(08-23-2016 05:35 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

(08-23-2016 11:13 AM)debeguiled Wrote:  

(08-23-2016 06:28 AM)redbeard Wrote:  

(08-22-2016 11:48 PM)kaotic Wrote:  can't bang with the TV on

What the fuck? People do this?

I knew a guy who banged a girl during the Superbowl, and timed their orgasms for the final, last second, play of the game.

I like coming on her face during the last second kneeldown too!

For the win.

And I'm back! Rebound bang CHECK!
After letting my main squeeze go over the weekend I hit up a couple of old leads just to get back into the swing of things.
Got a bite right away from one and ended up going out for a drink with her last night.
Not even one drink in and she's holding my hand and giving me the eyes so I say "bottoms up", drive straight to my place and bang.

So I've been dating the cute cute 21 year old, I'll be 30 on Sunday and she wants to be a couple. Things have been great, she's coming to see me regularly, texts me all the time and lives with her parents and works with kids.

I've got a bunch of girls sending me nudes and straight up inviting me out to bang though, and then in the next stratosphere I've got girls showing interest in it.

I've been a bachelor for four years and never commit, but this girl is like almost exactly what I would have wanted and it took a lot of effort to get her.

What do you guys do with your FWB's when you start to catch feelings for a chick who wants to be exclusive and official and publicly your woman?

(08-24-2016 08:24 AM)Beijong Wrote:  So I've been dating the cute cute 21 year old, I'll be 30 on Sunday and she wants to be a couple. Things have been great, she's coming to see me regularly, texts me all the time and lives with her parents and works with kids.

I've got a bunch of girls sending me nudes and straight up inviting me out to bang though, and then in the next stratosphere I've got girls showing interest in it.

I've been a bachelor for four years and never commit, but this girl is like almost exactly what I would have wanted and it took a lot of effort to get her.

What do you guys do with your FWB's when you start to catch feelings for a chick who wants to be exclusive and official and publicly your woman?

If she is a good woman and you like being with her and you want a relationship then do it. It isn't rocket science. Do whatever the fuck you want to do!

(08-24-2016 08:24 AM)Beijong Wrote:  What do you guys do with your FWB's when you start to catch feelings for a chick who wants to be exclusive and official and publicly your woman?

Drop them softly. Don't be a dick and burn bridges. You could simply be honest and tell them things are getting serious with this girl you met, or you could bullshit and say you are going away whatever.

...Or if you're a dog you can still fuck around with them behind your girl's back. That's not my game but to each their own.

Yeah, I just stop making plans with FWB's if I'm interested in a 1to 1 relationship, and if they try to make plans just say your busy. Theyll get the hint. Don't mention the other girl, this will make it easier to get the FWB's back if you choose too.

(08-24-2016 11:07 AM)Repo Wrote:  Yeah, I just stop making plans with FWB's if I'm interested in a 1to 1 relationship, and if they try to make plans just say your busy. Theyll get the hint. Don't mention the other girl, this will make it easier to get the FWB's back if you choose too.

Yeah, it seemed like my bachelor stud life was in hurricane mode and then this girl came that I actually was mopping my floor and cleaning my shower walls and stuff for and she turns out to be really great and wants a relationship. I'm really happy about it its just gonna be tough to cut the cord on these other girls that are thirsty for me.

My biggest concern is power dynamics. This girl is beautiful and could easily get another dude, she's not the type to do that, and seems to be 100% invested in me so I could ditch the fwb's softly and be fine, but having no other options might make me more docile and unattractive.

Hold up a second.

First:

You enjoy being around this woman you're dating/fucking, possibly want a relationship with her, but want to cut her ?

The only thing holding you up is access to other pussy and FWB's.

Call me a sociopath with no moral bounds - but I was able to enjoy a LTR with a woman I liked and still fucked on the side to keep me sane - yes it's not the most honorable or gentlemanly thing to do, but it worked for me during the course of my relationship.


Second:

Power dynamics, think of it as 80/20 rule, she cares alot more than you do and will invest in you.

That's not hard to do if she's into you and adores you.

(08-24-2016 11:24 AM)Beijong Wrote:  This girl is beautiful and could easily get another dude, she's not the type to do that, and seems to be 100% invested in me so I could ditch the fwb's softly and be fine, but having no other options might make me more docile and unattractive.

Bad way of thinking, it shows scarcity and insecurity. Fuck that, you're the shit and she wants to be with you every breathing minute, should be your mentality.

The game that got her is the game keeps her, so don't be docile or slack off on the game. This also brings up my first point, gaming and banging other girls while in an LTR keeps your game skillset sharp, in practice, and you'll thank yourself.



I really don't see the problem here with wanting to be with a girl that you enjoy and complements your life. If you get the urge to chase some new pussy, then do so, albeit discreetly.

NOTE: This scenario isn't for the faint of heart or for a newbie.

Is there any turning point in relationship, where you can stop being cold? I don´t mean going totally beta, but let´s say, that you already know each other well and she knows that you´ve chosen her. Keep the atraction, but also let her feel liked.
Edit: This is not question about game, but I came up with this question after reading previous posts.

^ You never have to be cold.

Guys without game that start the journey have to act cold to internalize being outcome independent, which may often take many years especially if they didn't get laid easily as a youngster or got burned badly in a relationship.

Being cold is a big band-aid around a tender a ego that does indeed work, though is not the best path. I do recommend beginners to act more cold in the beginning to fight their urges to break down and be needy. It is an ugly medicine, it works though over time.

Once you truly believe you are a great man to be in a relationship with or have a fling and that if she disrespects or leaves it is her loss, then you automatically learn to be warm while also not being needy.

The more Game you have you get warmer yet develop a firmer hand at the same time that girls often feel through tone and body language alone. You don't even have to sit down and point out bad behavior, they immediately regret that you have taken away your warm confident persona that they want around all the time.

Now warm doesn't mean tons of compliments, gifts, or physical affection. It means being content and satisfied with your life and who you are. It means you are in the moment and interested in life and those around you. It means when you see her you make an emotional connection every time.

The less Game you have you usually go from cold, to needy, then become too hot. Or you just stay too cold and don't develop enough comfort and connection. This fixes itself overtime though as you experience more failure and success while keeping an open and healthy mind that the game has many speed bumps, impromptu exits, misdirections and so on. You need to experience so many small losses that they become comical when they happen, then you will start warming up because you no longer care about taking a loss - the world and life are too interesting to let it affect you.

@Tom

You're living in fear. Living in scarcity. One false move and the whole thing comes crashing down. Now cipher.

If you're constantly plotting and scheming to keep a girl in your life - she's the one in control. If you have to finagle some dread, you're the one that's losing.

If you show her affection, or kindness and she takes it as weakness - she's giving you a gift. Now you know how horrible the chick is on the inside.

Don't waste any time, drop her. She's not going to change.

If you need to be an abusive creep (that you don't want to be) to keep her around, *she's the alpha* making you play a role. You're caving to her desires. That's not how it works.

As soon as you start needing control, you've lost. She should be the one trying to keep you happy. In a good couple, the woman is happy to make her guy a steak. Pleasing him, pleases her. Just like when your girl asks you to open a jar. If that's your girl, you're happy to open it for her. You're not losing "hand."

Guys waste too much of their lives on broads that don't deserve it.

WIA

So many guys on here hate on online game, 'it's dead,' etc. My next 4 nights are 19, 24 [superfit], 20, and 20. 3 new ones and a repeat.

Goes to show you cannot reason someone out of a position they have not reasoned themselves into.

(08-24-2016 04:59 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  So many guys on here hate on online game, 'it's dead,' etc. My next 4 nights are 19, 24 [superfit], 20, and 20. 3 new ones and a repeat.

Goes to show you cannot reason someone out of a position they have not reasoned themselves into.

I've never dead, but the quality has indeed gone down (at least on Tinder).

Best line I ever heard about dating apps is, "the app became POFisized" basically fat ugly chicks and desperate single moms.

I don't like saying online game is my bread and butter, because it is, I still don't like using it as a main farm for bangs and numbers.

Tinder quality over here is very good, mostly euro/american tourists or attractive local girls. I rarely see fat, ugly or over 35 girls even show up. I've just started using an autoswiper and just watch it swipe right on all the hotties and occasional ugly.

I've seen POF in England, so I know exactly what you mean about mostly ugly girls and single mums on there and I can compare the two accurately. Worlds apart.

---

@ Beijong,

I mostly agree with Kaotic. You will feel guilty about it, but for both you and her, I think you should make her your girlfriend (not officially or anything beta like that) and continue to see your FWBs on occasional weeknights.

However keep your main girl happy, and show her respect by being ULTRA secretive about other girls. I'm serious. Use a burner phone, email, FB whatever. Have solid alibis planned in case you need them. You might have to see them in hotels or something like that and not even use your real name. Make sure all your tracks are covered. Treat your FWBs like mistresses, if they don't like that, ditch em.

While you're doing this, don't try and make her jealous, don't 'hint' at other girls, don't be sloppy at all, don't mention other girls and say they're just friends. Dread game is vastly overrated, she already feels you could bang other girls, you don't have to actively hint at it, or worse explicitly say it.

She will start to feel insecure and pre-emptively cheat on you if you do this. You might have the best game in the world out of all men, however your girlfriend can probably get a man or many men faster than you can in seconds. Or even if she's so good that she doesn't do that, if she's feeling insecure and another man with game comes along, she could cheat.

Obviously you don't want her to be completely secure in this relationship, but hinting at infidelity is not the best or most effective way to have hand in the relationship, there are MANY other ways.

However this is only if you want to do all that, you might not want to and be happy with just this girl, that's fine too, probably even a better solution. However you're the only one who knows how you feel.

I actually came here to post this analogy I just read on a comment on an old heartiste post and ask your guys thoughts on it. Do you think this is true of all relationships? I do. But how long can you make it last? 6 weeks? 6 months? 6 years? and can you revive relationships that are flagging? Or are relationships a power struggle, you can lose the frame but gain it back and the passion again?

Quote:I suppose I treat relationships a bit like bubble gum from time to time. I mean it’s great when it has flavour but over time it gets bland and tasteless and I have enough of it and throw it away. The last thing I want to do is go find it and pop it back in my mouth again for another go.

I've lost the passion in a couple relationships recently by opening up and showing off my inner beta I thought I killed but has come back now that I'm in more difficult times. I'm sometimes relying on my girl for things I wouldnt have to if I was in a country I spoke the language fluently and had a network of male friends around me.

I think I've lost a bit of my confidence because of that and because I'm changing jobs from something I got massive ego boosts out of, and I was knowledgeable and good at (live musician and private music tutoring) to something I'm not that good at, don't know a lot about, and have little experience in.

I've also lost the frame too quickly by seeing the girl too often, too fast. I'm now wishing I slowed down.

(08-24-2016 05:49 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(08-24-2016 04:59 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  So many guys on here hate on online game, 'it's dead,' etc. My next 4 nights are 19, 24 [superfit], 20, and 20. 3 new ones and a repeat.

Goes to show you cannot reason someone out of a position they have not reasoned themselves into.

I've never dead, but the quality has indeed gone down (at least on Tinder).

Best line I ever heard about dating apps is, "the app became POFisized" basically fat ugly chicks and desperate single moms.

I don't like saying online game is my bread and butter, because it is, I still don't like using it as a main farm for bangs and numbers.

If you are in a big city try Happn, Tinder quality from a few years ago, doesn't seem to be getting the fatty influx.

(08-24-2016 08:46 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

(08-24-2016 05:49 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(08-24-2016 04:59 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  So many guys on here hate on online game, 'it's dead,' etc. My next 4 nights are 19, 24 [superfit], 20, and 20. 3 new ones and a repeat.

Goes to show you cannot reason someone out of a position they have not reasoned themselves into.

I've never dead, but the quality has indeed gone down (at least on Tinder).

Best line I ever heard about dating apps is, "the app became POFisized" basically fat ugly chicks and desperate single moms.

I don't like saying online game is my bread and butter, because it is, I still don't like using it as a main farm for bangs and numbers.

If you are in a big city try Happn, Tinder quality from a few years ago, doesn't seem to be getting the fatty influx.

Catch to Happn is it's based off of crossing paths with people. This is great for NYC but your quantity of matches is much lower elsewhere. I live in a relatively bustling part of LA and Happn matches are ~1/10 less frequent than tinder matches. Quality seems to be quite similar to tinder, maybe a hair better. It is cool to see a chick and pull up happn quickly and swipe her but besides that novelty it's nothing special.

Edit: my retard reading abilities just saw you recommended "big cities"

(08-24-2016 08:18 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  Tinder quality over here is very good, mostly euro/american tourists or attractive local girls. I rarely see fat, ugly or over 35 girls even show up. I've just started using an autoswiper and just watch it swipe right on all the hotties and occasional ugly.

I've seen POF in England, so I know exactly what you mean about mostly ugly girls and single mums on there and I can compare the two accurately. Worlds apart.

How's mexico? I could of sworn you were from the UK

Online game is tough on the outskirts of west Dallas. A lot of homely and older women around here, but I'm like a young bachelor, so it's a way different atmosphere for me. I would move, but I'm here for work. A lot of families and a lot of businesses, but hardly what one would call a party town.

(08-24-2016 09:13 PM)BlueResolute Wrote:  Online game is tough on the outskirts of west Dallas. A lot of homely and older women around here, but I'm like a young bachelor, so it's a way different atmosphere for me. I would move, but I'm here for work. A lot of families and a lot of businesses, but hardly what one would call a party town.

I'd imagine the milf scene would be pretty good there. Of course, thats what I imagine.

The Latinas running around suburban Texas are pretty sweet.

Lately I've had a few girls say "You're kind of bossy" or similar. I think it's a culmination of a few instances like "Come sit by me", "Let's do xxxx", etc. It's me getting more assertive about what I want but it catches me off guard and I'm not sure how to respond. They don't seem upset or bothered, so it feels like a mild shit test. I hate that I often immediately feel on the defensive, like I'm doing something wrong when I know I'm not. I expect there's some calibration I can do with my behaviors but I'm also looking for how to handle it when they say it. Can I get some help on good responses to this?

To clarify, this is usually with girls I've not fucked yet, may even be ambivalent if I want to fuck them.

(08-24-2016 10:32 PM)RunsWithScissors Wrote:  Lately I've had a few girls say "You're kind of bossy" or similar.

...

Can I get some help on good responses to this?

Look her dead in the eyes, smirk and say "You love it."

(08-24-2016 11:05 PM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:  

(08-24-2016 10:32 PM)RunsWithScissors Wrote:  Lately I've had a few girls say "You're kind of bossy" or similar.

...

Can I get some help on good responses to this?

Look her dead in the eyes, smirk and say "You love it."

Nailed it, agree and amplify !

It's a compliment !

I might even throw in a, "Damn right, unless you prefer boys who are indecisive and insecure with decisions" -smirk-

I'm pretty brazen though and it takes a bit of skill pulling that off.

(08-24-2016 11:11 PM)kaotic Wrote:  I might even throw in a, "Damn right, unless you prefer boys who are indecisive and insecure with decisions" -smirk-

I'm pretty brazen though and it takes a bit of skill pulling that off.

That's more brazen than my personality, but I can definitely pull off the "You love it."

Being commanding an assertive doesn't always have to come across as being stern/bossy. You can make requests but do it with a smirk. It's hard to convey/explain over text but it all comes down to your tone and body language. I have this same problem myself when dealing with other men, actually. When I need to confront someone about something negative I often get in my head and am like "don't be a dick" and I tend to come off as kind of a dick anyway.

That, and being called "bossy" by a girl isn't exactly negative. You can feed into it and amplify like the responses above, or if that is not your style just brush the comment away like it doesn't phase you. Shrug your shoulder and go "eh" - or even better make a joke out of it. Be like "Me? Bossy?? Nah. Now go get me a drink"

----------------

Had one of my plates cancel plans a couple nights in a row. Her reasons seemed legitimate. To make up for it, tonight she came over and cooked me a steak with broccoli and mashed potatoes. She brought all of the ingredients with her. Also blew me while I watched a movie (she's on her period). Then I fucked her anyway in the shower. Then fucked her on some towels in my bed. At the same time I had a girl I was chatting with on OKC message me asking if she could come over tonight (too bad) and another plate of mine texting me saying, and I quote, "I can't wait to feel your throbbing cock in my mouth."

Not trying to just gloat over here. Shit is decent and I attribute a lot of it to not giving much of a shit about the girls I'm banging/potentially banging. I lost a pretty attractive plate a couple weeks ago and I didn't even care. Also had a smoking hot plate from yesteryear hit me up out of the blue and then ghost on making plans. What-the-fuck-ever.

The going is best when you are not thirsty - whether you are banging girls or not. This mindset bleeds through in your interactions with other girls and they can see that you are satisfied with your life and are not desperate.

The girls I'm banging right now I won't be banging forever. There will be a time soon enough where I have no females I'm seeing and will be on the hunt for new draft picks. Being hungry is good. Being thirsty is bad.