Had this girl approach me. Chatted, got the number though I should have gone for the instadate, lesson learnt. Anyway, got the number. Texting was strictly logistics, she says ok to meet up but then hit the "I am tired with work' excuse ending with a "I still do want to meet up for a drink though honest' line with no alternative dates.
Replied with 'pfft', credits to hank moody. She replied unusually quickly with an angry emoticon.
Is this just another flake or is there more to it? Reply or ignore?
(02-05-2019 07:45 PM)Hazaer Wrote: Had this girl approach me. Chatted, got the number though I should have gone for the instadate, lesson learnt. Anyway, got the number. Texting was strictly logistics, she says ok to meet up but then hit the "I am tired with work' excuse ending with a "I still do want to meet up for a drink though honest' line with no alternative dates.
Replied with 'pfft', credits to hank moody. She replied unusually quickly with an angry emoticon.
Is this just another flake or is there more to it? Reply or ignore?
Cheers
No value in your pfft text. Better to stay silent as a) you will ignore her b) you still have earned yourself a response at a later day. Respond with logistics for a date later in the week. Give it a few day and it has to be during the week and not the weekend.
(01-23-2019 06:04 PM)Trent W. Wrote: I'll preface by saying I don't care that much about losing this bang. She's quite older, lives a bit far and has a daughter therefore limited time, bad logistics. But I feel it would be good sex.
That said, how would you guys respond to the "Unfortunately I don't feel interested" text?
Background:
Woman in her early 40s, great shape, met online. Came to my place after about a month since the first contact (holidays and other stuff were between and we didn't maintain contact the whole time). We drank wine, listened to George Michael whom she adores, talked, made out and she gave me an unfinished handjob. Could tell she was horny. She was on her period and told me she wouldn't have sex because of that. She messaged me the day after the date to tell me she made it home ok, I replied and all was good.
Long story short, the woman showed signs of interest in meeting again after that but seemed a bit hesitant to do it at my place with pretty much knowing what would go down. So on my last text, I ask her if she wants to meet this coming weekend. Today, 3 days later, she sends me the text I posted at the top.
I'd guess that she wants some sort of dating relationship and probably realized that our age difference, life situation and what I want from her doesn't align with that.
The reason I'm asking is simply to see if anybody has turned something like that around.
My thoughts:
- "It's ok. If you change your mind you know where to find me." Non reactive, short, implicit but still to the point.
- "Alright. Got a new TV with better sound, if you want to listen to George Michael again hit me up." Same as above, a bit more playful and referring to our fist meet.
- "Not interested in George Michael again? Alright, can put on Phil Collins this time." Trolling, light hearted and funny, referring to the first meet.
Like I said, I'm not sweating this one. But since she didn't ghost me, it may mean she was thinking about what to do. So if I can keep the door open, I wonder what the best way to do it in is.
Papayatapper below nails it. All your messages are pleas for desperate texts which will fall on deaf ears. It's not you: just the women mentality. Next time convince a woman to have sex with you during her period. Read up and figure out a way. One strategy can be I don't find blood disgusting- here I will get a towel- let me massage you- Period makes you more horny. Here's the truth man, if you don't bang in today's shitty online dating climate you lose. No second chances period. ABC! You can't keep on refusing someone earnest and diligent- always give your all and don't stop trying. Remember she's already made up her mind to have sex with you that's why she's in your vicinity.
(02-05-2019 07:45 PM)Hazaer Wrote: Had this girl approach me. Chatted, got the number though I should have gone for the instadate, lesson learnt. Anyway, got the number. Texting was strictly logistics, she says ok to meet up but then hit the "I am tired with work' excuse ending with a "I still do want to meet up for a drink though honest' line with no alternative dates.
Replied with 'pfft', credits to hank moody. She replied unusually quickly with an angry emoticon.
Is this just another flake or is there more to it? Reply or ignore?
Cheers
No value in your pfft text. Better to stay silent as a) you will ignore her b) you still have earned yourself a response at a later day. Respond with logistics for a date later in the week. Give it a few day and it has to be during the week and not the weekend.
(02-05-2019 08:01 PM)eradicator Wrote: Hazaer. It's on, she approached you, you just have to lead her. Try for Sunday night, keep the rest of your logistics the same.
Yeah i could have taken on her offer a bit later by ignoring her text.
Usually i ignore flakes but a restart later always has resulted in a flake once again when it comes to the meetup so I thought of trying a more direct approach with a dismissive reply instead
.
She did have expressive texts, the opposite of mine which were purely logistical but it still flaked so I have doubts as to whether she is looking for attention.
How about texting a couple days later on thursday with 'lets have a drink [email protected]' ?
(02-06-2019 07:02 AM)MOVSM Wrote: How do you even respond to that? this one has me stumped...
My reaction is to next her. what did i do wrong, what could be done better?
She all but nexted you.
It's bumble, not grindr (don't know a straight-person equivalent, just to make a point)
She said hi not "oh I want to go on a date with you, please send me where"
Girls will forgive you for being a little too bold vs. too passive BUT:
Girls will not forgive you for having very poor social calibration. I think you could've pushed for a date quickly, but throwing out the date without establishing ANY rapport is too aggressive.
You can try to salvage but you're backed into a corner here. Could pretend it was meant for someone else but I'd probably go with, "you don't like Shirlington?" or "So 8 is too early for you?" or something else cheeky. Others may have a better response.
(02-06-2019 07:02 AM)MOVSM Wrote: How do you even respond to that? this one has me stumped...
My reaction is to next her. what did i do wrong, what could be done better?
Dude she doesn't know you from a bar of soap, why would she agree to an insta-date with you? At least build a modicum of comfort and make her laugh once or twice before going all-in.
Hi guys, need some idea. I've been chatting via whatsup with a tinder girl for plenty of days already. She lives somewhat far from here, and then came up conversation about a holiday that is coming soon and she said she will come by to my city, but i am going to travel somewhere the same date. She said she will come with a friend and stay at place x, and she would like to stay longer bla bla.
Me: you are going to stay for a short time, you could come another weekend instead of that holiday
She: but i already paid for the reservation
Me: so that's your fault, should have talked with me before.
She: i thought about staying at my ex-home. He said he wants to talk, but i dont know
Conversation before was really nice and playfull for days, i dont know where the hell she brought this ex living nearby. Its kinda of shit test. I thought about:
1. No reply
2. I believe in you
3. Does that work in other men?
Stop talking to tinder girls that are not in your town on whatsapp.
Just say you are not going to be in town, maybe next time, if you reply at all. But I'd suggest that you concentrate on girls in your town instead of being an emotional tampon for girls who are in another town.
So I'm relatively new to cold approaching, but I'm absolutely new to text game. I have no idea what to say or do. I mainly use text for logistics with a girl. In any other case, I'm willing to give it a shot because why the fuck not. Let's get to the story:
I met this cute Latina girl at the community college I haunt. Hipster. Loves rock and that godawful hipster music. I cold approached her and stated, "Hey, so I saw you around the corner and I thought you were cute so I wanted to meet you." We talked for about 20 minutes before her Dad picked her up from community college. At first, she asked me if I had Instagram. I said no and asked for her number. She gave it to me and here's the text history atm. Keep in mind, this was an hour ago.
Me: "Hey [her name], it's Adam that Asian dude you met... save my number."
Her: "Okay [insert squirrel emoji here]."
Me: "My lazy ass needs to create an Instagram."
Her: "Yes it's the new resume." (As in 'social resume', when she asked if I had Instagram, I said no but a buddy of mine called it a 'social resume'. She seemed to adapt that idea.)
So gentlemen, how do I proceed to create attraction?
PS: She showed me her Instagram. It was mostly inspirational quotes and a few pictures of her. Very cute. She said she had other 'mature' pictures of her, but she keeps those private. Subtle suggestion maybe?
So I'm relatively new to cold approaching, but I'm absolutely new to text game. I have no idea what to say or do. I mainly use text for logistics with a girl. In any other case, I'm willing to give it a shot because why the fuck not. Let's get to the story:
I met this cute Latina girl at the community college I haunt. Hipster. Loves rock and that godawful hipster music. I cold approached her and stated, "Hey, so I saw you around the corner and I thought you were cute so I wanted to meet you." We talked for about 20 minutes before her Dad picked her up from community college. At first, she asked me if I had Instagram. I said no and asked for her number. She gave it to me and here's the text history atm. Keep in mind, this was an hour ago.
Me: "Hey [her name], it's Adam that Asian dude you met... save my number."
Her: "Okay [insert squirrel emoji here]."
Me: "My lazy ass needs to create an Instagram."
Her: "Yes it's the new resume." (As in 'social resume', when she asked if I had Instagram, I said no but a buddy of mine called it a 'social resume'. She seemed to adapt that idea.)
So gentlemen, how do I proceed to create attraction?
PS: She showed me her Instagram. It was mostly inspirational quotes and a few pictures of her. Very cute. She said she had other 'mature' pictures of her, but she keeps those private. Subtle suggestion maybe?
Hopefully you spent 20 minutes with her building attraction and getting to know her, try to get her on dates and escalate. Tell her that you like to keep texting to logistics.
So I'm relatively new to cold approaching, but I'm absolutely new to text game. I have no idea what to say or do. I mainly use text for logistics with a girl. In any other case, I'm willing to give it a shot because why the fuck not. Let's get to the story:
I met this cute Latina girl at the community college I haunt. Hipster. Loves rock and that godawful hipster music. I cold approached her and stated, "Hey, so I saw you around the corner and I thought you were cute so I wanted to meet you." We talked for about 20 minutes before her Dad picked her up from community college. At first, she asked me if I had Instagram. I said no and asked for her number. She gave it to me and here's the text history atm. Keep in mind, this was an hour ago.
Me: "Hey [her name], it's Adam that Asian dude you met... save my number."
Her: "Okay [insert squirrel emoji here]."
Me: "My lazy ass needs to create an Instagram."
Her: "Yes it's the new resume." (As in 'social resume', when she asked if I had Instagram, I said no but a buddy of mine called it a 'social resume'. She seemed to adapt that idea.)
So gentlemen, how do I proceed to create attraction?
PS: She showed me her Instagram. It was mostly inspirational quotes and a few pictures of her. Very cute. She said she had other 'mature' pictures of her, but she keeps those private. Subtle suggestion maybe?
Hopefully you spent 20 minutes with her building attraction and getting to know her, try to get her on dates and escalate. Tell her that you like to keep texting to logistics.
Yep, I learn my game primarily from James Marshall and Mark Manson. So I spent time creating attraction and finding common interests we share. Honestly, there isn't too many. While we're both chill individuals, I remained open minded and prodded her on topics she likes. Like what James Marshall states, I went for the 'Why?' she liked the things she did. It actually worked quite well. She opened up. I believe some attraction was created... but not as much as I liked.
Sooner or later she will ask you to follow her on Instagram or see if you have seen her profile. One way or the other she will crave attention and send you pics. That's when you act cool and say you'd rather follow her on her finsta or you prefer a personal touch to her pics. Subtlety, wit and sarcasm go a long way. Btw I agree with eradicator's approach which also is a universal truth.
(02-06-2019 07:02 AM)MOVSM Wrote: How do you even respond to that? this one has me stumped...
My reaction is to next her. what did i do wrong, what could be done better?
Her 2nd, "worth a try"-text indicates to me that it is still open.
How to respond to the background check text? It's ridiculous and a shit test - amplify and agree, then change topics and move on.
Example:
"Yeah, I know what you mean, I usually only date girls when I have their fingerprints and a copy of their resume. I checked your pics though, you seem trustworthy
Anyway...(snip & stack)"
Or you could throw it right back at her, just as a joke (and then follow-up with another topic again):
"Ok, sure no problem: let's meet in shirlington at copperwood tavern 8ish on Thursday and I can hand you a copy of my background report
Anyway...(snip & stack)"
(02-05-2019 07:45 PM)Hazaer Wrote: Had this girl approach me. Chatted, got the number though I should have gone for the instadate, lesson learnt. Anyway, got the number. Texting was strictly logistics, she says ok to meet up but then hit the "I am tired with work' excuse ending with a "I still do want to meet up for a drink though honest' line with no alternative dates.
Replied with 'pfft', credits to hank moody. She replied unusually quickly with an angry emoticon.
There's decent room to play here, reinterpret the emoticon sexually.
- pfft
- "angry emoticon"
- some pent up energy there? (wink emoticon optional)
So I'm relatively new to cold approaching, but I'm absolutely new to text game. I have no idea what to say or do. I mainly use text for logistics with a girl. In any other case, I'm willing to give it a shot because why the fuck not. Let's get to the story:
I met this cute Latina girl at the community college I haunt. Hipster. Loves rock and that godawful hipster music. I cold approached her and stated, "Hey, so I saw you around the corner and I thought you were cute so I wanted to meet you." We talked for about 20 minutes before her Dad picked her up from community college. At first, she asked me if I had Instagram. I said no and asked for her number. She gave it to me and here's the text history atm. Keep in mind, this was an hour ago.
Me: "Hey [her name], it's Adam that Asian dude you met... save my number."
Her: "Okay [insert squirrel emoji here]."
Me: "My lazy ass needs to create an Instagram."
Her: "Yes it's the new resume." (As in 'social resume', when she asked if I had Instagram, I said no but a buddy of mine called it a 'social resume'. She seemed to adapt that idea.)
So gentlemen, how do I proceed to create attraction?
PS: She showed me her Instagram. It was mostly inspirational quotes and a few pictures of her. Very cute. She said she had other 'mature' pictures of her, but she keeps those private. Subtle suggestion maybe?
Yes. Read the whole thread from top to bottom first to crawl out of the texting pre-kindergarten that you're in.
(02-05-2019 07:45 PM)Hazaer Wrote: Had this girl approach me. Chatted, got the number though I should have gone for the instadate, lesson learnt. Anyway, got the number. Texting was strictly logistics, she says ok to meet up but then hit the "I am tired with work' excuse ending with a "I still do want to meet up for a drink though honest' line with no alternative dates.
Replied with 'pfft', credits to hank moody. She replied unusually quickly with an angry emoticon.
Is this just another flake or is there more to it? Reply or ignore?
Cheers
Like others said , you should have gone with no reply and reinitiate later.
1- Positive signs : She approached you. She said she want to go for drinks
2- Negative signs: She flaked . No counter offer .
I wouldn't think too much about "no counter offer". Not every girl counter offers.
'm talking to this sweet Latina girl who I ran across from the local community college. So far, we've been discussing movies we're into and the like. If I had a "favorite" girl I approached so far, it'd be her. Here's the text conversation we've had so far:
Me: "Hey [her name], it's Adam from AWC... save my number giiiirl (this is mostly Clown Game I learned from Roosh V. When I approached her, I did a mixture of Clown Game and direct game)
Me (next day): "Hey [her name], it's Adam... that Asian guy you met at AWC last night. You said you liked watching TV and Netflix. What do you watch?"
Her: "Hi Adam from AWC."
Her: "Action movies not really into shows that much but I'll watch some."
Me: "Hey [her name] the plant girl (she's going to college for botany). Have you seen Polar yet?"
Her: "I haven't watched it. What's it about man?"
Me: "It's based on a comic book about a hitman that wants to quit but they sent five hitmen to kill him very simple but really good think john wick meets james bond."
Her: "Oooo sounds good. I'll watch. Are you into action movies?"
Aaaand that's it. I feel it's too 'friendzone-y'. I'm unsure how to escalate in this situation. I hope I'm not developing the accursed oneitis, but this is one girl I'd love to date. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear it.
(02-05-2019 07:45 PM)Hazaer Wrote: Had this girl approach me. Chatted, got the number though I should have gone for the instadate, lesson learnt. Anyway, got the number. Texting was strictly logistics, she says ok to meet up but then hit the "I am tired with work' excuse ending with a "I still do want to meet up for a drink though honest' line with no alternative dates.
Replied with 'pfft', credits to hank moody. She replied unusually quickly with an angry emoticon.
Is this just another flake or is there more to it? Reply or ignore?
Cheers
Like others said , you should have gone with no reply and reinitiate later.
1- Positive signs : She approached you. She said she want to go for drinks
2- Negative signs: She flaked . No counter offer .
I wouldn't think too much about "no counter offer". Not every girl counter offers.
Verdict : It is still on.
Followed up with a 'hows your weekend' a few days later. She replies 'been off all weekend'. Asked her to come to a bar in an hour's time. I know its a 10 mins walk for her. She replies 'ah no cant tonight babe'. Then another text a minute later 'shoulda said earlier.' No counter offer again haha.
(01-23-2019 06:04 PM)Trent W. Wrote: I'll preface by saying I don't care that much about losing this bang. She's quite older, lives a bit far and has a daughter therefore limited time, bad logistics. But I feel it would be good sex.
That said, how would you guys respond to the "Unfortunately I don't feel interested" text?
Background:
Woman in her early 40s, great shape, met online. Came to my place after about a month since the first contact (holidays and other stuff were between and we didn't maintain contact the whole time). We drank wine, listened to George Michael whom she adores, talked, made out and she gave me an unfinished handjob. Could tell she was horny. She was on her period and told me she wouldn't have sex because of that. She messaged me the day after the date to tell me she made it home ok, I replied and all was good.
Long story short, the woman showed signs of interest in meeting again after that but seemed a bit hesitant to do it at my place with pretty much knowing what would go down. So on my last text, I ask her if she wants to meet this coming weekend. Today, 3 days later, she sends me the text I posted at the top.
I'd guess that she wants some sort of dating relationship and probably realized that our age difference, life situation and what I want from her doesn't align with that.
The reason I'm asking is simply to see if anybody has turned something like that around.
My thoughts:
- "It's ok. If you change your mind you know where to find me." Non reactive, short, implicit but still to the point.
- "Alright. Got a new TV with better sound, if you want to listen to George Michael again hit me up." Same as above, a bit more playful and referring to our fist meet.
- "Not interested in George Michael again? Alright, can put on Phil Collins this time." Trolling, light hearted and funny, referring to the first meet.
Like I said, I'm not sweating this one. But since she didn't ghost me, it may mean she was thinking about what to do. So if I can keep the door open, I wonder what the best way to do it in is.
Papayatapper below nails it. All your messages are pleas for desperate texts which will fall on deaf ears. It's not you: just the women mentality. Next time convince a woman to have sex with you during her period. Read up and figure out a way. One strategy can be I don't find blood disgusting- here I will get a towel- let me massage you- Period makes you more horny. Here's the truth man, if you don't bang in today's shitty online dating climate you lose. No second chances period. ABC! You can't keep on refusing someone earnest and diligent- always give your all and don't stop trying. Remember she's already made up her mind to have sex with you that's why she's in your vicinity.
Thanks for the feedback. I have already posted the result of that interaction. I agree that there is some degree of wanting a text back in what I proposed, although I would not go as far as to call it desperate.
In any case, I keep the important stuff from your answer in short Always Be Closing.
(02-05-2019 07:45 PM)Hazaer Wrote: Had this girl approach me. Chatted, got the number though I should have gone for the instadate, lesson learnt. Anyway, got the number. Texting was strictly logistics, she says ok to meet up but then hit the "I am tired with work' excuse ending with a "I still do want to meet up for a drink though honest' line with no alternative dates.
Replied with 'pfft', credits to hank moody. She replied unusually quickly with an angry emoticon.
Is this just another flake or is there more to it? Reply or ignore?
Cheers
Like others said , you should have gone with no reply and reinitiate later.
1- Positive signs : She approached you. She said she want to go for drinks
2- Negative signs: She flaked . No counter offer .
I wouldn't think too much about "no counter offer". Not every girl counter offers.
Verdict : It is still on.
Followed up with a 'hows your weekend' a few days later. She replies 'been off all weekend'. Asked her to come to a bar in an hour's time. I know its a 10 mins walk for her. She replies 'ah no cant tonight babe'. Then another text a minute later 'shoulda said earlier.' No counter offer again haha.
I personally don't invite people an hour before the time. I invite them a day or two before.
Anyway, second time and no counter offer . You have two options :
1- No reply
2- Send her shoulder shrug emoji and leave it at this.