(09-30-2018 07:17 PM)modernist Wrote:  I didn't masturbate for more than 6 months, many years ago before this nofap trend was even a thing, just for the personal challenge.

And... I felt no difference when it came to interacting with women. Nor with my self steem. Nor with basically anything else in my life.

Actually it made my sex performance slightly worse as I was coming earlier if I didn't have sex in some time, compared to when I was masturbating on the regular.

Just my personal experience.

Then you weren't addicted, plain and simple. The fact that you can easily go 6 months, "just for the personal challenge," proves this.

So, after being on nofap and noporn for months, I decided to check out some porn to see if there were still signs of addiction.

Doesn't even make me hard anymore. Nudes from my girls? Sure. Physically seeing gorgeous women? Naturally.

Artificial dopamine-inducing simulated sexual stimulation? Not even a stirring.

Gods be praised, one more step towards an all-natural life.

(09-30-2018 10:22 PM)YoungBlade Wrote:  So, after being on nofap and noporn for months, I decided to check out some porn to see if there were still signs of addiction.

Doesn't even make me hard anymore. Nudes from my girls? Sure. Physically seeing gorgeous women? Naturally.

Artificial dopamine-inducing simulated sexual stimulation? Not even a stirring.

Gods be praised, one more step towards an all-natural life.

Great to hear! Thanks for sharing.

Fellas - this is what you can expect from disconnecting your brain from porn.

Personally, I became a firm believer in NoFap after seeing how it improved my relationships. My first extended runs (30 days+) were done when I had a serious girlfriend, and our sex (and connection) both became better when I quit the porn.

I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?

(10-04-2018 04:57 AM)Mikestar Wrote:  I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?

That's your decision. Only you can decide what counts as "breaking."

Back to day 1, I edged too much and I think it’s better to restart rather than to get aroused and stop, in that state I get major brain fog. I’m now striving to beat my record last month of 25 days

(10-04-2018 04:57 AM)Mikestar Wrote:  I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?

Stop watching porn.
Stop edging.

Are you addicted to quickly rubbing one out or are you addicted to porn?
You know the answer.

If you really feel the strong, intense need to clean the pipes and there's no way to overcome it anymore, just do it quickly and without porn, and then move on with your life without thinking too much about it.

In that case it's basically like taking a shit or clipping your nails.
Pure maintenance. Annoying, pretty much a waste of time, but necessary.


However, odds are that you're actually not physically uncomfortable.

You're just bored.

Go do something with your life. Get a girlfriend, make some new friends and get a social life, get a new hobby, lift some weights or do sports, learn something useful, improve yourself. I think most guys who jerk off too much do so because they are bored out of their minds, they have nothing else going on in their lives, no success, nothing that excites them, nothing that gives them a nice dopamine hit. So they turn to porn and choking their dick until it's dead.


I'm also wondering when guys are going to find out that they are framing the whole thing in a completely wrong way.
I hate those words, "relapse" and "restart". Everyone's always worrying about that to the point where it's frankly absurd.

It's basically a negative feedback loop.
"I went 20 days. Relapsed. I went 35 days. Back to the start. This time I managed to do 12 days. Aaaand I relapsed."

You are always losing.
NoFap as most guys practice it has no positive reinforcement, no positive feedback loop (actually it does, but not the one you want).
It's just fail after fail after fail.
You are setting yourself up for failure the moment you start it. You actually start to feel more like a loser than you did before you went on NoFap.
It results in regular doses of self-imposed feelings of failure and dejection. Guess what this does to your body's hormonal balance.

But maybe you are really disciplined and determined, and only "relapsed" after 6 months? Shouldn't you feel proud and happy and accomplished?
Well, congratulations, but guess what, it's yet another fail, so back to the start you go, feeling like a loser again.

Where does it end? Where's the progress? When do you win this game?
You can't.


I posted it earlier in this thread, and I'll say it again, just for good measure.
Porn addiction and compulsive masturbation are the symptom, not the cause.
If you are fighting the symptom, you will always lose in the long run.
You have to identify the cause to heal the disease.
Find out what's wrong with your life and fix it.

That's the ugly little secret of NoFap.
It's not self-improvement at all.
It's mental masturbation for people who want to feel like they are doing something, without really making an effort (notice the pattern). And then in the end they can all hug each other after they inevitably "relapse", maybe create some drama or earn pity for their sob story, get some support and engagement and words of encouragement before they start again, and enjoy the fuzzy feeling of not being alone, being part of a group, of having other people care about them and believing in them.

So the only positive emotional feedback you'll ever get on NoFap is when you fail.
Hm, I wonder what this incentive leads to?

And then after that short spike of positivity you go back to feeling like a loser and the whole vicious circle starts again.


So stop being a bitch, and start to fix your life.
Stop counting days, stop treating this like a challenge.
NoFap is a game, a game that never ends, a game that you can't win once you are in.
So the only way to win this game is not to play.

Improve yourself and improve your life, and the urge to watch porn or jerk off will gradually decrease as you discover other, much more sustainable and satisfying ways to get that dopamine hit.

I agree with the sentiment of your post, but with a few additions:

1. Tracking your days is a great way to stay motivated, and remind yourself of what you're trying to accomplish.

2. Like you mention, the greatest way to defeat porn & masturbation is to build a life where you don't have the time, energy, or need for it.

3. Resetting to zero days does not necessarily mean "you failed," and it doesn't mean that "you haven't improved." What it does mean is that you slipped up, that's all. It's important to look critically at the resets and figure out why you cracked, so that you can improve in the future.

Ignoring your resets is ignorant. There's a lot you can learn from your mistakes.

I think three months now...

Reset...

Day one.

This shit is a lot easier when you're having consistent sex with a variety of women.

I'm committing to 90 day NF. I got 3 days right now.

(10-08-2018 10:30 PM)Player_1337 Wrote:  This shit is a lot easier when you're having consistent sex with a variety of women.

Yes and there's two key takeaways from this:

1. The goal should be having sex as much as possible, this shouldn't have to be said.

2. Despite that, there's more value in a sex-less "reset" than one filled with sex.

It's important to watch how your body responds and judge it yourself.

^ I agree with point #2 especially.

It's easy to go without a shitty alternative to sex when you're already getting sex. Doesn't say much about your willpower in that case.

The more I live the more I realize delaying all gratification seems to be the best way to get the most out of life regardless of context. NF is just one example. The times i've gone one or two months with NF and then said "fuck it, just once" and broke the streak I found myself giving into temptation much more in all other areas of life, quite quickly. I guess there's a reason it's NOfap and not "once in a while" fap.

I still fap on a daily/semi-daily basis usually to porn, but there have been periods throughout the year when I went days without it and even in that short period of nofapping I noticed a big difference in my libido and game with real women. Nice to see there are dudes who can attest to genuine benefits of dropping it altogether. Really glad I found this thread. Now I'm going to really try and abstain permanently starting tonight.

Next step after this will be to quit smoking! Any advice on that one (or is there already a thread on that; sorry guys, I'm new to the forum)?

I am about 49 days nofap, although I have had some sexual activity with women in that time.

Nofap and the spiritual aspect of abstinence is overtaking the red pill for me as the most important aspect of my life as far as women goes.

Today I have exuded a glow that a couple of women in my work environment reacted to. Objectively speaking, I looked terrific.

Abstinence from over eating is next most important.

For men who gravitate towards the spiritual side, I think Nofap is fantastic

(10-04-2018 08:01 AM)Belgrano Wrote:  

(10-04-2018 04:57 AM)Mikestar Wrote:  I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?

Snip

You're just bored.

Go do something with your life. Get a girlfriend, make some new friends and get a social life, get a new hobby, lift some weights or do sports, learn something useful, improve yourself. I think most guys who jerk off too much do so because they are bored out of their minds, they have nothing else going on in their lives, no success, nothing that excites them, nothing that gives them a nice dopamine hit. So they turn to porn and choking their dick until it's dead.

Snip

I really really like your post as someone who's a Big Fan of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), but to simplistically boil down Fapping to the bolded part of your Post... Hmmm got an issue with that! If simple boredom & lack of motivation were the cause of extreme Fapping... this thread wouldn't be 169 Pages Long. I myself struggle with Daily food buying... regardless of what's in my fridge... and spent a lot in the process. And I'm still Fit so it's no overeating issue! Outside of this bolded part, I mostly agree with your message. And I would also strongly suggest to all the guys who are struggling with this to give NLP a try!

As per it's NLP's Main tenet, all behaviors we do are done for a positive reason at THE primal level… but then it’s the consequences of that Behavior Messing Up Our Lives. Maybe this will help out you fapping guys who struggle mightily with this! I felt the same way with my eating! One thing’s for sure… all you guys relying on Will Power, like Rorogue mentioned, are sure to lose. Will Power treats the symptoms, but not the causes aka the Frames justifying this behavior to yourself on a Primary level. Until these frames “Pop”, you entire being will continue to think fapping is great on a primary sensory level, even though consciously you deeply want to stop doing it because of it’s destructiveness. Our brain is truly our greatest ally… and our powerful enemy depending on where we stand!

After thinking about this for the Gazilion Time, and getting so-so results with NLP, I angrily said to myself that it makes no sense! I stated to myself that It was as if it was built in for me to physically obtain daily food! Not only to eat like everybody, but to physically obtain it! That was my Ha Ha moment! Ever since I broke this down in details as per NLP Guidelines... it's been going pretty good! I simply have to consciously dissociate the frame of Nourishment & Physically Buying Food! On top of the conventional stuff when it comes to emotional eating, my nervous system somehow linked buying food Daily (which I broke down to Hunting for myself) to living & surviving!

Yeah I know this sounds absolutely retarted... but the bottom line is I've spent $8.17 in the last 2 days with no will power, while I previously had to Will Power myself like crazy, and wrestling back & forth to keep thing down under $30 each for the last 2 days before! Even when I read the books I was like why would anyone think like this… and here’s my Issue, which sounds even more ridiculous! But anyway if you guys wanna check it out the book in question It’s Mind Lines: Lines for Changing Minds by Michael Hall. Normally would like to Amazon… but not anymore!

TL;DR Bolded Part is too simplistic! Will Power won’t work for your Fapping Issues if they are excessive. Somehow a positive frame in your body links fapping to pleasure! To Break the Link Up, give NLP a shot since it currently works wonder for me!

@Captain
I agree, when triggered go do something
I am triggered right now (only slept 3hrs),
I either need to read a novel and go to the gym

(03-05-2017 10:35 PM)Lights Wrote:  

(03-05-2017 08:33 PM)redbeard Wrote:  @Lights

EXCELLENT!

Please expand on the details of your journey. What worked, what didn't work, porn use before, etc.

Ok. So that post from two years ago was just from one week of abstinence.

I recently passed the 30 day mark which I thought was impossible. I'd never done it before in my life. Here's my quick story.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I Went 30 Days Without Porn: Here’s What I Learned.

.....Plus.... the One Thing that made me quit for good....

I used to be very confused about pornography.

Somewhere deep inside I knew there was something wrong about it.

Usually as soon as I’d get that feeling that something was off....

I’d hear or read someone say, “Don’t worry, everyone does it.” Or.. “It’s healthy.”

Healthy or not, I wanted to stop. But I couldn’t seem to do it.

I could never go more than 14 days without reverting back to my old habits ---- surfing porn, looking for that perfect video, violently masturbating with a Jaws of Life grip to the point where my dick was basically beat to s***....

and I would do this maybe once/day-once/3 days. Sometimes I would go on porn binges...

....Because I was bored.

In hindsight, I realize my brain wanted that hit so bad it would feed me any excuse to give in. "Oh don’t worry everybody does it." "It’s healthy..."

Well, something about it didn’t feel right.

Otherwise, I am a "normal" person. Not a virgin at all. I’m good with girls. Socially adept, lift 4-5 days a week and recently made some huge gains of 20lbs of muscle.

Anyways.

I could kick tobacco, drugs, drinking, but it seemed like quitting porn was IMPOSSIBLE. The most I could go would be a week and then I’d go ahead and load a clip and jerk off and not even cum but kinda choke it down back into my penis.

I don’t even know what that’s called.

I decided I would quit come hell or high water. I’m on day 34 now but have decided I will never masturbate to pornography again ever in my life.

I decided to adopt the following beliefs:

1. It’s ok not to release every three days like some people say

2. You can go forever without masturbating and it you will be fine.

3. There is actually potent energy in your cum that if you keep inside, you can transmute like Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich.

4. Watching hardcore pornography is shameful was the main contribution to a deep, underlying sense of inferiority that I felt I had to make up for. I knew that I had a glaring weakness. I knew that this habit had taken control and was not helping, it was destroying me. But I knew that I was in denial about it and kept shoving it deeper and deeper into my subconscious.

5. Porn was damaging my brain…. I could feel it. How? I was objectifying women, I was apathetic, I’d lost some zeal for life. There was a perma-fog in my brain and I felt like I was always behind the curve. It’s like doing coke. A hard hit of dopamine to the brain that can’t be replicated in real life.

Whether any of those things are absolutely factual is kinda irrelevant. I decided I didn’t want to watch porn anymore and actually not even masturbate at all.

So I internalized those beliefs and began the journey.

Enough.

Here’s what happened.

I stopped and started a few times and around 2 week mark I felt like I was in the middle of an ocean… and I was just floating out there, so I’d go back to porn, because it was familiar…. I hadn’t replaced the habit.

What solidified my commitment to no porn and get past that 2 week barrier was this:

1. I bought a full year, one page poster calendar. I Had a red marker. I hung the calendar on my wall, very visibly. And every day that I went without porn or masturbation, I would make a big red X on the calendar.

2. Whenever I lost sight of my goal for whatever reason during that first month. I would look at the calendar and become instantly refocused. I replaced one addiction with the addiction of the red X es accumulating on the wall.

I didn't need porn blockers or anything else. Just the calendar. I have access to pornography 24/7...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Day 14: The first 2 weeks were interesting. I had hardcore dreams and really fight the urge on that second week. The first week is riding the wave off the last time I jacked off. After seven days I’m kinda just recovering from beating the crap out of my dick. My testosterone seems to peak by the seventh day.

At days 10-14 things get deep. What I mean is when walking around, it’s as if I can summon powers through my body and out through my fingers. I’m very aware of the difference and the effect that my will is having on my confidence and on people around me. I have a bit extra energy deep inside now that I can summon as well. I feel righteous and pure.

Day 21: The third week I still have these powers and I’m more calm and am not having such hardcore thoughts.

Matter of fact the thought of porn is unappealing and am starting to have flickers that any hardcore sexuality is bad. I’m repelled by images of hardcore sex…. but the naked form is okay. My dick looks better, the skin of it looks more healthy. And it’s fuller and hangs lower now.

I have a higher standard in women now sexually. Regular or unhealthy girls don’t arouse me anymore. When a girl makes crass sexual remarks about her tits or whatever it rings hollow and pathetic in my mind.

I enjoy a female’s company sometimes as I always have but I am more intently focused on conversation. I notice how the girls I talk to look at me. I’m acutely aware of subtle cues and nonverbal communication. Its subtle, but it’s there. Before I simply didn’t care.

I notice what a girl is saying and challenge people’s inconsistencies when they speak, whereas before I would just let things slide because I didn’t care.

I’ve cried… like a lot. I’ve cried at least 5 times. It’s very strange. But it’s not crying because I’m sad necessarily. I don’t know what it is.

Because of the discipline, I’ve let go of other crutches as well, like certain friends.

My shame is gone and I’m way more aggressive.

Way more productive. I’ve started up a freelance business, on top of my day job, gotten clients, started up a gritty workout routine even though I got rid of my gym membership.. and already gained 3-5 pounds and fulfilled many other goals on a daily basis.

I used my newfound creativity to fashion weights out of regular items I had lying around and the outdoors is my gym. In North Dakota in Winter. My workouts are intense and I don’t need any stimulants.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But....

Just last night...... I got an incredibly strong urge to look for this one particular clip to watch.

To find it, I’d have to search, and in the process, come across hundreds of other hardcore images.....and my brain was going through this process.... and I said “No, are you kidding me.” No way I’m going down that rabbit hole. I realized I didn’t even feel like masturbating. I just wanted to view those images. It was like a drug.

Day 35: I don’t know how I feel now. Certainly not that same triumph that occurred around weeks two or three. I’m in some kind of flatland. But I’m ready to take on other challenges now.

If I was still watching porn there wouldn’t be room for that. No energy. And I would always feel “behind.”

Now I know I am making long-term progress. I’m realizing that the process doesn’t get easier.... because there is always a new goal. But I’m stronger. I’m ready for a new challenge.



P.S. If anyone else is struggling to get past the two week mark, try the calendar method. It's the only thing that worked for me. By the way, I'll answer any questions if I missed anything.

Awful wet dream this night. Had to wake up and clean myself and couldn't fall asleep for an hour.

(10-11-2018 02:02 AM)Rorogue Wrote:  I am about 49 days nofap, although I have had some sexual activity with women in that time.

Nofap and the spiritual aspect of abstinence is overtaking the red pill for me as the most important aspect of my life as far as women goes.

Today I have exuded a glow that a couple of women in my work environment reacted to. Objectively speaking, I looked terrific.

Abstinence from over eating is next most important.

For men who gravitate towards the spiritual side, I think Nofap is fantastic

Nice, I'm only about two weeks in but noticing something similar. I feel like I've unlocked an entire dimension that is invisible to most men, and women are taking notice. Other men, who mostly are addicted to porn and spiritually undeveloped, have ceased to become competition for me.

Can't say nofap is easy though. I'm having a lot of trouble with sleep due to being constantly horny and alert. Slept 4 hours last night and I'm not even tired.

I broke after about 3 weeks. I was doing extremely well, but then I started talking to some bitches on the Hinge app, one chick who lived about an hour away started sending me n00dz and shit, and was sexting me all kinds of risque shit so I ended up breaking the nofap streak.

If you are gonna do this, you really have to avoid all forms of stimulation, not just porn. That of course begs the question of interacting with women.

I'm going to get back on the train here, I'm aiming to go a full month, as I have some work projects and fitness goals I'd like to smash going into the end of the year.

I'm trying this because my dick isn't getting as hard to porn as it used to, sign of tolerance?

Maybe, so I'm definitely quitting, fuck having some sort of ED this young.

Day 1

Hopefully I'll make it the 90 days everyone says makes you fully recover; will still be having sex though. Perhaps it'll lead me to banging more 6s but fuck it.

I want my old hard as rock and fully erect dick back.

I am joining . Day# 1 starts now

(10-24-2018 06:51 PM)Flux Wrote:  I'm trying this because my dick isn't getting as hard to porn as it used to, sign of tolerance?

Maybe, so I'm definitely quitting, fuck having some sort of ED this young.

Day 1

Hopefully I'll make it the 90 days everyone says makes you fully recover; will still be having sex though. Perhaps it'll lead me to banging more 6s but fuck it.

I want my old hard as rock and fully erect dick back.

It won't necessarily be 90 days, it can be less or it can be more. There are some guys who took 6 months or more, depending on severity. Everyone's different, also your recovery will depend not only on quitting porn but also not looking at images, basically any artificial sexual stimuli (screen). The brain needs to be reconditioned to real sex, so banging 6s is fine and can greatly aid recovery.

(01-08-2018 06:52 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  

(01-08-2018 06:25 PM)ViberOne Wrote:  I did 200 days of nofap,

If you really managed to do 200 days, you shoud have a lot more to say and contribute here than the few sound bytes you wrote above.

You should be banned for posting useless nonsense like this. Must be some woman on her period behind this account.