Post: #651

Checking back in. I was on board and going strong from just before New Years until mid-march then fell off hard. Back on as of July 6th and going strong... I'm not falling off this time.

Props to bilbo! Work on personal development and learn to be social while sober, something that I really wish I did earlier on in life. Taking me a long time to adapt now although I'm only in my early 20s.

Post: #652

8 months in. Over the hump, and no urge to drink now. The combination of moving to a new city at the same time as undertaking this challenge has made me something of a recluse. I rarely go out, and when I do I mostly get bored standing around by myself drinking red bull and smoking cigarettes.

I definitely am not learning how to interact and run game sober. On that rare occasion I do engage a group a mixed group I feel like a talk show host, directing the conversation and making reasonably funny jokes but overall feeling bored and like I am doing a job instead of having fun. I should push myself much harder socially, like when I did when I was young and drinking but I just don't feel the hunger for it.

I also sense that although I would like to make some new "real" friends, I will never meet those people in a bar.

As for women, it's a disaster. Not a complete desert, as I have been propositioned unsolicited by fat girls, had drunk chubby girls start making out with me (again unsolicited) but was just far too put off to close the deal even with my thirst. Feeling too misanthropic and negative about people, girls in general and approaching cute girls. Such a change from when I used to approach joyfully when I first started partying at 24/25 or so.

Definitely very sharp and creative in my work, that is one positive about the wagon.

Thank you Liz for all you have done to guide us in this. This is the grind and shitty part. I think it will pay off in the end and I am going to grind it out to the bitter end.

Post: #653

(09-01-2014 11:50 PM)rdvirus Wrote:  Checking back in. I was on board and going strong from just before New Years until mid-march then fell off hard. Back on as of July 6th and going strong... I'm not falling off this time.

Props to bilbo! Work on personal development and learn to be social while sober, something that I really wish I did earlier on in life. Taking me a long time to adapt now although I'm only in my early 20s.

rdvirus, thanks for the update and welcome back aboard as of July 6.

Post: #654

(09-02-2014 05:34 AM)Tyrone Slothrop Wrote:  8 months in. Over the hump, and no urge to drink now. The combination of moving to a new city at the same time as undertaking this challenge has made me something of a recluse. I rarely go out, and when I do I mostly get bored standing around by myself drinking red bull and smoking cigarettes.

I definitely am not learning how to interact and run game sober. On that rare occasion I do engage a group a mixed group I feel like a talk show host, directing the conversation and making reasonably funny jokes but overall feeling bored and like I am doing a job instead of having fun. I should push myself much harder socially, like when I did when I was young and drinking but I just don't feel the hunger for it.

I also sense that although I would like to make some new "real" friends, I will never meet those people in a bar.

As for women, it's a disaster. Not a complete desert, as I have been propositioned unsolicited by fat girls, had drunk chubby girls start making out with me (again unsolicited) but was just far too put off to close the deal even with my thirst. Feeling too misanthropic and negative about people, girls in general and approaching cute girls. Such a change from when I used to approach joyfully when I first started partying at 24/25 or so.

Definitely very sharp and creative in my work, that is one positive about the wagon.

Thank you Liz for all you have done to guide us in this. This is the grind and shitty part. I think it will pay off in the end and I am going to grind it out to the bitter end.

Tyrone,

Thank you for the honest post.

You are right -- the grind will pay off in the end, it is what pays off. Patience is the least glamorous virtue, but if you have it, good things tend to come over time.

A couple of thoughts/suggestions:

1. Hate to sound like a Mormon all the time, but I'd go easy on the Red Bulls and cigs. Nicotine and caffeine are classic things that drinkers lean on during the wagon, and they're not doing you any favors. They are probably making you overall more tired, less energetic, and certainly less healthy. If I were you, I'd let the cigs go, and I'd confine the coffee to one cup a day, in the first half of the day, and never on an empty stomach. One cup after either lunch or breakfast is ideal. People underestimate how potent these drugs are, especially caffeine. I know it sounds like I'm saying you should give up every vice under the sun, but since you're on the wagon already why not try to really treat your body well and find out what that's like? You might be surprised at how much of a difference that makes over time.

2. It sounds to me like you might do better with a steady girl if you can find a reasonable candidate, rather than trying to randomly pick them up. Not everyone has the personality type to keep going out and meeting new people all the time. I'm not saying you shouldn't make more of an effort, you probably should at some point. But I think every man starts out with a particular personality, and it is best to make efforts along lines that build on your natural inclinations, rather than trying to reinvent oneself completely, because the latter rarely happens. It's good to challenge yourself and set goals but it works best when the goals are in line with one's character and situation in life, and are challenging but doable. And it's always best to work on such things incrementally, rather than trying to do it all at once.

I wrote about that in this post on Dusty's REBT thread (that whole thread makes for great reading for people who are trying to improve their lives by adopting better habits and ways of thinking and feeling). Check it out if you feel like it.

/thread-28873-...#pid579374

Post: #655

I am 21 now, and I've been drinking quite heavily since 16. Tried to reduce alcohol intake a couple of times, however it usually means I am playing ''catch up'' a couple days later. Today is my second day sober, I set myself the challange for a month to see where it goes [baby steps]. I usually drink to be happy or social [how do you guys do that without alcohol?].

Post: #656

8+ months down, checking in.

Overall, things are great. I've gotten into so many good habits that they feed off of one another. I finally found a creative outlet for energy (dedicated myself to doing at least one drawing a day for over a month now), and have been coming up with lots of great ideas. My attitude is much improved, even when compared to six months ago (or two months into this experiment).

Managed to get my weight from 195 (that was slowly creeping up) to now steadily holding 175-180, thanks to consistent workouts and IF. Have been having the biggest/cheapest time of my life meeting girls because I'm rarely in bars and my approach anxiety is so low that I have a hard time NOT making conversation with cute girls around me. I'm in a sweet spot right now after some dry spells, so I've been able to not focus too much on girls at all, instead focusing on self improvement. Also, changed careers into a different industry (similar day to day tasks, but it is much lower stress and more creative).

Now, if only I could keep the NOFAP thing going, that's much more difficult for me once I tumble off the wagon. Still don't see much of a desire to drink at the end of the year once this is over. Maybe once in a while with really high quality stuff. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Post: #657

A week has gone by and I have kept away from bars and sticked to daygaming on the campus as it's my first year in college. Wonderful changes so far, the most notable being an improvement of my acne and other skin problems. I always wondered why I get a zit or two after drinking, even if it was only a glass or two of wine or some other light beverages.

Still, a definite problem to address would be my subpar performance in night settings, which takes away from potential bangs. The problem is actually more related to energy levels, as I find it hard to talk to girls who are seemingly much more social at this point. It seems as if day game is the only real solution as going out faking a high seems stupid to me.

Now, I know that I can control my drinking and stick to a light buzz and not go overboard easily, but the health benefits and the boost it gives to my academic performance and appearance is maybe worth more in the long run than a few notches here and there from chicks I wouldn't even look at during the day.

Post: #658

Well, I had a good run. Made it from Jan 1 to sometime in mid June when a reunion with some university buddies led to drinking. I have been drinking back to my prior levels the last three months- basically every weekend. But I never casually drink- I'm just one of those people who love getting drunk and I always seem to over do it. But I re read Lizards posts after a particularity messy weekend and I've started noticing some of what he was saying creep back- life now seems boring when I'm not drinking. I know alcohol is the culprit- I was really noticing improvements with my sober life skills before I fell off the wagon. When I wasn't drinking I was so much more efficient with my time, but now I feel those feelings creeping back in that I struggled with before- that little voice in my head is getting louder and louder, and I'm always anxious about the week ending so I can have a Friday drink a thon. So here's to a new beginning- Sept 14 2014 is my new start day- I just turned 26, here is a chance for me to make this the best year of my life. To all you guys still keeping at it, I tip my hat to you. I now am starting to finally clue in that most of the problems in my life stem from drinking, and it's time for a fresh start.

Post: #659

komatiite, thanks for the post -- I think the experience you describe is one that is shared by many hard drinkers. I hope guys read your post with attention.

Being on the wagon even for a little over 5 months gave you the perspective that allowed you to see the subtler negative effects of hard drinking, which can be hard to see without the contrasting experience of the wagon. Once you go through the full year -- which I think you will this time -- you will have an even better perspective from which to judge these things.

Welcome aboard again as of September 14, and hope to hear more from you on the thread over time.

Post: #660

Hey guys, just to be straightforward, I gave it 45 days and then called an end. Probably should go back on soon enough.

Post: #661

I wonder if anyone feel like life feel slower after you hopped on the wagon.

And other people's egos don't affect you anymore.

unrelated: The Godfather is a beautiful picture.

Post: #662

Back on board. Took me long enough.

September 20th, motherfuckers.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Rudyard Kipling

Post: #663

Beyond Borders, are you in for a full year?

Post: #664

(09-19-2014 03:27 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  Back on board. Took me long enough.

September 20th, motherfuckers.

Welcome sir!

It's good to be on the wagon.

Post: #665

(09-19-2014 04:50 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Beyond Borders, are you in for a full year?

Yep.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Rudyard Kipling

Post: #666

(09-20-2014 03:03 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(09-19-2014 04:50 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Beyond Borders, are you in for a full year?

Yep.

Excellent. Welcome aboard as of September 20.

Post: #667

Welp, time to get back on. It's probably not good to drink when it causes you physical pain.

Post: #668

(09-20-2014 06:00 PM)aphelion Wrote:  Welp, time to get back on. It's probably not good to drink when it causes you physical pain.

What kind of physical pain?

Are you in for a full year? If so, please post your new start date.

Post: #669

Liver area. Feels kinda sharp but like an inflammation rather than a stab wound. Dies down after about a day off the sauce, so now it's gone.

What day is it? 9/21? That's today, let's go.

Post: #670

I mean, I'd have to be highly delusional not to connect the dots. It's liver-related for sure.

Post: #671

aphelion, yes sounds like a liver inflammation because of drinking. It should be reversible but it's as good a sign as any that it's time to lay off the sauce.

Welcome aboard as of September 21.

Post: #672

(09-21-2014 02:14 PM)aphelion Wrote:  I mean, I'd have to be highly delusional not to connect the dots. It's liver-related for sure.

Hmm, I've been thinking about it more. You're probably a little young to have alcohol related liver symptoms, even if you've been a hard drinker.

I think it's more likely to be gall bladder pain, which can also be provoked by alcohol. It's a good idea to lay off the sauce in any case, of course. But I'd wager it's a little too early for you to be seeing even reversible liver damage symptoms.

Post: #673

Gas pain mixed with anxiety. Slow down and regroup

Post: #674

Pancreatis, could be. The pain sometimes got very high up on my rib cage, had no idea my gallbladder was located there.

Thanks for the tip. That actually seems more likely a cause of the problems. The timing is accurate and the pain is a bit more localized I think. And yes, I guess I haven't been drinking quite as long or hard as some, although I do tend to binge drink when I do.

So, that's probably more like it. Anyway, don't want to destroy my pancreas either. I think I need that. So, day 3!

Post: #675

aphelion, if it's in the upper right quadrant it's pretty likely to be gall bladder pain (which is not the same as pancreatitis). In any case, if you're not in pain right now don't worry about it and just stay on the wagon.

And don't "symptom surf" Google, the only thing that does is add more anxiety.