Question for players on the wagon.

I recently moved to a new place with a couple bars walking distance that I'm going to try to get the bartenders locked down. How do you do this without ordering a drink? Tell some jokes an tip a twenty on a club soda with lime?

(12-28-2016 05:26 PM)SiverFox Wrote:  Question for players on the wagon.

I recently moved to a new place with a couple bars walking distance that I'm going to try to get the bartenders locked down. How do you do this without ordering a drink? Tell some jokes an tip a twenty on a club soda with lime?

SiverFox,

For what it's worth, I'd recommend using your time on the wagon to hone your game in venues where drinking is not the main focus. The technique you suggest will work fine, and it's similar to the one I used back on my original wagon when I was single. If you go way back in this thread, you'll find suggestions for tweaking that technique. However -- looking back -- I wished I would have spent that time developing more of an overall sober approach to game, rather than just spitting lines over club soda and limes at the local shitty dive bar that I had locked down. I think you'd be better served with the former, if you're up for it.

Good luck.

Getting on this wagon for all of 2017, though I started today to get a slight head start. I traveled a bunch earlier this year and drank constantly, and have recently been drinking most days of the week (albeit like only a single beer). I feel like I need a detox so gonna give this a run.

Will post updates on how this all goes.

(12-29-2016 02:28 PM)Celestial Wrote:  Getting on this wagon for all of 2017, though I started today to get a slight head start. I traveled a bunch earlier this year and drank constantly, and have recently been drinking most days of the week (albeit like only a single beer). I feel like I need a detox so gonna give this a run.

Will post updates on how this all goes.

Celestial, just to be clear -- you are in for a full year, not one drink at any time for any reason, 24/7/365? And your start date is December 29, 2016?

LOZ, Tokyo Joe and other Wagoneers,

I'm back. Sign me up for 2017!

Everyone's reasons for doing the wagon are different. I successfully completed the wagon in 2014 and feel like I greatly benefited from it (search further back in this thread for my past logs). I've since enjoyed 2 years of casual drinking with some heavy spots here and there but nothing too drastic. That said, I've noticed some mild to moderate depressive spells the day after drinking and sometimes even on the same night. There have also been periods where I was in top momentum and a few days of heavy drinking reversed progress made in other areas (especially in work and fitness). Drinking is certainly not the only cause of this - no that would be making excuses, but it's a factor.

So why cut out alcohol for a year? Well I feel like I'm reaching a crunch point with regards to my future career and businesses. I've hit 31 (32 next year, yikes!) and have now been working for myself for over 2 years now. My income has improved but I need to do more. MUCH MORE! In short, I am going to hit it BIGLY next year.

Indeed, Donald J. Trump has shown what is possible when a man abstains from drinking. His victory this year has served as some inspiration. Sometimes, teetotalers are portrayed in a boring or negative light, but even Donald's detractors would surely agree that his life could not be further from that stereotype.

In 2017 I will:

- Get on top of my business game. Yes I'm sure this is doable while drinking for some, but I'm not taking any chances.
- Substantially increase my income (+50% minimum!).
- Put on some size in the gym (I'm a rarity in that alcohol actually makes me lose weight due to not eating the next day)

I will therefore relish my final drinks of 2016 tonight with the Bangkok RVF Crew (including wagon legend Beyond Borders!) and abstain from alcohol for one whole year.

Start date: January 1 2017.

Bushido, mah niggah!

Let me break with tradition and be the first to welcome you aboard the Wagon beginning on 2017年1月1日（日）. Well, technically, you are not quite on it just yet, but I have faith. Enjoy those last drinks tonight, for all they are worth.

As Michael Corleone would say, it was the smart move. You are fast approaching that age where most men -- all but the few genetic freaks -- really start to lose something by going to that well with any regularity. I am sure it will be a memorable and productive year for you. And yes, it will be so much easier and so much more enjoyable with DJT presiding over this first year.

***
Bushido already knows this very well, as he was there with me when I had my valedictory drinks, but I have been back on the Wagon since November 14, 2016. Moving forward into those broad sunlit uplands...

If any one else has been reading this thread and has been contemplating a Wagon, I daresay Monday, January 2nd, would be a fine day to have those last drinks before setting them all aside for a full year.

Happy New Year to all -- drunkards, Mormons, and everyone in between!

--TJ

Bushido, thank you for that post and welcome back aboard as of January 1, 2017. Enjoy the last drinks of 2016, and I look forward to hearing more from you on this thread as time goes on.

(12-31-2016 05:27 AM)Tokyo Joe Wrote:  Bushido already knows this very well, as he was there with me when I had my valedictory drinks, but I have been back on the Wagon since November 14, 2016. Moving forward into those broad sunlit uplands...

TJ, welcome back aboard as of November 14, 2016. I hope to be hearing more from you here over time.

Tonight at 9:30pm is one year. I'll make a post soon as to how drastically this wagon challenge has enhanced my life. I will be doing 3 years off drinking in total, so two more to go .

(12-31-2016 07:12 PM)musashi Wrote:  Tonight at 9:30pm is one year. I'll make a post soon as to how drastically this wagon challenge has enhanced my life. I will be doing 3 years off drinking in total, so two more to go .

musashi, congrats on completing the 1 year wagon and +1 rep point from me. I hope you take the time to reflect with satisfaction and even some pride on what you've accomplished. I look forward to reading your post about the first year and its effects.

Welcome back aboard for year 2 as of December 31, 2016 and I hope to hear more from you here as time goes on.

I read all of this thread last year - very motivational stuff. Unrelated to this thread, I managed a dry January and a went on to do 4 months alcohol free during the year.

This year im joining this great wagon for the whole year. The benefits of not drinking are substantial vs the tiny social lubrication and relaxation benefits of consumption.

Thanks OP, RVF for this motivation!

(01-02-2017 05:50 AM)Zoids Wrote:  I read all of this thread last year - very motivational stuff. Unrelated to this thread, I managed a dry January and a went on to do 4 months alcohol free during the year.

This year im joining this great wagon for the whole year. The benefits of not drinking are substantial vs the tiny social lubrication and relaxation benefits of consumption.

Thanks OP, RVF for this motivation!

Zoids, thank you for this post. Is January 1, 2017 your start date?

(01-02-2017 09:44 AM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Zoids, thank you for this post. Is January 1, 2017 your start date?

Yes

(01-02-2017 12:38 PM)Zoids Wrote:  

(01-02-2017 09:44 AM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Zoids, thank you for this post. Is January 1, 2017 your start date?

Yes

Thanks, and welcome aboard as of January 1, 2017. I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.

I'm doing a dry January. Last time I drank alcohol was one glass of wine on New Years eve. For me personally I can't see a full 12 months as being feasible however January most definitely is. I'm not much of a drinker anyway but I see that there are few occasions where it is a slight advantage to drink. My dad bought me a bottle of Blue Duck vodka in early December which I haven't even had any yet. Unopened. I did buy a bottle o Belvedere in late June 2016 and had no more than 100ML of the stuff so far. Definitely doing a dry January though.

I’ve started cycling liquor and beer stores lately driving out of my way because I’ve been embarrassed by how much I’ve been drinking and don’t want the clerks to know. I know it's ridiculous, but they definitely know what’s up when I roll in everyday looking like an anxious mess to grab a case of Yuengling or bottle of Jim Beam. I hate that. Today I bought some wine just to mix it up because I thought that’s what normal people would drink and I wouldn’t look like such a degenerate. I ended up back in the same store again later in the day buying a 12pack of Yuengling anyway.

On this latest beer run I snuck out the side door of my house to do it and when I came back my family was standing in the dark in the shadows and popped out of nowhere like I was on Chris Hansen’s to catch a predator or something to confront me.

For what it’s worth I’m going to try enjoy these last drinks tonight if I can, and my start date will be tomorrow, January 4 2017. It was supposed to be my new years resolution to quit, and I actually stopped drinking on December 30th because I didn’t want to start the New Year hung over, but sure enough I was watching football yesterday on the 2nd and ended up on a couple day binge.

In the last few years I think I have had hundreds of last times. It’s actually how I convince myself to drink mostly by hamstering away in my mind that this is going to be the last time so better make it a good one. Logically I know it’s insane and I am reminded of that quote by Einstein about doing the same thing over and over again everyday but expecting different results.

Anyway, I am being proactive this time and have scheduled a doctor’s appointment this week to hopefully discuss my lifelong dopamine issues and see what we can do about it. I’m hoping maybe some sort of temporary medical solution will help set me on the right track to succeed with my wagon while I rebuild my life. I have gotten sober before in the past but I have been quick to replace one vice with another, which works for a while, but what I’ve found is that all roads almost always lead back to alcohol.

Going to have to do this one full Mormon I think. Maybe a month or two on some sort of antidepressant or medication and then cut everything. In April I will begin a 2200 mile thru-hike of the Appalachian trail, which I envision as my long sober march to a better life. With this grand goal coming up in my future of completing the trail I know I can stay sober. I am ready. I am only 26 and if I continue living the way I’ve been living I will be lucky to even make 30. It is time. I will post again tomorrow to reaffirm my commitment to the wagon when I am 100% sober, but I'm putting this post out there tonight to help me prevent hamstering away a trip to the store in the morning for “one last day of drinking”. Thank you LOZ and other contributors. As I’ve thought about this many times over the last year I’ve read through almost everything here in this thread, which has ended up being much more of an inspiration than soberrecovery or any of the other sites out there related to this topic ever could be.

-WTF

WTF,

Thank you for this post. I will look for your post tomorrow to officially welcome you aboard as of January 4.

You are making the right decision, and yes, Full Mormon is the way to go. You will be best served letting go of all depressants and stimulants and really giving your body and brain a chance to heal.

Doing this will not be easy but it is absolutely within your power. You just have to remember that you made a serious decision which is necessary to save yourself from the grim death-in-life of real alcoholism; and that all you need to is simple: not have a drink, at any time, for any reason, for a full year. No exceptions, no excuses, no good reasons or even bad reasons. You've made a decision and now you'll stick to it.

************

Here are a couple of more tips to go along with your Full Mormon program:

First, you should get a light box and start using it as described in this thread:

https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-39799.html

Bright light therapy will be essential in allowing you to go off substances of all kinds and establish and maintain a regular and restorative sleeping schedule. Please get a light box as soon as possible and start using it as you get on the wagon.

Second, you can certainly go to a doctor and see what he or she has to say. I have some ideas for what you might suggest to the doctor which we can discuss by PM if you like. Feel free to message me at any time.

Good luck, and I will be looking for your post tomorrow.

Great honest post WTF, I too remember having to show up for a family dinner after a night of partying to 9am. I woke up to the setting sun and was already an hour late for the dinner, showed up reeking of booze and my dad just broke down in tears, it was pretty terrifying for me to see and was a great motivator. I was 24 or 25 at the time. I slipped up a couple times after that after staying sober for maybe 5 months each time. I guess I wanted to think that maybe I could moderate my drinking after proving I could stay sober but both times it ended up back to right where I had started. I am about 17 months clean now, this is what helped me in this current wagon ride I am on:

-Find something you can be passionate about. I devoted myself way harder at work and found a certain joy in my job. Now that I am dependable and useful, I have a lot more confidence in myself. Cooking was also a great outlet, so was skiing, fly fishing and golf. Whatever floats your boat.
-Work out! Eat clean, get your protein in and stick to a good workout plan. I remember going to the gym a year ago or so and couldn't do a single pull up. A good motivator -- I lost 25 lbs of beer belly to help lean me out and started lifting. Now I am finally making progress. Once you start seeing good gains it is addictive and you know that drinking won't help you at all with achieving a good body. See it as training for your epic hike this spring!
-Talk to people who know where you're coming from: for me I would hit AA meetings a lot in the first six months and still occasionally go, but I also started seeing an addiction shrink as well. Finding a good dude you can gel with will give you good ideas on how to deal with life's challenges sober. Ask your doctor for a list of counsellors who specialize in addiction. It's a little less emotionally taxing to just see one good counsellor instead of having to go to a goddamn AA meeting, I didn't mind because I was usually working in towns I didn't know anyone in so I didn't have that "fear" of running into someone I knew, so that's what made AA an easier pill to swallow for me to be honest. But I'm not endorsing it, I just am trying to emphasize that having someone to talk to who has been around the block before is a great resource to have when you are feeling like you are on an island. Even a post on this thread can do wonders, or just calling up a close family member.
-Sleep well and get lots of fresh air and sun
-Don't worry what your friends think -- at the end of the day they don't lay in bed at night thinking about how "weird" you are, they are too caught up in their own lives. This one takes a while to wrap your head around and I still get it (especially with girls on dates) but you get hardened by each experience of trash talk by people who are incredulous that you don't drink.
-And never forget-- that little voice in your head that is telling you to drink will ALWAYS shut up with time. Sometimes I would just go to bed at 8pm because I knew that tomorrow is another day.

Your mileage may vary obviously. You are making a great decision by going to your doctor. Make sure you are totally honest. Good luck man!

281 days into my challenge. Wasn't looking forward to the Christmas and New Year break as I thought I would be tempted. Went out with friends several times over the holiday period, along with family gatherings and surprised myself in that I really didn't miss it.

Fully confident that I will now make the year milestone. Considering making this permanent.

I'm a few days late this time but I'm happy to announce that i've completed my second year on the wagon on Dec. 26th...

On to the next year, number 3 has already begun...

Life is pretty stressful right now and I haven't had a lot of time for retrospection so this is going to be a short post. I'm going to sit down to write something longer soon I hope so I can share some more.

Take care guys and keep going, for me there is no way right now I'd go back to drinking.
Sometimes there are cravings of course, but thankfully they dissolve as promptly as they arrived.

Roll on

Thank you LOZ for the encouragement and your light box recommendation. I will certainly look into it and do some more research on bright light therapy.

Komatite, excellent suggestions that I'm sure will help me on my wagon. One of the things I look forward to the most is being able to maintain a much more regular gym schedule. Very hard to make any real progress when drinking massive amounts of empty calories everyday plus I'm too hungover to even go half the time.

As for hobbies I will be getting outdoors into nature as much as possible as wilderness has always had a very therapeutic and calming effect for me, especially combined with the physical activity aspect of it.

I have considered AA. I also know several people who are sober or recovering from various addictions so I might try to reach out to them if I need to as well.

I have accepted this is going to be very difficult, and even today already the craving to go grab a bottle is pretty intense, but I will get through it.

This post represents my official commitment to the 1 year drinking wagon as of January 4, 2017. No alcohol of any kind for 365 days, not even a sip.

(01-04-2017 09:14 AM)filio Wrote:  I'm a few days late this time but I'm happy to announce that i've completed my second year on the wagon on Dec. 26th...

On to the next year, number 3 has already begun...

Life is pretty stressful right now and I haven't had a lot of time for retrospection so this is going to be a short post. I'm going to sit down to write something longer soon I hope so I can share some more.

Take care guys and keep going, for me there is no way right now I'd go back to drinking.
Sometimes there are cravings of course, but thankfully they dissolve as promptly as they arrived.

Roll on

filio, that's great to hear.

I hope life gets a little less stressful for you and you have more time to reflect and post an update, but the truth is that sometimes one can just barrel along from year 2 to year 3 without even pausing to catch one's breath. At this point your course is set and you know what you have to do, and there may not be much to say except what you already said above. Although even for true veterans of the wagon there will be occasions -- which do not need to be at all frequent -- for renewed reflection and appreciation of all the obvious and subtle benefits that have accrued over the months, seasons, and years that one has stayed the course.

Welcome back aboard for year 3 as of December 26, 2016 and I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.

(01-04-2017 04:52 PM)WhatTheFuck Wrote:  Thank you LOZ for the encouragement and your light box recommendation. I will certainly look into it and do some more research on bright light therapy.

Komatite, excellent suggestions that I'm sure will help me on my wagon. One of the things I look forward to the most is being able to maintain a much more regular gym schedule. Very hard to make any real progress when drinking massive amounts of empty calories everyday plus I'm too hungover to even go half the time.

As for hobbies I will be getting outdoors into nature as much as possible as wilderness has always had a very therapeutic and calming effect for me, especially combined with the physical activity aspect of it.

I have considered AA. I also know several people who are sober or recovering from various addictions so I might try to reach out to them if I need to as well.

I have accepted this is going to be very difficult, and even today already the craving to go grab a bottle is pretty intense, but I will get through it.

This post represents my official commitment to the 1 year drinking wagon as of January 4, 2017. No alcohol of any kind for 365 days, not even a sip.

WTF, thank you and welcome aboard as of January 4, 2017. I hope to hear more from you on this thread over time.

A couple of thoughts:

For the first time, a friend gave some light hearted and ragging about my wagon over the break. It was kind of funny, after I quickly told him to fuck off about it (we are really close friends mind you) the conversation quickly turned to him asking me: Did something bad happen? Did you go to the hospital, is your health okay? He couldn’t understand that I had stopped drinking just for me. Pretty much everyone I haven’t seen in a while were supportive and didn’t make a big deal out of it. I had as much fun this Christmas as I did any other.
Also, I went to a bar after 10pm for the first time in months with some other friends and noticed how posters have said everyone looks “drunk” when you are sober. For me it was bit different than what I would describe as drunk, everyone had a non-human quality about them, almost robotic. I know that sounds weird, but it almost seems like dudes were walking like Pinocchio and looked at you with a stare like they are looking at something behind you. Again, I know they were all just drunk, it just never looked that way to me before.

The holidays are now over, I officially have 5 days more to complete my year. To be honest, I do not even consider the thought of the first drink, no fantasizing or daydreaming about drinking again. This is good and has helped me decide to continue and give up smoking next. TLOZ and NA, thanks for the advice and encouragement.

Indeed I am waiting for life to come at me TLOZ, I was getting tired of walking around an empty stadium by myself, but I do feel each week it gets better and better. I just finished MikeC’s Gorilla Mindset yesterday and decided that 2017 was going to be the year to get serious. I picked up a new Blendtec this morning, right now I am getting ready to put in an hour at the gym. Tonight I am going to start reading Easyway to quit smoking. I cannot recommend Allan Carr’s book for giving up the sauce enough. I know 2017 is going to be a great year.

Lastly, the other day I was going through some photos on my phone and came across one from just before I started the wagon on 1.10.16:



Ha! A good reminder that things don't always seem like they change much from day to day. But they will and do come BIGLY after a while.

Gentlemen, checking in today to announce that I have successfully completed a full year on the wagon without a single drip of alcohol.

For those who have followed this thread from the beginning maybe have noticed that I have previously tried and falled off the wagon a few times but this time I set my head straight and refused to let myself down again.

Thoughts:

Exactly one year ago I woke up in my place in Rio de Janeiro from a 20 day heavy binge during holiday and new year celebrations. I had completly forgot that I had promised to do a tv interview 30 min later. I showed up and looked like the biggest drunken scumbag gringo ever. I had to put my sunglasses on to look less awful.
The interviewer and the camera man looked on each other with surprise and must have thought that what the hell the cat have dragged in.

After the interview I looked myself in the mirror and felt ashamed of myself and at that moment I decided to never accept to see myself like that again. I had hit my personal rock bottom. (The interview was just the final blow of a cavalcade of drinking related problems)

The endless drinking and partying had stop. At that point the only thing and goal I had in my mind was to stay sober, everything else was of second priority.

During the first month everything felt dull and silent and almost like time stood still.
After that it felt a bit better but I was bored to death. I plowed through some deep snow and when I passed four months I started to feel pretty good, and I started to get momentum in life again when I started to focus on other areas than drinking and partying. When I hit the six month mark I didn't even think of drinking anymore since I was busy with other things. The summer was really good even though I had done a quite a lifestyle switch which activities didn't involve much alcohol.

The last six months has been a piece of cake. I welcomed the new year in a biting cold Kiev toasting with mineral water in my glass. Hah.

So 2016 was for me very non dramatic and low key and calm.
Got some bigger traveling plans settled up for 2017 so I can't wait to see what this year will have to offer.

At last I want to say that I also have the alcohol demons in my head showing me all kinds of romantic pictures of good old drinking days and memories, but I know they are all false. Sometimes I also think that what if I would start drinking again, only moderately (of course)?. But every time I get those thoughts I'm forcing me to think about myself in front of that mirror in Rio. Nope, not worth it. It's not worth the risk of ending up at rock bottom again.

Just my two cents.

So cheers everybody,I'm hereby jumping on my second year on the wagon.