Post: #4876

Mister X, I think Gio gave some great advice, I just want to add that I can relate to what you're saying, and a lot of stuff with game is easier said than done, but I think you really need to work on your inner-game, as does everyone trying to work on self improvement and game.

One key that I've worked and improved on which has helped me improve my game and just overall outlook on life and myself in general, is out-come independence and "not giving a fuck." Outcome independence is very important, because a lot of guys including myself have too much attachment to the outcomes, too much mental and emotional investment in the outcomes, so that rejection whether soft of hard really hurts them and taxes them mentally or emotionally in some way.

Sure being outcome independent doesn't mean that you stop caring about getting laid or feeling attraction towards any particular girl, it just means that you don't live or die based on how she reacts to you, your happiness isn't dependent on her. Outcome independence feeds the abundance mentality which is also very important for improving game. When you stop caring so much about any one particular girl, you realize that there are tons more girls out there, so you don't get caught up in traps like having one-itis, or getting super down or depressed if a girl doesn't reply to your text, flake on a date, or dump you after a few weeks of sex.

Similar to outcome independence, but different in it's own way is not giving a fuck. When I say not giving a fuck, I'm not suggesting complete indifference, or implying a lack of effort, but simply it comes down to not really caring what other people think about you, and having confidence in yourself. When you stop giving a fuck, you stop caring whether a girl thinks your approach was lame, you stop feeling self conscious about how you look, how you speak, act, how good your game is, etc.

This level of not caring can be very liberating and when you stop giving a fuck about what other people think, you grow more comfortable in your own skin and become more confident in yourself. Also you start to realize that sometimes it's not you, it's her, if things don't work out it's not because you're not attractive enough or your game was bad, and you develop the mentality that it's her loss for not wanting to be with you, because you are one cool ass motherfucker.

Post: #4877

^ Best book on outcome independence. LINK

Post: #4878

(03-16-2015 04:20 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Mister X, I think Gio gave some great advice, I just want to add that I can relate to what you're saying, and a lot of stuff with game is easier said than done, but I think you really need to work on your inner-game, as does everyone trying to work on self improvement and game.

One key that I've worked and improved on which has helped me improve my game and just overall outlook on life and myself in general, is out-come independence and "not giving a fuck." Outcome independence is very important, because a lot of guys including myself have too much attachment to the outcomes, too much mental and emotional investment in the outcomes, so that rejection whether soft of hard really hurts them and taxes them mentally or emotionally in some way.

Sure being outcome independent doesn't mean that you stop caring about getting laid or feeling attraction towards any particular girl, it just means that you don't live or die based on how she reacts to you, your happiness isn't dependent on her. Outcome independence feeds the abundance mentality which is also very important for improving game. When you stop caring so much about any one particular girl, you realize that there are tons more girls out there, so you don't get caught up in traps like having one-itis, or getting super down or depressed if a girl doesn't reply to your text, flake on a date, or dump you after a few weeks of sex.

Similar to outcome independence, but different in it's own way is not giving a fuck. When I say not giving a fuck, I'm not suggesting complete indifference, or implying a lack of effort, but simply it comes down to not really caring what other people think about you, and having confidence in yourself. When you stop giving a fuck, you stop caring whether a girl thinks your approach was lame, you stop feeling self conscious about how you look, how you speak, act, how good your game is, etc.

This level of not caring can be very liberating and when you stop giving a fuck about what other people think, you grow more comfortable in your own skin and become more confident in yourself. Also you start to realize that sometimes it's not you, it's her, if things don't work out it's not because you're not attractive enough or your game was bad, and you develop the mentality that it's her loss for not wanting to be with you, because you are one cool ass motherfucker.

Good stuff. Yeah I'm trying really hard to be more outcome independent.

I think for me also, is the chip I continue to hold from my beta days. My friend zone days. Years of my life wasted targeting one girl at a time, only to get hit with the friend stamp.

So, back in those ignorant days, the frustration was "I don't get it, I'm a nice guy!"

Now post red pill, the frustration is "I don't get it, I'm a quality guy!"

I just replaced one adjective with another.

Either way, it's approval seeking, the need for ego stroking, and the need for validation.

I need her to treat me like I'm the greatest man she's ever met because that's what I truly believe about myself.

A few months ago I did have the revelation that, I only want to deal with people who make me feel good - about myself and about life in general. Any girl that gets me frustrated, or causes me to generate negative energy - they're not worth the effort. So I made a few changes. But it looks like I still have more work to do.

Post: #4879

Fuck, every time Gio posts something:

Quote:Because you said you were getting heavy make outs with hot girls.

When hot girls do heavy make outs, they are very close to taking their clothes off... IF, THEY HAVE SOME PRIVACY!

WITHOUT ANY PRIVACY, taking their clothes off is not an option.

So, if you want these girls to take their clothes off, you must provide them with some privacy!

Making out in the club is not nearly as effective as making out on your couch.

Start crafting dates that focus on getting the girl back to your home.

Every date I go on I try my best to venue change to my home, but a lot of the time it's not possible. And I can only push so much less I come off as creepy or rapy.

The only time I succeeded, yes I did have passionate sex with her! A bit of alcohol helps too.

Some vets on this forum are like fucking sages, they can diagnose your problem 10x better than a doctor treats a common cold.

Quote:Just when you think a date's going good

even if you get a great follow up text.

She can go radio silent for ANY reason.

I thought this one was in the bag for date 2. She never reached out to me after she asked to reschedule a date.

This lead is completely DEAD.

It goes to show ANYTHING can happen in game and obviously as it is...you CAN'T control all the variables.

Funny, I just finish reading up on Murphy's law:

If anything can go wrong, it will ==> bad shit WILL happen. In the last two months we had 2 threads on here about how dates are ruined because the girl's car got towed.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong ==> I took one of the hottest girls I could pull in my life home, everything was flawless, and suddenly MY DICK DIDN"T WORK

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway ==> your favorite bar may be suddenly close, you might get robbed on the date, she slips and falls down the sewers etc.

If there are more than one way to do things, and one such way leads to failure, an idiot will always do it that way ==> yeah, how many times we are presented with a dilemma, and we knew what would happen, yet still we chose the wrong choice

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse ==> I don't think I need to explain this. Try slacking off your game and neglect your leads a few days, she what happens

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something ==> kaotic's post

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw ==> Mother Nature, and Luck, is a bitch

The point: you always need to have a plan. Big part of game is knowing what to do, having tight logistics and improvising when shit happens.

Outside of that, charge it up to the game, keep playing the number game and move on.

Post: #4880

Gio's completely right man, you've GOT to get them to your pad.

Otherwise it's a passionate kiss with a burnout.

You can have a hot makeout and not do shit with it (it'll probably make the girl frustrated also).

Venue changes are the best to do this with, you've also gotta make the girl comfortable enough to bounce with you back to your pad.

Start planting seeds in her head, do an internal check to see if she's down, by dropping bait, seeing if she buys into your suggestions of going back to your place later.

There's alot to be learned my friend.

Post: #4881

Banged my first black chick last night in a hotel. 30 yo runner. 7.5 face...great bond structure and I'll give her 6.5 body...she was probably an 8 in her heyday a few years ago. Great BJ too.

On tonight's front...I'm having a complete meltdown with this idiot 19 year old I was supposed to meet. She never sent me her addy....I was driving to get her at the appointed time of 7.30 and told her I was on my way and she texts me 15 minutes later "sorry...I'm only halfway across the bridge running now with my friend" It's like a 4 mile bridge.

I tried to contain myself...but considering I drove over an hour to this town and got a nice hotel...I lashed out with a semi angry text to which she responded "are you just here tonight are you rushing me"

I explained I wasn't rushing her but that I fit her into my schedule based on what she told me: that we were on for tonight ( I suppose kind of shaming her)

I suppose there's a high chance I won't hear back from her again. So, total fucking meltdown...it went from her asking me earlier in the day if she was staying with me tonight to now...me guilting her (completely justified mind you ) for basically semi flaking....not being ready for the date. I don't know what I'll do with her at this point...probably just get up in the morning and drive back to my city and next this bitch.

Post: #4882

(03-16-2015 08:11 PM)robreke Wrote:  Banged my first black chick last night in a hotel. 30 yo runner. 7.5 face...great bond structure and I'll give her 6.5 body...she was probably an 8 in her heyday a few years ago. Great BJ too.

On tonight's front...I'm having a complete meltdown with this idiot 19 year old I was supposed to meet. She never sent me her addy....I was driving to get her at the appointed time of 7.30 and told her I was on my way and she texts me 15 minutes later "sorry...I'm only halfway across the bridge running now with my friend" It's like a 4 mile bridge.

I tried to contain myself...but considering I drove over an hour to this town and got a nice hotel...I lashed out with a semi angry text to which she responded "are you just here tonight are you rushing me"

I explained I wasn't rushing her but that I fit her into my schedule based on what she told me: that we were on for tonight ( I suppose kind of shaming her)

I suppose there's a high chance I won't hear back from her again. So, total fucking meltdown...it went from her asking me earlier in the day if she was staying with me tonight to now...me guilting her (completely justified mind you ) for basically semi flaking....not being ready for the date. I don't know what I'll do with her at this point...probably just get up in the morning and drive back to my city and next this bitch.

I feel you bro. You got the room, the condoms, and the bitch flakes.

Next time try booking the hotel once she's at the date and showing signs of getting some D. Hotel tonight is good for that type of stuff.

Post: #4883

"I fit her into my schedule based on what she told me: that we were on for tonight ( I suppose kind of shaming her)"

No no no. She fits into your schedule. No need to shame her, especially if you haven't banged her. Especially since you're older.

Post: #4884

(03-16-2015 08:11 PM)robreke Wrote:  Banged my first black chick last night in a hotel. 30 yo runner. 7.5 face...great bond structure and I'll give her 6.5 body...she was probably an 8 in her heyday a few years ago. Great BJ too.

On tonight's front...I'm having a complete meltdown with this idiot 19 year old I was supposed to meet. She never sent me her addy....I was driving to get her at the appointed time of 7.30 and told her I was on my way and she texts me 15 minutes later "sorry...I'm only halfway across the bridge running now with my friend" It's like a 4 mile bridge.

I tried to contain myself...but considering I drove over an hour to this town and got a nice hotel...I lashed out with a semi angry text to which she responded "are you just here tonight are you rushing me"

I explained I wasn't rushing her but that I fit her into my schedule based on what she told me: that we were on for tonight ( I suppose kind of shaming her)

I suppose there's a high chance I won't hear back from her again. So, total fucking meltdown...it went from her asking me earlier in the day if she was staying with me tonight to now...me guilting her (completely justified mind you ) for basically semi flaking....not being ready for the date. I don't know what I'll do with her at this point...probably just get up in the morning and drive back to my city and next this bitch.

This all went wrong with the "am I staying over" text you mentioned in the other thread.

Too much time for pre-slut regret and hamstering.

Post: #4885

(03-17-2015 06:06 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 08:11 PM)robreke Wrote:  Banged my first black chick last night in a hotel. 30 yo runner. 7.5 face...great bond structure and I'll give her 6.5 body...she was probably an 8 in her heyday a few years ago. Great BJ too.

On tonight's front...I'm having a complete meltdown with this idiot 19 year old I was supposed to meet. She never sent me her addy....I was driving to get her at the appointed time of 7.30 and told her I was on my way and she texts me 15 minutes later "sorry...I'm only halfway across the bridge running now with my friend" It's like a 4 mile bridge.

I tried to contain myself...but considering I drove over an hour to this town and got a nice hotel...I lashed out with a semi angry text to which she responded "are you just here tonight are you rushing me"

I explained I wasn't rushing her but that I fit her into my schedule based on what she told me: that we were on for tonight ( I suppose kind of shaming her)

I suppose there's a high chance I won't hear back from her again. So, total fucking meltdown...it went from her asking me earlier in the day if she was staying with me tonight to now...me guilting her (completely justified mind you ) for basically semi flaking....not being ready for the date. I don't know what I'll do with her at this point...probably just get up in the morning and drive back to my city and next this bitch.

This all went wrong with the "am I staying over" text you mentioned in the other thread.

Too much time for pre-slut regret and hamstering.

Yes, now she's radio silent. Chalk it up to game.

However, I messaged another girl I had previously met online and had texted alot with. I called her about 9 p.m. and convinced her to drive over to my hotel room telling her I'd pay for her gas as she goes to some small college in a neighboring state ( about an hour drive for her)

She was 19 and not as good looking in person but bangable. Kind of a strong looking chick. Think soccer goalie. Also, not as hot as the flake.

Within an hour we were banging and I was ready for her to go but I let her stay the night. Needless to say she was slutty.

After I poked, she told me she was allergic to condoms (which I had used one) and said she had a small 'reaction' Thankfully for her, the way she moaned and looked at me with her young face had me coming quickly. ( less time for her to be in contact with said condom)

Then she mentioned, but don' worry I'm on birth control. ( I'm thinking to myself....uhhh...I'm not worried about birth control...more like STDs)

At least the room got put to some use and I let out some pent up frustration.

Post: #4886

@Robreke

I have met a few girls who said they were allergic to condoms or similar. I used to think it was a bullshit ploy to get inseminated.

Turns out some people do get a reaction to latex. My last girlfriend did, I managed to find some decent non-latex condoms called Skyn. They were just as good as normal ones.

Some others I tried were terrible and felt like I had a polythene bag on my dick.

Post: #4887

(03-16-2015 08:11 PM)robreke Wrote:  On tonight's front...I'm having a complete meltdown with this idiot 19 year old I was supposed to meet. She never sent me her addy....I was driving to get her at the appointed time of 7.30 and told her I was on my way and she texts me 15 minutes later "sorry...I'm only halfway across the bridge running now with my friend" It's like a 4 mile bridge.

I tried to contain myself...but considering I drove over an hour to this town and got a nice hotel...I lashed out with a semi angry text to which she responded "are you just here tonight are you rushing me"

I explained I wasn't rushing her but that I fit her into my schedule based on what she told me: that we were on for tonight ( I suppose kind of shaming her)

I suppose there's a high chance I won't hear back from her again. So, total fucking meltdown...it went from her asking me earlier in the day if she was staying with me tonight to now...me guilting her (completely justified mind you ) for basically semi flaking....not being ready for the date. I don't know what I'll do with her at this point...probably just get up in the morning and drive back to my city and next this bitch.

I'm going to be honest with you, like someone was to me earlier:

You didn't keep your cool, this had a dash of desperation in it.

I get it, you drove that far, to be let with your dick in your hand (momentarily).

A woman guilting the average guy works, a man guilting a woman, NEVER works. In fact it pushes her further away from you.

The whole conversation in this thread, shows that you weren't ready and didn't have your A game.

You didn't even know how to approach picking her up from her home. What made you think you were ready to game her ?

If you look back at your conversation, it shows you DIDN'T build up enough comfort to make her not even worry about if she's spending the night with your or not.

What you should've done is texted her a bit THEN called her to finalize plans, to me this makes the meeting more relaxed and you approach it with more confidence.

You need to lay the ground rules, you need to let her know what the situation is.

-You happen to be in town for business for one night and can hangout.
-If she's lucky she might spend the night.
-You'll be expecting her to wait curbside dressed in something cute.
-Having a solid plan dialed as far as logistics and venue changes go.

This all felt a bit rushed on your part.

At least you banged the other girl to sort of make up for this.

At this point - you COULD do a follow up text.

I'd probably just next this girl and move onto greener pastures.

Post: #4888

(03-16-2015 02:42 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Let me add to your education and save you some frustration..

Game is like hitting in baseball..

Having a 28% success rate is very good.

Failing only 70% of the time makes you better than most other guys.

You don't understand the math.

Baseball players don't complain because they fail 70% of the time, they understand the math.

Salesmen don't complain because they fail the majority of the time, they understand the math.

Study the history of game, study the analytics of game, study high level playboys, study social-sexual dymanics.

You are frustrated because you are uneducated.

Gio this is some of the best advice I've read on here in a long time and another reason why I respect the shit out of your game and experience. As much as this forum has helped me and continues to help me, reading all of these "I just had sex" stories makes me feel like a failure when I don't get the bang with every single woman I bring back to my apartment.

In your estimation what is considered "good game" in terms of closing a woman once she's at your place? The best I can estimate my close rate is about 35-40%. And that is for women who agree to come back to my place and have a drink or "look at my photos". My makeout rate is close to 90% but I still struggle with LMR beyond that.

Again, I tend to beat myself up horribly on not being able to close every single one of them so it would be great to see some real stats from people like you Gio who I respect. Maybe 35% is good? Or it's a number that could definitely improve? Either way I feel like I'm flying in the dark with no real benchmark of success.

Post: #4889

80%+ - Amazing closer

50%+ - Good closer

25%+ - Fair closer

Below 25% you need a lot of work.

Post: #4890

(03-17-2015 12:27 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  80%+ - Amazing closer

50%+ - Good closer

25%+ - Fair closer

Below 25% you need a lot of work.

Thanks Travesty. I would agree with those numbers as I currently see myself as fair to good. I think my first date game is well above average and I seem to do well at building comfort as I would estimate 75% of the women I invite back to my place accept. It's the closing, more specifically, LMR game that still needs a lot of work.

Post: #4891

Are you playing a drinking card game when you take them back?

Are they buzzed enough? Are they laughing and giggly?

It is hard to do this by just showing them pictures of your travels or whatever a bunch of guys do here.

Alcohol + Fun drops panties.

Being interesting is a male ego feeder many guys think helps drop panties.

Whenever I try to be interesting or show off in a coded way about myself it doesn't work as well as Alcohol + Fun. This drops LMR immensely, it takes girls into their emotions and away from over thinking.

Post: #4892

(03-17-2015 01:19 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  Are you playing a drinking card game when you take them back?

Are they buzzed enough? Are they laughing and giggly?

It is hard to do this by just showing them pictures of your travels or whatever a bunch of guys do here.

Alcohol + Fun drops panties.

Being interesting is a male ego feeder many guys think helps drop panties.

Whenever I try to be interesting or show off in a coded way about myself it doesn't work as well as Alcohol + Fun. This drops LMR immensely, it takes girls into their emotions and away from over thinking.

This could be an area where I need to change my approach. Most of the women I date are well into their careers and most of my dates are on week nights so many of them express a reluctance to drink much since it's a "school night". Is there any way to get them to loosen up on the drinking when it's not the weekend?

Post: #4893

Start the date nights early. I am in SoCal as well. I try to start my dates at 7. Get them back to my place at 8:30 or 9.... have that last drink at home it's 9:30 only and still pretty early. This helps their resistance towards having drinks and making out.

If a girl is horny and wants sex a weeknight won't stop her. She is willing to lose an hour or two of sleep or have a tiny hangover to get banged out well just like guys will if the opportunity is right.

I've known girls that rarely drink ever. On a work night or whatever they will at least have two drinks with me.

If a girl won't have two drinks with you on a weeknight she isn't attracted enough, which means you need to improve your looks and body language.

2 drinks is a light buzz to medium buzz for most attractive girls that are skinny and not alcoholics. Many girls you can bang from this.

If she is more attracted she will go into the 3-5 drink range. This is a heavy buzz and you can definitely bang.

Just hold the frame when you are at the bars (be a fun relaxed guy, play some pool with them) have 1 or 2 drinks (many times a way to get a girl to have a second drink is to mention a drink you haven't had in a long time or just heard of and you want to get one with her... you need to sell it as this something fun you really want to do and she should join in your fun -- most girls won't be a wet blanket fun killer... if they hesitate tease them big time), when you get back to your place play a drinking game get one more in them. That's 2-3.

If you can't close the first date, wait a 5-7 days to call them for the second date. On date 2 if they won't drink more and get into having sex they aren't attracted enough, I would move on.

Do you know how slutty U.S. women are? If you don't you haven't gamed enough yet. Most of these girls especially if you meet them online are dying to get banged out by a guy with game. They are attracted to that like we are to hot chicks. If it is a work day and you are on a date with a hot chick and having a great time will you have another drink because she wants to? Of course! They love that carousel. Be their pony.

Post: #4894

(03-17-2015 01:40 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  Start the date nights early. I am in SoCal as well. I try to start my dates at 7. Get them back to my place at 8:30 or 9.... have that last drink at home it's 9:30 only and still pretty early. This helps their resistance towards having drinks and making out.

If a girl is horny and wants sex a weeknight won't stop her. She is willing to lose an hour or two of sleep or have a tiny hangover to get banged out well just like guys will if the opportunity is right.

I've known girls that rarely drink ever. On a work night or whatever they will at least have two drinks with me.

If a girl won't have two drinks with you on a weeknight she isn't attracted enough, which means you need to improve your looks and body language.

2 drinks is a light buzz to medium buzz for most attractive girls that are skinny and not alcoholics. Many girls you can bang from this.

If she is more attracted she will go into the 3-5 drink range. This is a heavy buzz and you can definitely bang.

Just hold the frame when you are at the bars (be a fun relaxed guy, play some pool with them) have 1 or 2 drinks (many times a way to get a girl to have a second drink is to mention a drink you haven't had in a long time or just heard of and you want to get one with her... you need to sell it as this something fun you really want to do and she should join in your fun -- most girls won't be a wet blanket fun killer... if they hesitate tease them big time), when you get back to your place play a drinking game get one more in them. That's 2-3.

If you can't close the first date, wait a 5-7 days to call them for the second date. On date 2 if they won't drink more and get into having sex they aren't attracted enough, I would move on.

Do you know how slutty U.S. women are? If you don't you haven't gamed enough yet. Most of these girls especially if you meet them online are dying to get banged out by a guy with game. They are attracted to that like we are to hot chicks. If it is a work day and you are on a date with a hot chick and having a great time will you have another drink because she wants to? Of course! They love that carousel. Be their pony.

Thanks for the tough love Travesty! Most of my dates start at a bar where we will have 1-2 rounds of drinks and then I suggest we check out some of my photos back at my place. I've pitched having another drink at my place in the past and many will resist because it's "getting late" so I lead with the photos and then push for the drink once back at my place (and they never refuse). HOWEVER, I think where I'm screwing up is I tend to make my move early before they're even half way done with the drink I made them. I have the belief that I need to go for the kiss very soon after they get back to my place or they'll get bored and leave. Is this a bad belief for me to have? What it sounds like is I need to let them finish the drink I make them and get them on another one before making a move, is this correct?

Thinking back, many of my easier bangs were indeed after we had a couple of drinks at my place but again, I'm paranoid that by waiting for them to finish their drink I'm sending the vibe that I don't have the courage to make a move and they'll give me the "well it's late, I need to be going now" line...

Post: #4895

Showing pictures isn't interactive enough.

Things I do once home with a chick:

1) Play a drinking card game(s)
2) Make them show me the music THEY LIKE on Spotify and I constantly judge what they show me, I have an ADD vibe of making them change songs and genres, I make them into my personal DJ
3) Go out on the back porch and smoke a cigarette together
4) Smoke weed together
5) Climb up on the roof and smoke or drink together

You can't lose with Alcohol + Music + Dim Lighting + A Drinking Game + A Cigarette

One thing I want to add to my arsenal is a simple appetizer I can make very quickly in the kitchen. Something as simple as guacamole and chips where I can recruit the girl to help me. It is important that this dish is so easy to make it will take no longer than 20 minutes maximum and is not complicated. This can put you on the same team.... you can drink while you make the appetizer together and enjoy it after. This is like a venue change away, it fast forwards time and bonds you together.

Playing together, drinking together, making food together, smoking together, dancing together.... all this togetherness leads to fucking together.

Other suggestions are buy some silly dance dance video game and make her play, or MarioKart girls love that game for some reason.

B7's had the great suggestion of draw a portrait of each other with crayons and put books stacked inbetween for 10 minutes so you can see each other but not each other's drawings.

Another tip is to pour a drink in the kitchen and stand with her and talk in the kitchen... music is of course playing.. maybe dance with her a little bit then make out. Standing in the kitchen is almost like being at a bar but at home. You are facing each other and can check each other out. It raises sexual tension. Good music must be playing.

Be interactive.

Here are a list of things many guys do that I think have a larger chance for failure on a 1st date for a bang:

- Movies
- Telling long stories
- Showing her a bunch of pictures
- Telling her all about your life.
- Never talk about work unless it is extremely interesting and if it is keep it to a few simple sentences... if she is interested enough she will ask more.

*These above are all for after banging her (and really only for mini-LTRs and beyond). If you want her to stay as a fuck buddy well you probably won't ever be doing any of these and you will rinse repeat the first set of stuff I mentioned with her once a week maximum. You need to keep that let's have fun and fuck frame solid.

I get the feeling you are hesitant to ditch your pictures. It shows you fear they may get bored and leave maybe because what you are doing is in fact a bit boring or else why would you have this fear? When I bring a girl back I know it will be a fun time, if she isn't having fun... she just must really suck. I mean how could you not have fun doing the things I mentioned? It is interactive and fun. You are connecting.

Post: #4896

(03-17-2015 02:20 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  Showing pictures isn't interactive enough.

Things I do once home with a chick:

1) Play a drinking card game(s)
2) Make them show me the music THEY LIKE on Spotify and I constantly judge what they show me, I have an ADD vibe of making them change songs and genres, I make them into my personal DJ
3) Go out on the back porch and smoke a cigarette together
4) Smoke weed together
5) Climb up on the roof and smoke or drink together

You can't lose with Alcohol + Music + Dim Lighting + A Drinking Game + A Cigarette

One thing I want to add to my arsenal is a simple appetizer I can make very quickly in the kitchen. Something as simple as guacamole and chips where I can recruit the girl to help me. It is important that this dish is so easy to make it will take no longer than 20 minutes maximum and is not complicated. This can put you on the same team.... you can drink while you make the appetizer together and enjoy it after. This is like a venue change away, it fast forwards time and bonds you together.

Playing together, drinking together, making food together, smoking together, dancing together.... all this togetherness leads to fucking together.

Other suggestions are buy some silly dance dance video game and make her play, or MarioKart girls love that game for some reason.

B7's had the great suggestion of draw a portrait of each other with crayons and put books stacked inbetween for 10 minutes so you can see each other but not each other's drawings.

Another tip is to pour a drink in the kitchen and stand with her and talk in the kitchen... music is of course playing.. maybe dance with her a little bit then make out. Standing in the kitchen is almost like being at a bar but at home. You are facing each other and can check each other out. It raises sexual tension. Good music must be playing.

Be interactive.

Here are a list of things many guys do that I think have a larger chance for failure on a 1st date for a bang:

- Movies
- Telling long stories
- Showing her a bunch of pictures
- Telling her all about your life.
- Never talk about work unless it is extremely interesting and if it is keep it to a few simple sentences... if she is interested enough she will ask more.

*These above are all for after banging her (and really only for mini-LTRs and beyond). If you want her to stay as a fuck buddy well you probably won't ever be doing any of these and you will rinse repeat the first set of stuff I mentioned with her once a week maximum. You need to keep that let's have fun and fuck frame solid.

I get the feeling you are hesitant to ditch your pictures. It shows you fear they may get bored and leave maybe because what you are doing is in fact a bit boring or else why would you have this fear? When I bring a girl back I know it will be a fun time, if she isn't having fun... she just must really suck. I mean how could you not have fun doing the things I mentioned? It is interactive and fun. You are connecting.

Shit, while reading this my mind feels like the scene in Inception where the buildings and reality are popping up as Leo is walking down the street!

To answer your question, no, I'm not tied to my photos in any way in terms of gaming a girl, I just thought they would be a good DHV but if they're hurting more than helping they're gone.



I know now that when I have a woman isolated at my place I'm so deep in my head that I've lost sight of what's most important, to have fun!!



I love your idea about standing in the kitchen and drinking and I've been very successful with physically escalating while doing just that but again, I'm so stuck in my head I didn't even realize that. One of my first game triumphs occurred about a year into my red pill journey, post divorce. I matched with a pretty hot 21yo Asian girl on OKC (I was 40 at the time) and the evening played out almost exactly like you described above. After getting back to my place, I made us drinks and we began listening to all different kinds of jazz music (we had both talked extensively about our love of jazz earlier). After our first drink (second of the night) I kissed her and she pulled away, then asked if we could go on my patio and smoke. After the smoke I made us another drink and we went back to listening to more music. We then had yet another smoke outside and I made a third drink and the makeout began in earnest. By that point she asked if we could go somewhere "more private" and we went to my bedroom where I proceeded to beat the living shit out of her 21yo pussy.

I need to get back to the interactive and fun vibe once we're at my place. Lots of music, standing around drinking, patio, more drinking, physical escalation sprinkled throughout and then go for the end zone.

Post: #4897

Pictures aren't bad -- just don't spend too much time. A little bit of bragging is good. A slideshow is not. Pictures are best show organically. Or at least has the appearance of it. Something comes up in conversation that seems random and you have the pic on your phone to show. Not try hard and is worth 1000 words.

Sitting her down and going through 50 pictures of your last trip to X country can be a bit much. Too much comfort building, not enough attraction. If she is back at your place it is about a 90% attraction / 10% comfort split... Comfort is for the first 20-30 minutes of the date at venue 1.

Keep the pictures, but do this: make sure you have them on your tablet or whatever and show her them on the kitchen counter with you both drinking and standing hip to hip close together (of course music is playing always...)

---

My advice is geared toward young girls 18-22.... it can also work just as well on older chicks if not better because most have not have a teenage fantasy date getting them all horny since they were in college.

The girls that will give you the most shit tests are the 24-29 looking for an LTR and are at the point they will only sport fuck extreme alphas. Some of these girls love it, I have the most trouble with them though maybe a 50% success rate running this sort of game, otherwise they want to take things slow and keep shit testing that I can't socialize without drinking and whatnot...

These girls are often not worth it though anyways... I am trying to get better at filtering against them before I ever try to get them on a date. Not worth the time unless I think they are pretty hot and love their personality (unicorn?).

There are too many Yes girls out there for guys with game to chase very weak Maybe girls. The cost opportunity to be at the gym, making $, and getting better at hobbies is just way too outta whack.

Post: #4898

(03-17-2015 11:53 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 08:11 PM)robreke Wrote:  On tonight's front...I'm having a complete meltdown with this idiot 19 year old I was supposed to meet. She never sent me her addy....I was driving to get her at the appointed time of 7.30 and told her I was on my way and she texts me 15 minutes later "sorry...I'm only halfway across the bridge running now with my friend" It's like a 4 mile bridge.

I tried to contain myself...but considering I drove over an hour to this town and got a nice hotel...I lashed out with a semi angry text to which she responded "are you just here tonight are you rushing me"

I explained I wasn't rushing her but that I fit her into my schedule based on what she told me: that we were on for tonight ( I suppose kind of shaming her)

I suppose there's a high chance I won't hear back from her again. So, total fucking meltdown...it went from her asking me earlier in the day if she was staying with me tonight to now...me guilting her (completely justified mind you ) for basically semi flaking....not being ready for the date. I don't know what I'll do with her at this point...probably just get up in the morning and drive back to my city and next this bitch.

I'm going to be honest with you, like someone was to me earlier:

You didn't keep your cool, this had a dash of desperation in it.

I get it, you drove that far, to be let with your dick in your hand (momentarily).

A woman guilting the average guy works, a man guilting a woman, NEVER works. In fact it pushes her further away from you.

The whole conversation in this thread, shows that you weren't ready and didn't have your A game.

You didn't even know how to approach picking her up from her home. What made you think you were ready to game her ?

If you look back at your conversation, it shows you DIDN'T build up enough comfort to make her not even worry about if she's spending the night with your or not.

What you should've done is texted her a bit THEN called her to finalize plans, to me this makes the meeting more relaxed and you approach it with more confidence.

You need to lay the ground rules, you need to let her know what the situation is.

-You happen to be in town for business for one night and can hangout.
-If she's lucky she might spend the night.
-You'll be expecting her to wait curbside dressed in something cute.
-Having a solid plan dialed as far as logistics and venue changes go.

This all felt a bit rushed on your part.

At least you banged the other girl to sort of make up for this.

At this point - you COULD do a follow up text.

I'd probably just next this girl and move onto greener pastures.

Yes, I guess I should have made it clearer to her that I was just there one night. As far as the desperation you're right. I think it had a lot to do that I was making a special trip and basically forgoing a day of work to try to see and bang her. I had a lot invested. I suppose I need to somehow have a definite date with time and place established before I make this kind of investment again.

I like the idea of calling too.

I sent her a good morning text this morning but no response. I was thinking of waiting a few weeks and trying to reinitiate

Post: #4899

Chu'uch

(03-17-2015 02:20 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  Showing pictures isn't interactive enough.

Things I do once home with a chick:

1) Play a drinking card game(s)
2) Make them show me the music THEY LIKE on Spotify and I constantly judge what they show me, I have an ADD vibe of making them change songs and genres, I make them into my personal DJ
3) Go out on the back porch and smoke a cigarette together
4) Smoke weed together
5) Climb up on the roof and smoke or drink together

You can't lose with Alcohol + Music + Dim Lighting + A Drinking Game + A Cigarette

One thing I want to add to my arsenal is a simple appetizer I can make very quickly in the kitchen. Something as simple as guacamole and chips where I can recruit the girl to help me. It is important that this dish is so easy to make it will take no longer than 20 minutes maximum and is not complicated. This can put you on the same team.... you can drink while you make the appetizer together and enjoy it after. This is like a venue change away, it fast forwards time and bonds you together.

Playing together, drinking together, making food together, smoking together, dancing together.... all this togetherness leads to fucking together.

Other suggestions are buy some silly dance dance video game and make her play, or MarioKart girls love that game for some reason.

B7's had the great suggestion of draw a portrait of each other with crayons and put books stacked inbetween for 10 minutes so you can see each other but not each other's drawings.

Another tip is to pour a drink in the kitchen and stand with her and talk in the kitchen... music is of course playing.. maybe dance with her a little bit then make out. Standing in the kitchen is almost like being at a bar but at home. You are facing each other and can check each other out. It raises sexual tension. Good music must be playing.

Be interactive.

Here are a list of things many guys do that I think have a larger chance for failure on a 1st date for a bang:

- Movies
- Telling long stories
- Showing her a bunch of pictures
- Telling her all about your life.
- Never talk about work unless it is extremely interesting and if it is keep it to a few simple sentences... if she is interested enough she will ask more.

*These above are all for after banging her (and really only for mini-LTRs and beyond). If you want her to stay as a fuck buddy well you probably won't ever be doing any of these and you will rinse repeat the first set of stuff I mentioned with her once a week maximum. You need to keep that let's have fun and fuck frame solid.

I get the feeling you are hesitant to ditch your pictures. It shows you fear they may get bored and leave maybe because what you are doing is in fact a bit boring or else why would you have this fear? When I bring a girl back I know it will be a fun time, if she isn't having fun... she just must really suck. I mean how could you not have fun doing the things I mentioned? It is interactive and fun. You are connecting.

Post: #4900

Just had a rough outing. I had an okcupid chick telling me to come to her apartment and that I could stay the night if I was polite- she was just getting out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious.

I get there, was waiting in the lobby and get a text saying to please leave because I looked nothing like my photos. There were other dudes in the lobby waiting for people, i am 95% sure she was looking at the wrong dude, but i just left and went home.

A shame, she was a pretty girl, tall, red headed, thin but if this is how she is going to act, then wow, better off not having met her I suppose. Charge it up to the game.


edited, better take those down and leave them as attachments so the lurkers dont get to see.