Post: #176

(07-31-2015 04:54 PM)Gixxy Wrote:  I just got this... There has been much banter between her and I, but it's getting increasingly more shit testy...

Her (40, 6.5, met on Tinder): I'm not looking for serious or forever here, but meeting nice people is goal. Let me ask you, If you aren't looking for a sincere connection, even just a friend, why suggest drinks to anyone? Merely a hookup avenue?

Me: Because it's a good avenue to meet people and talk about common interests and get to know someone in a non-threatening environment without a lot of pressure? I feel like you should know why people meet for drinks on a first meeting.... ?

Your text response has a lot of question marks "?" As if you're supplicating and seeking approval by asking her it if's "okay" and "please understand what I'm asking you or saying here in my text"

Make flat statements. Would James Bond respond with approval seeking questions?

Like Noir said, you fell into her frame a bit. You don't have to be a dick but the man says it like he means it and doesn't worry if she gets "offended".

Post: #177

(08-01-2015 03:30 AM)Noir Wrote:  Lame answer, you fell into her frame and qualified. Older women appreciate direct, honest approaches, don't dilly-dally and go around the actual fact.

Thanks for the reply. Can you give me an example of how you would frame a response, please?

(08-02-2015 09:39 AM)robreke Wrote:  Your text response has a lot of question marks "?" As if you're supplicating and seeking approval by asking her it if's "okay" and "please understand what I'm asking you or saying here in my text"

It's interesting that you see it this way. The question mark, in my mind, was me trying to come across as "You should know this basic shit, lady." I was trying to be slightly off-putting.

Can you give me an example of a response that you would use in the situation?

Post: #178

(08-03-2015 10:08 AM)Gixxy Wrote:  

(08-01-2015 03:30 AM)Noir Wrote:  Lame answer, you fell into her frame and qualified. Older women appreciate direct, honest approaches, don't dilly-dally and go around the actual fact.

Thanks for the reply. Can you give me an example of how you would frame a response, please?

(08-02-2015 09:39 AM)robreke Wrote:  Your text response has a lot of question marks "?" As if you're supplicating and seeking approval by asking her it if's "okay" and "please understand what I'm asking you or saying here in my text"

It's interesting that you see it this way. The question mark, in my mind, was me trying to come across as "You should know this basic shit, lady." I was trying to be slightly off-putting.

Can you give me an example of a response that you would use in the situation?

She says "I'm not looking for serious or forever here, but meeting nice people is goal."

Bullshit, yes she is

This is a case of knowing your audience. A 40 yo woman's hamster spins a whole lot differently than that of a 20 somethings. Single at 40 means she's either divorced (most likely if she's attractive) or been on the carousel for decades. Either way, if they aren't just looking to get laid then they have a "hair trigger" when they even suspect a guy is just trying to pump and dump. In fact there's a point when (usually realization that they smacked the wall) they already come in ASSUMING that EVERY guy is full of shit. Their shit tests are to sus the players out from the "good guys" which is what they are looking for now.

Noir Wrote:Older women appreciate direct, honest approaches, don't dilly-dally and go around the actual fact.

Bingo

Id go with something like: "Meeting for drinks is the only way I know to determine whether two people have a connection or not. I dont have time for other games"

Suited to your own style of course but you get the idea

Post: #179

^ Man is that the truth! I for one love banging 40 something women who take care of themselves and have tight bodies still but they fall into distinct camps. Those who are husband shopping and have no time for fun, foolishness or anything else that we enjoy about dating. It's all business and they put just as much due diligence in as an attorney would going over a contract.

The other group are those who are divorced, likely have older kids and feel like they missed out on the carousel years. This is their time to have fun and make up for lost time. Those are the ones that can be a ton of fun and some of the best sex you will ever have.

Post: #180

(07-31-2015 04:54 PM)Gixxy Wrote:  I just got this... There has been much banter between her and I, but it's getting increasingly more shit testy...

Her (40, 6.5, met on Tinder): I'm not looking for serious or forever here, but meeting nice people is goal. Let me ask you, If you aren't looking for a sincere connection, even just a friend, why suggest drinks to anyone? Merely a hookup avenue?

Me: Because it's a good avenue to meet people and talk about common interests and get to know someone in a non-threatening environment without a lot of pressure? I feel like you should know why people meet for drinks on a first meeting.... ?

You may be overthinking this by answering directly and in a clever way, but still within the boundaries and confines she first established. Throw her off, don't be scared to crack a joke. I would have replied like this:

Her: I'm not looking for serious or forever here, but meeting nice people is goal. Let me ask you, If you aren't looking for a sincere connection, even just a friend, why suggest drinks to anyone? Merely a hookup avenue?
You: No forever? My mom will be disappointed, let me break the news

- Never respond to questions like that directly, regain frame control in a lighthearted way.
- Drop the question marks. It suggests a lack of confidence and conviction.
- Better to be too bold than too timid.
- She's going to shovel shit at you. Shovel it right back, just not in the format she wants.

A text exchange of mine was featured on Chateau Heartiste (another great resource) which should give you some idea how to pass shit tests.

Post: #181

(07-31-2015 04:54 PM)Gixxy Wrote:  I just got this... There has been much banter between her and I, but it's getting increasingly more shit testy...

Her (40, 6.5, met on Tinder): I'm not looking for serious or forever here, but meeting nice people is goal. Let me ask you, If you aren't looking for a sincere connection, even just a friend, why suggest drinks to anyone? Merely a hookup avenue?

As she is 40:

the more direct/her frame answers should you REALLY want to go for this:
- Yes
- Yes, you seem fun
- Why not?

I wouldn't really bother jumping hoops or putting up with all these online shit tests from a 40 year old 6.5

a bit more what you should be saying: (suited for the younger girls)
- depends, are you a good xyz? (qualify)
- maybe, how do i know you are not a serial killer? (re-frame, playful)
- i am a closet alcoholic who has been banished by his friends and i am here to find drinking buddies. (playful)
- i am actually looking for my future wife and based on my excel sheet, you are a match (downright trolling)

The only reason is because she is 40, she is on there for one thing.

If you really want to be challenging 'what is a 40 year old like you using technology like this?'


But honestly, just a 'yes' and that's it. I am not here to waste time and make friends, especially on Tinder.

Post: #182

A shit test I get often is girls saying "Yeah I don't remember alot from last night..." or some variant of that, when we ended up at least making out at the venue, sometimes further but I couldn't pull for the notch due to logistics or what not. As it's the summer I'm getting loads of numbers and this is happening more and more. Are experiences with me just forgettable? haha clearly these bitches remember, I just don't know how to handle it, I usually just ignore that they even said that but so far I'm realizing this has happened 5 or 6 times in the last couple months and I only got 1 to meet up again after so clearly I'm not handling this right. Any insight?

Post: #183

(08-03-2015 12:45 PM)Blick Mang Wrote:  A text exchange of mine was featured on Chateau Heartiste (another great resource) which should give you some idea how to pass shit tests.

Bahahah dude well played. Can´t belive it´s so simple often times.

Edit:
Have to rep you up for this one.

Post: #184

Thanks for all of the replies. Good stuff. She fell through the cracks because I just didn't have the energy to power through the endless shit testing and need for validation. I've got a few others on the line but everything seems to be clicking along with them. But, I'm sure you'll see something here as text and shit testing are my weakest areas of my game. Thanks again, gents.

Post: #185

How about this one I received the other day: "What were you up to yesterday? With friends? What are they like?"

Post: #186

(08-17-2015 11:53 AM)XPQ21 Wrote:  How about this one I received the other day: "What were you up to yesterday? With friends? What are they like?"

Context?

Post: #187

(08-17-2015 11:53 AM)XPQ21 Wrote:  How about this one I received the other day: "What were you up to yesterday? With friends? What are they like?"

Yes mother they are nice people...

Post: #188

Got this one on VK from a girl I've been talking to.

Her- Can I ask you a small favour ?
CT- NO
Her- My friend Anna thinks I have no bf. And I want to make her jealous . Can you put a song on my wall ?
CT- tell her to FUCK OFF!
Her-
Her- (sends me the song)
CT- I won't be your boyfriend
Her- Please watch my songs . It's the first one

wtf, she is very persistent and i don't want to give in

Post: #189

(08-18-2015 05:52 AM)CamelToe Wrote:  Got this one on VK from a girl I've been talking to.

Her- Can I ask you a small favour ?
CT- NO
Her- My friend Anna thinks I have no bf. And I want to make her jealous . Can you put a song on my wall ?
CT- tell her to FUCK OFF!
Her-
Her- (sends me the song)
CT- I won't be your boyfriend
Her- Please watch my songs . It's the first one

wtf, she is very persistent and i don't want to give in

Hm. Too aggressive, IMO. Does she live near you? Maybe you should've tried to turn it around into a phone number/date suggestion. Low chance of success, but 1% is better than 0%.

You were right to be dismissive of this timewasting crap, but it's possible to be dismissive without being mean.

"VK" is some kind of Russian facebook?

Post: #190

^^^^^yeah it's russian FB

she has already agreed to visit me in Kiev when I am there next month.

Post: #191

(08-17-2015 04:10 PM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

(08-17-2015 11:53 AM)XPQ21 Wrote:  How about this one I received the other day: "What were you up to yesterday? With friends? What are they like?"

Context?

A woman I've got a date with next week - playing my role as clown until then I texted her some funny quip a friend of mine made relevant to our conversation. Then I was out for the rest of the afternoon/evening and she texted me but apparently I didn't respond in a timeframe she found desirable.

In response to the "what are your friends like" I actually did say something like Noir's response, haha. "They're pretty great, but I'm sure glad you're trying to keep me out of trouble."

I didn't acknowledge the second request. Asking probing questions to detail what I'm doing with my time before we even go on a date is actually sort of a red flag.

If the situation were reversed and I wanted a woman to keep me apprised of her activities like that (other than a casual "how's shit goin' today - there's a big difference in tone between that and the question above) she'd next you almost certainly.

Post: #192

I would have put a different song on her wall and said " done". Just to troll her a little.

Post: #193

I had a few instances where girls were saying shit like this:

"I'm not doing this anymore..."

"I'm not like that anymore..."

This is mostly from girls that are around 25 years old. Obviously, they were riding cock carousel and now they want to pretend that they are "good girls". I'm usually getting this when I'm trying to bounce to my place.

How to pass this?

Post: #194

So during the afternoon, smoking trees with the homies.
The conversation inexorably lead to women.

According to one of my boys
HB8+ in affluent areas are, upon being approached by a guy they deem "low value"
Are pulling out a new breed of nuclear shit-test

Upon approach, they swiftly hand a R5 coin (~ 0.50 $) to the guy.
Basically underlying assumption is to treat him as if he's some type of street beggar bum or a car guard.

Yes, this is being done.

Personally, I'd take the money & ask for more
Paper money or bust.
Agree & amplify.

Thoughts on any other good retorts?

Post: #195

Robbery

Broads love villains

WIA

Post: #196

I have a dark sense of humor and it can puts girls off.

Quote: "So why are you in Japan? To find a girl?"

Yes, I'm a hitman!

Post: #197

(08-18-2015 05:52 AM)CamelToe Wrote:  Got this one on VK from a girl I've been talking to.

Her- Can I ask you a small favour ?
CT- NO
Her- My friend Anna thinks I have no bf. And I want to make her jealous . Can you put a song on my wall ?
CT- tell her to FUCK OFF!
Her-
Her- (sends me the song)
CT- I won't be your boyfriend
Her- Please watch my songs . It's the first one

wtf, she is very persistent and i don't want to give in

Write to her: Ty dumaesh ty nashla besplatnye ushi?
- means you think you found free(as in beer) ears?

Post: #198

I described the situation here: /thread-21493-...pid1099964 but since it didn't get any attention let me mention it here as well cause her last email was a shit test. I responded that I wasn't looking for a "traditional" relationship, that she would have to come here to visit me (about 2 hour drive) and if she liked this we could meet for dinner or go on a hike some time.

She went silent afterwards (~3 days). I was too forward I believe. I think I can restart by asking why she was "lost in the forest" (mentioned on her profile), basically posing as a mentor as opposed to a partner (which I like actually). But I'm afraid that mentioning a date (just the idea) in my last email, at such an early stage might have given a thirsty vibe and it may be dead already. Any thoughts?

Post: #199

(08-19-2015 05:57 AM)ginatingles Wrote:  I had a few instances where girls were saying shit like this:

"I'm not doing this anymore..."

"I'm not like that anymore..."

This is mostly from girls that are around 25 years old. Obviously, they were riding cock carousel and now they want to pretend that they are "good girls". I'm usually getting this when I'm trying to bounce to my place.

How to pass this?

Feign complete ignorance: "Like what" with a slightly quizzical look on your face?

she'll say whatever. If it's denying she doesn't want to just 'hookup' etc...say something like:

"hey slow down, I'm just talking about having a drink and watching a little tv"

Then...do that at your place, escalate and game as usual.

Another one I've used to lure wary girls to my place is I'll say something like the above and add " look, I don't want to do anything that you're not comfortable with" while sincerely looking into her eyes.

When I say this, I am sincere because I don't want a girl to be uncomfortable ever. Thing is, they say these things because of their hamster and they have to convince themselves they're not sluts and throw out plausible deniability.

It's your job to give her that deniability and assure her that she's not a slut for coming home.

Many girls want to bang. From a biological level, they must throw out shit tests first and offer plausible deniability to get to the point where they're ready to bang. It's your job to pass the tests and get her there.

Post: #200

I got this one, more than once.
After some convo on messengger, okcupid etc.
Me: Ok gimme your number and i will call you later to arrange a meeting.
Her: Ok we can meet(ignoring my number request). Give me your number.
I know its not a big deal but seems like power play/ shit test from her.
How to play this one?
Give her my number straight away?