Post: #826

(12-31-2014 05:54 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Well I guess it's over. Lets close this thread out and go on to something bigger and better.

Mech, what could be bigger and better than a 1 year wagon?

Post: #827

(12-31-2014 09:38 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

(12-31-2014 05:54 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Well I guess it's over. Lets close this thread out and go on to something bigger and better.

Mech, what could be bigger and better than a 1 year wagon?

A 1-year bender.

Post: #828

(12-31-2014 09:29 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

(12-31-2014 05:38 PM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  I've been sober for over a month now, but this is my official post to sign up for the challenge. No alcohol until NYE 2015.

enderilluminatus, welcome aboard as of 1/1/2015, and hope to hear more from you on the thread over time.

I'm here to stay. I've also quit cannabis and caffeine in the last month. I just hit a year free of tobacco a few months ago. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up as a Mormon lol

Post: #829

I'm signing up as well - one year of total sobriety. My main temptation will probably be weed, so I will substitute in some prayer/meditation in an attempt to alter my consciousness in a healthier way.

Hang tight brothers.

Post: #830

Al Sahab, is January 1st your official start date?

Post: #831

(12-31-2014 10:05 PM)Soma Wrote:  

(12-31-2014 09:38 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

(12-31-2014 05:54 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Well I guess it's over. Lets close this thread out and go on to something bigger and better.

Mech, what could be bigger and better than a 1 year wagon?

A 1-year bender.

I think you're onto something. We could do it in shifts like in a relay race.

Post: #832

(01-01-2015 11:20 AM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Al Sahab, is January 1st your official start date?

Yes. Great thread by the way, much appreciated.

Post: #833

Alli, I remember a time when you used to say something useful every now and then.

Post: #834

We could call it the 12 step program and each member gets a month (Jan- Dec) to get loose and carry the torch. We'll start the "1 Year Bender Blog" and set up a gauntlet of unique social and bang challenges for each monthly member. This could be a great social experiment if you could keep a constant during each run. Probably gonna need sober members to act as handlers. This might go viral with some vids.

I'll break this down into smaller syllables when I get home for Festo to read.

Post: #835

(12-31-2014 07:10 PM)Kissinger2014 Wrote:  

(12-30-2014 01:32 AM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  I haven't checked into this thread for a while. I once professed enthusiasm for Beyond Border's suggestion for how to stop drinking altogether. He suggested a book by Allen Carr.

Anyway, last time I had alcohol was early October 2013. I was skimming the forums and it hit me I passed the one year mark without noticing it. I think I'm just going to keep going.

For those who wonder, what really helped me:
* I switched my social scene a lot. I avoid nightclubs. Instead I've been working out and am meeting women during the day
* Before hitting the bars (the few times I do), I drink a massive amount of water and eat a bunch. This way, I don't feel like drinking/eating at the bar and it helps a lot of with staying sober
* Read Allen Carr's book, some gems regarding why we drink and being aware of the fact that we often times use it to relax (replaced with working out, meditating, reading) or as a social crutch (honestly I enjoy deep conversations with a few people far more than I ever enjoyed a night going out)

Great job. My question is how do your dates work? I'm trying to cut down on my drinking (I don't want to cut cold turkey), but I picture dating and sleeping with women more challenging -- unless you are targeting only recovering alcoholics or super healthy vegans. What are your first dates like? If it is at a bar, will she drink and not you?

Also, the idea of stone cold sober sex the first time is alien to me. Yes, I know people have done it and still do it (look at Mormons), but it is just foreign to me.

Great question. Haha, I am vegan myself, but I haven't dated any vegans (just not that many around). Nor have I met any recovering alcoholics. I'm in my mid-20s and the girls I've dated were all younger than me. Not old enough to become alcoholics.

For first dates, I actually avoid bars. It took me a bit of trial and error to find things that work. For example, my very first date after giving up alcohol was meeting a girl at a coffee shop. It was boring, it was basically meeting at a bar with no alcohol. Now I try things that require moving around and we're able to have fun. For example, sometimes I'll actually take them to museums. Most women I've taken find it really fun. You better have some understanding of the exhibitions and be able to talk intelligently and in an entertaining way. Worse thing you can do is cite utterly boring facts. Something else I've done is gone canoeing in the spring/summer (two person canoe). There's a lake very close by my town. You can be really playful and splash water on her and make it into a game. I think women really like non-alcohol dates. I believe it's because they're so used to meeting up with guys at bars that it's refreshing. Also making the dates playful and fun really helps. Also, the past 2 girls I dated were 19 year olds, so without a fake I can't even take them to a bar. I will say that there have been girls who absolutely hated museums/canoeing. I think they really wanted to just get drunk. So there's definitely some hard misses.

Sex...I totally understand where you're coming from. Honestly to a certain extent, it's like having to relearn how to have sex. I'm definitely much bolder when I'm drunk (as are all guys). So I did wonder how I would be in bed stone cold sober. Would I hesitate, would I be nervous? Also being sober, you're much more aware of what's going on. There's a lot of conscious thinking going on. First few times felt awkward, but you get over it really quickly.

Post: #836

Lets be supportive of people in this challenge and not act like crabs in a bucket. Y'all could start a different thread for binge drinking.

Post: #837

(01-01-2015 05:11 PM)JoyStick Wrote:  Lets be supportive of people in this challenge and not act like crabs in a bucket. Y'all could start a different thread for binge drinking.

I honestly thought you guys were going to start drinking again today. The thread title is misleading. It sounded more like a 'let's do 100 approachs in 6 months and go back to normal routine' thread. Was just trying to add some humor and welcome ya'll back. Didn't realize this is an ongoing thing for some of you. My bad.

To contribute though, if you serious have a problem, I don't think a forum is going to help in the long run. Treating an addiction requires professional classes/ support. I know many that quit, but started back and the rubber band effect caused a lot of damage. Many schudule 4 alcoholics do this. At least look it up so you can identify why you quit. This is important. Don't let it hurt you in the long run. God bless and I'm here if you need advice. I've been on a 20 yr binge.

Post: #838

(01-01-2015 01:41 PM)Fisto Wrote:  Alli, I remember a time when you used to say something useful every now and then.

He's met too many members in person, we'll know he's copy/pasting if something intelligent gets posted.

Post: #839

I agree with him though about you guys just needing to learn how to drink instead of avoiding it

Post: #840

(01-01-2015 01:39 PM)Al Sahab Wrote:  

(01-01-2015 11:20 AM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Al Sahab, is January 1st your official start date?

Yes. Great thread by the way, much appreciated.

Thank you, and welcome aboard as of January 1, 2015. Hope to hear more from you on the thread.

Post: #841

(01-01-2015 06:53 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  I agree with him though about you guys just needing to learn how to drink instead of avoiding it

A lot of people have a problem with using substances in moderation. Personally I either want no booze or all the booze. The latter makes life impossible, the former simply adds anxiety that can be overcome.

Post: #842

(01-01-2015 07:02 PM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  

(01-01-2015 06:53 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  I agree with him though about you guys just needing to learn how to drink instead of avoiding it

A lot of people have a problem with using substances in moderation. Personally I either want no booze or all the booze. The latter makes life impossible, the former simply adds anxiety that can be overcome.

Yes so being able to overcome being the " all the booze" guy is something to brag about. Maybe even write a guide about?

Post: #843

The wagon thread will continue in 2015, as I noted in an earlier post:

(12-01-2014 10:00 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  A brief note.

I posted this thread exactly 1 year ago today. The response to it over time has exceeded all my expectations. I feel happy and privileged that this thread has changed the lives of some good men for the better -- and that it continues to do so.

Even though the thread title refers to the year 2014, I believe that there is great and lasting value in the experience contained in all the posts throughout the thread. So rather than turn over and start a new thread for the coming year, I feel it's best to keep this one going.

The 1 year drinking wagon challenge is extended to 2015 for those who would like to join -- or for those already on board who would like to remain.

I always welcome true hard drinkers like Mech and Ali posting on the thread, and I think they will gain some value from it over time as have many other guys.

Post: #844

Maybe the Lizard should start a 2015 thread.

Post: #845

(01-01-2015 07:09 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  The wagon thread will continue in 2015, as I noted in an earlier post:

(12-01-2014 10:00 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  A brief note.

I posted this thread exactly 1 year ago today. The response to it over time has exceeded all my expectations. I feel happy and privileged that this thread has changed the lives of some good men for the better -- and that it continues to do so.

Even though the thread title refers to the year 2014, I believe that there is great and lasting value in the experience contained in all the posts throughout the thread. So rather than turn over and start a new thread for the coming year, I feel it's best to keep this one going.

The 1 year drinking wagon challenge is extended to 2015 for those who would like to join -- or for those already on board who would like to remain.

I always welcome true hard drinkers like Mech and Ali posting on the thread, and I think they will gain some value from it over time as have many other guys.

What makes you think I'm a true hard drinker? Because I'm not afraid?

Post: #846

(01-01-2015 07:02 PM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  

(01-01-2015 06:53 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  I agree with him though about you guys just needing to learn how to drink instead of avoiding it

A lot of people have a problem with using substances in moderation. Personally I either want no booze or all the booze. The latter makes life impossible, the former simply adds anxiety that can be overcome.

You guys are missing the point. Being alpha means being in control. Not being able to handle a substance means you can't control your urges. Another temptation will come and you'll fall. This forum has plenty of don't threads.

No Fap

Don't Drink

No Porn.

You can't enjoy life without these things and if you can't handle these simple vises pussy will consume you till the end of days. Welcome to the big leagues gents.

Post: #847

^ Some real truth to that!

Post: #848

(01-01-2015 06:36 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

(01-01-2015 05:11 PM)JoyStick Wrote:  Lets be supportive of people in this challenge and not act like crabs in a bucket. Y'all could start a different thread for binge drinking.

I honestly thought you guys were going to start drinking again today. The thread title is misleading. It sounded more like a 'let's do 100 approachs in 6 months and go back to normal routine' thread. Was just trying to add some humor and welcome ya'll back. Didn't realize this is an ongoing thing for some of you. My bad.

To contribute though, if you serious have a problem, I don't think a forum is going to help in the long run. Treating an addiction requires professional classes/ support. I know many that quit, but started back and the rubber band effect caused a lot of damage. Many schudule 4 alcoholics do this. At least look it up so you can identify why you quit. This is important. Don't let it hurt you in the long run. God bless and I'm here if you need advice. I've been on a 20 yr binge.

This is more crabs-in-a-bucket mentality. Pretty much you're insinuating "I can't stay sober, so y'all won't be able to do it either."

Post: #849

Mech,

The true hard drinker loves and hates the idea of the wagon. He hates it because he knows it takes away the thing he loves best; and he loves it because he knows that he has gone to the well too deeply and too often, and that this has consequences.

Ali,

There is no false analogy that a drinker who knows he has to make a change will not cling to to make room for the idea of the sauce remaining in his life. He will even go so far as to pretend that it is the manly and honorable thing to do. Funny the lengths one goes to when one loves something not wisely but too well...

There is no analogy between the drinking wagon and between "no fap" and "no porn". The wagon stands on its own. And it has nothing to do with fear -- but it is all about what the hard drinker must do to "recapture the feeling of a natural thankfulness for the everyday and the relishing of simple things from the middle of life that drinking so insidiously blurs" as I wrote in the OP to the thread -- which may be an interesting post for guys to come back to at some point:

/thread-30625.html

Post: #850

(01-01-2015 07:15 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  This forum has plenty of don't threads.

No Fap

Don't Drink

No Porn.

You can't enjoy life without these things and if you can't handle these simple vises pussy will consume you till the end of days.

This is a pretty extreme statement.