Post: #1

Hallelujah the forum is back up!

I got hit with a doozy last night and would really like some reassurance about something.

So, about a year and a half ago this chick I was FBs with got pregnant (I'm almost certain it was me) and had an abortion. It happened without me knowing at all until two weeks later, she shows up drunk on my doorstep balling her eyes out and I hear the full story. I was obviously sympathetic and I comforted her and also offered to pay her back for half of it, but she declined. And I thought that was the end of that

We stayed on pretty good terms and had even planned to meet up when I was travelling through her hometown this summer (didn't happen though)

Then last night, out of nowhere she starts fucking insulting me and threatening to sue me for half of what the abortion cost. I just wanted to see if you guys had any definitive answers on whether she's got a case or not. I went to this shitty free legal advice place today who were pretty useless. The only detail that has me mildly worried is that I offered to pay before, I don't know if that could be considered a verbal contract or some shit. I stupidly texted her yesterday when she was going on about not helping her, that I did offer to pay. So if it matters, she probably screenshotted it. Anyway, would really appreciate some advice fellas.

Also, sorry for the misleading thread title, couldn't think of a better way to word it

Post: #2

Cut off contact and consult an actual attorney if you can. Don't admit to anything. She has no proof it was ever yours. Hope you didn't text back and forth about any of this. I'd avoid discussing any details on here as well.

Edit: Looks like you did put it in writing, but I would still take my advice.

Do you have any proof she actually got an abortion? She could be trolling for fast $$$

Post: #3

Your first mistake was keeping in contact with this girl constantly after the abortion.

Unless she's an LTR I'd of played the fadeaway game. You had over a year to do so.

Sounds like she was drunk or a had a breakdown about the abortion.


Don't reply, especially after she said she wants to sue you.


Source: A guy who had to deal with an abortion with an LTR.


EDIT: How much was the abortion anyways ?

Post: #4

How much does she know about you?

-Does she know where you live?
-Does she know your full name?
-Does she know where you work?
-Does she have your Facebook?
-Does she know your real phone number?

If she doesn't know any of this fuck her. You offered and she declined.

If she knows any one of those things then she can find you and you might as well pay it just to end the situation.

Either way I would cut contact and I'm sure at this moment she is probably behind on a bill or ran into some trouble and just needs the money.

Post: #5

How much does an abortion even cost?

Post: #6

(09-08-2015 03:57 PM)Gmac Wrote:  Cut off contact and consult an actual attorney if you can. Don't admit to anything. She has no proof it was ever yours. Hope you didn't text back and forth about any of this. I'd avoid discussing any details on here as well.

Edit: Looks like you did put it in writing, but I would still take my advice.

Do you have any proof she actually got an abortion? She could be trolling for fast $$$

Strong advice.

Little people shit themselves when you start talking about lawyering up, especially if they know you have the $$$ to do it properly.

Post: #7

(09-08-2015 03:57 PM)Gmac Wrote:  Cut off contact and consult an actual attorney if you can. Don't admit to anything. She has no proof it was ever yours. Hope you didn't text back and forth about any of this. I'd avoid discussing any details on here as well.

Edit: Looks like you did put it in writing, but I would still take my advice.

Do you have any proof she actually got an abortion? She could be trolling for fast $$$

I don't really know what goes down in an abortion clinic but she claims they have a sample and that they keep it for five years. So I guess a DNA test would prove things. I've never seen the paperwork but she says she has it and I believe her, she was a fucking wreck the night she came to my house. Talking about how she killed our kid

(09-08-2015 03:58 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Your first mistake was keeping in contact with this girl constantly after the abortion.

Unless she's an LTR I'd of played the fadeaway game. You had over a year to do so.

Sounds like she was drunk or a had a breakdown about the abortion.


Don't reply, especially after she said she wants to sue you.


Source: A guy who had to deal with an abortion with an LTR.


EDIT: How much was the abortion anyways ?

Yeah I know I fucked up but this was back in my super beta days and she was the first girl I ever slept with. We didn't really keep up that much, just text every now and again, I've only seen her once since it happened and that was just bumping into her on campus. We were gonna meet this summer cause I was spending a few days where she's from this summer and its in the middle of nowhere so it was a rare occurence for her. She's said a few times she wanted to talk about it (which we haven't since she was drunk) but its never happened, so I thought that was happening this summer. I've always felt bad about her having to go through it alone (obviously that's a very hard thing to do), not anyfucking more though

(09-08-2015 03:59 PM)realologist Wrote:  How much does she know about you?

-Does she know where you live?
-Does she know your full name?
-Does she know where you work?
-Does she have your Facebook?
-Does she know your real phone number?

If she doesn't know any of this fuck her. You offered and she declined.

If she knows any one of those things then she can find you and you might as well pay it just to end the situation.

Either way I would cut contact and I'm sure at this moment she is probably behind on a bill or ran into some trouble and just needs the money.

She has all of it but I blocked her on facebook this morning

(09-08-2015 04:09 PM)iop890 Wrote:  How much does an abortion even cost?

She's claiming $1000, but I've had a few people say that's not very believable. She said it was because she went to some private expensive clinic or something, she was super paranoid about her parents finding out. I honestly believe her on that point, her parents are loaded so it was probably chump change to her

Honestly, I think this is her trying to punish me for not being as into her as she is into me. Because this chick was obsessed with me. Its retarded but I think the thing that set her off was that I didn't wish her happy birthday, she kept texting me "wish me happy birthday asshole". I'm assuming it was recently hah

It seems like she is finally just snapping because I don't really care about her and she finally realized

I was hoping one of you would just come right out and say it but nobody has mentioned this yet. I thought men were not financially responsible for a woman's abortion. Is this not true?

Post: #8

Men aren't financially responsible (at least in the states) - I paid for half of it because it was with my LTR.

$1000 isn't believable at all, maybe even steep for a private clinic, sounds like she's trying to make some quick cash and emotionally blackmail you.

I'm never heard of a clinic keeping a sample of the abortion, that sounds odd.

Fuck her, block her on everything, don't contact her.

If she threatens you again, tell her you've got a lawyer.


Abortions make some women crazy as fuck or emotionally devastated for awhile.

Post: #9

Balls in her court. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I second the notion to cut off all contact or at least limit your communication to what's absolutely needed, based on advice from a lawyer.

Don't let the cost of a lawyer intimidate you into not seeing one. An initial consulation will be affordable (I'd say about 150-300 dollars depending) and will be more than worth it to not make a big mistake. If this woman is a F up then there's a good chance she'll fail to follow through and let it drop. If she does pursue legal action get ready for it and be smart.

Post: #10

The notion that a girl could sue a guy for half the cost of an abortion after consensual sex is absolutely mind boggling to me. I guess this would happen only in America...or Canada.

Post: #11

I don't think I could afford a lawyer, I'm broke as fuck right now. I'm just a student still and I don't want to freak my parents. But the good news is that I'm fairly certain I won't need one, they told me at the free legal clinic that she could only take me to small claims court. Apparently anything under $2500 here in Ontario

(09-08-2015 04:53 PM)crudeloyalist Wrote:  The notion that a girl could sue a guy for half the cost of an abortion after consensual sex is absolutely mind boggling to me. I guess this would happen only in America...or Canada.

Well I'm not sure if she really can but to be honest I don't think its that crazy (or unfair even) for a law like that too exist. Both parties were involved in making it happen, it does seem fair the cost could be split. That being said, the way she's been such a giant bitch about this I'm gonna fight this all the way. I might've even considered it, if she hadn't come swinging out of the gate with threats and insults

Post: #12

Call her bluff. To sue in Canada isn't a walk in the park like the USA. Canadians like to think its like the movies and like USA law but it is very tedious to get civil suits to stick in Canada and then laws cockblock people at each step.

Call her on her bluff to sue by just loosing contact with her. The reality is that her rich parents, to fund her legal circus, would then have to know all about their little princess and her abortion as all those details would have to come clean in the civil suit. In don't think she would want all that stuff out there which is why she is just talking shit to emotionally spook you.

It isn't about the money, she just wants tingles from revenge and one-upping you.

She probably feels you got off easy as she has the burden of a dead kid on her soul, not sure if that is some typical stuff that creeps up in women who had abortions but I would not doubt it.

Cut off contact, make her put on the adult pants and follow through if she is serious (she won't because women are cowards). If she wants to spend the cash to serve you a legal notice then she is serious. But even that costs maybe $200 to get a lawyer to write you one.... High costs for a petty $500.... She isn't serious.

Post: #13

(09-08-2015 06:07 PM)kosko Wrote:  Call her bluff. To sue in Canada isn't a walk in the park like the USA. Canadians like to think its like the movies and like USA law but it is very tedious to get civil suits to stick in Canada and then laws cockblock people at each step.
[b]
Call her on her bluff to sue by just loosing contact with her. The reality is that her rich parents, to fund her legal circus, would then have to know all about their little princess and her abortion as all those details would have to come clean in the civil suit. In don't think she would want all that stuff out there which is why she is just talking shit to emotionally spook you. [/b]

It isn't about the money, she just wants tingles from revenge and one-upping you.

She probably feels you got off easy as she has the burden of a dead kid on her soul, not sure if that is some typical stuff that creeps up in women who had abortions but I would not doubt it.

Cut off contact, make her put on the adult pants and follow through if she is serious (she won't because women are cowards). If she wants to spend the cash to serve you a legal notice then she is serious. But even that costs maybe $200 to get a lawyer to write you one.... High costs for a petty $500.... She isn't serious.

This.

She'll back down if she knows what will have to get involved, not to mention if she's fearful you'll go to her parents about it.

Post: #14

On the bright side, sounds like the OP and his ex were in agreement in the decision to terminate the pregnancy, despite her unilaterally deciding to terminate without consulting him.

If (hypothetically) QuietDog desperately wanted to be a father and raise the child, there would have been nothing he could have done to prevent her from aborting it. If she decided she wanted to have the kid raise it and collect CS, QuietDog's a parent now, ready or not (I've been there). Or, she could have kept the pregnancy secret altogether and raised it herself. Then QD's got a kid out there he never gets to know.

Lots of options for her, none for him.

Anyway, without diminishing the seriousness of the situation, it sounds like things could have been worse.

Best of luck to the OP.

Post: #15

(09-08-2015 06:07 PM)kosko Wrote:  Call her bluff. To sue in Canada isn't a walk in the park like the USA. Canadians like to think its like the movies and like USA law but it is very tedious to get civil suits to stick in Canada and then laws cockblock people at each step.

Call her on her bluff to sue by just loosing contact with her. The reality is that her rich parents, to fund her legal circus, would then have to know all about their little princess and her abortion as all those details would have to come clean in the civil suit. In don't think she would want all that stuff out there which is why she is just talking shit to emotionally spook you.

It isn't about the money, she just wants tingles from revenge and one-upping you.

She probably feels you got off easy as she has the burden of a dead kid on her soul, not sure if that is some typical stuff that creeps up in women who had abortions but I would not doubt it.

Cut off contact, make her put on the adult pants and follow through if she is serious (she won't because women are cowards). If she wants to spend the cash to serve you a legal notice then she is serious. But even that costs maybe $200 to get a lawyer to write you one.... High costs for a petty $500.... She isn't serious.

Yeah I'm just cutting contact and I'll wait to see whether I get a court order or not, I highly doubt that I will. I think she could probably pay for it without her parents knowing but with how worried she was about it being secret I doubt that she'd risk it.

I've thought about how I could play dirty and inform her parents or if she does go through with it, I'd have to go back to the city where I used to go to school (and this happened) and I could just be upfront to the people I see, who we both know there, about what I'm doing back. But, I think I will instead try to be the bigger person and if she serves me then I'll just go and fight it cleanly. I've talked to a few more people (including a lawyer friend) and they all agreed she would lose the case.

So worst comes to worst, I'm out $40 for court fees and I get a chance to visit my old buddies from my last school. I'm not too worried about this anymore.

Thanks for all the advice guys!

Post: #16

What you should do is print her out a voucher with a monopoly money background that says "next abortion is on me sugar!" along with fine print stating that it's void if it's not actually your baby and just hand that over to her instead.

Post: #17

(09-08-2015 05:37 PM)QuietDog Wrote:  I don't think I could afford a lawyer, I'm broke as fuck right now.

I think there are enough lawyers in the forum to start a "help a bro out" fund.

Not pro bono, but dish out affordable legal advice for a fellow in need.

Ring me up if any of you needs lawyering up in Mexico.

Quote:Yeah I'm just cutting contact and I'll wait to see whether I get a court order or not,

Court order for what? Paying for half an abortionthats already paid for? Did she kept a receipt?

Dont worry about it.

Post: #18

(09-09-2015 01:29 PM)germanico Wrote:  

(09-08-2015 05:37 PM)QuietDog Wrote:  I don't think I could afford a lawyer, I'm broke as fuck right now.

I think there are enough lawyers in the forum to start a "help a bro out" fund.

Not pro bono, but dish out affordable legal advice for a fellow in need.

I've been practicing law for a long time, and I have no idea why this guy is even worried.

Edit: I now see that he is in Canada, but I still don't know what the problem is. lavidaloca may be the best guy to ask about Canadian law.

Post: #19

(09-08-2015 06:07 PM)kosko Wrote:  Call her bluff. To sue in Canada isn't a walk in the park like the USA. Canadians like to think its like the movies and like USA law but it is very tedious to get civil suits to stick in Canada and then laws cockblock people at each step.

Call her on her bluff to sue by just loosing contact with her. The reality is that her rich parents, to fund her legal circus, would then have to know all about their little princess and her abortion as all those details would have to come clean in the civil suit. In don't think she would want all that stuff out there which is why she is just talking shit to emotionally spook you.

It isn't about the money, she just wants tingles from revenge and one-upping you.

She probably feels you got off easy as she has the burden of a dead kid on her soul, not sure if that is some typical stuff that creeps up in women who had abortions but I would not doubt it.

Cut off contact, make her put on the adult pants and follow through if she is serious (she won't because women are cowards). If she wants to spend the cash to serve you a legal notice then she is serious. But even that costs maybe $200 to get a lawyer to write you one.... High costs for a petty $500.... She isn't serious.

Bingo - this effects women big time, a lot of them never really get over this sort of thing.

Its not about the money.

Post: #20

(09-09-2015 01:36 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(09-08-2015 06:07 PM)kosko Wrote:  Call her bluff. To sue in Canada isn't a walk in the park like the USA. Canadians like to think its like the movies and like USA law but it is very tedious to get civil suits to stick in Canada and then laws cockblock people at each step.

Call her on her bluff to sue by just loosing contact with her. The reality is that her rich parents, to fund her legal circus, would then have to know all about their little princess and her abortion as all those details would have to come clean in the civil suit. In don't think she would want all that stuff out there which is why she is just talking shit to emotionally spook you.

It isn't about the money, she just wants tingles from revenge and one-upping you.

She probably feels you got off easy as she has the burden of a dead kid on her soul, not sure if that is some typical stuff that creeps up in women who had abortions but I would not doubt it.

Cut off contact, make her put on the adult pants and follow through if she is serious (she won't because women are cowards). If she wants to spend the cash to serve you a legal notice then she is serious. But even that costs maybe $200 to get a lawyer to write you one.... High costs for a petty $500.... She isn't serious.

Bingo - this effects women big time, a lot of them never really get over this sort of thing.

Its not about the money.

What cause of action would this even be? The closest thing to a cause of action in the United States would be a Complaint for Breach of Contract in small claims court claiming that O.P. had an agreement with her to pay for half of the abortion costs. I guess, in theory, she would be entitled to that if O.P. agreed to pay it and failed to do so, but I really don't see it being worth it.

Post: #21

She had an abortion over a year and half ago, but decides to come and tell you two weeks ago. RED FLAG

How do you know she had an abortion?

Can she prove it and show that is was yours?

Sounds like she wants some connection with you.

Post: #22

(09-08-2015 04:09 PM)iop890 Wrote:  How much does an abortion even cost?

This.

I heard second hand (and a quick google search says) they're like $500. I mean the absolute worst case scenario here if you're on the hook for a few hundred bucks, which in the big scope of things is nothing. I don't know why people are suggesting getting lawyers involved who will charge as much to write a letter as the entire issue at hand. Her case is shaky at best, appears to be a money grab, and is she really going to get lawyers, DNA tests, and the courts involved over this? I don't see how between lawyer fees and time invested, anyone but the lawyers come out ahead. If push came to shove and court papers were filed, I would probably just pay, it wouldn't even be worth missing a couple days of work over.

Second, I'd heed this as a lesson not to live so close financially to the edge. Shit like this which require a few hundred(or thousand) dollars quick could come out of nowhere. But then I guess there is a whole payday loan industry designed on this very premise...

Post: #23

OP, please do keep us posted so that future members know how similar situations could turn out.

And best of luck. Wrap it up next time unless for LTR.

Post: #24

She probably never even had an abortion.

Post: #25

(09-10-2015 09:25 AM)Roosh Wrote:  She probably never even had an abortion.

I am nearly 100% certain that she did, I don't think you can fake the way she was acting. I've never seen anyone so devastated in my life the night she told me

@Rudebwoy
She told me about it two weeks after the abortion (a year and a half ago) but she only started threatening to sue a few days ago

(09-10-2015 09:16 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  OP, please do keep us posted so that future members know how similar situations could turn out.

And best of luck. Wrap it up next time unless for LTR.

Yeah learned my lesson with this one

I'll let you guys know what happens but I'm not worried at all anymore. Like Merenguero said the only thing she could do is take me small claims court and I'm almost certain to win because she declined my earlier offer to pay. I don't think she will go through with it anyway