Relapsed

Been on the no fap wagon since the beginning of August and still going strong. The first 2 weeks were mostly smooth ride with no hiccups but in the last few days I’ve been feeling the struggle. Today I had hit an especially difficult roadblock. While I was reading I started getting hit with this huge wave of horniness. I’ve felt this same sensation the other times I’ve attempted no fap, particularly around the 2 week mark but the intensity of what came over me was especially strong and potent to the point where the effect wasn’t just mental but also physical. I felt this strange energy pulsating and burning through out my entire body; the best way I could describe what this energy felt like was a duller version of icy hot. It pretty much ruined my concentration so I went for a quick walk around the block. I felt like a drunkard while walking,; the force that was inside me was so overwhelming both mentally and physically that I had to consciously keep my balance and tell myself to walk in a straight line.

I got back and immediately started praying to God. My prayer was that I knew my own will and strength wasn’t sufficient as proved by the many times I’ve tried to overcome similar situations with my own power and failed and that I needed His strength in order to resist. I had a small Bible containing just the New Testament plus Proverbs and Psalms which I opened and started reading. While doing all of this I was at the height of my horniness and it felt like I would succumb but gradually I managed to throw off what was afflicting me. What at first was my urges dragging me off to where it wanted to go turned into a tug of war and then eventually the feelings completely subsided.

The main point I want to emphasize with this is that if you are on the wagon you need to realize that during the times where temptations are strongest is that these feelings will leave eventually. I think lots of people give up because they figure the urges will last until they get release so that they might as well just give in but it’s just plain out not true. If you resist eventually there will be relief. If you drop two guys off in a desert and tell one that a helicopter will come in 3 hours to pick him up and don’t tell anything to the other guy who do you think is more likely to just give up and lay down and die? A lot of guys that fail I bet probably have the mentality of the latter rather then of the guy who knows that help will come if he waits.

(08-19-2017 12:56 AM)Wutang Wrote:  Been on the no fap wagon since the beginning of August and still going strong. The first 2 weeks were mostly smooth ride with no hiccups but in the last few days I’ve been feeling the struggle. Today I had hit an especially difficult roadblock. While I was reading I started getting hit with this huge wave of horniness. I’ve felt this same sensation the other times I’ve attempted no fap, particularly around the 2 week mark but the intensity of what came over me was especially strong and potent to the point where the effect wasn’t just mental but also physical. I felt this strange energy pulsating and burning through out my entire body; the best way I could describe what this energy felt like was a duller version of icy hot. It pretty much ruined my concentration so I went for a quick walk around the block. I felt like a drunkard while walking,; the force that was inside me was so overwhelming both mentally and physically that I had to consciously keep my balance and tell myself to walk in a straight line.

I got back and immediately started praying to God. My prayer was that I knew my own will and strength wasn’t sufficient as proved by the many times I’ve tried to overcome similar situations with my own power and failed and that I needed His strength in order to resist. I had a small Bible containing just the New Testament plus Proverbs and Psalms which I opened and started reading. While doing all of this I was at the height of my horniness and it felt like I would succumb but gradually I managed to throw off what was afflicting me. What at first was my urges dragging me off to where it wanted to go turned into a tug of war and then eventually the feelings completely subsided.

The main point I want to emphasize with this is that if you are on the wagon you need to realize that during the times where temptations are strongest is that these feelings will leave eventually. I think lots of people give up because they figure the urges will last until they get release so that they might as well just give in but it’s just plain out not true. If you resist eventually there will be relief. If you drop two guys off in a desert and tell one that a helicopter will come in 3 hours to pick him up and don’t tell anything to the other guy who do you think is more likely to just give up and lay down and die? A lot of guys that fail I bet probably have the mentality of the latter rather then of the guy who knows that help will come if he waits.

Through my other bouts of NoFap I was hit HARD with those same feelings at about the two week point.

However I found that personally, I NEED some sort of energy spending activity during the day in order to sublimate that sexual energy into a usable source of energy. One of my jobs is really labor intensive. Carrying heavy shit a lot up and down stairs, working in no AC, etc. I find that this is the best relief to the horniness and urges. When I'm not at that job for a full day I make sure to go to the gym and lift some heavy ass weight. That way I just get rid of some of my energy. It may be placebo effect but thats just how it works for me.

My mind is brought to a concept that Zan Perrion wrote about in his book The Alabaster Girl. He talks about how it is important to "Show up as a man" in at least one aspect of life everyday. You approach a girl and she rejects you, I walk away smiling. Because I showed up as a man and I asked her to show up as a women. I did my part she didn't do hers. Just like lifting. Its hard work, and after I sweat my ass off in a hot sauna and freeze my ass off in a cold shower, same thing. I showed up as a man, using masculine energy to further develop my masculinity and do what mens primary primal function is; pick up and put down heavy shit.

Turn everything that you don't want to do into a positive attribute to get you where you want to be in life and you will never fail. I like to use the moniker "showed up as a man" for its wide use of range. There is motivation behind the phrase too.

Same thing goes for NoFap. You resisted the urge to give into your own body, therefore strengthening your mind even further. You most certainly showed up as a man that day.

Relapsed. Got myself trapped in a loop of lustful thoughts about next weekend, which I'm about to spend with a girl after 1 month of not seeing her. I got extremely horny and decided that watching some hoes on instagram wouldn't be that much of a deal. Welp. Here I am. Aiming for 1 week.

Cut out porn for at least a couple years now, after a friend spoke to me about his ED (even when he had a really hot gf, he needed porn to get it up).

Just broke my nofap streak of about 2 weeks last night and feel guilty as fuck.

One thing I've noticed since I started nofap is that I have less control over my orgasm than I did. I am still on board with the nofap train but am interested to hear other's experiences.

Do you do kegels? Should I start to edge?

It's tough to edge because most of the time I just bust my nut and then feel guilty afterwards.

^ no, don't edge, don't do Kegels. Just fuck women. If you bust early, no big deal, she'll want round two. Or three. Or four. Or twelve.

Keep at it lad.

(08-19-2017 02:19 PM)RustyShackleford Wrote:  Cut out porn for at least a couple years now, after a friend spoke to me about his ED (even when he had a really hot gf, he needed porn to get it up).

Just broke my nofap streak of about 2 weeks last night and feel guilty as fuck.

One thing I've noticed since I started nofap is that I have less control over my orgasm than I did. I am still on board with the nofap train but am interested to hear other's experiences.

Do you do kegels? Should I start to edge?

It's tough to edge because most of the time I just bust my nut and then feel guilty afterwards.

"Babe, you just turned me on so much something came over me. I'll be down for round two in a few minutes."

Make her wait patiently (or better yet have her make you a sandwich in the mean time(for recovery purposes)) until you get back on the horse again. It's a win win, your helping set frame with her by making her wait, and your turning her on even more by you not being able to control yourself when you're fucking her.

(08-16-2017 07:00 AM)Geomann180 Wrote:  Went 7 days without looking at porn and then 9 days with nofap.

Had sex yesterday and noticed that I could feel way more, and came without having to finish myself off, for the first time in 3 years. .

Just wanted to highlight this post.

How many men are secretly having the same issue, where they can't finish without jerking themselves off? Desensitization

Or, how many guys can't fuck in condoms because their boner can't contain strength?

These issues are widely underreported because men don't want to admit failure in their willy.

The first step to fixing a problem, is admitting you have a problem, and I'm glad you're on board Geomann.

Now go enjoy busting in some girls mouth. It's a beautiful thing.

One of the key understandings I've got from having multiple set-backs is that most of them come when I'm bored. Currently the following things have helped me to easily reach to the 14 day mark, something that would be tougher in the past:

1. Buying a PS4 and playing a game of FIFA when I'm bored, instead of watching porn.

2. Going out and smoking a ciggerate when real boredom sets in (I do realise smoking is not good but I'm a light smoker and have been so for almost a decade but its just that previously I never used them as a replacement for porn).

3. Buying a lock-box timer which I use to place my laptop charger in on the night I'm drinking as alcohol was almost a sure-shot trigger for me to relapse as all inhibitions just went away.

Why no kegels?? Just starting my nop/nof journey, day 5. Back 5 or so yeqrs ago I use to do kegels all the time and the hardness of my erections was out of this world, even while desensitized from porn.



Posted by YoungBlade - Yesterday 02:25 PM
^ no, don't edge, don't do Kegels. Just fuck women. If you bust early, no big deal, she'll want round two. Or three. Or four. Or twelve.

One important thing to note is that under 30, you make sperm every day.

After 30, you make sperm every (3) days. Fuck accordingly and keep tabs of this "cycle". Abusing sex is not the best idea for your prostate.

No fap challenge is easier to follow when you have regular sex. I don't think abstaining from it is going to make you enlightened. Everything in moderation. I built my business online this way. I'd need a fast relief and then I'm back to the grind again. Just don't let it hinder you from meeting girls in real life.

Speaking from my own experience, wasting sperm on pixels is the only real negative associated with pr0n.

Nothing succeeds like success.. Yesterday, while casually browsing Facebook, I happened to come across a fitness model's photoshoot and even though she was covered fully, I got such a rock hard erection that just wouldn't go away no matter what I did...Don't remember the last time this happened without having to resort to porn..It just felt so awesome, as if something in my body has been healed and made me feel really powerful.

It also makes me realise that we should not feel too disappointed about relapses because let's say you relapse after a 20 day streak, somewhere your brain neural pathways did get stronger. I'm starting to see this as a game of averages. Multiple relapses also mean that on an average, you healed much more that what wold be the case if you never tried noporn at all.

And as years go by, this cumulative effect will start to show its positive effects. I started all this in july 2015 and since then must have relapsed more than 50 times, but ironically, I'm more confident of maintaining my current streak than ever before because I'm learning mroe about myself and can see the benefits.

So my advice would be to show a strong will but don't consider relapses as the absolute end. Instead see them as an end to a positive recovery phase, all of which is adding slowly to the result you desire. It takes the negative pressure off you and keeps the morale high.

Lost it on Day 25.

The moment I broke I felt all my energy leave and started to get a lot of negative thoughts. Shit, it's like opening Pandora's Box.

Getting back on this asap.

(08-25-2017 07:34 AM)Sanguine Wrote:  Lost it on Day 25.

The moment I broke I felt all my energy leave and started to get a lot of negative thoughts. Shit, it's like opening Pandora's Box.

Getting back on this asap.

Welcome brother. Keep that feeling in your memory for when you feel the urge again.

I broke my NoFap streak (to memories) and also looked at porn for around two minutes two weeks ago. I then had trouble staying hard for my 21YO girl. Coincidence? I think not.

Stay strong gents.

Didn-t remember this was so difficult, 1 week in or so. Today is being hard, but the gym was a walk on the park, I killed that deadlift. Anyhow, I will have sex soon, so that is a relief.

Successfully finished my no fap in August pledge. It's September 2 as I write this and I have no intention of stopping. Since I've had that huge attack that I described in my previous post on this thread I haven't had any big scares. The temptation is still there but much more easier to manage now that I know that I am able to resist the big temptations (with help from above). No flatlines or anything either. The last few days I've been reading more about flatlining since with the streak I'm on right now I'm currently in uncharted territory (my last personal best was about 3 weeks) and I'm wonder when the flatline will kick in,.

The cliché question will come up again, even while in No Porn Tho, how often really should you fap? No girl at the moment and that is ticking me off. If I spend a week without fapping I go nuts. Sure, I should just try to get girls again but cumming in 1 minute as opposed to 30-40-50-1hr as I said before is embarassing.

Went about 3 months clean. Now I'm a couple months back into watching most nights again. I noticed many benefits when I quit. Had more confidence, great self-esteem and a private feeling that I was superior because I had no dark secret anymore, something I knew many men around me would have.

Finding it hard to quit again.

(09-02-2017 12:13 PM)LEMONed IScream Wrote:  The cliché question will come up again, even while in No Porn Tho, how often really should you fap? No girl at the moment and that is ticking me off. If I spend a week without fapping I go nuts. Sure, I should just try to get girls again but cumming in 1 minute as opposed to 30-40-50-1hr as I said before is embarassing.

Why do you care?

(09-03-2017 06:17 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

(09-02-2017 12:13 PM)LEMONed IScream Wrote:  The cliché question will come up again, even while in No Porn Tho, how often really should you fap? No girl at the moment and that is ticking me off. If I spend a week without fapping I go nuts. Sure, I should just try to get girls again but cumming in 1 minute as opposed to 30-40-50-1hr as I said before is embarassing.

Why do you care?

Guys give this way too much thought.

Go slow during round 1, embrace the moment. Stop thrusting if you're about to bust. I often last 5-10min.

In my experience, if the foreplay was good enough, most women will have climaxed at least once by then.

If you are worried, give a good laugh and say: "Wow, that was fast. You are so sexy I couldn't hold back. Give me a few and I'll be ready again", and give them a kiss.

Another thing to take into account is your refractory period will likely shorten with Nofap. It used to take me about 40min to be on for round 2; with Nofap, I was rock hard in 20min.

Plus, sex just feels better.

Day 2 again after a relapse. I'm finding that there are several instances of what causes a relapse in my particular case. I'm posting them below so that hopefully others can be aware of what might cause you to relapse as well.

1. Facebook. Too many attractive female friends who post pics of their skimpy outfits. Huge temptation to download and fap to those images, given that you know these girls in real life.

Solution: I deleted all images of them that are skimpy from my phone, and spend a lot less time on facebook these days. Most of the time it is just nonsense.

2. Not having a regular sleep/work schedule increases the chance of relapse.

I set my own hours, which is a bad thing at times when you go to bed late. The later I stay awake, the more likely I am tempted to watch porn. Sometimes you just want a release before you go to bed, but watching electronic screens with simulated sex isn't what our bodies were designed for.

Solution: I set alarms that repeat on my phone each evening to get off the computer by an earlier time, several hours before bedtime. I increase my reading time or other quiet activities to settle the mind down.

3. I workout regularly and feel less temptation to watch porn because exercise pumps you up, and fapping takes your mental and physical strength away.

Solution: Make exercise a priority, set a schedule and stick to it.

4. Keep a daily journal. Document your number of days of nofap, as it can be encouraging to see that number grow instead of just posting in this thread when you've relapsed.

If you have any other ideas for longevity of nofap, I'm all ears.

I relapsed after day 38. It was from sheer boredom. My PC broke down so I couldn't work on my business, it's a fucking holiday so nobody is willing to get together, and I already went to the gym. Shit sucks. The afterglow was great, as it was the only orgasm I had in the 38 days. But still, sucks afterward. I'm looking forward to the new challenge though.

I've found that my workout routine of 4x/wk weight training has helped to empty most of my sexual energy. Doused with a hot sauna and a cold shower it really takes the edge off.

I do wonder if relapsing will have an effect on my work drive and strength in the gym. I will write an update and let y'all know.

Here's to another 2 months fap free. Play on gents!

(09-04-2017 02:33 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  Day 2 again after a relapse. I'm finding that there are several instances of what causes a relapse in my particular case. I'm posting them below so that hopefully others can be aware of what might cause you to relapse as well.

1. Facebook. Too many attractive female friends who post pics of their skimpy outfits. Huge temptation to download and fap to those images, given that you know these girls in real life.

Solution: I deleted all images of them that are skimpy from my phone, and spend a lot less time on facebook these days. Most of the time it is just nonsense.

2. Not having a regular sleep/work schedule increases the chance of relapse.

I set my own hours, which is a bad thing at times when you go to bed late. The later I stay awake, the more likely I am tempted to watch porn. Sometimes you just want a release before you go to bed, but watching electronic screens with simulated sex isn't what our bodies were designed for.

Solution: I set alarms that repeat on my phone each evening to get off the computer by an earlier time, several hours before bedtime. I increase my reading time or other quiet activities to settle the mind down.

3. I workout regularly and feel less temptation to watch porn because exercise pumps you up, and fapping takes your mental and physical strength away.

Solution: Make exercise a priority, set a schedule and stick to it.

4. Keep a daily journal. Document your number of days of nofap, as it can be encouraging to see that number grow instead of just posting in this thread when you've relapsed.

If you have any other ideas for longevity of nofap, I'm all ears.

Good suggestions. I got rid of facebook 5 years ago, so that's not an issue for me. The rest are habits that I practice and endorse as well.

A few more:

- Try to avoid spending a lot of time online, particularly when you're alone and/or bored.

This is probably tough for most guys on here since most of us likely live alone and spend a lot of time online. Still, addictions thrive in secrecy and watching porn is a lot less convenient when you're surrounded by other people. In fact, it might be best to limit internet time in general outside of work/business. This is something I struggle with mightily, but I find it much easier to abstain from PMO when I'm away from the computer and engaged in the world around me.

- If the last one isn't possible, then at least consider installing a porn blocker.

I know opinions vary wildly on this. Some say that a porn blocker is a crutch and you need to develop enough willpower to get by without one. Others say that it's imperative to limit access to the drug. After all, you wouldn't keep a pack of cigarettes in front of you all day if you're trying to quit smoking. Both approaches have their merits, and I've tried both extensively. Currently I'm using K9 as a deterrent. It's not foolproof and it can be removed if you're a little tech savvy/motivated, but it does help prevent you from constantly seeing things that might trigger a relapse.

- Avoid other behaviors that often contribute to relapsing.

Drinking, drugs, eating shitty food, etc...a lack of willpower when it comes to stuff like this makes it very easy to indulge in porn as well. I don't do drugs and my diet is on point for the most part, but I do tend to struggle with porn urges a lot more when I drink. Dramatically reducing my alcohol intake helps me stay focused, and it's a lot harder for me to justify relapsing when I'm sober. Not to mention all the other benefits that come with limiting alcohol consumption.

- It's been beaten to death already, but actively chasing pussy is far more rewarding than jerking off to pixels.

Personally, it's much easier to abstain from porn when I'm pursuing girls IRL. Fuck pussies, not your hand. And if you must fuck your hand due to lack of access to pussy, then do so without the aid of porn.

- Meditate.

This is another habit I've struggled to cultivate, but whenever I've had my best no PMO streaks I was also meditating regularly. It's like weight training for your mind. It will be much easier to let PMO urges pass (and they will pass) when you're used to detaching from fleeting thoughts.

- Pray.

This one won't be for everyone and that's ok, so disregard if you're not into it. But if you believe in a higher power then there's no shame in asking for help and trying to deepen your spiritual strength to help you in this battle (and in life in general). Prayer is a very personal thing, so I won't expand on this now, but if anyone is interested in some good prayers that are applicable to this problem let me know and I'll post a few.

(09-04-2017 02:02 PM)Ringo Wrote:  

(09-03-2017 06:17 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

(09-02-2017 12:13 PM)LEMONed IScream Wrote:  The cliché question will come up again, even while in No Porn Tho, how often really should you fap? No girl at the moment and that is ticking me off. If I spend a week without fapping I go nuts. Sure, I should just try to get girls again but cumming in 1 minute as opposed to 30-40-50-1hr as I said before is embarassing.

Why do you care?

Guys give this way too much thought.

Go slow during round 1, embrace the moment. Stop thrusting if you're about to bust. I often last 5-10min.

In my experience, if the foreplay was good enough, most women will have climaxed at least once by then.

If you are worried, give a good laugh and say: "Wow, that was fast. You are so sexy I couldn't hold back. Give me a few and I'll be ready again", and give them a kiss.

Another thing to take into account is your refractory period will likely shorten with Nofap. It used to take me about 40min to be on for round 2; with Nofap, I was rock hard in 20min.

Plus, sex just feels better.

Bingo.

You could also try this new thing called "telling the fucking truth."

"Yeah I don't jack off, so I come really fast if I haven't had sex in a while. We can keep going though."

Fix a drink
Keep your clothes off
Rub her back
Eat her pussy
and wait for your cock to bounce back.

Sex doesn't end when you cum.

(09-04-2017 03:54 PM)redbeard Wrote:  Bingo.

You could also try this new thing called "telling the fucking truth."

"Yeah I don't jack off, so I come really fast if I haven't had sex in a while. We can keep going though."

Fix a drink
Keep your clothes off
Rub her back
Eat her pussy
and wait for your cock to bounce back.

Sex doesn't end when you cum.

Personally I don't like telling them I don't jack off.

I've straight up told a girl about it once but it brought up a subject I didn't want to discuss with her: "So if you don't masturbate, when was the last time you came?", which quickly lead to "Who did you have sex with? When was it?".

It's not like I'm lying about it - if they ask, I'll tell them. I just don't volunteer the information.