Ok here is one for the masters on here. I met this chick online very cute MILF 34 originally from Europe, hot sophisticated, dresses really nice. Heels dresses looks good. I am older than her. We hit it off on the phone. It was a strong connection for online. Did a little texting and she was lol and saying I was funny.

I did not carry it too far did not want to be a clown. She seemed to like sending me photos without me asking. She is proud of how she looks.We agreed to meetup when I got back in town. Schedules did not mesh. Couple of weeks later texted her again and she asked me to meet before I could ask her. Set a day and time for drinks. Once again schedules clashed more my fault than hers.

So then she is going out of the country for two weeks. Last text exchange was this. I know this is bad but tell me like it is:

Me: Lets meet up at 6:30 9:43 AM
Her: Sorry but this not going to work for me, the only time I was available was today at lunch the rest of the day I'm busy 11:12 AM
Me: Lol...we can do it another time... 7:07 PM
Her: Yes that is a good possibility... Friday I am leaving for (location)..I will be there for 2 weeks 8:44 PM
Me: (location)?... What kind of present are you bringing back to me? 9:19 PM
Her: Is yoga vacation 9:23 PM
Me: So that's how you get that tight little body...I meditate every day...(location) is a very spiritual place 9:29 PM

I know that last one is try hard. What would you guys do?

Then tonight a week after she should have gotten back I sent this:

Me: Hello cutie...how was your trip? 10:31 PM

How was this? It has been a couple of hours and no response. Not a big deal, but this chick is hot. And I am working on two other ones right now. I am new to this and learning.

You're doing well, just stop playing game and get her out in person. Throw out more than 1 day at once so there is a better chance fuckups don't happen. After a certain point stringing it out too long is going to ruin it.

(09-05-2014 11:09 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  Ok here is one for the masters on here. I met this chick online very cute MILF 34 originally from Europe, hot sophisticated, dresses really nice. Heels dresses looks good. I am older than her. We hit it off on the phone. It was a strong connection for online. Did a little texting and she was lol and saying I was funny.

I did not carry it too far did not want to be a clown. She seemed to like sending me photos without me asking. She is proud of how she looks.We agreed to meetup when I got back in town. Schedules did not mesh. Couple of weeks later texted her again and she asked me to meet before I could ask her. Set a day and time for drinks. Once again schedules clashed more my fault than hers.

So then she is going out of the country for two weeks. Last text exchange was this. I know this is bad but tell me like it is:

Me: Lets meet up at 6:30 9:43 AM
Her: Sorry but this not going to work for me, the only time I was available was today at lunch the rest of the day I'm busy 11:12 AM
Me: Lol...we can do it another time... 7:07 PM
Her: Yes that is a good possibility... Friday I am leaving for (location)..I will be there for 2 weeks 8:44 PM
Me: (location)?... What kind of present are you bringing back to me? 9:19 PM
Her: Is yoga vacation 9:23 PM
Me: So that's how you get that tight little body...I meditate every day...(location) is a very spiritual place 9:29 PM

I know that last one is try hard. What would you guys do?

Then tonight a week after she should have gotten back I sent this:

Me: Hello cutie...how was your trip? 10:31 PM

How was this? It has been a couple of hours and no response. Not a big deal, but this chick is hot. And I am working on two other ones right now. I am new to this and learning.

Fell off near the end.

It seems like she should have countered your offer to meet later in the evening sooner, so you could have got lunch together or something.

I'd just let it play out and go from there. If she doesn't get back to you, there are others out there probably better than her.

I still don't understand why you guys sweat this stuff. Do you really think it matters what you say if a girl really wants to see you? The bottom line is that a woman can and will change her mind based on her emotions which can be influenced by literally a million different factors of which you are only one of them. As long as you have been reasonable in your interaction with her that's all you can do. But don't expect them to be reasonable in return. If anything you can expect them to be quite unreasonable and flaky.

If a girl wants to see you she will help you to make that happen. If she doesn't then she won't and good luck under those circumstances. The moment you start second guessing yourself and micro-analyzing your text messages you are pretty much done. Because that will communicate neediness. And the one thing you cannot be with American women is needy.

If you have trouble seeing a girl I can promise you it has nothing to do with your text message "game" and everything to do with her value of you - which was established when you got her phone number. You also have no idea who you are competing against, which can change day by day. Ultimately you simply do not know enough about what is going on in her world to know why she is seeing you or not seeing you.

Guys thanks for the advice. I will do that. I am still learning this stuff. Does it come off as too needy? What is a good way to eliminate that?

Normally the pattern is a meet a woman usually online. Start the text conversation and set up a time to meet. Then there is a time lag in between when we first texted and we are to meet. I try to build attraction and keep interest going with more texting. Should I not do that? Just wait to the date and then escalate from there? What if the time lag is long a week or two weeks?

By the way Nomad I am going to be in Miami next week. I can meet up.

@reco2100 I don't much about online game because I don't use it but basically it's still the same. You have to establish and communicate value and then build rapport. This is much harder to do online. This is the where the "art" of communicating comes into play. There are a number of threads on here about online dating that you should look into. PM me when you are here.

(09-05-2014 01:32 AM)Valhalla Wrote:  getting shit tested left and right by this very conservative girl. saw a pic of me with some girl and she flips. got her naked last date. starts shit testing me asking if we're "dating" or not i pass all her tests. i ask her for a third date and she shit tests me saying she's too busy for me and she sends this wall of text. she likes me but thinks im some crazy badboy player, really i'm after her because she's ltr material.


how do I address this? I want another date. Currently I'm going radio silent.





I can sense the dread.

This girl likes you a lot and wants to date you, but she fears that you are going to pump and dump her. If you give her an aloof or asshole attitude in response to this she is going to blow you out.

Don't make the mistake of thinking this is a value shit test when it is actually a comfort shit test. Heartiste discussed the difference recently:

Quote:When a woman is seeking sexiness, her unrehearsed interrogation will take the form of value filters. The value shit test is a test for male aloofness, state control, abundance, coolness, and social acumen. When a woman is seeking security, she’ll prod for signals of attainability and seriousness. The comfort shit test is lethal to newbies because they don’t recognize it before it’s too late, and because this shit test can sound *exactly* like a value shit test. But the context in which it is delivered is everything.

What works to neutralize value shit tests won’t for comfort shit tests. For this reason, Agree and Amplify is not a good response to the latter. All that will accomplish is boxing yourself into the “entertainment monkey” cad caricature she can have fun with and then safely and without regret disengage from once the act bores her. The best Comfort Shit Test response alleviates a girl’s insecurity while strengthening emotional closeness.

Another example of a deceptively similar Value/Comfort shit test:

“I bet you’re a player.”

If you get this early on, it’s a value shit test. She secretly wants you to be a player who is loved by women. That’s male mate value. Your reply should adhere to the amused mastery format: “That’s what your mom said too. Strange.”

If she says this during a one-on-one moment of deep rapport, long after she’s dropped numerous indicators of romantic interest, then it’s a comfort shit test. Now would NOT be the time to escalate flirty tension. You want to release the tension, e.g., “I’m looking for someone I click with. I don’t think I’m different than you in that regard.”

Value shit tests tend to happen a lot with higher SMV girls who perceive themselves (at least initially) as out of your league. Comfort shit tests happen with lower SMV girls who fear you’ll use them for short-term sexual gratification, or with high SMV girls who experience a downward shift in their self-perception from the expert application of your SMV equalizing game.

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/06/1...hit-tests/

Text her that you want to meet her in person so you two can talk. When you meet you will have to walk a fine line- telling her that you like her and would like to try having a relationship with her but without coming across as a sappy beta. This is not easy. Think about what you want to say beforehand and maintain good demeanor and body language while you are talking to her. Don't act all playerish-she already see you as a player and you don't need to reinforce that at this point. Listen to her and try to build an emotional connection. You will know you are succeeding if you start feeling a warm vibe. She'll probably only give you this one chance. Good luck.

Meet a cute girl on the metro last friday, had a good chat for like 10 min. I text her on Tuesday. I normally wait 2 days but I forgot with labor day and whatnot.

Me: "Hey [name] its [my name] from the metro. How was your labor day?"

Silence.

Yesterday (friday) early afternoon I get a:

Girl: Good! Wbu?

(I'm guessing this means "what [a]bout you?" I don't keep up with textspeak)

Took nearly 3 full days to respond. My gut tells me: At work, bored, wanted an afternoon pick-me-up of attention and validation.

Forgot about it, have not responded yet.


Question for the vets: This is the most elapsed time ever for a response to me. How do you handle these broads?

or.....is it time for a dick pic?

Thanks a lot XY! I never knew that. I've likely encountered numerous comfort tests and completely missed them. I get the player thing from every women.

---


Any tips for how to talk to old numbers in your phone(2-3years) that basically no longer remember you. There are hot girls I'd like to restart things with.

I'm going to to with "i opened up my old phone and had you under name cute girl i i forgot where we met but all i remember was you were cute" I'll report back.

Nomad,

I disagree, new guys should sweat the details in text. They convey neediness all the time without knowing and text paragraphs.

Intermediate guys often try a little to hard to joke or impress over text which can backfire as being supplicating.

If you are a bit advanced certain timing and subtle word-smithing indeed can be the edge if she is texting you and Guy 2 and Guy 3 about who she will see tomorrow night.

It matters the less advanced you are and have more plates spinning but for beginners it is absolutely critical.

It sucks that the phone call is dead.

In 2011 I destroyed flakiness by building connections over phone calls.

No more.

As someone having gone from beginner text game to a bit more advanced it is day and night important without the power of a
phone call.

Sweat building your inner game and internal value. There are too many factors influencing a girl at any given moment in time that you are completely unaware of that sweating how she reacts to anything you say is recipe for a lot of emotional turmoil. If you are sweating what you are going to text a girl, you already care too much. I am not saying don't communicate in an intelligent manner but once you are doing that, that's basically all you can do. Communication must also adhere to the cardinal rule of never leading emotionally. You can't show more emotions than a girl in your communication with her.

In my experience, this kind of stuff rarely makes that much of difference anyway. It's like saying the kind of shirt you wear on any given night is going to make a big difference on whether you pick up women or not. As long as you dress reasonable well, what it's going to come down to is your inner game (frame) and how you convey that to people. How you view yourself (inner game) determines more than anything else how you communicate with people and it really doesn't matter if it's a phone call, text message, or anything else. You are going to sub-communicate your internal value regardless of how you communicate with a girl.

Steve Jabba talks about having standards and boundaries. Once you have them, then you communicate that. This is what I mean about not sweating what you say as long as you are being reasonable and respecting your own standards and boundaries.

(09-04-2014 02:08 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-04-2014 12:31 PM)simondice Wrote:  

(09-04-2014 11:42 AM)Donkey_Riding Wrote:  

(09-03-2014 09:58 PM)simondice Wrote:  I had a flake, the girl responded

" sorry I was definitely passed out "

How to go about it?

Two options:

1) Ignore. Radio silence for at least several days, then re-engage with a feeler text.

2) Assume the sale for another meetup. Start by teasing her for passing out--e.g. call her "grandma," "old lady" or "lightweight". Then say "You'll have to make it up to me" and tell her she has to buy the first round or cook you dinner or something. Shows that she has to work and frames her as chasing you.

I'm already thinking this one is beyond irreparable

RVF please give me the unfiltered version of how I fucked up, do not be gentle.

You sort of followed the advice you received, but it was poorly implemented. I'm going to break down what I see, but I'm sure others who have better text game can clarify further:

"It's fine" - Boom, your first two words excuse her from her forgetful/lazy to outright poor behaviour.

"I had fun anyway" - This is not a DHV. At best it comes off as neutral, but at worst it comes off as defensive/fake. It doesn't challenge her at all and worse it doesn't intrigue her.

"You can make it up with a free drink or a massage." - This is worse with how you started off the line, but I wouldn't ever call out how she can make it up to you until she asks or it comes up. Otherwise it just comes off as tryhard.

ALSO, the line was way too long. Look at the length of her replies and yours.

"This isn't a negotiation. Being sassy is not cute at all." - Too serious, will only add fuel to the fire instead of letting it die out or moving forward. I would've gone with silence, silence followed with "gay" or "unsubscribe," a wrong person text, or a neg-type thing that is somewhat vague such as "real cute."

"Demanding is more fun than it looks" - I actually initially thought this was poor but I think it was a rather good save. You actually gained a little frame since she then started on the defensive with "Yes but also not cute." You probably could've gone into logistics from there or started flirting. Your response was not horrible, but you definitely needed to get the conversation moving towards a more fun/exciting/interesting direction.

Remember, girls just want to have fun.

You think it's salvageable?
I was going to wait like a week to re engage, but I'm not hoping for much.

Think I may be encountering a flake here...

Had a 1st date for tea with a Match.com girl on Tuesday.
Texted each other with some witty banter Thurs night and Friday.
Called her Friday after work, talked for 8 minutes, chit-chat, asked if she wanted to meet me for Salsa dancing Saturday, she said she had a b-day party and "what other time are you available". We agreed to a Tuesday meet up.

Later Friday evening, she texts: "Shoot! I have my rommates birthday dinner on Tuesday."
Me: "Bummer."

Now, it's Saturday afternoon, I'm playing it cool and wondering how I can reach out to her again for one more try at setting up a date? What should I text next or should I try ringing her tomorrow (Sun)? Mention something about my Salsa dance studio party tonight?

So this HB 8.5-9 saw a pic of me on instagram, she hit up my homegirl up, said I was cute and wanted to meet up.

I ask for my friend for her number but she already gave mine to her.

That was thursday, today I hit my homegirl up about

my home girl: "(HB 8.5) said she wants to all hang out and meet you. She said she feels awkward texting you. So let's plan something."

I replied: do i always have to be the man ? give me her number I'll text her and set up time to meet up for a drink."

she said: "lol let's plan something! she insisted on hanging out in a group setting, what does your work week look like what are you doing today?"

I replied: "Weird, she afraid of the terrorist beard ? I work then workout. I'm busy a few nights this week, does she live in X (my city)?"

she said: "lmao ! No she's not scared, she's intrigued. She lives in X(my city) yes."

I want to choose my next words carefully.

I'm not sure if we all hang out in a "group setting" will I get friend zoned or not ?

I really want to push for the 1 on 1 meet up, BUT I also don't want to scare the cat either ?

What do you guys think ? Should I just say fuck it and hangout with the girls ? Then go for the 1 on 1 ?

OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)

I appreciate the input gents.

(09-06-2014 06:07 PM)simondice Wrote:  You think it's salvageable?
I was going to wait like a week to re engage, but I'm not hoping for much.

Doubt it's salvageable, but I'd attempt the re-engage just in case.

(09-07-2014 05:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  So this HB 8.5-9 saw a pic of me on instagram, she hit up my homegirl up, said I was cute and wanted to meet up.

I ask for my friend for her number but she already gave mine to her.

That was thursday, today I hit my homegirl up about

my home girl: "(HB 8.5) said she wants to all hang out and meet you. She said she feels awkward texting you. So let's plan something."

I replied: do i always have to be the man ? give me her number I'll text her and set up time to meet up for a drink."

she said: "lol let's plan something! she insisted on hanging out in a group setting, what does your work week look like what are you doing today?"

I replied: "Weird, she afraid of the terrorist beard ? I work then workout. I'm busy a few nights this week, does she live in X (my city)?"

she said: "lmao ! No she's not scared, she's intrigued. She lives in X(my city) yes."

I want to choose my next words carefully.

I'm not sure if we all hang out in a "group setting" will I get friend zoned or not ?

I really want to push for the 1 on 1 meet up, BUT I also don't want to scare the cat either ?

What do you guys think ? Should I just say fuck it and hangout with the girls ? Then go for the 1 on 1 ?

OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)

I appreciate the input gents.

I have no idea why you threw in the terrorist beard comment, seemed an odd time for a self-deprecating joke, but there you go.

I'd stick with your frame. "You girls are nerds! I don't have time for this cosmo stuff. I'll call her when I have her number and go from there. Like this, ___ ___ ____, see that wasn't too hard"

@kaotic, terrorist comment is fine.

Group date is good if- You are not confident in your 1 on 1, you haven't texted her yet.
1 on 1 will work if- You start texting her a bit first, make her comfortable then set up a meet.

Honestly from what you have said go for the group date and your homegirl will help you. You will not be friend zoned trust me, she already likes you.

(09-08-2014 08:54 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-07-2014 05:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  So this HB 8.5-9 saw a pic of me on instagram, she hit up my homegirl up, said I was cute and wanted to meet up.

I ask for my friend for her number but she already gave mine to her.

That was thursday, today I hit my homegirl up about

my home girl: "(HB 8.5) said she wants to all hang out and meet you. She said she feels awkward texting you. So let's plan something."

I replied: do i always have to be the man ? give me her number I'll text her and set up time to meet up for a drink."

she said: "lol let's plan something! she insisted on hanging out in a group setting, what does your work week look like what are you doing today?"

I replied: "Weird, she afraid of the terrorist beard ? I work then workout. I'm busy a few nights this week, does she live in X (my city)?"

she said: "lmao ! No she's not scared, she's intrigued. She lives in X(my city) yes."

I want to choose my next words carefully.

I'm not sure if we all hang out in a "group setting" will I get friend zoned or not ?

I really want to push for the 1 on 1 meet up, BUT I also don't want to scare the cat either ?

What do you guys think ? Should I just say fuck it and hangout with the girls ? Then go for the 1 on 1 ?

OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)

I appreciate the input gents.

I have no idea why you threw in the terrorist beard comment, seemed an odd time for a self-deprecating joke, but there you go.

I'd stick with your frame. "You girls are nerds! I don't have time for this cosmo stuff. I'll call her when I have her number and go from there. Like this, ___ ___ ____, see that wasn't too hard"

I said something similar like this right now, then my homegirl isn't helping me out saying, "I told ya she wants to casually hang out before she texts apparently. I already gave her your number, what are you doing this weekend?"

Honestly now, it's not worth my time if we have to play games, I have a feeling it's because she's been hurt alot, or it's because she has kids.

I don't give a fuck at this point, we can all hangout when I feel like going out.

I'm putting minimum effort into this lead.

Third txt from the girl

I hope I'm not coming on too strong
But we should elope


What should i say

(09-09-2014 01:39 PM)Valhalla Wrote:  Third txt from the girl

I hope I'm not coming on too strong
But we should elope


What should i say

"vegas baby!"
(all lower case)




simondice, I don't really think yours is salvageable. In the future, when a chick sends you a flakey or bitchy text, either ignore it or just write "k" and ignore her until she messages you again with a better attitude.

(09-07-2014 05:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)

Unless you're in a country where it's common to hang out in group settings first (e.g. I think Roosh said this is the case for Iceland), I would not agree to a group meeting.

If you're in the US, girls should have no problem with one-on-one first dates in public venues. The fact that she is getting her friend to contact you to set up a group meeting is frankly ridiculous. Don't cave to their frame. It's needier to put up with them orchestrating such a cockblocking situation (you can't escalate with her friend around).

Meet her one-on-one or not at all. Pos reply: "Tell your friend I don't do chaperones. She can text me herself"

I go "hey Im 6"5' which inclines me to arrange a time we can grab a drink and talk about how awesome life gets around 6"2'." (She mentions in her profile she's this tall)

She responds with : "haha yeah life gets pretty interesting in this atmosphere".

I'm thinking she's interested and hooked, but didn't quite go for the bait, is this just just ttle token resistance? Is she playing hard to get? I don't want this bitch to think I'm wondering why she didn't give me her number. Should I just proceed to spit game? Or is that risky via text?

Dude, the women over 6' on okc love super tall guys, you are in. Just proceed with logistics. "cool, meet me for drinks at xyz bar at sunday 8pm" or whatever fits your schedule. Better yet is to meet her at a cafe and bounce to a bar for a venue change. But you know all this already.

Recently I asked this young, attractive girl this question: "Have you ever met a guy you weren’t really attracted to and then you became attracted
to him because of his text messages?" Her answer: "No".