How to get laid on okcupid like a boss
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I'mWaitingForTheMan · 2012-09-04 16:55:00 · #1601
I thought this one was amusing and is instructive for how to number close fast. I know I played up the practice angle but if I planned on going to that area I did get the number.
Me
Don't worry I would come up with a very witty message if you weren't so far.
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:36pm
Haha I am glad I could save you the time. Being witty is exhausting.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:42pm
I suppose I can practice though...probably would have said something like...
Ok I get you can cook but all I really care about is can you make me a sandwich?
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:46pm
Glad I can help you practice. I can make the best damn sandwich this side of okcupid.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:47pm
That's like saying you can make the best sandwich this side of the loony bin.
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:49pm
I have heard, while generally insane, people on this site have a knack for sandwich making.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:51pm
Tell you what-I'll take your phone # and do you a solid and judge this sandwich. You can make it the morning after.
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:52pm
(obviously this is practice, unless you ever find yourself in the **** area)
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:55pm
Right, all practice. A morning after sandwich huh? Would it have to be breakfast themed? My number, for practicing purposes, is **********. Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:58pm
I'm partial to a fresh BLT.
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:01pm
Too easySent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:02pm
Apparently not as easy as getting your phone number. Or maybe I am just too good.
Her[/align]
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:04pm
Well well well...that was good. I'll give you that.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:07pm
Thanks. Shoot me a message if you're in the area.
Me
Don't worry I would come up with a very witty message if you weren't so far.
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:36pm
Haha I am glad I could save you the time. Being witty is exhausting.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:42pm
I suppose I can practice though...probably would have said something like...
Ok I get you can cook but all I really care about is can you make me a sandwich?
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:46pm
Glad I can help you practice. I can make the best damn sandwich this side of okcupid.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:47pm
That's like saying you can make the best sandwich this side of the loony bin.
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:49pm
I have heard, while generally insane, people on this site have a knack for sandwich making.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:51pm
Tell you what-I'll take your phone # and do you a solid and judge this sandwich. You can make it the morning after.
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:52pm
(obviously this is practice, unless you ever find yourself in the **** area)
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:55pm
Right, all practice. A morning after sandwich huh? Would it have to be breakfast themed? My number, for practicing purposes, is **********. Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 10:58pm
I'm partial to a fresh BLT.
Her
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:01pm
Too easySent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:02pm
Apparently not as easy as getting your phone number. Or maybe I am just too good.
Her[/align]
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:04pm
Well well well...that was good. I'll give you that.Sent from the OkCupid app
Report this
Me
Sep 3, 2012 – 11:07pm
Thanks. Shoot me a message if you're in the area.
Rich02468 · 2012-09-04 16:58:00 · #1602
Under "Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit" I put the following:
"My penis tastes like Ben and Jerry's."
This has been really effective in attracting the kind of girls I'm into right now, because it effectively combines the two top interests for American girls: penis and ice cream. Girls will message me and ask about it, and I'll ask them what their favorite flavor is. It's grand. Or they'll tell me they don't like ice cream (yeah right
) and I'll tell them they just haven't tried the right kind. I think I miss out on "nice" girls who would otherwise be into banging once we meet in person, but those that do stick around are usually pretty DTF. It goes without saying that my pics are pretty tight. I paid a photographer to do a shoot with me in a suit in a public park, and used one where I'm not looking at the camera.
"My penis tastes like Ben and Jerry's."
This has been really effective in attracting the kind of girls I'm into right now, because it effectively combines the two top interests for American girls: penis and ice cream. Girls will message me and ask about it, and I'll ask them what their favorite flavor is. It's grand. Or they'll tell me they don't like ice cream (yeah right
) and I'll tell them they just haven't tried the right kind. I think I miss out on "nice" girls who would otherwise be into banging once we meet in person, but those that do stick around are usually pretty DTF. It goes without saying that my pics are pretty tight. I paid a photographer to do a shoot with me in a suit in a public park, and used one where I'm not looking at the camera.bliss · 2012-09-04 17:21:00 · #1603
i have to say i'm surprised about the numbers y'all are throwing around for response rates. i've put in a fairly grueling day's work (80+ sent) and i've gotten about 20 responses too, half of which i'll probably take seriously. in england my rate would usually be about 1:1.5.
it's weird because i'm hitting out the ball park with club hotties and plain janes, but i keep getting the shoulder from my usual audience (hipsterettes). it's off-putting because some of these girls are a little simple and aren't totally grasping my sense of humor, but at the same time they seem really sweet and sincere so idk.
it's weird because i'm hitting out the ball park with club hotties and plain janes, but i keep getting the shoulder from my usual audience (hipsterettes). it's off-putting because some of these girls are a little simple and aren't totally grasping my sense of humor, but at the same time they seem really sweet and sincere so idk.
Online Dating Photos
The internet is a visual medium. Your photos are the most important part of your online dating profile. If you have an unflattering photo then women won’t even read your messages. Too many people neglect this aspect. After you have good photos, you can write a clever profile and spell-check it. You can lie a little about your height or income. And you can start to send witty messages. That doesn’t take long. But unfortunately, it takes time to accumulate good photos and this is longest part of assembling a good profile. You probably have some on your phone, some on your computer, some on Facebook, and a few old hard copies that you can scan. But you need more good recent ones, and you need to figure out which to use.
Lesson 1: Assemble existing pictures and begin accumulating more. Start now!
Okay, great, but what kind of photos do you need, and how can you get them? Ideally you want good lighting, an expensive camera, and an expert who knows how to use it. It is tempting to go to a professional photographer. But that is an expensive, inconvenient, and ineffective solution. Why? Because then you get a bunch of awkward, posed, strained studio photos. It sucks.
Lesson 2a: You need photos when you look good, not when the photographic condition is best.
But this is actually jumping to conclusions. You don’t just want pictures that make you look good visually; you want ones that make you look good emotionally. They should tell stories that resonate, that show how you are a cool, alpha, social, brave, tender, fun leader.
Lesson 2b: You want photos that make you look awesome!
For example, you could have photos receiving hugs from Nelson Mandela as he is released from prison, jamming with the Rolling Stones, playing basketball with Barak Obama and Michael Jordan, rescuing babies from the World Trade Center, dancing with supermodels, and piloting the helicopter that killed Osama Bin Laden.
More likely you can get shots of your best social and recreational life. Maybe hiking in a cool scenic place, or surfing. Dancing in a nightclub. Giving a speech. Playing touch football. Holding a puppy or baby. It is hard to predict what will work, so you need to get variety. This takes time and planning.
Lesson 3: More pictures means better pictures (be a camera whore).
You know what camera most professionals use in everyday life? Whatever is handy. They grab anything people hand them at parties. For work they lug tripods and lighting systems. They have fast-focus, high resolution cameras in the studio. But it is inconvenient to carry a heavy and expensive camera around your neck. So they throw a few small and cheap (but adequate) cameras in their glove compartments and jacket pockets. Then they are prepared if they see a UFO.
You should behave similarly. Carry a decent portable digital camera around. You need it when you are dressed up for dates, parties, dinners, and for “cool” activities like performances, athletic, etc. Then get people to take pictures of yourself often. If you see an amateur or pro photographer at a party, ask for shots. Whenever you look particularly awesome, at least use a camera phone.
Here is a problem: Most pictures suck. Only 10% are any good. Sometimes you blink. Or your expression looks retarded in midsentence. Sometimes the background is distracting when an ugly tourist walks behind you. So instruct the photographer to hit the button repeatedly. Then turn the camera sideways and take a few more. Digital film is free- take dozens of shots at a time. Conversely, sometimes a random picture looks interesting, engaging, handsome, or whatever. You need to experiment and get variety to find that special photo. Try different angles, poses, backgrounds, etc. Make the photographer crouch down, get close, and generally experiment.
What kind of shots should you take? See the OKCupid blog for some good articles.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-...-pictures/
Look back at Lesson 2b. If you can’t be awesome, then you can at least be interesting, and maybe even intriguing and message-worthy. You can’t play basketball with Michael Jordan, but you can play with friends. You can get cook, play guitar, or express yourself. You can get travel pictures in cool places, with nature, or architecture, or wherever. You can get a picture with a cute baby, a puppy, or a fun, macho pit bull. Perhaps even a tiger kitten at the zoo! You can get some quirky pictures sleeping, or at the gym, or goofing around. These probably aren’t ideal, but you never know, and Lesson 3 says more pictures means better pictures. Bending over in tight jeans might look accidentally sexy. Try a picture in a suit, or in uniform. Military, police, and firefighter suits can be hot! But so can a chef uniform, a graduation robe, or party costume.
Activity pictures are better than mundane pictures with friends, dining, drinking, etc. You want your pictures to be different and stand out. And really, what kind of statement are you sending when your best representation shows you getting wasted in a dive bar like hundreds of average frustrated losers with no accomplishments or interests?
But there is another aspect to candid photos and activity photos. They look genuine. Men should not look try-hard in photos. Women can smile, tease, flirt, and even use those crappy “Myspace” self-portraits with a camera-phone. But men must look aloof and cool. They can look confident, friendly, or even bemused. But they must not have an artificial, obsequious, shit-eating grin.
Lesson 4: Look cool.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-b...-accident/
Basically, this means men should look away from the camera, and should not smile. Certainly they should not make a forced, artificial smirk. The pose should not be head-on, and the head should face a slightly different direction than the body. This gives a more relaxed, natural posture.
If you have a great natural smile, then you can feel free to flash it. Generally I suggest a method acting technique. Look around while your photographer keeps snapping. Think of funny, amusing things. Check out the out-of-frame women, and think of how you would like to ravish them. Basically put yourself in a sexy, fun, detached, confident, or otherwise interesting state. Your state of mind will be reflected in the expression of your face and body language. Meanwhile look around in different directions. Hopefully the photographer will capture one moment when you look cool and interesting, and the viewers will wonder what you were thinking at that exact moment.
Similarly, topless posed photos look terribly contrived. Grown women hate the topless cell phone picture in the bathroom mirror. Yet a real beach photo might be fine. It is not about the abs, it is about the attitude.
Once you look good, you can address technical photographic issues. Yes, more expensive cameras tend to take more expensive pictures. But that is because they are used by better photographers. My Dad took shitty pics and cut people’s heads off with his expensive Leica rangefinder. You might take worse photos with an expensive camera you don’t understand. And undoubtedly your drunk friends will not know how to use a complicated camera at parties.
That means ideally you want simple point-and-shoot capability. You absolutely need autofocus to get fast, sharp photos. Sorry, but your incompetent cross-eyed friends will not focus properly with a manual lens.
In principle you want good light. That would be soft, diffuse, natural morning or evening light. You don’t want overhead sun that leaves shadows under your eyes. You don’t want harsh flash that washes out your skin. Good luck with that. Most of your opportunities will be at dark parties, clubs, etc.
Ideally you will not use flash. Ironically the exception occurs during the day, with too much light. Then flash can fill in your face and remove shadows. In dark environments, you need a large aperture to avoid the need for flash. This means you want a portrait lens with a low f-stop. These lenses are bad for landscape snapshots, but they give beautiful, sharp, pictures with a shallow depth-of-field. This makes you look sharp with a background that looks fuzzy and nondistracting. The lens is more important than the camera! Portraits look particularly good if the background is far away. Then you will be in comparatively sharper focus.
Lesson 5: Try to get clear, sharp pictures.
Finally, you need to process and choose your photos. You don’t need many. But you need a little variety. Perhaps a decent portrait, a full-body shot (presuming you have a decent body), and one or two that make you look cool. Some people suggest using many photos. If you have lots of sharp photos, then good for you. It means you are probably a good-looking person with an interesting life. But you should try to use only your best. Three are enough. You can leave an air of mystery and hold some in reserve for messages. You can have female or smart male friends help select them.
Collect all your photos together. Then use software to optimize them. For example, Google Picassa is free. You can enlarge yourself and crop out distracting people or old girlfriends. Eliminate red-eye. You can often salvage an unacceptably dark picture by lightening it and increasing contrast. Make your photos look as good as possible, especially in web thumbnail format.
Then test your photos online. There are vanity sites like HotOrNot. The OKCupid Mybest application is great.
http://www.okcupid.com/mybestface
You can compare your pictures to each other, and to good-looking friends. Don’t just look at the relative rating of your own photos, look at the rating compared to other users. Obviously you want more than 50% of users to choose you over random comparisons. Hopefully you will eventually get pictures that score over 60%. But there is a limit - even the most handsome guys get only 75%. You don’t need to be at that level. A full-body shot or activity picture may not have the highest score as your primary photo, but can be an effective part of a profile portfolio. Your pictures should look good, and complement each other to tell the story that you are a cool, alpha guy.
Lesson 6: Test your pictures.
Well, that’s it. Understanding how to convey your best self in pictures is a great foundation for understanding how to present a great profile. Most online daters just throw up available pictures from work, vacation, or fuzzy camera phones. A smart, determined dater can do much better.
The internet is a visual medium. Your photos are the most important part of your online dating profile. If you have an unflattering photo then women won’t even read your messages. Too many people neglect this aspect. After you have good photos, you can write a clever profile and spell-check it. You can lie a little about your height or income. And you can start to send witty messages. That doesn’t take long. But unfortunately, it takes time to accumulate good photos and this is longest part of assembling a good profile. You probably have some on your phone, some on your computer, some on Facebook, and a few old hard copies that you can scan. But you need more good recent ones, and you need to figure out which to use.
Lesson 1: Assemble existing pictures and begin accumulating more. Start now!
Okay, great, but what kind of photos do you need, and how can you get them? Ideally you want good lighting, an expensive camera, and an expert who knows how to use it. It is tempting to go to a professional photographer. But that is an expensive, inconvenient, and ineffective solution. Why? Because then you get a bunch of awkward, posed, strained studio photos. It sucks.
Lesson 2a: You need photos when you look good, not when the photographic condition is best.
But this is actually jumping to conclusions. You don’t just want pictures that make you look good visually; you want ones that make you look good emotionally. They should tell stories that resonate, that show how you are a cool, alpha, social, brave, tender, fun leader.
Lesson 2b: You want photos that make you look awesome!
For example, you could have photos receiving hugs from Nelson Mandela as he is released from prison, jamming with the Rolling Stones, playing basketball with Barak Obama and Michael Jordan, rescuing babies from the World Trade Center, dancing with supermodels, and piloting the helicopter that killed Osama Bin Laden.
More likely you can get shots of your best social and recreational life. Maybe hiking in a cool scenic place, or surfing. Dancing in a nightclub. Giving a speech. Playing touch football. Holding a puppy or baby. It is hard to predict what will work, so you need to get variety. This takes time and planning.
Lesson 3: More pictures means better pictures (be a camera whore).
You know what camera most professionals use in everyday life? Whatever is handy. They grab anything people hand them at parties. For work they lug tripods and lighting systems. They have fast-focus, high resolution cameras in the studio. But it is inconvenient to carry a heavy and expensive camera around your neck. So they throw a few small and cheap (but adequate) cameras in their glove compartments and jacket pockets. Then they are prepared if they see a UFO.
You should behave similarly. Carry a decent portable digital camera around. You need it when you are dressed up for dates, parties, dinners, and for “cool” activities like performances, athletic, etc. Then get people to take pictures of yourself often. If you see an amateur or pro photographer at a party, ask for shots. Whenever you look particularly awesome, at least use a camera phone.
Here is a problem: Most pictures suck. Only 10% are any good. Sometimes you blink. Or your expression looks retarded in midsentence. Sometimes the background is distracting when an ugly tourist walks behind you. So instruct the photographer to hit the button repeatedly. Then turn the camera sideways and take a few more. Digital film is free- take dozens of shots at a time. Conversely, sometimes a random picture looks interesting, engaging, handsome, or whatever. You need to experiment and get variety to find that special photo. Try different angles, poses, backgrounds, etc. Make the photographer crouch down, get close, and generally experiment.
What kind of shots should you take? See the OKCupid blog for some good articles.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-...-pictures/
Look back at Lesson 2b. If you can’t be awesome, then you can at least be interesting, and maybe even intriguing and message-worthy. You can’t play basketball with Michael Jordan, but you can play with friends. You can get cook, play guitar, or express yourself. You can get travel pictures in cool places, with nature, or architecture, or wherever. You can get a picture with a cute baby, a puppy, or a fun, macho pit bull. Perhaps even a tiger kitten at the zoo! You can get some quirky pictures sleeping, or at the gym, or goofing around. These probably aren’t ideal, but you never know, and Lesson 3 says more pictures means better pictures. Bending over in tight jeans might look accidentally sexy. Try a picture in a suit, or in uniform. Military, police, and firefighter suits can be hot! But so can a chef uniform, a graduation robe, or party costume.
Activity pictures are better than mundane pictures with friends, dining, drinking, etc. You want your pictures to be different and stand out. And really, what kind of statement are you sending when your best representation shows you getting wasted in a dive bar like hundreds of average frustrated losers with no accomplishments or interests?
But there is another aspect to candid photos and activity photos. They look genuine. Men should not look try-hard in photos. Women can smile, tease, flirt, and even use those crappy “Myspace” self-portraits with a camera-phone. But men must look aloof and cool. They can look confident, friendly, or even bemused. But they must not have an artificial, obsequious, shit-eating grin.
Lesson 4: Look cool.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-b...-accident/
Basically, this means men should look away from the camera, and should not smile. Certainly they should not make a forced, artificial smirk. The pose should not be head-on, and the head should face a slightly different direction than the body. This gives a more relaxed, natural posture.
If you have a great natural smile, then you can feel free to flash it. Generally I suggest a method acting technique. Look around while your photographer keeps snapping. Think of funny, amusing things. Check out the out-of-frame women, and think of how you would like to ravish them. Basically put yourself in a sexy, fun, detached, confident, or otherwise interesting state. Your state of mind will be reflected in the expression of your face and body language. Meanwhile look around in different directions. Hopefully the photographer will capture one moment when you look cool and interesting, and the viewers will wonder what you were thinking at that exact moment.
Similarly, topless posed photos look terribly contrived. Grown women hate the topless cell phone picture in the bathroom mirror. Yet a real beach photo might be fine. It is not about the abs, it is about the attitude.
Once you look good, you can address technical photographic issues. Yes, more expensive cameras tend to take more expensive pictures. But that is because they are used by better photographers. My Dad took shitty pics and cut people’s heads off with his expensive Leica rangefinder. You might take worse photos with an expensive camera you don’t understand. And undoubtedly your drunk friends will not know how to use a complicated camera at parties.
That means ideally you want simple point-and-shoot capability. You absolutely need autofocus to get fast, sharp photos. Sorry, but your incompetent cross-eyed friends will not focus properly with a manual lens.
In principle you want good light. That would be soft, diffuse, natural morning or evening light. You don’t want overhead sun that leaves shadows under your eyes. You don’t want harsh flash that washes out your skin. Good luck with that. Most of your opportunities will be at dark parties, clubs, etc.
Ideally you will not use flash. Ironically the exception occurs during the day, with too much light. Then flash can fill in your face and remove shadows. In dark environments, you need a large aperture to avoid the need for flash. This means you want a portrait lens with a low f-stop. These lenses are bad for landscape snapshots, but they give beautiful, sharp, pictures with a shallow depth-of-field. This makes you look sharp with a background that looks fuzzy and nondistracting. The lens is more important than the camera! Portraits look particularly good if the background is far away. Then you will be in comparatively sharper focus.
Lesson 5: Try to get clear, sharp pictures.
Finally, you need to process and choose your photos. You don’t need many. But you need a little variety. Perhaps a decent portrait, a full-body shot (presuming you have a decent body), and one or two that make you look cool. Some people suggest using many photos. If you have lots of sharp photos, then good for you. It means you are probably a good-looking person with an interesting life. But you should try to use only your best. Three are enough. You can leave an air of mystery and hold some in reserve for messages. You can have female or smart male friends help select them.
Collect all your photos together. Then use software to optimize them. For example, Google Picassa is free. You can enlarge yourself and crop out distracting people or old girlfriends. Eliminate red-eye. You can often salvage an unacceptably dark picture by lightening it and increasing contrast. Make your photos look as good as possible, especially in web thumbnail format.
Then test your photos online. There are vanity sites like HotOrNot. The OKCupid Mybest application is great.
http://www.okcupid.com/mybestface
You can compare your pictures to each other, and to good-looking friends. Don’t just look at the relative rating of your own photos, look at the rating compared to other users. Obviously you want more than 50% of users to choose you over random comparisons. Hopefully you will eventually get pictures that score over 60%. But there is a limit - even the most handsome guys get only 75%. You don’t need to be at that level. A full-body shot or activity picture may not have the highest score as your primary photo, but can be an effective part of a profile portfolio. Your pictures should look good, and complement each other to tell the story that you are a cool, alpha guy.
Lesson 6: Test your pictures.
Well, that’s it. Understanding how to convey your best self in pictures is a great foundation for understanding how to present a great profile. Most online daters just throw up available pictures from work, vacation, or fuzzy camera phones. A smart, determined dater can do much better.
MrXY · 2012-09-04 21:06:00 · #1605
(09-04-2012 05:21 PM)bliss Wrote: i have to say i'm surprised about the numbers y'all are throwing around for response rates. i've put in a fairly grueling day's work (80+ sent) and i've gotten about 20 responses too, half of which i'll probably take seriously. in england my rate would usually be about 1:1.5.
20 out of 80 is 25% response in less than a day-that's very good
plague · 2012-09-04 23:16:00 · #1606
I thought I would let you guys know that I accidentally messaged a tranny last night. there are quite a few on okc in my area (sf bay), and I can usually detect them, but I failed in this case.
she was like:
"also you should know that I am a trans-girl. I keep forgetting to put up a disclaimer"
uh, you keep forgetting to tell people your gender? seems like that should be step 1.
she was like:
"also you should know that I am a trans-girl. I keep forgetting to put up a disclaimer"
uh, you keep forgetting to tell people your gender? seems like that should be step 1.
Ferro · 2012-09-04 23:41:00 · #1607
^^^^Lol I accidentally did that last night. For the first time ever I decided to go back and actually carefully read the girl's monster profile when I found "just finished hormone replacement therapy. please do not judge me." hiding one of the last paragraphs. I had to force pof's system to block it manually.
Also I was asking a lot of girls what they can bring to the table when a pretty solid 7.5 responded with "Mm I'd say I'm a great blow jobber..is that something? Hehe
I'm I'm also I really good dancer and umm...I can bake really good hash brownies"
How would you guys have handled that? From her pics and profile it looked like it was half serious, but still 100% a shit test, so I just basically said those are all good things and made a breaking bad joke about her cooking. The correct response was to not directly reference the blowjob right?
Also I was asking a lot of girls what they can bring to the table when a pretty solid 7.5 responded with "Mm I'd say I'm a great blow jobber..is that something? Hehe
I'm I'm also I really good dancer and umm...I can bake really good hash brownies"
How would you guys have handled that? From her pics and profile it looked like it was half serious, but still 100% a shit test, so I just basically said those are all good things and made a breaking bad joke about her cooking. The correct response was to not directly reference the blowjob right?
soup · 2012-09-05 02:32:00 · #1608
Late night weed game IM:
me: hey
her: hi
me: you seem like you'd be fun to meet in person
her: i am
me: do you have weed
her: uh usuall
her: usually
me: I have drinks leftover from a party. Help me finish them
her: lol rule of the online dating dont go to a guys house
me: that
me: a good rule. rule number two is it's more fun to break rules
her: lol yeah...or get raped
me: yeah- i'm biggest axe murderer
her: i figured
me: then let's meet at a bar so i can figure out if you the axe murderer
her: that good with me
me: xxx-bar in 10 min
her: wait no
her: im not going to a bar
her: now
me: ok text me a "hi" now and we can meet up at a more boring hour xxx-xxx-xxxx soup
her: lol it not more boring hour
her: its a less booty call session
me: ok less of a booty call text me
-----
Here's another:
Me: hey
Her: hey
Me: do you have weed
Her: hah!
Her: no I don't sorry
Her: I get random drug tests @ work so I don't smoke anymore
Me: you seem like you'd be fun to meet in person
Her: I am
Her: where in Poosy Paradise are you?
Me: Horsecockville. I have drinks leftover from a party. I'd invite you over to help me finish them if you promise you aren't an axe murderer or stalker
Her: I'd consider going if I wasn't already in bed and just took 2 xanax to pass out soon
Me: Ok text me a "hi" and we hang some other time xxx-xxx-xxxx Soup
me: hey
her: hi
me: you seem like you'd be fun to meet in person
her: i am
me: do you have weed
her: uh usuall
her: usually
me: I have drinks leftover from a party. Help me finish them
her: lol rule of the online dating dont go to a guys house
me: that
me: a good rule. rule number two is it's more fun to break rules
her: lol yeah...or get raped
me: yeah- i'm biggest axe murderer
her: i figured
me: then let's meet at a bar so i can figure out if you the axe murderer
her: that good with me
me: xxx-bar in 10 min
her: wait no
her: im not going to a bar
her: now
me: ok text me a "hi" now and we can meet up at a more boring hour xxx-xxx-xxxx soup
her: lol it not more boring hour
her: its a less booty call session
me: ok less of a booty call
text me-----
Here's another:
Me: hey
Her: hey
Me: do you have weed
Her: hah!
Her: no I don't sorry
Her: I get random drug tests @ work so I don't smoke anymore
Me: you seem like you'd be fun to meet in person
Her: I am
Her: where in Poosy Paradise are you?
Me: Horsecockville. I have drinks leftover from a party. I'd invite you over to help me finish them if you promise you aren't an axe murderer or stalker
Her: I'd consider going if I wasn't already in bed and just took 2 xanax to pass out soon
Me: Ok text me a "hi" and we hang some other time xxx-xxx-xxxx Soup
bliss · 2012-09-05 05:34:00 · #1609
(09-04-2012 11:41 PM)Ferro Wrote: ^^^^Lol I accidentally did that last night. For the first time ever I decided to go back and actually carefully read the girl's monster profile when I found "just finished hormone replacement therapy. please do not judge me." hiding one of the last paragraphs. I had to force pof's system to block it manually.
Also I was asking a lot of girls what they can bring to the table when a pretty solid 7.5 responded with "Mm I'd say I'm a great blow jobber..is that something? Hehe
I'm I'm also I really good dancer and umm...I can bake really good hash brownies"
How would you guys have handled that? From her pics and profile it looked like it was half serious, but still 100% a shit test, so I just basically said those are all good things and made a breaking bad joke about her cooking. The correct response was to not directly reference the blowjob right?
this is a tough one. a lot of girls on OKC are just horny and out to get fucked. my instincts tell me that you made the right call, but honestly in a case like this it's just a gamble so don't get bummed out if she flakes.
one piece of advice i'd strongly recommend would be to not break out of character. if you've established yourself as a horndog, then sure, go for it (but not too enthusiastically), while if not, just ignore it.
Neo · 2012-09-05 05:49:00 · #1610
(09-04-2012 11:41 PM)Ferro Wrote: ^^^^Lol I accidentally did that last night. For the first time ever I decided to go back and actually carefully read the girl's monster profile when I found "just finished hormone replacement therapy. please do not judge me." hiding one of the last paragraphs. I had to force pof's system to block it manually.
Also I was asking a lot of girls what they can bring to the table when a pretty solid 7.5 responded with "Mm I'd say I'm a great blow jobber..is that something? Hehe
I'm I'm also I really good dancer and umm...I can bake really good hash brownies"
How would you guys have handled that? From her pics and profile it looked like it was half serious, but still 100% a shit test, so I just basically said those are all good things and made a breaking bad joke about her cooking. The correct response was to not directly reference the blowjob right?
In my experience a lot of girls who bring up sexual talk and innuendos early and in their profiles are usually AHs. Same with the girls who have blatant tit and bikini shots. You never know though, if you got this girl alone, something would probably happen.
TheMan · 2012-09-05 16:08:00 · #1611
Hey guys, can we do a bit of a messaging workshop now? (could even make it PM / Group only so its not google searchable / public) I know a lot of us would definitely benefit from it
Sourcecode · 2012-09-06 07:32:00 · #1612
i would like someone to critique my intro message also. j get replies and dates consistently, but there can always be improvements.and i don't want to post it online where the idea would get mass broadcast
I'mWaitingForTheMan · 2012-09-06 10:22:00 · #1613
I can try to help out go ahead and PM me. To the best of my abilities at least.
BlurredSevens · 2012-09-06 10:36:00 · #1614
I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
I'mWaitingForTheMan · 2012-09-06 10:58:00 · #1615
(09-06-2012 10:36 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote: I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)My main strategy is to send an opener that makes them qualify themselves off of something in their profile. A happy medium.
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
BlurredSevens · 2012-09-06 14:44:00 · #1616
Ferro · 2012-09-06 16:40:00 · #1617
What do you guys think about chatting with girls vs back and forth messaging? Is one better than the other or is there an appropriate time for both? I have not yet tried the chat feature, but was wondering if it might be a better vector to a date/number and when exactly one should employ it.
(09-06-2012 10:36 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote: I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
(09-06-2012 10:58 AM)ImWaitingForTheMan Wrote:(09-06-2012 10:36 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote: I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
My main strategy is to send an opener that makes them qualify themselves off of something in their profile. A happy medium.
When you say a 'qualifier' what do you mean? Can you give an example?
bliss · 2012-09-06 19:15:00 · #1619
(09-06-2012 05:13 PM)IainMuirs Wrote:(09-06-2012 10:36 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote: I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
(09-06-2012 10:58 AM)ImWaitingForTheMan Wrote:(09-06-2012 10:36 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote: I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
My main strategy is to send an opener that makes them qualify themselves off of something in their profile. A happy medium.
When you say a 'qualifier' what do you mean? Can you give an example?
a qualifier is something that 'frames' a connection and forces her to respond to you, putting you in a higher position. it's not really what PUAs tend to call a "neg"... it's more like a super mild insult, the bell pepper to the neg's vindaloo.
if she talks about cooking you say something like, "but can you... [x]", "seems like you'd spill a lot [etc etc]!", "i've known girls who say [x] and i had to weather a bad stomach for weeks after".
basically you want to call into question her bs claims and seem like you're a confident, seen-it-all nonchalant skeptic. for example, one of the chicks i messaged a few days ago said something about a yoga style with a really fruity name in her profile, so i told her it sounded like the name of the world's kinkiest sex position.
bear in mind that i'm not a game expert and i'm only passingly familiar with some of the more common terms. i only really know what's worked for me.
I'mWaitingForTheMan · 2012-09-06 22:49:00 · #1620
(09-06-2012 05:13 PM)IainMuirs Wrote:(09-06-2012 10:36 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote: I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
(09-06-2012 10:58 AM)ImWaitingForTheMan Wrote:(09-06-2012 10:36 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote: I've been having a lot of success with the qualifying style opener Soup has alluded to throughout this thread. 15 outgoing messages since monday, 9 replies, 9 numbers. (should be noted I consider myself a beginner, so 9 numbers in 4 days is a lot for me)
I am half kicking myself for not going this route earlier, because it makes perfect sense: I wouldn't open a girl during the day by bringing up a random common interest, listing all the ways we are similar, asking her a personal question, trying to crack a joke, etc., so the same holds true online. Much better to hit her with a quick qualifier - this way she is inclined to defend herself, and if she's interested in you, she'll ask a question or offer up something to keep the conversation going. And even if she doesn't, I still plow forward, keeping it impersonal and playful, and then quickly going for the number.
I've also stopped waiting for a personal question to number close. If she responds twice, I go for the number, even if her replies are only a sentence. The obvious concern here is flaking, since no real rapport has been established - but, I've been flaked on by girls who I've had good conversations with, so it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any thoughts on that?
My main strategy is to send an opener that makes them qualify themselves off of something in their profile. A happy medium.
When you say a 'qualifier' what do you mean? Can you give an example?
Her profile said she went to culinary school and is a good cook. Hence "Ok I get you can cook but all I really care about is can you make me a sandwich?"
We did an interesting experiment on Okcupid as part of some market research and the results was both unexpected and interesting. To keep things short we basically switched the main photo on the same profile between three races: a black guy, a white guy, and a mix guy. The profile remained the same and the guys were about the same looks wise. How we contacted the women and the type of women we contact also remained about the same. While we are not saying that this is 100% accurate this is our assessment based on the results we got: (All the guys were about an 8 in looks.)
Black guy: very good response from white women over 30 and black women. For white women that like black guys, it's easy.
Mix guy: worse response. The women that was interested in him were very interested and could come from any racial background but there were not many of them.
White guy: killed! White, black, Asian, mixed girls didn't matter. He was getting responses across the board and the responses were very strong.
What does this mean? Are the women prejudice against non-whites? We don't think so. What we think is that the white male is still strongly "preference" by most women of all races with everything else being about equal. Just being white (the "whiter" you look the better) give you a 2 point advantage over a non-white guy. If you are a reasonable decent looking white guy, between 25 - 35, you can kill on online dating sites. (At least in getting initial responses.) We don't know have much personality and "game" becomes a factor as the interaction proceeds but if you can't get the girls to respond then your personality and game doesn't matter.
I would be willing to bet that 95% of the guys on this thread that are doing very well on Okcupid fall into this category: white, decent looking, betweent 25 - 35. If you are non-white then your best bet is offline, in the real world, where your confidence and game has a chance of leveling the playing field.
Black guy: very good response from white women over 30 and black women. For white women that like black guys, it's easy.
Mix guy: worse response. The women that was interested in him were very interested and could come from any racial background but there were not many of them.
White guy: killed! White, black, Asian, mixed girls didn't matter. He was getting responses across the board and the responses were very strong.
What does this mean? Are the women prejudice against non-whites? We don't think so. What we think is that the white male is still strongly "preference" by most women of all races with everything else being about equal. Just being white (the "whiter" you look the better) give you a 2 point advantage over a non-white guy. If you are a reasonable decent looking white guy, between 25 - 35, you can kill on online dating sites. (At least in getting initial responses.) We don't know have much personality and "game" becomes a factor as the interaction proceeds but if you can't get the girls to respond then your personality and game doesn't matter.
I would be willing to bet that 95% of the guys on this thread that are doing very well on Okcupid fall into this category: white, decent looking, betweent 25 - 35. If you are non-white then your best bet is offline, in the real world, where your confidence and game has a chance of leveling the playing field.
Blunt · 2012-09-07 14:42:00 · #1622
For people that use POF, does it have less educated girls? Like less pretentious.
Blunt · 2012-09-07 14:50:00 · #1623
I've finally tweeked my shit enough to get first responses. But after that I'm having trouble getting another response when I'm trying to get one more before I ask for the number.
Do you guys give up if she goes offline before you have a chance to get her number or is it worth trying to contact her again on a later day?
Do you guys give up if she goes offline before you have a chance to get her number or is it worth trying to contact her again on a later day?
Some interesting results here: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online...t-message/
MrXY · 2012-09-09 15:13:00 · #1625
Quote:Posted by Blunt - 09-07-2012 04:42 PM
For people that use POF, does it have less educated girls? Like less pretentious.
On average, yes. The POF ones who have college degrees are mostly teaches and nurses.
OKC attracts the more educated, artsy,or hipterish types
Quote:Posted by Blunt - 09-07-2012 04:50 PM
I've finally tweeked my shit enough to get first responses. But after that I'm having trouble getting another response when I'm trying to get one more before I ask for the number.
Do you guys give up if she goes offline before you have a chance to get her number or is it worth trying to contact her again on a later day?
Continue messaging. It's normal for messaging to be spread out over several days before you number close-people only come on the site from time to time.