Post: #51

(02-15-2016 12:03 AM)Laner Wrote:  

(02-14-2016 11:42 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(02-14-2016 11:34 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

(02-14-2016 11:22 PM)Onto Wrote:  No one can say what the motivation for having an out-of-wedlock child is without knowing more about her and her childhood.

She could be doing it for good reasons or bad ones. There's not enough info given from the OP yet to know.

How many "good reasons" are there for a young girl to have a child out of wed lock?

She could be religious, or doesn't believe in abortion. I imagine being pregnant kicks in a women's maternal instincts in some way also.

People don't have sex with the expectation they are going to have a child. When people attack a man with the argument, "You should've thought of that before you had sex with her", they are ignoring this fact. It's like blaming a person who gets into a car accident that they should've thought of that before they decided to drive. Sex, like driving is just something you need to do even if there are risks that go with it. Nobody goes into either expecting an unwanted outcome.

It's a big decision for a woman to have an abortion or a child. Lots of inner-turmoil I imagine. For us we don't have to deal with that, though we are often asked to pay the price for whatever decision they make.

Absolutely. But rawdogging young girls is like driving drunk on Tequila. Fun and the risk is always for other people, never me. I am also insane in this regard, as I have rawdogged far more women than I should have, but never without knowing the possibility of what could happen.

Why does everyone assume the OP was rawdogging? He could have been using condoms religiously and she poked a hole in one for all we know.

Post: #52

I've been in a similar situation last year, though it ended in her having a miscarriage I feel like I matured 10 years during those months.

I look back and I can see that my vision was very clouded during those months. Now I can think much clearer about the thing.

Someone posted this video on my pregnancy thread and this is what snapped me back to reality. Do NOT let her keep the kid if you don't want the kid.





You may or may not be pro life but if you're going to write her checks every month and let another child grow up without a father figure, don't do it because you think, or because other people tell you that it's the right thing to do.

You sound like you're not so sure about abortion yourself, I wasn't either. It's not "her body her choice" you have every right in the world to not want the kid since it's 50% your kid as well.

I don't know man, maybe get some abortion pills crush them up and shove them up her ass while you're doggy styling or something.

Post: #53

To the Op - The_e_man

The differing advice you are getting here will vary on many factors depending on each forum members personal experiences and convictions, but one thing that you can be pretty sure of is that the majority of guys here in their 20s will be telling you to get the girl to terminate the pregnancy or put it up for adoption, and most guys in their 30s (and up) will probably be telling you to not shy away from being a father.

So, take into account that the way you feel now, may not be the way you feel in 10 years time, when this child would be 9 years old.

Once again, I advise you to:

1. Be sure she is really pregnant
2. Be sure it's really your child

Any other considerations before those 2 things are established with 100% certainty is just mental masturbation.

Post: #54

Abortion is murder. That's my opinion and I won't change it. Adoption is stupid. These two things have contributed significantly to the cultural decline of the west. I am really shocked at the number of guys here advocating abortion and adoption. These are the same people who complain about how shitty the West has become. Don't be hypocrites. Don't be a part of the decline. You banged her raw. Don't act like you were unaware of the consequences.

Post: #55

(02-15-2016 05:30 AM)SydneyD Wrote:  Abortion is murder. That's my opinion and I won't change it. Adoption is stupid. These two things have contributed significantly to the cultural decline of the west. I am really shocked at the number of guys here advocating abortion and adoption. These are the same people who complain about how shitty the West has become. Don't be hypocrites. Don't be a part of the decline. You banged her raw. Don't act like you were unaware of the consequences.

I can deal with someones moral qualms with abortion....but adoption?

What experience do you have on adoption that makes you such an expert? How has adoption "contributed significantly to the cultural decline of the west"? How many children have been adopted in your family? How many kids have you sired? How many baby mamas do you have?\


And finally: Why does everyone automatically assume OP banged her raw? I read his post 3 times....nowhere does he say he was raw-dogging. Don't assume because it's advocated on the forum that everyone automatically does it.

Post: #56

A bunch of you are acting like people were in the Trump thread when he lost Iowa....emotional wrecks.

"When you're 30 you'll FEEL differently."

So what if that were true? Let's say it is. You really base a life changing decision on how you FEEL? Let's be strictly logical here, we're all men. There is 0 LOGICAL reason to keep a child you DON'T WANT over an abortion. Many scientists argue about where life begins. Frankly, there's no hard and fast answer to it. So your MORAL reasons are based on EMOTIONS, not facts. There is no advantage to a man having a child he doesn't want at 22 compared to 32. None whatsoever. You're basically saying that when you're a decade older, you will FEEL differently. Well, FEELINGS don't put money in my pocket, they don't make my future secure financially and they certainly don't allow me to live the life I desire. As MEN, we don't have to worry about a biological clock. Our ability to sire children is just as good (better, in some ways) at 30 as it is at 20. There's simply no LOGICAL reason to keep a kid you don't want. Anyone who wants to pass moral judgement on the OP, why don't you just go and knock up a girl if you feel so strongly about having children? At the end of the day, it's HIS choice. He asked for advice, NOT judgment, and NOT criticism.

I really don't care what choice he makes, but this henpecking bullshit is ridiculous. You guys are acting like you're the mainstream media and he's Donald Trump. Let's act like MEN and stop the holier than thou crap.

Post: #57

giving away your kid is a stupid thing to do.

Post: #58

^^^
Even as an impartial observer, I must confess:



Restating your position in a debate is not the same as supporting it.

Post: #59

I'm not here to debate. I'm here to state my opinion and I've done that.

Post: #60

I had my first child at 16.

It largely depends on your opinion of the potential mother. I suggest you follow Mercenary's advice, absolutely confirm that she IS pregnant, and it IS your child.

How this affects your life, is solely up to you and your attitude towards the situation.(IMO) Best of luck OP.

Post: #61

(02-15-2016 05:48 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  Let's act like MEN and stop the holier than thou crap.

You keep expressing this sentiment, but I don't think you've thought it through. Men are the leaders of morals, not women. And pressing a moral argument serves a purpose, it isn't just moral high horsemanship. It's just a fact that abortion constitutes killing a human life. It's also true that no one will punish you. But that doesn't mean it can't affect you. Have you never seen an old lonely man? Out drinking all the time. Knowing that he'll die soon enough and no one will give a shit.

OP is forgetting one great advantage -- the kid will be out of the house by the time he's 40. Everyone else will look like Sanders while their kids are still young adults. I met a guy once who'd gotten a chick pregnant when he was 18, married her, had more. He was like 36 by the time they were leaving home. Then it's done and you can do whatever the hell you want.

Post: #62

(02-15-2016 05:38 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  And finally: Why does everyone automatically assume OP banged her raw? I read his post 3 times....nowhere does he say he was raw-dogging. Don't assume because it's advocated on the forum that everyone automatically does it.

It's safe to assume that he was since he has no suspicion that she is getting fucked by someone else. I think if he was using a condom and she became pregnant then he would at least have a little suspicion.

Post: #63

It's beyond all reason how a pregnancy thread on a red pill forum dedicated to self-improvement and mutual respect turns into a pro choice vs pro life shit storm.

I reckon it's OP who fucked and knocked up the girl in question, shouldn't it be OP who decides on what happens with the pregnancy?

Or are the pro-lifers thinking about raising this kid themselves?

Post: #64

Hey OP,

I was in a similiar situation, that situation was the red pill slapping me in the face.

I know you probably your mind is probably constantly worrying and you don't know what the fuck you should do. I was asking everyone for advice. I regret that now, it only made things worse.

If you ask people who were raised without a Dad or who are against adoption for their advice, all they're going to do is emotionally attack you and shame you into doing what they want. Keep a clear head and take some time alone to decide on what to do on your own. No one else can give you good advice.

Although people are right on how you may change your mind later. I realise now I was so scared of having a kid because I had no confidence in myself. Now that I am more confident, and understand the world better, I feel I would be the best Dad in the world. I have learnt so much about the world that I feel needs to be passed on, I feel kids are lost without someone like me. I even try to give small bits of masculine and feminine advice to young people that I teach or meet.

It bothers me that the single mum who did this, cut me out of her life during the pregnancy while I was a complete miserable mess and the little girl is now nearly 2 years old. I haven't met her and don't know her name. I'm pretty sure she is raising the kid with someone else.

I'm older, smarter now and I now think I should just show up at her house if she still lives there a completely changed man with purpose, walk straight in and find my daughter (who I imagine, if she's related to me, would be absolutely stunning).

A small part of me still thinks, "I can't do that, can I really afford to give up child support and my weekends, and have to stay in this country?", but a larger part of me truly regrets being such a loser at that time, that I couldn't see myself raising a child. And now I sort of technically have a daughter that I think about a lot but can't see.

So instead I think about it a lot and decide to do nothing as so much time has passed. I thought about asking for advice here, but seeing the responses in this thread, I'm glad I didn't to be honest. I know I was a pussy for not standing up to my ex and getting forced out of the kids life and a scumbag for finding the red pill and trying to change my mindset into "ah, fuck it, I probably dodged a bullet there". Because as I've learnt more I realise I just messed up the whole situation from the start and I don't need any more shaming, and no one can give me a realistic idea of anything I can do about this mess now anyway.

Anyway I mention this to show that there are some situations that you can end up permanantly regretting for the rest of your life. Make a firm decision to do one thing and then continue on that path until you get what you want. Don't be wishy washy and end up fucking everything up like I did.

Post: #65

(02-15-2016 09:01 AM)the Thing Wrote:  It's beyond all reason how a pregnancy thread on a red pill forum dedicated to self-improvement and mutual respect turns into a pro choice vs pro life shit storm.

I reckon it's OP who fucked and knocked up the girl in question, shouldn't it be OP who decides on what happens with the pregnancy?

Or are the pro-lifers thinking about raising this kid themselves?

No more than you're considering aborting it yourself...

OP is considering the merits of convincing her to have an abortion -> People argue that.
OP actually specifically says "I only care what people on this forum have to say" and asks for advice -> People give their advice.
Not sure what's "beyond all reason"...

Post: #66

(02-14-2016 08:20 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  Hello gentlemen, I have a question for those on this forum that have a baby momma. Can you still live a successful playboy lifestyle or is this essentially the end of my game career?


Cheers lads

Hi,
I just read the 1st 25 posts, but your game career definitely does not need not be over if you do have a kid. What matters is how you respond to having the kid, if that actually does happen.

One of the best PUAs in the world has a couple of kids and he's in his late 30s. I had another friend that had 2 kids, and he was pimping it at early 30s. If you have the kid, you can try and make the most of it to inspire you to focus on your career for a few years. And then you can still pimp it for a long long time you are so young. Find a job where you can work online so can travel. That's my advice.

I would like to know, were you wearing condoms? I've been dating the same girl for 1.5 years and last week she asked me to stop wearing plastic cause she's taking birth control. I'm still wearing them. I was raw dogging her last year but I got a bit uneasy about it and never went back on the condom use.

Others who have knocked up girls accidentally, anyone have it happen that was using condoms every time?

Post: #67

(02-15-2016 09:49 AM)RedPillUK Wrote:  Hey OP,

I was in a similiar situation, that situation was the red pill slapping me in the face.

I know you probably your mind is probably constantly worrying and you don't know what the fuck you should do. I was asking everyone for advice. I regret that now, it only made things worse.

If you ask people who were raised without a Dad or who are against adoption for their advice, all they're going to do is emotionally attack you and shame you into doing what they want. Keep a clear head and take some time alone to decide on what to do on your own. No one else can give you good advice.

Although people are right on how you may change your mind later. I realise now I was so scared of having a kid because I had no confidence in myself. Now that I am more confident, and understand the world better, I feel I would be the best Dad in the world. I have learnt so much about the world that I feel needs to be passed on, I feel kids are lost without someone like me. I even try to give small bits of masculine and feminine advice to young people that I teach or meet.

It bothers me that the single mum who did this, cut me out of her life during the pregnancy while I was a complete miserable mess and the little girl is now nearly 2 years old. I haven't met her and don't know her name. I'm pretty sure she is raising the kid with someone else.

I'm older, smarter now and I now think I should just show up at her house if she still lives there a completely changed man with purpose, walk straight in and find my daughter (who I imagine, if she's related to me, would be absolutely stunning).

A small part of me still thinks, "I can't do that, can I really afford to give up child support and my weekends, and have to stay in this country?", but a larger part of me truly regrets being such a loser at that time, that I couldn't see myself raising a child. And now I sort of technically have a daughter that I think about a lot but can't see.

So instead I think about it a lot and decide to do nothing as so much time has passed. I thought about asking for advice here, but seeing the responses in this thread, I'm glad I didn't to be honest. I know I was a pussy for not standing up to my ex and getting forced out of the kids life and a scumbag for finding the red pill and trying to change my mindset into "ah, fuck it, I probably dodged a bullet there". Because as I've learnt more I realise I just messed up the whole situation from the start and I don't need any more shaming, and no one can give me a realistic idea of anything I can do about this mess now anyway.

Anyway I mention this to show that there are some situations that you can end up permanantly regretting for the rest of your life. Make a firm decision to do one thing and then continue on that path until you get what you want. Don't be wishy washy and end up fucking everything up like I did.

Whatever you choose there will be benefits and consequences with that choice. It's natural to later look back and say, "Oh I should've done that instead", but when we do that we are not seeing all the consequences that would've come with that choice, just what we think we missed out on.

Raising a child in a dysfunctional family is very tough and it doesn't get more dysfunctional than a single Mother wanting to do it All on her own.

If she is the combative type, I don't see how it's a benefit to be in the child's life when all they will see is conflict and negativity between the parents. It wears hard on everyone's life. It sounds like she didn't want you around and if you pressed it she would've made it difficult for everyone. Life is too short as it is to spend it doing battle so you can be with your kid 4 days a month until they are 13 years old. When they become a teenager they will just want to be with their friends anyway.

Also, since you only have them 4 days/month you have zero control over them. You can't discipline a child when you don't see them often and especially when the Mother isn't going to let you control how they are raised.

There is a belief that the child is always better with the biological Father around no matter what the circumstances. I think that is ludicrous. It's much better for the child to be in an environment where there isn't constant friction, fighting, and insecurity. This isn't to say that a man shouldn't have the right to be in their child's life in some way, but think about in what way that will be? As a weekend babysitter? That's pretty much how it will be and if your ok with that and want to deal with all the negativity and conflict that will come with it then go for it.

I would say ff your child's Mother has a new guy and they are raising the child together then let them. No need to enter into conflict with a woman who's combative, especially when it will cost you dearly both financially and emotionally.

I would say just move on with your life and have a family with a woman you're going to be married too. In a situation where you will have more control of the dynamic. Very few men get to have that kind of do-over.

Post: #68

"It's beyond all reason how a pregnancy
thread on a red pill forum dedicated to self-
improvement and mutual respect turns
into a pro choice vs pro life shit storm.
I reckon it's OP who fucked and knocked up
the girl in question, shouldn't it be OP who
decides on what happens with the
pregnancy?
Or are the pro-lifers thinking about raising
this kid themselves?"


I thought this forum was about neomasculinity. I gave advice that promotes those ideals and principles. Is that wrong?

Post: #69

(02-15-2016 12:33 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

(02-15-2016 12:03 AM)Laner Wrote:  

(02-14-2016 11:42 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(02-14-2016 11:34 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

(02-14-2016 11:22 PM)Onto Wrote:  No one can say what the motivation for having an out-of-wedlock child is without knowing more about her and her childhood.

She could be doing it for good reasons or bad ones. There's not enough info given from the OP yet to know.

How many "good reasons" are there for a young girl to have a child out of wed lock?

She could be religious, or doesn't believe in abortion. I imagine being pregnant kicks in a women's maternal instincts in some way also.

People don't have sex with the expectation they are going to have a child. When people attack a man with the argument, "You should've thought of that before you had sex with her", they are ignoring this fact. It's like blaming a person who gets into a car accident that they should've thought of that before they decided to drive. Sex, like driving is just something you need to do even if there are risks that go with it. Nobody goes into either expecting an unwanted outcome.

It's a big decision for a woman to have an abortion or a child. Lots of inner-turmoil I imagine. For us we don't have to deal with that, though we are often asked to pay the price for whatever decision they make.

Absolutely. But rawdogging young girls is like driving drunk on Tequila. Fun and the risk is always for other people, never me. I am also insane in this regard, as I have rawdogged far more women than I should have, but never without knowing the possibility of what could happen.

Why does everyone assume the OP was rawdogging? He could have been using condoms religiously and she poked a hole in one for all we know.

Why does everyone assume if someone cuts his wrists that it was a suicide attempt? It could have been an accident. Chances are OP was rawdogging. Sure, the chick could have tricked her or whatever but it's nevertheless a safe assumption.

Post: #70

(02-14-2016 09:17 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  I'll say from personal experience as some whom lived a life with a mostly absent father due to his work.

Stay in your kid's life. Granted I grew up more "red pill" and more extroverted without my dad's introverted lack of interpersonal skills affecting my mentality and bogging me down, but I feel more resentment than true appreciation as I had to learn a lot about life the hard way and had to look for a father in my grandfather(I still love my father as he is family and put food in my mouth, but I can't appreciate him as a person).

If I knew my kid had that kind of resentment towards me, I don't think I would be able to sleep at night.

Getting the negative out of the way.

I imagine you'd make a smarter father than most, and the one thing I've learned from being a part of a large family due to a myriad amount of uncles and aunts(leading to a lot of younger cousins as I'm the second oldest out of all of them) is that helping make something greater than yourself is an amazing experience.

Do what you want. Travel the world. Fuck some babes, but make sure you have time for the kid. If he has big moments and accomplishes even the smallest of things. Congratulate him. If you see him slacking make sure to correct him.

A good father is a guiding force and without him you don't know what hell he might end up in. I was pretty close to hell myself before I was forced to correct myself, and you don't want your kid to risk that because family is family. Raise him smart. I do believe you can do it.

Post: #71

Update to those interested (as well as my responses to some questions that were directed towards me) -

- The woman is 22 as well. She is half Russian half Armenian in descent. Her mother is Armenian and is Muslim. So she is the one saying there is no way she can get an abortion due to religious reasons.

- The main question I was asking, in case it was a little bit unclear, is that if its possible to simply pay her child support monthly and have the child out of my sight and therefore out of my mind. What I'm worried about is me getting an attachment to the child, then suddenly getting into a heartbreaking custody battle of sorts.

- for background on this girl: She is not the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Period. She's a good girl and I wish her the best but I do not want to be with her for the rest of my life. She is certainly in love with me and I simply cannot reciprocate those feelings. Therefore I feel like she is keeping this child as a way to keep a part of me. I think she knows deep down that she can never have me to herself and she knows I fuck a lot of other girls on the side (she doesn't know she's in a harem; she thinks she's my girl and I just "cheat" from time to time).

and for the ultimate update:
I convinced her an abortion is the best decision for me, her, as well as the child. I am going to pay for it 100% (if there are any costs associated, im not quite sure) and I will take a few days off work to be there with her to support her and take care of her after the abortion. As for her mother, she is going to tell her she had an unfortunate miscarriage and thats that.
I am not going to celebrate just yet, because women can be change their minds like the wind. So I'm holding off that until the day I take her to the clinic. She is a level headed girl (as far as females go) and she works as a nurse so I have a pretty good feeling she will in fact go through with this.

For those that have responded with advice, thank you. I am 22 and I know there are more esteemed members on this forum that have been in my exact shoes and I made this post hoping to hear their input.

For the holier than thou high-and-mighty "man-up" closet feminists: your judgement was of no help whatsoever. Next time, leave those kind of comments for a Dr. OZ message forums where you will induce many "feel good" feelings among fat single mothers.
This is a forum of red-pill men. Get your heads out of your asses and act accordingly.

Cheers lads

Post: #72

(02-15-2016 07:45 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  For those that have responded with advice, thank you. I am 22 and I know there are more esteemed members on this forum that have been in my exact shoes and I made this post hoping to hear their input.

For the holier than thou high-and-mighty "man-up" closet feminists: your judgement was of no help whatsoever. Next time, leave those kind of comments for a Dr. OZ message forums where you will induce many "feel good" feelings among fat single mothers.
This is a forum of red-pill men. Get your heads out of your asses and act accordingly.

Cheers lads

Age has nothing to do with responsibility or behavior. There may be some correlation but it isn't perfect. The fact that you had to take some parting shot because you feel that you were judged or shamed may indicate that you are very far from being red pill. Feedback is feedback, you put yourself out there and asked for input. Then because you didn't like what you heard you had to be a bitch and say something to make yourself feel better. You can say that about me if you want but if you check my history, I try to be cordial and level headed. Red pill is not about bitching when your feelings are hurt. You sound like a thin skinned millennial punk.

Edit: If you were going to reject anything that didn't make you feel better, what was the point of posting? Growth comes from discomfort. Not from comfort.

Post: #73

I haven't even commented on this thread so far, but you started a thread asking for advice based on the firm fact that she's keeping the child:

OP Wrote:She is adamant about keeping it and as we all know, you cannot change a woman's mind with logic and reasoning - for better or for worse.

With a focus on what your life would be like if you kept your role as a father to a minimum:

OP Wrote:I am considering simply writing her a child support cheque every month and ever seeing the kid - out of sight out of mind type of thing.
For those that have had girls get pregnant, can you personally attest to this strategy working?

Then, after easily convincing her to get an abortion - something that you assured everyone that was not an option at the very beginning - you decide to insult people for "being of no help whatsoever".

I'm honestly glad this turned out for you and I have zero regrets for her or the baby, but taking cheap shots at people who gave you genuine advice that you asked for is really some chutzpah.

Post: #74

I'm more upset that I feel the "advice" I was given from some members wasn't true to their heart advice.
But rather something to say to garner "feel good" moral brownie points as well as receive a high number of "likes" on their post.

Both HCE and samsamsam are posters that I highly respect and look up to. I wish not to be in your bad graces.
I purely just think some of the responses were here simply to shame me and look morally superior than actually give me advice to apply.

Post: #75

(02-15-2016 08:22 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  I'm more upset that I feel the "advice" I was given from some members wasn't true to their heart advice.
But rather something to say to garner "feel good" moral brownie points as well as receive a high number of "likes" on their post.

Both HCE and samsamsam are posters that I highly respect and look up to. I wish not to be in your bad graces.
I purely just think some of the responses were here simply to shame me and look morally superior than actually give me advice to apply.

Everyone is on their life journey. Some people do get their joy from acting better than you. That is their journey to figure out why that matters to them.

Then the flip side is maybe what they said came from a good place, but because of the way you are/were currently feeling/experiencing it struck you as morale judgement.

Mix in the fact that this is written text, it isn't like you can hear the person's voice and sense where they are coming from. It is one of the drawbacks of the internet.

Without trying to sound any better (because I am not), and just trying to share some of my life experience, sometimes you can't swing at the pitch. It seems like a mantra of mine since I have posted it a few times on this forum. There are plenty of times where my ego is screaming at me to throw an internet punch, but another voice goes "why?".

Emotional control is a huge thing that separates people. And I am not trying to come down on you in this post. The other one yes I am not saying you do not have emotional control, you have probably gone through a huge roller coaster of emotions. Fear, anger, joy, sadness, etc. I can imagine this experience has been quite draining. And maybe from a life's growth perspective, all of this (everything that has been discussed on this thread) will be a building block to support you in your life if you can find the silver lining(s).

Hang in there and congrats on the news.

Edit: The one thing about feedback is you do get a different perspectives and sometimes there will be something you read/hear that actually resonates with you. We are all different so no feedback is perfectly tailored to each of us. Likewise, (hypothetically) no one who gives you advice will ever really be on the hook if you choose to act on it and it goes bad. But, I think we all know what works for us when we hear it. We just need to filter through it all to see what aligns with who we are. I sure hope this all made sense. No I am not on a recreational drug at the moment