Post: #76

All is well man! I understand what you mean.

Also, you just reminded me to rep samsamsam. I can't believe I've forgotten that for so long!

Post: #77

(02-15-2016 07:45 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  - The main question I was asking, in case it was a little bit unclear, is that if its possible to simply pay her child support monthly and have the child out of my sight and therefore out of my mind. What I'm worried about is me getting an attachment to the child, then suddenly getting into a heartbreaking custody battle of sorts.

I think you would only get attached if you spent time with your child. Even then, there may come a day where you realize it may be in everyone's best interests to just step away. The circumstances for that can be very diverse. It could be due to her issues, your issues, or just the dynamic of them both, coupled with unresolved questions from each person's childhood.

As far as the "Man-Up" responses go. I think it comes from a place where you should take responsibility for your actions. Men have always believed in this since the dawn of time, and we are talking thousands of years of masculine belief. If a man abandoned a pregnant woman he was shamed by all other men and society as a whole.

However times have changed. Men no longer have the power to decided how to support, raise and discipline their offspring. That power has been stripped away by modern day family law and given entirely to the woman.

Only men who have been through this first-hand can truly know of what I speak.

For the other men it's more like, "Yeah, I think I heard something about that somewhere. Well, just man-up and raise your kid like we've done for thousands of years, ok?"

These men have no idea what today's reality is like, so naturally you are going to get a programmed response.

And some of those men where raised by single mothers. Single mother's who had years of alone time to lay seeds in their heads of how bad the Father is. How all the problems are because he's not there. As a child you want the love of the Mother more than anything so you will agree and believe as she wants.

I know, I was one of these kids who felt abandoned by the Father. Grew up angry with the Father. It wasn't until I became a Father myself, with a crazy woman as the Mother (like my own) did I finally see with clarity what my Father had gone through.

They say History repeats itself. These words of wisdom are talking about personal history/generational history. We are all fated to recreate our childhood drama in our adult lives. This is why I say it's important to not only know hers, but to gain awareness of yours.

The only way to have a truly free existence is to discover how you are unconsciously playing out a part in a play. Once you see that, then you may finally have an opportunity at choice.

Post: #78

Without prejudgement I still have not heard what You want to do?

You are 22 and she is ?? years old - she says she is preggers and that it is likely yours...

Key question is at 22 What do YOU want to do?

Today, Tomorrow, 9 Months from now, 5 to 10 years from now and for the rest of your life?

What you want to do is far more important that just about any thing else discussed in this thread.

Post: #79

(02-15-2016 08:58 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  Without prejudgement I still have not heard what You want to do?

You are 22 and she is ?? years old - she says she is preggers and that it is likely yours...

Key question is at 22 What do YOU want to do?

Today, Tomorrow, 9 Months from now, 5 to 10 years from now and for the rest of your life?

What you want to do is far more important that just about any thing else discussed in this thread.

lol....OP outlined all of this in the thread.

Post: #80

(02-15-2016 07:09 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  

(02-15-2016 05:48 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  Let's act like MEN and stop the holier than thou crap.

You keep expressing this sentiment, but I don't think you've thought it through. Men are the leaders of morals, not women. And pressing a moral argument serves a purpose, it isn't just moral high horsemanship. It's just a fact that abortion constitutes killing a human life. It's also true that no one will punish you. But that doesn't mean it can't affect you. Have you never seen an old lonely man? Out drinking all the time. Knowing that he'll die soon enough and no one will give a shit.

OP is forgetting one great advantage -- the kid will be out of the house by the time he's 40. Everyone else will look like Sanders while their kids are still young adults. I met a guy once who'd gotten a chick pregnant when he was 18, married her, had more. He was like 36 by the time they were leaving home. Then it's done and you can do whatever the hell you want.

I agree with the fact that some people haven't thought it through. It's because some people are smart but not experienced, for example in raising children. Yet they will compare this something they are not experienced in to something else they "may be" experienced in or have some experience in. To me that's akin to taking what may be characterized as a high moral ground just the same. Not to mention, it's opinion that is likely not based on fact due to a primary basis in perception rather than experience. I don't understand how perception is characterized as great whereas experience can be characterized as "subjective." I go back to my issue with credibility. If you have no experience in it, it's cool to have opinions but your opinions against those with experience and hence more credibility, have no value, at least to me.

Suggesting (through experience in some cases/posts) moral actions directly beneficial to another human life (no matter how little by the way) constitutes a moral high ground. However, suggesting banging women until your dick loses its magical powers constitutes something equal or better? I don't buy it.

I also don't buy the "as a man, do whatever you want and makes you feel good" philosophy. What that's saying is "satisfy your dick, fuck everything else," including your obligation to yourself to be a better man. Be clear on the fact that they are not one and the same. Not at all.

To reiterate time and again, don't we need fathers? Good ones. Some of the men on our forum are best suited for this. Yet, a portion of them are the same ones that complain about the state of men being cucks, betas and pussies. I've done it myself and will include myself in this; only difference is that I realized it eventually. Those gentlemen have a chance to make things right practically by becoming good fathers. Otherwise, why complain? It's like watching a horde of invaders rape and pillage your town and you stay back and say "oh that's fucked up," then go back to your bonfire to talk about how the hordes fucked their women and made them angry. And women, we give them shit about not being feminine and motherly and turn right back around and act like we don't want to contribute by being both masculine and fatherly. Do we not have any responsibility as men anymore?

Given all the subjectivity that morality is mis-characterized with, let's move on to being objective instead for a minute lest someone bring moral superiority back up. As far as the comment regarding guys 30+ having an opinion that errs towards responsibility rather than getting their dick wet, I'll say this. Experience, again. Plain and simple. The older guys can be assumed to have more experience. So it can be deduced that you are getting more credible advice from these men that maybe fucked around but then took responsibility later as men. Age correlates with experience. These men are most likely better able to compare the benefits of raising a child to those benefits of the "playboy" lifestyle. OP, if you don't want to take their advice, it's on you. You can't blame them for shaming you, or worse, not take their advice because you felt like you got shamed.

And don't get me started on science versus emotion. Without emotion, we wouldn't be human. Humanity has a foundation built from our ability to be emotional, whether it's anger, joy, concern or sadness. Be my guest if you want to leave all of this and become mowgli instead. Maybe Baloo won't rape you, but maybe he will. It sure as hell won't be because of mercy or compassion if he doesn't. Maybe a silly example but what I'm trying to say is that we are not animals. Science can go only so far in making us masculine yet human men. We don't discard emotion because we're men rather than women.

While it may be beating a dead horse, as far as you being shamed again OP, welcome to being a man. No one here is shaming you. No one's opinion should matter more to you than yours. If someone saying something abrasively makes you feel like they are trying to shame you, remember that it's happening because of your feelings, not because of their words. That's more a life lesson than something for this post. I assume I was one of the people you referred to when you said people are taking the moral high ground for "likes," especially since I wrote the first response. I am sitting here writing this long ass post for you and the forum even though I have other things to do. I truly believe it's a worthwhile use of my time and even if you get a shred of advice from it, I'll be happy. It does not tangibly benefit me in any way because I have all the likes and reps I need.

We talk about how we thought we were right for 95% of history and how feminism has made it so people think the recent 5% is better due to the progressive liberal bullshit. Yet at the same time, we're ready to discard that 95% of history that shows responsibility and masculinity for the purpose of trading that in for a marginal amount of freedom and a few extra bangs. Again, I don't get it.

Post: #81

^

Long winded way of saying "I'm right, you're wrong, you'll regret not listening to me."

OP doesn't need to be a father today. I think EVERYONE will agree that 99.9999% of men are better prepared and thus, better period at being fathers at 30 vs 20, for a myriad of reasons.

If OPs choice was: Get an abortion, have your balls removed; or keep the kid, keep your balls, it would be different. As it stands, he loses nothing in his choice. He obviously has decent game, otherwise he wouldn't have a harem. He can always CHOOSE to have child(ren) later.

Some of you need to get your heads out of your asses. What YOU find valuable and worth pursuing is not what every man wants to pursue. Some men want nothing more than to get married ASAP and have lots of kids. Some want to sow their wild oats. Some eventually change their minds, leaving their wife and kids and fucking girls, and vice versa. Some men NEVER get married. Whatever a man chooses, it's HIS choice.

This shaming bullshit belongs on a feminist forum, not a red pill one. Giving advice and shaming a man are NOT one and the same.

Post: #82

(02-15-2016 07:45 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  For the holier than thou high-and-mighty "man-up" closet feminists: your judgement was of no help whatsoever. Next time, leave those kind of comments for a Dr. OZ message forums where you will induce many "feel good" feelings among fat single mothers.
This is a forum of red-pill men. Get your heads out of your asses and act accordingly.

I was going to respond to the intellectual rigor of "feminists say man-up", but I think there's little point. You've made your character very clear in this paragraph, and without a line through your name I can't honestly express my opinion of that character. I've been here about two years, and I'll now be using my ignore list for the first time. I will not be reading any content produced by people of your standard, especially not in a place like this.

(02-15-2016 11:05 PM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  Some of you need to get your heads out of your asses.

Your rep-to-membership-time ratio speaks for itself. No one gets any value from what comes out of your mouth. I'll be adding you too, to cut some of the noise out of the signal.

Post: #83

(02-16-2016 02:07 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  

(02-15-2016 11:05 PM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  Some of you need to get your heads out of your asses.

Your rep-to-membership-time ratio speaks for itself. No one gets any value from what comes out of your mouth. I'll be adding you too, to cut some of the noise out of the signal.

Good riddance to you. I have no desire to listen to your judgmental feminist talking points.

Post: #84

(02-15-2016 07:45 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  - The woman is 22 as well. She is half Russian half Armenian in descent. Her mother is Armenian and is Muslim. So she is the one saying there is no way she can get an abortion due to religious reasons.

Armenians are one of the 4 master races. You would do well to let her bear your child.

Quote:- The main question I was asking, in case it was a little bit unclear, is that if its possible to simply pay her child support monthly and have the child out of my sight and therefore out of my mind. What I'm worried about is me getting an attachment to the child, then suddenly getting into a heartbreaking custody battle of sorts.

If you're in Canada? Most likely you can get off with $350/month. Or less.

Quote:- for background on this girl: She is not the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Period. She's a good girl and I wish her the best but I do not want to be with her for the rest of my life. She is certainly in love with me and I simply cannot reciprocate those feelings. Therefore I feel like she is keeping this child as a way to keep a part of me. I think she knows deep down that she can never have me to herself and she knows I fuck a lot of other girls on the side (she doesn't know she's in a harem; she thinks she's my girl and I just "cheat" from time to time).

Do what I do, lay it on her straight: you can be with me, but there will be other women, and I don't tolerate any jealousy. Since she's from the Muslim branch of Armenians, she has to go along with it for the same reason she says she can't abort.

Quote:and for the ultimate update:
I convinced her an abortion is the best decision for me, her, as well as the child. I am going to pay for it 100% (if there are any costs associated, im not quite sure) and I will take a few days off work to be there with her to support her and take care of her after the abortion. As for her mother, she is going to tell her she had an unfortunate miscarriage and thats that.
I am not going to celebrate just yet, because women can be change their minds like the wind. So I'm holding off that until the day I take her to the clinic. She is a level headed girl (as far as females go) and she works as a nurse so I have a pretty good feeling she will in fact go through with this.

Sounds like you are aborting the child because you have some monogamy ideal in your mind. To me, that is sad. Hebrews, Jews, Israelites and Muslims don't have this hangup. Even the chief Armenian Christian priest said that monogamy isn't morally superior. What is the point of a harem if you can't get them all pregnant at the same time?

Quote:For those that have responded with advice, thank you. I am 22 and I know there are more esteemed members on this forum that have been in my exact shoes and I made this post hoping to hear their input.

I'm 40. Been through a lot. I've found most women to be bat-shit crazy, but my kids take after me, and they love me. Once they're born, your heart changes. This is natural, and good. Abortion is like masturbation. Fruitless, doesn't build up your future.

Quote:For the holier than thou high-and-mighty "man-up" closet feminists: your judgement was of no help whatsoever. Next time, leave those kind of comments for a Dr. OZ message forums where you will induce many "feel good" feelings among fat single mothers.
This is a forum of red-pill men. Get your heads out of your asses and act accordingly.

I didn't see any men like that posting on this thread. Just more experienced men giving you the advice and warnings you asked for.

Post: #85

Random thoughts:

I hate the abortion debate. Everyone gets heated and nobody changes their mind.

Onto's comments on page 3 and 4 are spot-on and is real talk speaking from a lifetime of experience.

Ideally, you want to give the kid the best possible environment to succeed. If you can't provide that (that being, a stable two person household), abortion is the first option. If that isn't an option for whatever reason, adoption by a loving family is probably the next best option.

If she decides to keep it, don't abandon your kid and just become a paycheck. The world is filled with enough children who feel abandoned by a parent(s) as it is. Feeling unwanted and neglected by a parent as a child is one of the worst feelings on the planet.

Few things are more anti-red pill to me than a man who unnecessarily abandons his child. Remember this: the child didn't get a choice in picking its parents or to be born for that matter but you do get a choice to be involved in some capacity and to make a positive impact. It might not be ideal circumstances but believe me, something is better than nothing. Trust me on this.

Post: #86

This vaguely reminds me of an Jezebel article typed by their EIC Emma Carmichael. I won't recommend reading it, as it's somewhat headache inducing and doesn't make too much sense. Carmichael essentially posits that even though their website is a feminist website, they have no responsibility to have a coherent or logical message. They can talk about negative body stereotypes in the media, and the post under can be a reveal of Lena Dunham's ultra photoshopped Vogue spread, and you need to deal with it. In a way, I feel like that's parallel to this issue.

I'm going to say this. Accepting the red pill means that you're committing yourself to being a more narcissistic human being. I'm not passing judgement, this is just a fact. Men were brought here because the current sexual climate favors women over men, and we're trying to push the see-saw down. However, when issues like this come up, I think if the "man-up" side of the debate looks down at the ground they're standing on...





Yeah. How can we be a part of a community that actively tells men to get theres and win the relationship battle at all costs, and then turn around and tell him to man up in a situation, because a child becomes involved? We are (essentially) telling men to be more narcissistic in their approach to life and relationships, but we're going to place an arbitrary line on that narcissism at a child?

On one hand, you could say that what the "man-up" side is preaching is that at this point, narcissism should stop for the sake of this child. But that's not really the case, because that in itself is a narcissistic take when combined with the fact that we still actively preach not to take care of anyone else's child, but your own. To the man-up side, it's still not about really about the kid, it's about their legacy. To the "ditch the kid worry about yourself", it's not really about the kid, it's about their life.

If I'm not (I'm sure I'm not) making a clear point, let me attempt to here. Both sides of this argument are (essentially) saying the same thing. It's about MY life, I don't want a kid. I want a child, it's about MY legacy. So this really boils down to a matter of personal choice. You have a limited amount of time on this earth. Do you value the idea of a legacy you'll leave behind, or the life you will be living on this earth? If you ask me, those are two sides of the same coin.

Post: #87

(02-15-2016 11:05 PM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  ^

Long winded way of saying "I'm right, you're wrong, you'll regret not listening to me."

OP doesn't need to be a father today. I think EVERYONE will agree that 99.9999% of men are better prepared and thus, better period at being fathers at 30 vs 20, for a myriad of reasons.

If OPs choice was: Get an abortion, have your balls removed; or keep the kid, keep your balls, it would be different. As it stands, he loses nothing in his choice. He obviously has decent game, otherwise he wouldn't have a harem. He can always CHOOSE to have child(ren) later.

Some of you need to get your heads out of your asses. What YOU find valuable and worth pursuing is not what every man wants to pursue. Some men want nothing more than to get married ASAP and have lots of kids. Some want to sow their wild oats. Some eventually change their minds, leaving their wife and kids and fucking girls, and vice versa. Some men NEVER get married. Whatever a man chooses, it's HIS choice.

This shaming bullshit belongs on a feminist forum, not a red pill one. Giving advice and shaming a man are NOT one and the same.

You should now actually read my post and address anything specific. I hate for the forum to think you're angry because that would be emotional, which in turn is a detriment according to you.

You also may want to reconsider your messaging when you say things to members that have been around a while. I'll tell you that saying they need to "get their heads out of their asses," and implying they "need to write on feminist forums" is not a great way to build credibility. As a matter of fact, it's a great way to lose it instead.

OP can follow the advice he wants to follow. He's not a child that should feel ashamed when the advice he's asking for isn't what he wants. Something tells me you are not far from throwing tantrums because you're not seeing the result you desire in this thread. You made many posts in this thread for the sole purpose of disagreement.

Since you appear to know a lot about the subject, let me start by asking a few simple questions. Were you ever married? Have any children? If the answer is no, I can live with that.

However, what I have a harder time with is that you have not documented one single approach, game data sheet or met any members. Yet, you have self proclaimed yourself as a "veteran" of game based on your profile. Care to explain how you got there? Seems "holier than thou" to me, not to mention suspect.

Given the advice and gung ho attitude you have had on this thread including calling members with good reputation feminists, I think the forum membership would want to know what your credibility profile looks like.

It's been a little while since I've done troll hunting. I don't mind if people disagree with me. My best friends disagree. However, the way it comes across from you is tryhard and lacks credibility. Your posts could have had a better balance of respect and experience but you chose to write without them. There's even a part of me that wants OP to get rid of that child. However, if he does I hope he does it based on the advice of other credible members, not you.

I'm holding my breath for your response. I would be extremely careful with your choice of words if I were you.

Post: #88

Not sure why there's an abortion debate in the thread. Like it or not, OP has no choice there. Only choices he has is if she decides not to abort; either become an absentee father or not.

Post: #89

This thread right now

Post: #90

(02-16-2016 03:49 AM)TheMost Wrote:  Do what I do, lay it on her straight: you can be with me, but there will be other women, and I don't tolerate any jealousy. Since she's from the Muslim branch of Armenians, she has to go along with it for the same reason she says she can't abort.


Sounds like you are aborting the child because you have some monogamy ideal in your mind. To me, that is sad. Hebrews, Jews, Israelites and Muslims don't have this hangup. Even the chief Armenian Christian priest said that monogamy isn't morally superior. What is the point of a harem if you can't get them all pregnant at the same time?

Yes this. Why is the OP making it sound like he has to give up gaming other women if he keeps the kid. One option is to keep the baby, keep banging other women and tell her this is the sort of man you are, and that is the reason why she is so in love with you in the first place. If she can be on board with that, then you can have your cake and eat it too, or have your baby and keep your harem. Unless there is something I am missing that OP isn't saying.

Post: #91

Although it's sad to hear, at least the situation has been resolved and the OP is gone. No need to keep arguing about this stuff, it does make people emotional and bring in moral arguments, which can then be taken personally by the person asking the question, making that person emotional and it just gets worse. When you're in a tough situation like this, you don't really need to be told you're weak and not a man etc.

I just wanted to say thanks Onto, I just posted to give some advice and share some experience, but what you posted was actually really helpful to me. Somehow I had not thought of the fact that I would probably regret what happened either way, and I could be in a different, probably worse, situation.

I've been thinking about what you said and I still feel I could definitely handle that confrontation a lot better now, I'm actually up for the fight. I do want to at least know her name and what she looks like. However deep down I know that being a weekend babysitter and a source of money while I fight and argue with the ex and whatever beta bucks she has raising my girl probably isn't worth it, sadly for her and myself.

Post: #92

Im pretty sure the OP has bowed out of this thread now and it comes down to exposing the anger of a newly red pill man. I have seen this dozens of times over the years.

When a mans first thought on pregnancy is: Cheating, not my kid, lying about pregnancy, poked holes in condom, etc he is still in the first stage of the red pill.

Most of the solid advice on this thread comes from men who are confident in their ability to bang a better woman, and if she does get pregnant are not running screaming about getting cheated by some lying bitch. The earliest fundamentals of getting beyond this type of thinking is knowing that women are not our enemies. They have their own agendas, and we have ours and getting angry does nothing but pull us into their agenda. If young men feel the need to "win" against women, the best way is to build a solid business, be with quality women, and to guide the next generation of men (and women if you have a family).

Cobra talks of experience and it is exactly this. Its just a shame that young men see everything as an attack on their fragile egos. Many can't even stand to be wrong as its meant to shame them? I get it, a young man can find information on anything now days, and feels just as smart as a man who is 40. Yet they lack the experience until they themselves try and fail and try again, finding what works best for them- and only them.

Post: #93

(02-15-2016 08:22 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  I'm more upset that I feel the "advice" I was given from some members wasn't true to their heart advice.
But rather something to say to garner "feel good" moral brownie points as well as receive a high number of "likes" on their post.

Both HCE and samsamsam are posters that I highly respect and look up to. I wish not to be in your bad graces.
I purely just think some of the responses were here simply to shame me and look morally superior than actually give me advice to apply.

E Man - wish I would of saw this sooner.

My situation was a little different - I got my ex LTR pregnant - we both agreed it wasn't the right time for a child.

She was more agreeing to an abortion and was less conservative to your girl.

I "loved" her but in all reality it wasn't a good time for us. She got the abortion, I supported her through it and I dated her for another year before dumping her because we were at different points in our lives.

You were right in getting the abortion, you don't see yourself with that women, and aren't in the right mindset to have a child. Despite the political/moral arguments aside, I think you did the right thing.

It's a shitty situation all over, but you have to deal with it. You deal with it as best you can, and you've gotta be a bit selfish.

It's an important learning lesson.

Post: #94

(02-16-2016 07:28 AM)Cobra Wrote:  Since you appear to know a lot about the subject, let me start by asking a few simple questions. Were you ever married? Have any children? If the answer is no, I can live with that.

No I've never been married. Yes, I had a daughter, if you read my above posts, you'd know that. The girl and I decided to have her adopted. We are both very happy with our choice to this day. In short: I was in the OP's EXACT situation

Quote:However, what I have a harder time with is that you have not documented one single approach, game data sheet or met any members. Yet, you have self proclaimed yourself as a "veteran" of game based on your profile. Care to explain how you got there? Seems "holier than thou" to me, not to mention suspect.

So are you suggesting everyone has to prove themselves to you? Sorry bud, I'm not here to collect rep points or talk about how many girls are in my harem. This is an internet forum---I have no need to brag about how awesome my life is to random men I've never met. I'm here to read, learn, and improve my life based on the experiences of others. When I see a subject I'm knowledgeable about, I'll occasionally drop my own ideas and thoughts onto a thread. That said, I'll humor you: My journey started with "The Game" a little over a decade ago. It took me about 2 years after reading it to actually do my first approach. A year later I lost my virginity. Then I took my first trip to NYC for 2 weeks, and approached like a machine. That experience taught me just how abundant beautiful women are, and helped me discover confidence in myself. I've had 3 LTR's and slept with ~25 or so women.

To answer your question about my lack of posts on game:
While I know my own abilities with women, I don't think of myself as an "expert" by any means. I haven't traveled to another country, so I don't have any "flags". In short, I don't think I have anything groundbreaking to add to the subject. There are only so many ways to say: "Stop pedalizing, go out an approach, this is how to deal with LMR". I'm not going to waste anyones time reposting what others have said in a more eloquent way. It goes back to what I said above: I'm here to learn, not have a pissing contest.

Quote:I'm holding my breath for your response. I would be extremely careful with your choice of words if I were you.

Your sarcasm has been duly noted.

Post: #95

Wow man that sucks. When I got a 2 girls, they wanted to keep it. Man, I started telling them " you're crazy, I'm broke and you want to kid to be loser like me?" and " man, you're going to be another statistic" and my fav, "what will your family think and your friends, they'll talk about you behind your back". Yeah they were worried about how they would be perceived by their friends and family. So they aborted. Good times

Post: #96

I have read all the responses to the OP. Although I respectfully disagree with some members, I respect their opinions, and I sincerely believe that nobody should be shamed for their opinion. After all, many of us are from different backgrounds, cultures, age brackets, races and so on.

I am speaking as a son of a single mother, who is a little bit older than you, OP (just turned 26). Despite all attempts of the media lies, growing as a man without a father is very, very fucked up (I will be swearing from time to time because this is fucking personal). I had contact with my father regardless, but he was in other country, far away from mine, so he could not visit me often and be with me (and that was during the time before Skype, Viber...).

But enough of me, let talk about options, which, I believe, you should take. Again, I am no by all means an expert, and know that, ultimately, it is your life, and your decision. Regardless of your decision, you will not find an enemy in me.

First, and most important of all, do not abort the child unless it is deformed. Also, when, and if it is born, have it checked if it is yours.

If not, ditch and sue the bitch.

Second thing, do not put it for adoption. Imagine when someone told you, in your face, as a child or teenager, that you were a result of "accident" and thrown away, like some animal. How would you feel? Take a moment, and imagine your situation.

It would hurt, yes?

It would demolish your confidence, yes?

Even if you have foster parents.

If I were you, I would cohabit with that girl and make sure that the kid receives all the love he/she requires. Every kid deserves a father who is involved, and, again,as a son of a single mother, I believe that I know this better than many of us. Make sure that your woman knows that you will be sleeping with other women but that she and the children will always have priority. Monica Belucci in the same agreement with her husband - he can sleep around, but she is always in priority. Win - win. I know they are rich and everything, but that should not be an obstacle.

So, to conclude - keep the child and be there for him. Abort only if it is deformed or something.

Post: #97

^^

The first 3 sentences of your post are exactly my thoughts.

The rest however.. Perhaps it's because of English not being our native language but your post comes across as 'commanding'.

- From what I understand you are anti-abortion, which is fine, different people, different opinions. (Your first 3 sentences cover it all)
- From what I understand you are anti-adoption, which is fine, different people, different opinions. (Your first 3 sentences cover it all)
- From what I understand you are anti 'raised by single mother', which is fine, different people, different opinions. (Your first 3 sentences cover it all)
- From what I understand you are pro 'part-time father', which is fine, different people, different opinions. (Your first 3 sentences cover it all)

Now what I do not understand is your logic behind al off this.

- How is abortion suddenly 'ok' when you find out the kid is deformed / has down syndrome etc?
- How can adoption be a bad thing when the child lives it's life happy, loved and cared for by people who were ready for it. People that really wanted a kid in their life and made the choice to adopt a child for whatever their reason may be.
- How can you, child raised by a single mother, advocate for a 'forced' mommy/daddy situation that will most likely will be a ticking timebomb. Trust me, growing up and being a witness of all the shit between your parents is propably the worst option of all.

Simply put, there is no ideal choice to make. All options will have concequences and you just can not account for all of them. All you can do is weigh off every option vs the others, make a decision based on your own unique situation and work, fight and hope for the best. First and foremost HIS decision will be based upon the choice SHE makes regarding going for abortion or not.

I'm not going to tell op what I would do, because my choice would propably be different when I'm eventually confronted with a situation like this. I just hope for him it works out in his best interest, whatever that may be.

Post: #98

Being raised by a single mother was fine until I reached around 18. Then it all started to hit me. Single mothers cannot teach you what it is to be a man. Especially semi-crazy mothers like mine.

However, my dad was/is a piece of shit and would have certainly ruined my life anyway if he was around.

It is certainly a conundrum.

Post: #99

It wasn't until I was older I realized it wasn't the fact my Father wasn't around that was the negative.

The negative was I had a crazy, self-indulgent, alcoholic, feminist Mother around who was self-absorbed in her own career and drinking.

If you think about it logically, if someone isn't there how can they have such a great affect on your life? It stands to reason the parent who actually is there has all the affect. For good or bad.

The modern day media however ignores all this, gives the single Mom a pass, and says the reason why the fucked up kids are fucked up is because the Father wasn't around. It couldn't possibly be because of who the Mother was.

Even Mother's who kill their own kids get a pass by the media, while they go find the estranged Father to throw under the bus.

Mother's are sacred to boys. Even as adults, men have a very hard time seeing fault with their Mother so the absentee Father makes the perfect scapegoat for all that childhood negativity.

I'm not saying having a good Father around isn't a great benefit. It absolutely is. However, much of the power a good Father would need in order to do his job has been stripped away by the courts. How can you raise a good kid if you are just a weekend babysitter, who has no disciplinary reach over their child. Who's Mother is constantly trying to undermine and relativize you.

If you have a woman that's not doing those things, and she is going to obey what you say, then that's different. But let's be realistic. We're talking about a situation where the parents aren't together, where there is obviously some kind of historical animosity. No woman is going to give up power in this situation when they have it. That's been my experience anyway.

Post: #100

The only advice I can add to this thread is to be fully committed to which path you end up on.

1. If you end up on the abortion route, own it. Don't pretend its anything but killing a baby because it will inconvenience your life. That being said you had better make something extraordinary out of your life if you are going to extinguish another to continue your lifestyle. It is legal, but it is a severe and somber choice to make.

2. If you end up going the parent route, go tits out. Turn this armenian into a home schooling housewife or if a single parent destroy her in custody agreements to make sure that you are the parent making the decisions, get child support from her and use it to hire a nanny or housekeeper.

Do not do this half assed or you will become a) a fearless rawdogger that always sees abortion as a option or b) a shit parent that raises a fucked up an resentful child. Be dedicated to either path you choose.