(08-02-2014 09:30 AM)robreke Wrote:  I was thinking of prefacing this last text offer which I'll send sometime next week to meet with something like: "Okay last chance..." or " thought I'd ask one last time...." instead of just " drinks later this week?" as I've basically already done twice.

If she says no the third time, I'll next her.

Mistake to do this? Thoughts?

Explicit ultimatums like this don't work with girls, it sounds butthurt which puts them off. The more you act like you don't care about a girl's response the more likely she is to give you a favorable one

Try once more then put her on your mass text list to be pinged occasionally

I will tell you what does sometimes work with nonresponsive girls-wait a few weeks or months then text her "deleted" or "unsubscribe". If a girl has any latent attraction to you at all, she hates the idea that you are dismissing her. They crave attention. It's not a high percentage move but I have kept interactions going and gotten a few bangs this way

Second approach of yesterday.

I made a decently strong impression but I met these girls on the street and for only a few minutes. They come into NYC a lot on the weekends and I want to invite them out to something I might be doing next weekend.

How to keep this 'warm' until then? Or should I just wait until the day before?

i mean i get compliments on my eyes quite a lot, but wtf

(08-02-2014 02:57 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

(08-02-2014 09:30 AM)robreke Wrote:  I was thinking of prefacing this last text offer which I'll send sometime next week to meet with something like: "Okay last chance..." or " thought I'd ask one last time...." instead of just " drinks later this week?" as I've basically already done twice.

If she says no the third time, I'll next her.

Mistake to do this? Thoughts?

Explicit ultimatums like this don't work with girls, it sounds butthurt which puts them off. The more you act like you don't care about a girl's response the more likely she is to give you a favorable one

Try once more then put her on your mass text list to be pinged occasionally

I will tell you what does sometimes work with nonresponsive girls-wait a few weeks or months then text her "deleted" or "unsubscribe". If a girl has any latent attraction to you at all, she hates the idea that you are dismissing her. They crave attention. It's not a high percentage move but I have kept interactions going and gotten a few bangs this way

text her "deleted" or "unsubscribe" : Like it. Will employ

Woah...not sure what to even to say in this situation.

I feel like this is a troll job, catfish, or spam.

I'm thinking of a good comeback.

"Mmm Idk I'm pretty damn good at that game"

"I'd hate for you to lose all your clothes"

"Let's find out, number?"

Thoughts gents ?

[attachment=20564]
[attachment=20565]

(08-05-2014 05:48 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Woah...not sure what to even to say in this situation.

I feel like this is a troll job, catfish, or spam.

I'm thinking of a good comeback.

"Mmm Idk I'm pretty damn good at that game"

"I'd hate for you to lose all your clothes"

"Let's find out, number?"

Thoughts gents ?

"I'm down. Your house or mine?"

Kaotic, how long have you been doing online?

I've been on many drink meetings and thousands of online conversations and the incidence of trolling and fake profile is very rare, at least in my area. Of course it happens but no reason to be too paranoid. Just use common sense-if your spider sense tingles check it out. Ask her for a spoon pic or other verification if you must.

There are women online who will get sexual very quickly and invite you straight to their place or come to yours with the open intent to have sex

Just number close her, do some cocky/funny /sexy via text and if it feels right set up a meeting

Here's my situation with a younger woman I picked up at whole foods. I've never talked to her before except once at a gym we used to work out at. We did kind of make eyes at each other on and off like 6 months ago at the gym. Finally, I see her in whole foods, chat her up and get her number. She seemed eager to give it to me. Here's how the texts ensued.

Within 30 minutes of getting her number on a Thursday:

Me: Hey, good luck with the beer. Nice to chat w you. Rob from whole foods ( she was supposedly buying beer for a friend's birthday party at whole foods ...I think she mentioned he was a guy)

Her (within 10 minutes ): Hey! Thanks!

I waited about 4 days until Monday evening:
Me: Hey. how was your weekend
Her: (nothing)

I figure one more text in a few days...maybe referencing something we talked about. She told me she takes naps at 3:00 some days as she had just woken up from a nap....something I thought I could reference. Will take any ideas.

I read a line from CH lately as a restarter after she radio silences:

made you look

Short sweet fun text maybe it will bring her out of silence.

(08-05-2014 09:37 PM)robreke Wrote:  Here's my situation with a younger woman I picked up at whole foods. I've never talked to her before except once at a gym we used to work out at. We did kind of make eyes at each other on and off like 6 months ago at the gym. Finally, I see her in whole foods, chat her up and get her number. She seemed eager to give it to me. Here's how the texts ensued.

Within 30 minutes of getting her number on a Thursday:

Me: Hey, good luck with the beer. Nice to chat w you. Rob from whole foods ( she was supposedly buying beer for a friend's birthday party at whole foods ...I think she mentioned he was a guy)

Her (within 10 minutes ): Hey! Thanks!

I waited about 4 days until Monday evening:
Me: Hey. how was your weekend
Her: (nothing)

I figure one more text in a few days...maybe referencing something we talked about. She told me she takes naps at 3:00 some days as she had just woken up from a nap....something I thought I could reference. Will take any ideas.

Why did you wait four days to text her?

Yeah, people take the whole "you have to wait xx amount of time" thing way to serious. He should've followed up with a quick interesting convo or talk about meeting up.
The waiting part is to not seem eager and/or too available, but you don't have to turn the convo into something disconnected.

(08-05-2014 10:38 PM)Blaze Frazier Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 09:37 PM)robreke Wrote:  Here's my situation with a younger woman I picked up at whole foods. I've never talked to her before except once at a gym we used to work out at. We did kind of make eyes at each other on and off like 6 months ago at the gym. Finally, I see her in whole foods, chat her up and get her number. She seemed eager to give it to me. Here's how the texts ensued.

Within 30 minutes of getting her number on a Thursday:

Me: Hey, good luck with the beer. Nice to chat w you. Rob from whole foods ( she was supposedly buying beer for a friend's birthday party at whole foods ...I think she mentioned he was a guy)

Her (within 10 minutes ): Hey! Thanks!

I waited about 4 days until Monday evening:
Me: Hey. how was your weekend
Her: (nothing)

I figure one more text in a few days...maybe referencing something we talked about. She told me she takes naps at 3:00 some days as she had just woken up from a nap....something I thought I could reference. Will take any ideas.

Why did you wait four days to text her?

I didn't. I texted her within 30 minutes of first meeting her. That was a Thursday. So, then, I waited until over the weekend, because I actually was busy, to text her Monday evening about her weekend.

So, I texted her right away and got a response. I mean she shouldn't have forgot about me over 4 days. Do you think this is a mistake?

(08-05-2014 07:34 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Kaotic, how long have you been doing online?

I've been on many drink meetings and thousands of online conversations and the incidence of trolling and fake profile is very rare, at least in my area. Of course it happens but no reason to be too paranoid. Just use common sense-if your spider sense tingles check it out. Ask her for a spoon pic or other verification if you must.

There are women online who will get sexual very quickly and invite you straight to their place or come to yours with the open intent to have sex

Just number close her, do some cocky/funny /sexy via text and if it feels right set up a meeting

I've been doing online for a few years. Turns out it was a fake account. The account was either deleted by OKC, reported, or she blocked me. I'm willing to bet it was just a fake account.

If it's to good to be true, usually it is.

(08-05-2014 09:37 PM)robreke Wrote:  I waited about 4 days until Monday evening:
Me: Hey. how was your weekend
Her: (nothing)

I figure one more text in a few days...maybe referencing something we talked about. She told me she takes naps at 3:00 some days as she had just woken up from a nap....something I thought I could reference. Will take any ideas.

Your text is pretty boring, because it's asking her to do some work (type a bunch of stuff about her weekend), without giving her anything of value.

Better is to also make a statement about your life. For instance I recently used: "I stabbed my first oyster last weekend. how was yours?" This is still asking her to do some work and isn't that great, but at least I gave her something other than what every other guy texts her.

Even better would be to replace the "how was your weekend?" with something more challenging or fun. My initial text to the same girl above was

Me: I applied to be a broadway dancer on your behalf. We'll hear back this week. --Talekhine
Her: you better be signed up too!

...referencing that when we danced on the night we met, she kept doing these weird showgirls leg kicks. Again not the most amazing text, but it''s challenging (I'm being presumptuous) and unique without asking her to do work right away.

I met a chick off tinder, but she's a friend of a friend so I've met her a couple of times in real life as well. Back and forthed a bit and then got her number and asked her on a date on Monday, and she said:

'sounds good! But I might still be too sick to go out, let's figure it out on the day'

She's just gotten out of hospital today for some minor illness so the sickness thing wasn't totally out of the blue, but it definitely seems like she's pre-framing a flake. I was thinking my options were: pre-emptively flake and then try and reschedule in a few days, text her something that forces her to give me a definite yes or no, or just wait and see and text her on the day of. Any ideas?

(08-08-2014 05:59 AM)Arturo Belano Wrote:  I met a chick off tinder, but she's a friend of a friend so I've met her a couple of times in real life as well. Back and forthed a bit and then got her number and asked her on a date on Monday, and she said:

'sounds good! But I might still be too sick to go out, let's figure it out on the day'

She's just gotten out of hospital today for some minor illness so the sickness thing wasn't totally out of the blue, but it definitely seems like she's pre-framing a flake. I was thinking my options were: pre-emptively flake and then try and reschedule in a few days, text her something that forces her to give me a definite yes or no, or just wait and see and text her on the day of. Any ideas?

If she's already throwing excuses out, pre-flake on her. If she really is sick, do you want to meet her when she's 50-75% of her normal self ? I wouldn't, I'd like to see a 100% when she's healthy.

Frame the pre-flake and offer her another day later in the week, gauge her reaction, if she accepts or counters, that's good. If she comes up with more excuses, either next her or go radio silent on her for awhile and restart.

(08-06-2014 07:54 AM)robreke Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 10:38 PM)Blaze Frazier Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 09:37 PM)robreke Wrote:  Here's my situation with a younger woman I picked up at whole foods. I've never talked to her before except once at a gym we used to work out at. We did kind of make eyes at each other on and off like 6 months ago at the gym. Finally, I see her in whole foods, chat her up and get her number. She seemed eager to give it to me. Here's how the texts ensued.

Within 30 minutes of getting her number on a Thursday:

Me: Hey, good luck with the beer. Nice to chat w you. Rob from whole foods ( she was supposedly buying beer for a friend's birthday party at whole foods ...I think she mentioned he was a guy)

Her (within 10 minutes ): Hey! Thanks!

I waited about 4 days until Monday evening:
Me: Hey. how was your weekend
Her: (nothing)

I figure one more text in a few days...maybe referencing something we talked about. She told me she takes naps at 3:00 some days as she had just woken up from a nap....something I thought I could reference. Will take any ideas.

Why did you wait four days to text her?

I didn't. I texted her within 30 minutes of first meeting her. That was a Thursday. So, then, I waited until over the weekend, because I actually was busy, to text her Monday evening about her weekend.

So, I texted her right away and got a response. I mean she shouldn't have forgot about me over 4 days. Do you think this is a mistake?

Yes. You should have at least continued the conversation a little bit longer that first time to establish some kind of stronger rapport. She had no attachment to you after one text and four days wait. Chalk it up to the game.

I feel like this has been answered before, but here goes:
Following a text where she figured out that 30 by 30 meant 30 different goals to accomplish by the time I turn 30,
Me: You're smarter than the average bear
Her: Haha screw you
Me: Ha you wish you could
Her: Haha okay

It's late at night, I was thinking I'll just leave it there and wait until she texts me tomorrow, but am open to suggestions.

^Just let it ride. You're playing "don't fuck anything up" game at this point

Think I'm making some headway with a blond 8 I met when day gaming late afternoon one day.

Tried to get her out, but she was slow to respond and her it's been 3 weeks since we met. She wouldn't give me her number when we first met but instead gave me her Skype (?).

I thought it was going nowhere and she took forever to return my first Skype text but asked her out a couple weeks ago. She said she was busy at work both nights I referenced, so I wrote back "ok some other time" to which she replied "oh, yes that sounds good."

Today (about a week later) I text her saying "what's up, I'm back in town, nice weather etc." to which she replies (an hour and a half later) "Hello! Yes we're having nice weather! I am fine. How are you?"

(ok so she at least got back to me)

I write back (2 hours later): "Everything is great with me!"

(I purposely did not ask her out, as she knows I want to meet up given I already asked once, plus she's a solid 8 with a smoking body)

She immediately writes me back saying "Things are good. I am working now, waiting for my shift to end later (she seems to work late a lot). Want to sleep now very much, because I got up early today)))"

I have not responded and don't plan on it, but am taking the above as some sort of progress - she's tough this one, but seems to be at least somewhat interested.

Thinking in a couple days I will text something like "Hey so did you get some beauty sleep?) I'll be at X tomorrow why don't you stop by" etc.

Thoughts?

Context: HB7 I number closed at a clothing store. 3 nights later I initiated contact via text and she responded quickly. After some light banter I asked her what she does for fun.

Her response: "I do illegal things."

Clearly she is implying that she is a "bad girl," and I took it to mean specifically that she is a drug user/partier. It seems to me like there are many directions that one could go with this. I responded: "right on. all the great things in life are either illegal, immoral, or dangerous" to which she replied "exactly."

How would you guys have handled that one?

(08-20-2014 08:38 AM)Abraxas Wrote:  Context: HB7 I number closed at a clothing store. 3 nights later I initiated contact via text and she responded quickly. After some light banter I asked her what she does for fun.

Her response: "I do illegal things."

Clearly she is implying that she is a "bad girl," and I took it to mean specifically that she is a drug user/partier. It seems to me like there are many directions that one could go with this. I responded: "right on. all the great things in life are either illegal, immoral, or dangerous" to which she replied "exactly."

How would you guys have handled that one?

Seems to me like you're giving her too much validation on that. It would have been better for you to give a more ambiguous/probing reply to get her to explain herself so she is qualifying herself to you.

Other option: run with it and playfully describe an imaginative scenario, e.g. "cool, let's meet thur night and graffiti a bridge."

But the banter is probably irrelevant. You should just ask her out and she'll decide based on the impression you made on her when you met. Your question suggests that you see texting as a method of building rapport/attraction when you should be keeping it much more logistical.

(08-20-2014 08:38 AM)Abraxas Wrote:  Context: HB7 I number closed at a clothing store. 3 nights later I initiated contact via text and she responded quickly. After some light banter I asked her what she does for fun.

Her response: "I do illegal things."

Clearly she is implying that she is a "bad girl," and I took it to mean specifically that she is a drug user/partier. It seems to me like there are many directions that one could go with this. I responded: "right on. all the great things in life are either illegal, immoral, or dangerous" to which she replied "exactly."

How would you guys have handled that one?

Clearly she was trying to present herself as a badass to exert status over you. You made a mistake by playing into her frame and validating her.

Instead , you should have negged her to show you don't take her seriously

You let your parking meter run out? Such a badass!

You jaywalk huh so hardcore

I just called the FBI about your counterfeit purse

Etc....

(08-20-2014 12:31 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Clearly she was trying to present herself as a badass to exert status over you. You made a mistake by playing into her frame and validating her.

Instead , you should have negged her to show you don't take her seriously

Man, spot on analysis. Based on my experience with this girl so far that is exactly what she was doing.