(07-29-2015 03:36 AM)XII Wrote:  

(07-28-2015 10:19 AM)Lizard King Wrote:  Online is mainly validation fuel for lizard brains. Approaching in bars, clubs, shops, street etc will build your confidence and give you access to those free spirited nymphos. Those girls don't wait online for guys.

Brilliant.

I see girls working at the shops a half mile down the street from me who pretty much blow anything I've seen online out of the water. You're right, the legit ones that aren't (that) damaged really aren't on these sites, they have better things to do.

It's just a bit more difficult to find an opportunity to ask someone who seems friendly and interested out. There's one who works in a shop near me who is obviously interested, but is constantly surrounded by employees who are obvious cockblockers. Don't know what to do...

Delete

Have an older Philippina chick coming out to have a drink or two tomorrow evening. Told me she has a happy hour tomorrow night but asked if I wanted to meet up during the day or evening. I told her the evening to see if I can have her drop her plans. Very attractive with big boobs. She is about 10 years older than me.

She just left. Got the bang. We went 3 times in 2 hours. That woman has a very high sex drive. After the first time, she asked if she could suck my dick when we went back into the living room to finish the movie. My dick hurts. May need an ice pack. I know, I know, yall can call me a pussy.

Running into an interesting problem on OKCupid, Maybe you guys have insight. For reference, i'm a black dude, tall and pretty good looking. I'm also primarily attracted to white women, so thats who i've been targeting.

I live in San Diego, and have had no problem getting dates off the site so far. Actually surprised at how easy its been compared to other places, especially considering the quality.

The dates have all gone very well, on the surface. Never conversation lulls, lots of laughter, and about half of them end up in a full-blown makeout. Pretty similar to how my dates would go back where I used to live.

The problem comes afterward. Its been murder getting these chicks out for a 2nd date, no matter how well the first one seemingly goes.

I'm a good gauge of when the spark isnt there, and there have been chicks where we had an objectively fun time but I could tell the physical chemistry wasn't there for her. After the date ends we might text for a few more days and then when I try to set something else up, nothing. But as I said, I can usually tell when this is going to happen and though its unfortunate, i'm not shocked.

The confusing part is when these chicks are swallowing my face, or even just saying they want to stay out with me some more when I try to leave...and we're already making plans for the next date...and we text normally afterwards....and then days later when I mention going out again they disappear off the face of the earth. Some even after agreeing to it. I thought these were homeruns the day after.

The first couple times it happened I wrote it off as bad luck. But its been fairly consistent at this point. I have no clue whats going on.

I know its impossible to ask "what's wrong?" since nobody is there with a pen and pad taking down notes, but has anyone experienced something like this before? I never had this problem before moving to SD, and now i'm questioning everything about my game/approach. Too aggressive, not aggressive enough, too silly, texting too much, not texting enough, etc. No idea. Really at a loss here.

Why dont you just bang them on the first date? In my experience a lot of girls will lose their patience if you dont go for it on the first date and wont bother to see you again.,, Once you bang them they will backwards rationalize after the fact and meet you again as long as you laid the pipe half decently.

That's a good question.

A lot of them I meet around town in places that arent great logistics wise. Could be the first mistake, but if we live in different areas they seem keener to meet halfway than to come around my place. There's also the thought that trying to bang on the first might be too aggressive and turn them off.

Maybe giving them too much credit on both ends. I don't know. But there have been a few I don't think would have done it anyway, and still inexplicably disappeared after continuing to talk the following days.

I deleted my original OKC profile and set up a new one, shaving 8 years off my real age. We shall see how this goes.

The talent is disheartening so far, but it's early.

(08-08-2015 07:09 PM)jackflag Wrote:  Running into an interesting problem on OKCupid, Maybe you guys have insight. For reference, i'm a black dude, tall and pretty good looking. I'm also primarily attracted to white women, so thats who i've been targeting.

I live in San Diego, and have had no problem getting dates off the site so far. Actually surprised at how easy its been compared to other places, especially considering the quality.

The dates have all gone very well, on the surface. Never conversation lulls, lots of laughter, and about half of them end up in a full-blown makeout. Pretty similar to how my dates would go back where I used to live.

The problem comes afterward. Its been murder getting these chicks out for a 2nd date, no matter how well the first one seemingly goes.

I'm a good gauge of when the spark isnt there, and there have been chicks where we had an objectively fun time but I could tell the physical chemistry wasn't there for her. After the date ends we might text for a few more days and then when I try to set something else up, nothing. But as I said, I can usually tell when this is going to happen and though its unfortunate, i'm not shocked.

The confusing part is when these chicks are swallowing my face, or even just saying they want to stay out with me some more when I try to leave...and we're already making plans for the next date...and we text normally afterwards....and then days later when I mention going out again they disappear off the face of the earth. Some even after agreeing to it. I thought these were homeruns the day after.

The first couple times it happened I wrote it off as bad luck. But its been fairly consistent at this point. I have no clue whats going on.

I know its impossible to ask "what's wrong?" since nobody is there with a pen and pad taking down notes, but has anyone experienced something like this before? I never had this problem before moving to SD, and now i'm questioning everything about my game/approach. Too aggressive, not aggressive enough, too silly, texting too much, not texting enough, etc. No idea. Really at a loss here.

I live in DC, but there may be a couple issues with your situation:

1. Heard San Diego women are very flakey.

2. They only went out with you for a free drink/meal.

3. They wanted to validate their self worth since they have a bunch of insecurities or they have thirsty men vying for their attention and affection.

4. After the make out session, you put her on a pedestal and seemed needy through text/calls.

5. You did not escalate to your place after your make out sessions.

Of course, I don't know you or where you live and how you go about yourself on dates. Maybe San Diego women really suck and you're doing everything right. Think about each date with these women and try to pin point areas where you were successful, and where things turned sour.

Well, after quite a dry spell, it appears things are looking up. I've got two meetups scheduled with girls in their mid to late 20s for this week. Interest seems pretty high (they were actually proactively offering times they wanted to meet via text but I wasn't able to due to work, damn it) so I'm hoping things are fairly certain. I have two or three more on the "back burner" still in the initial phases on the site as well.

(08-08-2015 07:09 PM)jackflag Wrote:  The problem comes afterward. Its been murder getting these chicks out for a 2nd date, no matter how well the first one seemingly goes.

I'm a good gauge of when the spark isnt there, and there have been chicks where we had an objectively fun time but I could tell the physical chemistry wasn't there for her. After the date ends we might text for a few more days and then when I try to set something else up, nothing. But as I said, I can usually tell when this is going to happen and though its unfortunate, i'm not shocked.

The confusing part is when these chicks are swallowing my face, or even just saying they want to stay out with me some more when I try to leave...and we're already making plans for the next date...and we text normally afterwards....and then days later when I mention going out again they disappear off the face of the earth. Some even after agreeing to it. I thought these were homeruns the day after.

The first couple times it happened I wrote it off as bad luck. But its been fairly consistent at this point. I have no clue whats going on.

I know its impossible to ask "what's wrong?" since nobody is there with a pen and pad taking down notes, but has anyone experienced something like this before? I never had this problem before moving to SD, and now i'm questioning everything about my game/approach. Too aggressive, not aggressive enough, too silly, texting too much, not texting enough, etc. No idea. Really at a loss here.

It's not just a San Diego problem. It's throughout the US.

Unless you have sex with a girl on the first date, don't expect the second date to happen. Making out with her is not enough. She'll ghost you. Her carousel isn't stopping or slowing down for you. She has met someone else, and he's now first in line.

I've had this happen to me so many times that it doesn't even surprise me. The dividing line really is sex. Take it to the hole and she'll see you again. Otherwise, don't plan on going out with her another time. Expect her to disappear.

go for Tuthmosis Recipe for Securing First-Date Bangs http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-8681.html

(08-09-2015 12:28 PM)Bacchus Wrote:  

(08-08-2015 07:09 PM)jackflag Wrote:  The problem comes afterward. Its been murder getting these chicks out for a 2nd date, no matter how well the first one seemingly goes.

I'm a good gauge of when the spark isnt there, and there have been chicks where we had an objectively fun time but I could tell the physical chemistry wasn't there for her. After the date ends we might text for a few more days and then when I try to set something else up, nothing. But as I said, I can usually tell when this is going to happen and though its unfortunate, i'm not shocked.

The confusing part is when these chicks are swallowing my face, or even just saying they want to stay out with me some more when I try to leave...and we're already making plans for the next date...and we text normally afterwards....and then days later when I mention going out again they disappear off the face of the earth. Some even after agreeing to it. I thought these were homeruns the day after.

The first couple times it happened I wrote it off as bad luck. But its been fairly consistent at this point. I have no clue whats going on.

I know its impossible to ask "what's wrong?" since nobody is there with a pen and pad taking down notes, but has anyone experienced something like this before? I never had this problem before moving to SD, and now i'm questioning everything about my game/approach. Too aggressive, not aggressive enough, too silly, texting too much, not texting enough, etc. No idea. Really at a loss here.

It's not just a San Diego problem. It's throughout the US.

Unless you have sex with a girl on the first date, don't expect the second date to happen. Making out with her is not enough. She'll ghost you. Her carousel isn't stopping or slowing down for you. She has met someone else, and he's now first in line.

I've had this happen to me so many times that it doesn't even surprise me. The dividing line really is sex. Take it to the hole and she'll see you again. Otherwise, don't plan on going out with her another time. Expect her to disappear.

This just happened to be me last week, oddly enough with a girl from San Diego (I live in the midwest).

I think making out with a girl before she's at your pad gives her the validation she was seeking without the 'risks' involved with actual intimacy/sex.

(08-09-2015 12:28 PM)Bacchus Wrote:  Take it to the hole and she'll see you again.

Even then it's no guarantee you'll see each other again.

I'm in OC just up the 5 freeway from you and my experience mirrors yours. The others are right, if you want any shot of seeing her again you must get the bang on the first date. The handful of times I've gotten a second date without the bang the women were late 30s and beyond and still had the more old school mindset of dating.

There's been many times where I have spit my best first date game and couldn't get them to come home with me. In those cases the obvious explanation is they just weren't that into me regardless of what I did. Almost all of those dates ended with passionate make outs but let's face it the make out today is what the hand shake was years ago. It's a polite way to end a date when you have no further interest. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little disappointed but part of being red pill is accepting the facts as they are and not what you want them to be.

There's a lot of variables at play when it comes second dates..etc. If you're value is a higher than hers and you get along she'll want to see you again whether or not you fuck her. If you're talking about the situation where you have a similar value or hers higher then it gets tricky. These girls you can make out all you want but it won't mean shit towards a second date.

Logistics are your best friend when it comes to sex. If sex isn't possible then the only type of date i would want to be on is a casual one during the day where you wouldn't expect to have sex or make out like meeting for coffee. You won't lose any points for not fucking her. When it comes to night time you really want logistics on your side. This is why NYC is the best spot in the country for casual sex. You're not off in suburbs driving 20 miles each way to meet each other in some shitty strip mall bar.

So if one isn't comfortable/logistically able to always going for sex on the first date, the solution is to become very high value so that even the 6's and 7's want to see you again even if the bang didn't happen the first time out, right?

Sounds like a plan. Women above that are usually more trouble than they're worth anyway.

Great point wire. I neglected to mention that most of the second dates I did get were after daytime coffee dates where I needed to be somewhere after so there was never an invite back to my place or any type of escalation. You roll the dice either way. If you do casual daytime coffee you better make a good impression and hope for the second date. If you go for the first date bang you must go all in and anything short of a bang is a guaranteed L.

(08-09-2015 01:38 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  So if one isn't comfortable/logistically able to always going for sex on the first date, the solution is to become very high value so that even the 6's and 7's want to see you again even if the bang didn't happen the first time out, right?

Right that would be one solution but easier said than done because you need to be an 8+ yourself in order to get 6 and 7's that easy. You either gotta drop your standards or raise your own value somehow.

(08-09-2015 01:39 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  Great point wire. I neglected to mention that most of the second dates I did get were after daytime coffee dates where I needed to be somewhere after so there was never an invite back to my place or any type of escalation. You roll the dice either way. If you do casual daytime coffee you better make a good impression and hope for the second date. If you go for the first date bang you must go all in and anything short of a bang is a guaranteed L.

One of my last flings began with our first date for coffee during the day. Second date was her coming over to my apartment. Third date was her coming to my apartment. Total spent on her was $3.

I'm trying to duplicate this scenario more for obvious reasons. It's kind of a pain because im limited to the amount of day time coffee dates since Im working during the week so it leaves just weekends.

General online question(s):

How do you build a connection in messages?
How do you insert sexual references or tension? I am a natural at this in real life, but I seem to have trouble with this online.
and
When do you make the switch to phone or text?

(08-09-2015 04:36 PM)zaqan Wrote:  General online question(s):

How do you build a connection in messages?
How do you insert sexual references or tension? I am a natural at this in real life, but I seem to have trouble with this online.
and
When do you make the switch to phone or text?

What I do is send a message that is tailored to her profile. That usually merits a pretty high response rate. After that, I go about 30 messages to build up rapport and comfort before I give the "would it be easier to text" message. After the number, text her to get together. Once we meet up, then I escalate with sexual conversation. Its awkward to try and sexualize a conversation before you even meet the woman in person.

(08-09-2015 02:51 AM)Remington Wrote:  I live in DC, but there may be a couple issues with your situation:

1. Heard San Diego women are very flakey.

2. They only went out with you for a free drink/meal.

3. They wanted to validate their self worth since they have a bunch of insecurities or they have thirsty men vying for their attention and affection.

4. After the make out session, you put her on a pedestal and seemed needy through text/calls.

5. You did not escalate to your place after your make out sessions.

Of course, I don't know you or where you live and how you go about yourself on dates. Maybe San Diego women really suck and you're doing everything right. Think about each date with these women and try to pin point areas where you were successful, and where things turned sour.

The ones I bolded are what I think are most likely. The pedestal thing not as much, because I never contact them more afterward than I did before. I wasn't born yesterday. But maybe any contact afterward is too much? Jesus christ! Why so complicated!

I've done the breakdowns trying to figure out where things went sour, but that's the thing, they don't go sour (seemingly). Everything is usually awesome until its time to coordinate the second meet. I have tweaked certain things as time has went on, but the results are still the same - makeout or heavy IOI, follow up communication in days after, no contact after 2nd date proposal. Not every chick, I have two bangs since i've been here. But i've been out with a shit-ton of girls, and the vast majority end up like this.

The only thing I haven't done is aggressively go for the bang first day out. Which I haven't done mostly because i've never needed to in the past. That apparently needs to change...

Btw, i'm coming from the D.C. area too. My condolences dude.

(08-09-2015 12:28 PM)Bacchus Wrote:  It's not just a San Diego problem. It's throughout the US.

Unless you have sex with a girl on the first date, don't expect the second date to happen. Making out with her is not enough. She'll ghost you. Her carousel isn't stopping or slowing down for you. She has met someone else, and he's now first in line.

I've had this happen to me so many times that it doesn't even surprise me. The dividing line really is sex. Take it to the hole and she'll see you again. Otherwise, don't plan on going out with her another time. Expect her to disappear.

Normally i'd agree with you, but I never ran into this problem until I moved to San Diego. And i'm coming from Washington D.C., which sucks.

Ironically, the issue has flipped. In D.C. it was murder to get a chick to actually go out, but once I did it was a wrap. 99% of the time the relationship continued until the bang. Whether 2nd date or 3rd. That's why I haven't been so pressed to smash on the first, I just assume if a chick meets me out she'll be on my roster.

Here, the issue is the complete opposite. I don't know. I'll give it to the dudes here, guys in SD have their shit together, everyone is good looking, most are tall, and most have some game. Maybe the comp is so high once they've been out with you once they've "experienced" you and its on to the next exciting new thing.

(08-09-2015 01:10 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  I'm in OC just up the 5 freeway from you and my experience mirrors yours. The others are right, if you want any shot of seeing her again you must get the bang on the first date. The handful of times I've gotten a second date without the bang the women were late 30s and beyond and still had the more old school mindset of dating.

There's been many times where I have spit my best first date game and couldn't get them to come home with me. In those cases the obvious explanation is they just weren't that into me regardless of what I did. Almost all of those dates ended with passionate make outs but let's face it the make out today is what the hand shake was years ago. It's a polite way to end a date when you have no further interest. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little disappointed but part of being red pill is accepting the facts as they are and not what you want them to be.

Probably right. Its just confusing. Like I said, I can tell when she's having fun but just isn't feeling the chemistry physically, and when that ends with no contact i'm not shocked. Its the ones that are all over me, suggesting bounces to different places, extending the night voluntarily, texting the same night and day after, and even agreeing to a second meet...and then nothing.

Wtf? haha. Never experienced this before. Takes some getting used to.

(08-09-2015 01:31 PM)The Wire Wrote:  There's a lot of variables at play when it comes second dates..etc. If you're value is a higher than hers and you get along she'll want to see you again whether or not you fuck her. If you're talking about the situation where you have a similar value or hers higher then it gets tricky. These girls you can make out all you want but it won't mean shit towards a second date.

Yeah. Here's how i've been looking at it though (and this is probably a mistake from the looks of it):

Aren't you hoes trying to get OFF this site?

My base assumption was that people on these sites actually want to meet someone they like, see where it goes, and then not have to use OKC anymore. Basically, i'm assuming these girls are normal humans who don't plan on being single until they're 40. From all indications, this is a big mistake.

If you meet a guy and have a connection, mentally/physically, why would you not want to pursue it further? Not saying go exclusive right away, not at all, but if you can have a great time and suck face all through the night, but still not care about seeing the guy again, at what point does it stop? When Leo Dicaprio signs up and msg's you? haha

That's the confusing part. I've never met so many apparent career first-daters before. Its very un-feminine.

I don't know what the hell you guys are doin' in order to score all this action on the OKC, but it seems like I'm browsing on another planet. Astoundingly low quality material all around, and you know for a damn fact that anyone even minimally decent looking and on up is gonna have the inbox fuckin' exploding. How can I stand out from the crowd? I live in South-Eastern LA, and I seem to really have long since exhausted what's on here.

Let me take a knee and bask in the teachings of the finest coaches to be had . . .