^

Nah, this isn't odd at all.

I doubt it's over. She's using vague girl language. "I don't think I can..." She hadn't made a definite decision and wants reassurance.

This is the regret speech of too many pumps and dumps.

Interestingly, the dismissive-avoidant tell: "It's not like I'm looking for a husband but I don't want a fling either," instantly swerves into a declaration of need after all: "I really want someone, I've been alone for too long." She started off trying to be cool, but is either letting her guard down or faking letting her guard down to offer you vulnerability and fire up your masculine side: I'm just a vulnerable girl with a fragile heart, are you willing to be my Protector?

She's recognising you're high value, and she's trying to raise her value in your eyes so you don't see her as an easy lay.

If you say "OK", and disengage, you failed her test and she proved to herself you were just a player.

You could easily run girlfriend game on her, but I'll assume you're after the notch.

You could try cocky-distancing:

"Slow down. Why do you assume drinks mean sex? I haven't decided if I'm sleeping with you yet."

Appeal To Coolness:

"Ah, I don't know. Is coffee really a social lubricant? I mean, how much flirting do you really think happens at a McCafé?"

Teasing:

"So, you want a safe meet without the thrill of risk? I can see a lot awkward showbag-holding in your future as I ride the Hurricane with our kids."

See what she says. Keep teasing:

"Daadddd... why is mummy always so borrrrring."

Ask For Her Deep Insight:

"I don't know about that. Don't you think it's harder for people to hide who they really are after a few drinks? I've know a guy whose always apologising for being a total bastard when he's drunk, but I'm sure that's who he really is inside and beer is the excuse he uses for being a douche. You know anyone like that?"

Romance:

"My grandparents met in a bar. They were together for 50 years until my gran passed on, and in all that time he would only drink Johnnie Walker because that's what he was drinking when he first saw her."

[Actually true, in my case, though I'm sure the second half was him gaming her].

Tell Me More About You:

"Interesting. Do your ever friends tell you that you worry too far into the future? Like, you're worrying about things that might never happen rather than just dealing with things if and when they happen."

Faux-arrogant Humour:

"I know, I know. It's understandable. You're worried what you'll do when you're in the same room as me. Relax. I'm a master at deflecting the wandering hands of naughty girls who should know better by now."

[^ Probably too lightweight a joke for this girl.]

Or deflect the conversation entirely for now with clown game. Think of it as coming in for an aborted-landing, then circling the airport for another pass.

"Coffee? I dunno... those places make me uncomfortable / are creepy."

Let her ask why.

"All those bored suburban mums drink lattes in packs and look at me like I'm a piece of meat. My eye's are up here ladies."

or

"I'm sure they're running a cloning operation. Have you noticed? Every time I go in for coffee, I'm worried I'll come out with skinny jeans and a Hipster Beard."

or

"We'd be the most interesting couple in there. You know: there'll be some creepy nerd tapping away on an iMac and eavesdropping on everything we say, trying to learn how normal people talk. Ten months from now, bang!, we're in his novel, and your Mum calls you to tell you her friends think you're not playing hard enough to get."

Lots of options. You might be able to think of better ones. In all these cases you're selling the bar as the adult meeting place, and coffee as boring, safe and conformist.

Good luck.

^ Forgot to mention, if nothing deflects, her most likely move will to be accuse of you of being flippant when she's trying to be serious.

"Of course I'm being flippant, I want you to smile. You're too young to be weighted down by worry."

^^
Those are all really good responses! Awesome post!
I wish I'd waited to respond but unfortunately I jumped the gun and responded with the below last night as I thought it was over.

Me: That's a big assumption to make based on very little evidence. Coffee = serious dating but drink = fling, are you serious? I'm not after a one night stand but it seems like you want to jump into something serious straight away and that's too fast paced for me so you're right, it doesn't sound like we're on the same page.

She hasn't responded to that text so I might follow up with one of your suggestions just to see if I can salvage it or not.

**edit**
She responded.

Me: Do your friends ever tell you that you worry too much about the future? Like you're worrying about things that might never happen rather than just dealing with things if and when they happen.

Her: I know I worry a lot about the future thats why I'm very unsure about seeing you. Our conversations didn't feel comfortable? nice? (I don't know what adjective to use), to me at least, so I was afraid meeting each other might turn our to be terrible. I really do not want my first date with someone after 3 years to turn out a disaster.

Her: I'm sorry about this. Wanna start over?


This girl is all over the place.

I will consider myself alpha when I can internalize that many responses in that many particular directions for a single situation. Holy shit that post was on point AB.

Quote:I will consider myself alpha when I can internalize that many responses in that many particular directions for a single situation. Holy shit that post was on point AB.

Swuglyfe: I simply have 28+ years of gaming women without the safety net of texting under my belt. Roosh is right: the more you approach, the easier it gets. Remember this 28 years from now when you've lost count of your notches.

(04-15-2015 10:33 PM)Roardog Wrote:  This girl is all over the place.

Nah, she's just a girl.

Ok, this is Wounded Bird Game. You're nursing her back to emotional health and forging intimacy while you do it. She's wanting to intellectually / emotionally-connect, which is cool, because all you have to really do here is give her permission to talk about herself.

Counter her cynicism and suspicion with positivity-tinged-with-weary experience. You're wise for your age, and yeah, you have been wounded too but haven't fallen into cynicism like her. You still believe people are basically good, given the chance.

Talk - briefly - about past injuries in vague terms, never specific girls, and even then only as leading question to get her to talk more about herself. Remember, she doesn't actually want to hear your problems: she doesn't want a whiny bitch who can't handle his shit.

This doesn't mean being her emotional tampon. You don't coddle her. You don't call the men who have hurt her 'bastards' and claim to be a male feminist. General wisdom: "You're still young...", "These things just add to your strength...", "Well, some men..." ; "A friend had that happen to him..."

Avoid flippancy, arrogance and heavy teasing. Some faux-wounded pride might help: "Now I'm kind of wondering what kind of monster you were imagining me to be?"

If she asks you about your problems - and she probably will, she's seeking connection - don't answer directly, lightly-tease first, but don't overdo it. You want her to feel like you're not usually comfortable with opening up, so you deflect it a bit with humour at times.

Here's how it works. She might ask you if an ex ever cheated on you.

You NEVER say:

"Yeah that happened with my ex girlfriend, she was a total bitch, fucked me over, broke my heart...."

Instead you initially evade, but eventually say something like this, in your own words:

"Well, that's the risk of offering up your heart to anyone, isn't it? You want to believe your partner realises your heart is a precious object, but people can take any kind of beauty for granted and eventually grow complacent and careless with it. My nephew often leave toys out in the rain. But what can you do? Do you think you should keep your heart in a box, hidden from view, never allowing anyone to see it?"

You deliver a slow speech like that with heavy eye contact over a bottle of wine in a dark bar, and she's yours.

Note I'm giving her a vague answer that suggests wisdom and experience, showing that I can carry the stoic weight of hurt without being a bitch about it, thereby reinforcing that I'll be strong whenever she is weak, then personalising the thought as to what she would do. I'm tapping into her emotional core - how does she personally feel? This is girl crack.

(04-15-2015 11:55 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

Quote:I will consider myself alpha when I can internalize that many responses in that many particular directions for a single situation. Holy shit that post was on point AB.

Swuglyfe: I simply have 28+ years of gaming women without the safety net of texting under my belt. Roosh is right: the more you approach, the easier it gets. Remember this 28 years from now when you've lost count of your notches.

(04-15-2015 10:33 PM)Roardog Wrote:  This girl is all over the place.

Nah, she's just a girl.

Ok, this is Wounded Bird Game. You're nursing her back to emotional health and forging intimacy while you do it. She's wanting to intellectually / emotionally-connect, which is cool, because all you have to really do here is give her permission to talk about herself.

Counter her cynicism and suspicion with positivity-tinged-with-weary experience. You're wise for your age, and yeah, you have been wounded too but haven't fallen into cynicism like her. You still believe people are basically good, given the chance.

Talk - briefly - about past injuries in vague terms, never specific girls, and even then only as leading question to get her to talk more about herself. Remember, she doesn't actually want to hear your problems: she doesn't want a whiny bitch who can't handle his shit.

This doesn't mean being her emotional tampon. You don't coddle her. You don't call the men who have hurt her 'bastards' and claim to be a male feminist. General wisdom: "You're still young...", "These things just add to your strength...", "Well, some men..." ; "A friend had that happen to him..."

Avoid flippancy, arrogance and heavy teasing. Some faux-wounded pride might help: "Now I'm kind of wondering what kind of monster you were imagining me to be?"

If she asks you about your problems - and she probably will, she's seeking connection - don't answer directly, lightly-tease first, but don't overdo it. You want her to feel like you're not usually comfortable with opening up, so you deflect it a bit with humour at times.

Here's how it works. She might ask you if an ex ever cheated on you.

You NEVER say:

"Yeah that happened with my ex girlfriend, she was a total bitch, fucked me over, broke my heart...."

Instead you initially evade, but eventually say something like this, in your own words:

"Well, that's the risk of offering up your heart to anyone, isn't it? You want to believe your partner realises your heart is a precious object, but people can take any kind of beauty for granted and eventually grow complacent and careless with it. My nephew often leave toys out in the rain. But what can you do? Do you think you should keep your heart in a box, hidden from view, never allowing anyone to see it?"

You deliver a slow speech like that with heavy eye contact over a bottle of wine in a dark bar, and she's yours.

Note I'm giving her a vague answer that suggests wisdom and experience, showing that I can carry the stoic weight of hurt without being a bitch about it, thereby reinforcing that I'll be strong whenever she is weak, then personalising the thought as to what she would do. I'm tapping into her emotional core - how does she personally feel? This is girl crack.

This is absolutely brilliant.

Damn. I am pretty sure that I am guilty of arrogant, flippant attitude and have teased far too heavily in the past. Over the top. It scared the shit out of a couple of girls. Both were really into me but I never got them to open up because of poor behavior on my part.

(04-15-2015 11:55 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

Quote:I will consider myself alpha when I can internalize that many responses in that many particular directions for a single situation. Holy shit that post was on point AB.

Swuglyfe: I simply have 28+ years of gaming women without the safety net of texting under my belt. Roosh is right: the more you approach, the easier it gets. Remember this 28 years from now when you've lost count of your notches.

(04-15-2015 10:33 PM)Roardog Wrote:  This girl is all over the place.

Nah, she's just a girl.

Ok, this is Wounded Bird Game. You're nursing her back to emotional health and forging intimacy while you do it. She's wanting to intellectually / emotionally-connect, which is cool, because all you have to really do here is give her permission to talk about herself.

Counter her cynicism and suspicion with positivity-tinged-with-weary experience. You're wise for your age, and yeah, you have been wounded too but haven't fallen into cynicism like her. You still believe people are basically good, given the chance.

Talk - briefly - about past injuries in vague terms, never specific girls, and even then only as leading question to get her to talk more about herself. Remember, she doesn't actually want to hear your problems: she doesn't want a whiny bitch who can't handle his shit.

This doesn't mean being her emotional tampon. You don't coddle her. You don't call the men who have hurt her 'bastards' and claim to be a male feminist. General wisdom: "You're still young...", "These things just add to your strength...", "Well, some men..." ; "A friend had that happen to him..."

Avoid flippancy, arrogance and heavy teasing. Some faux-wounded pride might help: "Now I'm kind of wondering what kind of monster you were imagining me to be?"

If she asks you about your problems - and she probably will, she's seeking connection - don't answer directly, lightly-tease first, but don't overdo it. You want her to feel like you're not usually comfortable with opening up, so you deflect it a bit with humour at times.

Here's how it works. She might ask you if an ex ever cheated on you.

You NEVER say:

"Yeah that happened with my ex girlfriend, she was a total bitch, fucked me over, broke my heart...."

Instead you initially evade, but eventually say something like this, in your own words:

"Well, that's the risk of offering up your heart to anyone, isn't it? You want to believe your partner realises your heart is a precious object, but people can take any kind of beauty for granted and eventually grow complacent and careless with it. My nephew often leave toys out in the rain. But what can you do? Do you think you should keep your heart in a box, hidden from view, never allowing anyone to see it?"

You deliver a slow speech like that with heavy eye contact over a bottle of wine in a dark bar, and she's yours.

Note I'm giving her a vague answer that suggests wisdom and experience, showing that I can carry the stoic weight of hurt without being a bitch about it, thereby reinforcing that I'll be strong whenever she is weak, then personalising the thought as to what she would do. I'm tapping into her emotional core - how does she personally feel? This is girl crack.

Brilliant post!

She's still talking to me and I'll see if I can get her on the date.

(04-16-2015 12:04 AM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  Damn. I am pretty sure that I am guilty of arrogant, flippant attitude and have teased far too heavily in the past. Over the top. It scared the shit out of a couple of girls. Both were really into me but I never got them to open up because of poor behavior on my part.

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. It's about reading the girl's responses and tailoring your approaches on the fly based upon their personality.

You couldn't use this style of world-weary game on a Party Girl in her Prime: she'd be ignoring you for her phone halfway through a speech about any kind of emotion. Keep it light, keep it fun, keep her party going.

Some girls will thrive on teasing and arrogance, and know how to tease and frustrate back. Keep those skills in your toolbox.

Women are women, so there's never a guarantee. Remember I said I've been at this for 28+ years? I can still misread girls, try the wrong approach and strike out. I tend to default to cheeky, low-key humour as it's easier to correct the conversation in either direction. Is she good-natured? Keep it agreeable. Is she snarky? Dial up your sarcasm. You learn to be multiple versions of yourself.

Roardog has a big advantage here in that she's clearly laying out her fears and insecurities for him to read, though I'd take 'first date in 3 years' with a grain of salt, as she's a girl: the hurt could have happened last week.

It's also possible she'll warm up in person, and he'll have to change his approach entirely. Read her mood. Is she reflective and low key, or is she looking to have a fun time?

Fuck AB lol. Genius

(04-15-2015 09:29 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  ^

Nah, this isn't odd at all.

I doubt it's over. She's using vague girl language. "I don't think I can..." She hadn't made a definite decision and wants reassurance.

This is the regret speech of too many pumps and dumps.....

or

"We'd be the most interesting couple in there. You know: there'll be some creepy nerd tapping away on an iMac and eavesdropping on everything we say, trying to learn how normal people talk. Ten months from now, bang!, we're in his novel, and your Mum calls you to tell you her friends think you're not playing hard enough to get."

Lots of options. You might be able to think of better ones. In all these cases you're selling the bar as the adult meeting place, and coffee as boring, safe and conformist.

Good luck.

You are the chuck Norris of texting

(04-16-2015 02:31 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

(04-16-2015 12:04 AM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  Damn. I am pretty sure that I am guilty of arrogant, flippant attitude and have teased far too heavily in the past. Over the top. It scared the shit out of a couple of girls. Both were really into me but I never got them to open up because of poor behavior on my part.

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. It's about reading the girl's responses and tailoring your approaches on the fly based upon their personality.

You couldn't use this style of world-weary game on a Party Girl in her Prime: she'd be ignoring you for her phone halfway through a speech about any kind of emotion. Keep it light, keep it fun, keep her party going.

Some girls will thrive on teasing and arrogance, and know how to tease and frustrate back. Keep those skills in your toolbox.

Women are women, so there's never a guarantee. Remember I said I've been at this for 28+ years? I can still misread girls, try the wrong approach and strike out. I tend to default to cheeky, low-key humour as it's easier to correct the conversation in either direction. Is she good-natured? Keep it agreeable. Is she snarky? Dial up your sarcasm. You learn to be multiple versions of yourself.

Roardog has a big advantage here in that she's clearly laying out her fears and insecurities for him to read, though I'd take 'first date in 3 years' with a grain of salt, as she's a girl: the hurt could have happened last week.

It's also possible she'll warm up in person, and he'll have to change his approach entirely. Read her mood. Is she reflective and low key, or is she looking to have a fun time?

Your advice worked as it has entirely turned her around. I let her talk about herself and gave vague examples of my past "I was in a similar position to you last year and I know how scary it can feel".
As soon as I did that boom, her fears have settled and she's back on board. Suddenly she's texting me asking how my night is going and other things about me.

The only thing is I have now discovered is our logistics are shit. She lives a 45 minute drive from me and studies at a uni which is even further away from where I live. Not sure how we matched on Tinder as I keep my radius to 5km.

Okay players need some help. Sent a restart text to a chick I pulled a few weeks back at a night club but didn't get the bang.

Me: Hey longtime no speak,
Me: You sober right now?
4mins later
Her: Well well look who it is stranger. Yes I'm sober. Are you?

Brain can't pump out the clever stuff i'm good at. Probably because test tomorrow. Any tips?

-CD

(04-16-2015 08:09 PM)coverdoc Wrote:  Okay players need some help. Sent a restart text to a chick I pulled a few weeks back at a night club but didn't get the bang.

Me: Hey longtime no speak,
Me: You sober right now?
4mins later
Her: Well well look who it is stranger. Yes I'm sober. Are you?

Brain can't pump out the clever stuff i'm good at. Probably because test tomorrow. Any tips?

-CD

State that your going out and invite her to join you


You: Im going to x bar at 10 to get un sober...join me

Get your priorities straight. .focus on your test.

Been chatting to this girl I pulled at a bar last Friday, she said she had work early and here's how it went:

Me: How is work going?
Took her along long time to reply
Her: Hey! finally done now, going back home very sleepy..

I didn't text back
Her: So what are you doing?
Me: reading a book, got off work late today, you?

Radio silent till now, should I ignore her when she texts back? or is there a better way?

(04-16-2015 09:49 PM)Geekzor Wrote:  I didn't text back
Her: So what are you doing?
Me: reading a book, got off work late today, you?

She's looking for distraction. Never give a straight answer if you're doing something that boring. Be vague:

"Tired-but-wired. Body says sleep, brain's planning a heist." If you want to emotionally-engage her throw "Ever get like that?" on the end.

If you're playing Man Of Few Words, you'd just go with 'Tired-but-wired'. It depends on how you view her use: brief distraction / plate / casual girlfriend.

You can spin it into Tell Me More, ("What's the longest you've ever stayed awake?"); I Can Sense You're A Bad Girl, ("If you knew you could get away with it, what's the first place you'd want to rob?"); or Romantic Spirit, ("Sometimes it's good to just jump on the bike and ride around the city to relax. The streetlights at this time of night make it feel like you're like flying.").

You could also Pull Her Hair, (and this works equally-well in a crowded club or bar): "Ah this chick has been texting me and now I'm wondering if she's a crazy stalker? Are you good with reading faces? Girls have this sixth sense for telling when someone is creepy."

She'll either engage, which case you build up the suspense and ask her about what makes her think people look crazy or creepy, (girls love judging other people - this is great in a club because you and her can conspiratorally-judge the appearance of others and build a sense of Intimate Connection through creating an In Group (you and her) and Out Group (everyone else).

That's a side bonus if it's non-text, but the point is to build up suspense until the eventual reveal.

If she doesn't engage or gets snippy, keep at it: "I'll shoot / show you her pic. What do you think? Good girl or bunny boiler?"

This is when you send / show her her own pic. If texting, immediately follow it up with Pusheen The Cat, so she knows you were deliberately-teasing her.



Even this has Cocky Jerk / In-Group-Out-Group Potential:

Quote:Me: How is work going?
Took her along long time to reply
Her: Hey! finally done now, going back home very sleepy..

"Yeah. I know that feeling. Don't you find it exhausting being the only one there who has a clue?"

Thanks for the advice my text game is horrible, but I'm working on it although I'm seriously considering nexting her. Will keep them tips for my other texts though, and regarding reopening dead conversations I've never done one and I just next a girl who goes radio silent, but I did find some threads where guys would send a reopening text what is your take on that?

(04-16-2015 08:09 PM)coverdoc Wrote:  Her: Well well look who it is stranger. Yes I'm sober. Are you?

I'm Used To Having Fun:

"I'm somewhere between pre-club buzz and serious bottle service."

Clown:

"Not sure. Hang tight, I'll ask the cop who just pulled me over."

"Is sober the one where you have two or four hands?"

If she's a Hipster or thinks she's Clever:

"Dammit. I've just decided I'm Amish so was looking for a bad girl to lecture on the evils of liquor."

When she says "What", "Are You serious?" etc.

"Huh. Turns out Being Amish doesn't stick. You wanna get a drink?"

Hi guys, looking for some help.

I was hanging out with a pretty girl at my local pub last night, and there is also, it turns out, a really pretty 18 year old barmaid who works there (I'm 25). So I was sitting at the bar with the girl I came with, and brought the barmaid into the conversation a few times, as I kept catching her looking at me. Long story short, I got the barmaids number, and texted her to follow up and say we should hang out. She replied that she would really like to and wanted to hear more about the things we'd been talking about last night. We live in a rural area, so there aren't that many young people around, which is both a blessing and a curse I guess.

Anyway, I replied to her text where she said she'd really like to hang out by saying:

'Awesome. What nights don't you work at X, let's arrange something'.

She replied within the hour saying:

'Ah, that's the problem, I go back to uni on Monday and I'm not back until the end of May x'

What do you guys reckon I should reply? This chick lives really close to me, is very cute, actually has a really good sense of humour, and seems pretty uncorrupted so far (her FB photos suggest she isn't part of the 'cool' crowd).

I think she'd genuinely like to hang out, and it's pretty clear from her body language that she thinks I'm attractive. I have plans tonight and tomorrow. It's pretty clear she won't be a one night thing, and I'd quite like to set her up as an option for the summer months.

I'm thinking of just saying something along the lines of:

'That's so sad, I was looking forward to hanging out. You should drop me a text when you're back from uni'.

But I don't know whether to try to build some rapport with her over the next few weeks via text, which I can usually do pretty successfully, or whether I just leave it for now.

Advice much appreciated.

If your other plans are other dates you can book one right after another and cancel the second one if things are looking promising.

It sounds like you legitimately want to hang out with the barmaid though. Strike while the iron is hot or she will probably find some new dick at school.

Push the meet up to this weekend. Say something simple like

"Meet me at xyz place. I need to give you a proper sending off"

Or

"Meet me at xyz place so I don't have to chase you down in an airport and confess my undying love to you before you leave "

Need some advice lads. I Matched with a girl on Tinder back in Feb, was building comfort and was going okay (this was before I was "game aware"). However, the conversation broke down and she unmatched me. Swiping through Tinder earlier today we have rematched. Was just wondering what to say as an opener?

"Are you stalking me?"

(04-19-2015 11:42 AM)Virtus Wrote:  "Are you stalking me?"

Good one will use.

Thanks guys for tips. We texted further and she said she has a boyfriend now. Threw the lines "How long have you had that problem" and later "when are you guys getting married". She wants to meet for "Sushi" this week.

-CD

Girl I haven't talked to in months from okc
She's hitting me up to probably bang

"How's your endless search for beautiful women?"

Good reply?