Post: #726

(10-26-2014 10:40 AM)Chaos Wrote:  ^ Yeah I know exactly what I should not do and still I slipped.

Where is the goddamn discipline....

Well, you are a lover of intensity, like many a hard drinker.

I can tell from the way you write about music and the songs you post that you are intensely into it, for example. Alcohol seems like something that responds to and requites that kind of intensity.

Yet -- I haven't had a a drink in almost 8 years and I'm more into AC/DC's It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Rock 'n Roll) than I was at the height of my drinking, when I would drink just so I could listen to music in a certain way.

You just have to have patience and trust that the intensities can come back stronger than ever, but you can't rush them. You have to be willing to go through a long period that seems dull and empty and fallow before you come out the other side.

It is very hard for men who are passionate and drawn to intensity to have that patience and that trust that life will come to you but that you can't rush it. But if you can be patient and trust it, the rewards are great...

So again, don't waste time being disappointed in yourself. Recognize that you have a certain personality and are drawn to certain intensities. But recognize also that you can work with that and control it with some effort, and that it is well and truly worth doing that in the long haul. Go from there...

Post: #727

I plan on spending the entirety of 2015 without alcohol.

Post: #728

2 weeks today. Already feeling good and my head is getting clear too.

I think it will be smooth sailing from here. I've already hung out with my best drinking buddies a few times and didn't drink nor did I have the desire to. Also I hung out with my family a few times and it usually always includes alcohol.

Last time I didn't have to go through any of those challenges because I was away from home but I think it's good because now I know I don't have to in those situations, which I was worried about before.

Post: #729

(10-27-2014 12:21 PM)Biz Wrote:  2 weeks today. Already feeling good and my head is getting clear too.

I think it will be smooth sailing from here.

I don't want to disencourage you. Good that things are going fine for you.
But the first two weeks are the easiest at least for me.
That's the time I need to recover from a decent hangover.
After two weeks I wouldn't talk so much

Post: #730

Checking in. 10 months in.

Post: #731

So its been 64 days without the booze, for the most part it's been kind of easy until now. I've been staying busy with work, also been hitting the gym regularly. Gone out to restaurants, sports bars with old drinking buddies, birthdays and get togethers with the family, had some cravings to drink while out, but i was able to ignore them without a problem. Felt really good about myself the mornings after not drinking the night before.

But for the last 5 days, all of a sudden I've been having these thoughts to go out and drink again. They're constant throughout the day. My brain is constantly reminding me of all the good times I've had while drinking alcohol. As time goes by, its like my mind is forgetting all the bad stuff alcohol has brought to my life, which are the reasons I'm on this wagon.

I know I have to muscle through these days and just continue to remind myself that I've made a decision to quit and I will stick to it no matter what!

Post: #732

(10-27-2014 08:22 PM)licru90 Wrote:  I know I have to muscle through these days and just continue to remind myself that I've made a decision to quit and I will stick to it no matter what!

Yes, exactly.

The brain can be devious -- once it's gotten a taste of a drug that it likes there comes a day when it demands it again. And as you said, it's very good at remembering the pleasures and forgetting the consequences and all the pain that followed.

Try to pointedly remember all the negative consequences you've suffered as a result of drinking. Even the few posts that you've made earlier in the thread can be a good reminder. Go back and reread them.

These periods are really the decisive ones for the wagon. Every time you get through such a period without giving the brain what it thinks it wants, you get a little stronger, and you make it a little easier for yourself next time such a period comes around -- until eventually, they no longer really occur or only very faintly. But that takes time, and the discipline you'll put in now is where it really starts.

Post: #733

(10-27-2014 07:39 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  Checking in. 10 months in.

Excellent. You are in the home stretch, so just relax and enjoy the rest of the ride.

Post: #734

(10-27-2014 12:21 PM)Biz Wrote:  2 weeks today. Already feeling good and my head is getting clear too.

I think it will be smooth sailing from here. I've already hung out with my best drinking buddies a few times and didn't drink nor did I have the desire to. Also I hung out with my family a few times and it usually always includes alcohol.

Last time I didn't have to go through any of those challenges because I was away from home but I think it's good because now I know I don't have to in those situations, which I was worried about before.

Biz,

That's good -- at 2 weeks in you're starting to gather a little renewed momentum, so keep it going.

But keep in the back of your mind -- even if you can't feel it right now -- that it will not always be smooth sailing. You will certainly have some rough patches ahead; they may not come for a while, but they'll come. So just be ready and don't let them catch you completely by surprise.

You have to develop a certain doggedness and stubbornness with respect to the wagon; that means the determination to roll on even when you are not enjoying the ride at that moment. The times when it's a smooth ride are good, but the times when the ride gets a little rougher are what really gets you there. So just keep that in the back of your mind, and in the meantime, enjoy the easy time while it lasts.

Post: #735

How about a few beers to get a buzz occasionally? I think I'll be a lot better off if I get rid of liquor since I've never enjoyed pounding beers all night.

Post: #736

I feel like I slowly slip into something like MGTOW, sure if opportunity present itself I still go for it but I don't actively pursuit it anymore.

Sometime i deliberately deny myself pleasures to enjoy them more.

On a side note: newly roasted Vietnamese highland coffee is fucking good.

Post: #737

1 month today

Post: #738

(11-13-2014 12:27 PM)Biz Wrote:  1 month today

Good stuff! Keep going.

6 days away from 3 months myself.

Post: #739

(11-13-2014 12:27 PM)Biz Wrote:  1 month today

Good job Biz.

Post: #740

I don't know if it the effect of the wagon or not, I'm starting to enjoy the moments of boredom, without them the exciting moments are meaningless.

Post: #741

Onto the 8th month! I want to mark my progress since it feels a lot slower than the first six months, lizard was right.

Post: #742

(11-06-2014 01:39 AM)Felix88 Wrote:  I feel like I slowly slip into something like MGTOW, sure if opportunity present itself I still go for it but I don't actively pursuit it anymore.

Sometime i deliberately deny myself pleasures to enjoy them more.

On a side note: newly roasted Vietnamese highland coffee is fucking good.

Don't know about all that acronym nonsense (just fucking with you), but I'm only just past 2 months, and I feel a similar thing. Easy whores don't interest me at all anymore.

(11-14-2014 01:12 AM)Felix88 Wrote:  I don't know if it the effect of the wagon or not, I'm starting to enjoy the moments of boredom, without them the exciting moments are meaningless.

This too.

Really starting to appreciate life's cyclical flow. Things don't have to be on, on, on anymore like they used to.

Are you in Vietnam?

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Rudyard Kipling

Post: #743

3 months and 13 days.

I'm in a new environment now and will be for the next 5 months. There is absolutely nothing to do here except the work and drinking. That's what everyone does.

First evening I sat with coworkers I was offered alcohol around 12 times, I kid you not. I declined a beer three times and then one just opened it and put it on the table in front of me. I didn't crack but the attention was awful.

The worst part is that you have to be all light-hearted and humorous about it. Every time I would smile and go: "Nah man, I don't wanna be taken advantage of later tonight." or something and on the inside I'm "You fucking twat, take this shit away from me or I'll crack open your skull with it"

I didn't wanna go all alpha on them and say "I don't drink. Period." because you can't escape this place here. There are no "other friends" around.

Spending time alone in my room is tolerable for now, but it's gonna get harder as time goes on. I need a real hobby or something.

Post: #744

I just realized I hit the halfway point the other day. 6 months.

I think that's the longest stretch of any of my friends.

I was listening to Hank Williams Jr "All My Rowdy Friends Have Settled Down".

Some of the lyrics are great. "Sweet tea and corn bread have taken the place of pills and 90 proof"

Even though I no longer drink I kind of feel that way. All my rowdy friends have settled down. I guess that's more about marriage though.

Post: #745

(11-26-2014 08:36 AM)Felix88 Wrote:  Onto the 8th month! I want to mark my progress since it feels a lot slower than the first six months, lizard was right.

Lizard is always right.

8 months is a good time to experience the wagon as slow. It's deep into the year but not yet truly close to the end of the year. Enjoy that leisurely pace...

(11-26-2014 11:17 AM)micha Wrote:  I didn't wanna go all alpha on them and say "I don't drink. Period." because you can't escape this place here. There are no "other friends" around.

Spending time alone in my room is tolerable for now, but it's gonna get harder as time goes on. I need a real hobby or something.

I think it's best to be straight about it if this situation is going to happen again and again. You don't have to say "I don't drink, period" or be especially aggressive, you can just say "I'm taking a long break from drinking" (which is true) and be polite but firm about it.

I don't know where you are, but it's likely that over time some ways to spend time and socialize will offer themselves if you stay patient. And in any case, 5 months is not a very long time to be somewhere.

(11-26-2014 02:18 PM)Fisto Wrote:  I just realized I hit the halfway point the other day. 6 months.

I think that's the longest stretch of any of my friends.

Your friends have some solid wagon time to look forward to in that case...

6 months is a good milestone and worth noting for sure.

Post: #746

@Lizard

Yeah, you're right. I don't know why my thinking is so black and white sometimes. I actually just had a conversation 15 minutes ago where I said "I'm taking a break to prove I'm in control." and that was being understood and respected.

Post: #747

(11-26-2014 09:38 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(11-06-2014 01:39 AM)Felix88 Wrote:  I feel like I slowly slip into something like MGTOW, sure if opportunity present itself I still go for it but I don't actively pursuit it anymore.

Sometime i deliberately deny myself pleasures to enjoy them more.

On a side note: newly roasted Vietnamese highland coffee is fucking good.

Don't know about all that acronym nonsense (just fucking with you), but I'm only just past 2 months, and I feel a similar thing. Easy whores don't interest me at all anymore.

(11-14-2014 01:12 AM)Felix88 Wrote:  I don't know if it the effect of the wagon or not, I'm starting to enjoy the moments of boredom, without them the exciting moments are meaningless.

This too.

Really starting to appreciate life's cyclical flow. Things don't have to be on, on, on anymore like they used to.

Are you in Vietnam?

Yes, I'm still in Vietnam, next to Saigon.

Post: #748

After spending about a year and a half on the wagon, I fell off hard over the past month. I was shocked by how fast things fell apart - fitness, health, game, finances, work...everything suffered. This is my written statement that I can't let this shit happen again. Alcohol does not improve my life in any way...this is a stark, logical statement that as a man, I have to understand and accept.

I'm back on as of 11/28/2014.

Post: #749

Not only did I fall off the wagon, but I did a full face plant and then got mangled by the wagons behind me. 6 months down the drain.

Post: #750

Charlemagne, welcome back aboard as of 11/28. Are you in for a full year as of today?

I think the firm 1 year commitment is what allowed you to stay on the wagon for the time that you did. If I'm not mistaken, you never officially renewed it for another year, but just stayed on the wagon in a kind of open-ended or indefinite way. My feeling is that such open-ended commitments aren't the best; they don't affect the brain in the same way and fail to imprint the reality of the wagon and as a result their point and purpose can become vague and fade away, making it that much easier to fall off when the opportunity presents itself.

Having a definite date and a 1 year commitment from that date is something that the brain can understand and remember. And a year is a good time period, just long enough to be dreadful, just short enough to be comprehensible. That's why, even if your intention is never to drink again, or not for many years, I recommend always committing to the wagon 1 year at a time, and renewing at the end of that year if that is your intention. It works.