I really appreciate all the advice I've gotten over the years from members on this board (and increasingly off forum/in person) and today I stumbled across an old thread from 2013 which is still very relevant today. There's some absolute gold being dropped in it so I encourage you to read it all the way through to the end if you're looking for some great examples of how to handle the interaction, even before the first message ever hits her phone. Enjoy:

What is your text messaging script after meeting a new girl?

I noticed that this was soon before I got into a LTR where prior I had been successfully spinning multiple plates and was at the top of my text game so the impact of some of my own advice back then on me now (after being out of that LTR and struggling for quite a while) is profound.

Smashed this Brazilian girl off tinder the other night. She loved it and was talking about “next time” before we were even done. I kicked her out after because “I had work to do”.

I’m setting up round 2 and need a cheeky response to her last message below. Her English isn’t great so a lot goes over her head, but that just makes it funnier.

Her: It’s depends if you have or not work to do Friday Night
Me: You’re the only one who works on the weekends darling
Her: I mean after sex

(02-12-2019 10:04 PM)strider Wrote:  Smashed this Brazilian girl off tinder the other night. She loved it and was talking about “next time” before we were even done. I kicked her out after because “I had work to do”.

I’m setting up round 2 and need a cheeky response to her last message below. Her English isn’t great so a lot goes over her head, but that just makes it funnier.

Her: It’s depends if you have or not work to do Friday Night
Me: You’re the only one who works on the weekends darling
Her: I mean after sex

What's your goal? She doesn't want to get kicked out right afterwards but you need to clarify if you're okay with her staying or if you are planning on kicking her out again. Suggested responses will differ based on your goal.

I’m cool with her chilling afterwards, but she’s not staying the night.

Looking for good ways to deflect this over text, and also in person when it comes time for her to leave.

(02-13-2019 07:51 PM)strider Wrote:  I’m cool with her chilling afterwards, but she’s not staying the night.

Looking for good ways to deflect this over text, and also in person when it comes time for her to leave.

AneroidOcean hinted at two, mutually exclusive options, I believe. There's a simple matrix of outcomes, regarding her asking to stay overnight:

Your yes, her yes.
Your no, her no.
your no, her yes.
Your yes, her no.

Assign intuitive probabilities to each outcome, and roll the dice to get most favourable outcome. Nevertheless, I'll leave you with a quote from Warren Buffet: "Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don't expect it from cheap people."

Stuck on a "reset" text for a girl I've seen twice and banged twice.

So far, we've only gone out, then went back and had sex. Haven't talked to her in about 4 days. We don't text much, only text to make plans to see each other.

Kind of like her, so want to send something that shows I'm thinking of spending more time with her, but also want to fuck her again.

Any thoughts?

(02-16-2019 01:22 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-13-2019 07:51 PM)strider Wrote:  I’m cool with her chilling afterwards, but she’s not staying the night.

Looking for good ways to deflect this over text, and also in person when it comes time for her to leave.

AneroidOcean hinted at two, mutually exclusive options, I believe. There's a simple matrix of outcomes, regarding her asking to stay overnight:

Your yes, her yes.
Your no, her no.
your no, her yes.
Your yes, her no.

Assign intuitive probabilities to each outcome, and roll the dice to get most favourable outcome. Nevertheless, I'll leave you with a quote from Warren Buffet: "Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don't expect it from cheap people."

Rolled the dice and came up short. I said "depends if she's a good girl or not" and she responded positively. But since it was a non-answer she ended up asking again, and again, if she could stay over. So I just told her the truth - she couldn't because I had to get up early for something. This was a dealbreaker:

Her: Sorry, Strider. But I think you should look for someone else to hangout with
Me: Does this mean we're getting a divorce?
Her: It means that you don’t need waste your precious time with me
Me: or we could just find a day both of us are free

And then radio silence. I'll wait a couple days and restart, but it seems like I killed this one for gaming her (and making her think my reasons for kicking her out were lies) when I should've been straight up.

Girl I had sex on last 2 of 4 dates but she went away for 2 weeks, been texting once in a while over that time, mostly of me sending pics of doing cool stuff. Recently she got back:

Me: May have got a sport award today, let's celebrate with drinks X or Y day
Her: That's awesome!
Her: I can't this week, got a lot of college work
Her: What did you get an award for?


I'm 99.9% sure this is a soft rejection. She went from being super excited for each date to slowly being a bit distant while away, even though she does try to keep the convo going. The thing about being busy the whole week is bull, she was even busier when we going on dates and stayed the night before her big deadline. She told me she wanted a relationship early on, while I played it cool but did want to progress with her.

Planning to ignore and maybe restart in 2-3 weeks just in case?

Guys - this isn't really what to text next, but didn't know where else to put this, and I didn't want to start a new thread.

One of my preferred plates is currently playing a game. We're not in the same country at the moment (I'm back in my home country for a month, she's in EE). Her interest level when we're together seems high.

Since the distance she's stopped initiating texts. The catch is, when I do text she responds almost immediately and a thread is started, her enthusiasm is good, asking if we could facetime, etc. It's just that she never initiates anymore, putting me in a very low-value position of having to re-engage every few days to maintain contact before I return.

I could just stop contacting her altogether until I'm back in her city. But that might backfire. I'm at a loss. Should I not care about re-engaging if her enthusiasm is always high?

My text game is shite

This is what I've got from one girl

"you are sweet and king and a gentleman and there are so few left"

so Im ended in friendzone

(02-22-2019 04:57 AM)Pytonga Wrote:  My text game is shite

This is what I've got from one girl

"you are sweet and king and a gentleman and there are so few left"

so Im ended in friendzone

Girl: you are sweet and king and a gentleman and there are so few left

MasterofTheUniverse: aye, but after twilight it all changes...

(02-21-2019 05:36 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  Guys - this isn't really what to text next, but didn't know where else to put this, and I didn't want to start a new thread.

One of my preferred plates is currently playing a game. We're not in the same country at the moment (I'm back in my home country for a month, she's in EE). Her interest level when we're together seems high.

Since the distance she's stopped initiating texts. The catch is, when I do text she responds almost immediately and a thread is started, her enthusiasm is good, asking if we could facetime, etc. It's just that she never initiates anymore, putting me in a very low-value position of having to re-engage every few days to maintain contact before I return.

I could just stop contacting her altogether until I'm back in her city. But that might backfire. I'm at a loss. Should I not care about re-engaging if her enthusiasm is always high?

So it means you're invested somewhat more in her, than she is in you if it ls always you reaching out UNLESS that has been the script you've co-developed from beginning. If she's ultra-feminine and passive she may assume that's how it works - you lead, she follows.

However, you're asking the question suggests, it hasn't been like that before and you think you need to redress the balance. No doubt, a woman needs to be emotionally invested in you, ideally think about you, day-dream about you to keep it work, especially at a distance. There are different means to accomplish it and your method is better than nothing. However, it can be worrying she does not initiate any contact, and this is usually not a good sign. If you care about someone, you expect them to reach out with some reasonable regularity (which can differ from particular couple's setup, be it 10 times a day or just a few times a week).

If you really want to figure it out, put it to the test. Just don't contact her, and see how many hours/days will it take her to contact you. It will tell you where you are in her mind. However, psychologically, unpredictable, intermittent rewards work best. One trick you can do, assume she's long gone. It will generate outcome independence and clearer mind in execution. The more you worry, the more it will leak out as unbalanced, the more she withdraws, the more you pursue, the higher chance it will truly blow up. After all, its a long distance relationship and they are almost exclusively unworkable and not worth the effort.

(02-22-2019 09:03 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-21-2019 05:36 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  Guys - this isn't really what to text next, but didn't know where else to put this, and I didn't want to start a new thread.

One of my preferred plates is currently playing a game. We're not in the same country at the moment (I'm back in my home country for a month, she's in EE). Her interest level when we're together seems high.

Since the distance she's stopped initiating texts. The catch is, when I do text she responds almost immediately and a thread is started, her enthusiasm is good, asking if we could facetime, etc. It's just that she never initiates anymore, putting me in a very low-value position of having to re-engage every few days to maintain contact before I return.

I could just stop contacting her altogether until I'm back in her city. But that might backfire. I'm at a loss. Should I not care about re-engaging if her enthusiasm is always high?

So it means you're invested somewhat more in her, than she is in you if it ls always you reaching out UNLESS that has been the script you've co-developed from beginning. If she's ultra-feminine and passive she may assume that's how it works - you lead, she follows.

However, you're asking the question suggests, it hasn't been like that before and you think you need to redress the balance. No doubt, a woman needs to be emotionally invested in you, ideally think about you, day-dream about you to keep it work, especially at a distance. There are different means to accomplish it and your method is better than nothing. However, it can be worrying she does not initiate any contact, and this is usually not a good sign. If you care about someone, you expect them to reach out with some reasonable regularity (which can differ from particular couple's setup, be it 10 times a day or just a few times a week).

If you really want to figure it out, put it to the test. Just don't contact her, and see how many hours/days will it take her to contact you. It will tell you where you are in her mind. However, psychologically, unpredictable, intermittent rewards work best. One trick you can do, assume she's long gone. It will generate outcome independence and clearer mind in execution. The more you worry, the more it will leak out as unbalanced, the more she withdraws, the more you pursue, the higher chance it will truly blow up. After all, its a long distance relationship and they are almost exclusively unworkable and not worth the effort.

I found myself somehow in a similar situation earlier this month. I hit it off with a girl I met right after the New Year, and we went on two dates. Didn't smash the first date, however did after the 2nd. I initially had interest in her from a LTR perspective, however looking back, I was invested in her much more. I would be the one initiating the contact during the week, suggesting plans, meetups etc. I think ifI had not banged, my mind would've been clearer and I wouldn't have come off as pressed to see her (and bang her) again. One-itis gets the best of us all sometimes.

I am taking the advice of leaving her alone and seeing how long it will take her to reach out.

Me: Orale! Where'd a nice Jewish girl like you learn Spanish like that?
Her: I took Spanish for three years in highschool. Plus Im a nurse so I know some medical phrases to get by. Nowhere near conversational, just picking up what I need as I ho
Her: Ah! As I go not hoe haha
Me: I think I drew blood from biting my tongue too hard
You're now liable for the damages
Her: Oops ? let me fix you up
Me: Yes. Let's do that tomorrow at xxx's in ---ton. 8ish?

***a week later***

Her: Hmm sounds like you're asking me on a date. (And apparently I'm like a week late sadly)


Now I'm kinda pissed after this exchange. She is not even hot enough to pull this kinda thing. I know I shouldn't reply for a week. Should I even bother with her or should I continue? If so-how I keep frame?

(02-26-2019 08:49 AM)MOVSM Wrote:  Me: Orale! Where'd a nice Jewish girl like you learn Spanish like that?
Her: I took Spanish for three years in highschool. Plus Im a nurse so I know some medical phrases to get by. Nowhere near conversational, just picking up what I need as I ho
Her: Ah! As I go not hoe haha
Me: I think I drew blood from biting my tongue too hard
You're now liable for the damages
Her: Oops ? let me fix you up
Me: Yes. Let's do that tomorrow at xxx's in ---ton. 8ish?

***a week later***

Her: Hmm sounds like you're asking me on a date. (And apparently I'm like a week late sadly)


Now I'm kinda pissed after this exchange. She is not even hot enough to pull this kinda thing. I know I shouldn't reply for a week. Should I even bother with her or should I continue? If so-how I keep frame?

Who knows what's going on in her life? Right now, you're just another line of text on her phone.

It sounds like she's interested, and with as little investment as you have in her, I'd advise letting it roll off your back.

So maybe:

Her: Hmm sounds like you're asking me on a date. (And apparently I'm like a week late sadly)

You: Thought about it. But you've been a bad kitty!


That should restart it on a playful note. The Game is a journey, not a race.

Mistake.

Just had the following exchange on POF with a 25 year old (I'm 31 but pretending to be 25 on POF)

Me opening: Love your work ethic!

Her: Thank you

Me: Yea but I need a gal who knows how to kick back and have fun as well. Is that you?

Her: Yesss that’s me. Can u eat my pussy for me tonight

Me: I was planning to hit the gym. Is your pussy worth skipping leg day?


She hasn't replied. My rationale was to make her validate herself to me but it was clearly a misstep.

(03-04-2019 01:51 AM)Snag87 Wrote:  Just had the following exchange on POF with a 25 year old (I'm 31 but pretending to be 25 on POF)

Me opening: Love your work ethic!

Her: Thank you

Me: Yea but I need a gal who knows how to kick back and have fun as well. Is that you?

Her: Yesss that’s me. Can u eat my pussy for me tonight

Me: I was planning to hit the gym. Is your pussy worth skipping leg day?


She hasn't replied. My rationale was to make her validate herself to me but it was clearly a misstep.

Sounds like she's "pretending" too.

Number of times I've heard a 25 year old use the word "gal" - 0.

Wait a day and then try setting up a date

Been on a few dates with a girl, the last date was last Tuesday, we had sex for the first time. She went kind of silent for 2 days afterward and i thought she had lost interest, but she calls me up on Thursday night and wants to "hear my voice" and chat, we end up talking for 40 minutes and laughing at jokes.

She told me she's been busy with music practice which i know is legit. Her interest in me still seems high from what i've picked up.

She also told me on the phone she has an exam coming up this week, so i haven't texted or called her at all, wanted to give her space. it's been 5 days with silence.

Should i wait for her to text me when she's done with her exam? And also show some abundance and let her miss me even more this way.

Or is it bad to have this long of silence and i should instead send her a little cute text telling her good luck with the exam and im looking forward to see her again?

(03-05-2019 05:56 AM)chvrches Wrote:  Been on a few dates with a girl, the last date was last Tuesday, we had sex for the first time. She went kind of silent for 2 days afterward and i thought she had lost interest, but she calls me up on Thursday night and wants to "hear my voice" and chat, we end up talking for 40 minutes and laughing at jokes.

She told me she's been busy with music practice which i know is legit. Her interest in me still seems high from what I've picked up.

She also told me on the phone she has an exam coming up this week, so i haven't texted or called her at all, wanted to give her space. it's been 5 days with silence.

Should i wait for her to text me when she's done with her exam? And also show some abundance and let her miss me even more this way.

Or is it bad to have this long of silence and i should instead send her a little cute text telling her good luck with the exam and im looking forward to see her again?

I wouldn't leave her hanging for 5+ days, that's too much dread especially if she seems relationship-y which she seems based on the multiple dates before you had sex and her calling and wanting to hear your voice.

I wouldn't however text her good luck with the exam as it's likely too nice.

I'd go with something more flirty and fun. Maybe just text her a picture of something cool or active that you're doing and a line like, "drowning under your textbooks yet" or "Are you ready to study me yet"

So I went to Montreal for first time to sightsee and do some game, I posted my report on the Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa thread at the travel section. One of my approaches was this cute woman from southern France in the Art museum. I told her we should get together sometime for drinks and she said, why not, then She gave me her French number to chat via WhatsApp and I came back to upstate NY.

I have been texting her to build more rapport as my initial approach was short, I want to potentially meet her again but my logistics are terrible, 4 hour bus ride to Montreal. My text game is also not very good. Here is our conversation;

Me: hope you enjoyed the Museum Aurelia
Her: Hi, yes how about you?
Me: I enjoyed, you look like you do something creative, like art
Her: Haha yes I am an architect, and you?
Me: I am an urban planner, would you say Architecture is your passion?
Her: oh really, where did you study? I have other passions also Haha, and you?
Me: I studied at Drexel, that's a cute smile on your picture(her WhatsApp profile picture), I have other passions as well

Then silence, I have not had the opportunity to text her in two days, how do I restart conversation to lead to a potential date? And is it really worth going back to Montreal since logistics aren't in my favor, I was thinking coffee shop close to the museum, also considering she might flake.

Thanks for any insight

(03-07-2019 10:02 PM)Sex Machine Wrote:  So I went to Montreal for first time to sightsee and do some game, I posted my report on the Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa thread at the travel section. One of my approaches was this cute woman from southern France in the Art museum. I told her we should get together sometime for drinks and she said, why not, then She gave me her French number to chat via WhatsApp and I came back to upstate NY.

I have been texting her to build more rapport as my initial approach was short, I want to potentially meet her again but my logistics are terrible, 4 hour bus ride to Montreal. My text game is also not very good. Here is our conversation;

Me: hope you enjoyed the Museum Aurelia
Her: Hi, yes how about you?
Me: I enjoyed, you look like you do something creative, like art
Her: Haha yes I am an architect, and you?
Me: I am an urban planner, would you say Architecture is your passion?
Her: oh really, where did you study? I have other passions also Haha, and you?
Me: I studied at Drexel, that's a cute smile on your picture(her WhatsApp profile picture), I have other passions as well

Then silence, I have not had the opportunity to text her in two days, how do I restart conversation to lead to a potential date? And is it really worth going back to Montreal since logistics aren't in my favor, I was thinking coffee shop close to the museum, also considering she might flake.

Thanks for any insight

If she ignored that message she's basically a next. If you happen to be in Montreal for another occasion (not just for her obviously) you could send her a simple restart text like: I'm back in Montreal, having drinks at X bar. You should join.

I'm trying a text strategy with my long distance LTR as she has been going a bit colder recently. I've been talking nearly every day for a while but now I've been radio silent for 5 days, she has changed her pic plus her status to: "I hope it never ends" but she has not initiated contact. Do I continue going radio silent until she messages first or do I message her first? If she asks why I haven't been talking what do I say?

Mikestar, have you forgotten what I'd written in the very thread you started about that girl from long time ago? Re-read it and all kind advice forum members gave you. If you're panicking about a girl changing her whatsapp picture, I'll tell you one thing only - you're toast.

@AneroidOcean Thanks man, i used your first text suggestion and it opened up the conversation well. We chit chat a bit and i decided to ask her for a 2nd time if she's free tonight (previously asked about last weekend).

She sent me a text saying "Sorry im answering so late, i've been busy and also got plans tonight! But we really do have to find a day soon, it's been way too long!"

My plan is to not ask again, and instead have her initiate whenever she's free. I answered her very short, "fair enough, text me whenever you're free again".

My question is, when she initiates contact again and texts me asking to hang out, is it a good idea to run some dread? Either ignore her text or Telling her "Sorry im busy" or "can't tonight". Then wait a few days again and hit her up. I want her to be thinking "what's he doing, whats he up to? did he meet somebody else? did he lose interest because of my unavailability?"