Meet a cute girl on the metro last friday, had a good chat for like 10 min. I text her on Tuesday. I normally wait 2 days but I forgot with labor day and whatnot.
Me: "Hey [name] its [my name] from the metro. How was your labor day?"
Silence.
Yesterday (friday) early afternoon I get a:
Girl: Good! Wbu?
(I'm guessing this means "what [a]bout you?" I don't keep up with textspeak)
Took nearly 3 full days to respond. My gut tells me: At work, bored, wanted an afternoon pick-me-up of attention and validation.
Forgot about it, have not responded yet.
Question for the vets: This is the most elapsed time ever for a response to me. How do you handle these broads?
Thanks a lot XY! I never knew that. I've likely encountered numerous comfort tests and completely missed them. I get the player thing from every women.
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Any tips for how to talk to old numbers in your phone(2-3years) that basically no longer remember you. There are hot girls I'd like to restart things with.
I'm going to to with "i opened up my old phone and had you under name cute girl i i forgot where we met but all i remember was you were cute" I'll report back.
I disagree, new guys should sweat the details in text. They convey neediness all the time without knowing and text paragraphs.
Intermediate guys often try a little to hard to joke or impress over text which can backfire as being supplicating.
If you are a bit advanced certain timing and subtle word-smithing indeed can be the edge if she is texting you and Guy 2 and Guy 3 about who she will see tomorrow night.
It matters the less advanced you are and have more plates spinning but for beginners it is absolutely critical.
It sucks that the phone call is dead.
In 2011 I destroyed flakiness by building connections over phone calls.
No more.
As someone having gone from beginner text game to a bit more advanced it is day and night important without the power of a
phone call.
Sweat building your inner game and internal value. There are too many factors influencing a girl at any given moment in time that you are completely unaware of that sweating how she reacts to anything you say is recipe for a lot of emotional turmoil. If you are sweating what you are going to text a girl, you already care too much. I am not saying don't communicate in an intelligent manner but once you are doing that, that's basically all you can do. Communication must also adhere to the cardinal rule of never leading emotionally. You can't show more emotions than a girl in your communication with her.
In my experience, this kind of stuff rarely makes that much of difference anyway. It's like saying the kind of shirt you wear on any given night is going to make a big difference on whether you pick up women or not. As long as you dress reasonable well, what it's going to come down to is your inner game (frame) and how you convey that to people. How you view yourself (inner game) determines more than anything else how you communicate with people and it really doesn't matter if it's a phone call, text message, or anything else. You are going to sub-communicate your internal value regardless of how you communicate with a girl.
Steve Jabba talks about having standards and boundaries. Once you have them, then you communicate that. This is what I mean about not sweating what you say as long as you are being reasonable and respecting your own standards and boundaries.
(09-03-2014 09:58 PM)simondice Wrote: I had a flake, the girl responded
" sorry I was definitely passed out "
How to go about it?
Two options:
1) Ignore. Radio silence for at least several days, then re-engage with a feeler text.
2) Assume the sale for another meetup. Start by teasing her for passing out--e.g. call her "grandma," "old lady" or "lightweight". Then say "You'll have to make it up to me" and tell her she has to buy the first round or cook you dinner or something. Shows that she has to work and frames her as chasing you.
I'm already thinking this one is beyond irreparable
RVF please give me the unfiltered version of how I fucked up, do not be gentle.
You sort of followed the advice you received, but it was poorly implemented. I'm going to break down what I see, but I'm sure others who have better text game can clarify further:
"It's fine" - Boom, your first two words excuse her from her forgetful/lazy to outright poor behaviour.
"I had fun anyway" - This is not a DHV. At best it comes off as neutral, but at worst it comes off as defensive/fake. It doesn't challenge her at all and worse it doesn't intrigue her.
"You can make it up with a free drink or a massage." - This is worse with how you started off the line, but I wouldn't ever call out how she can make it up to you until she asks or it comes up. Otherwise it just comes off as tryhard.
ALSO, the line was way too long. Look at the length of her replies and yours.
"This isn't a negotiation. Being sassy is not cute at all." - Too serious, will only add fuel to the fire instead of letting it die out or moving forward. I would've gone with silence, silence followed with "gay" or "unsubscribe," a wrong person text, or a neg-type thing that is somewhat vague such as "real cute."
"Demanding is more fun than it looks" - I actually initially thought this was poor but I think it was a rather good save. You actually gained a little frame since she then started on the defensive with "Yes but also not cute." You probably could've gone into logistics from there or started flirting. Your response was not horrible, but you definitely needed to get the conversation moving towards a more fun/exciting/interesting direction.
Remember, girls just want to have fun.
You think it's salvageable?
I was going to wait like a week to re engage, but I'm not hoping for much.
Had a 1st date for tea with a Match.com girl on Tuesday.
Texted each other with some witty banter Thurs night and Friday.
Called her Friday after work, talked for 8 minutes, chit-chat, asked if she wanted to meet me for Salsa dancing Saturday, she said she had a b-day party and "what other time are you available". We agreed to a Tuesday meet up.
Later Friday evening, she texts: "Shoot! I have my rommates birthday dinner on Tuesday."
Me: "Bummer."
Now, it's Saturday afternoon, I'm playing it cool and wondering how I can reach out to her again for one more try at setting up a date? What should I text next or should I try ringing her tomorrow (Sun)? Mention something about my Salsa dance studio party tonight?
(09-07-2014 05:09 PM)kaotic Wrote: So this HB 8.5-9 saw a pic of me on instagram, she hit up my homegirl up, said I was cute and wanted to meet up.
I ask for my friend for her number but she already gave mine to her.
That was thursday, today I hit my homegirl up about
my home girl: "(HB 8.5) said she wants to all hang out and meet you. She said she feels awkward texting you. So let's plan something."
I replied: do i always have to be the man ? give me her number I'll text her and set up time to meet up for a drink."
she said: "lol let's plan something! she insisted on hanging out in a group setting, what does your work week look like what are you doing today?"
I replied: "Weird, she afraid of the terrorist beard ? I work then workout. I'm busy a few nights this week, does she live in X (my city)?"
she said: "lmao ! No she's not scared, she's intrigued. She lives in X(my city) yes."
I want to choose my next words carefully.
I'm not sure if we all hang out in a "group setting" will I get friend zoned or not ?
I really want to push for the 1 on 1 meet up, BUT I also don't want to scare the cat either ?
What do you guys think ? Should I just say fuck it and hangout with the girls ? Then go for the 1 on 1 ?
OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)
I appreciate the input gents.
I have no idea why you threw in the terrorist beard comment, seemed an odd time for a self-deprecating joke, but there you go.
I'd stick with your frame. "You girls are nerds! I don't have time for this cosmo stuff. I'll call her when I have her number and go from there. Like this, ___ ___ ____, see that wasn't too hard"
Group date is good if- You are not confident in your 1 on 1, you haven't texted her yet.
1 on 1 will work if- You start texting her a bit first, make her comfortable then set up a meet.
Honestly from what you have said go for the group date and your homegirl will help you. You will not be friend zoned trust me, she already likes you.
(09-07-2014 05:09 PM)kaotic Wrote: So this HB 8.5-9 saw a pic of me on instagram, she hit up my homegirl up, said I was cute and wanted to meet up.
I ask for my friend for her number but she already gave mine to her.
That was thursday, today I hit my homegirl up about
my home girl: "(HB 8.5) said she wants to all hang out and meet you. She said she feels awkward texting you. So let's plan something."
I replied: do i always have to be the man ? give me her number I'll text her and set up time to meet up for a drink."
she said: "lol let's plan something! she insisted on hanging out in a group setting, what does your work week look like what are you doing today?"
I replied: "Weird, she afraid of the terrorist beard ? I work then workout. I'm busy a few nights this week, does she live in X (my city)?"
she said: "lmao ! No she's not scared, she's intrigued. She lives in X(my city) yes."
I want to choose my next words carefully.
I'm not sure if we all hang out in a "group setting" will I get friend zoned or not ?
I really want to push for the 1 on 1 meet up, BUT I also don't want to scare the cat either ?
What do you guys think ? Should I just say fuck it and hangout with the girls ? Then go for the 1 on 1 ?
OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)
I appreciate the input gents.
I have no idea why you threw in the terrorist beard comment, seemed an odd time for a self-deprecating joke, but there you go.
I'd stick with your frame. "You girls are nerds! I don't have time for this cosmo stuff. I'll call her when I have her number and go from there. Like this, ___ ___ ____, see that wasn't too hard"
I said something similar like this right now, then my homegirl isn't helping me out saying, "I told ya she wants to casually hang out before she texts apparently. I already gave her your number, what are you doing this weekend?"
Honestly now, it's not worth my time if we have to play games, I have a feeling it's because she's been hurt alot, or it's because she has kids.
I don't give a fuck at this point, we can all hangout when I feel like going out.
(09-09-2014 01:39 PM)Valhalla Wrote: Third txt from the girl
I hope I'm not coming on too strong
But we should elope
What should i say
"vegas baby!"
(all lower case)
simondice, I don't really think yours is salvageable. In the future, when a chick sends you a flakey or bitchy text, either ignore it or just write "k" and ignore her until she messages you again with a better attitude.
(09-07-2014 05:09 PM)kaotic Wrote: OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)
Unless you're in a country where it's common to hang out in group settings first (e.g. I think Roosh said this is the case for Iceland), I would not agree to a group meeting.
If you're in the US, girls should have no problem with one-on-one first dates in public venues. The fact that she is getting her friend to contact you to set up a group meeting is frankly ridiculous. Don't cave to their frame. It's needier to put up with them orchestrating such a cockblocking situation (you can't escalate with her friend around).
Meet her one-on-one or not at all. Pos reply: "Tell your friend I don't do chaperones. She can text me herself"
I go "hey Im 6"5' which inclines me to arrange a time we can grab a drink and talk about how awesome life gets around 6"2'." (She mentions in her profile she's this tall)
She responds with : "haha yeah life gets pretty interesting in this atmosphere".
I'm thinking she's interested and hooked, but didn't quite go for the bait, is this just just ttle token resistance? Is she playing hard to get? I don't want this bitch to think I'm wondering why she didn't give me her number. Should I just proceed to spit game? Or is that risky via text?
Dude, the women over 6' on okc love super tall guys, you are in. Just proceed with logistics. "cool, meet me for drinks at xyz bar at sunday 8pm" or whatever fits your schedule. Better yet is to meet her at a cafe and bounce to a bar for a venue change. But you know all this already.
Recently I asked this young, attractive girl this question: "Have you ever met a guy you weren鈥檛 really attracted to and then you became attracted
to him because of his text messages?" Her answer: "No".
(09-07-2014 05:09 PM)kaotic Wrote: OR Should I push for her number and go for the 1 on 1 ? (I feel like this might look a little thirsty on my part)
Unless you're in a country where it's common to hang out in group settings first (e.g. I think Roosh said this is the case for Iceland), I would not agree to a group meeting.
If you're in the US, girls should have no problem with one-on-one first dates in public venues. The fact that she is getting her friend to contact you to set up a group meeting is frankly ridiculous. Don't cave to their frame. It's needier to put up with them orchestrating such a cockblocking situation (you can't escalate with her friend around).
Meet her one-on-one or not at all. Pos reply: "Tell your friend I don't do chaperones. She can text me herself"
Fuck I should've read this earlier. I setup a plan to meet up on Thursday, that's the bad new.
The good new is: It'd be a double date with my buddy that my home girl is dating. So it's technically not a group thing, if the plans fall through, I'll then use that line.
The only reason I'm even thinking of this shit is cause she's a 9, knocked down to an 8 because of children.
(09-10-2014 10:13 AM)Nomad77 Wrote: Recently I asked this young, attractive girl this question: "Have you ever met a guy you weren鈥檛 really attracted to and then you became attracted
to him because of his text messages?" Her answer: "No".
This is one of those comments that may at first seem helpful and yet is anything but.
First, I'm not sure why a woman's opinion on how she's attracted means anything. This has been covered at great length. Only actions have significant meaning.
Second, the thread is to try to help guys out of a spot where they're not sure how to respond. It's not intended for guys to necessarily attract a girl that is not attracted to them, but rather not land in the friend zone and not LOSE what attraction they have established.
Backstory she had a picture of herself and two buff dudes.
Me: Do you like meat heads because you can easily outsmart them?
Her: Who is to say I like meatheads? Lol or is this some joke I'm not getting.
Me: oh I was just baselessly judging you by your photos.
What do you look for in your men?
Her: Haha I like smart, funy, laid back guys
Me: Well you're a picky one.
Do you prefer your humor dry or wet?
Her: Dry. Though I don't think anyone says wet humor haha. Do you live in (city)
So on my next response what I'm kind of thinking as of now is:
wet humor is a complicated thing but it's mainly about the sensation you receive from the humor of the guy you're with.
Or something along those lines. Or just keep it somewhat classy and escalate later.
(09-16-2014 05:46 PM)Sharkey Wrote: Tinder conversation: girl is a 9.
Backstory she had a picture of herself and two buff dudes.
Me: Do you like meat heads because you can easily outsmart them?
Her: Who is to say I like meatheads? Lol or is this some joke I'm not getting.
Me: oh I was just baselessly judging you by your photos.
What do you look for in your men?
Her: Haha I like smart, funy, laid back guys
Me: Well you're a picky one.
Do you prefer your humor dry or wet?
Her: Dry. Though I don't think anyone says wet humor haha. Do you live in (city)
So on my next response what I'm kind of thinking as of now is:
wet humor is a complicated thing but it's mainly about the sensation you receive from the humor of the guy you're with.
Or something along those lines. Or just keep it somewhat classy and escalate later.
I get the feeling that layering much more humor on top of this will make her interest peter out. I'd transition into logistics as she already green lighted you (she started the segue way asking if you live in her city). Doesn't mean you have to go straight to dry logistics, but you should transition from the humor soon/now.
Oh, and if you wanted to continue the vein of humor, my instant reaction to the dry/wet thing is to keep it double-entendre and go for the "wet humor is when it's dripping with sarcasm or..."
I've been trying to nail down a date with this MD chick for several days:
Her: Hi, how has your week been? Finally finished my string of nights! I hope everthing is well. Let me know if ever are free and want to try meeting again.
Me: Hi. Congratulations on getting through your shifts! I've been fairly busy myself, helped my brother move to a new place and went to Michigan this weekend. What else have you been up to?
Her: Great! The weather has gotten chillier. Weekend was good. Hope your brothers move went well
Me: Good, good. Cooler temps indeed. So what does your schedule look like this week?
Her: Not bad so far, but I start the intensive care unit on Friday. With the virus that's going around, the hospitals are already at capacity!
???? She's not giving me anything to work with. Should I just take a stab and ask her to come to X and do Y with me next Wednesday, or something?