(07-28-2015 07:09 PM)civpro Wrote: Yeah, I mean I don't have the full complement (body shot, shot with a pet, exotic location, etc.), but I have alright photos in decent lighting - in a suit, with people, etc. I don't consider myself ugly though I'm not mr. rugged & masculine. I fail on the online dating across the board. Zilch. I think online dating is about 1. race, 2. face. With real life game dying out, I just don't know what to do now.
Race is a controversial topic. I'm in a minority group that's popularly said to be loserish but I do well; here are my views:
1) Vaginas are not racist. Girls will give up their vaginas to anyone who gives them the immediacy of tingles. It's like Dante Nero of Beige Philip, who is black, says: "I am no girl's preconceived notion of a sexy dude, but they fuck me." This happens because a girl will fuck any guy who gives her the primal immediacy of tingles, even if he is not what she thinks she likes. When I bring a girl home, trust me, there is no way that while getting ready a few hours before she visualized her clownface makeup splattered all over the pillows of a bizarre-looking ethnic weirdo like me.
2) If you are not white, you will do
way, way, way better in real life than on any online avenue, not because girls are racists, but because the heuristics and unconscious biases of online dating works heavily against minorities.
The brain cannot handle too much information, so it uses cognitive shortcuts. When a girl is looking over a Tinder profile, there is not much information there, so what little information is present takes on heightened importance.
When a girl's brain is scanning your pics and your paragraph of text, it is over-judging the smallest things, and jumping to conclusions about you based on the scantest evidence:
Slight double chin --> fat as fuck.
Not top 20% looks --> ugly as hell.
All selfies --> no friends.
In a club --> no job.
Boring clothes --> boring.
Gym selfie --> boring gym dude.
Not smiling --> fucked up teeth.
Ugly friends --> loser.
You're DJing --> hot DJ.
You're playing guitar --> hot musician.
Tattoos --> hot tattoo guy
Beards --> trendy + fashionable
Pets --> caring and loving
And:
Minority --> not cool.
The lack of information of an online dating profile works against you if you're a minority. Since a girl's judgement of online dating profiles relies on heuristics and cognitive shortcuts, she most likely will unfairly cast you into the loser stereotype of whichever minority you are in. This happens subconsciously, so she won't even be aware of it, and it happens
even if she's a minority herself.
So:
Indian --> smelly and shy
Black --> ghetto
Latin --> poor
Asian --> shy and quiet
White --> normal, let's see the rest of his photos.
Again, it's not only white girls that jump to these negative stereotypes about you, it's also ethnic girls. So even black girls who see the profiles of black dudes think they are ghetto, and even Indian girls who see profiles of Indian guys think they are dweebs. All minorities are pushed back except for white guys, who are "normal" by default.
In person you can easily overcome any negative stereotypes of your ethnic background and be a hot, dominant, tingle-worthy dude without even saying a word, just by your vibe and your presence, your dress and mannerisms. Online? Not so much, girls have an itchy trigger finger in judging you as a loser.
If you are a mack and you happen to be in a minority, the challenge is to not let your dismal online results (dismal compared to "normal" white guys) fuck up your IRL vibe.