Post: #251

"whoo wee! I had bigger dicks ya know my ex was a porn star ya know but ya sure know how to make a girl holler!"

I think the thick georgia accent was what made this so funny...laughed the entire day.


Little backstory: After about 2 hrs wearing down my old high school friend , who happens to be in love and married . I made her experience her first squirt had windows fogged up , room smelling like some whore house.... turns to me and says

"Fuck you , fuck you....I hate you!"

Ofcourse she never spoke to me again but I felt like a boss tho...hahaha

Post: #252

Me fucking her in doggy. She turns to me and says "Your not going to slap my ass?"

Post: #253

Seconds after I finished thrusting "Aah my vagina is sore!"

Post: #254

First time fucking this girl... she grabs my arm as I open a condom and says "no condom, I want you to fuck me doggystyle and come on me."

I mean. Who was I to say no?

Post: #255

"Fuck my ass... and don't be kind"

Post: #256

"My husband is a one minute Man, I already came twice"... Uh wait you're married...

Post: #257

"God you're such an asshole"
"You're very considerate"
Same woman BTW

"That day when you chickened out, I wanted you to f**k me in that slushy sand."

Post: #258

This just in from a polish girl I picked up on the bus last year., I hadn't talked to her in a while and hit her up the other day:

"One more thing: you know you were the first man I had sex with. Because of the unprotected oral encounter, I am still concerned about STD's. Can you tell me please, if you have ever been tested? I'm sorry for the question. You know, my concern is one of the reasons I never came back again."

Post: #259

Why do you get so hard when I cry?

Post: #260

Oh and last weekend:

"I wanna suck your dick, but my friend wants to fuck you and I'm not trying to twat-swap. Give me your number and then let's get back to her if you want her pussy tonight, before she gets all suspicious."

Post: #261

This past weekend I as i was saying goodbye she said "thanks for the fornication"

(Rusian girl who has been improving her vocabulary!)

Another Russian girl I was with last Summer said (after a long session) "oh, wow, you're my sexual terrorist!"

Gotta love some of these foreign ladies and their English experimentation!

Post: #262

^ I like that "thanks for the fornication" I think I'm going to say that to my next girl.

Post: #263

"you are my Indian love man" - shit still has me laughing years after

"I want your seed inside me, like this I have good day" - Polish chick after morning shag

"My legs are shaking"

"you made me cum 7 times with your fingers, what am I going to tell my friends" -still can't figure this one out hahahr

"bin laden" - I've been called terrorist names several times in bed by latina chicks. I must be terrorizing them pussy's real good lol.

Post: #264

@007 bin laden !? Cracks me up

Post: #265

A couple of months ago

Her: I can't believe your in my bed.
Me:
Her: It's just your just so beautiful.

Post: #266

I had a rough day yesterday and the girl I'm dating offered to come over and make it better for me. After some fun last night and then again this morning, we took a shower together. She got out first so I only had time to towel off and throw some dirty jeans on and walk her to my front door where I stood watching as she got in her car. Later she texted me:

<SaltySpice> You look so sexy standing in the door with your shirt off and the sun on you...made me want to stay. hope you have a good day

(03-11-2014 12:56 AM)TheMaskAndRose Wrote:  Why do you get so hard when I cry?

Get all serious...look deep into her eyes and say, "Because baby, tears make the best lube"

Post: #267

Crazy 32 year old Colombian chick "Why can't you just be a man and commit?"

Post: #268

Yesterday a girl told me that she likes to be called a dirty slut in bed because it makes her feel at ease.

At first I was:


Then I realized that the verbal recognition of what is happening is a display of social intelligence and you not putting her on a pedestal. She knows what she is doing goes against nature, and by you acknowledging out loud, you are showing that you are a man who knows right from wrong.

This why the nice guy approach fails- trying to make her comfortable or putting her on a pedestal for hooking up with you like a slut goes against nature.

Denigrate your women!

Post: #269

I lose focus and drop my 'game' the moments after a lay. So I was being honest about stuff and being like "I'm a really shy/timid guy." (or something to that affect).

She responded, "Really?... Cause you're kinda a Boss."

Same girl months later and after the bang.
"Thanks, I really needed that. I didn't know I needed that. But I needed that."

Post: #270

"I'm addicted of you".

Wald

Post: #271

"I've been a bad girl. You should hog-tie me again."

Post: #272

All you want from me is sex.
We never have sex.

Both from the same girl in the same conversation after I broke up with her.

Post: #273

Fresh from last week in Vietnam(said in heavy Vietnamese accent):
"The best [heavy breath] orgasm [heavy breath] in my life"

Same girl after 4 consecutive days of fairly rough sex:
"You make me huuurt, You make me weeet, you make me hornyyy... why I still be with you!?"

Post: #274

"OOOOOHHHH LECHE!!! LECHE!!!!"

Post: #275

"Now that was smooth"

"Grr how do you do that? I swear... the gene that makes someone able to park, it must be located inside the penis."