(02-02-2015 02:22 AM)sandman972 Wrote:  Ok I meet this cutie who works at a yogurt shop coming home late one night.

Take her for a first date. Went well. Got her up to my place briefly but no lay but seems very into me. No biggie ill play date #2.

Setting up date 2:

Me: hey whats up, lets do drinks and nargila at X location..i can do mon or wed

Her: Hey...Im actually working on both days so I cant


Havent responded yet. Her response is dull to say the least. My gut says disinterest. Even if she is actually working, she didnt give any hint of trying to make it work or give some sort of counter offer.

Thinking of responding with a "gay" or radio silence. What you guys thinking?

try:

"good for you! im looking for a rich girl to provide for me so it's good youre bringing home the bacon"

Delete

(02-02-2015 02:22 AM)sandman972 Wrote:  Ok I meet this cutie who works at a yogurt shop coming home late one night.

Take her for a first date. Went well. Got her up to my place briefly but no lay but seems very into me. No biggie ill play date #2.

Setting up date 2:

Me: hey whats up, lets do drinks and nargila at X location..i can do mon or wed

Her: Hey...Im actually working on both days so I cant


Havent responded yet. Her response is dull to say the least. My gut says disinterest. Even if she is actually working, she didnt give any hint of trying to make it work or give some sort of counter offer.

Thinking of responding with a "gay" or radio silence. What you guys thinking?

Do you have emoji on your phone? Send her the poop emoji and nothing else.

So I've been trying to get a date with a particular girl for about six weeks now.

When I straight up told her we should hang out and I wasn't interested in being friends, she said sure we could hang out, but was busy for the coming weeks, and as time has gone by, she's seeming more and more lukewarm. I've contacted her about once every 1-1.5 weeks. So basically, this is a NEXT. We spoke on the phone Sunday, and she said she'd hit me up when she was back in town. It feels like she's doing it just to be friendly to me.

Should I just ignore and see if she comes to me, or write her and set boundaries NOW and say "sup, it seems like you're not really clear about what you want, so maybe it's better we don't meet".

What's the more productive angle?

(02-03-2015 01:10 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  So I've been trying to get a date with a particular girl for about six weeks now.

When I straight up told her we should hang out and I wasn't interested in being friends, she said sure we could hang out, but was busy for the coming weeks, and as time has gone by, she's seeming more and more lukewarm. I've contacted her about once every 1-1.5 weeks. So basically, this is a NEXT. We spoke on the phone Sunday, and she said she'd hit me up when she was back in town. It feels like she's doing it just to be friendly to me.

Should I just ignore and see if she comes to me, or write her and set boundaries NOW and say "sup, it seems like you're not really clear about what you want, so maybe it's better we don't meet".

What's the more productive angle?

Sounds like she isn't hooked enough where she'll feel that sense of loss. Alternatively - IMO strong frame control would be the way to go. 'Look. Lets set a date or hang out. X time Y place.' and she if doesnt respond its a NEXT

(01-29-2015 09:39 PM)ordinaryleastsquared Wrote:  I'd appreciate some advice with this situation:

Met up with a girl sunday off okc, had several drinks at the bar and hung out there for almost 2 hours (I usually keep this to ~1 hour, but we were actually having a fun conversation). We go back to my place/make some pasta/ watch a movie/make out on and off for about an hour. At this point its after 1 and we both had to be up around 7, so I decided to not escalate and call it a night (of course maybe this was where I screwed up, who knows).

As she's leaving she tells me if I'd like to hangout fri/sat to let her know. I text her on Wednesday:

Me- Hey I'm going to a happy hour friday with some friends from work, but should be free around 9. Let me know if you'd like to chill afterwards.

Her-Radio silence

?? Seems like I played my cards right, and she seemed into me, though she is 23.. Frustrating.

23 yrs old - the time lapse between sunday and wednesday is too long. She's have way too many life experiences in her silly mind in 3 days. I'd text her 2-3 times more but the main lesson to learn here is IF A CHICK IS IN YOUR BED YOU ALWAYS ESCALATE. Go to work on no sleep if you have time. The hard part is done

(02-03-2015 02:10 AM)LAX Wrote:  Sounds like she isn't hooked enough where she'll feel that sense of loss. Alternatively - IMO strong frame control would be the way to go. 'Look. Lets set a date or hang out. X time Y place.' and she if doesnt respond its a NEXT

Hmm... I'll go for silence then.

okcupid text chain

Me: Let's ride out to Vegas and get married by an Elvis Preacher

her: lmao, I can say that I've never heard that before!

Not sure how to do this. Whenever I use this opener, they always respond with that, but I'm not sure how keep things moving forward in a fresh way.

Next time you get that response just go with "There's a first time for everything... like hanging out with me." or some bullshit like that.

^ Good stuff. I actually didn't reply yet, so I will steal that.

Background: australia chick I met on tinder yesterday. Tried to get her to come out last night, but she couldn't. She offered Friday instead.

Got this text today:

Australia girl @ 2:33pm:

OMG do u know the weather forecast for friday... (emote)

me: Nope. looking bad?

me: All I see is partly cloudy.

Australian girl @ 2:56 pm: Friday night is like -12!

Australia girl: Oh wait that's in deg celsius haha so not sure what it converts too but point is it's cold lol

me: australia, you scared me for a moment! Weather.com has 19 degrees Farenheit posted haha. is sorta cold.

me @ 3:22pm: let's touch base tmrw and see how bad it is. if you're that cold then we'll just meet up some other time

her @ 7:55pm : hahaha it's cold for me because i'm from australia so clearly a hot climate human yea let's wait and see! the venue is pretty near me anyway.

----

Notes: I think I should be less emotional in my texts, so no more "haha," emotes or any sort of emotion. I need to keep them guessing me. I picked up the emotional texting habit becuase I'm into video games and sometimes you need to type something with a bit more "oomph" to make sure your team understands the severity of the situation.

I should also avoid double texting. Now that I typed that shit out, I look like a bitch.

I also probably shouldn't have said, "let's wait and see and if you're cold we'll just met up." I think that is giving her too much in regards to flaking. She seems pretty keen meeting me given that we're in the same city and all that shit.

I'm thinking I'll just not reply tonight and then hit her with "Hey australia, I'll see you at (place) at 9pm. Wear something nice." Assume the sale and just bulldoze.

Thoughts?

This is a chick who was I met in 2013, she had a boyfriend (her freshman year) in a long-distance relationship but was super into me, had a date which I fucked up for the bang. Been slow-rolling it until last fall when she became single, met up away from town w a makeout. However fucked it up w weak text game, still think I can salvage this, or at least do this in a dignified way instead of radio silence. Maybe keep the slow roll planted. Thoughts?

Nothing going down with this girl if she explicitly said "friends". Move on.

(02-05-2015 10:33 PM)EnemyCombatant Wrote:  This is a chick who was I met in 2013, she had a boyfriend (her freshman year) in a long-distance relationship but was super into me, had a date which I fucked up for the bang. Been slow-rolling it until last fall when she became single, met up away from town w a makeout. However fucked it up w weak text game, still think I can salvage this, or at least do this in a dignified way instead of radio silence. Maybe keep the slow roll planted. Thoughts?

(02-05-2015 10:33 PM)EnemyCombatant Wrote:  This is a chick who was I met in 2013, she had a boyfriend (her freshman year) in a long-distance relationship but was super into me, had a date which I fucked up for the bang. Been slow-rolling it until last fall when she became single, met up away from town w a makeout. However fucked it up w weak text game, still think I can salvage this, or at least do this in a dignified way instead of radio silence. Maybe keep the slow roll planted. Thoughts?

I'd ignore her "as friends" line, and say 11:30 is fine to meet up. Go to the range, have some drinks afterwards, and try to escalate. You don't have much to lose (except some money on ammo). If she's made out with you before, presumably she finds you somewhat attractive. If the escalation fails, then just move on.

Me: "The red dress pic, I swear you look Italian. Were you born here or were you an import?"
Guyanese black tinder chick: "I was born here."
Me: "Shame. I was hoping for that weird accent you guys have"
Guyanese black tinder chick: "Ok bye"

WTF happened? This is the entire exchange, punctuation and capitalization preserved.
I think I should next her, but please explain my mistakes here/better responses.
Thanks.

Anyone want to give me some post-text analysis here?

Backstory: I've been on one date with this girl, and it went very well. During the date she told me how she loved that I confidently asked for her number and told her the time and place of the date. I told her that I like to lead and don't play games over the phone - preferring to be blunt and direct. This led to some cool convos on social dynamics, etc. She's confident and into self-help books, so she may have an inflated sense of self-worth. I couldn't get her back to my place (not for a lack of trying) but I pulled her into an alley afterwards and secured the makeout as she waited for her uber to come. She quickly texted me after thanking me for the invite and that she had fun and that "ubers come at the worst times...". I bantered a bit. I came away very happy from this and confident on setting up a 2nd date. I'd say it was my best 1st date out of ~15-20. That was on Thursday.

Here's our text exchange since (my comments are in bold).

Me (Saturday afternoon): hey happy saturday. I'm trying to find someone to go bowling with tomorrow. wanna be my partner in crime?
Her (few hours later): Hi! Happy Saturday! Sorry I already have plans! [Not looking good. No attempt for a new time]
Me (Monday night): hey we should meet up again later this week if this snow ever stops
Her: It may never stop! [...fuck it I'm gonna push forward anyway]
Me: maybe...how about friday night?
Her: My friend is visiting this weekend Sorry! [Ok she's politely rejecting me. Historically I have given up and gone radio silent 100% of the time here. Given how our first date went, her wishy-washy responses bugged me. I felt like getting in one last word]
Me: alright i get it. too bad i thought we had a good time.
Her (instant response): Maybe one day next week, I had a good time! [Hm, finally some effort on her part...she could have said nothing. Could it be because I made it clear I was nexting her?]
Me: I wasn't gonna keep asking without some feedback . next week could work. [Terrible. I should have just said nothing]


I'll hit her up on Sunday with a "lets get drinks tues @<venue> 8pm" text. If she's into it, cool. If not, whatever.

Anyone have any tips/advice on this exchange? I kinda just hit a tipping point with girls giving me bs excuses instead of flat out rejecting me. It seems like being a little more persistent may work out for me this time, although I'm not too hopeful. Could be worth pushing forward more frequently in the future, but I don't want to be "can't take the hint" guy.

(02-10-2015 05:16 PM)redonion Wrote:  Anyone want to give me some post-text analysis here?

Backstory: I've been on one date with this girl, and it went very well. During the date she told me how she loved that I confidently asked for her number and told her the time and place of the date. I told her that I like to lead and don't play games over the phone - preferring to be blunt and direct. This led to some cool convos on social dynamics, etc. She's confident and into self-help books, so she may have an inflated sense of self-worth. I couldn't get her back to my place (not for a lack of trying) but I pulled her into an alley afterwards and secured the makeout as she waited for her uber to come. She quickly texted me after thanking me for the invite and that she had fun and that "ubers come at the worst times...". I bantered a bit. I came away very happy from this and confident on setting up a 2nd date. I'd say it was my best 1st date out of ~15-20. That was on Thursday.

Here's our text exchange since (my comments are in bold).

Me (Saturday afternoon): hey happy saturday. I'm trying to find someone to go bowling with tomorrow. wanna be my partner in crime?
Her (few hours later): Hi! Happy Saturday! Sorry I already have plans! [Not looking good. No attempt for a new time]
Me (Monday night): hey we should meet up again later this week if this snow ever stops
Her: It may never stop! [...fuck it I'm gonna push forward anyway]
Me: maybe...how about friday night?
Her: My friend is visiting this weekend Sorry! [Ok she's politely rejecting me. Historically I have given up and gone radio silent 100% of the time here. Given how our first date went, her wishy-washy responses bugged me. I felt like getting in one last word]
Me: alright i get it. too bad i thought we had a good time.
Her (instant response): Maybe one day next week, I had a good time! [Hm, finally some effort on her part...she could have said nothing. Could it be because I made it clear I was nexting her?]
Me: I wasn't gonna keep asking without some feedback . next week could work. [Terrible. I should have just said nothing]


I'll hit her up on Sunday with a "lets get drinks tues @<venue> 8pm" text. If she's into it, cool. If not, whatever.

Anyone have any tips/advice on this exchange? I kinda just hit a tipping point with girls giving me bs excuses instead of flat out rejecting me. It seems like being a little more persistent may work out for me this time, although I'm not too hopeful. Could be worth pushing forward more frequently in the future, but I don't want to be "can't take the hint" guy.

Bro read the signs. She aint feeling you. Delete and move on. No counter offer. No signs of wanting to meet up. Especially to your snow comment, and her pretty much responding by saying she hopes to never see you.

Sorry to be harsh, but no point wasting time on weak prospects. Dont give her the time of day and validation, because that's all she wants out of you.

A girl thats interested in you will give you a counter offer. A girl that likes you will open her schedule for you. A girl that likes you wont respond in such an unwelcoming way. Bottom line her tone is saying " leave me the fuck alone, cant you get what Im trying to say?"

Nexxxttt

"I'm looking for someone to go bowling with" is where you lost her. It sounds like she was third option, or fifth. She doesn't feel special. Make the girl feel special.

For example "Hey, I want to go bowling with you. When you're free?"

Bowling isn't really good option for lot of girls, but it could work. Better to say "daydrinking, 1 hours from now." Why? Because she may like to be seen by other people her age, not hang out with families and kids bowling. Bowling is a high risk option, without matching reward.

What would be a good way to start a text convo after this. Btw how can I disarm her slut shield?

Anyone have any clever text openers pre-Valentine's weekend related?

(02-11-2015 12:09 AM)Jestx Wrote:  Anyone have any clever text openers pre-Valentine's weekend related?

lost my v-day teddy... com cuddle

@Spice...Her " I dont just hook up with strangers lol" is a such a common shit test. You should have responded by saying " great i always wait untl the 25th date anyway".

Shes definitely down. She wants to see what you can do, but shes putting up a little LMR to save her soul. Be the confident alpha that you are, and pass her weak shit tests and you got it in the bag. Booze and chocolate covered strawberries.

(02-10-2015 10:52 PM)Spice Wrote:  What would be a good way to start a text convo after this. Btw how can I disarm her slut shield?

You definitely ended that way too fast and submissively man. Won't be surprised if the lead goes cold now.

Anyway, in response to my own text/phone issues I've decided to let loose and just do what I do best - be an overpowering dick.

Approach #1 from yesterday hasn't texted me back and I'm assuming she's a flake.

Approach #2, however, well here's the convo thus far:

Me: whats up metalhead
Her: Hey ___ (my job description)!!! Not much, how about you!!
Me: plotting global conquest. you in?
Her: Yeah!!! What's the plan?? Lmao
Me: I dont divulge my plans so easily. what kind of king does that?
Her: C'mon, and in exchange I'll save a seat in the front row for the "king" at my next concert!!
Me: but I can get that any time. Speaking of, here's sabaton: (link to the band we talked about to build some comfort)
Her: This band is one of the best!!! Keep listening to this great music!! Check out this band...They are HammerFall... I think they will like you!!

Her link didn't go through so I told her to send it again, which she did. It was getting late at that point so I decided to end it there.

Much, much better than what I've been doing. This is probably my best text convo thus far.

Some things to take away from this:

I didn't waste any energy worrying about the "right time to respond" and all that PUA bullshit and me not giving a damn about the outcome. I just let loose with a basic of what I do in my real approaches and a basic blueprint (coming from kaotic and others):

1. Break her state with some douchey attraction texts
2. Build some comfort

Now, this is all experimental so far but it was at a point when I probably should have called her. Again though, I'm just experimenting. Truth be told with Valentines' Day coming up so soon I don't really want to have a date that weekend since it's a game killer IMO (but maybe this is me overthinking things).

I pretty much have a solid plan to what to do going forward (I'll text her later about the band with a douchey remark to again break her state), but any input/feedback is welcome too.

Alright, I commented about the band she sent me last night but no response yet. I'm assuming it fizzled out.

Some lessons from this:

1. I definitely should have called when things were hot (though her response times were a bit lagged - this is a big reason why I hate text).
2. I probably should have told her I was gonna be busy and would talk to her later in the next text instead of suddenly going silent. I was worried about that PUA bullshit mentality of "never be the last to text." Sure, you shouldn't be the last to respond but it shouldn't be a bible. She probably would have responded to the generic parting text anyway.
3. Girls flake very fast, even when the iron is hot (we all knew this already). You need to build up as much momentum as possible to bridge the gap before you see her and that usually means calling.

I also realized that I've been keeping an approach journal but not a texting one. I'm gonna start doing that so I can more readily learn from all these text interactions and get some feedback.

Trying to salvage situation detailed here. Texted her today (day after), translated from Swedish...

ME 10:46 Hey hippie! Hope you avoided broken fingers during basketball practice. There time enough to challenge you to squash or badminton before you go home?

GIRL 17:19 It went great! I've never ever played either squash or badminton but it can't be that hard for a little sister right?

ME 22:23: My god woman, did you skip all PE lessons in school? Hah, we'll see.. you're a quick learner when are you off on tuesday?

GIRL 22:25: Haha ok I played badminton like once in school

GIRL 22:25: Around 16.15 I think

ME 22:34 Alright, squash around 16.45 then? Time to try rich kid sport numero uno!

GIRL 22:35 But I'm really gonna suck at squash!!!

ME 22:40 I'll go easy on you.. it's all about having fun. Or are you a really sore loser?

GIRL 22:45: Haha don't know if I dare

GIRL 22:55 So what are you doing tonight?

ME 23:49 Come on now *name*, worst that can happen is that you catch the ball with your head and get a nice little concussion

My gut is telling me I'm too persistent. I don't want to bring her straight over until I've relaxed about the whole performance anxiety thing, got me really freaked out since it's never happened to me before. Getting some Cialis this week as an insurance too. Want it available if she comes over again.

How would you proceed if she replies?