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The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)

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billyb · 2017-06-23 09:38:00 · #2983
thanks, you guys rock. great suggestions
endless11 · 2017-06-23 20:58:00 · #2984
(06-23-2017 05:19 AM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  
(06-22-2017 08:41 PM)endless11 Wrote:  I'm stuck. Cutie i met at a work event and we exchanged numbers.

what do you respond to

"Someone told me you asked about me"

i probably did but i don't remember.

i'm thinking

"thats cool. probably. lets grab a drink this weekend"

"who is this?" (if you think you can pull off the obviously fucking with her followup)

"creep creep creep!"

"dork, just say hi"

i went with

"had to make sure you weren't crazy. lets grab a drink saturday"

she obliged. thanks for suggestion!
AneroidOcean · 2017-06-23 21:36:00 · #2985
(06-23-2017 08:58 PM)endless11 Wrote:  i went with

"had to make sure you weren't crazy. lets grab a drink saturday"

she obliged. thanks for suggestion!

Little long, but spot on answer. Sort of follows her frame but throws shit on her and goes direct to getting a date.

Well done. A lot of the time I feel like guys come on this thread asking for advice and I can give them a "good enough" answer but in many cases they can either find a better answer from others in the past or come up with an even better/relevant one themselves if they study this thread long enough (tons of gold in here).
TornadoByProxy · 2017-06-23 21:56:00 · #2986
Agreed Aneroid. Guys need to learn the theory of texting, not just the words to send. That's why I try to contribute on this thread when I can. It gives me a chance to practice a multitude of scenarios.
billyb · 2017-06-24 00:30:00 · #2987
followup, I texted "no worries". a few hours later she comes back with "Hey, how is your day going?"

Game on!

(06-23-2017 07:58 AM)Remington Wrote:  ^Abundance mentality is your friend. You don't need to say anything witty every time you respond to a girl. It's just a waste of time to try and figure something cool to say. If that happens to me, I usually say something like "gotcha" or "no worries." I leave it close ended to see if she will actually come back with something of more substance.

If she doesn't respond to that, you can always send a restart the next day.
Remington · 2017-06-24 09:39:00 · #2988
(06-24-2017 12:30 AM)billyb Wrote:  followup, I texted "no worries". a few hours later she comes back with "Hey, how is your day going?"

Game on!

(06-23-2017 07:58 AM)Remington Wrote:  ^Abundance mentality is your friend. You don't need to say anything witty every time you respond to a girl. It's just a waste of time to try and figure something cool to say. If that happens to me, I usually say something like "gotcha" or "no worries." I leave it close ended to see if she will actually come back with something of more substance.

If she doesn't respond to that, you can always send a restart the next day.

Good job. At least you know she still has interest. Now make that translate into something bigger!
scheme00 · 2017-06-24 13:52:00 · #2989
Girl I'm seeing sent me a text yesterday that was confusing because she didn't word it properly. She said something about "best friend" and I thought she was putting me in friend zone so this is how it went:

ME: "Oh you called me a fried which is confusing. Just want to be on the same page"

HER: "I meant that popcorn and pretzels are best friends silly."

ME: "Wow now I feel full retard. Something is making my hangover from last night get progressively worse today."

I sent that last text at 2pm yesterday and she just text me a full day later "How you feeling today". Should I wait until later and just respond with "I'm great what are you up to today?" I think she did not like the fact that I had to clarify I wasn't in the friend zone because her text was badly worded and it sounded like she was calling me her BFF.
AneroidOcean · 2017-06-24 21:45:00 · #2990
(06-24-2017 01:52 PM)scheme00 Wrote:  Girl I'm seeing sent me a text yesterday that was confusing because she didn't word it properly. She said something about "best friend" and I thought she was putting me in friend zone so this is how it went:

ME: "Oh you called me a fried which is confusing. Just want to be on the same page"

HER: "I meant that popcorn and pretzels are best friends silly."

ME: "Wow now I feel full retard. Something is making my hangover from last night get progressively worse today."

I sent that last text at 2pm yesterday and she just text me a full day later "How you feeling today". Should I wait until later and just respond with "I'm great what are you up to today?" I think she did not like the fact that I had to clarify I wasn't in the friend zone because her text was badly worded and it sounded like she was calling me her BFF.

Send her an image of popcorn and pretzels together. Wait til she laughs. Make plans and bang her out better than you ever have before. Don't be lovey/dovey.
jokerman · 2017-07-04 16:16:00 · #2991
completely cold-texted via whatsapp with number from her instagram,
rare catch with immediate response:

me: dinner xx:xx at xyz vegetarian restaurant

her: Haha I had diner already but I'm going out tonight you can come to? How do you know I'm a vegetarian? ???
her: And who are you? Hihi ??
her: How do you know my number ?

me: ha it's prince *jokerman* of austria
me: you may join tomorrow noon at restaurant not just vegetarian even vegan,raw,organic

her: Alright ? how late? ☺

me: 13.00 suits, *linktorestaurant*

her: Oke I will be there ? Can *name* my friend come to? Because it's not nice for her when she is alone... ☺

me: come alone

her: Haha why? ?



... thinking either ignore; a ;-) smiley but zero smiley policy; hmmm something more witty one-word?
Remington · 2017-07-05 07:25:00 · #2992
^Come alone? This isn't Taken 4.

I'd say something along the lines of how her friend needs to learn to cope with separation anxiety.
Dirkus · 2017-07-05 09:53:00 · #2993
@jokerman ^I'd just roll with the friend in tow - she only wants to bring her along as a security blanket - and assuming the friend is half way decent (even if she's not) I'd just go with whatever. You've never met this chick either way - and tbh, the group dynamic sometimes lends itself to easier conversation flow regardless - and an opportunity to display your personality with less pressure. Then again, that's speaking from my last weekend when my Day 2 Tinder date introduced me to her friend for pre-drinks before going out on the town with still more of her friends - and ended up making out with her friend (in front of my date) taking turns with them both in the club. Needless to say the competition anxiety served me well, and she quickly stole me away and took me home (much to my sadness at the potential 3-some that wasn't to be).

You gotta have an open mind with these things I say.

Just my 2 cents, but do what you wish.
jokerman · 2017-07-06 05:27:00 · #2994
(07-05-2017 07:25 AM)Remington Wrote:  ^Come alone? This isn't Taken 4.

hahahaha right as you say it, luckily she is neither a native speaker so it probably looks o.k. - it is short precise positive assertive?

(07-05-2017 07:25 AM)Remington Wrote:  I'd say something along the lines of how her friend needs to learn to cope with separation anxiety.

i like that, the reason why I am not convinced to use it, but teach me otherwise, is it is a bit negative i try to always put out positive wordings?

like
"your friend will be well entertained at X coffee shop she can say hi to my friend barista xyz there"
possibly?

(07-05-2017 09:53 AM)Dirkus Wrote:  @jokerman ^I'd just roll with the friend in tow - she only wants to bring her along as a security blanket - and assuming the friend is half way decent (even if she's not) I'd just go with whatever. You've never met this chick either way - and tbh, the group dynamic sometimes lends itself to easier conversation flow regardless

I read into a lot of "she wants to bring friend to first date" threads and choose the clean no from that.

Actually got a bang just a few weeks ago with a friend brought a long / double date, but with much easier girls where pretty much both were looking explicitly for a dick, almost managed to upgrade to a threesome... i think
Dirkus · 2017-07-06 05:51:00 · #2995
(07-06-2017 05:27 AM)jokerman Wrote:  I read into a lot of "she wants to bring friend to first date" threads and choose the clean no from that.

There is no such thing as "rules" or a "clean no" - every situation must be considered on its merits.

(07-06-2017 05:27 AM)jokerman Wrote:  Actually got a bang just a few weeks ago with a friend brought a long / double date, but with much easier girls where pretty much both were looking explicitly for a dick, almost managed to upgrade to a threesome... i think

Case in point.
AneroidOcean · 2017-07-06 15:58:00 · #2996
(07-04-2017 04:16 PM)jokerman Wrote:  completely cold-texted via whatsapp with number from her instagram,
rare catch with immediate response:

me: dinner xx:xx at xyz vegetarian restaurant

her: Haha I had diner already but I'm going out tonight you can come to? How do you know I'm a vegetarian? ???
her: And who are you? Hihi ??
her: How do you know my number ?

me: ha it's prince *jokerman* of austria
me: you may join tomorrow noon at restaurant not just vegetarian even vegan,raw,organic

her: Alright ? how late? ☺

me: 13.00 suits, *linktorestaurant*

her: Oke I will be there ? Can *name* my friend come to? Because it's not nice for her when she is alone... ☺

me: come alone

her: Haha why? ?



... thinking either ignore; a ;-) smiley but zero smiley policy; hmmm something more witty one-word?

What ended up happening here?
AnonymousBosch · 2017-07-06 20:24:00 · #2997
(06-22-2017 12:20 PM)jackflag Wrote:  When we first made out, she mentioned right after that she doesnt like to kiss on the first date, and if this is how I usually do it with american girls. Didnt stop her from continuing to kiss and hold hands though.

Quote:The first part was congruent with what I know about her. From our conversation before we met, she had all her prior boyfriends had started as friends and she moves slow into relationships. But the last part of the text, the friendzone part, was confusing. So I asked if she meant she wanted to go slow, or is she meant she didnt feel anything more than friends...

Look, I'm not one for offering guys a false sense of hope about the friendzone, but it's really hard to peg this one. The girl sounds to me as being genuinely-conflicted about her emotions, and suddenly gotten nervous. Welcome to Every Women.

Playing the Wounded Bird, particularly after a bad relationship, is a common female response to feeling guilty or dirty about what happened, and it sometimes might come across as Friendzone, and be easy to cut if off prematurely.

Look at what I bolded above. She's sending you clear signals that she's doesn't want to be seen as an easy slut, and that she thinks you're experienced: note American Girls, plural.

It doesn't matter if she has previously been a slut, her subjective narrative to compensate for a bad relationship is now that she's not that kind of girl.

Did you mention you were travelling or weren't in the country for long, which would have triggered a "This can never last" fear of abandonment. This is why it can be so hard to tell the difference between "Let's be friends" (she doesn't like you enough) and "Let's be friends and take it slow" (she likes you too much). Feminine women pre-Empowered Single Girl used to pull the latter all the time as part of Girl Game, when there was still negative stigma attached to being 'easy'.

Quote:and that last text about not wanting to hurt me (FUCK) signals her mind is now deep into the friendzone.

You can be blunt that her emotions didn't batter your rock:

"Hell, I can hear it. If we'd had more time together, you'd have learnt I'm tougher than most."

Refuse the friendzone, clearly-accepting it's over - you're not being a whiny beta - but Speaking Girl by encouraging the emotional drama in her head:

"That's fair, though I can't promise that twenty years from now, I won't remember our time together and wonder 'What If?'"

Note, she didn't say a definite "Yes", she said "Usually, yes."

Play up to the indecision.

"Isn't it great when life doesn't follow boring, predictable expectations, and you wonder if what usually doesn't make sense just might?"

Note also the final statement:

"That's why I said I don't know if it would work out or not."

She's not speaking in the past tense.

"Baby Girl, no-one ever knows. Sometimes the water looks cold and deep until you just jump in and swim."

Girls are always going to try and create emotional drama. My standard response to this in the early stages is "Talk to me," (which is really effective in person, but should be heavily-discouraged once you're actually in the relationship, when the frustrate, then fuck cycle comes into play to keep her happy and interested). Remember, they don't really want your perception of events, they want to talk about their emotions, and why they know they shouldn't, but wanting to hear why they should.

The thing about pushing the indecision further whilst showing you can accept rejection encourages a clearer, definite rejection if she's is just 'being nice' and doesn't feel anything, but should also reveal if she's genuinely-conflicted about moving too fast after an emotional injury.

Probably all a moot point by now if you've left the country.

Damn, now I'm intrigued by her. Girl game recognised.
PapayaTapper · 2017-07-06 20:53:00 · #2998
(07-05-2017 07:25 AM)Remington Wrote:  ^Come alone? This isn't Taken 4.

I'd say something along the lines of how her friend needs to learn to cope with separation anxiety.

"Come alone. This isnt Taken 4...might be 50 Shades though"
AnonymousBosch · 2017-07-06 21:10:00 · #2999
^ Thinking on this some more, probably the best way to really guard against Indecisive Girl Drama ("I don't know what I want!") is to nail in on the type of girl she is during your interactions with her - dreamy-idealist, curt pragmatist, starry-eyed romantic, empowered bitch on wheels, etc. It's easier to have a better idea of where she's coming from if you've casually-seeded profiling questions into the date. The best way, as always, is to encourage her to filter your experience of what you're currently seeing and doing emotionally.

How does this make you feel? What makes you wonder? What sort of person might have drawn this? How does that taste?

The skill comes down to disguising this enough so it doesn't sound like an interrogation.
duedue · 2017-07-08 10:07:00 · #3000
These digits were gotten in a nearby town and no response to any of them.

This one told me she had moved a lot and was going to watch Wonder Woman.
   

This one liked vanilla flavor of ice cream:
   

   

Is it possible they don't know who sent these messages? But girls usually respond when they don't know who's sent a message if it is intriguing enough.
PapayaTapper · 2018-03-04 16:06:00 · #3301
(03-04-2018 03:58 PM)replicaforit Wrote:  A chick from uni with whom I have 2 class per week, so we meet weekly but no any interesting convos during these. This week she landed in my bed, but since then there was not any message.

Should I text her occassionally to get her attention? Or just leave her alone and tease in person?

Did you have sex with her or does she think youre her gay friend?
Nibiru · 2018-03-04 16:14:00 · #3302
(03-04-2018 04:03 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 03:54 PM)Nibiru Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 03:45 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 03:36 PM)Nibiru Wrote:  I hosted a korean girl from Bhusan. A solid 9 , i have not see her naked so i cannot quite tell. But face is gorgeous although too much creams and maybe a little operation i don't know , i have been with an Asian, her face cannot be that perfect, or maybe can.
She drank a lot , I wined and dined her , she wanted more alcohol and we go down to the store to buy some. She giggles and fools around a lot, she is drunk.And we decided to watch a movie but she sat not so close to me. Anyway the rule is you don't scare them off first night of a CS bang attempt. I speak a little Korean, so she was impressed but did not get me far.
Next day she opens the front door without telling me hah and goes with a friend in the city. I was working and was like I ain't bothering with this broad. She messages me to meet her and a lot of smileys and love faces, i know Asians send them to friends too so i was confused and played it like i am not interested. She got sad and upset, then i switched and wanted to give her some sea gifts which happen to be on my balcony and to go there you go through the bedroom. Somewhere after watching me making fresh , she is like you know japanese girls are easier than me hahah and i am like , I can wait haha She said she has a man in Seoul, but sh*t she is going on a year like trip around the world, what kind of a man lets his chick do that, wtf? I detect either a lie, or i was bat sh*t out of luck.
F*ck she did not get it, I was either having to go caveman and risk my CS account or bail.
I decided on the latter. When we part ways , really short time after that , she said she misses me a lot.
It happens to be I may have a chance to meet later this month and she got a little excited as before she replied to texts really late which either signals no interest at all or lack of internet connection. She is like lets drink a lot hah and replied to all my suggestions all right.
Is there a way to escalate in 2-3 days or in a single meeting, I want to close this. I know if I did not bang her at my home, it ain't happening, but damn i am not quitting on getting my Korean flag with a 9.

First things first...What is your native language?
Ruskis here.
Okay , okay I edited the post , is it incomprehensible?

Yeah... actually

I couldnt really understand :

1 Why you didnt bang her (or at least try) when she was drunk and in your place ?

2. What texting has to do with current situation

Ok I edited it.
1. I did try , i poured in more alcohol,I told her I like her and we watched a movie. I gifted her some hand-made bracelets and opened the bedroom to signal her I want to fuck her brains out. I put my hands on her legs and tried to escalate softly. But did not want to have a bad feedback on my CS account.
2. I am seeing her again later this month and exchanged some messages on whatsapp. We will probably meet for wine tasting and a boat trip.
I plan to tell her to book a place together but will it be too straight-forward? I usually prefer to know beforehand if she has an interest in hooking up.
replicaforit · 2018-03-04 16:22:00 · #3303
(03-04-2018 04:06 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 03:58 PM)replicaforit Wrote:  A chick from uni with whom I have 2 class per week, so we meet weekly but no any interesting convos during these. This week she landed in my bed, but since then there was not any message.

Should I text her occassionally to get her attention? Or just leave her alone and tease in person?

Did you have sex with her or does she think youre her gay friend?

Had sex 3 times, sorry for not elaborating clearly
PapayaTapper · 2018-03-04 16:23:00 · #3304
(03-04-2018 04:14 PM)Nibiru Wrote:  Ok I edited it.
1. I did try , i poured in more alcohol,I told her I like her and we watched a movie. I gifted her some hand-made bracelets and opened the bedroom to signal her. I put my hands on her legs and tried to escalate softly. But did not want to have a bad feedback on my CS account.

What happened when you put your hands on her legs? Did you try to kiss her? Did she say "stop" (or otherwise indicate resistance)? Youre leaving out the most important details

(03-04-2018 04:14 PM)Nibiru Wrote:  2. I am seeing her again later this month and exchanged some messages on whatsapp. We will probably meet for wine tasting and a boat trip.
I plan to tell her to book a place together but will it be too straight-forward? I usually prefer to know beforehand if she has an interest in hooking up.

I be better able to answer this once I know the answer to the above
PapayaTapper · 2018-03-04 16:25:00 · #3305
(03-04-2018 04:22 PM)replicaforit Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 04:06 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 03:58 PM)replicaforit Wrote:  A chick from uni with whom I have 2 class per week, so we meet weekly but no any interesting convos during these. This week she landed in my bed, but since then there was not any message.

Should I text her occassionally to get her attention? Or just leave her alone and tease in person?

Did you have sex with her or does she think youre her gay friend?

Had sex 3 times, sorry for not elaborating clearly

So you texted her and no response or are you just expecting her to text you because you fucked her and want to bang her again?
replicaforit · 2018-03-04 16:27:00 · #3306
(03-04-2018 04:25 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 04:22 PM)replicaforit Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 04:06 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 03:58 PM)replicaforit Wrote:  A chick from uni with whom I have 2 class per week, so we meet weekly but no any interesting convos during these. This week she landed in my bed, but since then there was not any message.

Should I text her occassionally to get her attention? Or just leave her alone and tease in person?

Did you have sex with her or does she think youre her gay friend?

Had sex 3 times, sorry for not elaborating clearly

So you texted her and no response or are you just expecting her to text you because you fucked her?

We last talked when she left my apartment, so I Have not texted her so far, and she have not sent me anything either. I just want to maximize my chances to keep her as a plate.
Nibiru · 2018-03-04 16:31:00 · #3307
(03-04-2018 04:23 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-04-2018 04:14 PM)Nibiru Wrote:  Ok I edited it.
1. I did try , i poured in more alcohol,I told her I like her and we watched a movie. I gifted her some hand-made bracelets and opened the bedroom to signal her. I put my hands on her legs and tried to escalate softly. But did not want to have a bad feedback on my CS account.

What happened when you put your hands on her legs? Did you try to kiss her? Did she say "stop" (or otherwise indicate resistance)? Youre leaving out the most important details

(03-04-2018 04:14 PM)Nibiru Wrote:  2. I am seeing her again later this month and exchanged some messages on whatsapp. We will probably meet for wine tasting and a boat trip.
I plan to tell her to book a place together but will it be too straight-forward? I usually prefer to know beforehand if she has an interest in hooking up.

I be better able to answer this once I know the answer to the above

1. I stopped the movie and tried to get close to her but she said she was tired. I forgot to tell her the couch is extendable and messaged her asking if she needed some help. She said if she cannot do it herself she would message me. After a few hours, I was playing online poker in my room and dropped my phone. She messaged me asking if everything is okay and asked me if I want to drink something. And I was like of course, but then she said just water and i replied i am going to sleep.
Next day I prepared tequila shots but we did not drink. Really weird because she said she wanted to try.
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