Post: #401

(03-26-2014 02:02 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  I'm in Paris. Asked this violinist out on a dancing date. Great chemistry and connection. Moved her to my house. Caress, kiss her all over the neck and cheeks but she refuses to make out, though she doesn't move away from me. Then she playfully accuses me of being a player, and how I'm very persistent to get what I want. She mentioned she would like to meet again. Great girl, smart and genuine.

After two days I text her to go grab dinner. She said "I finish late and actually wants to stay quiet until the next week, if you don't mind"

Me: "A quiet exotic dinner will be good for you and your music. How about tmr if u prefer?"

Her: "No thanks, really...."

I'm gaming other girls while waiting, but I dont want to give up on this girl yet. Suggestion? My locals friends here keep saying in Paris you cant kiss close on first date unless it's bar/club, and that I'm coming off too strong. But I don't buy that shit.

Girls have other shit going on in their life. Sometimes their responses have nothing to do with your actions.

Remember that every girl has a menstrual cycle. In this case she might have wanted to have a few quiet days because she got her period.

If you want to improve your calibration, I suggest learning when to push and when to coast and let her come to you. You shouldn't be pushing 100% of the time. In this case, she gave you the hint but you didn't listen.

Post: #402

What's the best way to diffuse a chatty texter? I like texting for logistics only, and this girl I'm talking to is quite chatty. I don't want to be rude but also don't want to be her text buddy. I was able to set up a date already.

Here's the situation.

Met this waitress at bar over the weekend, we talked for about an hour, she bought me and my friends a free round. After awhile she slipped me her number on a piece of paper w/o me asking. I hit her up 2 days later and she responded instantly.

Me: hey its X hows it going
Her: Not bad! How was your saturday night?
Me: good. just chilled out. lets grab drinks this week.
Her: sounds good! idk my days off yet but when i do i'll let ya know
Me: ok
Her (2 hours later): it's so nice out!
Me: ya its great u doing anything fun (note: this was where I first succumb to text small talk)
Her: <something boring>. what about you?
Me: Might play catch later
Her: O ya where do you go?
Me: Some field around the corner
Her (24hr later): sorry got busy yesterday!
Her: <pic of us at bar that some photographer took>
Me: damn we look good
Her (2 hours later): <a snap chat selfie of herself>
Her: do you have snap chat haha
Me: I dont. <joke about her selfie>
Me: do you know ur schedule. we should grab drinks wed (note: had to reel her back in here).
<insert a few texts back and forth setting up logistics>
Her (45 mins later): Have you ever played 2048


I want to transition this into a "you'll find more about me when we hang out in person" frame, but I'm not sure of the best way to do this w/o coming off as weird/stiff. This girl is prob 21-22.

Post: #403

(04-07-2014 05:16 PM)redonion Wrote:  What's the best way to diffuse a chatty texter? I like texting for logistics only, and this girl I'm talking to is quite chatty. I don't want to be rude but also don't want to be her text buddy. I was able to set up a date already.

Here's the situation.

Met this waitress at bar over the weekend, we talked for about an hour, she bought me and my friends a free round. After awhile she slipped me her number on a piece of paper w/o me asking. I hit her up 2 days later and she responded instantly.

Me: hey its X hows it going
Her: Not bad! How was your saturday night?
Me: good. just chilled out. lets grab drinks this week.
Her: sounds good! idk my days off yet but when i do i'll let ya know
Me: ok
Her (2 hours later): it's so nice out!
Me: ya its great u doing anything fun (note: this was where I first succumb to text small talk)
Her: <something boring>. what about you?
Me: Might play catch later
Her: O ya where do you go?
Me: Some field around the corner
Her (24hr later): sorry got busy yesterday!
Her: <pic of us at bar that some photographer took>
Me: damn we look good
Her (2 hours later): <a snap chat selfie of herself>
Her: do you have snap chat haha
Me: I dont. <joke about her selfie>
Me: do you know ur schedule. we should grab drinks wed (note: had to reel her back in here).
<insert a few texts back and forth setting up logistics>
Her (45 mins later): Have you ever played 2048


I want to transition this into a "you'll find more about me when we hang out in person" frame, but I'm not sure of the best way to do this w/o coming off as weird/stiff. This girl is prob 21-22.

The solution is quite easy... you just stop responding to her. Only text her when you want to and if she tries to push the interaction you just stop responding for a few days. When you decide to text her again you hit her with logistic and if she's down she's down if not fuck her next

Post: #404

(04-07-2014 06:43 PM)Sketness Wrote:  

(04-07-2014 05:16 PM)redonion Wrote:  What's the best way to diffuse a chatty texter? I like texting for logistics only, and this girl I'm talking to is quite chatty. I don't want to be rude but also don't want to be her text buddy. I was able to set up a date already.

Here's the situation.

Met this waitress at bar over the weekend, we talked for about an hour, she bought me and my friends a free round. After awhile she slipped me her number on a piece of paper w/o me asking. I hit her up 2 days later and she responded instantly.

Me: hey its X hows it going
Her: Not bad! How was your saturday night?
Me: good. just chilled out. lets grab drinks this week.
Her: sounds good! idk my days off yet but when i do i'll let ya know
Me: ok
Her (2 hours later): it's so nice out!
Me: ya its great u doing anything fun (note: this was where I first succumb to text small talk)
Her: <something boring>. what about you?
Me: Might play catch later
Her: O ya where do you go?
Me: Some field around the corner
Her (24hr later): sorry got busy yesterday!
Her: <pic of us at bar that some photographer took>
Me: damn we look good
Her (2 hours later): <a snap chat selfie of herself>
Her: do you have snap chat haha
Me: I dont. <joke about her selfie>
Me: do you know ur schedule. we should grab drinks wed (note: had to reel her back in here).
<insert a few texts back and forth setting up logistics>
Her (45 mins later): Have you ever played 2048


I want to transition this into a "you'll find more about me when we hang out in person" frame, but I'm not sure of the best way to do this w/o coming off as weird/stiff. This girl is prob 21-22.

The solution is quite easy... you just stop responding to her. Only text her when you want to and if she tries to push the interaction you just stop responding for a few days. When you decide to text her again you hit her with logistic and if she's down she's down if not fuck her next

Just write this:

...

It's miraculous how often the girl wises up from this ambiguous reply and stops dicking around.

Post: #405

(03-28-2014 01:10 AM)Valhalla Wrote:  I asked some girl out on okc, said she was intuiting clever an could banter with me, just some compliments

She replied with shit test of once you prove you're smart enough you'll get my number and more. Then doubled down with you've not made me smile ever once yet.

How do I counter

Yep, definite shit test. I'd probably reply with something like, "ha...ok. ill let the little boys take care of that. im free on (x) night, lets grab drinks"

If she doesn't respond wait until the day of the proposed meet-up, and in the afternoon you could message "confirm....?" Or just don't respond at all if she doesn't respond...next.

Post: #406

give it your best lads

Post: #407

(04-10-2014 05:31 AM)draguer Wrote:  give it your best lads. I'm too drunk to think about it.

Post: #408

Newbie to this forum. But here's where I need help. Went out for drinks with a 30 yr old (I am 27) and had a great time. At end of the night she takes me to eat cookies at her favorite place and then we make out on the street. She's a bit drunk and tells me I want you to act like a man. Haha. So I grab her hand without saying a word and start walking to her place. We reach there make out again and then she says she is going home and wants to see me 2 days later.

My bad that I didn't plow through this moment, but her second date request was sincere to me. So come day 2, she is out rock climbing and gets very late. Texts me multiple times from there that she is sorry and I am probably out already. Take it as a sign that it's genuine (?)

But a day later, texts start dropping and don't see a lot of interest from her side. I still want to plow through this moment and get the second date on. How to restart this fallen off convo ?

PS: In NYC

Post: #409

(04-10-2014 11:23 AM)dancingjohn Wrote:  Newbie to this forum. But here's where I need help. Went out for drinks with a 30 yr old (I am 27) and had a great time. At end of the night she takes me to eat cookies at her favorite place and then we make out on the street. She's a bit drunk and tells me I want you to act like a man. Haha. So I grab her hand without saying a word and start walking to her place. We reach there make out again and then she says she is going home and wants to see me 2 days later.

My bad that I didn't plow through this moment, but her second date request was sincere to me. So come day 2, she is out rock climbing and gets very late. Texts me multiple times from there that she is sorry and I am probably out already. Take it as a sign that it's genuine (?)

But a day later, texts start dropping and don't see a lot of interest from her side. I still want to plow through this moment and get the second date on. How to restart this fallen off convo ?

PS: In NYC

DUDE you are in NYC let that sink in, and you're thinking about a 30 year old?

Post: #410

She's a 7-8. One of this ballerina kind of chicks.

Post: #411

(04-10-2014 02:20 PM)dancingjohn Wrote:  She's a 7-8. One of this ballerina kind of chicks.

Can you post what you've said to her and her to you? Kind of hard to see where things went wrong (other than the obvious that you didn't ask to use her restroom and then proceed from there the first date).

Post: #412

From the day we met ok OKC till the first date (4 days later) we have been talking a lot. Like texts every half an hr or so. Then the morning after date 1 something like this -
Me: had a nice time blah blah
Her: I was just gonna sneak into my boss's office to click a pic (I asked her before). I had a good time too. Thanks for the cookies blah blah.
Her: do you like basketball ?
Me: yes blah blah
Her: I love basketball !
Her: (sends the pic) are you happy now ?
Me: should I be ?
Her: don't you want to ?
Me: jk teasing
Her: just keeping up with you, I don't walk behind
Me: I like that
Her: I know
Her: you been to this restaurant blah
And tons of other such convo

Now on date 2 day hrs before meeting -
Her: at rock climbing. Keep in touch about today
Me: what time ?
Her: still here taking longer than thought blah blah and this far. I am not sure how long and don't want you to wait around
Her: I can still text you when I m back lmk
Me: I might be free lmk
Her: battery dying I am sorry I should planned better. Go ahead make ur plans
Her: just got out of the train. You are probably out. Rain check ?

And then I asked if she wants a netflix night instead she says too tired and doesn't wanna go out now. All downhill from there.

Now I know sense dictates next her. But, freedom from outcome means I want her to tell her she could have another chance at getting what she lost last week. In a nice way of course. Nothing to lose there.

Post: #413

^ too much texting, she sets the bait and asks stuff like "do you like basketball" just to keep a boring ass conversation going. Just think: would you text your buddies like that? Fuck no.

No harm in asking her out again in a week but chances look slim. The rock climbing thing was a shit test to see if you really were busy and you failed.

Post: #414

(04-10-2014 03:47 PM)dancingjohn Wrote:  From the day we met ok OKC till the first date (4 days later) we have been talking a lot. Like texts every half an hr or so. Then the morning after date 1 something like this -
Me: had a nice time blah blah Not sure why you're the first one texting her. Saying you had a nice time is okay, but it would be more fun to subcommunicate that while recounting something funny from the date, making fun of something she did in a playful way, etc...
Her: I was just gonna sneak into my boss's office to click a pic (I asked her before). I had a good time too. Thanks for the cookies blah blah.
Her: do you like basketball ?
Me: yes blah blah
Her: I love basketball !
Her: (sends the pic) are you happy now ? Things are going okay. She is looking for your approval. That's GOOD.
Me: should I be ? Try hard. You should've given her limited approval or in some way rewarded her for sending you a good picture...or pushed for a better one if it wasn't up to par.
Her: don't you want to ?
Me: jk teasing Here you fall into her frame by backing off.
Her: just keeping up with you, I don't walk behind
Me: I like that
Her: I know
Her: you been to this restaurant blah This sounds like her setting you up to be her meal ticket at a restaurant she wants to eat at.
And tons of other such convo What other conversation? Tons of it? Sounds like you're being a chatty cathy and losing her interest that way

Now on date 2 day hrs before meeting -
Her: at rock climbing. Keep in touch about today She starts out with her CLEARLY trying to take frame.
Me: what time ? You let her
Her: still here taking longer than thought blah blah and this far. I am not sure how long and don't want you to wait around
Her: I can still text you when I m back lmk
Me: I might be free lmk You again accept her frame. I would've said something like, "k" or "Ok, another time" or nothing at all.
Her: battery dying I am sorry I should planned better. Go ahead make ur plans
Her: just got out of the train. You are probably out. Rain check ?
At this point you should've texted nothing. IF you were out somewhere you could text simply the name of the place you're at.

And then I asked if she wants a netflix night instead she says too tired and doesn't wanna go out now. All downhill from there.
Just seems like you going out of your way (not the offering for her to come over, but giving her yet ANOTHER opportunity to hang out with you when her behavior is poor).

Now I know sense dictates next her. But, freedom from outcome means I want her to tell her she could have another chance at getting what she lost last week. In a nice way of course. Nothing to lose there.

Why wouldn't you listen to sense? My comments in BOLD above.

What you would have to lose is more of your self-respect. Next her or throw out a hail mary text or call in a few days. Anything more is WAY too much effort, especially for a girl 3 years your elder whose behaviour is disrespectful and she's closer to hitting the wall every day.

A 7-8 ballerina who is younger than her and more feminine shouldn't be that hard to find, ballerinas usually have pretty short, youth-centered careers.

Post: #415

Thanks. Good breakdown for me to learn from. I just start taking them way too seriously too early. Gotta change.

Post: #416

After three new notches last week, I hit the solid wall of resistance thrice this week. To make matters worse, I didn't get any of the past week's two interesting chicks to come back. Writing my text exchanges here for feedback/critique.

Girl 1 from last week here. Not interested, so ignored her texts and she stopped writing after a couple days

Girl 2 from last week here. Texts:

Me [next day 1802]: how are you today xyz?
Girl 2 [1802]: Tired. Getting foot massage now. My nipples are sensitive and painful
Me [1833]: Hmm... sensitive is good; painful depends. Enjoy foot massage
Girl 2 [1834]: Done with my massage. Drinking tea with my friend now
Me [3 days later, 2213]: hola chica, hope you had a relaxing Monday, and aren't too sensitive now
Girl 2 [0213]: Yeah, feeling much better now
Me [1505]: Cool, let's meet up sometime soon for fun

No reply. This is not dead as she had the most powerful sex in her life ever, but wonder what I need to do to make her come back and do an encore.

In general also, how do you guys get the girls you've already scored come back? Since my mini-LTR left the country last Nov, I've had only two girls come more than once. And it is quite time intensive to get new girl every single time!


Girl 3 from last week here

Me [next day 1649]: Hey, great time last night. How has your day been
Girl 3 [1708] My day's been good and productive. How's yours?
Me [2142]: Mad Monday. Busy, but got a lot done. How was your after sex sleep!
Me [four days later, 1122]: hola xyz
She [2243]: Hope you are having a nice night. Sorry was busy all day...

I feel like she needs some more affection, and direction. Any ideas on how to bring this one back and let her do all the work again?

Post: #417

22yr from OKC, conversation from Wednesday as follows:

After some banter
Me: so it's like maison kaiser kinda bakery? which day is better for you?
Her: It's a high end bakery. I can explain it better in person. (I'm a lazy texter.) Friday night or Sunday afternoon work for me.
Me(14:17): ohhh so you guys started the bakery business before it was cool? hipster
Her: hahaha I will explain it in person, I promise. Then you can properly make fun of it.
Me: Alrighty, let's shoot for Friday night then.
Her: Alrighty
Me: Friday night at 9pm in the city? Trying to figure out when to ditch my dinner plan
Her: Haha OK can we keep it downtown?
Me: You got it princess
Her:

Friday at 3pm
Her: Heyyy. I hate to be lame and cancel on you but I can't make it tonight. Reschedule for next week/weekend? Tuesday night there's a good slavic brass band that plays in Brooklyn.

Thoughts? I'm getting the feeling this will soon be a dead number also. Told me she's free Sunday afternoon before but now she's moving meetup to next week which from my experience if I text her Monday I won't hear from her again. Should I keep my frame and push for Sunday? Or accept her frame and move it to next week?

Post: #418

(04-11-2014 02:06 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  22yr from OKC, conversation from Wednesday as follows:

After some banter
Me: so it's like maison kaiser kinda bakery? which day is better for you?
Her: It's a high end bakery. I can explain it better in person. (I'm a lazy texter.) Friday night or Sunday afternoon work for me.
Me(14:17): ohhh so you guys started the bakery business before it was cool? hipster
Her: hahaha I will explain it in person, I promise. Then you can properly make fun of it.
Me: Alrighty, let's shoot for Friday night then.
Her: Alrighty
Me: Friday night at 9pm in the city? Trying to figure out when to ditch my dinner plan
Her: Haha OK can we keep it downtown?
Me: You got it princess
Her:

Friday at 3pm
Her: Heyyy. I hate to be lame and cancel on you but I can't make it tonight. Reschedule for next week/weekend? Tuesday night there's a good slavic brass band that plays in Brooklyn.

Thoughts? I'm getting the feeling this will soon be a dead number also. Told me she's free Sunday afternoon before but now she's moving meetup to next week which from my experience if I text her Monday I won't hear from her again. Should I keep my frame and push for Sunday? Or accept her frame and move it to next week?

This is a little difficult. Paging McQueen and others.

She gave no good reason for canceling. I'm not down with that. However, she did at least suggest an alternate day, so that's good. If this were a no reason cancel and no alternate suggestion, that would have been easy=next.

I'd say push for a day you're free, whether that be Sunday or whatever, and tell her Tuesday is no good. I would start with "k...and sounds fun but this tuesday is no good. Im free on (x) evening. lmk"

Post: #419

(04-11-2014 02:06 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  22yr from OKC, conversation from Wednesday as follows:

After some banter
Me: so it's like maison kaiser kinda bakery? which day is better for you?
Her: It's a high end bakery. I can explain it better in person. (I'm a lazy texter.) Friday night or Sunday afternoon work for me.
Me(14:17): ohhh so you guys started the bakery business before it was cool? hipster
Her: hahaha I will explain it in person, I promise. Then you can properly make fun of it.
Me: Alrighty, let's shoot for Friday night then.
Her: Alrighty
Me: Friday night at 9pm in the city? Trying to figure out when to ditch my dinner plan
Her: Haha OK can we keep it downtown?
Me: You got it princess
Her:

Friday at 3pm
Her: Heyyy. I hate to be lame and cancel on you but I can't make it tonight. Reschedule for next week/weekend? Tuesday night there's a good slavic brass band that plays in Brooklyn.

Thoughts? I'm getting the feeling this will soon be a dead number also. Told me she's free Sunday afternoon before but now she's moving meetup to next week which from my experience if I text her Monday I won't hear from her again. Should I keep my frame and push for Sunday? Or accept her frame and move it to next week?

We are missing half of the conversation. Where did you meet this chick? Why are you offering to ditch your friday plans for her?

If you are OK with buying into her frame, meet her on Tuesday night to see the slavic band.

Post: #420

(04-12-2014 10:49 AM)eradicator Wrote:  We are missing half of the conversation. Where did you meet this chick? Why are you offering to ditch your friday plans for her?

If you are OK with buying into her frame, meet her on Tuesday night to see the slavic band.

Met her on OKC. She's probably a 5 which is 1 to 2 points higher than what I'm banging hence I've been willing to play this far. Thought it would be a good upgrade for a novice like myself.

I said about ditching my plan early Friday night because of her previous one line response, thought it's going cold again and wanted to gauge her by setting up a time as well as showing I was doing something.

Still haven't responded to her as of now.

April 1

Me: Hey ___ it's _____
Her: Hahaha hey
Me: So let's grab a drink this week
Her: Ok I'm away this weekend but let's plan that for the following weekend?
Her: Or a weeknight next week
Me: Oh yea I'll be busy this and next weekend too. what about tomorrow? there's a live music performance I wanna go check out
Her: Bummer, I wish, but I leave tomorrow night

April 8

Me: Drink Thursday night?
Her: Yes, tentatively yes, Sorry I haven't answered ive beenbusy with work
Me: Alright I'll let you know the details tomorrow then. You work in the city right?
Her: It varies, I'm in BK tomorrow. Weekdays are usually not good for me.
Me: Oh wow that's interesting. What exactly is you job
Me: or jobs
Her: I do advertising for a bakery but I also work in the kitchen every once in a while and the kitchen is in BK.

Post: #421

(04-12-2014 02:10 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  

(04-12-2014 10:49 AM)eradicator Wrote:  We are missing half of the conversation. Where did you meet this chick? Why are you offering to ditch your friday plans for her?

If you are OK with buying into her frame, meet her on Tuesday night to see the slavic band.

Met her on OKC. She's probably a 5 which is 1 to 2 points higher than what I'm banging hence I've been willing to play this far. Thought it would be a good upgrade for a novice like myself.

I said about ditching my plan early Friday night because of her previous one line response, thought it's going cold again and wanted to gauge her by setting up a time as well as showing I was doing something.

Still haven't responded to her as of now.

April 1

Me: Hey ___ it's _____
Her: Hahaha hey
Me: So let's grab a drink this week
Her: Ok I'm away this weekend but let's plan that for the following weekend?
Her: Or a weeknight next week
Me: Oh yea I'll be busy this and next weekend too. what about tomorrow? there's a live music performance I wanna go check out
Her: Bummer, I wish, but I leave tomorrow night

April 8

Me: Drink Thursday night?
Her: Yes, tentatively yes, Sorry I haven't answered ive beenbusy with work
Me: Alright I'll let you know the details tomorrow then. You work in the city right?
Her: It varies, I'm in BK tomorrow. Weekdays are usually not good for me.
Me: Oh wow that's interesting. What exactly is you job
Me: or jobs
Her: I do advertising for a bakery but I also work in the kitchen every once in a while and the kitchen is in BK.

your main problem is that you are giving her options to not go out with you.
1. don't give her a specific time to met you (ex. Drink thurs night) that is WAY to specific for a girl.

* the right way to have done this is - hey whts ur schedule look like this week-

2. Keep texting strictly to logistics, with all due respect, nobody gives a fuck about her job over a text. Just the sound of you talking about work just made her pussy dry up faster than spilt jello at a weight watchers convention.

In conclusion: you plan shit around her schedule by finding out when she is free then proposing a time for drinks. Keep texting to strictly logistics

The text format should look like this:
(FOLLOW THIS GUIDE EXACTLY VERBATIM)
Greeting - hey
Humanizing detail - what r u up 2
Find out when she's free - wht does ur schedule look like this week
Pick a time that BENEFITS YOU- down for drinks thrus round 7
Future meet up conformation- sweet text u then

Post: #422

(03-01-2014 10:03 AM)Player_1337 Wrote:  

(02-26-2014 08:35 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

(02-26-2014 08:32 PM)Player_1337 Wrote:  

(02-26-2014 07:23 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  ^You already smashed it, so go for logistics.

No reason to make a sell on what she already bought.

A-B-C Always Be Closing.

Sent a terse, purely logistical text for a friday meet. She responded about 10 minutes later.

Her: I work until 1130 or 12 friday night and have to be up early saturday.

If this is the chick you think might be double-dicking on her BF, than it could just be a one-time thing.

I wouldn't respond and ping her next week. If she provides an excuse again and doesn't try to reschedule than abort.

(02-26-2014 09:01 PM)Frontenac Wrote:  Seconded. She's saying 'no, I don't want to go out Friday' but is using girl speak.

She's throwing a test at you by trying to get you to play her game. You win by not playing. Ignore, and send restart text next week.

What day and what kind of a text would you suggest?

Around 1 am today, I finally heard back from this crazy chick. She texted 'Where are you?'. Sounds like she wanted to see if I was in her area (I was not) to bang. I decided to ignore due to her previous bitchy and aloof messages. What now?

Post: #423

^ For the chick you already fucked?

"Cruise by. Bring a movie if you want."

Post: #424

(04-13-2014 11:20 AM)eradicator Wrote:  ^ For the chick you already fucked?

"Cruise by. Bring a movie if you want."

She has no means of conveyance- I'd go to her place.

Post: #425

I follow a simple rule with women whom I haven't banged yet: if she is a relatively new prospect, keep your replies short, but delay your replies to weekly intervals so that you won't appear as an annoying guy; if she flakes, restart the process. Here is a text exchange with a chick I met through a mutual friend.

(2:32 PM) Me: Hey, X. It's Kevin.
(2:50 PM) Her: Hey. Whats up?
(3:15 PM) Me: Nothin much. How's ur day going?
(3:26 PM) Her: Not bad, [...]. How about urs?
(3:30 PM) Me: Great. U know, ur day could get much better
(3:32 PM) Her: How so?
(3:56 PM) Me: Dinner tonight, my place. The address is [...]
(4:00 PM) Her: Ok cool! I'll be there

That exchange was the first one I've had with her in a while; it was essentially a "restart" text since she flaked during our prior text exchange.