Hey brotha, we all got our niche's, time constraints destroys any chance of day approaching, I don't club.

So I diversify with dating apps online, that's my niche.

I still warm myself up socially and talk to randoms, recently moved gym locations and saw other locals from the old one, I'd strike up convos, give nods, feel confident.

Talked to a few girls about gym equipment. Obviously I'd love to game girls on the street of course.

I'm really hoping it's just a normal downward blip but these last few days Tinder has been absolute crap. I'm getting matches but most of my openers are going unanswered or they simply quit after one back and forth. I've done Tinder since 2013 so I know flakes and deadbeats go with the territory but this is the worst I've ever seen.

Every time in the past I could always count on a few decent prospects but wow, this is in the toilet...

Recently I have been struggling with something that hasn't been an issue before. I find drawn out text conversations to be really boring. Especially with Dutch girls, here where I am living. Like Gio stated earlier, I am more of a personable guy. I like the energy of being in the moment, talking to someone in person, etc... Usually after I match with a girl on Tinder, I chat for a little and throw out the idea for a date. If she says yes, I ask for her number. This actually works decently well for me. Then I send an initial whatsapp text, set up a time and place, and then wait until the date to text a quick confirmation. Lately, I haven't done much texting back and forth once we transitioned from Tinder.

I think this has been my downfall. I think that my approach has been almost too direct and aggressive. I had one girl tell me she didn't like that I had asked her to coffee/drinks a few times without texting her much to get to know her. Am I crazy? Isn't coffee/drinks how we get to know each other?

Prevailing wisdom on here as been conflicted on whether to text or not to text before dates. I have definitely texted myself out of a date plenty of times. Now it seems I am not texting enough to get to the date.

How have you guys been dealing with this?

I always said, Tinder was prime time a few years ago, since then it's been in the decline.

Yeah you'll get a decent few, the rest are shit, I find myself having a nice block of cuties to swipe, then the rest are all lefts.

More and more am I swiping left. I hope another app comes along and destroys this one.

(02-24-2016 05:42 PM)Fury Wrote:  Recently I have been struggling with something that hasn't been an issue before. I find drawn out text conversations to be really boring. Especially with Dutch girls, here where I am living. Like Gio stated earlier, I am more of a personable guy. I like the energy of being in the moment, talking to someone in person, etc... Usually after I match with a girl on Tinder, I chat for a little and throw out the idea for a date. If she says yes, I ask for her number. This actually works decently well for me. Then I send an initial whatsapp text, set up a time and place, and then wait until the date to text a quick confirmation. Lately, I haven't done much texting back and forth once we transitioned from Tinder.

I think this has been my downfall. I think that my approach has been almost too direct and aggressive. I had one girl tell me she didn't like that I had asked her to coffee/drinks a few times without texting her much to get to know her. Am I crazy? Isn't coffee/drinks how we get to know each other?

Prevailing wisdom on here as been conflicted on whether to text or not to text before dates. I have definitely texted myself out of a date plenty of times. Now it seems I am not texting enough to get to the date.

How have you guys been dealing with this?

Same thing. Though last summer that method worked pretty good. I'm new to Tinder as in the first time I used it was june 2015 and girls were much more receptive. As winter came closer and took over, I noticed a real decline in their acceptance of me being agressive. I'm thinking, with spring and eventually summer knocking at the door, they'll loosen up and things will be easier.

Just a theory ofcourse. But I'm really the 'winter depression' kind of guy and summer makes me a lot more energetic and outgoing, I can image a lot of girls have the same 'issue'.

I think girls don't really want to go on dates which they might not enjoy. She only got a couple of texts from you and saw your photos. How she will invest time and energy to go to see you and she might be disappointed. I would recommend, if you don't feel like texting, to make a phone call. I do this a lot, preferably with video but sometimes just voice. It's a good way to screen for girls who you would actually enjoy spending time with. If you can't have a decent, funny, interesting conversation over the phone then you can problaby can't in real life either.

Some girls don't date a lot so going on a date is a big thing. And to go on a date she needs take time away from something else, her friends, family, the tv or swiping on tinder.

For me though, my game changes when I match with a girl who I have a genuine interest in. I actually do want to know her, preferably in real life. Then that extra investment for me to get her comfortable to go to see me isn't such a big deal.

Girls who I'm only a bit interested in, who doesn't want to meet up immidetly but wants to chat/text a lot, those girls I usually lose interest in.

Whats the best way to get across that "im here to fuck".

I mean I dont want to waste my time with girls that are only looking for their "other half", I am back in NY for a bit and just want to get some bangs while here, I guess you gotta have a balance, overtly saying you are dtf probably wont help unless its some super slut.

I want to match, get the number, meet and bang, fuck all that extra shit.

Right now my profile is pretty basic, one pic of me, and in my description It just says im from NY, I get a few matches but I dont want to put in the effort of talking a bunch of shit.

Perhaps I am being unrealistic in that sense?

(02-25-2016 03:13 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  Whats the best way to get across that "im here to fuck".

I mean I dont want to waste my time with girls that are only looking for their "other half", I am back in NY for a bit and just want to get some bangs while here, I guess you gotta have a balance, overtly saying you are dtf probably wont help unless its some super slut.

I want to match, get the number, meet and bang, fuck all that extra shit.

Right now my profile is pretty basic, one pic of me, and in my description It just says im from NY, I get a few matches but I dont want to put in the effort of talking a bunch of shit.

Perhaps I am being unrealistic in that sense?

"Just got out of a long term relationship, looking to meet people and have fun"

Thanks will put that up now, I have someone who is a photographer so Im gonna put up a few good pics and after that its all about the convo and gettin that number asap.

I dont know if that qoute did the trick but today alone I gotta like 6 matches and 2 super likes, maybe I got lucky lol

How do you guys respond when a girl refuses to give you her number/whatsapp? Just next or?
It happens sometimes that a girl can be replying enthusiastically then when I go for the number they say something like "I prefer tinder for now" or "I need to talk more with you here before I give you that".

I have a feeling I should just unmatch them after that as I've never had a date with a girl who said something like this.

(02-24-2016 05:42 PM)Fury Wrote:  Recently I have been struggling with something that hasn't been an issue before. I find drawn out text conversations to be really boring. Especially with Dutch girls, here where I am living. Like Gio stated earlier, I am more of a personable guy. I like the energy of being in the moment, talking to someone in person, etc... Usually after I match with a girl on Tinder, I chat for a little and throw out the idea for a date. If she says yes, I ask for her number. This actually works decently well for me. Then I send an initial whatsapp text, set up a time and place, and then wait until the date to text a quick confirmation. Lately, I haven't done much texting back and forth once we transitioned from Tinder.

I think this has been my downfall. I think that my approach has been almost too direct and aggressive. I had one girl tell me she didn't like that I had asked her to coffee/drinks a few times without texting her much to get to know her. Am I crazy? Isn't coffee/drinks how we get to know each other?

Prevailing wisdom on here as been conflicted on whether to text or not to text before dates. I have definitely texted myself out of a date plenty of times. Now it seems I am not texting enough to get to the date.

How have you guys been dealing with this?

I have been off Tinder a while but I used to get around this by calling sometimes. Say you are cooking or something so you will just call fast instead of texting. Spend about 5 minutes on the phone and run some game. Time talking on the phone is huge for building comfort.

A half way version of this is spending voice messages using FB chat or whatsapp. Just quick 15 second sound bites.

Had another date on this last night.

Japanese girl, really quite short. Maybe a 6.5 or so.I thought fuck it I don't have time for this and already banged three girls this week so will tell her to come to the local area then walk with her to my place (it's fucking freezing outside).

She seemed fine and potentially into me. She wouldn't come in to my place regardless of what I told her and she said she doesn't drink alcohol (said so before the date). So I thought it was pointless to drink coffee in some coffee shop like a man with no balls so I told her this isn't going to work goodbye. This was within 15 minutes of seeing her.

She's on Tinder what is she expecting.

Then I went to the gym and actually did something productive.

^^
That's f up Vincent. sorry to hear that.

Tinder is just really bad at the moment and it's just not worth it. But, it's important to keep all avenues open.

I recommend trying other app. Obviously as a back up of day game, night game, etc...

I have been using Tinder, POF and OKC here in New York, these are the results.

Tinder I get matches but not as many as the others, many many "artsy" and hippie chicks, many college girls and many descriptions stating their degree and life plans. Not feeling the matches too much.

POF, getting a ton of black girl matches for some reason and a TON of matches in general 100+ in like a week's use, girls seem more slutty on here and take action first, many of then are not attractive as well.

OKC, seems like a nice balance of races and attractive to non attractive ratio, seems like many girls on here have set up their profiles to get serious, listing all their likes, dislikes etc.

Overall not too impressed by any in particular, if one seems better than the other its OKC for me, all of them have their attention whores but it seems like they have different purposes, Im pretty sure I can get some sure bangs on POF right now but I wouldnt be proud lol

(02-26-2016 02:28 PM)Vincent Chase Wrote:  Had another date on this last night.

Japanese girl, really quite short. Maybe a 6.5 or so.I thought fuck it I don't have time for this and already banged three girls this week so will tell her to come to the local area then walk with her to my place (it's fucking freezing outside).

She seemed fine and potentially into me. She wouldn't come in to my place regardless of what I told her and she said she doesn't drink alcohol (said so before the date). So I thought it was pointless to drink coffee in some coffee shop like a man with no balls so I told her this isn't going to work goodbye. This was within 15 minutes of seeing her.

She's on Tinder what is she expecting.

Then I went to the gym and actually did something productive.

Fuck it man, she doesn't wanna play, send her home with her ball.

I met a girl who hardly matched her description and left, I bailed on girls last minute because I had better shit to do and left after 1 drink because a girl was weird or wasn't feeling it.

Team No Time Rapers

Polish chicks... I love to play lost in translation.

@Snowplow

It was the same for me when I was in the north burbs. But whenever I was in the Loop/River North I got like 3-4 decent matches per day.

Tinder isn't quite as dead is my city as some would have you believe. I created a second account using photos of a male model (with his consent) who'd be a 9 objectively. I enteered a rather cocky caption too.
I've gotten 8 matches by the morning after -- 12ish hours in -- around the 7-9 range. 2 of them have initiated the conversation.

In comparison, I've had no matches on my real account after restarting it 3 days ago. This is on Tinder plus. For both accounts, I've been just as picky; a bit more so on the fake account, given that it's on the standard Tinder.

I know I'm reiterating what everyone here knows, but it also shows how raw looks or at least photogenicity (maybe even not so much the latter) overrides the content of your photos. The exceptions may be of you with an instrument or a dog. I've got tons of FB photos of myself in interesting contexts, but they've barely gotten me the success as this one.

On the other hand, I'm not sure if being an objective "9" is all that's needed to seal the deal. 7 matches isn't that much out of the swipes I've gone through (used up my swipe limit yesterday, got only 1 match out of all these). Adjusting for the fact that girls do go for their niches -- dreadlocks, musicians, etc -- it looks like this might be the profile I'm netting quality over quantity with.

I can hardly pass off as this guy (unless the girls are extremely stupid), so how should I proceed with these matches? Should I not arrange to outright meet up, I could find out where they hang out/what they get up to and approach them afresh, but apart from that?

(02-27-2016 06:08 PM)JWLZG Wrote:  so how should I proceed with these matches? Should I not arrange to outright meet up, I could find out where they hang out/what they get up to and approach them afresh, but apart from that?

Get them to have pizza delivered to your house/apartment.

This question may have been answered before but there are 200 pages of Tinder and I really can't go through all of these. A search on the internet also returned nothing substantial.

Tinder plus cost 9.99 a month if I get the 12 month subscription plan. 10 bucks isnt too much to pay per month considering I travel quite abit. My question however is that do they charge 9.99 every month or do they charge you up front the entire year's worth of fees? Charging me a hundred over bucks up front is an issue because this is afterall just an app but if its 9.99 per month for the course of 1 year, I would be more willing to get the service. Thanks!

Quick story, tinder match, conversation, girl asks if I have snapchat

Not just a request by her for pics, we both send, been going on with intermittent chat

Tried to get her free over new years, didn't work out (drunk visit), now the claim is possibly this weekend

Basically the question is, are there a portion of snapchatters (girls) that solely exist to get continued attention even though they send nudes, but never actually want to meet even though they say they do

I'm 50-50 on this with my gut feeling

Tinder's been sucking for me lately so I'm giving it a rest until I finish my cut and get some new pics.

Are there any good restart messages for dead-in-the-water Tinder matches? Thinking about doing some restarts once I do the above.

(03-02-2016 01:43 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:  Quick story, tinder match, conversation, girl asks if I have snapchat

Not just a request by her for pics, we both send, been going on with intermittent chat

Tried to get her free over new years, didn't work out (drunk visit), now the claim is possibly this weekend

Basically the question is, are there a portion of snapchatters (girls) that solely exist to get continued attention even though they send nudes, but never actually want to meet even though they say they do

I'm 50-50 on this with my gut feeling

Of course there are.

This is another form of creating orbiters. Girls that do this are creating an imaginary fantasy with you. They'll send you pictures (nude and nonnude) to keep you playing their game. A meet up is suggested, but it never happens.

I have a few girls that do this with me. Ones sends me nudes weekly while on her story she posts pictures with her boyfriend. She may be trying to use me as a backup or she likes doing it because it makes her feel like a slut. Who knows, maybe I'll figure it out soon.

If a girl gives you her snap or IG instead of her number she's using you for attention. The interaction will rarely go beyond online.

(03-02-2016 01:43 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:  Quick story, tinder match, conversation, girl asks if I have snapchat

Not just a request by her for pics, we both send, been going on with intermittent chat

Tried to get her free over new years, didn't work out (drunk visit), now the claim is possibly this weekend

Basically the question is, are there a portion of snapchatters (girls) that solely exist to get continued attention even though they send nudes, but never actually want to meet even though they say they do

I'm 50-50 on this with my gut feeling

Why aren't you getting her phone number ?

I never ever get a girls snap, kik, or whatever bullshit they pull.

You just might be another dude in her peanut gallery.

I wouldn't take her serious at all.