(02-13-2017 11:57 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote: Forgot when I said this, but the topic was basically if a chick has been cruel to you, does she ever get her comeuppance?
Is there a further on up the road for her?
"Someone's gonna hurt you like you hurt me"
"You been laughing pretty baby, someday you're gonna be crying"
Technically it happens - but true justice would be connecting punishment to crime.
And that never happens. The person who wronged you never connects their current pain with what they inflicted on you.
WIA
Actually, I've seen this happen, albeit only once.
In her youth, my mother was an attractive woman - she was in the national beauty pageant circuit, got hit on by one of Bob Marley's right hand men (Marley and his crew loved to troll around her campus back then), and generally got a lot of male attention. As an older woman now, she's really only just realizing just how extensive that attention was. As she's come to that realization and relayed her stories to me in our discussions, she mentioned the many decent men she turned down.
She was notoriously picky as a young woman, and there were many victims. One in particular stood out, however. This guy (let's call him Richard) was from the same town and beloved by my grandfather. My grandfather was highly religious and guarded his daughters like a hawk, chasing young men away at the gate on a regular basis. But Richard was always welcome. He was different. He had ambitions of being a pastor like my Grandfather, and was just a genuinely decent, kind guy. He took a liking to my mother quickly.
My mother knew what Richard was. She couldn't deny that he would, frankly, have been a near ideal husband for her. But she just couldn't warm to him, no matter how decent he was or how well he would have fit into the family. He just didn't have "it". She pretty cruelly strung him along for years before callously dropping him, and relayed to me what he eventually said after she finally ended the torture: "You're going to get what's coming to you. Somebody is going to hurt you."
According to my mother, his actual statement was right on those lines - precisely the kind of "future comeuppance" line WIA is quoting here. They didn't really speak again for a very long time after that, though they're Facebook friends now and all seems to have blown over (at least for the most part).
In the years that followed, my mother finally met the only man on the planet who seemed capable of meeting her exacting standards, married him, and had me. Of course, she paid the price for getting with the classic, highly in-demand alpha male: competition. There was another woman, and divorce followed before I was even born.
Since then, my mother has become the classic "alpha widow". She has even said the following directly to me in conversation: "I've just never found another man quite like your father." There have been relationships since and a couple lasted a while, but she's never gotten over that and built anything really solid.
The big thing she relays to me, though, is how her decisions have led her to where she is. This is where she keeps bringing up Richard, how she treated him, and what he said to her. He was right - she got what was coming to her, and she was hurt permanently (rendered an alpha widow by my father) and she's suffered emotionally since. Her pickiness and callous dismissal of so many decent men ultimately led her to near nothingness. She has me, but since her marriage she's talked about the relative loneliness and how much more connected she'd have been to family and friends if she'd maybe given Richard a real chance. She talks about having always wanted to be married with a larger family, and how that might have been possible with Richard. She talks about seeing him now on Facebook (looking good for his age and still married to a wife with a few kids, as opposed to her divorced with just one), connecting his face to all that she did to him and all that's happened since, and wondering what could have been if she'd just listened to her father and not dismissed this decent guy.
She genuinely did connect her current pain to Richard and the way she treated him. He said she'd get what was coming to her in the form of hurt, and she did. She flatly admitted that perhaps what she got with my father and the alpha-widowdom since was comeuppance for how cruelly she stringed Richard along and then dismissed him in the end for less decent men.
Sometimes, I even wonder if my own struggles with women throughout my life haven't had anything to do with some sort of cosmic justice/karma for my mother's cruelty as a young, beautiful woman. She dismissed a lot of good men not just out of pickiness, but also class (she was an elite in the country at the time and went to an elite school while socializing in elite social circles - these people had and, to some extent, still do have a tendency to thumb their noses at the vast swaths of less fortunate folk who make up the bulk of the nation's populace and they're not always polite or cordial about it). She was one of the affluent, pretty queen-bees that so many decent guys aspired to get but could, in most cases, only expect a cold, callous rejection. She was "too good" for them (either because they were too beta, not popular enough, from a poorer part of town, or all of the above) and she acted like it. So did her friend group. Richard was just the most notable of these victims and the one that stood out in her head the most as probably the best fit and most deserving among them. She still treated him like shit.
I look like my father, but am not the playboy he was - perhaps it is because of how/where I was raised, but he was more prolific than I've been so far (maybe I'll catch up, but who knows - either way, I'm a late bloomer at best). I've been more like Richard so far in my life, and I've noticed something - many of the stories of how she dismissed those men reminded me of what I went through with a couple of the women I've pursued in my life.
Perhaps comic justice sought to give my mother a son as an only child and have him endure Richard-esque struggles as a youth just to help her understand and really get a feel for what she did and how it impacted the men she did it to (and this goes right down to the rejections callously and coldly dished out due to class/lower income - that was college for me. There, I became the poor upwardly mobile kid my mother and her rich friends used to blow off, just in a different country/context). If that's the case and this was just cosmic justice trying to get its karmic revenge message across, it worked - the stories I've told her over the years have definitely helped her reflect and I think that she may not have come to the conclusions she's reached without having spent years hearing about my struggles and being forced to see herself in the women I was approaching and guys like Richard in her son who was approaching them. I've run this theory by my mother and she doesn't deny the karmic plausibility of it all.
Regardless of how it happened, the end result is that Richard (though he doesn't know it) got his "comeuppance". My mother remembers him all these years later and how her experience with him stands out both in how good he was to/for her and how unkind she was to him in the end. He said she'd hurt for the way she acted, and she has indeed endured a lot of pain since then. In talking with me, she openly connects this pain to him to this day.
So for all of the cruelly wronged men out there, buck up - you never know how much karmic justice certain women who were cruel to you in the past may be feeling and connecting to their treatment of you right now or down the road. I myself could become a "Richard" for a couple of women I've interacted with, though they probably would never tell me. It happens.