Post: #176

(10-29-2016 06:56 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:What do you want? Bang 8s after 20 years whitout sex?

No, but I think the girl should at least be a six.

What makes you think that?

Post: #177

Because below that you're just having sex for the sake of having sex. You're not actually attracted to the girl.

Post: #178

(10-29-2016 07:09 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  Because below that you're just having sex for the sake of having sex. You're not actually attracted to the girl.

If you weren't attracted to her -- why did you ask her out?

Post: #179

Quote:If you weren't attracted to her -- why did you ask her out?

I was trying an experiment with "lowering my standards". Maybe I was temporarily more horny than usual from working out, or maybe I just wanted to know if my intuition that she was interested was correct. I also hoped she would improve in the dim lighting of a bar, but alas, no.

Post: #180

(10-29-2016 08:50 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:If you weren't attracted to her -- why did you ask her out?

I was trying an experiment with "lowering my standards". Maybe I was temporarily more horny than usual from working out, or maybe I just wanted to know if my intuition that she was interested was correct. I also hoped she would improve in the dim lighting of a bar, but alas, no.

I am no expert in sexology at all...but I thought you simply had no sexual desire, because in my thought if you did have it, you would be climbing walls and banging every hole available.

Sorry for the question, of course you are not obliged to answer, but how many times do you masturbate per day? And how much porn do you consume?

Post: #181

Quote:but how many times do you masturbate per day? And how much porn do you consume?

I allow myself 1-2x per week, and I don't look at porn anymore (haven't for years) other than basic pictures of women on 4chan /s (But I don't jerk off to those pictures.)

Post: #182

(10-28-2016 06:52 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  a blue-pilled approach to dating

I'm curious about your religious upbringing..?

I'm curious about your parents..?

I'm curious about your childhood..?

Care to share any details about these things and how they may have effected this situation??

(10-28-2016 03:33 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Well I think I got myself out of seeing this girl.

Congratulations.

A girl liked you and you turned her down.

You were not attracted to her, so, I don't blame you..

Maybe, you could have been "activity partners" with her?

Maybe, you could have used her for conversational practice?

Maybe, you could have just hung out with her as friends?

Consider these options as opportunities to practice...

But, that said, if you're not attracted to her, I don't blame you for "nexting" her..

She just lost 100 pounds. I would have rejected her also.

(10-28-2016 08:41 PM)Gyro Wrote:  I suspect he's self-sabotaging because he's afraid of change, intimacy, sex,

No doubt, change can be scary and difficult.

I'm sure there is some fear regarding sex.

I'm sure there is an element of "self sabotage".

(10-28-2016 09:12 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:Honest question: does she 100% fail the boner test, or are you trolling/soft rejecting her because you know she wants to bang you and you're scared to have sex?

Interesting question. I'd say it's probably 95% the first and 5% the second.

Interesting answer...

I'm glad you admitted that being scared of sex part of the reason why you rejected this girl.

For a man in your position, there is no shame in being scared of sex.

Face that fear with courage.

(10-28-2016 10:34 PM)TripleG Wrote:  I bet there are more guys on these forums who have these issues than are willing to admit.

Absolutely.

Sexual frustration, depression, lack of joy, lack of passion, etc.

These are deadly serious issues facing modern man.

In the 1st world, no longer is food, shelter, and safety our biggest concern.

Adjusting psychologically to the demands of modern life is sometimes the trickiest part of our "easy" lives..

It ain't easy out there. We all need a little help sometimes.

(10-28-2016 11:16 PM)Huey Wrote:  Have you considered seeing a therapist, Rex? Specifically one who specializes in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)?

Yeah, seriously Rex!

These are deep rooted issues that often require professional help!

Consider seeing a real therapist.

(10-29-2016 05:50 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  I don't think I would want to visit a prostitute as I'm not comfortable with that sort of thing.

Fair enough.

It was just an idea.

*****

Rex,

Just keep moving forward, one day at a time.

*****

Now, I'm going to go offer some amateur, online therapy to RunsWithScissor's

Post: #183

(10-29-2016 05:50 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  If I'm going to go through with the effort and risk of having sex I'd like it to be with a girl I'm reasonably attracted to.

Can you please explain yourself concerning what you see as the RISK of having sex?

Post: #184

While I'm not perfect at maximizing my time and don't like to tell another man what he should do with his, but judging by your post history you seem overly engrossed in trivial news/politics and it could very well be robbing you of valuable time, attention and focus.

Real talk. You haven't had sex in 20 years, and yet you're pondering and musing on about an Italian Constitutional Referendum? I really can't figure out why you should be giving a fuck about this when there are clear need areas elsewhere in your life.

Regardless of what others will say from that section of the forum, the truth of the matter is that the majority (if not all) of these news/political items are a zero value add toward helping you achieve your personal short/intermediate-term goals.

Opportunity costs are real and they come in different forms, so I'd take better stock of where and with whom you are giving your attention and time as it relates to your goals.

I'd make that a priority along with the numerous other great self improvement recommendations posted here. Square one starts with you and as perfectly stated here:

(10-28-2016 12:00 PM)Rocha Wrote:  This is the first day of the rest of your life!

Post: #185

This entire thread is making me come to terms with aspects of my own complacency.

Post: #186

Rex, have you spoken to Gio (phone/video) yet?

Post: #187

Quote:You haven't had sex in 20 years, and yet you're pondering and musing on about an Italian Constitutional Referendum?

Ouch. I think that's called a severe case of INTP

Post: #188

Quote:Can you please explain yourself concerning what you see as the RISK of having sex?

Well, you have STDs and pregnancy for starters.

Post: #189

(10-29-2016 06:40 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:Can you please explain yourself concerning what you see as the RISK of having sex?

Well, you have STDs and pregnancy for starters.

Post: #190

Rex, I'm not sure if you are trolling or serious. If you are serious you have to decide yourself to make changes, take risks, and face your fears.

I'm off this thread until I see Rex working to change instead of complaining/making excuses.


This is the most shocking thread I've ever seen on this forum.

Post: #191

(10-29-2016 07:17 PM)CamelToe Wrote:  Rex, I'm not sure if you are trolling or serious. If you are serious you have to decide yourself to make changes, take risks, and face your fears.

I'm off this thread until I see Rex working to change instead of complaining/making excuses.


This is the most shocking thread I've ever seen on this forum.

I don't think Rex is trolling or screwing around, but I've never seen anything remotely close to this on the forum or anywhere. The guy who got nothing after 3,000 approaches and who I've met in real life and is completely normal was doing perfectly fine the last time we heard from him. The only thing I can even suggest (pretty much every possible suggestion has already been made in this thread) is for Rex to meet some respected forum members and for them to try to figure out what is going on here.

Post: #192

(10-29-2016 07:27 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  I don't think Rex is trolling or screwing around, but I've never seen anything remotely close to this on the forum or anywhere. The guy who got nothing after 3,000 approaches and who I've met in real life and is completely normal was doing perfectly fine the last time we heard from him. The only thing I can even suggest (pretty much every possible suggestion has already been made in this thread) is for Rex to meet some respected forum members and for them to try to figure out what is going on here.

I have.

Guy I know is mid 30s and a virgin, or at least still is as far as I can tell.

I introduced him to The Rational Male, Roosh, Roissy, all that. He's been looking for a virgin bride, saving it for marriage, for all of his 30 something years.

He's not bad looking. He can carry a conversation, although he has his awkward, geeky moments. But he is a master of self sabotage.

Would meet a new girl, get a number. Get to talking to her.

"I was talking to her, and then I told her that I was a virgin"



He would mention that he likes a girl, and how he was going to message her on facebook instead of getting her number.

Then he'd have her out on a date, and from talking to the girls will start trying to spit "I read rational male so I can describe to you how I'm better than you young lady" game. They're disgusted by it.

Or he'd start using game terminology in public in front of mixed company. Just ill-calibrated without much social awareness.

It drove me nuts.

I had to stop hanging out with him because he was his own worst enemy and I couldn't stand the constant defeatist attitude he had adopted. He couldn't handle being around couples because inevitably he crushed on the girl and was jealous of the attention that the couple got.

I wish him well, but there's only so much a man can take without being able to help a failing situation.

Post: #193

To be honest, I think there are at least a few politics-focused posters like Rex. It's a side-effect of the forum going more political.

So don't worry Rex, you're probably not alone. But at least you're reaching out.

Unfortunately, some of these other politics-focused posters will never realize this: that politics for them is actually their way of avoiding the hard work of self-improvement.

Post: #194

Before reading this thread, I knew there were a lot of guys who hadn't had sex in twenty years, but I thought they were all called "husbands."

Post: #195

Quote:The only thing I can even suggest (pretty much every possible suggestion has already been made in this thread) is for Rex to meet some respected forum members and for them to try to figure out what is going on here.

Met up with Gorgiass last night in Boston and we had some beers. Gave me some good tips, too.

Post: #196

One suggestion nobody mentioned yet was merely visiting some bars with lots of young college girls in tight skimpy clothes. Even if you don't bang, I think just seeing that might boost T levels a bit.

I'm feeling optimistic today.

Post: #197

I've been following this closely and am glad to hear you met up with another forum member. Sharing experiences here on the forum is good but nothing like in person connections. Keep that optimistic feeling going and capitalize on it while you've got it!

Post: #198

Rex made a real effort to meet up and I do believe he's committed to making a change. Normal, nice, laid back guy (perhaps a bit too nice for dealing with the average American girl). Decent looking, could drop some weight as he's said but nothing that would be an immediate DQ for midrange women. Could pass for mid, even early 30s no problem. As has been said by him and others, he needs to rewire the belief system/improve inner game, and reevaluate priorities to make pussy higher on the list, which I think he's doing as evidenced by this thread. Will continue to meet up as schedules allow and between us all he will be rolling in pussy soon enough.

Biggest potential for change we discussed is logistics - ideally moving from a rural area/exburbs to a city or close to one where interactions with women are more plentiful, or at least setting aside some time when in the nearest city to go out and meet them, and capitalizing on online game in the meantime.

I approached a few sets, couple FSU students on the street hooked and we ran some game. Sticking points - one I'm sure we've all had to work through was needing to be more playful, fluff talk-y, and getting the girl to laugh and banter early in the interaction, as well as recognizing when she's playing, as opposed to jumping into more serious topics like written language. Keeping the interaction fun (especially early) makes the difference between getting a date or bang and just having a friendly conversation when you do interact with a women. Subcommunications telegraphed a bit of outcome investment but nothing that regular approaching couldn't fix. Sent him some resources for these but maybe others can chime in on their methodology.

Encouraged him to bang the girl as a slump buster, she doesn't sound that bad really from our discussion, and as Gio was saying there's nothing like getting laid to reignite the thirst for pussy and get a fire in your belly. Challenge as a nice guy who's just learning the skills is to avoid getting locked down by a subpar woman just to avoid hurting her by leaving. Remember that she wants to get laid almost as much as we do, and in the end staying with a lower quality woman is going to hurt a man much more than dumping her is going to hurt her.

Rex, you got this and we got your back.

Post: #199

Really appreciated the meetup, motivational talk, and in-person advice Gorgiass.

Met up with that girl again tonight and made it to first base. Did feel some fat rolls when I put my arm around her waist.

Post: #200

(10-30-2016 09:01 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Really appreciated the meetup, motivational talk, and in-person advice Gorgiass.

Met up with that girl again tonight and made it to first base. Did feel some fat rolls when I put my arm around her waist.

Please stop, get your ass over to Philippines, Thailand, or Ukraine ASAP. You're gonna get much better quality with less effort and your sex-drive will be in overdrive there. You will come back a happier, more confident man from your love vacation and won't have to dig for bottom of the barrel American women anymore.