Post: #101

(02-16-2016 07:05 PM)Onto Wrote:  It wasn't until I was older I realized it wasn't the fact my Father wasn't around that was the negative.

The negative was I had a crazy, self-indulgent, alcoholic, feminist Mother around who was self-absorbed in her own career and drinking.

If you think about it logically, if someone isn't there how can they have such a great affect on your life? It stands to reason the parent who actually is there has all the affect. For good or bad.

The modern day media however ignores all this, gives the single Mom a pass, and says the reason why the fucked up kids are fucked up is because the Father wasn't around. It couldn't possibly be because of who the Mother was.

Mother's are sacred to boys. Even as adults, men have a very hard time seeing fault with their Mother so the absentee Father makes the perfect scapegoat for all that childhood negativity.

I'm not saying having a good Father around isn't a great benefit. It absolutely is. However, much of the power a good Father would need in order to do his job has been stripped away by the courts. How can you raise a good kid if you are just a weekend babysitter, who has no disciplinary reach over their child. Who's Mother is constantly trying to undermine and relativize you.

I just wanted to draw attention to your post, because there is a LOT of wisdom in it that several members here need to digest.

I will also say this: I lost my mother at a young age (8 years old). While growing up without a mother was hard, it wasn't until adulthood that I realized the full effects of it. Anyone who loses a parent has some really fucked up emotional baggage because of it, and it will drastically affect your view of the world and the opposite sex. Those of you who grew up without fathers, I encourage you to do some real soul searching. Because if you're over 21 and still feel emotional about the fact that your dad wasn't around, you need to get your shit together. I say this out of love, because it wasn't until I was well into being a man that I finally came to terms with my mothers death. I know it's hard, and I know you want to blame your father for not being around, but you're not doing yourself any favors by continuing to let what happened over a decade ago affect your thinking or perception today.

Let it go guys. Just let it go.

Post: #102

(02-16-2016 08:41 PM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

(02-16-2016 07:05 PM)Onto Wrote:  It wasn't until I was older I realized it wasn't the fact my Father wasn't around that was the negative.

The negative was I had a crazy, self-indulgent, alcoholic, feminist Mother around who was self-absorbed in her own career and drinking.

If you think about it logically, if someone isn't there how can they have such a great affect on your life? It stands to reason the parent who actually is there has all the affect. For good or bad.

The modern day media however ignores all this, gives the single Mom a pass, and says the reason why the fucked up kids are fucked up is because the Father wasn't around. It couldn't possibly be because of who the Mother was.

Mother's are sacred to boys. Even as adults, men have a very hard time seeing fault with their Mother so the absentee Father makes the perfect scapegoat for all that childhood negativity.

I'm not saying having a good Father around isn't a great benefit. It absolutely is. However, much of the power a good Father would need in order to do his job has been stripped away by the courts. How can you raise a good kid if you are just a weekend babysitter, who has no disciplinary reach over their child. Who's Mother is constantly trying to undermine and relativize you.

I just wanted to draw attention to your post, because there is a LOT of wisdom in it that several members here need to digest.

I will also say this: I lost my mother at a young age (8 years old). While growing up without a mother was hard, it wasn't until adulthood that I realized the full effects of it. Anyone who loses a parent has some really fucked up emotional baggage because of it, and it will drastically affect your view of the world and the opposite sex. Those of you who grew up without fathers, I encourage you to do some real soul searching. Because if you're over 21 and still feel emotional about the fact that your dad wasn't around, you need to get your shit together. I say this out of love, because it wasn't until I was well into being a man that I finally came to terms with my mothers death. I know it's hard, and I know you want to blame your father for not being around, but you're not doing yourself any favors by continuing to let what happened over a decade ago affect your thinking or perception today.

Let it go guys. Just let it go.

Slightly derailed, but I agree completely. A friend of mine growing up in school had his Dad die of cancer when he was about 10. This guy aged from 10 to 30 overnight and was a serious and somber guy. Coolest guy I know, but literally had his childhood erased and it gravely affected him.

Post: #103

In this same vein of excellent thought, would not this type of thinking be due to the immaturity of the parents who began the cycle?

As I stated in an earlier post, having a mother and father in their best able capacity, raise their children with all the skills available, is the best way to give the next generation a chance.

Having a missing mother or father is certainly a handicap. A mother even more so I would think. But after whole a whole generation which was raised without much fatherhood, now raising their own children, its even more important for men like us to break this shitty cycle. Divorce begets divorce, and so on.

Is anyone here even surprised anymore that grown men need safe spaces in university? Trigger warnings? PTSD from micro aggression? Tell me with a straight face that this shit would exist for a generation that had good fathering.

Post: #104

(02-16-2016 08:58 PM)Laner Wrote:  In this same vein of excellent thought, would not this type of thinking be due to the immaturity of the parents who began the cycle?

As I stated in an earlier post, having a mother and father in their best able capacity, raise their children with all the skills available, is the best way to give the next generation a chance.

Having a missing mother or father is certainly a handicap. A mother even more so I would think. But after whole a whole generation which was raised without much fatherhood, now raising their own children, its even more important for men like us to break this shitty cycle. Divorce begets divorce, and so on.

Is anyone here even surprised anymore that grown men need safe spaces in university? Trigger warnings? PTSD from micro aggression? Tell me with a straight face that this shit would exist for a generation that had good fathering.

This is EXACTLY why I advocate abortion is CERTAIN circumstances.

Yes, as men we DO have a responsibility to do the right thing. We SHOULD wear condoms. In a perfect world, women who weren't fit to be mothers would never get pregnant, especially not by us.

Yet, on the other end of the spectrum is this: Women are the gatekeepers of sex. They dictate the how, when, where and why of the mating dance. In the modern day, there is 0 excuse for a woman to be raising a child by herself.

It's up to WOMEN to screen and qualify men the sleep with. This is the largest reason women in the past (pre-1950) weren't raging whores: NOT because of feminism, NOT because of iPhones, but because if they fucked the wrong guy and got pregnant, their life was effectively over.

The invention of birth control, and to a lesser degree, child support and welfare, invented the slut. Because women are able to fuck as many men "consequence free", they don't have to think about the quality of man they sleep with, nor what happens afterwards.

All this is a long-winded way of saying: If she got pregnant, it's her fault, and it's her problem. Women have a HUGE range of solutions to pregnancy: Birth control, condoms, celibacy, only sleeping with a man they are married to or in a VERY committed relationship with, abortion, and adoption.

Men do not have these options. So for the men here saying: "You did the crime, you do the time.", I want you to understand you're essentially advocating men be thrown in jail (sometimes LITERALLY) for getting a girl pregnant. No if's, ands, or buts. If that's honestly how you feel, I REALLY hope you get some slut you don't even like pregnant one day. Karmas a bitch, and we'll see how long you stick to the moral high-ground when that day arrives.

I definitely believe you should do everything you can to help her make the right choice for everyone involved, and raising a kid with a woman who isn't fit to be a mother, who you don't even like, is NOT in the childs best interest, period. For those of you saying "But how would you feel if you were that child?" Guess what? If I was that child, I'd be dead! I wouldn't have any feelings, pain, remorse, regrets, etc. I'd be perfectly fine! The closest thing one can imagine to being dead is sleeping, and I love to sleep. Never having to deal with any pain in life really wouldn't be all that bad. And even if it is terrible, guess what? You wouldn't have anything to compare it to anyways.

TL;DR

Women are responsible for their bodies, dead people don't feel anything, good bad or indifferent.

Post: #105

I think it was Laner that mentioned it earlier, but a lesson for guys to take away from this is wrap it up if you want the best chance to avoid this circumstance. Guys aren't knocking up girls because "poked holes" in condoms. You raw dog regularly you are always taking a chance. Only you can decide if it's worth it. These days, for me, it is not.

Post: #106

(02-17-2016 12:29 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  I think it was Laner that mentioned it earlier, but a lesson for guys to take away from this is wrap it up if you want the best chance to avoid this circumstance. Guys aren't knocking up girls because "poked holes" in condoms. You raw dog regularly you are always taking a chance, it's not rocket science. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

That's the second time someone brought this up.

I mentioned that because the OP never said he was raw-dogging this girl. Condoms DO break, for those who never use them.

And women DO poke holes in condoms....I believe there's even a thread about it here somewhere.

Anyways, I wasn't arguing that was what happened....only that we shouldn't ASSUME he was raw-dogging without evidence.

Post: #107

(02-16-2016 01:45 PM)Laner Wrote:  Im pretty sure the OP has bowed out of this thread now and it comes down to exposing the anger of a newly red pill man. I have seen this dozens of times over the years.

When a mans first thought on pregnancy is: Cheating, not my kid, lying about pregnancy, poked holes in condom, etc he is still in the first stage of the red pill.

Most of the solid advice on this thread comes from men who are confident in their ability to bang a better woman, and if she does get pregnant are not running screaming about getting cheated by some lying bitch. The earliest fundamentals of getting beyond this type of thinking is knowing that women are not our enemies. They have their own agendas, and we have ours and getting angry does nothing but pull us into their agenda. If young men feel the need to "win" against women, the best way is to build a solid business, be with quality women, and to guide the next generation of men (and women if you have a family).

Cobra talks of experience and it is exactly this. Its just a shame that young men see everything as an attack on their fragile egos. Many can't even stand to be wrong as its meant to shame them? I get it, a young man can find information on anything now days, and feels just as smart as a man who is 40. Yet they lack the experience until they themselves try and fail and try again, finding what works best for them- and only them.

I'm still here. Haven't had the time to comment.

Post: #108

(02-17-2016 12:36 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 12:29 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  I think it was Laner that mentioned it earlier, but a lesson for guys to take away from this is wrap it up if you want the best chance to avoid this circumstance. Guys aren't knocking up girls because "poked holes" in condoms. You raw dog regularly you are always taking a chance, it's not rocket science. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

I mentioned that because the OP never said he was raw-dogging this girl. Condoms DO break, for those who never use them.

And women DO poke holes in condoms....I believe there's even a thread about it here somewhere.

Absolutely, those things can happen, and apparently one did in the OP's case.

But, lets not pretend that's how most pregnancies are happening.

My point is more general, that the far more likely way you'll end up in this unfortunate scenario is by raw dogging regularly, and thus the best way to prevent it is wrapping up. Condoms breaking, poked holes etc are things mostly out of your control. Putting on a rubber in the first place is the best prevention.

Post: #109

^
she is on the birth-control pill. She was not sexually active before meeting me and she was not taking it as religiously as she should have been. At least that was the answer I got when I asked "how are you pregnant? You said you were on birth control"

Post: #110

(02-17-2016 12:47 AM)The_e_man Wrote:  ^
she is on the birth-control pill. She was not sexually active before meeting me and she was not taking it as religiously as she should have been. At least that was the answer I got when I asked "how are you pregnant? You said you were on birth control"

To me, a girl not taking her birth control as directed is JUST as bad as poking holes in the condoms.

It's willful negligence. SOME part of her WANTED to get pregnant. I know I would never "forget" something that important.

Post: #111

(02-17-2016 12:47 AM)The_e_man Wrote:  ^
she is on the birth-control pill. She was not sexually active before meeting me and she was not taking it as religiously as she should have been. At least that was the answer I got when I asked "how are you pregnant? You said you were on birth control"

There it is, a good lesson for other men why relying on the woman to ensure your protection is unfortunately not a safe bet. The pill can fail or be forgotten. It's shitty this happened.

I sympathize with you man, and I hope that no matter what the outcome is you come out of it well.

Post: #112

(02-17-2016 12:51 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 12:47 AM)The_e_man Wrote:  ^
she is on the birth-control pill. She was not sexually active before meeting me and she was not taking it as religiously as she should have been. At least that was the answer I got when I asked "how are you pregnant? You said you were on birth control"

There it is, a good lesson for other men why relying on the woman to ensure your protection is unfortunately not a safe bet. The pill can fail or be forgotten. It's shitty this happened.

I sympathize with you man, and I hope that no matter what the outcome is you come out of it well.

And yet there will STILL be men who defend this woman, "for the sake of the child". Fuck that. Abort it and it will never have any pain, regret, or sadness that goes along with having a fucked up mother. Problem solved.

Just my 2 cents. If OP decided he wanted to be a father, I'd support that too. And if he decided to move to Russia and never pay her a dime or see his kid, I'd support him still. As long as he is honest and upfront with the girl about his intentions, she has all the knowledge needed to make an informed decision. If she wants to fuck up her life, that's on HER.

Post: #113

(02-17-2016 12:57 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 12:51 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 12:47 AM)The_e_man Wrote:  ^
she is on the birth-control pill. She was not sexually active before meeting me and she was not taking it as religiously as she should have been. At least that was the answer I got when I asked "how are you pregnant? You said you were on birth control"

There it is, a good lesson for other men why relying on the woman to ensure your protection is unfortunately not a safe bet. The pill can fail or be forgotten. It's shitty this happened.

I sympathize with you man, and I hope that no matter what the outcome is you come out of it well.

And yet there will STILL be men who defend this woman, "for the sake of the child". Fuck that. Abort it and it will never have any pain, regret, or sadness that goes along with having a fucked up mother. Problem solved.

Just my 2 cents. If OP decided he wanted to be a father, I'd support that too. And if he decided to move to Russia and never pay her a dime or see his kid, I'd support him still. As long as he is honest and upfront with the girl about his intentions, she has all the knowledge needed to make an informed decision. If she wants to fuck up her life, that's on HER.

My only point was about wrapping it up. I haven't read all of the comments or the line of discussion going on.

Having said that, I'm of the opinion we don't need more fatherless children in this society. If she has the kid, I hope it is raised in the best possible surroundings, including a loving father.

But, only the OP and the girl can decide whats best for them.

Post: #114

(02-17-2016 12:50 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 12:47 AM)The_e_man Wrote:  ^
she is on the birth-control pill. She was not sexually active before meeting me and she was not taking it as religiously as she should have been. At least that was the answer I got when I asked "how are you pregnant? You said you were on birth control"

To me, a girl not taking her birth control as directed is JUST as bad as poking holes in the condoms.

It's willful negligence. SOME part of her WANTED to get pregnant. I know I would never "forget" something that important.

EXACTLY.

Would you trust your woman to go to work for you and do a job interview that makes or breaks the next 20 years of your career?

Would you trust your woman to go to court for you and mount a defense for you on rape charges that could land you 18 years in jail?

No?

Then WHY would you trust a woman to take a pill that can otherwise fuck up the next 18 years of your life?

these are things I would have told my younger self.

Post: #115

(02-17-2016 12:43 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 12:36 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 12:29 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  I think it was Laner that mentioned it earlier, but a lesson for guys to take away from this is wrap it up if you want the best chance to avoid this circumstance. Guys aren't knocking up girls because "poked holes" in condoms. You raw dog regularly you are always taking a chance, it's not rocket science. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

I mentioned that because the OP never said he was raw-dogging this girl. Condoms DO break, for those who never use them.

And women DO poke holes in condoms....I believe there's even a thread about it here somewhere.

Absolutely, those things can happen, and apparently one did in the OP's case.

But, lets not pretend that's how most pregnancies are happening.

My point is more general, that the far more likely way you'll end up in this unfortunate scenario is by raw dogging regularly, and thus the best way to prevent it is wrapping up. Condoms breaking, poked holes etc are things mostly out of your control. Putting on a rubber in the first place is the best prevention.

Raw sex and blasting deep inside a young, beautiful woman is the gold standard of sex. No man will ever deny this.

Whether or not this is what a man does every time, or just under unique circumstances does not matter. Every time a condom is slapped on the experience goes down from there.

But every time a condom is not used, make no mistake any man with a brain knows the potential consequences. NEVER let a woman make such decisions for you, which you are every time you believe her about birth control.

Post: #116

(02-17-2016 12:47 AM)The_e_man Wrote:  she is on the birth-control pill. She was not sexually active before meeting me and she was not taking it as religiously as she should have been. At least that was the answer I got when I asked "how are you pregnant? You said you were on birth control"

Whenever you have the mindset of what a female should be doing, rather than what she is really doing then you will set yourself up for disappointment.
If you expect a woman to act a certain way, or do(or not do) a certain thing then it's up to you to ensure and verify that's what happens.
Think of them like children that are fun to be around, but need constant supervision and guidance.

Post: #117

(02-15-2016 07:45 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  ...and for the ultimate update:
I convinced her an abortion is the best decision for me, her, as well as the child....

I'm not sure the child would agree that this was the best outcome...

Post: #118

WFI, sorry to hear about your Mother. That's one of the worst things that can happen to a child.

I think we should get off the abortion debate. It's useless for us men to discuss something we have no control over. e_man didn't convince her to do anything. She's a grown woman and made her own decision out of her own self-interest. To think otherwise is a false state of self-importance.

Women have the right to choose to have a baby or not, and I don't believe it's something we have the right to interfere with. However, it's illegitimate to choose what you want in life, but make others pay the price for it. This is why I'm against pauperizing child support laws. Especially when there was no planned pregnancy/marriage involved.

Abortion is a choice for women to struggle with. Fatherhood is a choice for men to struggle with.

Saying to just use a condom isn't practical. People want the real. It's why you can give those condoms out for free at High School's and no one is interested in them.

If western laws were such that they gave real power to men over the raising of their child and over the money involved we would see a very different picture in the modern-day family landscape. Men would develop inwardly by stepping up to the plate and growing into the Father. It would be a trans-formative event for them. Those who shy away from it would miss out and be shamed by society.

As such, it's not that way today. Modern day laws have stripped men of choice. They have taken away the opportunity to "choose" to develop into the Father. I say we've been robbed of it because when the government forcibly takes your money, and your power over the child then you are left with nothing. It's a symbolic castration of one of the most important moments in masculine development there is.

Today instead of shaming men for not taking responsibility, we shame them for not wanting to be sent to the slaughterhouse. To be a servant under the thumb of a woman and her government.

I think those who suggest to simply fight for sole custody, be the man and make it how you want it to be, has never been in an American court. I have tried and it was a complete failure. When I wanted to take it to the next level my lawyer said, "Do you have $100,000?" Of course it would've been just pissing more money away.

Sure, there are exceptions, but the rule is men lose. I would think the countless posts here on the forum about false rape allegations, sexual harassment, and all the rest would be enough for those to see what the modern-day courts attitude is towards men when it comes to going up against women.

Like another member commented above. Go out there and knock up some random girl you're not in love with, who is a self-absorbed, animus-possessed, entitled, modern day woman who has an ax to grind with the Patriarchy.....and let us know how it goes.

Post: #119

So she got the abortion? In light of the fact that she said she was on the pill but sometimes 'forgetting' to take it, that is probably the best course of action, that is just being irresponsible, if she is irresponsible and reckless as a parent, you don't want her raising a kid with you.

Post: #120

(02-17-2016 02:22 AM)Laner Wrote:  But every time a condom is not used, make no mistake any man with a brain knows the potential consequences. NEVER let a woman make such decisions for you, which you are every time you believe her about birth control.

Finally some guys talking some sense.

Here's my addition:

If there was a male pill and you had to take it every day within a few hour window in order for it to be nearly 100% effective would you trust YOURSELF to do this with utter consistency?

I know that I wouldn't even trust myself with that task, why would I trust anyone else with that task? It's easy to forget to take a pill. This is why I use condoms in addition to my girl being on birth control. Can't wait for Vasalgel.

Post: #121

(02-17-2016 03:31 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 02:22 AM)Laner Wrote:  But every time a condom is not used, make no mistake any man with a brain knows the potential consequences. NEVER let a woman make such decisions for you, which you are every time you believe her about birth control.

Finally some guys talking some sense.

Here's my addition:

If there was a male pill and you had to take it every day within a few hour window in order for it to be nearly 100% effective would you trust YOURSELF to do this with utter consistency?

I know that I wouldn't even trust myself with that task, why would I trust anyone else with that task? It's easy to forget to take a pill. This is why I use condoms in addition to my girl being on birth control. Can't wait for Vasalgel.

Yes, I would.

If a diabetic can stick a damn needle multiple times a day, I sure as hell can take a pill.

There's tons of people taking medication daily because they need it and those meds in a great deal of occasions are 'life savers'. Some broad not taking her birth control because she 'forgot it' can be life ruining.

Totally agree on using a rubber. No rubber = no bang.

Post: #122

(02-17-2016 03:31 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 02:22 AM)Laner Wrote:  But every time a condom is not used, make no mistake any man with a brain knows the potential consequences. NEVER let a woman make such decisions for you, which you are every time you believe her about birth control.

Finally some guys talking some sense.

Here's my addition:

If there was a male pill and you had to take it every day within a few hour window in order for it to be nearly 100% effective would you trust YOURSELF to do this with utter consistency?

I know that I wouldn't even trust myself with that task, why would I trust anyone else with that task? It's easy to forget to take a pill. This is why I use condoms in addition to my girl being on birth control. Can't wait for Vasalgel.

I agree Onto, lets all segway off the abortion topic. I think everyone has said their piece.

Ocean: Yes, I would trust myself to take it everday within a few hours. With smartphones, theres no excuse to forget this shit. Just set an alarm to go off everday. My phone is ALWAYS on me. When the alarm goes off, take the pill. Very simple, and not hard to do. Children can do this.

Post: #123

I know some diabetics who are high status, high functioning and have an amazing amount of responsibility in their daily lives.

How many times have they had to buy their pills 'on the road' because they have forgotten their medication? Plenty.

People's brains can easily overlook the most important things at the worst of times. Birth control is hardly life and death like insulin is, but its still important enough that I have had girls panic about forgetting the pill on a weekend away.

Even more likely, is they get sloppier the more in love they get. Not purposely for most, but enough that I often get "dont cum in me, I fucked up my BC cycle".

But yeah, these women have never forgotten their phone. Ever.

Post: #124

If I read your last post right, you "convinced" her that an abortion was the right choice. I hope this is true.

I am in favor of abortion ONLY in 3 cases:
1) The father isn't around. We have enough kids raised without fathers, we don't need more.
2) One of the 2 parents isn't ready or has insufficient resources to raise a child.
3) The child is "different" or "special", e.g. a deformed kid.

In your case, since you are far from ready to being a father, abortion was the right choice. Sure you could have paid child support, but it would be a waste of resources and time. The kid needs the presence of his father, not a child support check in the mail. That's why many countries still have laws such as "no marriage, no child support". This is in place to make sure that kids are wanted.

This is good of you to pay for the abortion. It is a one-time investment payment to avoid 18-year mortgage payments down the road.

Post: #125

(02-17-2016 08:04 AM)Onto Wrote:  However, it's illegitimate to choose what you want in life, but make others pay the price for it. This is why I'm against pauperizing child support laws. Especially when there was no planned pregnancy/marriage involved.

Saying to just use a condom isn't practical. People want the real.

If western laws were such that they gave real power to men over the raising of their child and over the money involved we would see a very different picture in the modern-day family landscape. Men would develop inwardly by stepping up to the plate and growing into the Father. It would be a trans-formative event for them. Those who shy away from it would miss out and be shamed by society.

As such, it's not that way today. Modern day laws have stripped men of choice. They have taken away the opportunity to "choose" to develop into the Father. I say we've been robbed of it because when the government forcibly takes your money, and your power over the child then you are left with nothing. It's a symbolic castration of one of the most important moments in masculine development there is.

Today instead of shaming men for not taking responsibility, we shame them for not wanting to be sent to the slaughterhouse. To be a servant under the thumb of a woman and her government.

I think those who suggest to simply fight for sole custody, be the man and make it how you want it to be, has never been in an American court. I have tried and it was a complete failure. When I wanted to take it to the next level my lawyer said, "Do you have $100,000?" Of course it would've been just pissing more money away.

Sure, there are exceptions, but the rule is men lose. I would think the countless posts here on the forum about false rape allegations, sexual harassment, and all the rest would be enough for those to see what the modern-day courts attitude is towards men when it comes to going up against women.

Like another member commented above. Go out there and knock up some random girl you're not in love with, who is a self-absorbed, animus-possessed, entitled, modern day woman who has an ax to grind with the Patriarchy.....and let us know how it goes.

You are speaking a lot of truth here, Onto.

I really appreciate your words, because this is very much my experience. It happened to me, and I discovered firsthand the way things really work in America's family court system. After going through the system, I became more concerned with not becoming penniless myself, and not being jailed if I couldn't keep up with the court-ordered child support, than with growing into fatherhood.

To make matters worse, every time my business grew, the mother would go to court to pursue, and get, a higher amount of child support. The problem was, my business is cyclical, and I had some very bad years. The system did not care about that, and always denied my requests to lower support during tough financial times.

It would be a much fairer system, if men had the one-time election option early-on, to agree to provide lifetime child support or not, rather than being forced. Personally, that one change would have made a huge positive difference in my life, and the life of my son. My entire mindset would have been different. Instead of thinking about what the court was going to stick me with next, I could have focused more energy on providing the maximum I could at that time to my son, in both dollars and time spent, without fear that level of financial support would then become mandatory.

Also, giving men the option early-on to agree to provide lifetime child support or not, would encourage women to carefully consider the men they choose to have sex with, and whom they choose to have a child with.

Alternatively, if it is politically impossible to change the law to allow men the option of agreeing to child support or not, then child support should be set at a low amount. Something like $500/month maximum, not $1,400/month. This should be an amount that is in-line with the actual needs of the child, rather than being backdoor transfer payments to the mother.

Personally, I now take Gandarusa tablets to help prevent more unintended pregnancies. I await Vasalgel very eagerly. I considered having a vasectomy, but I may want kids in the future. Also, the complication rate for vasectomies may be higher than the stated 1%, according to some research.

I dislike condoms, to the point that I prefer to not even have sex, rather than wear one. This obviously has many implications. For instance, to reduce my STD risk, I stick with just a handful of high-quality women, and avoid promiscuous women. To reduce pregnancy risk, I pull-out, take Gandarusa, and choose women with a good sense of responsibility and no children. After I have been with a woman a long time, and she has proven to be trustworthy and responsible, and is on birth control, I will blow deep inside. It's always a risk. But it is what I live for. It has come back to haunt me many times. As soon as Vasalgel or RISUG is available and proven, I will be getting it.

On the bright side, getting a kid is better than getting AIDS. So I am grateful for that! Rather than wishing for different laws, that don't seem to be coming any time soon, we just have to make the best of the current state of society. For most men, that means wear a condom. For me, it means always being at risk of an unexpected $300,000 child support bill, and plenty of unwanted government interference, every time I blow inside. It means that no matter how hot a girl is, if she would be a shit Mom, I must factor this in to my thrusting equation. I'm not always so good at that last part. I'm still sometimes a sucker for a hottie, even if she comes with a side of loco.