(09-16-2012 01:12 PM)Samseau Wrote: (09-16-2012 11:06 AM)Kitsune Wrote: (09-16-2012 10:57 AM)Menace Wrote: All other things being equal, and assuming truth, it's funny how saying you're more intelligent than most people gets hate, but if you say you are more fit than most people, or a better athlete, you get praise.
Yeah except certain intelligent people make out that it is a curse.
If someone came up to me and said, "You don't know what its like man! Life is so difficult because I have superior athletic genetics and I just can't talk to normal people' I'd think he was complete dickhead.
Being intelligent doesn't make you some paragon that the rest of the world needs to conform to in a conversation, and saying, 'woe is me I can't cope with the idiots life is too tough' makes you sound like a retard.
Completely false. Let me explain how being intelligent hurts you in today's society.
From an early age, your intelligence will manifest itself. You will be reading, writing, and doing arithmetic when other kids are playing with Legos.
You will have nothing in common with children your age, and children older than you will refuse to see you as an equal because they believe your age and size means you are inferior. It is especially bad if you are more intelligent than kids older than you, because they will see you as a threat.
So, by the age of 6, intelligent children have no friends. They are de-facto ostracized from other kids because children their age are maturing at a rate several times slower, while kids who are older and might have more in common see the young intelligent child as "uncool".
Thus the entire world is hostile to an intelligent child. He becomes extremely insecure of his place, since, on one hand, he is endlessly praised for his achievements, yet on the other hand, endlessly ridiculed by the jealous or ignored by the ignorant.
Who here is capable of working out their "inner game" at the age of 6?
No one is, and that marks the start of an intelligent child's life - utterly solitary. The only way to co-exist with his classmates is to adopt one of two personalities.
1. The Bully - Unable to cope with the isolation, the intelligent child reacts by lording his superiority over his classmates in order to justify his ostracization. Rather than make it seem he is unable to get along with his classmates, he instead portrays his unpopularity as a choice - he is without friends because he's too good for the other idiots. He talks down to others, rolls his eyes when they don't figure things out as quickly, and alienates himself even more as the years roll on.
2. The Pussy - Unable to cope with his isolation, the intelligent child reacts by working to never offend anyone, in hopes that he can become friends with others by being a doormat. Rather than show off his intelligence, he learns to hide it in order to fit in. Although he excels in school, he keeps his achievements hidden and works tirelessly to be part of clubs where he laughs at other kid's jokes and pretending to understand. At best, the pussy manages to be accepted by the local nerds in school, at worst, kids pick on him even more given his disposition to never stand up for himself.
By the time high school comes around, intelligent children are complete social outcasts, and totally inept with women. They live in a different universe from everyone else.
Life is hell for most teenagers, I was heavily bullied and intelligent, one kid I knew tried to kill himself because everyone told him he was stupid all the time.
I'd rather not talk about myself in any detail because it detracts from the point, but when I was four I had the reading comprehension of an adult. I still had friends, and my life was generally quite happy. My friends weren't all supernerds.
The two roles you have divided smart people up into are weird, I wasn't really either, and I don't imagine any kid is an extreme version of either. Yes I was a bit of a wimp who got physically picked on, but that is probably because I was a wimp who was easy to pick on.
Very few people get out of the schooling system unbullied, and I think the system needs to change. If the OP was 15, then I could understand, I guess, because I felt the same at that age.
But as an adult, it's ridiculous to bemoan how bad you have it when all you have to complain about is that you 'dumb yourself down' (Whatever the hell that means anyway.) Imagine being one of those adults that has so little intelligence that they can't read or write, or being blind, or being a mute.
I went to a University full of socially inept people who were of high intelligence. One room mate I lived with tried to kill himself when a girl rejected him. This is a guy who can memorise entire passages of books on first read, and was bullied relentlessly through school and had all the hallmarks of a troubled upbringing, with divorce, moving home, bullying, few social skills, etc. He now has a steady income, he owns his own home, a girlfriend that absolutely worships him and is about to get his PhD in a completely technical and obscure subject that involves him travelling the world. He can have conversations with anyone, and enjoys hanging around with people who are far less intellectually inclined or as travelled as he is.
I use him as an example because he is the most like the hypothetical person you mentioned in your post: an extreme case who had to overcome huge hurdles to be sociable. I can't really say the same, because I've always accepted hardships like bullying as universal regardless of intelligence. One of my siblings is as much of a polar opposite of the archetype you suggest that they don't even fit in the conversation at all. Suffice to say, they are extremely extroverted whilst being of high intelligence. My sibling also has a wide mix of friends as regards intelligence (or, at least in my opinion - like the guy above said, you don't have IQ stamped on your forehead.)
Quote:This all makes good sense, Kitsune, but what about the issue of being bored?
Do you have friends whose company you enjoy whose IQ is 30 or more points below yours?
I think it's perfectly natural to be uninspired by people who can't get your jokes and rarely make you laugh. I'd think that pretty well all of us notice a large qualitative difference in our enjoyment of people 30 or 40 or 50 IQ points below and those whose levels are closer to our own.
In high school I decided I was unsatisfied with the quality of my friends, and so spent a few hours pouring over the year book, searching for a candidate to be my new best bud. I picked the guy, and we hung out after school every day. We got each other's jokes. We understood each other, and shared the same speed. Other people couldn't follow our conversations, but we'd speed along finishing each other sentences. It was a relief! No more dumbing down speech or agonizing through stupid arguments. We even challenged each other! Inspired each other. Talking was fun!
I bet all of us here, even those most aggressive to the OP, actually secretly agree. It's just that they aren't comparing themselves with those far enough below them as the very highly intelligent are above average.
And I know my place also. Sometime I'm in gatherings where I'm relatively dull. I'm not very highly intelligent, just enough so to know that it can be isolating when others don't understand you or share your interests. Don't and can't.
My best bud started hanging out with a crowd I didn't like so I stopped hanging with him, and he committed suicide shortly after high school, by the way.
Hey xsplat.
I'm not entirely sure how to answer your question. I'll do my best though.
I don't really mind hanging around with people who are below me IQ-wise, because I don't really seek out other people for extra-intellectual stimulation. I guess the advice I could give to people who feel they 'dumb themselves down' is to stop thinking you're going to find a wise-man in every conversation you have. Disclaimer though: Again, I don't really know people's IQ's anyway, so I just base these assumptions on vocabulary, subjects they can discuss etc.
That said, I do hang around with a lot of intellectually stimulating people because of the environment I'm in. Sometimes, we have fantastic conversations about deep stuff (I know a lot of foreigners and I like to talk about how their languages operate.) But a lot of the time, I imagine that our conversations are exactly the same as anyone else's. A lot of questions are universal:
How are you?
What have you been doing?
etc.
I know one guy who is heavily into sports, and I know you're not into them. I'm not into them either, not at all. But, the conversation isn't boring because it's something I don't know about and the emotions are genuine. I watched the olympics even though I don't have the slightest clue how most of the sports work, because I can understand the spectacle.
When I'm gaming or just talking to girls, I don't really dumb myself down in the slightest, and I don't amongst friends, even though I talk about some off-the-wall stuff that even I don't find interesting after a while. Sometimes, people will stop listening, at which point I let them change the subject. Sometimes, they go into deep immersion and when I stop speaking they'll say "Woah, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sure sounds interesting!" Ability to gauge a conversation is obviously key to conversing, and that exists regardless of intellectual capacity: I'd argue that it is easier for a dorky kid to pick up these cues than it is for a non-smart person to, which is why being intelligent isn't a disability. (Unless, for the people out there who somehow think high intelligence is automatically autistic, you have a disability like autism.)
As for getting bored? Sure, I get bored when I talk to people who don't really have anything stimulating to talk about if they are stupid. But, there are plenty of high-intelligence people who bore me to tears also; which is why I guess I'm answering this topic. Being intelligent doesn't give you the right to ignore how conversations work.
EDIT: There are also people who probably don't have great IQ's that make for fascinating conversation. There are people who've travelled the world, started multi-million dollar companies, had sex with supermodels, have thrown themselves out of planes or over cliffs for fun, etc. In a lot of conversations, I'm completely humbled. The most interesting conversation I ever had was with a salt-of-the-earth WWII veteran who admittedly never finished school and had to count using his fingers. He was telling me about how he wished that after the war he'd got to have a chat with the sniper who was trying to shoot him. He told me he was scared that he had to run at the machine-gun posts when he knew that if he got past them there were panzer tanks waiting too. How do you top a conversation like that?