Post: #426

(02-18-2017 12:35 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  The trouble with Thailand is that it all revolves around money, and you need that stuff in order to play there. And in order to have money, I need work. Which isn't so easy to find in Thailand, with all the competition from a million other westerners who want to do the same.

I tried to move to Thailand. I lived there for three months. I absolutely withered on the vine in Bangkok - that environment is the antithesis of everything I value. I tried the south - Phuket and Krabi, and the southeast around the Gulf, and Chiang Mai and Rai and Pai. No frickin jobs there man. They're all taken. And I got the sense from the islands that I'm not "cool" enough to be there. Like I'm not "in" the "in crowd" of beach-hippies and jet-setters and famous yogis and fitness instructors that call Phuket home. Same thing to a lesser extent throughout the south. In Chiang Mai I felt a little more accepted, but after physically visiting practically every school in the city, and personally chatting with the owners of them all, there were just no fucking offers. They don't need another foreigner. They're up to their eyeballs in us.

I did get offered one job though - in a remote, random, tiny town in the interior of the country, that had exactly one 7-11 in it - that's how small the place was - and no tourists, and no sex industry. The restaurants closed at sundown. And I was fired on the first day for not being handsome enough to the old lady principal.

I'm pretty confident in saying that the universe sent me a message that Thailand ain't the spot.

I never said to get a job and move there, just take an extended trip. That doesn't cost a great deal of money, when I was a broke university student I still managed a trip of longer than a month.

It's good to hear you have visited the country before, but going there with a focus to find a job and live there will be different from just being there to enjoy yourself, as every day you failed in the former but you can win every day in the latter.

I'd focus on Bangkok, Phuket and the islands exclusively - the islands is where I personally have the most fun.

Another suggestion which may be risky due to your obvious neurotic disposition - take some drugs whilst out there. Weed and mushrooms are easy to get on Koh Phangan and they've been wholly beneficial in my life, but your mileage may vary.

Post: #427

(02-18-2017 01:01 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  Man.

I had wondered what you'd been up to, this thread was like a book with the entire second half of it ripped out.

We got a few more pages these last couple of days, and they delivered.

15 times in your life...even with living in Asia...damn.

I've read the entire thread, but I haven't read all of it in a few months.

Has anyone suggested raising your testosterone level yet? Are you eating enough red meat and healthy fats? Try eating lots of avocados, salmon, filet mignon, walnuts, etc.

If you're horny enough, the volume of these thoughts bouncing around your head should go down, replaced by pure masculine sexual energy that needs an outlet.

Also, the weed.

Have you tried cutting that out? It may be making you space out instead of taking action.

If all these thoughts are running through your head, you may just not want it bad enough, and it could be your inputs are off.

It's great to see you back, man, and nice work on making it happen by getting out there in Asia, you did what you felt you had to do.

Well I'm happy to be inspiring. It's a type of solace that at least my efforts are adding value to the world in this way, even if I'm not gettin much action yet.

Testosterone... I don't do heavy lifting. Partly because I don't know where any gyms are... and I'm not that eager to find out, because I find gyms soooo boring. They're tedious. I try to sit myself down and lift those fuckin things, and I just end up thinking to myself, that this is literally the definition of pointless labor - moving an object back and forth, over and over again.

However, I do climb mountains. That's pretty testosteroney, right? I'm not talking about using ice picks and crampons and stuff - just hiking. Starting at the bottom, looking up at the top, and thinking "I'm going to get as high as I can on that thing in the amount of time that daylight allows." And then I do that. It's way more fun than the gym.

My diet is very good. Lots of whole veggies, lots of fruit, some nuts (walnuts are quite common here and I eat them), eggs, and fish - particularly salmon. I stopped eating birds and mammals for moral reasons last May - before that, I was eating everything. I wish there were avocados for sale here.

Weed, however, has been a major factor. I use it for creativity, to make progress on my personal projects. I smoke it out in nature, while I'm hiking, or meditating. This is good. I like this. But I also use it in front of my computer, watching porn. I have a hunch that that might not be so positive. I would like to majorly reduce or quit the latter usage - while maintaining the former. But success in this endeavor has thus far evaded me. EXCEPT for a brief period starting exactly when the new president got inaugurated. I don't like his politics, but I felt a surge of empowerment to my personal masculinity when I watched him getting sworn in, and knowing that the misandrist gynocracy that I spent my stateside life getting oppressed under finally got knocked off its pedestal, and for a few weeks I felt really free and able to say no to the urge to worship pixellated computer images of feminists having sex. But that effect seems to have worn off.

Post: #428

(02-18-2017 12:59 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  

(02-18-2017 01:01 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  Man.

I had wondered what you'd been up to, this thread was like a book with the entire second half of it ripped out.

We got a few more pages these last couple of days, and they delivered.

15 times in your life...even with living in Asia...damn.

I've read the entire thread, but I haven't read all of it in a few months.

Has anyone suggested raising your testosterone level yet? Are you eating enough red meat and healthy fats? Try eating lots of avocados, salmon, filet mignon, walnuts, etc.

If you're horny enough, the volume of these thoughts bouncing around your head should go down, replaced by pure masculine sexual energy that needs an outlet.

Also, the weed.

Have you tried cutting that out? It may be making you space out instead of taking action.

If all these thoughts are running through your head, you may just not want it bad enough, and it could be your inputs are off.

It's great to see you back, man, and nice work on making it happen by getting out there in Asia, you did what you felt you had to do.

Well I'm happy to be inspiring. It's a type of solace that at least my efforts are adding value to the world in this way, even if I'm not gettin much action yet.

Testosterone... I don't do heavy lifting. Partly because I don't know where any gyms are... and I'm not that eager to find out, because I find gyms soooo boring. They're tedious. I try to sit myself down and lift those fuckin things, and I just end up thinking to myself, that this is literally the definition of pointless labor - moving an object back and forth, over and over again.

However, I do climb mountains. That's pretty testosteroney, right? I'm not talking about using ice picks and crampons and stuff - just hiking. Starting at the bottom, looking up at the top, and thinking "I'm going to get as high as I can on that thing in the amount of time that daylight allows." And then I do that. It's way more fun than the gym.

My diet is very good. Lots of whole veggies, lots of fruit, some nuts (walnuts are quite common here and I eat them), eggs, and fish - particularly salmon. I stopped eating birds and mammals for moral reasons last May - before that, I was eating everything. I wish there were avocados for sale here.

Weed, however, has been a major factor. I use it for creativity, to make progress on my personal projects. I smoke it out in nature, while I'm hiking, or meditating. This is good. I like this. But I also use it in front of my computer, watching porn. I have a hunch that that might not be so positive. I would like to majorly reduce or quit the latter usage - while maintaining the former. But success in this endeavor has thus far evaded me. EXCEPT for a brief period starting exactly when the new president got inaugurated. I don't like his politics, but I felt a surge of empowerment to my personal masculinity when I watched him getting sworn in, and knowing that the misandrist gynocracy that I spent my stateside life getting oppressed under finally got knocked off its pedestal, and for a few weeks I felt really free and able to say no to the urge to worship pixellated computer images of feminists having sex. But that effect seems to have worn off.

I will say also that during that period without porn, I started to feel more naturally sexual - more animalistic. I started looking at girls and just thinking "i want to FUCK them, right there, just stick it in there right now", which was almost surprising to hear myself thinking that. That almost never happens. And during that time, I was still smoking tons of weed. My animalistic fuck drive was returning, while I was still smoking. So I think the weed is probably not the main energy sapper - it's probably the porn.

Post: #429

(02-18-2017 01:07 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  

(02-18-2017 12:59 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  

(02-18-2017 01:01 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  Man.

I had wondered what you'd been up to, this thread was like a book with the entire second half of it ripped out.

We got a few more pages these last couple of days, and they delivered.

15 times in your life...even with living in Asia...damn.

I've read the entire thread, but I haven't read all of it in a few months.

Has anyone suggested raising your testosterone level yet? Are you eating enough red meat and healthy fats? Try eating lots of avocados, salmon, filet mignon, walnuts, etc.

If you're horny enough, the volume of these thoughts bouncing around your head should go down, replaced by pure masculine sexual energy that needs an outlet.

Also, the weed.

Have you tried cutting that out? It may be making you space out instead of taking action.

If all these thoughts are running through your head, you may just not want it bad enough, and it could be your inputs are off.

It's great to see you back, man, and nice work on making it happen by getting out there in Asia, you did what you felt you had to do.

Well I'm happy to be inspiring. It's a type of solace that at least my efforts are adding value to the world in this way, even if I'm not gettin much action yet.

Testosterone... I don't do heavy lifting. Partly because I don't know where any gyms are... and I'm not that eager to find out, because I find gyms soooo boring. They're tedious. I try to sit myself down and lift those fuckin things, and I just end up thinking to myself, that this is literally the definition of pointless labor - moving an object back and forth, over and over again.

However, I do climb mountains. That's pretty testosteroney, right? I'm not talking about using ice picks and crampons and stuff - just hiking. Starting at the bottom, looking up at the top, and thinking "I'm going to get as high as I can on that thing in the amount of time that daylight allows." And then I do that. It's way more fun than the gym.

My diet is very good. Lots of whole veggies, lots of fruit, some nuts (walnuts are quite common here and I eat them), eggs, and fish - particularly salmon. I stopped eating birds and mammals for moral reasons last May - before that, I was eating everything. I wish there were avocados for sale here.

Weed, however, has been a major factor. I use it for creativity, to make progress on my personal projects. I smoke it out in nature, while I'm hiking, or meditating. This is good. I like this. But I also use it in front of my computer, watching porn. I have a hunch that that might not be so positive. I would like to majorly reduce or quit the latter usage - while maintaining the former. But success in this endeavor has thus far evaded me. EXCEPT for a brief period starting exactly when the new president got inaugurated. I don't like his politics, but I felt a surge of empowerment to my personal masculinity when I watched him getting sworn in, and knowing that the misandrist gynocracy that I spent my stateside life getting oppressed under finally got knocked off its pedestal, and for a few weeks I felt really free and able to say no to the urge to worship pixellated computer images of feminists having sex. But that effect seems to have worn off.

I will say also that during that period without porn, I started to feel more naturally sexual - more animalistic. I started looking at girls and just thinking "i want to FUCK them, right there, just stick it in there right now", which was almost surprising to hear myself thinking that. That almost never happens. And during that time, I was still smoking tons of weed. My animalistic fuck drive was returning, while I was still smoking. So I think the weed is probably not the main energy sapper - it's probably the porn.

And the reason I watch porn so much is because it fills an emotional void. I feel so lonely. Loneliness is the only thing I've ever known, and so I don't even have MEMORIES of good sex or romance to fall back on. I'm stuck sitting in my room, at night, with this sense of emptiness that's so profound, nothing fills it, except girls. And porn is the only way to see them. The clubs here are... not adequate. And even if I go to one, it's not emotionally satisfying in any way, and as soon as I get home, even if it's 2AM, I go right to porn. So the club doesn't change anything.

Post: #430

(02-18-2017 06:38 AM)subterfuge Wrote:  

(02-18-2017 01:01 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  15 times in your life...even with living in Asia...damn.

hehe, that's a lot more than me!! I think I need to join Greenman with the '' move too an easy country if you want to get laid'' idea! Although, I must admit that i'm also not really into Asian girls either, from a looks perspective.

I didn't use to be either. Growing up in America, a certain ideal of beauty is shoved down our throats 24/7, usually the rail-thin blonde with a pancake butt, pale skin, blue eyes, and a bosom that's going to cause future back problems, or in the last decade or so, a healthier-weight brunette with an exotic face and ample backside, sometimes with a tan.

Then I dated a beautiful half-Asian girl, she was voted the representative of beauty and good values for her community in the city I was living in. I walked her down the aisle at church in a ceremony celebrating that accomplishment, and she was my gateway drug, I was hooked. I was like, "Where do these women with melodious voices, virtually glabrous bodies, strong black hair, flawless skin, firm, toned breasts that aren't too large, lithe, fun-sized bodies, vice-grip talents, small mouths, pleasant demeanors, gorgeous eyes, and small, delicate noses come from? I must find the source..."

That, and relative to their western counterparts, they're less prone to obesity, age slower, don't need to wear makeup, and have very low divorce rates. For a long-term oriented guy like myself, they're a very solid pool to be casting a net in.

And so it began.

That said, of course not all of them are gorgeous and nice and all that jazz, but the small minority that are, the ones whose face would look completely natural on the cover of a cosmetics magazine, their beauty is second to none in my eyes. Their patriarchal culture matches mine like a glove. In a way, they see their father in me, a leader, a protector, strict, but always fair.

It's a role I'm naturally suited for, so it works well.

Post: #431

(02-18-2017 01:12 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  I will say also that during that period without porn, I started to feel more naturally sexual - more animalistic. I started looking at girls and just thinking "i want to FUCK them, right there, just stick it in there right now", which was almost surprising to hear myself thinking that. That almost never happens. And during that time, I was still smoking tons of weed. My animalistic fuck drive was returning, while I was still smoking. So I think the weed is probably not the main energy sapper - it's probably the porn.

And the reason I watch porn so much is because it fills an emotional void. I feel so lonely. Loneliness is the only thing I've ever known, and so I don't even have MEMORIES of good sex or romance to fall back on. I'm stuck sitting in my room, at night, with this sense of emptiness that's so profound, nothing fills it, except girls. And porn is the only way to see them. The clubs here are... not adequate. And even if I go to one, it's not emotionally satisfying in any way, and as soon as I get home, even if it's 2AM, I go right to porn. So the club doesn't change anything.

Nice work on the hiking, that's really good, I do that myself, it's a great habit to have, it gives you time to think about things while breathing some clean air and exercising a bit in a natural way, as opposed to, like you said, the "unnatural" way of lifting weights.

I get where you're coming from, man, and I'm so happy that you're out there, life is meant to be enjoyed, and making love to beautiful women is a core function of that.

As far as your situation, if it was me out there, I would already have a girlfriend, and I would only have to put in a tenth or a hundredth the effort you would have to put in.

Life isn't fair.

But hey, we all have our challenges to deal with, and I have my own, the key is overcoming them.

So, for your scenario, I'm just going to be completely honest, because I think you need it and if I was in your situation, I would really appreciate a no-bullshit approach.

Because you're looking for a natural relationship, and not P4P, and you're wanting a girl that you actually desire, you're going to have to raise your SMV. Part of your lower SMV can be attributed to your sexual difficulties/inexperience, which will improve as time passes, so that's one good thing.

Moving to China raised your SMV massively, and that's fantastic, but your SMV is at a point that even with that boost, you're still not able to get the kind of girl you really want.

Instead, you're getting girls that may sate your physical thirst for a moment, but emotionally, they're a desert, and your lips are still parched.

To achieve your goal, you have to raise your SMV, you have to bring more to the table.

From my understanding of Chinese culture, smoking dope there isn't seen as a plus. So, I would nix that, as it'll hurt you with more family-oriented girls. You've got to be congruent, you're a nice, hard working guy, and smoking dope isn't congruent with that, so it'll hurt you with certain girls. In other words, it'll decrease your SMV, and you need every tenth of an SMV point you can get, man, you have no margin for error.

In the last pic I saw, you were a little chubby. If you were 6' tall, then you could be lax on things like that and still do fine there, but you've got no wiggle room, man, from where you're coming from, if you want to get what you want to get, you're going to have to become a well-oiled machine.

I'm going to quote Zelcorpion from earlier in the thread, because he put it well:

(09-26-2014 10:19 PM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  Also - regarding your looks - you probably heard this from guys already - most can optimize it by losing weight, bulking up some muscle, shaving the head and getting a tan. It may seem so basic, but all those things really work on women on some fundamental fashion triggering attraction points. Apart from that you are not an ugly dude, but you know that.

At this point, you could get this done in less than two months. You can go to a gym, but really, if you get your nutrition 100% on point and keep up your hiking, that's enough, it's China, you already have a larger build than the guys there to begin with

Cut the porn, cut the weed, eat healthy fats, optimize your looks, and with the SMV boost that being a foreigner in China gives you, you will have the desire, and the capability, to land a cute, normal, well-adjusted girl that loves you.

If she's a 7 plus, don't even think of bringing her back to America, though, holding on to a girl like that with competition from guys like me, ring or no ring, is a tenuous proposition, at best.

Stay abroad, man, you're on the right track, stay the course.

Post: #432

I heard Midland and Pleasanton are picking up again. Maybe that's what you need to raise your T....some hard manual labor in the unforgiving Texas sun.

Post: #433

I just saw a show at a local college.

Asian rappers.

I talked to the DJ, they are touring the west coast, having fun, getting tons of pussy, making $$$.

Very ambitions and intelligent young entrepreneurs having peak masculine experiences.. They inspired me!



Now, I've return home to see that the famous greenman is back!

The otherside of the masculine spectrum -- loneliness, sadness, frustration, LACK OF SEX, LACK OF INTIMACY, Lack of love, etc.

Life is amazing -- but also cruel.


Why are we so drawn to greenmans story?

It makes us feel better about ourselves.

There is always someone worse off than we are.

(01-12-2017 01:56 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  I'm looking for my soulmate

I want to bang every girl I possibly can

Welcome to life as a man.

My advice: Bang lots of girls until you're ready to settle down.

(02-17-2017 11:13 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  I still haven't had a satisfying sexual experience.

You've only had sex 15 times in your life.

It takes a little more practice to get the hang of it

(02-17-2017 03:43 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  I can't relax around girls

Again, more experience needed.

(02-17-2017 03:43 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  I'm trained in yoga. I know pranayama.

No offense, I love yoga, I do yoga, but....

Fuck your yoga practice as it relates to your level of relaxation around women!

You want a "spiritual' practice that will allow you to feel better physically and mentally???

Fix your sex/intimacy problems! Get comfortable around women. That is the spiritual practice that you need to fix!

(02-18-2017 12:07 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  Weed: I smoke almost every day.

This is a problem because it leads to OVER-THINKING and UNFOCUSED THINKING!

I can tell that you GET HIGH and then over think your situation.

Weed is okay moderation but daily weed smoking is a false path.


In conclusion, all I can say is KEEP GOING.. DON'T GIVE UP OR GIVE IN!

It took me nearly 10 years to get comfortable with women and I enjoyed every step along the way.

You should try to enjoy your journey as well.

A white guy in China? You' should be fine if you can focus your mind on fruitful strategies.

Post: #434

I spent an afternoon reading through this and it has to be the most EPIC RooshVForum thread of all time

Guy comes in, posts an autistic wall of text talking about how he's given it his ALL, how he's done over three THOUSAND approaches, and NOTHING has worked

HMMMM, I wonder, what could it be?

What follows is 10 full pages of disbelieving forum users furrowing their brows, trying their damnedest to help, giving all manner of suggestions, analysing his "Game", his vibe, his personality, and so on...

Until someone asks him off-hand "Bro what do you look like?", to which he calmly obliges, only to reveal...

... that is he is COMPLETE GENETIC TRASH

He lost in EVERY FACET imaginable

Short
Ugly
Bald
Ethnic
Chubby
Autistic


Like you legit can't make this shit up, It writes itself

Suddenly everything makes sense now, all questions are answered

The absolute bottom of the bottom, a literal goblin





Reminder: a rejection is not a girl being a "bitch", nor is it a problem with your "Game"... it is a natural sign from the universe that you're not meant to reproduce

Post: #435

(02-25-2017 06:49 PM)Maxzilla Wrote:  I spent an afternoon reading through this and it has to be the most EPIC RooshVForum thread of all time

Guy comes in, posts an autistic wall of text talking about how he's given it his ALL, how he's done over three THOUSAND approaches, and NOTHING has worked

HMMMM, I wonder, what could it be?

What follows is 10 full pages of disbelieving forum users furrowing their brows, trying their damnedest to help, giving all manner of suggestions, analysing his "Game", his vibe, his personality, and so on...

Until someone asks him off-hand "Bro what do you look like?", to which he calmly obliges, only to reveal...

... that is he is COMPLETE GENETIC TRASH

He lost in EVERY FACET imaginable

Short
Ugly
Bald
Ethnic
Chubby
Autistic


Like you legit can't make this shit up, It writes itself

Suddenly everything makes sense now, all questions are answered

The absolute bottom of the bottom, a literal goblin





Reminder: a rejection is not a girl being a "bitch", nor is it a problem with your "Game"... it is a natural sign from the universe that you're not meant to reproduce

You know, maybe this guy is right. It's like the whole universe is conspiring to prevent me from ever experiencing intimacy. Perhaps there is a God, and he hates me. Or maybe he's sadistic and enjoys watching me suffer. Maybe he think's I'm a joke, for his entertainment. I don't know what it is. But what I do know is that I've put everything I had into this, and everything I had wasn't enough. I gave it my all. I have nothing to show for it. I'm 31. If it hasn't happened by 31, with all the work I put into it making it happen, it's probably never going to.

Post: #436

Fuck guys like that.

We are given what we are given - we can only do our best out of it.

You are given superior intelligence.
And you were given the awareness of Red Pill and Game.

Not everyone is set to become a pussyslaying magnet in this life. But all the work you put in will bring dividends one way or another.

You can find a nice girl and settle down, have a happy life. Just don't expect a girl to have many common discussions - it's enough if she likes hiking and nature. The common topics will follow with kids and life. For the rest - you have male friends.

Post: #437

(03-10-2017 08:56 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  Fuck guys like that.

We are given what we are given - we can only do our best out of it.

You are given superior intelligence.
And you were given the awareness of Red Pill and Game.

Not everyone is set to become a pussyslaying magnet in this life. But all the work you put in will bring dividends one way or another.

You can find a nice girl and settle down, have a happy life. Just don't expect a girl to have many common discussions - it's enough if she likes hiking and nature. The common topics will follow with kids and life. For the rest - you have male friends.

I missed that post from that bitch ass troll who has thankfully been banned. Greenman, pretty much everyone here, including myself, is in agreement that you have made some serious progress over the past two or three years. The last person you should be listening to is that bollocks with a line through his name.

Post: #438

(03-10-2017 10:10 AM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(03-10-2017 08:56 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  Fuck guys like that.

We are given what we are given - we can only do our best out of it.

You are given superior intelligence.
And you were given the awareness of Red Pill and Game.

Not everyone is set to become a pussyslaying magnet in this life. But all the work you put in will bring dividends one way or another.

You can find a nice girl and settle down, have a happy life. Just don't expect a girl to have many common discussions - it's enough if she likes hiking and nature. The common topics will follow with kids and life. For the rest - you have male friends.

I missed that post from that bitch ass troll who has thankfully been banned. Greenman, pretty much everyone here, including myself, is in agreement that you have made some serious progress over the past two or three years. The last person you should be listening to is that bollocks with a line through his name.

It's not him. He just gave voice to a thought I was already thinking.

I need to be brutally honest. It's killing me from the inside out. I can't pretend to be Mr. Optimistic anymore. Sorry if it comes across as Debbie Downer, but we all need to be honest sometimes. I don't see any possibility of ever connecting with anyone, ever. I don't see how any girl is ever going to be into me. It's like I'm mining for a mineral where no such mineral exists. Me having sex? I don't see it in my reality.

I can't even THINK about sex or romance or intimacy anymore. You know why? Because the moment I think about it, I start realizing what I've been missing. 16 years of missing. 16 years down the drain, GONE. 16 years of the prime of my life, like they never existed. I already LOST.

16 years of other people living life, and me living an empty hologram of a life. 16 years, and now I'm aging. I'm bald already. My testosterone is on its downward slope. Every day that goes by is another pound of emotional repression and baggage, making it 1 pound more difficult for me to break free from. And that's on top of a baggage-free condition that I started out in, in which I was STILL unable to form a connection with anyone, despite being young and baggageless. Now I have 16 years of trauma and loneliness and sexual repression, on top of what I already had, and ever day that goes by is one more day of life wasted, making the realm of sex and intimacy that I've missed that much harder to look in the face.

I don't see how any girl can ever connect with me. Even if one was doing it right now, my mind wouldn't be able to process it. Dude a couple of posts above suggested a "find a nice girl to settle down with." Settle down with? Who is going to do that? Lots of poor girls in poor countries, sure. And the entire time, they'll be thinking about what a chore it is to pretend to love me.

And the poor girl angle only works if I have money. Which I don't have. And which I'm probably never going to have, since money requires drive, and I'm sinking further into depression with each passing month. How am I going to make money when I can barely drag myself out of bed? When the reason I can't drag myself out of bed is because I don't have a girl (or any hope of finding one), and I don't have a girl because I don't have money, and I don't have money because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money, because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money...

An endless cycle that feeds on itself. I don't see any way to break out of it.

It's hard for most guys to understand - the sheer degree of how absent sexual gratification is from my psyche. It's not that it's hard to get, or beyond reach - it's like I don't even have a MEMORY of it. Not even in the back of my brain. It's like it's literally a non-existent, purely fictitious concept.

I'm sorry if I'm sapping your vibes or whatever... but I've spent 2.5 years holding up the persona of optimism... and I need to lower the mask for a while. It's somewhat cathartic, to be honest.

Post: #439

(03-10-2017 10:37 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  

(03-10-2017 10:10 AM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(03-10-2017 08:56 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  Fuck guys like that.

We are given what we are given - we can only do our best out of it.

You are given superior intelligence.
And you were given the awareness of Red Pill and Game.

Not everyone is set to become a pussyslaying magnet in this life. But all the work you put in will bring dividends one way or another.

You can find a nice girl and settle down, have a happy life. Just don't expect a girl to have many common discussions - it's enough if she likes hiking and nature. The common topics will follow with kids and life. For the rest - you have male friends.

I missed that post from that bitch ass troll who has thankfully been banned. Greenman, pretty much everyone here, including myself, is in agreement that you have made some serious progress over the past two or three years. The last person you should be listening to is that bollocks with a line through his name.

It's not him. He just gave voice to a thought I was already thinking.

I need to be brutally honest. It's killing me from the inside out. I can't pretend to be Mr. Optimistic anymore. Sorry if it comes across as Debbie Downer, but we all need to be honest sometimes. I don't see any possibility of ever connecting with anyone, ever. I don't see how any girl is ever going to be into me. It's like I'm mining for a mineral where no such mineral exists. Me having sex? I don't see it in my reality.

I can't even THINK about sex or romance or intimacy anymore. You know why? Because the moment I think about it, I start realizing what I've been missing. 16 years of missing. 16 years down the drain, GONE. 16 years of the prime of my life, like they never existed. I already LOST.

16 years of other people living life, and me living an empty hologram of a life. 16 years, and now I'm aging. I'm bald already. My testosterone is on its downward slope. Every day that goes by is another pound of emotional repression and baggage, making it 1 pound more difficult for me to break free from. And that's on top of a baggage-free condition that I started out in, in which I was STILL unable to form a connection with anyone, despite being young and baggageless. Now I have 16 years of trauma and loneliness and sexual repression, on top of what I already had, and ever day that goes by is one more day of life wasted, making the realm of sex and intimacy that I've missed that much harder to look in the face.

I don't see how any girl can ever connect with me. Even if one was doing it right now, my mind wouldn't be able to process it. Dude a couple of posts above suggested a "find a nice girl to settle down with." Settle down with? Who is going to do that? Lots of poor girls in poor countries, sure. And the entire time, they'll be thinking about what a chore it is to pretend to love me.

And the poor girl angle only works if I have money. Which I don't have. And which I'm probably never going to have, since money requires drive, and I'm sinking further into depression with each passing month. How am I going to make money when I can barely drag myself out of bed? When the reason I can't drag myself out of bed is because I don't have a girl (or any hope of finding one), and I don't have a girl because I don't have money, and I don't have money because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money, because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money...

An endless cycle that feeds on itself. I don't see any way to break out of it.

It's hard for most guys to understand - the sheer degree of how absent sexual gratification is from my psyche. It's not that it's hard to get, or beyond reach - it's like I don't even have a MEMORY of it. Not even in the back of my brain. It's like it's literally a non-existent, purely fictitious concept.

I'm sorry if I'm sapping your vibes or whatever... but I've spent 2.5 years holding up the persona of optimism... and I need to lower the mask for a while. It's somewhat cathartic, to be honest.

All my friends from back home have moved on and we barely talk. We can't relate to each other anymore. My one friend who still had long conversations with me has disappeared for a year to study for medical exams. I have no one to talk to. Except you guys. You're all I've got right now. So I need to be real. Pardon me if it's pessimistic, but I need someone to be real with.

Post: #440

Man!

Post: #441

Fuck me, is nobody living close enough to this guy to shake him up a bit? Drag him down the gym? Spend the afternoon shooting tin cans and barbecuing before hitting on chicks in the evening??

Post: #442

(03-10-2017 10:37 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  How am I going to make money when I can barely drag myself out of bed? When the reason I can't drag myself out of bed is because I don't have a girl (or any hope of finding one), and I don't have a girl because I don't have money, and I don't have money because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money, because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money...

This is why girls are repelled by you.

Your life revolves around trying to find a girl. You think finding a girl will complete you. It won't...

Do you read the Game forum?

Girls should be an addition to your life, not your life. First, because you'll be putting your happiness on the hands of others. Secondly, because they don't want your happiness to depend on them - they want you to lead and follow you.

Everytime you burst out a few posts you're in a different mindset. A few posts ago you wanted to marry the Russian chick, you were convinced she was your soulmate. Now you seem on the verge of suicide.

This has been said before in this thread, but you have psychological and dependence issues. Sorry if that's brash. You should look into that first - game will only exacerbate those issues.

Post: #443

Then fuck optimism.

Go about improving one aspect of your life one day at a time.

Losing weight
Improving your looks - shaving head.
Learning Game - reading.
Making money - finding a good job.

Get a life first, take control of your body in terms of what you can improve.

Then come back to chasing girls.

You are barely 31 - your entire life is ahead of you. You can improve on every front still. What are you going to lose? You are not 70 yet with zero options.

Post: #444

(03-10-2017 11:36 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

(03-10-2017 10:37 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  How am I going to make money when I can barely drag myself out of bed? When the reason I can't drag myself out of bed is because I don't have a girl (or any hope of finding one), and I don't have a girl because I don't have money, and I don't have money because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money, because I can't drag myself out of bed, because I don't have a girl, because I don't have money...

This is why girls are repelled by you.

Your life revolves around trying to find a girl. You think finding a girl will complete you. It won't...

Do you read the Game forum?

Girls should be an addition to your life, not your life. First, because you'll be putting your happiness on the hands of others. Secondly, because they don't want your happiness to depend on them - they want you to lead and follow you.

Everytime you burst out a few posts you're in a different mindset. A few posts ago you wanted to marry the Russian chick, you were convinced she was your soulmate. Now you seem on the verge of suicide.

This has been said before in this thread, but you have psychological and dependence issues. Sorry if that's brash. You should look into that first - game will only exacerbate those issues.

Ok, let's roll with this.

Dependency issues. I get what you're saying, and I'm not disputing that I have them. But my dispute is: How can anyone NOT have them?

I find it truly inconceivable that any guy can be happy without some kind of "feminine presence" in his life. As far as I know, we are yang and they are yin - we are complimentary opposites that are fundamentally, metaphysically interdependent on one another, since the Dawn of Creation. For a yang to exist in completion without a yin is like asking for a magnet with only one pole, or an atom with only protons. It's physically impossible, at the level of the most basic building blocks of the universe.

Now I'm open to being wrong about that. I'm always open to questioning my beliefs, and, if they're shown to be wrong, letting go of them and welcoming new ones. If it's not true, I don't want to believe it. But everything I've ever seen and every moment in this life I've ever experienced have shown me that it IS true.

It hurts. EXISTING hurts. It's like one of the science-fiction movies where the monster says "it hurts to exist, put me out of my misery", and the poor thing's very existence is inextricably made out of suffering. But there's ONE difference between that situation and mine: ONE thing that alleviates the pain. GIRLS.

They do more than alleviate it. They spontaneously transform it into pleasure. Sweetness. All they have to do is be near me. To talk to me. To allow me to bask in the radiant glow of their femininity. And the pain of mere existence is transformed into pleasure. I LOVE being alive on this Earth.

And then they keep walking, and the glow recedes, and I'm back to suffering again.

Every moment of every day hurts. Every moment is a struggle to suppress or ignore or "deal with" the pain enough to function. Every moment of every day, I want to crawl back in bed and go to sleep, and not be conscious, so that the pain of existing will not be there. Every time I've ever smiled, it was fake, because I was in pain underneath. Every approach. Every time I went hiking. Every beautiful sunset I've ever viewed. All were made possible by a suppression/compartmentalization of the pain of sexual isolation. In every one of those moments, I was compartmentalizing it, but just barely. Enough to function without people noticing. Or without them noticing *too much.*

Except when I was near girls.

(And unfortunately, Chinese girls usually don't have this effect. They're too stiff and robotic - they almost never exude any feminine energy. Their vibe is asexual. I finally find a country where the girls will at least pay attention to me and talk to me, and surprise surprise, they don't embody the energy I need in the first place).

I'm not trying to be a beta cucky pedestalizing orbiter here. I'm just telling you what my experience has been. I cannot CONCEIVE of not needing girls. The very idea seems counter to the laws of physics.

But like any good scientist, I'm open to being proved wrong. Go ahead. Have at me. Transform my thinking. It's why I'm here.

Post: #445

Say what you will about yourself, Greenman, but you are probably in the top 5 when it comes to having true grit and honesty on this forum. Few guys have as much heart as you do.

99% of dudes would have quit a long time ago, but you keep fighting.

You moved to Thailand and tried to set up there. You went all around the country and put in your work. It didn't work, but fuck it. A lot of dudes in your situation are just lurking and jerking it in mom's basement, but you're out there fighting the fight.

Fuck that dude who just came in here with that lame shit. I bet he wouldn't work nearly as hard as you in your situation. Also, it's suspicious as fuck that Master Of My Own Kingdom cosigned that bullshit from Maxzilla with a like. Messed up and very mean-spirited.

99% of dudes on this earth aren't even trying, but you're going out there, facing your battles, winning and losing but you're still out there. That says a lot to me.

That says a lot more about who you are than the problems you encounter. I don't really have any advice for you, but keep going. The determination that you have is really something special. I envy that in you.

We have all been in dire straits. Some worse than others, but remember that Roosh started this forum so that guys like you can speak to likeminded men and make improvements--and you have improved A LOT!

Back when you first started this thread I thought you were a troll, but you've stuck with it for years and proved me wrong, big league.

Post: #446

(03-10-2017 10:40 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  All my friends from back home have moved on and we barely talk. We can't relate to each other anymore. My one friend who still had long conversations with me has disappeared for a year to study for medical exams. I have no one to talk to. Except you guys. You're all I've got right now. So I need to be real. Pardon me if it's pessimistic, but I need someone to be real with.

GM so is the "pain" enough that you'll do what's needed to stop it? Are you willing to take action? REAL ACTION?

I'm not one given to hollow encouragement. "Just hang in there", "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", etc...empty affirmations and platitudes sound and feel good in the moment. ...But those are transient and a waste of time

If you are really willing to do the work needed to change your state then I am willing to share some real life effective tools to accomplish that.

Let me know

Post: #447

GM, do you think great adventures are supposed to be easy?

Post: #448

I used to smoke and sell weed and more, worst years of my life. I was also depressed and unmotivated. Quitting that shit and the culture that surrounds it was the best thing I did. If you're going to spend money on drugs make it something that will enrich your psyche, not degrade it. There are threads of nootropics here and entire forums elsewhere, but I can tell you that my current (varying) stack - choline, noopept and tianeptine improved my life. Piracetam, Semax, and memantine/Huperzine A are also great ones that improve focus, mental snap, and motivation. Tianeptine is a mood lifter, the sodium compound has a terrible taste and short half life but is more effective than the acid, so I'd start with that. These are all cheap and legal.

I also feel the emptiness of needing a woman constantly when I'm in game mode like I am now and not getting any (which I fortunately am). But it doesn't have to be this way, and it is a switch you can turn off. I went a couple months this winter focusing on other hobbies and projects, didn't get laid at all, and didn't miss it. I read books, rebuilt a couple small engines, built cabinets, painted my house interior, designed and redid my entryway, listened to Teaching Company audio courses (free torrents) and other continuing education, did a little bit of paid work, and was generally too busy to give a shit about pussy. If you're doing something you love pussy doesn't matter at all. Some of the most accomplished men in history rarely got laid, and Isaac Newton died a virgin - by choice.

If you're below average in looks and even intelligence (not saying you are) social circle is where it's at. One of the guys I work with is below average height, unattractive by any measure, and below average intelligence. He gets laid regularly, by good looking to hot girls, in America - because he's a good boxer (featherweight, not jacked) and has friends that invite him to parties where girls are, who see him interacting with men who respect him, and he's not afraid to escalate. Even at the bars, if you go our with guys to a regular place and have fun and build a circle there pulling is hugely easier. Cold approach is a tough game, and if you're not having luck at it try something else.

If you shave your head, use a tanning lotion like L'oreal bronze. A good facial(/bald head) tan adds at least half a SMV point. Many men can regrow hair as well with a combination of finasteride/minozidil but beware the sides with fin.

Post: #449

(03-10-2017 12:27 PM)Fortis Wrote:  Say what you will about yourself, Greenman, but you are probably in the top 5 when it comes to having true grit and honesty on this forum. Few guys have as much heart as you do.

99% of dudes would have quit a long time ago, but you keep fighting.

You moved to Thailand and tried to set up there. You went all around the country and put in your work. It didn't work, but fuck it. A lot of dudes in your situation are just lurking and jerking it in mom's basement, but you're out there fighting the fight.

Fuck that dude who just came in here with that lame shit. I bet he wouldn't work nearly as hard as you in your situation. Also, it's suspicious as fuck that Master Of My Own Kingdom cosigned that bullshit from Maxzilla with a like. Messed up and very mean-spirited.

99% of dudes on this earth aren't even trying, but you're going out there, facing your battles, winning and losing but you're still out there. That says a lot to me.

That says a lot more about who you are than the problems you encounter. I don't really have any advice for you, but keep going. The determination that you have is really something special. I envy that in you.

We have all been in dire straits. Some worse than others, but remember that Roosh started this forum so that guys like you can speak to likeminded men and make improvements--and you have improved A LOT!

Back when you first started this thread I thought you were a troll, but you've stuck with it for years and proved me wrong, big league.

Thank you so much, Fortis. It means a lot, hearing this. For the record, I will never give up. Even if I were to die, I would reincarnate immediately and bang chicks as soon as I hit puberty.

Post: #450

(03-10-2017 01:55 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(03-10-2017 10:40 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  All my friends from back home have moved on and we barely talk. We can't relate to each other anymore. My one friend who still had long conversations with me has disappeared for a year to study for medical exams. I have no one to talk to. Except you guys. You're all I've got right now. So I need to be real. Pardon me if it's pessimistic, but I need someone to be real with.

GM so is the "pain" enough that you'll do what's needed to stop it? Are you willing to take action? REAL ACTION?

I'm not one given to hollow encouragement. "Just hang in there", "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", etc...empty affirmations and platitudes sound and feel good in the moment. ...But those are transient and a waste of time

If you are really willing to do the work needed to change your state then I am willing to share some real life effective tools to accomplish that.

Let me know

Absolutely. Of course I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I thought that was painfully obvious already... but if you want a big ol' "YES" anyway (affirmative consent and all , then here it is: YES. Show me what you got.