(08-13-2015 08:21 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Caracticus you may need to double down. Your lawyers suck.

Yeah, I don't even know where to start with that post he made above. He is talking about a "feminist cunt in a robe," yet it looks like he screwed himself over by signing an unfair agreement. Unless the case went to trial and the judge did something crazy (in which case you may have appealable issues), I don't see how anything is the judge's fault. I have been doing this for a while and I think every single time I heard of somebody paying crazy amounts of money to divorce lawyers, they themselves received horrible results. This stuff needs to be worked out in the form of fair Separation Agreements incorporated into Judgments of Divorce. If you can't enter into a fair written agreement before filing for divorce, then file a Complaint and continue to try your best to work things out and put it in writing. If you still can't work it out, go to trial and be fully prepared. Family law cases should never go to trial, mostly because unless the parties are complete retards, it is in everyone's best interest to know what you are getting before stepping into a courtroom. I've seen more people screwed in trials in family cases than I can count. Work the cases out.

Caractacus Potts,

It's definitely worth a sit down with your (former ?) attorney and figuring out what your options are. Just out of curiosity, was your attorney female ?

The upside is that (and this is important to remember) your attorney works for you. Not your ex, YOU. You're the boss, he's the employee. You're the one calling the shots.

The potential downside here is that because the decree is already stamped and signed (an assumption based on your post, correct me if I'm wrong), there will be considerably more fees associated with now having to 'renegotiate' the decree.

While it may poke your inner beast, her father's money has nothing to do with your kids.

Curious, what positives did you end up with ? 50/50 ? Equal parenting time ? How about Right Of First Refusal ?

(08-13-2015 08:30 PM)Onto Wrote:  We know the Family court system is designed to fuck over Fathers.

I read stuff like this on the forum and hear people say it, but it really hasn't been my experience and I have represented a pretty equal number of mothers and fathers over the years. If anything, there has been an increase in recent years of fathers getting custody and receiving child support. Very often, the kids are with the mother, a credible incident of abuse onto the children is alleged, and the father is then awarded temporary custody of not only the allegedly abused child, but also any other children who were previously in the mother's care and custody. Why is this done? Mostly because judges don't want their names all over the news for allowing a mother who is likely abusive to continue to have custody of her children, then having something drastic happen. Once some form of temporary custody is given to the father, as long as things go reasonably well when the child is in the father's care, the father then has an excellent chance of being granted permanent custody. It's really not uncommon.

^ most those clowns can't do trial on thier best day and just rake cases in to collect and fuck your ass.

I've never been married this is common knowledge.

(08-13-2015 08:42 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  ^ most those clowns can't do trial on thier best day and just rake cases in to collect and fuck your ass.

I've never been married this is common knowledge.

And most potential clients don't have enough sense to sniff out the ones who actually can go to trial, so often the least competent attorneys have the most cases, earn the most money, and get the worst results. People need to do some serious research before hiring an attorney.

Pretty much, Merenguero,

A few attorneys in my area advertise themselves as 'father friendly', when all they are are mediators and not litigators. And the mediator's goal is to close a deal and avoid going to court, not what's "fair". Lean on whichever side will bend, and get them to concede on everything until they have no chips left. Either way, the lawyers still get paid.

Whenever anyone needs an attorney, the key is finding a litigator.

A litigator can mediate, but a mediator cannot litigate.

(08-13-2015 08:41 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 08:30 PM)Onto Wrote:  We know the Family court system is designed to fuck over Fathers.

I read stuff like this on the forum and hear people say it, but it really hasn't been my experience and I have represented a pretty equal number of mothers and fathers over the years. If anything, there has been an increase in recent years of fathers getting custody and receiving child support. Very often, the kids are with the mother, a credible incident of abuse onto the children is alleged, and the father is then awarded temporary custody of not only the allegedly abused child, but also any other children who were previously in the mother's care and custody. Why is this done? Mostly because judges don't want their names all over the news for allowing a mother who is likely abusive to continue to have custody of her children, then having something drastic happen. Once some form of temporary custody is given to the father, as long as things go reasonably well when the child is in the father's care, the father then has an excellent chance of being granted permanent custody. It's really not uncommon.

Unless you actually go through the system as a Father, it's really hard to understand.

I would guess lawyers might tend to think it's all fair because:

1) They really want to believe in justice and the law since it's their occupation and their being is tied to it.

2) They are distant from the situation and don't have to live through it or with any of the outcomes.

Your one example of the Father winning is a case where there is "credible" evidence the child is being abused by their Mother and are in danger.

I don't think that's really a common scenario for most Father's in Family court. I know I wouldn't have been able to argue or prove that.

As a father of an adult daughter and son who went through much of the same , just with less zero's attached: Those girls will take after their mother and eventually suck you dry in your old age. Bounce, Homie, Bounce!

(08-13-2015 08:51 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 08:41 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 08:30 PM)Onto Wrote:  We know the Family court system is designed to fuck over Fathers.

I read stuff like this on the forum and hear people say it, but it really hasn't been my experience and I have represented a pretty equal number of mothers and fathers over the years. If anything, there has been an increase in recent years of fathers getting custody and receiving child support. Very often, the kids are with the mother, a credible incident of abuse onto the children is alleged, and the father is then awarded temporary custody of not only the allegedly abused child, but also any other children who were previously in the mother's care and custody. Why is this done? Mostly because judges don't want their names all over the news for allowing a mother who is likely abusive to continue to have custody of her children, then having something drastic happen. Once some form of temporary custody is given to the father, as long as things go reasonably well when the child is in the father's care, the father then has an excellent chance of being granted permanent custody. It's really not uncommon.

Unless you actually go through the system as a Father, it's really hard to understand.

I would guess lawyers might tend to think it's all fair because:

1) They really want to believe in justice and the law since it's their occupation and their being is tied to it.

2) They are distant from the situation and don't have to live through it or with any of the outcomes.

Your one example of the Father winning is a case where there is "credible" evidence the child is being abused by their Mother and are in danger.

I don't think that's really a common scenario for most Father's in Family court. I know I wouldn't have been able to argue or prove that.

It happens all the time. I just had to step away from the forum for a few minutes, because I received a phone call from a father who I am representing who has an emergency hearing tomorrow regarding alleged abuse and now I will be there in court with him.

One of the biggest mistakes fathers can make during a separation (that inevitably leads to a divorce) is moving out.

By doing that, you are effectively telling the court that you are perfectly fine with mom raising the kids. And you lose any negotiating chips you may have.

Merenguero, please tell me that dad had a voice recorder on him...

Merenguero, I'm glad to hear you're there for him and hope you can win him custody. Would you say the "alleged abuse" is a new tool/technique Father's can use? What kind of proof do you need?

It's too late for me to use it, but maybe other guys can benefit.

(08-13-2015 08:50 PM)George is King Wrote:  Pretty much, Merenguero,

A few attorneys in my area advertise themselves as 'father friendly', when all they are are mediators and not litigators. And the mediator's goal is to close a deal and avoid going to court, not what's "fair". Lean on whichever side will bend, and get them to concede on everything until they have no chips left. Either way, the lawyers still get paid.

Whenever anyone needs an attorney, the key is finding a litigator.

A litigator can mediate, but a mediator cannot litigate.

I litigate criminal cases and mediate family cases. In criminal cases, I'm a real bastard. My clients are risking jail and/or deportation and often the only way to get any justice at all is to put as much pressure as possible on the prosecution and take everything to trial. Both prosecutors and defense attorneys see me in court and immediately say, "Is your case going to trial"? I rarely, if ever, hear anyone else asked that. In family law cases, I do everything I possibly can to settle the cases and am extremely reasonable.

(08-13-2015 09:03 PM)Onto Wrote:  Merenguero, I'm glad to hear you're there for him and hope you can win him custody. Would you say the "alleged abuse" is a new tool/technique Father's can use? What kind of proof do you need?

It's too late for me to use it, but maybe other guys can benefit.

I don't think it's a tool, but abuse by either party is a serious issue and is a huge factor in deciding custody. Often social workers will become involved in order to investigate claims of abuse and if the social worker decides finds that there was abuse, a judge will usually accept the social worker's recommendation. There is no need to make up stories ever, but if there really is abuse, the children need to be protected, which usually means placing them in the care and custody of the nonabusive parent.

That's cool you're a litigator, Merenguero,

Heck, > 90% of divorce cases get settled on the courthouse steps when both parties are being reasonable.
And good attorneys will be upfront with their clients, especially in that 11th hour. Explaining to the client that going to court can end up costing them thousands of dollars more, for the same results they could have had in the hallway. Or worse yet, losing ground.
Too many emotions flying around during a divorce, one party wants to 'stick it' to the other one. And the kids get lost in the shuffle.

But if you did have to step into a courtroom for a family law case, I'd rather have the guy (like yourself) that knows what he's doing.

And that's where doing the homework and the research on attorneys comes in.

"If Women Didn't Have a Pussy, There would be a Bounty on Them"-Anonymous

(08-13-2015 06:09 PM)Caractacus Potts Wrote:  A question for my older compatriots who are divorced and paying child support...
...

I told her months ago that I don't care what the decree says. She stole $200k from my retirement accounts; cost me over $100k in attorney's fees (which I am still paying); ran up $160k worth of CC debt while we were married (paid her cards off three times); ran up $30k on my credit card buying stuff for her affair partner, their business and travel for the two of them; is going to cost me $250k in child support by the time this is done, etc.

The truth is I don't have the money. I am paying the attorneys for another year and a half in spite of the remarkably shitty deal they got me. My own attorneys took me to court.

Her father has money. The business that I financed is doing very well and I have not seen a penny from it. I don't know if she is playing chicken with me or not. I have not responded yet.
....

First of all you might consider asking a Red Pill legal aide - seems to me like you were not only screwed over by your wife, but also by your lawyers.

In addition I would try to get financial reports of the business you have financed. If you have no legal claim, then you can at least get proof of your investments or some transfer payments you made to that respect.

Second - you should not continue to feel guilty towards your children. I know that the world tries to instill a kind of "father has to always provide" mentality. That contract is only valid if it is designed in a fair way - the last time this was the case was around 1910 in the US and 1880 in the UK. Back then your wife would not have gotten a penny and your children would be by your side. She could have packed her shit and would be out with a suitcase. Nowadays the system takes fathers to the cleaners while instilling 1880-style responsibility in them.

You need to distance yourself from those thoughts. Read the site Rational Male & order the books - that will help you.

You did all you could for your family and it won't hurt your daughters to taste public school for a while, though I doubt that it will come to that. Your wife likely uses that for a further shakedown. You should draw the line, tell also your wife's family in writing the exact amount you have paid incl. legal costs - list it all down. Send it to them if need be personally. Tell them that you currently are unable to pay more.

And tell your daughters that you love them nonetheless.

Society wonders why men don't want to get married..... I recently saw a homeless dude who was thrown out by his ex-wife and could not afford even his own place. He befriended a guy who tried to date a girl of mine and that's how I heard from him. I saw the shanty town he was living in now. There are other men out there in much worse situations. As a man you have to train yourself in both love AND DETACHMENT - like a Zen Ronin Samurai. Your ability to pay or not to pay for your daughters private schooling does not define you. I have also met enough Dark Triad Alpha dads to know how they think. You would be surprised to see their children still adoring (or hating them - but the reason not being financial) regardless whether they have provided financially or not. Alpha fun should be the default setting - not Beta Provider - the same Game concepts work on daughters.

Good luck!

(08-04-2015 10:17 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  I am looking at the second half of my life and I will try to get as young as I can but I am also very leery of trying to lock down some 22 YO hottie when I am 54 or 55. I may be able to do it, just because she does not even know what she wants yet. But whta are the chances of that lasting long term? I am not in the mood to do it all over again five years down the road at 60. I don't want to fight this battle forever.

Yeah chasing and screening girls sucks. If you're in the First World you're probably right , you can't keep a hot one as she realizes her party value.

That's a good story with the 25 YO wife that went out at night. I am definitely clarifying wife is not doing that before she marries me. And if she does it anyway, she's out very soon. I don't view marriage as sacred, it continues as long as it's a benefit to me.

If you're at the source, it's easier to just get new young ones if that's what you like.

I find myself completely unattracted to women that aren't fertile, that's the problem for me.

great thread, read most of the 18 pages. I just celebrated the 28th anniversary of my 29th birthday. I got out of the bay area rat race and moved up into the country well prior to The Enlightenment that happened about 5 years ago. Only to now find the country filled with crackheads, vast seas of muffin top, and women with "summer teeth" where some are there and some are missing. Finding an attractive single woman without all the entitlement who has her shit together in this town and surrounding areas is unicorn hunting, but gotta always be working to be laying the 5 bricks every day.

However no matter how great country living itself is, it's tough to feel a level of abundance here, but fuck it, you do what you need to. Extended small harem within 2hrs and one 6 states away, they all take a ton of time, but the upside is that it keeps my head right about getting too involved with any of them. 80% built via online game, the rest are randoms via friends, work associations, cold street opens, etc.

Keep looking for game information oriented towards the silverbacks, just no real info out there. If you've got your life and your shit together at this age its like shooting fish in a barrel, the problem is that there are no 10's, there are no 9's, there are no 8's, a later 40/early 50ish 7 is a unicorn. Post wall dynamics ensure that project 5's and project 6's are the rule of the day. And women in their late 30's who might still have their looks are a hot mess as well with kids, family commitments, and incredible entitlement issues because vagina.

There is no win here, so you learn to do what you need to for yourself. Extended pump and dump is a viable strategy, but lots of desperation coming at you in the meanwhile with vain attempts at "no pussy till commitment" game being thrown at you. To which the response is "doubtful, that shit is earned first well before any conversations about monogamy will happen, I wouldn't buy a car without driving it first right?".

> I find myself completely unattracted to women that aren't fertile, that's the problem for me.

fuck, is this the deal with looking at older post menopausal women and having my dick remind me that there is no way that it will work if this is what it has to work with?? Makes sense

> but I am also very leery of trying to lock down some 22 YO hottie when I am 54 or 55. I may be able to do it, just because she does not even know what she wants yet. But whta are the chances of that lasting long term? I am not in the mood to do it all over again five years down the road at 60. I don't want to fight this battle forever.

why in the hell would you want it to last long term??? You planning on trying to get married again or something, give the other half of what wasn't taken from you the first time to someone else? At 60 I'll be even more awesome that I am right now. Why have 1 woman who will bore me soon enough when I can rotate 4 or 5 to entertain me? You're looking at this wrong, or not in which case you leave more for me to play with. Either way we all die alone.

(08-13-2015 08:21 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Caracticus you may need to double down. Your lawyers suck.

At this point his kids are being USED as a WEAPON AGAINST him...

Mother nature gave you the ability to beef inject a billion plus swimmers at a time - you can always have more kids in a male friendly country after you legally change your name and get a new identity in the new Neoman friendly land.

The kids minds have been poisoned against him anyways - so he is now just drinking from a poisoned well.

(08-14-2015 03:55 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 08:21 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Caracticus you may need to double down. Your lawyers suck.

At this point his kids are being USED as a WEAPON AGAINST him...

Mother nature gave you the ability to beef inject a billion plus swimmers at a time - you can always have more kids in a male friendly country after you legally change your name and get a new identity in the new Neoman friendly land.

The kids minds have been poisoned against him anyways - so he is now just drinking from a poisoned well.

Not really it's salvageable. He just needs the right guy to help him.

Also these problems wont go away unless you take your kids and much as possible.

I'm playing with Shopkins tonight what are ya'll doing?

(08-13-2015 09:03 PM)George is King Wrote:  One of the biggest mistakes fathers can make during a separation (that inevitably leads to a divorce) is moving out.

Good point, but I would add that moving out without taking the children with you is what really screws you. If you plan on moving out and have any intention of seeking custody at all, take the children with you. Moving out in and of itself is not a killer. Remember, if there are marital problems, most people will expect one of the parties to move out and often you have to do so in order to avoid domestic violence allegations or worse. Often one of the parties files a domestic violence petition for the sole purpose of getting the other party thrown out of the house. At that point, a protective order becomes a sword, rather than a shield. If you plan on standing your ground by staying in the house, plan on getting hit with a domestic violence petition and possibly having to leave the home involuntarily without the kids.

Edit:
Someone on here wrote something which was really on point (not about family law) and I can't find the post in order to respond to it.

Just to clarify, Merenguero, I'm not attempting to challenge you, just trying to give a perspective from the dad's position, and the things that he can do so he doesn't get bent over a barrel.

^^^ On the domestic violence charge:

Keep a digital recorder running on you at all times.
All it takes is a call from the wife to local law enforcement. The cops show up, she's got a (self inflicted) bruise, and guess who the white knights are going to throw in the back of the squad car ?
The recorder isn't for use in the divorce, it's to prove to the cops that you didn't do a damn thing. And then you have her arrested for filing a false DV charge.
"I can't one-party record in my state", you say ? I'd rather be staring down a recording charge instead of a (false) domestic violence charge. For further proof, search a few of the false rape threads.
It's your word against hers without that digital recorder.

Leave with the kids, and the remaining parent can file a petition to have the children returned to the marital home. But that's a tough sell if there's no action on file with the court. Until there is, she's simply on vacation with the kids.
Best bet is to co-habitate, and move you or her to another room in the house, at least until custody is figured out. In stone, not what she says or agrees to. You can bet she'll place her boot on your neck if there's money in it for her.

Speaking of money, don't give her any unless the court tells you to. Kids need clothes, YOU take them shopping. School supplies ? YOU go get them.

Got money you want to protect (and to finance your divorce) ? Withdrawals in small increments, over the course of X days/weeks/months, BEFORE you file for divorce.
After you file, it's just like golf. You play it where it is.

Afraid she'll pawn the kids off on a relative (or worse), especially if you're already not seeing them as often as you like ? Get a Right Of First Refusal written in your decree, with a four hour time limit.
If the ex wants to go play with her friends, fine. If she's gonna be gone for more than four hours, she has to ask you FIRST if you want the kids during that time.

Too many dads, for so long, have been falling on their swords in the name of society teaching them that "mom can raise the kids better". I call bullshit on that. The only two things a woman can do that a man can't are gestation and lactation.

Time for dads to start taking the divorce red pill.

(08-14-2015 08:14 PM)George is King Wrote:  Just to clarify, Merenguero, I'm not attempting to challenge you, just trying to give a perspective from the dad's position, and the things that he can do so he doesn't get bent over a barrel.

^^^ On the domestic violence charge:

Keep a digital recorder running on you at all times.
All it takes is a call from the wife to local law enforcement. The cops show up, she's got a (self inflicted) bruise, and guess who the white knights are going to throw in the back of the squad car ?
The recorder isn't for use in the divorce, it's to prove to the cops that you didn't do a damn thing. And then you have her arrested for filing a false DV charge.

Leave with the kids, and the remaining parent can file a petition to have the children returned to the marital home. But that's a tough sell if there's no action on file with the court. Until there is, she's simply on vacation with the kids.
Best bet is to co-habitate, and move you or her to another room in the house, at least until custody is figured out. In stone, not what she says or agrees to. You can bet she'll place her boot on your neck if there's money in it for her.

Speaking of money, don't give her any unless the court tells you to. Kids need clothes, YOU take them shopping. School supplies ? YOU go get them.

Got money you want to protect (and to finance your divorce) ? Withdrawals in small increments, over the course of X days/weeks/months, BEFORE you file for divorce.
After you file, it's just like golf. You play it where it is.

Afraid she'll pawn the kids off on a relative (or worse), especially if you're already not seeing them as often as you like ? Get a Right Of First Refusal written in your decree, with a four hour time limit.
If the ex wants to go play with her friends, fine. If she's gonna be gone for more than four hours, she has to ask you FIRST if you want the kids during that time.

Too many dads, for so long, have been falling on their swords in the name of society teaching them that "mom can raise the kids better". I call bullshit on that. The only two things a woman can do that a man can't are gestation and lactation.

Time for dads to start taking the divorce red pill.

I've been doing this for a while and I've never once seen a judge order a father who left the home with the children to return the children to the home. Not once. I have maybe seen about fifty attempts at Emergency Motions to have them returned, but have never seen one granted. That doesn't mean it couldn't happen. The logic behind denying the motions is that the children are still in the custody of a parent and if there is no proof of any physical or serious emotional harm to the children, there is no reason for the court to step in at that point. Judges understand that the parties will likely be going through a divorce and/or custody proceedings and one of the parties simply had to move out in order to initiate the proceeding. Leaving without the children is far worse. There are cases in which one party leaves with the children, then the other party files a domestic violence petition in order to be granted temporary custody. In many of those cases, it is quite obvious that the party seeking a protective order was motivated by revenge and/or filing the petition merely to have the children returned to him or her.

I agree with the thing about not giving money unless the court orders it or at the very least, until the other party files a Complaint. If your state only makes child support retroactive to the date on which the party files a Complaint, paying anything prior to the filing date is just not smart. If you do pay anything, never, ever pay cash. Checks, money orders, or through some governmental agency which handles child support payments are the only way.

I agree with the right of first refusal comment. That tactic is rarely used, but I think it is a smart move.

Thanks to everyone for replying. I just needed to vent.

My ex always said she was not going to be a stay at home mom. She said that she liked to work and that she was good at it. Which is true.

It was great in the beginning. She is a former model. She was in New York the third week of every month for photo shoots and twice a year in Miami. When we were dating it was great. All I had to do was buy a ticket on Southwest. Hotel rooms paid for; photo shoots catered and also a per diem for food.

When we got married she was pregnant. It was an oops pregnancy.(Yeah right). Looking back on it we had just crossed in the SMV rankings. I was 30 and she was 31.

She had been married once before. She told me that she probably should not have married the first guy. Oh yeah, she also had had an affair with a well known married college basketball coach from her alma mater. Red flags anyone??

The divorce dragged out for almost three years because I was the most blue pill (cyan?) beta ever. She was cheating on me and I was apologizing to her and begging her to stay! WTF!

I bought these books and courses on Divorce Busting and Married Man Sex Life. It did no good. She had everything planned and executed it to perfection.

I refused to move out so she did. Instead of immediately filing and suing for custody (she did not take the kids) I hoped we could work it out in counseling. She was out for two years when she filed. She met the Illinois statute for living separate and apart.

Her attorney hit me with everything. John is dangerous. He owns guns. Lori is worried about her safety and the safety of the girls. Shitstain asked the court for an Order of Protection barring me from coming within 300 yards of him.

My first attorney dropped the ball. He had too many things going on. He failed to show for court once and on that day her attorney pounced. He asked for (and was granted) "temporary custody and child support". I had to play catch up ever after.

The second attorney was a recommendation from my brother in laws attorney. He told me "you can't buy the kind of influence he has with the judge. If her attorney know the extent of their relationship he would request a new judge." My new attorney had represented the judge in her divorce! How could I lose??

Guess what? It didn't matter. The judge told my attorney "I am not going to punish her for her bad behaviour." I had cc bills showing that she was staying at hotels with shitstain while I was out of state at the ICU with my oldest daughter.

She would ask the nanny to stay so that she didn't have to come home. I should have listened to Krystynna. She was an older Polish woman. She told me something was going on.

l didn't believe her because my ex told me that her ex-husband cheated on her when her mother was dying. There was no way she would do that do me while our daughter was dying, right? Wrong.

Looking back on it now it is all so obvious. I should have beat the ever loving shit out of the two of them. She told me one night that he is afraid of me. I told her that he should be. Of course that made it back to the judge.

Her attorney dragged this out for years. She claimed that she wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible so that the attorneys wouldn't take all the money. Guess what? They took all of mine.

By Illinois law she would have only been "entitled" to about $65K of me retirement money. The day of the trial I called my attorney and told him tell her attorney $100K and we are done. Her attorney declined it. He countered when we got to the court house with $200K. I screamed at him "Fuck You!" and nearly threw him over the railing.

The reason for the $200K? He told my attorney "She will have to pay the taxes and early withdrawal penalties on the money and I still need to get paid." Fucking Shylock!

They did not negotiate in good faith in anything. I read the proposed settlement agreenment on a Friday. I sent all of my corrections and demands to my attorneys to send to her attorney before we returned to court on Monday. When I got to court on Monday they had not changed a fucking thing!

I exploded. They said "Well, they won't agree to any of your terms." I was like who the fuck do you work for?

My brother in law is an attorney and does a lot of M&A stuff. He told me to be sure that they put in the Settlement that they" affirm and avow that they have produced and shared any and all financials, etc. If it comes to light later that obfuscated or withheld anything then the whole agreement would be null and void." They didn't put it in. Why? Well, her attorney won't agree to that.

At this point I had paid them $80K and had an outstanding balance of $20K. They knew I had no more money to spend. They didn't want to go to trial because they knew it would generate another $20-40K in billing and that they would have to chase me for it.

I refused the terms of the settlement offer and said "Well, I guess we are going to trial."

At that point my attorney said,"if you don't sign it you will need to find new counsel."

So she got everything. Sole custody. Child support. Kids still on my health insurance. I am supposed to turn over my check stubs every six months so they can verify that I am paying enough in child support.

I told them then I want her tax returns every year. Of course that was met with "her attorney won't agree to that." I said if I am paying for everything then I am claiming the girls on my taxes every year. "They won't agree to that and the judge will probably award it to her to punish you for asking."


*I had two nights and every other weekend with the kids. I told the attorneys I wanted equal time with the kids. They said that probably wouldn't happen but I wouldn't lose any time. Guess what? I got the state mandated minimum of one night a week and every other weekend!

I fucking lost it. I was screaming at them in the anteroom. "You told me there was no way I was losing any time with the girls. Are you two always this incompetent or is it just me?"

The fucking GAL had one sit down meeting with her and the girls at the house that she was renting. I told him I wanted the same courtesy. I wanted him to come to my condo to see me and how the girls and I interact. He refused. He said it wasn't necessary. Fuck you Howard!

I have since done a lot of homework on her attorney, the GAL, my attorneys and the judge. God bless Google. Names, addresses, children's names and schools they are attending, etc.

If I am ever diagnosed with a terminal illness and only given six months to live, keep your eyes on CNN and FOX because you will be hearing about me.

I swore to defend this country against all enemies; foreign and DOMESTIC
.

Anyone who has chosen to place themselves between me and my children; to threaten my livelihood and to profit off of the suffering of my children has chosen to make themselves my enemy. Not a smart choice. Keep pushing me and fathers like me and see what happens.

PS I am a little drunk right now.

Caractacus:
Are you saying that your ex-wife left the home, left the kids with you, nothing was filed for two years, and you somehow lost custody?