RE: Thailand challenge
Cliffnotes at bottom
Chiang Mai Day 3 - Wake up at 7.50 am, and go have breakfast buffett at hotel. Have some yogurt, eggs, cereal, rice, noodles and other assorted mediocre food from hotel. Get picked around 8.15 by tour guide. Our bus is a pickup truck w/a roof in the back and zip-down Velcro windows. No back lid. Two benches are bolted down to the carriage. Looks pretty shoddy. Elephant-riding, butterfly/orchid farm, white-water rafting, bamboo rafting, and long-neck tribe.
Pick up 6 more tourists. All from England/Australian. Goodness, I don’t miss white girls at all. These girls probably would be considered a 5 or 6 at home, but man I felt nothing for them. The laugh, talk, vulgarity, horrible dress, and ridiculous mannerisms is now such a turn-off. We shoot the shit about countries, travel, blah blah blah. The day was pretty cool actually. I really liked the elephant camps, but my elephant was really hungry and kept trying to eat leaves and branches, but the tour guide wouldn’t let the elephant do it. 1 of the tourist girls bought a bunch of bananas to feed the elephant. The elephant ate them in a heartbeat. Pounded down 10 banannas in 2 mins. A picture starts forming in my head- elephants are not feed properly so that the tourists will buy more bananas for elephants to eat. I share this thought with the girl who bought the bananas and typical girl polyanna behavior. No thai people are very nice, they wouldn’t so such a thing. They definitely feed the elephants. I didn’t argue w/her, but I could see the conflict in her face afterwards. On the tour bus next, the girls started asking me how I liked it. I told them I didn’t like getting scammed non-stop. They were like “WE haven’t been scammed here”. Lol, too freaking funny. They are telling me that its so cheap here, the people are so friendly, they haven’t had any issues. I look at the in mock-amused shock. Tell them they must be very lucky than. They say, its just you that must be very unlucky than!!!. Classic girl logic. If it wasn’t so sad, I think I might have laughed even harder.
Day 3 night-time- Shower, get dressed, and bring my “3 objects” (trademark RVF user TravelHardcore) -chewing gum, lube, and condoms. I walk to Zoe in Yellow. Its empty. Walk back and decide meh, ill just go get a nice massage. Run into a bunch of peeps from England trying to argue w/tuk tuk to go to Reggae festival. I help w/the bargaining. I have picked up transactional thai by this time (1 week), and bargain w/him down to 100 baht for 6 people. He argees to take them. I plan to just walk to massage, but they convince me to hop on too. We get 8 ppl total if you count driver on tuk-tuk. Make it to festival w/some laughs. Hop out, and theres the cop right there. They look at us and just laugh.
We walk into reggae festival and start drinking. I drink w/them for about ten minutes and shoot the shit. Then tired of being surrounded by westerners, I excuse myself and proceed first to bathroom, then through the crowd. Its mostly farang and the picking are pretty weak, but I soldier on. Get to the front and theres a couple thai girls that I ran into at Zoe’s earlier in the night. We start dancing in a circle and have some laughs. They share a drink from their songsam bucket. I laugh and reject the straw they gave me (eww) and drank straight from the side. Clubbing is all about simple status projection- staying in motion and being high-energy, fun, friendly and not “threatening”. Just the fact that 3 girls are dancing near you and sharing stuff w/you lets you springboard easier to other groups or grab groups into your group. I stay w/them for a while and like one of them. I start dance-flirting w/her. Bumping her butt w/my butt and smiling. She gets a confused look on her face and grabs the 1 dude in our circle. I let it go. Continue to dance in circle, because quite frankly see nothing else there. The whole group gets tired and we go to rest. A cute girl start speaking to me in thai. I look at her and smile- “English please”. 1 of the girls in the group comes over and says ohhh, this is my friend. She thought you were my brother. This thai girl is half-dutch, half-thai. Lol. I dip out after that and the lack of prospects in that circle.
Post up near stage and drink my beer slowly. Chop it up at all the girls walking out from the bathroom area. Lol, it’s 1 good strategy when its really bad out on dance area- they feel relieved to pee and are happy to come back to party. Nothing sticks.
Migrate to the side-stage area and get up on stage. Start breaking down the beat on STAGE in front of hundreds of people just out of personal enjoyment. Party finishes around 1ish. Meet up w/the English/Australian dudes and gals from before. I take charge of bargaining. 200 baht, no, 150 baht no, 100 baht, no, ok 100 baht for all of us (there 8 ppl). Tuk tuk driver OKs it. We hop on. Its 9 ppl on the tuk-tuk. Epicly funny how cramped that shit was. Hes driving and hitting the dips in the road and the wheels started jamming against the frame. LOL its too heavy for the tuk-tuk. I have video proof!!!! We make back to zoe in yellow, and its freaking bumping. 2 floors- 1 floor hip/hop and 1 floor house.
I lick my lips in anticipation of drunk thai girls and after-hours which is my bread and butter. Chop up everything cute that I see in rapid 10-20 minute succession to do a quick recon of the area. 1 of the English/Australian dudes tags along and is shocked by how quickly I run through these girls. He does decently well after I push him to approach random girls.
Hes tells me, “I have never done anything that ridiculous so fast ever. Lets keep going” Hes elaborates that he is 18 and just recently broke up w/his GF. I begin to see myself in him about 3-4 years ago. The taste of quick pulls and the dopamine hit of getting sexy girls with close to zero effort is a high umatched by many experiences. I am jaded already, but still I envy his personal excitement at just dancing and name-closing 5-6 in a row.
We continue on and he does well. I lose him and off to hunt solo, which is my best way. I dance through the club slowly. Girls latch on and grab me. I dance and spin free, then analyze the girl. Cute girl w/2 female friends. Start talking w/her and she passes me to her ugly friend and tell me “you like her!” and give me a frown. I am almost certain these girls are pros and shes trying to get the ugliest one w/a customer. I tell her are “you selling me HER?” Then dance on. Music stops in about another 10 mins.
I proceed out of club and chop up every cute girl that gives me eyes. Cute girl from earlier comes out and says hi to me. I chat w/her some and the details come out. Ugly girl just broke up w/her BF. They came together. We start chatting more and I close her w/a “lets go eat street food.” She agrees. Then, kismet. 2 thai dudes come rolling up in a motorbike. They hop off and start chatting w/me and my cute thai girl and her drunk ugly friend. I ask them to take drunk girl home. They chat in fast thai, blah blah. 1 thai dude seems OK with me. 1 dude seems like a friendly guy, but I test him out and ask him which way is loi kroh road, best way to get there and he points me in the wrong direction. Hater alert!!!! This start getting dogdy now, my girl gets up but hugs me and gives me her #. Shes 19 and still in uni. Tells me to call her to meet tomorrow. Everybody hops on motorbike and I ask for ride. They tell me to get tuk-tuk. I explain, no way- I hate the tuk-tuk, and would rather walk the 1km.
Walk back and see that mcdonalds is still open (its 3.15 am in Chiang Mai). Start walking towards mcdonalds and see a girl that I chopped up earlier on in the night. Re-open her as she is pulling out on a motorbike and she is very receptive. I tell her to park, and grab her to mcdees. She just ate mcdees so I grab a burger to go. Australian/English dudes are there, but I ignore them because this bang is not a solid lead at this point. Any distractions can be fatal. Then I 7-11 milk-close her. Buy the milk, shoot the shit. Then walk up to my hotel w/her. We eat on my balcony, drink the milk, eat some chocolate, then I tell her to shower up. Obedient little thing. I shower, bang for 30 or so mins. My abs are freaking killing me at this point. Im exhausted and bust, and am not even satisfied.
Wake up around 10 clock to her shaking me- “I need go work.” I laugh and go back to sleep. She wakes me up again in 20 mins, I guess to bang, but I am too tired. I tell her I see you next time. She gets the hint then dresses and leaves.
PS- woah that was long.
Cliffnotes- Go trekking/elephant-riding. Am disgusted w/white girls. Go out at night and pull late-night swoop w/help of late-night mcdonalds. Close w/my 7-11 milk swoop. Smash until tired. Girl wakes me up at 10am to smash again. I go back to sleep.
WIA- For most of men, our time being masters of our own fate, kings in our own castles is short. Even those of us in the game will eventually succumb to ease of servitude rather than deal with the malaise of solitude
(This post was last modified: 12-12-2012 03:01 PM by DVY.)
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