Newbie to this forum. But here's where I need help. Went out for drinks with a 30 yr old (I am 27) and had a great time. At end of the night she takes me to eat cookies at her favorite place and then we make out on the street. She's a bit drunk and tells me I want you to act like a man. Haha. So I grab her hand without saying a word and start walking to her place. We reach there make out again and then she says she is going home and wants to see me 2 days later.

My bad that I didn't plow through this moment, but her second date request was sincere to me. So come day 2, she is out rock climbing and gets very late. Texts me multiple times from there that she is sorry and I am probably out already. Take it as a sign that it's genuine (?)

But a day later, texts start dropping and don't see a lot of interest from her side. I still want to plow through this moment and get the second date on. How to restart this fallen off convo ?

PS: In NYC

(04-10-2014 11:23 AM)dancingjohn Wrote:  Newbie to this forum. But here's where I need help. Went out for drinks with a 30 yr old (I am 27) and had a great time. At end of the night she takes me to eat cookies at her favorite place and then we make out on the street. She's a bit drunk and tells me I want you to act like a man. Haha. So I grab her hand without saying a word and start walking to her place. We reach there make out again and then she says she is going home and wants to see me 2 days later.

My bad that I didn't plow through this moment, but her second date request was sincere to me. So come day 2, she is out rock climbing and gets very late. Texts me multiple times from there that she is sorry and I am probably out already. Take it as a sign that it's genuine (?)

But a day later, texts start dropping and don't see a lot of interest from her side. I still want to plow through this moment and get the second date on. How to restart this fallen off convo ?

PS: In NYC

DUDE you are in NYC let that sink in, and you're thinking about a 30 year old?

She's a 7-8. One of this ballerina kind of chicks.

(04-10-2014 02:20 PM)dancingjohn Wrote:  She's a 7-8. One of this ballerina kind of chicks.

Can you post what you've said to her and her to you? Kind of hard to see where things went wrong (other than the obvious that you didn't ask to use her restroom and then proceed from there the first date).

From the day we met ok OKC till the first date (4 days later) we have been talking a lot. Like texts every half an hr or so. Then the morning after date 1 something like this -
Me: had a nice time blah blah
Her: I was just gonna sneak into my boss's office to click a pic (I asked her before). I had a good time too. Thanks for the cookies blah blah.
Her: do you like basketball ?
Me: yes blah blah
Her: I love basketball !
Her: (sends the pic) are you happy now ?
Me: should I be ?
Her: don't you want to ?
Me: jk teasing
Her: just keeping up with you, I don't walk behind
Me: I like that
Her: I know
Her: you been to this restaurant blah
And tons of other such convo

Now on date 2 day hrs before meeting -
Her: at rock climbing. Keep in touch about today
Me: what time ?
Her: still here taking longer than thought blah blah and this far. I am not sure how long and don't want you to wait around
Her: I can still text you when I m back lmk
Me: I might be free lmk
Her: battery dying I am sorry I should planned better. Go ahead make ur plans
Her: just got out of the train. You are probably out. Rain check ?

And then I asked if she wants a netflix night instead she says too tired and doesn't wanna go out now. All downhill from there.

Now I know sense dictates next her. But, freedom from outcome means I want her to tell her she could have another chance at getting what she lost last week. In a nice way of course. Nothing to lose there.

^ too much texting, she sets the bait and asks stuff like "do you like basketball" just to keep a boring ass conversation going. Just think: would you text your buddies like that? Fuck no.

No harm in asking her out again in a week but chances look slim. The rock climbing thing was a shit test to see if you really were busy and you failed.

(04-10-2014 03:47 PM)dancingjohn Wrote:  From the day we met ok OKC till the first date (4 days later) we have been talking a lot. Like texts every half an hr or so. Then the morning after date 1 something like this -
Me: had a nice time blah blah Not sure why you're the first one texting her. Saying you had a nice time is okay, but it would be more fun to subcommunicate that while recounting something funny from the date, making fun of something she did in a playful way, etc...
Her: I was just gonna sneak into my boss's office to click a pic (I asked her before). I had a good time too. Thanks for the cookies blah blah.
Her: do you like basketball ?
Me: yes blah blah
Her: I love basketball !
Her: (sends the pic) are you happy now ? Things are going okay. She is looking for your approval. That's GOOD.
Me: should I be ? Try hard. You should've given her limited approval or in some way rewarded her for sending you a good picture...or pushed for a better one if it wasn't up to par.
Her: don't you want to ?
Me: jk teasing Here you fall into her frame by backing off.
Her: just keeping up with you, I don't walk behind
Me: I like that
Her: I know
Her: you been to this restaurant blah This sounds like her setting you up to be her meal ticket at a restaurant she wants to eat at.
And tons of other such convo What other conversation? Tons of it? Sounds like you're being a chatty cathy and losing her interest that way

Now on date 2 day hrs before meeting -
Her: at rock climbing. Keep in touch about today She starts out with her CLEARLY trying to take frame.
Me: what time ? You let her
Her: still here taking longer than thought blah blah and this far. I am not sure how long and don't want you to wait around
Her: I can still text you when I m back lmk
Me: I might be free lmk You again accept her frame. I would've said something like, "k" or "Ok, another time" or nothing at all.
Her: battery dying I am sorry I should planned better. Go ahead make ur plans
Her: just got out of the train. You are probably out. Rain check ?
At this point you should've texted nothing. IF you were out somewhere you could text simply the name of the place you're at.

And then I asked if she wants a netflix night instead she says too tired and doesn't wanna go out now. All downhill from there.
Just seems like you going out of your way (not the offering for her to come over, but giving her yet ANOTHER opportunity to hang out with you when her behavior is poor).

Now I know sense dictates next her. But, freedom from outcome means I want her to tell her she could have another chance at getting what she lost last week. In a nice way of course. Nothing to lose there.

Why wouldn't you listen to sense? My comments in BOLD above.

What you would have to lose is more of your self-respect. Next her or throw out a hail mary text or call in a few days. Anything more is WAY too much effort, especially for a girl 3 years your elder whose behaviour is disrespectful and she's closer to hitting the wall every day.

A 7-8 ballerina who is younger than her and more feminine shouldn't be that hard to find, ballerinas usually have pretty short, youth-centered careers.

Thanks. Good breakdown for me to learn from. I just start taking them way too seriously too early. Gotta change.

After three new notches last week, I hit the solid wall of resistance thrice this week. To make matters worse, I didn't get any of the past week's two interesting chicks to come back. Writing my text exchanges here for feedback/critique.

Girl 1 from last week here. Not interested, so ignored her texts and she stopped writing after a couple days

Girl 2 from last week here. Texts:

Me [next day 1802]: how are you today xyz?
Girl 2 [1802]: Tired. Getting foot massage now. My nipples are sensitive and painful
Me [1833]: Hmm... sensitive is good; painful depends. Enjoy foot massage
Girl 2 [1834]: Done with my massage. Drinking tea with my friend now
Me [3 days later, 2213]: hola chica, hope you had a relaxing Monday, and aren't too sensitive now
Girl 2 [0213]: Yeah, feeling much better now
Me [1505]: Cool, let's meet up sometime soon for fun

No reply. This is not dead as she had the most powerful sex in her life ever, but wonder what I need to do to make her come back and do an encore.

In general also, how do you guys get the girls you've already scored come back? Since my mini-LTR left the country last Nov, I've had only two girls come more than once. And it is quite time intensive to get new girl every single time!


Girl 3 from last week here

Me [next day 1649]: Hey, great time last night. How has your day been
Girl 3 [1708] My day's been good and productive. How's yours?
Me [2142]: Mad Monday. Busy, but got a lot done. How was your after sex sleep!
Me [four days later, 1122]: hola xyz
She [2243]: Hope you are having a nice night. Sorry was busy all day...

I feel like she needs some more affection, and direction. Any ideas on how to bring this one back and let her do all the work again?

22yr from OKC, conversation from Wednesday as follows:

After some banter
Me: so it's like maison kaiser kinda bakery? which day is better for you?
Her: It's a high end bakery. I can explain it better in person. (I'm a lazy texter.) Friday night or Sunday afternoon work for me.
Me(14:17): ohhh so you guys started the bakery business before it was cool? hipster
Her: hahaha I will explain it in person, I promise. Then you can properly make fun of it.
Me: Alrighty, let's shoot for Friday night then.
Her: Alrighty
Me: Friday night at 9pm in the city? Trying to figure out when to ditch my dinner plan
Her: Haha OK can we keep it downtown?
Me: You got it princess
Her:

Friday at 3pm
Her: Heyyy. I hate to be lame and cancel on you but I can't make it tonight. Reschedule for next week/weekend? Tuesday night there's a good slavic brass band that plays in Brooklyn.

Thoughts? I'm getting the feeling this will soon be a dead number also. Told me she's free Sunday afternoon before but now she's moving meetup to next week which from my experience if I text her Monday I won't hear from her again. Should I keep my frame and push for Sunday? Or accept her frame and move it to next week?

(04-11-2014 02:06 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  22yr from OKC, conversation from Wednesday as follows:

After some banter
Me: so it's like maison kaiser kinda bakery? which day is better for you?
Her: It's a high end bakery. I can explain it better in person. (I'm a lazy texter.) Friday night or Sunday afternoon work for me.
Me(14:17): ohhh so you guys started the bakery business before it was cool? hipster
Her: hahaha I will explain it in person, I promise. Then you can properly make fun of it.
Me: Alrighty, let's shoot for Friday night then.
Her: Alrighty
Me: Friday night at 9pm in the city? Trying to figure out when to ditch my dinner plan
Her: Haha OK can we keep it downtown?
Me: You got it princess
Her:

Friday at 3pm
Her: Heyyy. I hate to be lame and cancel on you but I can't make it tonight. Reschedule for next week/weekend? Tuesday night there's a good slavic brass band that plays in Brooklyn.

Thoughts? I'm getting the feeling this will soon be a dead number also. Told me she's free Sunday afternoon before but now she's moving meetup to next week which from my experience if I text her Monday I won't hear from her again. Should I keep my frame and push for Sunday? Or accept her frame and move it to next week?

This is a little difficult. Paging McQueen and others.

She gave no good reason for canceling. I'm not down with that. However, she did at least suggest an alternate day, so that's good. If this were a no reason cancel and no alternate suggestion, that would have been easy=next.

I'd say push for a day you're free, whether that be Sunday or whatever, and tell her Tuesday is no good. I would start with "k...and sounds fun but this tuesday is no good. Im free on (x) evening. lmk"

(04-11-2014 02:06 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  22yr from OKC, conversation from Wednesday as follows:

After some banter
Me: so it's like maison kaiser kinda bakery? which day is better for you?
Her: It's a high end bakery. I can explain it better in person. (I'm a lazy texter.) Friday night or Sunday afternoon work for me.
Me(14:17): ohhh so you guys started the bakery business before it was cool? hipster
Her: hahaha I will explain it in person, I promise. Then you can properly make fun of it.
Me: Alrighty, let's shoot for Friday night then.
Her: Alrighty
Me: Friday night at 9pm in the city? Trying to figure out when to ditch my dinner plan
Her: Haha OK can we keep it downtown?
Me: You got it princess
Her:

Friday at 3pm
Her: Heyyy. I hate to be lame and cancel on you but I can't make it tonight. Reschedule for next week/weekend? Tuesday night there's a good slavic brass band that plays in Brooklyn.

Thoughts? I'm getting the feeling this will soon be a dead number also. Told me she's free Sunday afternoon before but now she's moving meetup to next week which from my experience if I text her Monday I won't hear from her again. Should I keep my frame and push for Sunday? Or accept her frame and move it to next week?

We are missing half of the conversation. Where did you meet this chick? Why are you offering to ditch your friday plans for her?

If you are OK with buying into her frame, meet her on Tuesday night to see the slavic band.

(04-12-2014 10:49 AM)eradicator Wrote:  We are missing half of the conversation. Where did you meet this chick? Why are you offering to ditch your friday plans for her?

If you are OK with buying into her frame, meet her on Tuesday night to see the slavic band.

Met her on OKC. She's probably a 5 which is 1 to 2 points higher than what I'm banging hence I've been willing to play this far. Thought it would be a good upgrade for a novice like myself.

I said about ditching my plan early Friday night because of her previous one line response, thought it's going cold again and wanted to gauge her by setting up a time as well as showing I was doing something.

Still haven't responded to her as of now.

April 1

Me: Hey ___ it's _____
Her: Hahaha hey
Me: So let's grab a drink this week
Her: Ok I'm away this weekend but let's plan that for the following weekend?
Her: Or a weeknight next week
Me: Oh yea I'll be busy this and next weekend too. what about tomorrow? there's a live music performance I wanna go check out
Her: Bummer, I wish, but I leave tomorrow night

April 8

Me: Drink Thursday night?
Her: Yes, tentatively yes, Sorry I haven't answered ive beenbusy with work
Me: Alright I'll let you know the details tomorrow then. You work in the city right?
Her: It varies, I'm in BK tomorrow. Weekdays are usually not good for me.
Me: Oh wow that's interesting. What exactly is you job
Me: or jobs
Her: I do advertising for a bakery but I also work in the kitchen every once in a while and the kitchen is in BK.

(04-12-2014 02:10 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  

(04-12-2014 10:49 AM)eradicator Wrote:  We are missing half of the conversation. Where did you meet this chick? Why are you offering to ditch your friday plans for her?

If you are OK with buying into her frame, meet her on Tuesday night to see the slavic band.

Met her on OKC. She's probably a 5 which is 1 to 2 points higher than what I'm banging hence I've been willing to play this far. Thought it would be a good upgrade for a novice like myself.

I said about ditching my plan early Friday night because of her previous one line response, thought it's going cold again and wanted to gauge her by setting up a time as well as showing I was doing something.

Still haven't responded to her as of now.

April 1

Me: Hey ___ it's _____
Her: Hahaha hey
Me: So let's grab a drink this week
Her: Ok I'm away this weekend but let's plan that for the following weekend?
Her: Or a weeknight next week
Me: Oh yea I'll be busy this and next weekend too. what about tomorrow? there's a live music performance I wanna go check out
Her: Bummer, I wish, but I leave tomorrow night

April 8

Me: Drink Thursday night?
Her: Yes, tentatively yes, Sorry I haven't answered ive beenbusy with work
Me: Alright I'll let you know the details tomorrow then. You work in the city right?
Her: It varies, I'm in BK tomorrow. Weekdays are usually not good for me.
Me: Oh wow that's interesting. What exactly is you job
Me: or jobs
Her: I do advertising for a bakery but I also work in the kitchen every once in a while and the kitchen is in BK.

your main problem is that you are giving her options to not go out with you.
1. don't give her a specific time to met you (ex. Drink thurs night) that is WAY to specific for a girl.

* the right way to have done this is - hey whts ur schedule look like this week-

2. Keep texting strictly to logistics, with all due respect, nobody gives a fuck about her job over a text. Just the sound of you talking about work just made her pussy dry up faster than spilt jello at a weight watchers convention.

In conclusion: you plan shit around her schedule by finding out when she is free then proposing a time for drinks. Keep texting to strictly logistics

The text format should look like this:
(FOLLOW THIS GUIDE EXACTLY VERBATIM)
Greeting - hey
Humanizing detail - what r u up 2
Find out when she's free - wht does ur schedule look like this week
Pick a time that BENEFITS YOU- down for drinks thrus round 7
Future meet up conformation- sweet text u then

(03-01-2014 10:03 AM)Player_1337 Wrote:  

(02-26-2014 08:35 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

(02-26-2014 08:32 PM)Player_1337 Wrote:  

(02-26-2014 07:23 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  ^You already smashed it, so go for logistics.

No reason to make a sell on what she already bought.

A-B-C Always Be Closing.

Sent a terse, purely logistical text for a friday meet. She responded about 10 minutes later.

Her: I work until 1130 or 12 friday night and have to be up early saturday.

If this is the chick you think might be double-dicking on her BF, than it could just be a one-time thing.

I wouldn't respond and ping her next week. If she provides an excuse again and doesn't try to reschedule than abort.

(02-26-2014 09:01 PM)Frontenac Wrote:  Seconded. She's saying 'no, I don't want to go out Friday' but is using girl speak.

She's throwing a test at you by trying to get you to play her game. You win by not playing. Ignore, and send restart text next week.

What day and what kind of a text would you suggest?

Around 1 am today, I finally heard back from this crazy chick. She texted 'Where are you?'. Sounds like she wanted to see if I was in her area (I was not) to bang. I decided to ignore due to her previous bitchy and aloof messages. What now?

^ For the chick you already fucked?

"Cruise by. Bring a movie if you want."

(04-13-2014 11:20 AM)eradicator Wrote:  ^ For the chick you already fucked?

"Cruise by. Bring a movie if you want."

She has no means of conveyance- I'd go to her place.

I follow a simple rule with women whom I haven't banged yet: if she is a relatively new prospect, keep your replies short, but delay your replies to weekly intervals so that you won't appear as an annoying guy; if she flakes, restart the process. Here is a text exchange with a chick I met through a mutual friend.

(2:32 PM) Me: Hey, X. It's Kevin.
(2:50 PM) Her: Hey. Whats up?
(3:15 PM) Me: Nothin much. How's ur day going?
(3:26 PM) Her: Not bad, [...]. How about urs?
(3:30 PM) Me: Great. U know, ur day could get much better
(3:32 PM) Her: How so?
(3:56 PM) Me: Dinner tonight, my place. The address is [...]
(4:00 PM) Her: Ok cool! I'll be there

That exchange was the first one I've had with her in a while; it was essentially a "restart" text since she flaked during our prior text exchange.

Went out last weekend. Before calling it a night I went to the strip club with a friend.
Ended up having a blast and met a cool stripper. she gave me her number and we ended up making out for the night.
I never really get stripper numbers or go for it, I know they're flaky. She offered it and I said sure...

I text her the following day Sunday, something about how she took my necklace. Didn't reply.
She texts me back following Wednesday today..... says hey how are you, how have you been, still have that necklace.

Should I text back right away or wait another 3 days to text her back.
Not even sure if she's worth pursuing given her lifestyle.

(04-12-2014 10:49 AM)eradicator Wrote:  We are missing half of the conversation. Where did you meet this chick? Why are you offering to ditch your friday plans for her?

If you are OK with buying into her frame, meet her on Tuesday night to see the slavic band.

As a follow up I did end up meeting her Tuesday night. Judging from our convo she was just looking for a quick bang but I didn't have the balls the push it through.

Not sure whether it's because she's just horny that night or me being patient and buying her frame worked.

23 y.o. okc listed herself as a Bi and dressed in slutty school girl uniform in one of her pics. Thought it was going to be an easy bang...

Got her number few days back, didn't text til now

Me: This weather is perfect
7 hours later
Her: Yeah it totally was perfect today
13 hours later
Me: lol i'll be at ______ tonight, come through if you're around
Her: If you want to go out with me, you actually have to make a date and take me out. Haha I'm not going to just meet you at some random place.


Shit test? She put herself as the price in that sentence (If you want to go out with ME)

Should I say "I only do that with girl I've met and connect with" or "I just did, meet me at this bar tonight"

(04-25-2014 03:55 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  23 y.o. okc listed herself as a Bi and dressed in slutty school girl uniform in one of her pics. Thought it was going to be an easy bang...

Her: If you want to go out with me, you actually have to make a date and take me out. Haha I'm not going to just meet you at some random place.

You didn't establish enough attraction. Just because she's a slut doesn't mean that she doesn't like to feel attraction for you and feel that you made some kind of connection even if that connection is superficial and just laughing over some stupid shit.

That said, if you were to establish good attraction and got her on the phone, this may still be possible.

If you already established attraction and she's just being a bitch, a good one would be "unsubscribe" or "No too many gold diggers on here, let's meet first"

(04-25-2014 03:55 PM)wandenreich Wrote:  23 y.o. okc listed herself as a Bi and dressed in slutty school girl uniform in one of her pics. Thought it was going to be an easy bang...

Got her number few days back, didn't text til now

Me: This weather is perfect
7 hours later
Her: Yeah it totally was perfect today
13 hours later
Me: lol i'll be at ______ tonight, come through if you're around
Her: If you want to go out with me, you actually have to make a date and take me out. Haha I'm not going to just meet you at some random place.


Shit test? She put herself as the price in that sentence (If you want to go out with ME)

Should I say "I only do that with girl I've met and connect with" or "I just did, meet me at this bar tonight"

I like both of those responses. I've used "Whoa there little poodle. I don't know you well enough to date you yet...." in similar scenarios to good effect. It will most likely trigger a strong response, one way or the other

^^
Thanks guys, below is what happen after.

Her: sure, make a date
Me: tonight, LES
Her: I can't, I already have plans
Me: well then. You can pick a place an time
Her: Monday, 8:30
Me: pm?
Her: lol yes
Me: maybe, where
Her: _______?
Me: sure
Her: it's a date

Unlike our previous texts, above exchanges happened within 5 minutes. Thus I was basically texting as if she's surrounded by 20 girl friends and trying to get a laugh out of this. Tried to keep it short. We'll see what happen.

Met this solid 8/9, 27-ish yr old girl in a professional event that I hosted and ran like a pro. I'm 6/36 but with a solid career and fitness; she is looking to build a similar career.

After event, I talk to the group this girl was part of, and then also I do a 1-1 banter on her. We exchange numbers after that, and she connected me on LinkedIn later. I make fun of her on something, and she comes back with a witty response. I thought it's going well, so on email ask her to meet on weekend. No reply that day, but Sat morning, she texts me on Whatsapp, so I thought game on. Here is how it went. No times as all of messages by both of us were sent after some delays ranging from 30 mins to 2 hours; no pattern there. Providing all of it so that you vets can decode best.

She [Saturday AM]: Hi bike, this is A
Bike: Hey A, I am back on land from the boat
She: wow, sailing?
Bike: no, yacht. What you up to?
She: super cool. Invite me to yacht parties. Do you have a bikini that says "xyz" (an inside reference) on it?
Bike: Haha, I've "xyz" shorts. Bikini- depends on if you've a bikini body? Was too hot at sea, and now raining at land. btw, how are you placed Sun eve?
She: yea, must be really hot. [Goes super protective, typical Asian on how I should put sunscreen and not get too tanned etc!].
I plan to prepare for that interview I talked to you about but been lazy. Will work on it after this text.
Bike: so student, how's prep? Am going for yada yada Sat night in half hour. You wanna meet tomorrow eve?

She [Sunday AM]: How was your thing? I went for blah blah blah last night. Some more inside jokes
Bike: some more inside jokes
She: I am meeting a friend for some mock interview practice

I call her just after that text, she doesn't pick up. I text later.

Bike: curious chica, I called you a bit ago. Call back when free.
She: Bike, U'r so persistent. I like ur persistence, but I'm not single...
Bike: haha. Less persistent than you're curious or assuming, as it seems
She: lol.. I do like to make assumptions.
Bike: And we've barely met and you're telling me all your problems from interviews to boyfriend. Btw, is it the one in your pic? [She has a pic with a puppy]
She: I know! It's getting too personal... I wish he were cute and tamed like the puppy. Oh... gosh... it's another secret. Let's don't tell him, ok?


What next?!