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The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)

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Feo 路 2014-10-05 06:55:00 路 #1058
^didn't get either of these chicks out last night. here's another one...going to try to get her out later today

me: told you i'd text you
her: haha a man of his word
me: yes ma'am. just got home..Still up?
me: almost got in a fight after you left
kaotic 路 2014-10-06 13:22:00 路 #1059
Here's an example I think that could be useful:

Background: My home girl's friend was "intrigued" by me, she's a solid 9, unfortunately has 2 kids. We all finally hung out this weekend and I got her number then bounced to another bar.

An hour later I texted her.

[attachment=21952]

Notes:
-She showed high IOI in her first and IMMEDIATE response to me.
-She responds as soon as I text her continuously.
-I throw off the cocky funny vibe which I use in my texts also "I'm always a good time"
-She's busy but offers me Friday, before I can respond she throws in a shit test "I'm sure I'll bump into you though sooner or later" To me this was a "oh i'm busy, but I'll see you around"
-Once again I throw in a cocky funny line and I give her a direct night, time, and venue.
-She responds mildly sexually, and then confirms meeting me.
-Another cocky response "pencil vs. stone"

I'd say this was handled pretty well - I'll throw in a middle of the week text about her team in the MLB playoffs or hockey.

Any criticism, advice, or suggestions are always welcome Smile
Roardog 路 2014-10-07 00:24:00 路 #1060
Hi guys,

Got a girl I met on tinder and moved to Whatsapp over the weekend. She is heading off to Hong Kong for 2 weeks on Wednesday but I'd like to try and bang her before that if possible so I went for drinks on Tuesday night. She was keen for drinks but wasn't sure if she'd be able to do Tuesday due to preparation for her trip and said she'd touch base with me on Tuesday arvo.
Without prompting she just messaged me with:
"Hey there, I'm sorry I'm still trying to sort out stuff for tomorrow and I won't be able to meet up tonight Sad
Maybe catch you when I get back if you're free?
"

Do I:
A) Try and push the drinks tonight?
B) Tell her it's cool because I won't have to leave training early to see her
C) Tell her to hit me up when she gets back and I'll see if I'm free (or something along those lines?)
D) Some other response?

I'm glad she's keen but I don't really want to wait 2 weeks if I can be in with a shot tonight.
Achilles 路 2014-10-07 02:46:00 路 #1061
(10-07-2014 12:24 AM)Roardog Wrote:  Hi guys,

Got a girl I met on tinder and moved to Whatsapp over the weekend. She is heading off to Hong Kong for 2 weeks on Wednesday but I'd like to try and bang her before that if possible so I went for drinks on Tuesday night. She was keen for drinks but wasn't sure if she'd be able to do Tuesday due to preparation for her trip and said she'd touch base with me on Tuesday arvo.
Without prompting she just messaged me with:
"Hey there, I'm sorry I'm still trying to sort out stuff for tomorrow and I won't be able to meet up tonight Sad
Maybe catch you when I get back if you're free?
"

Do I:
A) Try and push the drinks tonight?
B) Tell her it's cool because I won't have to leave training early to see her
C) Tell her to hit me up when she gets back and I'll see if I'm free (or something along those lines?)
D) Some other response?

I'm glad she's keen but I don't really want to wait 2 weeks if I can be in with a shot tonight.

cool

Restart text in just over 2 weeks
Roardog 路 2014-10-07 07:22:00 路 #1062
(10-07-2014 02:46 AM)Achilles Wrote:  
(10-07-2014 12:24 AM)Roardog Wrote:  Hi guys,

Got a girl I met on tinder and moved to Whatsapp over the weekend. She is heading off to Hong Kong for 2 weeks on Wednesday but I'd like to try and bang her before that if possible so I went for drinks on Tuesday night. She was keen for drinks but wasn't sure if she'd be able to do Tuesday due to preparation for her trip and said she'd touch base with me on Tuesday arvo.
Without prompting she just messaged me with:
"Hey there, I'm sorry I'm still trying to sort out stuff for tomorrow and I won't be able to meet up tonight Sad
Maybe catch you when I get back if you're free?
"

Do I:
A) Try and push the drinks tonight?
B) Tell her it's cool because I won't have to leave training early to see her
C) Tell her to hit me up when she gets back and I'll see if I'm free (or something along those lines?)
D) Some other response?

I'm glad she's keen but I don't really want to wait 2 weeks if I can be in with a shot tonight.

cool

Restart text in just over 2 weeks

Sorry Achilles but I'm glad I didn't listen to you!
Ended up getting her out for a drink although I really need to improve my first date game. I'm struggling to build rapport and keep things light and funny in person.
Got a bit of kino going at the end before I had to call it a night (not even close to getting her back to my place) but messed up going for the end of date kiss, got knocked back and didn't recover well. Pretty pissed at myself.
Will touch base with her in a couple of weeks and see what happens.

Anyway, for those interested this is the conversation:

Girl: Maybe catch up when I get back if you're free?
RD: That's a shame, guess I'll be checking out this new cocktail bar solo.
Girl: Sad Look I'll try really hard to get everything done now and get back to you? No promised though.
Just realised its already 5 though! And it's a Tuesday night haha
What time were you thinking?
RD: I was going anyway so no stress if you can't make it.
I'm going to head there around 8.30.
Otherwise hit me up when you get back from protesting for Chinese democracy (we'd been discussing the protests in HK earlier)
Girl: Haha... how bout I message you when I'm done with my packing and shit to see where you are?
Got a couple of work things to sort out too.
RD: Sure
Girl: Daylight saving is so confusing! Where are you?
RD: Haha, it reallly is! I just got home from the gym. I'm going to shower and wander down to this bar.
Girl: Where is it? I probably should have asked you that before!
RD: <Bar location>
Girl: I'm in <>! It'll take 45 mins to get there. How long you planning on staying for?
Sorry, I just assumed you'd be in the city somewhere.
RD: Depends if you're coming or not.
Haha, you know what they say about assumptions!
Girl: Oh haha yes. Ok, I'll drive which means no drinking Cry
Gimme address.
RD: Google link to address
Girl: Ok leave now
RD: Cool
Libertas 路 2014-10-09 12:26:00 路 #1063
OK so, I picked up this girl the other day and suggested we go get drinks yesterday, but it didn't work out. She was already heading home by the time I received a reply to my offer.

How to strike while the iron is still hot without coming across as beta?

This is a basic question I know, but my text and phone game really does need some work. No problems building attraction and rapport in person but I'm often blowing it on the phone.

I'm thinking I should try to get her out Friday or Saturday, but how should I restart this conversation, and when? I really have come to believe in some of the stuff that Steve Jabba and Chris (GLL) say about striking rapidly, but you never want to sub-communicate bad things, which talking too often risks doing.
vancitygame 路 2014-10-10 12:53:00 路 #1064
(10-09-2014 12:26 PM)Libertas Wrote:  OK so, I picked up this girl the other day and suggested we go get drinks yesterday, but it didn't work out. She was already heading home by the time I received a reply to my offer.

How to strike while the iron is still hot without coming across as beta?

This is a basic question I know, but my text and phone game really does need some work. No problems building attraction and rapport in person but I'm often blowing it on the phone.

I'm thinking I should try to get her out Friday or Saturday, but how should I restart this conversation, and when? I really have come to believe in some of the stuff that Steve Jabba and Chris (GLL) say about striking rapidly, but you never want to sub-communicate bad things, which talking too often risks doing.

A really comfortable/casual re opener is simple and plain, say something like "Hey you" or Any plans tonight? combine them both. Depending on how she replies you will know how she feels towards you.
Roardog 路 2014-10-16 00:47:00 路 #1065
Got this girls number off OKC and trying to set up a date with her.

She tentatively agreed to Wednesday night and then when I checked to see if we were still on she flaked and asked for a reschedule so she could attend a yoga class.
I played it relaxed and said "Cool, I'm free tomorrow night, otherwise next week." She responded with "mmk".
Then a few hours later she starts texting me and I get the innuendo going straight away and she likes it. Also complains how her yoga class was crap which I gave her shit about because she bailed on me for it.

This afternoon I drop her another text
Me: "Tonight?"
Her: "hmmm. I was already meeting my friend. I forgot she planned something... Saturday?"
Me: "Busy Saturday" (This is a first date so I don't do weekends plus I am actually busy)
Her: "I'm on my way there now couple is having an argument on the train. dunno what theyre going on about but the guy is stuffing his face with McDonalds while arguing"

So what do I do next? I'm thinking about just giving her radio silence until Monday or Tuesday then hit her up again.
Or do I try and see when she finishes up with her friend?

I feel I definitely shouldn't engage with her bullshit I'm bored and on the train give me attention message.

I don't say anything and she comes back with..
Her: when then
Me: Tuesday or Wednesday.
Her: busy man u are
Me: I do a lot of things (not sure this was the right thing to say here)
Her: hmmm

I'm getting the feeling this chick could be a waste of time.
Sketness 路 2014-10-16 01:01:00 路 #1066
(10-16-2014 12:47 AM)Roardog Wrote:  Got this girls number off OKC and trying to set up a date with her.

She tentatively agreed to Wednesday night and then when I checked to see if we were still on she flaked and asked for a reschedule so she could attend a yoga class.
I played it relaxed and said "Cool, I'm free tomorrow night, otherwise next week." She responded with "mmk".
Then a few hours later she starts texting me and I get the innuendo going straight away and she likes it. Also complains how her yoga class was crap which I gave her shit about because she bailed on me for it.

This afternoon I drop her another text
Me: "Tonight?"
Her: "hmmm. I was already meeting my friend. I forgot she planned something... Saturday?"
Me: "Busy Saturday" (This is a first date so I don't do weekends plus I am actually busy)
Her: "I'm on my way there now couple is having an argument on the train. dunno what theyre going on about but the guy is stuffing his face with McDonalds while arguing"

So what do I do next? I'm thinking about just giving her radio silence until Monday or Tuesday then hit her up again.
Or do I try and see when she finishes up with her friend?

I feel I definitely shouldn't engage with her bullshit I'm bored and on the train give me attention message.

this bitch does not feel the urgency to commit... so you need to create a bidding war.

text her this- yea wednsday works, u bring da wine

when she ask who this was to say- when r u free

This should focus her by letting her know that she is not the only one out there and that you could give a fuck about what she's doing.
ElJefe 路 2014-10-17 09:59:00 路 #1067
If a girl responds very enthusiastically to your first message (Tinder) and you have great discussion, then you make joke that offends her, what do you do then?

I tried with "what? so you can't even take a joke?" but that didn't work. Would be good to hear how to reframe so I avoid this error next time.
AneroidOcean 路 2014-10-17 13:37:00 路 #1068
(10-16-2014 12:47 AM)Roardog Wrote:  She responded with "mmk".
Her: "hmmm."
Her: hmmm

I'm getting the feeling this chick could be a waste of time.

With girls you truly have to read in between the lines. I fixed everything you said by bolding the last line and cutting everything she said except the important parts.

Now you no longer have to read between the lines. She's a complete tease or PERHAPS a "maybe" girl.

Could go major escalation and send her a dick pic or you can minimize your interaction entirely and only go for logistics.

Alternately you could just make fun of her and say "hmm" and "mmmk" to everything she says. She sounds like a cunt.

(10-17-2014 09:59 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  If a girl responds very enthusiastically to your first message (Tinder) and you have great discussion, then you make joke that offends her, what do you do then?

I tried with "what? so you can't even take a joke?" but that didn't work. Would be good to hear how to reframe so I avoid this error next time.

Could you provide more of the interaction? Needs more context.
ElJefe 路 2014-10-18 05:41:00 路 #1069
Well, it's about six weeks ago now, so can't remember exactly. But the convo was going well, then I told her I was from abroad, and then she wrote:

"oooh! so what brings you here?"
"im here to pillage and make off with the maidens" after which I added "but originally my because my parents moved here"

then she didnt answer. I waited a couple of days then wrote

"woot? you can't even take a joke?" with a grinning smiley. No response. Clearly it's not funny, but I'm a bit surprised it destroyed the interaction.
Roardog 路 2014-10-19 00:39:00 路 #1070
(10-17-2014 01:37 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  
(10-16-2014 12:47 AM)Roardog Wrote:  She responded with "mmk".
Her: "hmmm."
Her: hmmm

I'm getting the feeling this chick could be a waste of time.

With girls you truly have to read in between the lines. I fixed everything you said by bolding the last line and cutting everything she said except the important parts.

Now you no longer have to read between the lines. She's a complete tease or PERHAPS a "maybe" girl.

Could go major escalation and send her a dick pic or you can minimize your interaction entirely and only go for logistics.

Alternately you could just make fun of her and say "hmm" and "mmmk" to everything she says. She sounds like a cunt.

Yeah, thanks, you're confirming what I already thought. It's a shame because I really wanted to get my Canadian flag (they're hard to come by here in Australia) and she looks like she has a tight body.
She text me over this weekend as well, "hiya", but I'm giving her radio silence until the weekends over and then will try one more time for a date. If she flakes again then I'm deleting her number.
dancingjohn 路 2014-10-20 10:41:00 路 #1071
Girl: So.. You are kinda sexy, huh

What's to be said here ? This was out of the blue text. The convo before this was just trying to figure out logistics. Although I already replied to this, I was very sleepy then and not sure if it was the best reply.
MrXY 路 2014-10-20 10:54:00 路 #1072
Well, what did you say?
dancingjohn 路 2014-10-20 11:03:00 路 #1073
You are adorable.

The convo went fine after that. Nothing wrong so far. But trying to see a better reply for next time.
AneroidOcean 路 2014-10-20 16:52:00 路 #1074
(10-18-2014 05:41 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  Well, it's about six weeks ago now, so can't remember exactly. But the convo was going well, then I told her I was from abroad, and then she wrote:

"oooh! so what brings you here?"
"im here to pillage and make off with the maidens" after which I added "but originally my because my parents moved here"

then she didnt answer. I waited a couple of days then wrote

"woot? you can't even take a joke?" with a grinning smiley. No response. Clearly it's not funny, but I'm a bit surprised it destroyed the interaction.

Inconclusive, but I think you could've come up with a funnier, yet shorter response. Problem is that she could've been offended by the joke or bored by it. You also fell into her frame by sending the second "actual" reason.

Also, I wouldn't have assumed she couldn't take a joke with the ping text. Better to send her a picture or text about something fun going on for her to join you at. You can't really know if it was your joke or she just lost interest or was distracted by the myriad of things that she could have vying for her attention. If her interest level wasn't high enough which is what it seems like I doubt she would've been worth any more effort anyway.
ElJefe 路 2014-10-20 17:33:00 路 #1075
(10-20-2014 04:52 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  You also fell into her frame by sending the second "actual" reason.

Also, I wouldn't have assumed she couldn't take a joke with the ping text. Better to send her a picture or text about something fun going on for her to join you at. You can't really know if it was your joke or she just lost interest or was distracted by the myriad of things that she could have vying for her attention. If her interest level wasn't high enough which is what it seems like I doubt she would've been worth any more effort anyway.

That's good advice about sending a photo. Will do next time. Falling into the girls frame is still a mistake I make, even after these many years.

I dont think the interest level was too low because until the joke she was pretty fast at sending messages and asking lots of questions.

I suppose I could try at a later point to reopen the interaction if she posts something asking for advice.
Griprip08 路 2014-10-20 23:26:00 路 #1076
(10-20-2014 10:41 AM)dancingjohn Wrote:  Girl: So.. You are kinda sexy, huh

What's to be said here ? This was out of the blue text. The convo before this was just trying to figure out logistics. Although I already replied to this, I was very sleepy then and not sure if it was the best reply.

Next time...

"Don't remind me"

"I deal with it"

"Blame my parents"

"Kinda? You're harsh"
reco2100 路 2014-10-22 10:30:00 路 #1077
So here is an interesting one. Met this chick online about three weeks ago. We met chemistry was good. We had good comfort and banged on the first night. She is only 18 and in college but seems to really be into me. We planned on meeting up the following week which is this week. I find out her schedule and we plan to get together when she is free. So this morning I am following up for our meetup tonight.

Me: Goodmorning 9:58 AM
Her: Good morning I dont think I can make it today trying to get out if dance practice 10:02 AM (she never mentioned dance practice before)
Me: K...maybe some other time 11:05 AM (I kept my interval long)
Her: Wow.. don't have to be so stern about it 11:10 AM
Me: Lol...stern? 11:16 AM
Her: Forget it 11:19 AM

I am sure this is a frame issue and her trying to control the frame. This chick is hot, and a great fuck especially for an 18YO but I am perfectly willing to walk away if needed. What would you guys do? My first impulse is to say nothing and go silent for about a week.
kaotic 路 2014-10-22 11:23:00 路 #1078
(10-22-2014 10:30 AM)reco2100 Wrote:  So here is an interesting one. Met this chick online about three weeks ago. We met chemistry was good. We had good comfort and banged on the first night. She is only 18 and in college but seems to really be into me. We planned on meeting up the following week which is this week. I find out her schedule and we plan to get together when she is free. So this morning I am following up for our meetup tonight.

Me: Goodmorning 9:58 AM
Her: Good morning I dont think I can make it today trying to get out if dance practice 10:02 AM (she never mentioned dance practice before)
Me: K...maybe some other time 11:05 AM (I kept my interval long)
Her: Wow.. don't have to be so stern about it 11:10 AM
Me: Lol...stern? 11:16 AM
Her: Forget it 11:19 AM

I am sure this is a frame issue and her trying to control the frame. This chick is hot, and a great fuck especially for an 18YO but I am perfectly willing to walk away if needed. What would you guys do? My first impulse is to say nothing and go silent for about a week.

I think you know the answer.

I didn't see any malice in what you said, you obviously bruised her ego.

Don't reply let that marinate in her head, she might text you apologizing, if not, a restart text next week will work fine.

Good news is, at least you got the bang.
reco2100 路 2014-10-22 11:42:00 路 #1079
Thanks brothers that's what I will do. She is very hot and was sweet so far. But I think like most hot chicks she is used to getting her way.

Appreciate the feedback. This forum is awesome.
kaotic 路 2014-10-22 11:56:00 路 #1080
(10-22-2014 11:42 AM)reco2100 Wrote:  Thanks brothers that's what I will do. She is very hot and was sweet so far. But I think like most hot chicks she is used to getting her way.

Appreciate the feedback. This forum is awesome.

That you met online....that you banged on the first meet up - remember that.

Don't pedestalize her, you don't think she's doing this with other guys ?

Take it for what it is and keep on banging.
AneroidOcean 路 2014-10-23 04:42:00 路 #1081
(10-22-2014 10:30 AM)reco2100 Wrote:  So here is an interesting one. Met this chick online about three weeks ago. We met chemistry was good. We had good comfort and banged on the first night. She is only 18 and in college but seems to really be into me. We planned on meeting up the following week which is this week. I find out her schedule and we plan to get together when she is free. So this morning I am following up for our meetup tonight.

Me: Goodmorning 9:58 AM
Her: Good morning I dont think I can make it today trying to get out if dance practice 10:02 AM (she never mentioned dance practice before)
Me: K...maybe some other time 11:05 AM (I kept my interval long)
Her: Wow.. don't have to be so stern about it 11:10 AM
Me: Lol...stern? 11:16 AM
Her: Forget it 11:19 AM

I am sure this is a frame issue and her trying to control the frame. This chick is hot, and a great fuck especially for an 18YO but I am perfectly willing to walk away if needed. What would you guys do? My first impulse is to say nothing and go silent for about a week.

After she semi-flaked much better to just say something ambiguous like "k" or "hmm" or even no response at all

I think you also made a mistake saying "Lol...stern?" as in backing off from your statement. Next time something like, "?" or "practice practice practice makes [her name] a dull girl"

Turn the frame around, or go silent, definitely.
reco2100 路 2014-10-23 10:11:00 路 #1082
(10-23-2014 04:42 AM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  
(10-22-2014 10:30 AM)reco2100 Wrote:  So here is an interesting one. Met this chick online about three weeks ago. We met chemistry was good. We had good comfort and banged on the first night. She is only 18 and in college but seems to really be into me. We planned on meeting up the following week which is this week. I find out her schedule and we plan to get together when she is free. So this morning I am following up for our meetup tonight.

Me: Goodmorning 9:58 AM
Her: Good morning I dont think I can make it today trying to get out if dance practice 10:02 AM (she never mentioned dance practice before)
Me: K...maybe some other time 11:05 AM (I kept my interval long)
Her: Wow.. don't have to be so stern about it 11:10 AM
Me: Lol...stern? 11:16 AM
Her: Forget it 11:19 AM

I am sure this is a frame issue and her trying to control the frame. This chick is hot, and a great fuck especially for an 18YO but I am perfectly willing to walk away if needed. What would you guys do? My first impulse is to say nothing and go silent for about a week.

After she semi-flaked much better to just say something ambiguous like "k" or "hmm" or even no response at all

I think you also made a mistake saying "Lol...stern?" as in backing off from your statement. Next time something like, "?" or "practice practice practice makes [her name] a dull girl"

Turn the frame around, or go silent, definitely.

AO thanks for the tips. I see exactly what you mean.

@Kaotic, I think you are right. Even though she is only 18 I can see her wheels turning. And yes I do have another scheduled for tonight. We will see how it goes. She is not as good looking but she seems like fun.

Also an update. I did not need to go silent very long. She reached out to me last night with some kind of relationship question. I did not answer until late and then did not answer her question. Just said "whats up" like nothing is going on.

She answered me back this morning like she totally forgot about the orginal question. Then telling me she is real sick.

My analysis is that she is full of shit, trying to get me in the boyfriend mode and is going through her rollodex to get me into line. She is hot looking and is probably used to guys falling into line with her.

So I replied that too bad, I was going to see if she wanted to hang out but since she is sick some other time. lol

It is just like you guys said it is. Little discipline on my side and she keeps contacting me. lol
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