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(04-14-2016 11:46 PM)Sourcecode Wrote: The white boys peak into the thread and are amazed. Most of the brothers here have had the knowledge passed down a long time ago.
Great
(04-14-2016 09:14 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote: These posts too heavy!
Let's get back to the fun!
I been on my DuoLingo for the past 2 months, prepping for this trip to Latin America.
Still haven't bought the ticket - but here is what I'm thinking
1) 3 weeks in 3 cities in Colombia
2) 3/3 in Mexico
3) DR, Mexico City, Bogota
I'm outgoing enough in ingles, but Espanol? Ay Caramba.
WIA

(04-14-2016 11:46 PM)Sourcecode Wrote: The white boys peak into the thread and are amazed. Most of the brothers here have had the knowledge passed down a long time ago.
Great post though.
(04-13-2016 12:40 PM)SuS Wrote: I think a part of it has to do with being forced to grow up in the Thug Worship Era of the late 90s and entire 2000s. Those images are something that will be burned in my memories and has turned me off to almost all derivatives of modern day black culture.
(04-14-2016 09:14 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote: I been on my DuoLingo for the past 2 months, prepping for this trip to Latin America.
Still haven't bought the ticket - but here is what I'm thinking
1) 3 weeks in 3 cities in Colombia
2) 3/3 in Mexico
3) DR, Mexico City, Bogota
I'm outgoing enough in ingles, but Espanol? Ay Caramba.
WIA
(04-15-2016 09:10 AM)rudebwoy Wrote: 262 - Mystery, Neil Strauss and the rest of them, made "game" a mainstream term and bought it to the masses.
Like Source said, this is nothing new for black guys.
Moma and I discussed this in our first show, alot of black guys grow up with nothing. They use their charm and lyrics to get with the ladies.
(04-14-2016 06:02 AM)Excelsior Wrote:(04-13-2016 02:56 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:(04-13-2016 12:27 PM)Moma Wrote: 262- there is no magic bullet. You have to compromise certain things to get the other. Most of the regions listed EE, SEA are nice for lizards because they are poor. Let me modify the location, location rant with this: Region, region, region!
People don't like to admit this is the reason for alot of things.
Despite many people across the globe hating Americans, being an American is a big plus and many of these foreign chicks would sell their mother's for a chance to visit or live in America.
Being a black American is even a bigger draw, you are the epitome of cool. Due to my accent, most people assumed I was American in my travels. Needing "game" in EE involves showing up in clean clothes and smelling nice. Christ, I wore dirty converse shoes in a night club in Croatia and got IOI's from hot chicks.
Racism exists in every country, do not be fooled and think it does not just because you did not experience it.
Where we fall short as black men, is getting our money right. Everyone understand the power of money, they can hate me all they want but they will respect me.
One of the biggest shortcomings I see in discussions regarding game is the failure to recognize just how big of a role money can play. Your wealth is the most powerful weapon in your arsenal. The older I've gotten and the more I've seen of the real world, the closer I've come to the "Money>Game" perspective. I'm not quite there (game is very important), but money is an incredible tool that one must leverage at every opportunity. Success in this regard (either via accumulating a lot of wealth here or leveraging your western income/status in a place that is much less affluent) can alleviate a lot of the problems we complain about here in the states.
(04-15-2016 11:26 AM)Chowder Head Wrote: This "feelings" thing to game women gets me friendzoned instantly. I do better being aloof. I wish I could work a woman's emotions better. Maybe I'd have a more loving/loyal relationship with them.
(04-15-2016 09:14 AM)Chowder Head Wrote: I have a question for WIA and the gang... When getting into a woman's head/emotions, aren't you more likely slipping into the friendzone?
(04-13-2016 01:44 PM)azulsombra Wrote:I tend to diversify it with my style. While I'm in a suit and tie during work hours, the closest style that I would fit into during my free time is a dudebro/surfer/MMA image. Despite the branching of style black men have endeavored, my style isn't one of them. White that was a deathnail back East, my style is more embraced in the Western US.(04-13-2016 12:40 PM)SuS Wrote:(04-13-2016 05:46 AM)Excelsior Wrote:I've come to the conclusion that outside a few places West of the Mississippi River, America is the most hostile to non-stereotypical black men. America, and more importantly, "Da Blak Communitah" has chosen the stereotypical thug and dopeboy as the paragon of Black Men. As for me, I consider that the ultimate betrayal to the point that I feel no connection to my so-called race and so-called country. Especially since I was from a "black mecca" where the people could easily set the trend to embrace non-stereotypical black men, but treated those kind of men worse than any white supremacist ever could.(04-07-2016 05:08 PM)DimeBait Wrote: Personally, having married and had children by someone outside my race, now divorced, I basically learned my lesson. Though everyone's experience is different, my second time around, I would choose to settle down with someone that shared similar cultural experiences as me.
A couple of other guys in this thread have already said this so I won't belabor the point, but it is essential to note that for some guys, the people with the most cultural similarity/fit are not always going to be people that look like them.
The key, as others have said, is to find someone who meshes well with you.
As a black male, I find it particularly important to consider two things:
1. People who look like you may not always be the best fit, especially if you are a non-stereotypical black male living in a place like the USA. As I've noted in earlier posts, deviating too far from the expectation black women have of masculinity can leave you in a difficult position when it comes to maintaining relationships with them. If you're in this situation, you need to avoid subscribing to the "black queen"/"keep it black" logic that will often be forced on you. Find your best fit, whatever she looks like.
2. White women are not a panacea and shouldn't be treated as such. Even as a non-stereotypical black male who struggles connecting with black females in a place like the USA, you may find that many white girls come from backgrounds that are no more conducive to a healthy relationship with someone like you. DimeBait did a good job of outlining a situation in which that is the case (though his girl was hispanic) and illustrating the challenges that come with it.
I see a lot of non-stereotypical black men who feel like outsiders in black America respond by putting white women on a pedestal. The white girl is the answer to all of their romantic problems, a lifeline in a turbulent ocean they've navigated so far that has been filled with obstacles stemming from their non-stereotypical ways and disconnect with black culture. They give white girls slack when they don't necessarily deserve it and big them up when it is unnecessary. They effectively turn into simps round white girls, and we all know where that path takes you.
Personally, I know I've got an issue. I'm not nearly black enough for black American women and I have a very tough time connecting with them on a deeper level. We simply tend to live on different wavelengths, largely due to the way I was brought up. I'm just different - too far away from the norm of black masculinity to be consistently attractive to them at this point in my life.
How do I respond to this? Most black men in my position date out, and I'm not gonna be an exception. But I'm also not going to thirst after every non-black woman who appears as though she's some kind of lifeline in a stormy sea. While I might have better odds of positive interaction than I would with a standard black American woman (read: better odds of building rapport, more to talk about, etc), there are still serious challenges that I cannot be blinded too simply because I'm an outsider in black America and I want a "lifeline" to counter the rejection. There are no panaceas. I know that while I'm not black enough for the black women, I'm probably still too black for a lot of non-black women and (more importantly for someone considering a serious relationship with marriage, children, etc) FAR too black for many of their families. No man can afford to ignore these challenges if they want a serious relationship.
TL;DR: Find someone on a wavelength that is similar to yours that will allow you to connect. Don't assume that someone looks just like you, but don't go to the other extreme and assume that person must have some other phenotype (ex: pedestalizing white women as the all-encompassing, definitive "answer" to all problems of the non-stereotypical black male who struggles with black women). Keep an open mind.
At this point, working to GTFO America would be the fullproof solution, even if it's just Canada. And seeing the migrant crisis and Europe and the resulting rise in anti-minority sentiment, Canada seems to be one of the best options right now. However, as a non-stereotypical black man who moved from the East Coast to the Western US, I will admit that there is a notable decline in racism and hatred for non-ghetto black men. But I'm afraid that due to current events, the resilient ghetto subculture, and precarious environment in America, I can see a time in the foreseeable future when black Americans specifically will be treated like Jews in Nazi Germany. And unlike back then, the provocateurs will have a boatload of "justifiable" reasons to "take their country back".
@azulsombra From my observations, the rigid standards of black men haven't really changed. It's just got more lenient for dopeboys and thugs to be homothugs and swagfags, but the core image is still the same: act like an anti-intelligent, ebonics-speaking, rap video dressing, stereotypical goon. Now I will admit that there are your Kendrick Lamar, Pharrell, and Common types who can be masculine and stylish without looking and acting like complete stereotypes that didn't have dads in their lives. But the urban-lite masculinity image has never been my personal style neither. I think a part of it has to do with being forced to grow up in the Thug Worship Era of the late 90s and entire 2000s. Those images are something that will be burned in my memories and has turned me off to almost all derivatives of modern day black culture. And for anyone who says "get over your childhood", my response to you is "get over Jim Crow and Slavery", aka shit you never experienced.
(04-13-2016 10:56 AM)rhodey Wrote: Another option could be finding a non stereotypical black women, they are out there.They are out there...and most of them are dating white and other non-black men from the get-go.
I feel what you are saying...it sounds like we are basically from the same era and the same part of the country. Yes, the dumb ass goon culture still exists and is too common but it is largely AA women, yes even college types, that seek out that culture. This is one of the main reason I typically limit contact with AA women. Non-black women (doesn't just mean white), seem to embrace alternatives to hood brothas more in my experience, especially if they project success or potential success.
Im glad that you did admit that their are now acceptable alternatives to the ratchet culture that women find attractive, Kendricks, Common, Yeezy,types etc. It may not seem like a lot of progress but it was much worse before and definitely better out West. Not to make this about you in particular but you said you can't embrace the mature slightly urban still of someone like Common. Im curious to what your style is? Is it very business like, high quality suits and such?