Stakes,
Drop the age discussion. If she fetishizes it, then let her. But you shouldn't.
I also wouldn't sexualize too quickly via text. Women her age want the fantasy that they're 30 again. Sell her that.
Your swimming line is good, just drop the hot tub part. Just let that happen that day if it does.

Good advice tornado

I know sometimes being precise and sexual in texts feels like a time saving groundwork to escalate but much better to drop the hot tub part and just let things happen.

Also agree on not hammering on the age thing. She will bring it up again maybe but don't get into an argument of you convincing her. Pivot away from it or just ignore it.

(11-30-2016 08:33 PM)Sam Malone Wrote:  

(11-30-2016 04:59 PM)kaotic Wrote:  You reached out to her twice and she gave you no response and she's local and logged in. Sounds dead to me.

I'd of sent her a snap of you doing something cool, get her interest aroused.

Or send a honeypot snap of your body, moon her, dick pick, whatever (more of a nuclear option).

If she saw it and didn't reply then it's a dead lead man.

Thanks Kaotic,

I read your reply almost immediately after you posted it, and was going to go with the nuclear option shortly after that.. at first..

While debating on the right pic to arm the warhead with, I had one of my regulars text me, wanting to come by for, among other things, my homemade bacon mac and cheese dinner. Dinner, smashed, and the regular was out the door.

Tinder girl knew I had tonight or tomorrow available. To send a pic of 'something cool' and/or launching the nuke tonight would have reaked of desperation.

I may still go nuclear tomorrow, especially based on the content of her and my exchanges leading up to my making this post. Not completely sure yet. Eh, I'll decide in the morning.

I do want to give props to whoever said the line (it's also someone's sig line) about having options and choices or something. 'Game gives you choices, choices give you options'. I can't remember the exact quote, but it's the absolute truth.

I'm somewhat confident this is a dead lead now, but there's a question at the end regarding how I might have handled it differently:

Went nuclear early Friday afternoon. Sent a pic via Snapchat.

She responded around 5:00, she just got out of work and she's horny. She sent a few more pics, I wasn't able to meet up yesterday. Maybe tomorrow afternoon (Saturday/today). She wasn't sure.

I sent a Snap message this morning, I'd be around early afternoon. She had some stuff to do, but if she got done early, would let me know.

In the meantime, I deleted my Tinder account and created another one, using a different first name, but mostly the same profile. Started swiping, and ended up swiping on her again.

A little while later, she sends me a Snap with a pic of the new profile, asking why I deleted my old one.

Me: "That one was old, I gotta mix things up lol"
Me: "I was getting a lot of glitches, too. So I deleted and started another one"
Her: "But you changed the name and got a new FB too"
Me: "Yeah. That profile's pretty direct, I was getting matches on a few people that knew friends of mine."

She hasn't responded since, at this point I'm considering this lead dead.

I kind of stumbled with an answer regarding the new profile. That said, how should I have responded when asked about the new profile ?

Hey guys, I used to be member "Cicero" here, but some time went by, used a burner email address, forgot my password and well it's good to be back.  

Pipelining in Rio for a trip there for a week. Having lots of matches and a surplus of dates set up. The hottest girl I matched with sends me a message, this is the gist of the exchange.  

"Hi, do you live here?"
"I might move to Rio in February. I'm visiting now for 10 days to see if i like it" 
"You're gorgeous, but I'm looking for someone who lives in Rio"
"Thanks you too. Well I might live there soon" "We should meet up" 
"Let's meet when you are living here"

Any thoughts on how to push for the meet up, without looking like too needy? I usually just play it on the aloof side, but can't do it here obviously.

I had a fun first date, didn't kiss, which isn't a good sign.

Now I proposed a second date, which she replies with

"don't know.."

What should I text?

(12-05-2016 03:47 PM)Lime Wrote:  I had a fun first date, didn't kiss, which isn't a good sign.

Now I proposed a second date, which she replies with

"don't know.."

What should I text?

Why didn't you kiss her on the date ?
Did you try to kiss her and she rejected you ?
Where were you towards the end of the date ?

Her saying "don't know" is her soft nexting you.

^
If a date goes like this:

-We go to a bar, stay for 1-1.5 Hour, seated at a table, possibly a second bar afterwards, try to ask them home but then they leave.

What goes wrong in these dates (aside from that some girls are just not attracted)?? Is this a bad date recipe?

Nothing is wrong with the date itself ,it's more so what you do and talk about on the date. A bar date is ideal, so if I where you I'd focus on having fun on these dates, OVER just trying to get through the date so that you can ask them home.

Girls sense when people have alternate motives, so projecting a genially pure motive will most like get you further than your getting now

(12-05-2016 04:44 PM)Lime Wrote:  ^
If a date goes like this:

-We go to a bar, stay for 1-1.5 Hour, seated at a table, possibly a second bar afterwards, try to ask them home but then they leave.

What goes wrong in these dates (aside from that some girls are just not attracted)?? Is this a bad date recipe?

It's not a bad date recipe, but just like with baking something - you may have all the right ingredients - it's how you put the ingredients and mix them together that's also important.

In your case these are leaving because of your game during the date.

First dates can be fun at a bar as long as it can be interactive (say a pool table to go to at the bar)

I always bounce to a second venue to loosen them up, I don't "ask" a date to go home with me, I drop bait to see if she'd be interested in heading to my house to check out X thing or see X movie or whatever. I'll say things like "you should check out the floors I just finished" "my rifle I just built" or "we should see X movie again !" and see how she responds verbally and physically.

You're basically guiding a suggestion and planting it in their mind - you've got two venues to game her and convince her to come home with you.

She's out on a date with you, it's your job to not fuck up or scare her away, it's your job to make her feel comfortable with you, enough to come to your pad.

Thanks. Have to note often those girls are tinder dates and they've never seen me before so it can be both my game or my looks.

How about another one, after I proposed a girl i met on a party via Facebook to do X activity:

"hey sorry for the late reaction but I'm currrently dating someone but thanks for the offer because X activity is way too much fun"

(12-06-2016 02:24 AM)Lime Wrote:  Thanks. Have to note often those girls are tinder dates and they've never seen me before so it can be both my game or my looks.

How about another one, after I proposed a girl i met on a party via Facebook to do X activity:

"hey sorry for the late reaction but I'm currrently dating someone but thanks for the offer because X activity is way too much fun"

So ? Not an excuse.

Most of my bangs are from online dating, because of my lifestyle, it's hard to approach women often in person.

You should be doing some collective intel work before meeting to see if they're worth your time.

See if you can find their FB, common friends, their Instagram, etc.

Also having her send confirmation selfie of who she is works, and you can send a pic of you fresh out of the gym or doing something fun or whatever.

At this point it definitely sounds like it's your game, not your looks.


Girl from Facebook politely declined your offer to hangout - why you're even trying to game girls on FB is questionable to me.

I'd ask again,

Why didn't you game her in person?
Why didn't you get her number when you met her at a party?
Did you even attempt to flirt or game her ?
Did she add you on FB or did you add her ?

(12-06-2016 01:18 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(12-06-2016 02:24 AM)Lime Wrote:  Thanks. Have to note often those girls are tinder dates and they've never seen me before so it can be both my game or my looks.

How about another one, after I proposed a girl i met on a party via Facebook to do X activity:

"hey sorry for the late reaction but I'm currrently dating someone but thanks for the offer because X activity is way too much fun"

1. At this point it definitely sounds like it's your game, not your looks.


2. Girl from Facebook politely declined your offer to hangout - why you're even trying to game girls on FB is questionable to me.

I'd ask again,

Why didn't you game her in person?
Why didn't you get her number when you met her at a party?
Did you even attempt to flirt or game her ?
Did she add you on FB or did you add her ?

I might add that I'm 5'7" (5'8" or more with the right shoes) and that could turn some girls off.

On case two, excuse me if I wasn't clear, I met her at a house party and added her on Facebook afterwards on which I proposed the date.

(12-06-2016 03:03 PM)Lime Wrote:  I might add that I'm 5'7" (5'8" or more with the right shoes) and that could turn some girls off.

On case two, excuse me if I wasn't clear, I met her at a house party and added her on Facebook afterwards on which I proposed the date.

Nah don't add your height, don't even mention unless she asks, if she does you call tell her, or tease her by making some absurd height claim, or whatever.

I'm pretty sure I'm 5'8 so it's not height that's your problem.

Case two, is weak. You should be getting her number - not adding her on FB afterwards - some girls would see it as creepy when you slide into their inbox.

Might as well go for the number in person then look thirsty trying to get it on FB. Doing that, you're at a disadvantage and she's got the power.

(12-06-2016 03:03 PM)Lime Wrote:  

(12-06-2016 01:18 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(12-06-2016 02:24 AM)Lime Wrote:  Thanks. Have to note often those girls are tinder dates and they've never seen me before so it can be both my game or my looks.

How about another one, after I proposed a girl i met on a party via Facebook to do X activity:

"hey sorry for the late reaction but I'm currrently dating someone but thanks for the offer because X activity is way too much fun"

1. At this point it definitely sounds like it's your game, not your looks.


2. Girl from Facebook politely declined your offer to hangout - why you're even trying to game girls on FB is questionable to me.

I'd ask again,

Why didn't you game her in person?
Why didn't you get her number when you met her at a party?
Did you even attempt to flirt or game her ?
Did she add you on FB or did you add her ?

EDIT: in case two I was quite bold and tried to kiss her a couple of times and she at first continued as of not much happened and later she went away, she went home quite early. But point taken mostly.

But the girl from case 2:

"hey sorry for the late reaction but I'm currrently dating someone but thanks for the offer because X activity is way too much fun"

I feel that she liked me somewhat and could very well date another guy, and she was with her friends as well so she couldn't act too loose maybe.

Would there still be a good response or should I forget it with her for now until I see her again on some point?

Like I said she politely declined your offer, next her.

Just say its all good, see you around and move on to other girls, you're spending way too much energy with this one.

And for the next tinder dates I lined up, one final question, how do you position you in a bar with a date? Table with opposing directions (although I try a bench sitting next to each other or is that too try hard?).

What kind of bars? Do you go to them with more quiet bars and do you go to a bar dancing afterwards or another quiet bar?

(12-06-2016 03:52 PM)Lime Wrote:  And for the next tinder dates I lined up, one final question, how do you position you in a bar with a date? Table with opposing directions (although I try a bench sitting next to each other or is that too try hard?).

What kind of bars? Do you go to them with more quiet bars and do you go to a bar dancing afterwards or another quiet bar?

Depends on your level of your interpersonal communication skills. If you don't feel comfortable keeping her enthralled for an hour and a half straight, I'd suggest somewhere busy with distractions, I.e., Tv's with local games on.

If you're comfortable in your abilities then I'd definitely go somewhere quiet, I.e., a dive bar or a pool hall.

I always try to sit directly across from her if I'm doing the latter, in some dark booth at the back of the venue.

What does 'directly across' mean exactly? Sitting face to face with a table in between or next to another?

(12-06-2016 03:52 PM)Lime Wrote:  And for the next tinder dates I lined up, one final question, how do you position you in a bar with a date? Table with opposing directions (although I try a bench sitting next to each other or is that too try hard?).

What kind of bars? Do you go to them with more quiet bars and do you go to a bar dancing afterwards or another quiet bar?

Directly across is face to face across with a table between us.

My back against a wall and she's facing me - this way her attention is focused on me and not whose coming in and out of the bar.

I like dive bars and non franchised bars (local mom and pop bars) - especially if they have a pool table and darts.

You get to know the bartenders, they hook you up, they know the score and your drink choice every time you come in, builds some SMV with the girl you bring in.

The more mellower the bar the better, you can hear eachother, focus on eachother, there's no distractions, almost as if its your own private bar.

The reason I sit across from the table is so I have their full attention, eye contact, and can read their body language.

Maybe later in the date if we get up to play pool/darts/whatever I'll set side by side - the only time I ever do that is if we're at the actual bar - in the case I'll grab a corner facing the wall so I have her full attention.

I don't ever go to a bar and dance, I don't do clubs, that's not my style.

Hi newbie here and be good to know your thoughts. I kissed a girl at an office party a couple of weeks back. I didn't directly work with her and she was leaving anyway that night, so no problems there. I'm early 30s, she's early 20s and pretty tidy and had targeted her early in the night. She's also in a LTR (as am I) and lives with a guy so it couldn't further on the night. We swapped numbers and exchanged some texts over that weekend and I suggested we hook up for a drink after her first week at new work (which was an away trip) and she said she was up for it.

Anyway, due mainly to both our situations, I didn't contact her any further and half expected to hear nothing back, yet on Sat night (1 week later) she texted at 12.30 from a night out. Again went well and when I suggested we hook up this week, she said "ideal, when are you free". Replied with some days this week and it's been radio silence since.

I don't believe in sending more than 2 texts in a row, but my question is whether it's worth another text at all or is it dead? I'd normally let it slide, but her initiating late night texts on a Sat had me interested.

(12-06-2016 04:14 PM)Stephanebonnes Wrote:  Hi newbie here and be good to know your thoughts. I kissed a girl at an office party a couple of weeks back. I didn't directly work with her and she was leaving anyway that night, so no problems there. I'm early 30s, she's early 20s and pretty tidy and had targeted her early in the night. She's also in a LTR (as am I) and lives with a guy so it couldn't further on the night. We swapped numbers and exchanged some texts over that weekend and I suggested we hook up for a drink after her first week at new work (which was an away trip) and she said she was up for it.

Anyway, due mainly to both our situations, I didn't contact her any further and half expected to hear nothing back, yet on Sat night (1 week later) she texted at 12.30 from a night out. Again went well and when I suggested we hook up this week, she said "ideal, when are you free". Replied with some days this week and it's been radio silence since.

I don't believe in sending more than 2 texts in a row, but my question is whether it's worth another text at all or is it dead? I'd normally let it slide, but her initiating late night texts on a Sat had me interested.

1. You don't shit where you eat.
2. You DON'T SHIT where you eat.
3. YOU DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT

This is an office environment so I tend to assume this is a professional job of yours.

Know how easy it is for her to go to HR and complain you're texting her and "harassing" her ?

You guys are both in relationships, very easy for one side to sabotage the other, especially if she knows you have a girl already.

She texted you on an on night, she was out and about, probably drinking and feeling horny so she sent you a text for validation.

Now she's radio silent, maybe there's some guilt, maybe her BF found your texts, who knows.

Personally I wouldn't reach out to her again - she's in a relationship - let her be the one to reach out to you again.

You said you don't directly work with her ? Different offices ? Either way, don't chase, let her chase you.

(12-06-2016 04:28 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(12-06-2016 04:14 PM)Stephanebonnes Wrote:  Hi newbie here and be good to know your thoughts. I kissed a girl at an office party a couple of weeks back. I didn't directly work with her and she was leaving anyway that night, so no problems there. I'm early 30s, she's early 20s and pretty tidy and had targeted her early in the night. She's also in a LTR (as am I) and lives with a guy so it couldn't further on the night. We swapped numbers and exchanged some texts over that weekend and I suggested we hook up for a drink after her first week at new work (which was an away trip) and she said she was up for it.

Anyway, due mainly to both our situations, I didn't contact her any further and half expected to hear nothing back, yet on Sat night (1 week later) she texted at 12.30 from a night out. Again went well and when I suggested we hook up this week, she said "ideal, when are you free". Replied with some days this week and it's been radio silence since.

I don't believe in sending more than 2 texts in a row, but my question is whether it's worth another text at all or is it dead? I'd normally let it slide, but her initiating late night texts on a Sat had me interested.

1. You don't shit where you eat.
2. You DON'T SHIT where you eat.
3. YOU DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT

This is an office environment so I tend to assume this is a professional job of yours.

Know how easy it is for her to go to HR and complain you're texting her and "harassing" her ?

You guys are both in relationships, very easy for one side to sabotage the other, especially if she knows you have a girl already.

She texted you on an on night, she was out and about, probably drinking and feeling horny so she sent you a text for validation.

Now she's radio silent, maybe there's some guilt, maybe her BF found your texts, who knows.

Personally I wouldn't reach out to her again - she's in a relationship - let her be the one to reach out to you again.

You said you don't directly work with her ? Different offices ? Either way, don't chase, let her chase you.

Sorry maybe didn't make it clear enough - she has left the company we both were involved with (I'm an advisor to company, she was employee) so there's no issue there.

Appreciate the other points. Don't want anything serious, just a bang, and prone to taking the odd risk... Tempted to go for one more text, then call it quits if nothing back...

(12-06-2016 04:37 PM)Stephanebonnes Wrote:  Sorry maybe didn't make it clear enough - she has left the company we both were involved with (I'm an advisor to company, she was employee) so there's no issue there.

Appreciate the other points. Don't want anything serious, just a bang, and prone to taking the odd risk... Tempted to go for one more text, then call it quits if nothing back...

Fair enough and reasonable.

In that case wait a bit (perhaps a few days or a day or 2 before a day you're free) then shoot her a text, if she replies and she's receptive, strike while the iron is hot, immediately set up a day, place, and time.

(12-06-2016 04:39 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(12-06-2016 04:37 PM)Stephanebonnes Wrote:  Sorry maybe didn't make it clear enough - she has left the company we both were involved with (I'm an advisor to company, she was employee) so there's no issue there.

Appreciate the other points. Don't want anything serious, just a bang, and prone to taking the odd risk... Tempted to go for one more text, then call it quits if nothing back...

Fair enough and reasonable.

In that case wait a bit (perhaps a few days or a day or 2 before a day you're free) then shoot her a text, if she replies and she's receptive, strike while the iron is hot, immediately set up a day, place, and time.

Cheers - thanks. From experience, do you think should I refer to her non-reply to committing to a date (I think she may have been bottling it) even lightheartedly, or just ignore that and text as it it didn't happen? Going to text during working hours so there's no BF around!