Post: #1251

Been thinking about this for a while. I'm going for it.

Post: #1252

(11-17-2015 09:06 AM)scubadude Wrote:  Just posting an update. Closing in on 7 months and it's going great. Just feeling great overall and completely clear headed. 100% more productive on a daily basis. Everything that LOZ has or is coming to pass. One of the best decisions I have ever made. For those still on the fence or that keep falling off the wagon, just do it. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. Nobody cares if you don't drink and if they do, fuck 'em. I've had people attempt to force drinks on me a few times and a firm no thanks is all it takes.

scubadude, thanks for the update. A post like this puts a big smile on my face.

But also keep in mind there will likely be periods where things are not going so great and the wagon can become a challenge again. So just remember what you wrote here, and keep going.

(11-19-2015 12:40 AM)offthereservation Wrote:  I had a dream last night that I had a drink and had to start over. I am happy to report I am still on and 7 weeks in.

It has not been "difficult" as I thought it might be.

There have been a few times that I really wanted a drink. One was when I made a major important victory in a legal battle, I really wanted a drink that night. Another was when I was over at a friends house looking at some remodeling and the cold beers looked really appealing. In each of these I just thought to myself, "I'll pass for now," and was able to continue the wagon according to plan.

Prior to starting I was most worried about clients or times at bars. I just said that I was taking a break and no one harassed me much.

I feel pretty clear headed and do not miss the headaches that I would get seemingly randomly from small amounts of alcohol sometimes. I lost some weight mostly in the start.

I was a lurker before here thinking about doing this and now I have no regrets so far.

OTR, thank you for the update. 7 weeks is still early going but the wagon is gaining a little bit of steam now.

The drinking dreams are completely normal -- I still get them sometimes, more than eight and a half years in. They're actually a good sign -- it means your brain is taking the idea of the wagon seriously and trying to process it.

(11-19-2015 05:39 AM)PJ25 Wrote:  Been thinking about this for a while. I'm going for it.

PJ25, if you are in for a full year, please post your start date here.

Post: #1253

11/19 start date.

Post: #1254

(11-20-2015 02:45 PM)PJ25 Wrote:  11/19 start date.

PJ25, welcome aboard as of November 19, 2015 and hope to hear more from you here over time.

Post: #1255

Seven months as of yesterday. Not much to say...I've done it before and I'm at a point where not drinking just feels "normal" to me. Last night I went out with my friends for food and drinks. I ate, they ate and drank. They were still going strong but after two hours I'd had enough so I took off. No big deal. By the time they're that drunk they don't even notice I'm not there.

I also have the occasional "oh no I got drunk!" dream and I like it cause when I wake up it feels like I've "accomplished" something. It reaffirms that I haven't slipped in real life.

I'm feeling confident...no way am I throwing away 7 months of progress at this point, even with the holidays coming up. Last year I didn't drink at christmas or New Year's or end of the year parties or any of that. Sure, there is a tremendous temptation to do so...but I don't want the guilt and disappointment in myself on top of a massive hangover to be the first thing I feel in 2016. Not worth it at all.

Now, if only I could get my EATING under control like I have my drinking...is there a thread for that?

Post: #1256

its hilarious how everyone has had dreams about drinking. several months ago I had such a lucid dream where I drank and I was like goddamnit I blew it! but I got a do-over 'cause it wasn't real. Ive had similar dreams about grabbing girls' asses in public cause I realized I could 'get away with it' by waking up.

Post: #1257

(11-21-2015 01:37 AM)Disco_Volante Wrote:  its hilarious how everyone has had dreams about drinking. several months ago I had such a lucid dream where I drank and I was like goddamnit I blew it! but I got a do-over 'cause it wasn't real. Ive had similar dreams about grabbing girls' asses in public cause I realized I could 'get away with it' by waking up.

Wow, I logged in today for the express purpose of posting how I just had a dream last night that I was drinking. These dreams must be going around.

I was angry at myself in the dream for doing it and didn't know how I could be so careless to let it happen. It seemed so real. I figure the dream is expressing how I really need to be careful about slipping and also how I will feel about myself if I do.

Thank God it was just a dream. Sometimes dreams can be great early-warning mechanisms.

Post: #1258

Checking in at 6 weeks. Realise its the dull moments as well as feeling good that are important on the wagon.

Its in these dull moments of malady that I would become frustrated & head straight to the corner shop for cheap booze and a temporary fix, now I simply have to ride it out.

In the UK we're having a cold snap at the moment, and the thought of getting pissed up at a nice warm crowded pub is inviting though the thought of being sober in one is unbearable.

I know I'll feel great at 7am tomorrow though as usual.

Cheers guys.

Post: #1259

(11-21-2015 01:29 AM)etwsake Wrote:  Now, if only I could get my EATING under control like I have my drinking...is there a thread for that?

Not drinking has made my eating worse. It's as if I NEED a vice, or at least a source of social interaction (since going out to eat is up there with drinking in regard to the typical nightlife and weekend activities.

Post: #1260

(11-21-2015 03:01 PM)PeterTheBeta Wrote:  Checking in at 6 weeks. Realise its the dull moments as well as feeling good that are important on the wagon.

Its in these dull moments of malady that I would become frustrated & head straight to the corner shop for cheap booze and a temporary fix, now I simply have to ride it out.

In the UK we're having a cold snap at the moment, and the thought of getting pissed up at a nice warm crowded pub is inviting though the thought of being sober in one is unbearable.

I know I'll feel great at 7am tomorrow though as usual.

Cheers guys.

Life's funny like that. Rarely are we rewarded for our good decisions, only punished for our bad ones. I try to envision how things could've been worse to keep me on the path of making good decisions. For instance, you may wake up tomorrow with nothing to do and wonder why you skipped on getting pissed the night before. What you won't get to see is the possible experiences of: making a regrettable phone call while drunk, getting into a fight over something stupid, lost money, feelings of depression, getting arrested, etc.

We all tend to focus on how far we have to go, but every once in a while, stop, look back, and see how far you've come.

Post: #1261

(11-21-2015 03:01 PM)PeterTheBeta Wrote:  Checking in at 6 weeks. Realise its the dull moments as well as feeling good that are important on the wagon.

Its in these dull moments of malady that I would become frustrated & head straight to the corner shop for cheap booze and a temporary fix, now I simply have to ride it out.

In the UK we're having a cold snap at the moment, and the thought of getting pissed up at a nice warm crowded pub is inviting though the thought of being sober in one is unbearable.

I know I'll feel great at 7am tomorrow though as usual.

Cheers guys.

Peter,

Thank you for this superb and honest post.

These "dull moments of malady" as you so justly called them are not only part of the wagon, but they are what one might call its secret heart. These are the moments that make the wagon -- merely by virtue of being endured without recourse to the unspeakable coziness, warmth, and what the Germans call Gemuetlichkeit -- a kind of special cozy hominess -- that can be had inside a warm crowded pub on a day in the middle of an early cold snap.

I've had the privilege of being in a good English pub on a cold day and having some drinks there, and I can attest to the fact that there is perhaps no place in the world that compares to it in inviting warmth and coziness. It is a perfection of its kind. And yet -- here you are, utterly drinkless and not entering that charmed sphere.

But it is indeed by enduring these moments -- the long dull dry wagon hours -- that the deepest and subtlest benefits of the wagon that I sometimes speak about in this thread about will quietly begin to accrue over the many weeks and months made, in part, of these moments. You will simply have to trust in that -- and to keep going, despite and against your fondest and most cherished wishes. You have to learn to almost perversely relish the very dryness and fallowness of the wagon days -- as if all the sweets of the world and their candied brilliance have been banished from your life, and you are now tasked with relishing a dull morning's watery porridge. But since that is what is served up -- you might as well taste it to the very lees; and keep going.

I never said it was going to be easy.

Post: #1262

Heading out to a social gathering for a birthday party. I know drinking will not be a problem, but I am posting here as a reaffirmation of my decision. I have also decided to bring the last of my alcohol stash as a gift to the party.

-PJ

Post: #1263

(11-21-2015 03:04 PM)nek Wrote:  

(11-21-2015 01:29 AM)etwsake Wrote:  Now, if only I could get my EATING under control like I have my drinking...is there a thread for that?

Not drinking has made my eating worse. It's as if I NEED a vice, or at least a source of social interaction (since going out to eat is up there with drinking in regard to the typical nightlife and weekend activities.

Same for me, and it’s sweets. I’m missing the sweet in life, and I used to fill it with booze and when I ran out of that it would be sweets.

These fuckers still haunt my steps whenever I walk in or near the local CVS.

(11-21-2015 05:58 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  ..and you are now tasked with relishing a dull morning's watery porridge. But since that is what is served up -- you might as well taste it to the very lees; and keep going.

This reminds me of when I quit putting 1/4 cup of sugar in my morning coffee. Black coffee is bitter, but I became accustomed to it and now I’ve acquired a fondness for the bitter. Acquiring a taste for the bitter started in coffee, but has expanded to other things. I fell like I demand less that life be full of happiness and pleasure, and that has been a welcome relief at times for me.

Post: #1264

In as of 11/20.

Mentally, I'm very much in the right place and look forward to sticking to it and posting experiences.

Post: #1265

(11-23-2015 02:38 PM)Alpha Mind Wrote:  In as of 11/20.

Mentally, I'm very much in the right place and look forward to sticking to it and posting experiences.

Alpha Mind, welcome aboard as of November 20, 2015 and I, too, look forward to your future posts here.

Post: #1266

Officially doing a 31 day mini-wagon.

I've heard the liver resets in 30 days and would like to see how this goes. Although not as serious as a full year wagon, I've never done a break like this since...being a teenager.

Thanks to all the posters here whose advice will guide me this next month.

Post: #1267

redbeard, good luck with your microwagon. As you realize, I cannot officially (or even unofficially) welcome you aboard, so you are on your own for that briefest of all months.

Post: #1268

(11-23-2015 09:41 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  redbeard, good luck with your microwagon. As you realize, I cannot officially (or even unofficially) welcome you aboard, so you are on your own for that briefest of all months.

Red's micro-wagon rolls on.

Post: #1269

That's pussified.

Post: #1270

I mostly quit drinking since the end of March and have only drunk 1 bottle of wine since then.

So glad I've done so it's unbelievable.

For those that are not convinced, or have started their wagon and want to reaffirm their motivation I've compiled a few reasons why alcohol you should quit alcohol:

• Expensive
• Devastates Health
• Ruins Your Screening Ability
• Hinders Your State Control
• Disrupts Both Short-Term and Long-Term Memory
• Confidence Becomes State-Dependent
  

Post: #1271

Okay, so I failed pretty miserably two days ago. I was putting off the post for... well, reasons.

I didn't even realize in which ways I actually abuse alcohol. I injured my arm pretty badly a year ago and now I have a sort of chronic pain disorder. So two days ago it had flared up unusually intensely and I just said "fuck it, I need vodka."

And so I did. Two shots and a beer et voilà, the pain was gone.

But then instead of only "using" alcohol this way, (not that I should have done it in the first place, but you know where I am going with this) I ended up hammered 6 hours later. Naturally.

I only really thought about it because of the commitment to the wagon I had made and then it slowly became obvious how stupid my behavior was.

So the next day I went to the doctor and told him all this and surprisingly he said that it makes perfect sense (in a twisted sort of way) to use alcohol against this kind of pain, because it really helps (as opposed to different kinds of pain, which will persist even when you're drunk. He explained a whole lot of medical stuff about nerves, pain and brain reactions.).

He prescribed me some happy pills, and even though I'm highly suspicious of pharma products he said it's only for a limited time and he has used them himself. It's a measure to rewire the brain to keep its attention away from the chronic pain and then stop the treatment and hope the brain keeps the "habit".

I'll rather be a customer of big pharma for a couple of months than to down a bottle of vodka 4 times a week for the rest of my life.

So yeah, it sucks that I fell off but I guess there is no point in crying over spilled milk?

Should I proclaim my new start day as November 25th? The day after I fell off? (Haven't had a drink since, of course)

I'm more than ready to try again. Some pills don't solve my problems and I really feel I need to do this.

Post: #1272

LE50,

If you don't mind my asking, what pills were you prescribed exactly? And what kind of injury was it?

As far as restarting your wagon: you should do so only if you are truly committed to it. A 1 year wagon is a serious decision and not one to be taken lightly. Reflect on it, and if you are truly committed then restart it, post a new start date, and see it through.

There is no need to waste any time feeling down on yourself, or regretting what happened; that's not the point. Simply ask yourself if you've made a firm decision that you are ready to abide by; and if you have, then go for it.

And don't think about it as "trying again". It's always up to you whether to have a drink or not, so it's not really a matter of trying: it's a matter of making a decision and sticking to it no matter what.

Post: #1273

Fascinating thread.

Today will be the first day of my 1 year drinking Wagon challenge!

I'm 25 and don't think there is a single week since i was 18 where i at the very least did not get tipsy. My best memories are alcohol related. It's made the good times with my bros better and the bad times more bearable.

I have come to the conclusion however, that i cannot keep binge drinking 3-4 times a week. Alcohol has affected my life mostly negatively. I look 3-5 years older than i really am. I've spent so much money on booze it pains me sometimes. I've had a few legal troubles back in college and all have been alcohol induced. My undergrad GPA could have been so much better if i had not drank every night and waken up on time for classes.

I was aware of all that but haven't though about seriously quitting until last week.

I met a Japanese ex of mine from about 4 years ago last week. She is a very intuitive person although her English is not the best. Over coffee, she looks me deep in the eyes and says ...

" When i see your eyes now i see sand ... before it was water. Are you still drinking a lot like before?"

Shit hit me like a ton of bricks so I asked her what she meant. She said she could not exactly explain it but "alcohol can change your soul".

"Your soul used to be like water but now it is like sand".

After we parted i went home and pulled out FB pictures of me from 4 years ago. She was right and i hated myself for it. I used to be very happy 21 year old. Now i look into my eyes and see slight melancholy. Nothing too noticeable but it's still there.

I am done with this cancer for a year. Hopefully i'll get my soul back.

Edit: 15 men on the dead's man chest
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Rum
Drink & the devil had done for the rest
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Rum

^ Doing a Pirate of the Caribbean marathon. Even buccaneers knew alcohol was not far behind the devil himself in ruining men's lives!

Post: #1274

Anabasis to Desta, thank you for that post.

25 is often the exact age when drinking begins to change for the hard drinker; when its best young enthusiasms begin to fade, and by degrees, transform into something different and lesser. And for a man who has been drinking hard for years already, it is a good age for a wagon.

You're in for a very interesting year which will test you. When drinking, and drinking hard, has been an inseparable part of one's life for years, its absence is strange and disorienting. You'll come to realize just how deeply it is woven into the fabric of your life. There will be many nights, and some days, when you won't know what to do with yourself, and the idea -- and reality -- of not drinking will make very little sense. Those are the nights and days that make you -- as they all too slowly add up to weeks, months, and seasons.

Welcome aboard as of November 26, 2015 and hope to hear more from you here over time.

Post: #1275

The other night I encountered a bully.

I'm in Jakarta Indonesia right now and I ran into two of the hottest girls I've seen here and that is really saying something.

One of then was with an older than me by about 8 years Frenchman.

He had several bottles at the end of the bar along with one huge whiskey bottle, the kind they put in a kind of stand to look decorative.

He started out cool but as the night wore on his date became more and more flirtatious.

He kept offering me a drink and every time I politely declined. He also increased in trying to make fun of me to which I agreed and amplified rendering his antics useless.

I was interested in his date's friend.

Around the end of the night he grabbed the bottle and turned it upside down shoving the the pourer in my mouth.
It was that or have it spill on me.
I didn't swallow and we stayed like that for what seemed like an awkward length of time.

He said "Just drink and I'll take you to the finest French restaurant in Jakarta"!

I just looked at him kind of pissed and he finally pulled it away acting angry.

I understood why he did this. It was his way of trying to establish his dominance there.

It didn't work and I took the girl to a hotel.

I think in the end he had a lot of respect for me.

In fact I notice people always seem to admire me saying no thanks.