Ignore as it if it didn't happen and keep things friendly.

Messaged back and forth with a good looking Brazilian girl. She eventually gave me her cell number and we moved offline to text.
She is still in Brazil but will be arriving the second week of January.

I don't want to become her text buddy but I do want to keep her on a slow burn for when she gets here. Suggested intervals of when to text?

I figured maybe once a week when I am doing something interesting. Let her know what she is missing out on. Thoughts?

CP

(12-07-2016 09:03 PM)Caractacus Potts Wrote:  Messaged back and forth with a good looking Brazilian girl. She eventually gave me her cell number and we moved offline to text.
She is still in Brazil but will be arriving the second week of January.

I don't want to become her text buddy but I do want to keep her on a slow burn for when she gets here. Suggested intervals of when to text?

I figured maybe once a week when I am doing something interesting. Let her know what she is missing out on. Thoughts?

CP

In this day and age I'm inclined to not text her at all. Worst case scenario is you keep your dignity. When she's back in town you can shoot a quick msg.

As I get older this stuff matters less and less, but I had a weird experience.

Had a reasonably good first date, when one considers this girl is pretty reserved (introverted and cautious, but she's actually pretty high class), did a second date that kinda tanked (not so much chemistry). So I figured ok fuck it, that was that. I didn't even bother trying to kiss her but said a curt goodbye and left.

She texted me today "Thanks for yesterday, had a good time and I really like you, but didn't feel the spark. I think it'd be great to see each other as friends, so how about a coffee next week?"

I'm sitting and thinking that's odd as fuck. But I suppose if she's buying no skin off my nose (except time).

(12-09-2016 09:08 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  As I get older this stuff matters less and less, but I had a weird experience.

Had a reasonably good first date, when one considers this girl is pretty reserved (introverted and cautious, but she's actually pretty high class), did a second date that kinda tanked (not so much chemistry). So I figured ok fuck it, that was that. I didn't even bother trying to kiss her but said a curt goodbye and left.

She texted me today "Thanks for yesterday, had a good time and I really like you, but didn't feel the spark. I think it'd be great to see each other as friends, so how about a coffee next week?"

I'm sitting and thinking that's odd as fuck. But I suppose if she's buying no skin off my nose (except time).

No. You lose more than time. You'll lose a little dignity and part of your soul. Even the time to set up a non-date is time you could spend looking for someone else.

No spark for a relationship should mean even less spark for a friendship.

(12-09-2016 09:47 AM)TornadoByProxy Wrote:  

(12-09-2016 09:08 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  As I get older this stuff matters less and less, but I had a weird experience.

Had a reasonably good first date, when one considers this girl is pretty reserved (introverted and cautious, but she's actually pretty high class), did a second date that kinda tanked (not so much chemistry). So I figured ok fuck it, that was that. I didn't even bother trying to kiss her but said a curt goodbye and left.

She texted me today "Thanks for yesterday, had a good time and I really like you, but didn't feel the spark. I think it'd be great to see each other as friends, so how about a coffee next week?"

I'm sitting and thinking that's odd as fuck. But I suppose if she's buying no skin off my nose (except time).

No. You lose more than time. You'll lose a little dignity and part of your soul. Even the time to set up a non-date is time you could spend looking for someone else.

No spark for a relationship should mean even less spark for a friendship.

Depends. If she has cute friends she may be worth going to coffee with on a friendly level, if she gets him into parties and events with her cute friends. But it depends on the nature of the conversation. If she's driving it somewhere with an agenda, and it's not the direction ElJefe hopes the coffee date wanted to go, then can duck out.

Try to line up another date or something else in close proximity to the coffee store or even show up early and hit on girls there before she rolls up. Lots of options here. Point is to have fun.

ElJefe were you doing any physical escalation?

In the future, keep escalating with the introverts but use judgement on the approach velocity.
Recently I had a first date with a very inexperienced, reserved girl and every time I got close to her she would pull away, but not violently or like she was getting annoyed. This went on for a while, got her everywhere. She was also refusing to step near my bedroom (yeah I got her back to my place with little physical escalation other than some taps and guidance every now and then on her back/arms). Felt it wasn't a good time so was walking her back and found a great spot, pulled her in, and kissed her. Turns out she had been nervous as fuck the entire time for about 10 different response.

Very little physical, rookie mistake. But there was zero chance I was gonna kiss her, even if she wanted me to (forgot my bloody toothbrush). I doubt she's a party fiend.

I'm inclined to say "sure, your treat" and treat it as free practice since I'm so out of shape. Luckily for me I have a devoted girlfriend with whom I have automatic good game so maybe this could work out okay.

Anyone else matching texts response times? Sometimes I'll text a chick and if she takes hours/days to respond, I literally set a reminder to respond after the time has lapsed as she did. Maybe I'm just petty like that

Heartiste recommended multiplying her response time by 1.5-2

I mix it up, sometimes I respond in a few minutes, sometimes a few hours or the next day.

Most of the time I just forget to text the girls back.

1.5-2 is a pretty good threshold

I'm stuck here. I think this may be a shit test.

Texting with this one chick that I've already banged;

She; why weren't you at the party? (party was at our college city)
Me; I'm in (my hometown) plus it's great to be away from our small college town for a while.
She; why do you think so?
Me; I've got my boys here I prefer going out with them here.
She; More than with me?

Edit:
Replied with:
Me: it depends.
She: what is this supposed to mean?
Me: I'll show you when I'm back in town.
She: I'm curious now.
And then she follows with; I feel so hangovered bla bla.

Solved this by myself. Shouldn't post it here.

(12-06-2016 02:24 AM)Lime Wrote:  How about another one, after I proposed a girl i met on a party via Facebook to do X activity:

"hey sorry for the late reaction but I'm currrently dating someone but thanks for the offer because X activity is way too much fun"

When you meet a girl at a party, first thing is to make sure that you have an activity lined up that you want to invite her to, preferably something that "organically" came up during conversation. After that, it won't be creepy to slide into her DMs, Snapface her or send her a text - do it the way you want. I've noticed that sometimes Whatsapp is better bc some girls don't have a plan with texting included.

(12-09-2016 09:08 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  She texted me today "Thanks for yesterday, had a good time and I really like you, but didn't feel the spark. I think it'd be great to see each other as friends, so how about a coffee next week?"

As I get older, I feel like my time is worth more and more, so I'd probably respond "yeah, sure thing!" and then let it slide, and probably blow off any attempts at an actual meet-up. I've got way better things to be doing than meeting up some girl for coffee, it could even be leveling up in WoW .

You can always come back later on with a well-timed text inviting her out if you keep in contact, but if you meet for coffee any sexual intrigue that may have been there will well and truly evaporate.

I suppose that's a risk. Weigh that against risk of coming across as petty by blowing her off. Better if the excuse seems genuine enough?

Matched on tinder today, very pretty 24yr old.

Me: Sushi n chill?
Her: Haha well that depends - where are we getting the sushi - or are you making it - oiled up - wearing those tight shorts (wink emoji)

Not sure which way to play this, I look good in the pic she's referring to so she could be keen but at only 24 years old, I smell beta bait.

^ major shit test. she's talking to you like you're the girl. Do you want to be the girl oiling yourself up and wearing tight jeans? If you don't stand up for yourself she won't even respond again.

"I don't care where you get the sushi and we're both going to be oiled up"

Medium are you getting these girls numbers first ? or just directly asking them online ?

TBP yeah it sounded to me like something an old cougar would say to a young guy, not the other way around, so shit test agreed.

I the end I just ignored that part and went with you bring it, I'll make it. No response yet.

Kaotic that was just my tinder opener and her response.
If they respond positively to my opener I normally just go for the number straight away by suggesting we get a drink sometime.
They mostly give it straight away but one or two will shit test first before giving it.

A lot of them comment in some way that they appreciate the directness of my approach.

Its obviously not normal these days.

What you text to her is doesn't matter imo. If she interested in you she will find a way to fuck you.

I accidentally text a "k" to girl and she replied with

+ " what do you mean with it?"
- " nothing, i accidentally did it. "

And then she started to pursue me aggressively afterwards.

Guys need to find girls which already into them.

^^ Agree, be your best self and wait for them to show themselves.
Obviously the better you are, the more there will be.

Related to this point, I never chase but will play my part once a girl has submitted and I feel has put herself out there enough for me.

Initially it's a power game and girls are good at it, starting off subtly, trying to trick you into doing the chasing.

It can take time with some girls but because i'm not desperate or afraid to lose them I can always out wait them and take a sick sense of pleasure when they finally break and reach out first lol.

Sometimes if they've made a good fight of it, to avoid a repeat struggle further down the line they need to well and truly understand they are chasing you and not vice versa so I will drag it out longer, making them do all the running.

Many won't because their interest isn't strong enough but those that do bite, bite hard on this and it's plain sailing from there on.

This was a pickup from a dance club on Saturday. I'm in college and the semester is almost over, but I found out her hometown is right next to mine. Made out, the chicks friend said they were leaving and she genuinely looked sad. Handed her my phone and she put in her first and last name.

Sunday 1pm me: Hey "girl" this is Newguy. Nice meeting you last night
2pm her: Oh hey, what's up? Yeah it was nice meeting you too!
4pm me: I'm studying! When are you headed back home?
5pm her: I think I'm leaving tomorrow morning
8pm me: Come meet me for coffee at "place" on Wednesday at 2!

No reply. Probably dead in the water, but I want to get your thoughts.

(12-13-2016 05:46 PM)newguy Wrote:  This was a pickup from a dance club on Saturday. I'm in college and the semester is almost over, but I found out her hometown is right next to mine. Made out, the chicks friend said they were leaving and she genuinely looked sad. Handed her my phone and she put in her first and last name.

Sunday 1pm me: Hey "girl" this is Newguy. Nice meeting you last night
2pm her: Oh hey, what's up? Yeah it was nice meeting you too!
4pm me: I'm studying! When are you headed back home?
5pm her: I think I'm leaving tomorrow morning
8pm me: Come meet me for coffee at "place" on Wednesday at 2!

No reply. Probably dead in the water, but I want to get your thoughts.

"you die?" on Thursday night at the earliest.

Possibilities:

1. She wanted to fuck that night, she has a BF in your hometown.
2. She's busy moving back home/with family.
3. She wasn't as interested as you think.
4. She didn't see your text (it didn't come through...very unlikely).

In all cases, the Thursday night at the earliest time-frame is best. You have shit to do, no need to follow up.

However, I'm going to break it to you that if she had anything but real serious interest, your text game may have killed any continued attraction. Breaking it down:

Quote:Sunday 1pm me: Hey "girl" this is Newguy. Nice meeting you last night

Throughout you are way too literal/formal. If she's reading your texts like a book, what kind of book do you want to be? A history/science dry/formal text, or a fantasy romance novel? Okay, you can't/don't want to be Fabio, okay, but don't be Stephen Hawking. Some simple suggestions:

"Hey [red scarf]"

"Hey softlips"

"Hey [girl's name], was fun making you blush"

Quote: 2pm her: Oh hey, what's up? Yeah it was nice meeting you too!

Doesn't sound that positive. If she had put the exclamation point after the what's up part, then it'd look more positive. The "Yeah it was nice meeting you too!" reads like fake positivity.

Quote: 4pm me: I'm studying! When are you headed back home?

Again, what image are you trying to paint in her head? That you're excited about studying? You're excited to talk to her about what you're doing? You answer her question directly, logically. You're falling into her frame. I would feel weird if you were a male classmate and you responded to me with excitement about studying. Why would it be any LESS weird for her?

Okay, some suggestions:

"Your lips were nice"

"back home?"

"come in an hour" (mistaken text play, get her intrigued)

Quote: 5pm her: I think I'm leaving tomorrow morning

You probably lost this long before, but she says she "thinks" she's leaving tomorrow morning. The girl knows when she's leaving otherwise she would explain or ask if you'll be heading home soon or find out your schedule or make some other ploy to have you see her.

Quote: 8pm me: Come meet me for coffee at "place" on Wednesday at 2!

No, why is she worth your time with these non-invested answers of hers?

Why are you EXCITED to invite her to coffee when she's gone from fake enthusiastic to obviously fake answer?

This might sound harsh, but you must've had way better game in person. This means you can improve a lot over text. Go read the rest of this thread and the newbie text guide and pick up as much as you can. Experiment with girls you're not interested in, game your friends. See how they respond to you.

I'm typing all this shit up in sentences and with correct grammar/punctuation in hopes that you'll read it and process it (and it's the forum rules). If I had the benefit of body language and we were sitting across from each other I'd be laughing and telling you all this in about a quarter of the words. I'd probably also be seeking out dateable girls to fuck with showing them the texts to analyze her interest so you can see how quickly this kind of texting dries up their mental vagina right in front of you.

Link for the noobie text guide? -are you talking about the one roosh wrote up?

(12-14-2016 02:08 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  Link for the noobie text guide? -are you talking about the one roosh wrote up?

I thought there was a separate newbie texting guide, but that one is good. Best to just go right to this thread.

(12-12-2016 05:40 PM)MediumRare Wrote:  Matched on tinder today, very pretty 24yr old.

Me: Sushi n chill?
Her: Haha well that depends - where are we getting the sushi - or are you making it - oiled up - wearing those tight shorts (wink emoji)

Not sure which way to play this, I look good in the pic she's referring to so she could be keen but at only 24 years old, I smell beta bait.

Come on guys this is the best kind of response you can get.

Shes trying to be playful and flirty. Disagree about this being a shit test.

Think about it, what is she supposed to respond with:
1- yes from 1st message?
2- no fuck off
3- mmm maybe once i get to know you
4- go on a rant about how youre only after hookups
5- at least tries to be playful

Shes not thinking im gonna out alpha this dude. Dont treat it as a testosterone affirming tug of war just yet or youll kill the vibe.