Post: #301

Jesus was doing the last supper and he says:

Here's the bread, its my body.

Then he says

Here's the wine, its my blood

Then he opens the mayonnaise

And Judas says "let's stop here"

Aloha!

Post: #302

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.
She was thrilled at the speed.

"If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.

"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

"Go and get help!" he cried.

"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

Tying the shoe over her groin area wth the laces , the girl ran down the road and found a service station.

The shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! We had an accident and my boyfriend's stuck!"

The guy at the service station takes one look at her and then at the shoe and said,

"Sorry Miss. There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."

Post: #303

A lie repeated a thousand times, becomes truth, a milion times becomes religion, six milion times jewish reparations.

Post: #304

Post: #305

I've been cheating on my amputee wife for years. I think she knows by now. I feel really guilty and to be honest I'm surprised she hasn't kicked me out.

Post: #306

An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.

The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!"

Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?"

The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

Post: #307

Post: #308

Men and women are equal.

Post: #309

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?


























Neither have they.

Post: #310

Edgy.

Post: #311

A future question on a high school history test run by SJW's

Pres. Donald Trump was the president that was

A. Literally Hitler
B. Literally Mussolini
C. Putin's butt buddy
D. The God Emperor

Answering D would have you sent to correct history training on Presidents

Post: #312

What do you call a man with a 1 inch dick?

Justin.

Sure, it's a joke, but it's still Trudeau.

Post: #313

Post: #314

How's the rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it.

Who's the best Jewish cook ever? Hitler.

Aloha!

Post: #315

A Jewish businessman decides to send his son to Israel to study Judaism to become a better Jew. His some comes back from the trip: "Dad, thank you for the trip it was awesome, I learned a lot, and I converted to Christianity."

The businessman is flabbergasted, and goes to his friend.
--Moshe, I sent my son to Israel to study Judaism but he became a Christian!
--Abram, how interesting that you come to me with this question--I sent my son on the same trip and he also returned a Christian! Let's go ask our rabbi.
--Rebe, we sent our sons to Israel to study Judaism but they became Christians!
--How interesting that you come to me with this question--I sent my son to Israel and he also returned a Christian! Let us pray.

Heavens open up, thunderous voice answers them:
--How interesting that you come to me with this question...

Post: #316

(04-21-2018 05:33 PM)MOVSM Wrote:  A Jewish businessman decides to send his son to Israel to study Judaism to become a better Jew. His some comes back from the trip: "Dad, thank you for the trip it was awesome, I learned a lot, and I converted to Christianity."

The businessman is flabbergasted, and goes to his friend.
--Moshe, I sent my son to Israel to study Judaism but he became a Christian!
--Abram, how interesting that you come to me with this question--I sent my son on the same trip and he also returned a Christian! Let's go ask our rabbi.
--Rebe, we sent our sons to Israel to study Judaism but they became Christians!
--How interesting that you come to me with this question--I sent my son to Israel and he also returned a Christian! Let us pray.

Heavens open up, thunderous voice answers them:
--How interesting that you come to me with this question...

Hahaha, heaven opened up haha!! Or wait...

Sorry, but I didn't get the joke? What was it?

Post: #317

What does the Star Ship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle around Uranus looking for “cling ons”.

Post: #318

What do you call strippers who dance at the same club? Co-twerkers

Post: #319

This are jokes by a thirteen year old girl in Holland during WWII.

Quote:Do you know why the German Wehrmacht girls are in Holland? As mattresses for the soldiers.

Quote:A man had a very ugly wife and he didn't want to have relations with her. One evening he came home and then he saw his friend in bed with his wife, then the man said: 'He gets to and I have to!!!

They are newly discovered red pill passages of the diary of Anne Frank.

From Business Insider:

It Will Be Fun To See How SJWs Hamster These Away

The hamstering is already starting at Metafilter.com.

https://www.metafilter.com/174146/He-get...-I-have-to

First comment out of the gates.

Quote:I don't know how I feel about this... Publishing her diary always seemed problematic to me, but publishing pages she clearly covered up herself.... I don't know.

We are reading these jokes without Anne Frank's consent.

Clear signs of pedophilia and rape.

Post: #320

delete.

Post: #321

Bill and Hilary Clinton are lying in bed. Hilary has been on 8chan looking at videos of dead Syrian children, and it's made her horny.

She turns to Bill and says "How's about it Bill, for old time's sake? You can close your eyes and think of Monica if you like."

Bill thinks about it but all he can see is the picture opposite the bed of Vladimir Putin that Hilary throws darts at every night. He just can't get it up.

"Sorry Hilary," he says, "looks like the Russians have hacked my erection."

Post: #322

Nasim Aghdam woke up after she shot herself to find herself in a hotel surrounded with guns and she is greeted by the Columbine shooters.

"Welcome Nasim, we watched your event and want to welcome you into the Shooters Hotel" Eric said

Dylan responds with "This is where all mass shooters go when they die, to their own reward".

They guide her to her room, along she sees names like Stephen Paddock and Cho Seung- Hui on the room doors.

They go to her room where she finds her reward, an eternity of sex with Adam Lanza, the Sandy Hook shooter.

Post: #323

I don't mean to spam the forum but I'd like to draw everyone's attention to the upcoming flat earth convention. There will be speeches by some of the most prominent flat earthers from around the globe, and it will be sponsored by Google Earth. If anyone is interested in the Global Flat Earthers Convention 2018 just send me a message. If you can't make it, not to worry as it will be live streamed at 3pm, however this will vary depending on your time zone.

Post: #324

(05-18-2018 10:13 PM)Kurgan Wrote:  Nasim Aghdam woke up after she shot herself to find herself in a hotel surrounded with guns and she is greeted by the Columbine shooters.

"Welcome Nasim, we watched your event and want to welcome you into the Shooters Hotel" Eric said

Dylan responds with "This is where all mass shooters go when they die, to their own reward".

They guide her to her room, along she sees names like Stephen Paddock and Cho Seung- Hui on the room doors.

They go to her room where she finds her reward, an eternity of sex with Adam Lanza, the Sandy Hook shooter.

Post: #325

Yeah...I don't get it.