(11-21-2018 10:27 AM)Snag87 Wrote:  Should I even bother to ask to see her when I arrive?

You can, but have backup plans in the event she flakes.

(11-21-2018 10:27 AM)Snag87 Wrote:  Should I even bother to ask to see her when I arrive?

Burn all the lead to the ground. Ask her but don't expect much out to it

A few weeks ago:

Me: Even if i don't participate you have a world class soigneur to support you

Girl: Aww! You’re sweet we should really meet

Me: I can come to Canada. Does week after next work for you? Can't this week cause my sister's birthday is coming

Girl: It’s hard to say because of worm work

Me: You always say that. If you want to meet we can

Girl: Yes but I only get my sched on Fridays for the week after

Me: Its up to you. It's a 6 hour drive so if you want to meet just let me know

I can understand why you're apprehensive in regards to meeting in person. Would you like to FaceTime or talk over the phone instead?

Girl: I’m not apprehensive.. It’s really a schedule thing

Me: O.K I understand ☺

Is there a thread where members can have their online dating profile critiqued?

(11-21-2018 04:32 PM)Snag87 Wrote:  A few weeks ago:

Me: Even if i don't participate you have a world class soigneur to support you

Girl: Aww! You’re sweet we should really meet

Me: I can come to Canada. Does week after next work for you? Can't this week cause my sister's birthday is coming

Girl: It’s hard to say because of worm work

Me: You always say that. If you want to meet we can

Girl: Yes but I only get my sched on Fridays for the week after

Me: Its up to you. It's a 6 hour drive so if you want to meet just let me know

I can understand why you're apprehensive in regards to meeting in person. Would you like to FaceTime or talk over the phone instead?

Girl: I’m not apprehensive.. It’s really a schedule thing

Me: O.K I understand ☺

1. You completely lose frame traveling for 6+ hours to meet a girl. This means you've put her on a pedestal in her mind and there's nothing less attractive to a girl than a doormat (or someone beneath her). Not ugly, not short, not fat, not smelly, NOTHING turns a girl off worse than a desparate guy.

2. Forget her.

3. Because you won't listen, the ONLY way this could've worked is if you'd flirted/teased her (instead of supplicated) and if you already had plans that put you in her area and you invited her to come meet up with you. Making plans to go 6+ hours to see a girl only is stupid. If you did business in the area or something like that it could make sense, but it's absolutely ludicrous to go 6+ hours to maybe go on a date with a girl.

Ok. Makes sense.

She still contacts me to chat, although nothing indicates she views our relationship as more than platonic. Cut off all contact?

I arrive in a few days. What should I text girl A?

(11-22-2018 07:14 PM)Snag87 Wrote:  I arrive in a few days. What should I text girl A?

Remington already summed it up here:

(11-20-2018 09:29 PM)Remington Wrote:  She never asked you any questions about yourself or left any of her responses open ended.

You'll be wasting your time. Put your energy into some other bird. In general, instagram game is fucking hard to differentiate yourself. I dont know your backstory with her, but if it started online, thats where it will end. Especially after such a sparkless exchange.

Run day game, build a connection with the girls you open, then go from there. This will be a much more efficient use of your time. Instagram game - where instagram is the initial point of contact - yields such small returns, it almost renders the whole exercise futile. There are exceptions of course (models, jacked studs, status players), but for most of us, its a waste of our energy.

As a rule of thumb, if her replies are not ending with question marks, or suggestions to meet, or resounding yes's to your offer to meet, then can that bitch. She has 50 other orbiters spitting the same game. All she's doing by reading and replying to your messages is getting her daily fix of validation.

It didn't start online. I used to patronize a business she worked at. It's very likely I'll see her in-person during my visit, so I suppose the optimal way to proceed is to ask her in person during my trip. Or, just do nothing and ignore her if I see her.

P.S thanks to all for the solid advice. Before I discovered this forum I was relying on my own devices or advice from female friends. Needless to say things weren't going well.

There's an 18 y/o I've been chatting with on FB and Instagram (I'm 31) I suggested meeting up and she said she was too busy with college. I stopped contacting her but she repeatedly messaged me until I responded... I don't believe she views me as more than a friend. How to proceed?

(11-23-2018 03:32 PM)Snag87 Wrote:  There's an 18 y/o I've been chatting with on FB and Instagram (I'm 31) I suggested meeting up and she said she was too busy with college. I stopped contacting her but she repeatedly messaged me until I responded... I don't believe she views me as more than a friend. How to proceed?

What is it you think makes her want you to be her friend?

Keep it simple. Tell her to join you for drinks, kino, escalate, make it sexual. If she views you as a friend she will stop you on one of these steps.

Re first girl reads were spot-on. Just messaged her

Me: Happy Thanksgiving! I'll be in Tampa Wednesday let's get Dinner Thursday or over the weekend

Her:
Those are all the days I work


Me: Don't worry about it. Maybe I'll see you around HQ. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving

2nd date - brought back to mine - had sex.

She asked to pay for takeaway when leaving,
I said don't worry about it, you can pay the next one.
She said: "Ooh that means you wanna see me again, thats good"

next day texting:
me: "Fun evening last night... can't stop thinking about that sexy little bum... Not getting any work done today, you're a bad influence young lady x"
her: " Yeah was good, glad I've had an impact x"

Day after that:

me: Craving something sweet and bad for me.
me: waffles later?

her: I've literally been eating chocolate all day
her: And I have loads of work to do before tomorrow, so not tonight

me: Ooh - 10 kudo points, gonna have to make it up to me

her: We shall have to see I don't have much time atm

Plan is to wait till Friday as she seems to be free on weekends and maybe restart her?

Shes cool to hang around with but I don't have any feelings or whatever. However, I'm so frustrated at not being able to make girls wanna see me after sex. I've slept with 5 girls now and only had a 2nd session with one of them. This girl also lives 5 min walk from my house, easiest logistics.
I just want to not have to fight an uphill battle and get some rhythm in my sex life for once.

^You're making yourself too available. It's cool that you already banged her, but now you're sounding over eager which might be turning her off.

Pump the breaks a little on the constant invites to bang. She may start to think that's all you want her to do with you (even though that's what you want).

Restart with something other than your desire to bang. Keep it light. If you want to continue seeing her, don't lay it on so thick.

When in doubt, go dark.

(11-26-2018 09:25 PM)Remington Wrote:  ^You're making yourself too available. It's cool that you already banged her, but now you're sounding over eager which might be turning her off.

Pump the breaks a little on the constant invites to bang. She may start to think that's all you want her to do with you (even though that's what you want).

Restart with something other than your desire to bang. Keep it light. If you want to continue seeing her, don't lay it on so thick.

I understand your point but also a little confused. My intend with first message was to "reassure" her that I wasn't going to bang and ignore in a flirty way as she hinted that thats what I was doing on the night.

With second message, I guess it does imply "lets bang". But I do prefer talking to people in person and many here suggest to use texting for logistics etc mainly. So by going light, do you mean like going back to talking about random topics before asking out?

(11-26-2018 10:23 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  When in doubt, go dark.

If she texts me first after few days or calls me out on it. How do you handle that? "Sorry I had lots of assignments due and was really busy"?
I guess calling her out that it was her who didn't offer an alternative time is a terrible idea.

^My fault, man. I misread part of your texts.

The first set of texts was alright. I would have said something like "had fun last night, we should do it again."

It shows that you enjoyed her company, and that you would like to see her again. It can imply sex and/or just hanging out, leave it for her to interpret.

I wouldn't have given the compliment thinking about her ass because I don't think she earns that validation until you bang her multiple times. That's just me though.

When I text women, I do it for logistics a majority of the time, but, if I'm bored, I'll text to keep the lead warm. I try to maintain comfort and build an even stronger connection so I know she won't flake the next time I want to see her.

Some people think texting should only be used for logistics. I disagree with that statement. Texting every once and a while helps keep the girls I talk to interested.

And when I mean keeping it light, it could be rehashing something you both talked about during your date. It'll show her that you actually paid attention to her babbling which will also win you points.

(11-27-2018 09:46 PM)Remington Wrote:  ^My fault, man. I misread part of your texts.

The first set of texts was alright. I would have said something like "had fun last night, we should do it again."

It shows that you enjoyed her company, and that you would like to see her again. It can imply sex and/or just hanging out, leave it for her to interpret.

I wouldn't have given the compliment thinking about her ass because I don't think she earns that validation until you bang her multiple times. That's just me though.

When I text women, I do it for logistics a majority of the time, but, if I'm bored, I'll text to keep the lead warm. I try to maintain comfort and build an even stronger connection so I know she won't flake the next time I want to see her.

Some people think texting should only be used for logistics. I disagree with that statement. Texting every once and a while helps keep the girls I talk to interested.

And when I mean keeping it light, it could be rehashing something you both talked about during your date. It'll show her that you actually paid attention to her babbling which will also win you points.

Cheers for the advice.

I do find it difficult to only text for logistics and so I feel i ocassionally do it too much because I get bored. It's not that I don't have other fun things in my life, but say I'm writing a boring university report, it becomes so easy to distract myself with txting.

Doing the no fap challenge as I've had performance anxiety as well and it makes me a bit desperate at times which doesn't help.

I'll text her lightly in a day or two and see if I can get something going.

Had second date on Wednesday. We were together in wellness sauna (she invited me to join her). I took her home by car and suggested we should go to her place together (haven´t banged yet). She said she thinks it´s too late and we both wake up early and that we can meet on weekend and we will have enough time for everything. (before, she was offered to join me to one event on Saturday, but she had arranged meeting with her friend and said me she will figure out if they can meet any other time and go with me,.. claiming she will let me know until friday)

Saturday evening me: Hi, how do you enjoy your evening? I´m just currently at the after party and will stay here some more time. What about meeting later this night and doing after party together?
Her: Hi Tom, sorry for not letting you know. 15 minutes ago I just got home from work I need to test some system, so it would be ready on Monday... I am not sure, if I will be free during this weekend.



What next?

If you haven't replied yet you've done well.

Ask did it all go well, And within the same text ask her out for a date at a specific time. If you like her, Open end the time to guage a response. If she doesn't bite, Atleast you know.

Well actually I did. I had few beers and even though I knew its bad move, I wrote her two word answer saying something like "have a patience".

I will call her tomorrow or maybe better the day after tomorrow. I will not suggest any specific time, because that could make me needy, if she really didn't have time. I like her a lot. I am used to not give a fuck about girls, but this one is really high quality. If I try enough, I usually spoil it.

Her: How’s your day?

Me: Great! Just finished skating, how about yourself?

Her: Ice skating? It’s alright I’m at work ??

Me: Of course! Sounds boring... Do you have anything exciting planned for this week?

Her: Lol well where I work there never seems to be a dull moment BUT I’d still rather be home haha. Saturday I believe I’m working. I have to put some Christmas gifts together for coworkers and get some homework done. Hbu?

Me: Playing to sample out light brewing company. You're welcome to come as long as you promise to look as cute in person

Her: When are you doing that?

Me: Thursday

Last text was Monday and no reply. Initiate again? Communion medium was Tinder if it matters

Re-initiate but Friday morning.
Your text game needs some help though .
1-Don't compliment about her physical appearance
2- It is recommended you don't start the compliments . If she started, then you do it.

I would it differently though. I like Krauseer style , very dominant .

I would say :
- I am going to XYZ at ABC time . Let's go together
or
I would say
Btw, We ( I and You ) are going to XYZ at ABC time. ( Very dominant, confident , you are assuming she is coming, you are not asking her to join.)

(12-03-2018 08:36 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  Well actually I did. I had few beers and even though I knew its bad move, I wrote her two word answer saying something like "have a patience".

I will call her tomorrow or maybe better the day after tomorrow. I will not suggest any specific time, because that could make me needy, if she really didn't have time. I like her a lot. I am used to not give a fuck about girls, but this one is really high quality. If I try enough, I usually spoil it.

Not really, Suggesting a certain time means you have busy schedule and this is the only time you are free.
If she isn't available at the time you suggest, she either will counter-offer(HI)
or she won't counter offer .
If she didn't counter offer, you go>>> no reply >> then re-initiate

Sounds good. What's the theory behind not complimenting women?