Post: #276

It's really frustrating reading german novels. You have no idea what's actually going on until the last couple of pages, where all the verbs are.

Post: #277

Little Johnny comes in to where his dad is sitting watching TV

LJ "Dad whats the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"

Dad. "Thats easy. Go ask your mom to show you where you came from"

Little Johnny runs upstairs to find his mom then comes back shocked expression on his face. Before he can say anything dad says

Dad "Now go ask your sister to show you what all the boys want"

Little Johnny runs upstairs to find his sister then comes back with an even more shocked expression on his face. Before he can say anything dad says

Dad "So there you have it son."

LJ "Uhhh ok...I dont understand?"

Dad "What your mom and your sister showed you was their pussy. Everything else attached to it was the cunt"

Post: #278

What does Hillary Clinton and your dick have in common?

They're both stuck up assholes.

Post: #279

If Turkey was going to invade Italy from the rear, would Greece help?

Post: #280

I was banging a girl from behind last night and slipped a finger in her ass.

Girl: Eddie!! What the fuck are you doing!!?

Me: Mining Buttcoin.

Girl: Oh. (Gets FOMO and sticks a finger in her ass too)

Post: #281

What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

They can both smell it but aren't allowed to eat it.

Post: #282

I believe that we can fight collectivism.....together!

Post: #283

When it comes to native indians, I have reservations.

Post: #284

I just heard this classic:

What did the Mexican fireman name his kids? Jose and Hose B.

Aloha!

Post: #285

Post: #286

What's the difference between a dilapidated place where people wait for the bus, and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a rusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Post: #287

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother 'Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!'
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.'
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, 'Really small, was it?'
Sally replied, 'No... salty!'

Post: #288

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a hot woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto, Tonto Kawalski".

Post: #289

Post: #290

Build a man a fire, keep him warm for a day;

Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.

Post: #291

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

Post: #292

(02-15-2018 09:55 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

That same dyslexic guy decided to go full devil worshipper and sold his soul to Santa.

Edit: Then he went to a toga party dressed up like a goat.

Edit2: Then he called me up and said "Kona I went to the doctor today and he says I got the big C" I said "Oh cancer, that's terrible" and he said " No dyslexia."

Aloha!

Post: #293

(02-15-2018 11:14 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(02-15-2018 09:55 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

That same dyslexic guy decided to go full devil worshipper and sold his soul to Santa.

Edit: Then he went to a toga party dressed up like a goat.

Edit2: Then he called me up and said "Kona I went to the doctor today and he says I got the big C" I said "Oh cancer, that's terrible" and he said " No dyslexia."

Aloha!

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!!

Post: #294

(02-15-2018 11:21 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

(02-15-2018 11:14 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(02-15-2018 09:55 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

That same dyslexic guy decided to go full devil worshipper and sold his soul to Santa.

Edit: Then he went to a toga party dressed up like a goat.

Edit2: Then he called me up and said "Kona I went to the doctor today and he says I got the big C" I said "Oh cancer, that's terrible" and he said " No dyslexia."

Aloha!

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!!

Seriously though, being dyslexic is tough. I'll never forget the day they told me. 8991 Yam, rd23. That was a rough day.

Aloha!

Post: #295

I get the feeling that Kona has more dyslexia jokes than stolen beer cans from Walmart.

Post: #296

hmmmm

Post: #297

"WHAT DO WE WANT?"

"A CURE FOR TOURETTES!"

"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"

"CUNTS!"

Post: #298

(02-16-2018 03:07 PM)Matsufubu Wrote:  "WHAT DO WE WANT?"

"A CURE FOR TOURETTES!"

"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"

"CUNTS!"

"WHAT DO WE WANT?"

"A CURE FOR DYSLEXIA!"

"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?”

"WON!”

Post: #299

My wife had one of those near death experiences on Sunday. Yeah, she started vacuuming during the game.

My gender studies professor told me I need to view the world from a woman’s perspective. So I looked out the kitchen window.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

Post: #300

Why is Jesus the greatest man to ever live? He is the only one whose second coming will be greater than his first.