Yes, or what I also get:
I'm busy at work
I'm sorry I can't make it

I read about this behaviour here before, so its not a surprise for me nor is it really frustrating. Its just a fact that you have to accept here. Whats even more strange, some then even write, I'm so sorry but I want to meet you again, followed by the same routine.
Girls do a troll job. ^^

(11-11-2015 04:16 PM)Parzival Wrote:  Yes, or what I also get:
I'm busy at work
I'm sorry I can't make it

I read about this behaviour here before, so its not a surprise for me nor is it really frustrating. Its just a fact that you have to accept here. Whats even more strange, some then even write, I'm so sorry but I want to meet you again, followed by the same routine.
Girls do a troll job. ^^

Yeah, that shit is par for the course. Something I'm thinking I have figured out, which is actually good news in a sense, is that when the chicks actually do go to meet you chances are they have already decided in their mind that they're willing to bang. All you have to do is not be a complete idiot.

So, when I get flaked on, like you, I'm usually doing something beforehand that was beneficial in some way. Studying somewhere or just chilling in a place that I enjoy relaxing in. So that if they are going to do the last minute flake I haven't wasted my time going somewhere and just standing around with my dick in my hand.

I usually send a mail the day before confirming if they're still able to come the next day. That usually gives them a chance to give the, "I'm feeling sick" or "Sorry, I've become busy" excuses so I can try to pull a mulligan and call out a girl I think would be dtf on a last minute type thing. Or just hit up a buddy and have a chill night with the opportunity to pull something new.

Quote:Whats even more strange, some then even write, I'm so sorry but I want to meet you again, followed by the same routine.

For here, the consensus I've come to is the girls just want to preserve their own self image. They don't want to feel like a bitch for cancelling, so they extend a fake olive branch hoping that you will tell them never mind or ignore them so they won't have to feel bad about ditching you.

^^ I agree with the above. It's totally normal and expected in Japan now.

Personally I don't send confirmation messages, as I think it gives an impression of insecurity on my part (even if it's not true). I wait for them to message me. But I can see the logic behind making them commit either way. Also, don't feel too bad about double booking. Girls have brought it upon themselves so you have to adapt to the times.

It can be hard to tell who is legitimately sick or busy. Basically, assume that 99.99% are full of it. It's better for your overall mental state to do so instead of clinging onto hope. Write them off and anything better is a welcome surprise.

By the way, I think the key difference is that a girl who is into you will apologise profusely and PROACTIVELY suggest another date. That's when you know they are telling the truth.

As some of you are probably aware, the LalaPort malls in the Tokyo area are among the best malls in Kanto. The one in Yokohama near Ikea is especially good for hunting. A couple of weeks ago, LalaPort opened a new mall in Ebina, an outer suburb on the Odakyu line. The mall is probably their biggest yet, but from what I've seen, it's probably not worth the trip out there for you Tokyo joes.

While it's new and fresh, people from all over Kanto will be checking it out. On weekends, however, that means mostly couples and families. On weekdays during the days, that means lots of moms. However, in my observation, the moms out there during the weekdays are lacking in quality. There are many more hot moms up in Tokyo inside the Yamanote, so I don't think the one-hour train ride from Tokyo is worth it.

(11-13-2015 02:38 AM)dreambig Wrote:  ^^ I agree with the above. It's totally normal and expected in Japan now.

Personally I don't send confirmation messages, as I think it gives an impression of insecurity on my part (even if it's not true). I wait for them to message me. But I can see the logic behind making them commit either way. Also, don't feel too bad about double booking. Girls have brought it upon themselves so you have to adapt to the times.

It can be hard to tell who is legitimately sick or busy. Basically, assume that 99.99% are full of it. It's better for your overall mental state to do so instead of clinging onto hope. Write them off and anything better is a welcome surprise.

By the way, I think the key difference is that a girl who is into you will apologise profusely and PROACTIVELY suggest another date. That's when you know they are telling the truth.

I want to continue this a little bit more.

I agree about the confirmation before sounding a little needy, to get around that usually when I make plans I only really tell them a rough time of day. Like, the girl I'm meeting tonight I told her 11/14 let's hit up an Isaka at night for dinner. So yesterday the mail I sent was more just a continuation of me telling her what time I decided I was able to meet, which gave her time to figure out when to start preparing.

Also as it turned out, another girl visiting Osaka tried to book herself into my weekend. So, if by some chance this girl does flake on me I have another one who was asking me to come out with her.

The part about the profuse apologies is also spot on, those are the girls who legitimately looked forward to meeting but something did come up last minute. Though I have found that they might not always directly suggest another time but do the open ended apology hoping for you to suggest another day. I have also had times where girls call me nearly at or shortly after the meeting time claiming to have overslept, which I didn't believe, but then either asked to meet as soon as they could arrive from home or the next day. Usually when that happened, despite my skepticism I would get the bang. However, I'm always curious if they were busy banging someone else when they were supposed to oversleeping.

Not trying to fill up this thread with my own personal log, but I have some of my approaches from last night recorded here. Not sure I can add any value that hasn't already been said here, but to repeat that the communication barrier is a real fucking problem. I also feel like I was at a pretty tough place, in that the ratio was horribly skewed against me and a lot of the girls seemed like they were hostesses coming after work.

Beyond that, I had a few questions for the more experienced folks.

1) What are your thoughts on direct game in Japan? Different for daygame v. nightgame? I'm tempted to get into some daygame, but I feel corny as fuck asking for directions, so my initial inclination is to go direct. The problem with that is it's even more approach anxiety inducing. With night game my actions are pretty congruent to my personality/motivation. I just say hi and try to get to know them. I don't feel awkward about it at all either because wtf are people in a club if not to meet other people. Can't particularly do that at day time because it's like 'wtf why is this dude fucking stopping me to say hi, introduce himself, and ask me about myself' lol.

2) ... fuck I forgot the other one.

@Fomal
Direct game is not well received because of the Nanpa culture in japan. Doing intimate stuff (based on japanese Standards) in public is a bad thing on its own so even if the girl likes you, she will have social pressure cockblocking her and forcing her to deny or ignore you, because that's what a 'decent' girl is supposed to do according to society.
My advice for daygame is, try to make the encounter look like a coincidence guided by fate. basically don't go direct. If you are tall and blond with blue eyes though, always go direct and play the numbers game.

At night, especially in bars and clubs you can go direct all the way. After many fails here I have realized that you shouldn't care at all about what japanese girls say and just go for it aggressively.
Edit: What I mean by go in aggressively is maintaining a really strong frame while approaching girls at night when going direct. You have to show her that you want to take her home really soon after building a tiny bit of trust. And if she acts like she doesnt want it to go the that way it is a lie. Almost every rejection a japanese girl will give you is just a lie, if she doesnt walk away from you or ignore you. So always try to game them while being on the edge. And never expect any outcome.


What I have observed in Bars and Clubs is that Japanese men have the shittiest game ever but still get girls to fuck them just by being persistent. They just get drunk to grow some balls to actually approach women, and if they do they just go in and literally grab them to pull them somewhere/to them. The girls act like they dont like it but if the man is persistent and somehow her type, she will eventually go with him. If he is not her type or just a drunk retard, she will make her escape and wait for the next dude to grab her....

What I did wrong a lot of times was going for the kiss or sexual touches way too late. In Clubs I have absolutely no problems attracting girls and pull them into my group of friends to dance with them. But everytime I dance with the girl longer than 3 mins without kissing or touching her in an intimate way, she quickly thought I wasn't interested in having sex with her.

Btw I am always going to clubs and bars in a group. It's fairly easy to pull girls when I am in a group, since they see me having high energy and decent looks and want to be part of the group. The problem sometimes is I have people in the group I don't want to see me gaming chicks. So I really have to hold back and only get Lines...
I rarely go alone into a Club but I do want to improve my solo game. Does someone have advice for going out solo? I normally go to a group of Japanese guys and start doing crazy stuff with them and they insta like me cause I am a gaijin and givin them special attention. From there I try to use them as my homebase and go search for girls. But I still feel kinda the need for a wingman since japanese chicks really love to cockblock each other.... And the japanese guys are way to unreliable...

(11-14-2015 05:09 AM)Fomalhaut Wrote:  Not trying to fill up this thread with my own personal log, but I have some of my approaches from last night recorded here. Not sure I can add any value that hasn't already been said here, but to repeat that the communication barrier is a real fucking problem. I also feel like I was at a pretty tough place, in that the ratio was horribly skewed against me and a lot of the girls seemed like they were hostesses coming after work.

Beyond that, I had a few questions for the more experienced folks.

1) What are your thoughts on direct game in Japan? Different for daygame v. nightgame? I'm tempted to get into some daygame, but I feel corny as fuck asking for directions, so my initial inclination is to go direct. The problem with that is it's even more approach anxiety inducing. With night game my actions are pretty congruent to my personality/motivation. I just say hi and try to get to know them. I don't feel awkward about it at all either because wtf are people in a club if not to meet other people. Can't particularly do that at day time because it's like 'wtf why is this dude fucking stopping me to say hi, introduce himself, and ask me about myself' lol.

2) ... fuck I forgot the other one.

Direct game can work on the streets but you will feel like your playing the numbers game. I have gotten laid by being direct in a few daygame encounters in Japan.

I still prefer going under the radar and not being so obvious.

Earlier in this thread I gave several direct Japanese lines you can use, that show intent and get to the point.

Indirect is designed to invoke a girls sense of helpfulness, and to get her listening while you talk.

I've extensively used Roosh's daybang method (adapted for Japan) and recommend checking it out.

Quote:Direct game is not well received because of the Nanpa culture in japan. Doing intimate stuff (based on japanese Standards) in public is a bad thing on its own so even if the girl likes you, she will have social pressure cockblocking her and forcing her to deny or ignore you, because that's what a 'decent' girl is supposed to do according to society.
My advice for daygame is, try to make the encounter look like a coincidence guided by fate. basically don't go direct. If you are tall and blond with blue eyes though, always go direct and play the numbers game.

At night, especially in bars and clubs you can go direct all the way. After many fails here I have realized that you shouldn't care at all about what japanese girls say and just go for it aggressively.
Edit: What I mean by go in aggressively is maintaining a really strong frame while approaching girls at night when going direct. You have to show her that you want to take her home really soon after building a tiny bit of trust. And if she acts like she doesnt want it to go the that way it is a lie. Almost every rejection a japanese girl will give you is just a lie, if she doesnt walk away from you or ignore you. So always try to game them while being on the edge. And never expect any outcome.

I feel like this should be the opposite way around though -- daytime, at least if she's alone, she doesn't really have anyone there to stand and judge her. With clubs, they're generally with friends and I'd imagine they'd feel a lot more conscious about how they're being judged.

Quote:Direct game can work on the streets but you will feel like your playing the numbers game. I have gotten laid by being direct in a few daygame encounters in Japan.

I still prefer going under the radar and not being so obvious.

Earlier in this thread I gave several direct Japanese lines you can use, that show intent and get to the point.

Indirect is designed to invoke a girls sense of helpfulness, and to get her listening while you talk.

I've extensively used Roosh's daybang method (adapted for Japan) and recommend checking it out.

I'll check out Daybang then. I'm thinking I'd like to finish my 100 approaches with pure night game so I feel more confident about approaching as day game still seems intimidating as fuck to me. The issue is that I only ended up going out once this week, which doesn't give me too many opportunities to approach.

Quote:What I did wrong a lot of times was going for the kiss or sexual touches way too late. In Clubs I have absolutely no problems attracting girls and pull them into my group of friends to dance with them. But everytime I dance with the girl longer than 3 mins without kissing or touching her in an intimate way, she quickly thought I wasn't interested in having sex with her.

I generally have no problems with escalating, esp. when on the dance floor. I use a lot of kino, but I'm bad at going for the kiss. I've heard that club makeouts are generally a no no here though from previous posters, and that it's better to take her somewhere private and kiss her instead. On the other hand, I've seen some natural friends go for dancefloor makeout and then pull them back to their place. I've been sticking with subtle kino a la Gambler's recommendation, with your hand behind their hair and doing some back stroking / hair pulling without anyone being able to see.

Quote:Btw I am always going to clubs and bars in a group. It's fairly easy to pull girls when I am in a group, since they see me having high energy and decent looks and want to be part of the group. The problem sometimes is I have people in the group I don't want to see me gaming chicks. So I really have to hold back and only get Lines...
I rarely go alone into a Club but I do want to improve my solo game. Does someone have advice for going out solo? I normally go to a group of Japanese guys and start doing crazy stuff with them and they insta like me cause I am a gaijin and givin them special attention. From there I try to use them as my homebase and go search for girls. But I still feel kinda the need for a wingman since japanese chicks really love to cockblock each other.... And the japanese guys are way to unreliable...

Yeah, I'm generally in a group too as I haven't felt too comfortable going solo to clubs. I generally have someone or the other who's down to go out, but the problem is that they're not always in a club mood (and I'm not always either.) The night life in my area kinda blows, so it's clubs that close at 1 AM or izakayas where you don't have many opportunities to meet people.

Some of you guys have a good place to go in Shinjuku? I set up a date there but don't know good spots to close the deal. Normal I go more to Ikebukuro. My plan at the moment is to just walk accidental into the love hotel area in Kabukicho

(11-16-2015 11:32 AM)Parzival Wrote:  Some of you guys have a good place to go in Shinjuku? I set up a date there but don't know good spots to close the deal. Normal I go more to Ikebukuro. My plan at the moment is to just walk accidental into the love hotel area in Kabukicho

Your ramble ability strong? If she knows Shinjuku at all she's gonna know what's up within 2 minutes what your trying to do. But, she probably is already hoping to be taken there after you guys get a bit liquored up at an Izakaya.

My knowledge of Shinjuku is limited[but if you're ever in Osaka I can help you out], I know that one major section off near the west gates that has tons of Isakayas but as for the atmosphere you may want, I'm hoping some of the Tokyo members will see this and weigh on on it soon for you.

(11-16-2015 11:32 AM)Parzival Wrote:  Some of you guys have a good place to go in Shinjuku? I set up a date there but don't know good spots to close the deal. Normal I go more to Ikebukuro. My plan at the moment is to just walk accidental into the love hotel area in Kabukicho

Try Christon Cafe in Shinjuku. Its an opulent goth cafe, but the decor and ambiance is spot on. There is zero gawker factor there as well (meaning no tourists) that some of the other niche cafes get in Tokyo.

Also the girls that work there can be straight fire hot, and the booths are perfect for getting hidden.

I read every page of this thread and it's been really helpful, but also inspiring.

I have only been in Japan for a few months with around N3 level speaking/listening. I'm in Hokkaido so there's not many English speakers around.

I'd say I've only done about 5 or 6 approaches (all day game at uni) but they all seem to go about the same. I approach a 7ish that I think has sent me a few iois. It seems to start out alright but, I can only talk to them for about a minute or so before it becomes apparent my Japanese isn't great and then things kind of fizzle and we awkwardly go our separate ways.

It's frustrating for sure but, this thread has helped me keep a positive attitude seeing all you guys succeeding here. I've been studying and working out a lot trying to improve things.

Is there anything else I should be doing? I'm not sure if I should keep approaching with my Japanese the way it is? For instance there's an 8 I've seen around a bit but haven't approached as I've kind of been "saving" that one for when I feel comfortable enough to at least line close in Japanese.

Thanks

(11-20-2015 05:47 AM)madamada Wrote:  I'd say I've only done about 5 or 6 approaches (all day game at uni) but they all seem to go about the same. I approach a 7ish that I think has sent me a few iois. It seems to start out alright but, I can only talk to them for about a minute or so before it becomes apparent my Japanese isn't great and then things kind of fizzle and we awkwardly go our separate ways.

It's frustrating for sure but, this thread has helped me keep a positive attitude seeing all you guys succeeding here. I've been studying and working out a lot trying to improve things.

Is there anything else I should be doing? I'm not sure if I should keep approaching with my Japanese the way it is? For instance there's an 8 I've seen around a bit but haven't approached as I've kind of been "saving" that one for when I feel comfortable enough to at least line close in Japanese.

That's not a lot of approaches. I would normally do more in a single session of street game in Tokyo. You will need a lot more than that to draw any kind of conclusion from the results. Try doing at least 100 and see how you go.

Keep working on your Japanese but use English at first if your conversational skills are still weak. Puts you in the stronger position for the interaction. Can always "rescue" them if it becomes apparent that they speak zero English.

(11-20-2015 05:47 AM)madamada Wrote:  I read every page of this thread and it's been really helpful, but also inspiring.

I have only been in Japan for a few months with around N3 level speaking/listening. I'm in Hokkaido so there's not many English speakers around.

I'd say I've only done about 5 or 6 approaches (all day game at uni) but they all seem to go about the same. I approach a 7ish that I think has sent me a few iois. It seems to start out alright but, I can only talk to them for about a minute or so before it becomes apparent my Japanese isn't great and then things kind of fizzle and we awkwardly go our separate ways.

It's frustrating for sure but, this thread has helped me keep a positive attitude seeing all you guys succeeding here. I've been studying and working out a lot trying to improve things.

Is there anything else I should be doing? I'm not sure if I should keep approaching with my Japanese the way it is? For instance there's an 8 I've seen around a bit but haven't approached as I've kind of been "saving" that one for when I feel comfortable enough to at least line close in Japanese.

Thanks

Yes, you should keep approaching with your Japanese the way it is. I started off the same as you.

If you want to study something that relates to your current situation I highly recommend reading "nanpa blogs." Japan is full of bloggers talking about what they say to girls. What they say is not any different than what we say on this forum. But it's interesting to see how they say it in Japanese. It's free and that should keep you busy for a while.

I had never thought about looking up nanpa blogs. Could possibly lead to a few hours of time I would waste elsewhere, except learning pertinent Japanese.

I too worked up my Japanese approaching in just Japanese, possibly for picking up starting in English may be better since when you switch to Japanese they may think "Oh, this guy can speak some Japanese too" that and most of my friends who pickup in Osaka always open in English.

Also like dreambig said, you'll want to do a lot more approaches. I personally stick to bars and places I can chill in so in a day I probably approach 1-5 girls in a night if I'm trying to game.

Thanks for the responses.

Are there any specific nanpa blogs you would recommend? I googled ナンパブログ　and read through a few posts on a couple but they seemed like regular blogs and nothing to do with pu.

I know I definitely need to do more approaches. I am starting to think uni is a bad place for doing these. I tried to do 2 approaches yesterday and could not do them. People generally are walking so fast that I can't even catch up to them without running and even the few that aren't nearly sprinting have a class or something and I haven't even been able to LINE close in that short time span.

(11-28-2015 04:51 AM)madamada Wrote:  Thanks for the responses.

Are there any specific nanpa blogs you would recommend? I googled ナンパブログ　and read through a few posts on a couple but they seemed like regular blogs and nothing to do with pu.

I know I definitely need to do more approaches. I am starting to think uni is a bad place for doing these. I tried to do 2 approaches yesterday and could not do them. People generally are walking so fast that I can't even catch up to them without running and even the few that aren't nearly sprinting have a class or something and I haven't even been able to LINE close in that short time span.

Google ナンパブログ and filter your search results to show only posts that happened within the month or year. In Google: search tools > anytime > Past month.

This will filter out most of the generic blogs.

Also google: ナンパ声をかけた < --- since this is what you will be doing a lot of.

Here is a short list, but this is still pretty good. Lots of slang, examples , just about everything you can find is somewhere in all this. I use quite of few of these and helped game j-girls immensely.

Keep in mind with all this, you should add your own flair to it.

And also you can copy and paste phrases you find interesting into google and that will lead to more blogs and examples.

http://news.ameba.jp/20130628-165/
----what to look for: girls walking slow, girls walking fast, etc.

http://blog.livedoor.jp/kou666/?p=2
some text game, net nanpa, hotels etc

http://yaplog.jp/konjou3/archive/2315
this blog , this guys does seijitsu nanpa (honest nanpa)
goes direct, has a youtube channel , seems good,

http://nanpatalk.hatenablog.com/
this one is huge, it's pretty good, nice blog
give examples of approaches, some advice on texting, etc, lots of shit. I don't like this guys approach, but I use it for studying nanpa lingo.

http://nanpa-bibouroku.blogspot.jp/
--some good stories, and examples

http://aa1127.blog.fc2.com/category4-3.html
---Learned a few things from this site


http://yuuki41.blog65.fc2.com/blog-entry-16.html
---direct game, basic reply a girl will give you

http://mikoshiba-kiyomaro.doorblog.jp/ar...62037.html
some good examples , i got a few lines here.

http://gihuto1112.cocolog-nifty.com/blog...index.html
saved this article , it has some good stuff

http://www.nanpazista.com/3koekakekaisetu.html
----example of what a j-guy might approach a girl with, and a girls likely reaction when she calls him scout or catcher.

http://ナンパ方法.net/?p=1442
some compliments that are different than just the ordinary "kirei desu ne."

check out
http://w-nanpashi.jp/category/%E3%83%8A%...%E3%82%A6/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMC7urg428k

Hilarious video. It seems japanese girls stereotype foreign dudes as much as some foreign dudes stereotype them.

Pretty interesting video. I feel like these girls are relatively honest about what they're attracted to (be aggressive, lead, etc.), whereas if you were to do the same thing in the US you'd get some bs like "BE A NICE GUY"

also rofl these youtube comments:

Quote:I think maybe the use of the word aggressive was a little misplaced. Perhaps a less forceful synonym with less negative connotations like forward or assertive

I want to puke.

I love reading the daygame reports from the Japanese nampa guys. Not so much for advice, but it's fascinating to see them write up street approaches and talk about different girls they have some success with. In general, they go into much more detail than western bloggers. It's great language practice and gives you that all important cultural insight into the way you should be screening various chicks.

To add to the above, I sometimes look up Japanese blogs when in foreign countries. Especially Asian ones. Now and then, you will fall upon really interesting breakdowns of the local women. Game-aware or not, these guys bring some fascinating viewpoints that would be welcome around here.

Here is one such column on Thai girls:

http://freelifer.jp/?p=5389

Yeah, I've noticed some hate for Japanese dudes on this thread, but honestly in my interactions with them, they're pretty cool. I feel like it'd be an experience to hang out with a nampa guy, but unfortunately my grasp of the Japanese language is pretty awful. I can't even read those blogs.

(11-16-2015 11:32 AM)Parzival Wrote:  Some of you guys have a good place to go in Shinjuku? I set up a date there but don't know good spots to close the deal. Normal I go more to Ikebukuro. My plan at the moment is to just walk accidental into the love hotel area in Kabukicho

That Christon Café looks like the perfect date spot. I wish I had known about it when I used to hang out there.

I went on several dates in the Shinjuku area. For my first venue I took them to a piano bar behind the Studio Alt area. I don't remember the name of the bar, but it's near the Pronto café if I remember right, above a Spanish restaurant. All the seating was counter seating so I was assured of being able to sit next to my date.

For the second venue I would bounce to Golden Gai. I picked out a hole-in-the wall bar near the opposite side of that small district from the main entrance, because the street on that side leads directly to the love hotel area without having to walk through the middle of Kabukicho. Walking through the middle of Kabukicho is probably best avoided with your date. If you pull up Shinjuku on Google maps and look at where Golden Gai is and where the love hotels are, I think you'll see what I mean. I met three dates in Shinjuku and was able to get all three of them into a love hotel with those logistics.

Is it true that only in Japan "Kawaii" (cute) is considered sexy? It is just that throughout my adult life, I have been described as "very cute" by a whole host of women I have met. And I feel like Japan might be the best place to capitalise on this?