Sobriety update

It's damn near impossible to fuck bishes I don't like while being sober! Bad for my dyck, but great for my soul I guess.

So I got to give a bit of an update and then I'll ask a question...

On August 30th, 2015, I committed to the wagon. I was in an Eastern European bar with some old college chums and realized how much I've changed as a person since then, and that I needed to take the extra step. Made it 6+ months without drinking but then I was at a destination wedding (Jamaica), with my best friend getting married, and with friends and fraternity brothers I hadn't seen in over a decade. I actually managed to not drink on the first night of arrival but my friend getting married actually begged me to drink, so I did for the rest of the week. When I arrived back in the US of A, I continued to drink for the next 9 months. Surprisingly not very much, maybe a couple of drinks two/three nights a week, and much less than what I was drinking before then. Anyhow, I decided that I want to be on the wagon for life, and as of New Years Even I haven't had a sip nor the desire to. My girl doesn't drink either and that really helps.

Revisiting the idea of me being a "changed man", the biggest thing that I'd say has helped guide me down the path of no drinking is that I've given myself good reasons not to drink, such as gym performance and my desire to learn new things (such as the stock market, which ironically probably drives some to start drinking). Most people don't have a good reason not to drink, hence why they do it. They live in comfort and rarely challenge themselves. So to summarize my inarticulate point, in my experience, it's imperative for one to have challenge in their lives in general, but particularly for those that are trying to avoid the pitfalls of drinking. Keep pushing forward gents. I applaud everyone that has made this life choice.

And for my question...I'm about 2 1/2 months in and I feel like my brain is quite foggy as of the last couple of weeks. Has this happened to anyone else on the wagon? Trying to pinpoint what's causing this, and it's the only thing I can think of (well, my job is dull too so perhaps that's what's happening).

(03-15-2017 11:07 PM)nek Wrote:  And for my question...I'm about 2 1/2 months in and I feel like my brain is quite foggy as of the last couple of weeks. Has this happened to anyone else on the wagon? Trying to pinpoint what's causing this, and it's the only thing I can think of (well, my job is dull too so perhaps that's what's happening).

That sounds about right. Both times I have started the wagon, there was immediate improvement in brain function but hit a feeling of relapse (fog, as you said) about 6-12 weeks in. After 2-3 weeks of the fog, then I would see dramatic changes by week 16 into the wagon, then slowly improving up to the 9 month mark. Never really got any perceptible cognitive gains past 9 months sober, other than having more productive memories to enable abstraction, synthesis, and growth.

I have a period of years from my heavy drinking days where my memory recall now from that time period is sketchy at best. The best way I can sum that up is not really learning or growing as a person during those times... just living in the glow of intoxication. My brain of course invented a rosier picture of what transpired during those years, but evidence suggests that to be a revisionist fiction.

I'm not going to drink.

But I want to.

Nobody would know. My family wouldn't know. Friends. Coworkers. Hell...you guys would never know.

It can be my little secret. Nobody would know.

But I would know.

I'm so happy I found this thread! I'm the same age as Roosh where last year after some major problems I was drinking and smoking everyday for about a month and I started to get very bad heartburn! I end up losing 10 kg in 2 months cause I couldn't eat and really do anything! If you want to get over heartburn, search the RVF forum where there is great information on it! Western doctors are a joke!!

Anyhow, I went to Thailand and it flair up bad again and once again around Xmas time but I was also getting these really bad pain down my right side and couldn't do anything for a week. It just happened again 3 weeks ago and i'm getting tests done now but I never have a problem unless I hit the piss hard. I think it's time to stop for at least a year and let my body recover. My dad said to give it a couple years cause I've been drinking/partying allot of my life. It's kind of sucks cause at 36, if I hit the piss hard I can't do really anything the next day or two.

I'm interesting in knowing how it will turn out but I have stop drinking for months before where life does get a little boring but I have to admit, I do feel so much better! Drinking at my age really kills my moods for many days or even up to a week sometimes. I do think it might be guilt as well cause I know the booze is killing me inside!

(12-02-2013 10:57 PM)Pyre Wrote:  

(12-02-2013 04:27 PM)Single Dad Swag Wrote:  Any time I try to go a night or two without alcohol to "prove to myself I can do it"… I toss and turn all night, wake up covered in sweat, heart races, and have the most freaky nightmares you can imagine. DTs maybe? I don't know, but yeah, I would probably need some serious in-patient care to pull some shit like this off.

Yeah, that's the withdrawal process. I get them for about 2 nights after a blackout binge. For you, shit that might last 5-7 days. You're best bet is to suffer em out, although in the past i've used xanax since i have no addictive craves for xanax.

When I gave up smoking, I couldn't sleep for days.... where I would end up smoking again due to lack of sleep. I end up going to my doctor and getting sleeping tablets. I've tried many but I find all the benzodiazepine can fuck with your head and do damage from doing some research. I notice my memory wasn't as good when I took Xanax to sleep from quiting smoking. Stilnox can make you trip out where I take Imovane which doesn't make you feel tried the next day. I also use it when I can't sleep cause when I gave up the booze, I can't sleep and my body goes hot and cold.

Good thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comment...ction_and/

Probably the best part about the gym for an alkie is that you can always salvage a shitty day with a good workout. Piling up small, daily victories is the best defence from that little voice in your head that tells you to drink...

Im on day 36 today. Im going for the year.

I have gone out maybe 4 times since and not drank. I can last around 2 hours before people start getting annoying.

Funny enough what has helped take my mind off it has been going off coffee 10 days in. Man that was an experience.

Ive been massively into self development for the last 5 years running game/daygame, travel, meditation, martial arts etc and recommendations from blogs and forums like this but alcohol always fucked my momentum. Even a few pints on a Friday and another on a Saturday messes with my head for 2 to 3 days after.

I think the messing of my head comes from ill try cut down and everything will go fine then ill go all out one night and beat myself up for the next week for not being able to control myself.

So my plan is to implement a new habit or two every month so im constantly in a state of challenge for the year and see how i improve.

Not sure if ill regularly update but im going to try and keep a diary of some sort at least.

Ed latimore has wrote a good piece on being alcohol free for the last two years. Its worth a read if anyones looking for inspiration or motivation.

1 year today! Actually one of the easiest things I have ever done, although was never a big drinker to start with.

I can count on my hands the number of times I have been tempted to drink and when I say tempted it has been a 5 second thought of a "beer would be nice now" for example a hot day or out with friends.

I've felt healthier not drinking and as a whole more productive.

I am going to make this change permanent. The positives for outweigh the negatives for me.

Thank to The Lizard of Oz for creating this thread and planting this idea as a seed and also thanks to the contributors to this thread for the inspiration to see it through.

(03-29-2017 06:13 AM)MrTickle Wrote:  1 year today! Actually one of the easiest things I have ever done, although was never a big drinker to start with.

I can count on my hands the number of times I have been tempted to drink and when I say tempted it has been a 5 second thought of a "beer would be nice now" for example a hot day or out with friends.

I've felt healthier not drinking and as a whole more productive.

I am going to make this change permanent. The positives for outweigh the negatives for me.

Thank to The Lizard of Oz for creating this thread and planting this idea as a seed and also thanks to the contributors to this thread for the inspiration to see it through.

MrTickle, congrats on the 1 year wagon. Well done and +1 rep point from me. Very happy to hear about the positive changes.

I know you say you are going to make this permanent, but "permanent" is a little vague and general; one year is something very real and concrete. If you would like to reup for year number 2, please say so and name the date and I will welcome you back aboard.

I'm in for 1 year as of today, April 2

I always see this Thread and think "No need for anything so drastic yet" but my efforts at drinking moderately have always failed. From writing the number of drinks I'm allowed on my finger, to alternating with water, to limiting what money I bring with me, it never works, if I have more than a couple drinks I'm getting blackout. And those blackouts are coming more and more often, been averaging a few times a week for the past 8 months and its starting to have a big negative effect on my life so its time to commit to this.

(04-02-2017 09:15 PM)QuietDog Wrote:  I'm in for 1 year as of today, April 2

I always see this Thread and think "No need for anything so drastic yet" but my efforts at drinking moderately have always failed. From writing the number of drinks I'm allowed on my finger, to alternating with water, to limiting what money I bring with me, it never works, if I have more than a couple drinks I'm getting blackout. And those blackouts are coming more and more often, been averaging a few times a week for the past 8 months and its starting to have a big negative effect on my life so its time to commit to this.

QuietDog, thank you for this brief and honest post and welcome aboard as of April 2, 2017. I hope to hear more from you on this thread as time goes on.

Just a quick note to state that I'm now more than 3 months into my second ever wagon.

I must say that, this time around, the wagon feels quite natural and smooth. Rarely thinking of alcohol these days and I turn down drinks without being bothered too much by social pressure.

Who knows the science behind what is happening, but I feel like my brain (and body) changed at some fundamental level. It's as if some subtle yet very noticeable mark was left during that first year off the booze. Of course, this easy, smooth feeling might give way to some less pleasant feelings in the future but I'm ready for them. Life is good.

Still drinking too much coffee. Maybe as a replacement of sorts. Going to cut down to 1 a day.

I've been sober now for 5 months - I decided to hop on the wagon in October, fell off for a month but got my act together again on November 4th.

I've noticed an big boost in terms of my mental well-being. I can't understand why alcohol was ever a problem for me (I don't want to discover why by trying it again). The newfound discipline goes way beyond just declining a drink.

I have lost 25 pounds of fat, am in the best shape of my life, freed from the guilt and shame of getting blitzed every week.

In terms of going out, socializing, attracting girls and so on - it's never been easier than that. I realized that I relied far too much on the drink.

The only people who are negative towards my lifestyle change are guys who drink far too much and who I shouldn't be talking to anyway. The girls rarely have anything bad to say and if they do, they aren't worthy of conversation.

It has been an eye-opening experience so far and I'm only seeing the positives.

This is my first post on the board, but I think it's a worthwhile one. I'm joining the one year wagon guys. Let it be a year achievement, growth, and whole lot less suffering.

(04-08-2017 01:33 PM)americathegreat1492 Wrote:  This is my first post on the board, but I think it's a worthwhile one. I'm joining the one year wagon guys. Let it be a year achievement, growth, and whole lot less suffering.

atg1492, thank you for this post. There have been a number of guys over time whose first post on the forum was in this thread, and it always gives me a great deal of satisfaction to see that. If you do what you've set out to do, you may have some difficult periods here and there but you will certainly have a whole lot less suffering and the growth and achievement will come as well if you're patient and persistent, but also relaxed and open to the world.

Welcome aboard as of April 8, 2017 and I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.

(08-20-2016 09:49 AM)Chunnel Wrote:  Lots of inspiration in this thread, and I appreciate everyone sharing stories that are personal and tough to share.

I never had a daily alcohol habit, or a craving that I had to satisfy. Rather I always had a tendency to binge way too hard whenever I did drink. There are too many times to count in which I skirted out of real dicey situations, and it was just a matter of time until luck wasn't on my side. Plus I can't recover nearly as fast as I used to, and the next 3-4 were shot after a hard Friday night.

Fast-forward to this April, the stars were aligned against me, and I had an extreme blackout night in which I made a fool of myself in front of new professional and academic colleagues. With a shitty unfulfilling job I was running from, I dug myself into a hole right off the bat in front of the peers I was running towards. I hardly ate the next week, exercised minimally, and fell into a crippling depressed state for the next month. I knew it was time for a change.

I swore off alcohol after that episode, and have felt much better since. My mood and confidence have improved significantly, I sleep better at night, I have made good progressions in the gym, and have a much more positive outlook on my future with a clear defined plan of where I want my life to go. I have no plans on taking a sip of alcohol again, but I am going to take each day in stride, so as not to establish a goal that seems insurmountable and meaningless.

Please count me in as of April 10, 2016. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories, being candid about their situations, and supporting individuals with similar problems; most a lot more severe than mine.

Finished my 1-year last week. Nothing deep or profound to report, save that I've grown a lot in the past year.

In the past year, the following have happened (may or may not be correlated to the wagon challenge)

-Improved self confidence
-Strong gym gains
-Day game improvement
-Quickly irritable in nightlife settings when going out with friends (for better or worse)

Haven't decided if I am going to sign on for another year, I'm still going on with sobriety, but will hold off on a signed commitment for now.

Having said that, it was a fantastic period of growth for me, a worthwhile experience, and I highly recommend anyone even considering stopping drinking to give it a go, you'll be better for it.

Chunnel, thank you for the post, and congrats on the 1 year. +1 rep point from me.

There is no need to say anything deep or profound on the occasion; the steady gains that you mention speak for themselves, and as they accumulate over time they add up to an entire life which takes on added pleasure and interest, and to which the greatest depths can accrue almost unnoticed at the moment.

I hope you just keep rolling, and if you do decide to sign up for another year -- something that you may well consider to in order to extend and consolidate all the gains made in year 1 -- please post about it here and I will welcome you back on board.

And my second year is complete. Two years. Two whole years without a drop. That's 730 days. Damn!.......damn.

My second year was much, much harder than the first. I almost blew it. I was so close to giving in. I had a bottle in my hand for several minutes. I thought about it a lot, but came dangerously close only once.

The first year was great. But then the boredom really started getting to me. I went on a pretty rapid downward spiral of depression that worsened my insomnia and also led to weight gain. That led to more depression which led to ENORMOUS weight gain and deeper depression and so on.

I'm gonna be nakedly honest here with you gentlemen...I miss being drunk. I miss it every single day. I feel like I've experienced NONE of the benefits everyone else is enjoying from their sobriety, save one: not dying a stupid early death due to being a dangerous drunken maniac with no self control.


Yeah....I guess that last point's pretty hard to argue with, huh.


....yeah. I'm on board for year three, as of April 20th, 2017.


LOZ, thank you again for starting this thread and keeping us all going, and thanks again to everyone for the continued support, especially during my meltdown last June. Stay tuned to see if I have one again this year!

etwsake, congrats on completing year 2. That is a real achievement -- for someone like yourself who needs it so badly, year 2 of the wagon is in many ways more important than year 1, and it's no surprise that it should be more difficult. I do think that you'll find year 3 a little easier than year 2 -- maybe only a little but that still makes a real difference. It won't necessarily be easy from here on in, but the very worst may be behind you.

One important thing for you to recognize is that in addition to avoiding what you rightly call a "stupid early death", you have also avoided something almost equally dreadful (or perhaps more so): the death-in-life of being a drunk, a disgusting state that coarsens and corrupts a man's body and spirit and makes him useless to himself and others. In truth, you should be thanking your lucky stars every day for this simple thing: that you are not living the life of a drunk, not scraping that filthy bottom of the human condition. All the rest will come -- it takes time and patience, and it will also take some thought -- thought that cannot really be forced but that is something a man turns to when every other avenue is exhausted, when the brain truly understands that it cannot have the oblivion it vengefully craves. That will happen to you if you stay the course -- and I think you will because you realize the alternative is so foul.

Welcome back aboard for year 3 as of April 20, 2017 and I look forward to hearing more from you on this thread as time goes on.

I'm still looking for the right words, thank you Lizard of Oz, your words are truly an inspiration.

I drove by an old after-hour place in my town last night and after waking up this morning I felt so alive and greatful for being able to get up without a hangover, do whatever I want to do, either being productive or not, but not having to live this old life any longer.

Sometimes the darkness comes. The human brain is a very curious thing. Sometimes it wants the oblivion and destruction back most of us in this thread have experienced first hand.

I drove by this place last night and thought about being in there, being drunk, not having a care in the world, being able to just get drunk and high and let the rest fade away. The thoughts passed quickly, afterwards this wonderful feeling came of not having to be like that any more.

I'm two + years sober, somewhere in the middle on my way to year three and just randomly wanted to express my gratitude for this thread and the people in it. You're awesome! Thank you for being such an inspiration!

Thank you for this post filio, it made me very happy.

Any advice on quiting drinking when you're in an EE country, like Poland?

I have a very difficult time limiting my alcohol here in Poland, even though I'd like to.

Every single social event/activity involves drinking. And it's hard to be around drunk people, especially Poles.

And not drinking when you're out is almost like admitting you're a rapist or pedophile.

In the US, this wasn't a problem, because everyone just smoked weed. We only drank when going out to bars/clubs. Any eastern europeans who can help?

(04-30-2017 02:08 PM)AFS Wrote:  Any advice on quiting drinking when you're in an EE country, like Poland?

I have a very difficult time limiting my alcohol here in Poland, even though I'd like to.

Every single social event/activity involves drinking. And it's hard to be around drunk people, especially Poles.

And not drinking when you're out is almost like admitting you're a rapist or pedophile.

In the US, this wasn't a problem, because everyone just smoked weed. We only drank when going out to bars/clubs. Any eastern europeans who can help?

There's plenty of great info in this thread about how to do it. Many recommend Allen Carrs 'Easy Way to Quit Drinking'. I prefer 'Jason Vales Kick the Drink'.

I've never been to Poland but I can say with 100% certainty that it's similar to many other places in the world that claim to have heavy drinkers and pride themselves on it, Germany, Australia, Mexico, US and any other country that allows alcohol. All these places and more have a lifestyle that promotes alcohol abuse. Just have to make a plan and commit to it, no matter what. Not a sip, not for a year, no matter what.

Year two is in the books. It was much easier than year one, by quite a bit. Several vacations to drinking spots and heavy drinking events without a problem. The only issue I have with not drinking at these places is putting up with complete drunken idiots. That however, is not a reason to drink. It would be like deciding to huff paint for a year to be able to run in the Special Olympics.

Committing to year two was a little bit of a challenge and was not immediately convinced that I wanted to because I knew once I committed then that was it. No option to drink. I even went to a bar, ordered a Guinness and a shot of Irish whisky and just looked at it and smelled it to convince myself that I would not do it.

Continuing into year three was not even given a second thought. Much, much easier to commit to . Year three officially began yesterday, May 3rd.

Side note. If I'm playing poker or talking to someone that has quit drinking and describes them self as a "recovering alcoholic" I really can't help but feel a twinge of pity for them like Carr described. I don't even tell those people that I don't drink. If I do the response is always the same, oh you quit without AA? You must not have been much of a drinker or had a problem. Umm no, as LOZ says I went too deep in the well for too long, decades. Tried to quit many times and the rest of the story that many others share. I just can't imagine being that scared and tempted to start again the way people in AA are. I'm glad they don't drink anymore but they have made staying sober a full time job.

Enough rambling. LOZ thanks for starting this thread and all the work you have put into it. I'm still not giving up my coffee though!