Post: #376

(03-27-2016 02:10 PM)Killarmy Wrote:  Birthday cat, actually, I really appreciate your opinion.
Yes, I am brainfucked at the moment. And I am more than ready to read opinion that are completely trashing me (kinda) if constructive.

As for what you say about her:
I think I obviously idealize her. But even though she is women attracted (only had sex once with a woman, 10 times with a dude) doesnt make things impossible to me. Then... why would a girl like I describe (educated, not caring about money, apart from being amazing) never could be a dream relationship? Especially if a Paisa. I am really interested to read your thoughts.

@ Merenguero: I think I disagree with you when you say I seem to have done all the contrary of what is recommended here.
I met this girl in a random bar, almost said nothing to her but made her laugh and got her whatsapp. Then met her again, kissing/etc. Then, twice before our trip, she came to my place and we had some of the most amazing sex in my life.
It's my 5 days trip, 24/24 with her that seems to have fucked up everything. That said, apart from what I said about the difficulties of communication someone can encounter with a girl if not having a PERFECT spanish, it of course is a huge minus that the girl think you can always be like leaving tomorrow. (I could afford to stay here with my work but well..)

You fucked a hot girl who's fucked in the head, good for you, now walk away. She is not a dream girl and the last place she belongs is on a pedestal. Go fuck someone else.

Post: #377

Killarmy - It is obvious that you are "brainfucked" and drowning in your emotions so my direct and somewhat harsh tone is an attempt to get you to snap out of it.

Bisexuality in a girl is a red flag for promiscuity and emotional instability.

Colombian women may be attractive and very sexual but they can also be very deceptive, manipulative, and use men. You said that many of them use men for money so what makes you think they don't use men for other things? This girl is using you for the attention you are giving her which is a replacement for the attention that she isn't getting from the guy that she really likes..... and likely at a deeper level the attention she didn't get from her father.

I think it is common knowledge that Paisas are more deceptive and manipulative than other Colombian girls. It is part of their culture which is why it is impossible for you to change it within a specific girl. Lying is as natural as breathing to a lot of those girls.

Many upper class Colombian girls like to split the bills so I wouldn't put her on a pedestal for that. Some of these girls were brought up to believe that if a man pays then the girl owes him something so splitting the bill is simply her way of being independent and letting you know that you don't own her. It is probably a good thing but it also is common with girls who had absentee or cheating fathers and those girls are typically fucked in the head like Akwesi said.

Post: #378

Killarmy, you met this girl at a random bar and you think she's marriage material?

She admitted to fucking another guy while you were together, but you still believe her when she says she's only been with 10 guys?

You're ready to throw in the towel on all Colombian women because of one bad relationship with a bi-sexual, cheating whore who you picked up in a random bar?

Every see the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy? Right now the ring, the precious, has taken a hold of you and you are not yourself. You're acting like a crazy man who needs a bucket of water thrown at him. I've been there so I know what it's like, but you need to drop this girl for your own well-being and future.

As far as the paying goes. It's one thing to ask a western, career-woman to split the bill, but a traditional girl who doesn't have any money?

When I was in college I worked as a clerk in the store of an extremely wealthy and powerful man. Sometimes he would buy us lunch and even take us out to dinner at nice restaurants. He always paid and took it as an insult if you you tried to.

Do you think Don Corleone form the "The GodFather" would ask his dates to split the check?

How do you know if she likes you for you? By the way she treats you and your relationship. She should bringing everything to the table a good woman can offer and you should be doing the same from what a man can offer.

Post: #379

I lived in Medellin awhile. I wouldn't go there looking for a marriage material girl. And I say that as someone in a LTR with a Colombian (from Sincelejo). She agrees that the Paisas are particularly untrustworthy.

Post: #380

Thanks for your messages, especially Cat and Onto.
I agree with so much of what has been written off and I really need to calm down and put myself at question/analyze things with rationality like you all do. I think and hope I will quickly heal from this and hopefully quickly think "oh my god, it was so obvious that she was not for me and so obvious that there are TONS of girls like her "waiting for me"...
I am so attracted to write to her but I won't unless she comes to talk to me.

By the way; any advices on where to go outside of Parque Lleras / where to meet university girls from 18 to 25 years old are more than welcome... this is where I start to be a man again I guess.

Post: #381

For me the best place to meet better educated and wealthier girls has been in the Riu Sur Mall on Fridays and Saturdays. La Bolsa on the ground floor is a nice bar to have a few drinks and then go La Sixttina on the 7th floor. It is a decent night club and things get good there from 1am onwards. Send me a pm we can go there next weekend if you like.

Post: #382

(03-27-2016 06:03 PM)Killarmy Wrote:  Thanks for your messages, especially Cat and Onto.
I agree with so much of what has been written off and I really need to calm down and put myself at question/analyze things with rationality like you all do. I think and hope I will quickly heal from this and hopefully quickly think "oh my god, it was so obvious that she was not for me and so obvious that there are TONS of girls like her "waiting for me"...
I am so attracted to write to her but I won't unless she comes to talk to me.

By the way; any advices on where to go outside of Parque Lleras / where to meet university girls from 18 to 25 years old are more than welcome... this is where I start to be a man again I guess.

You're welcome. That's one of the things the forum is here for. We can be rational because we're not in the thick of it. Like a coach on the sideline watching his player we can see a more objective picture and help your game.

It's not easy to keep your head when your in deep with a hottie you hope is The One, but doing so can help you grow as a man.

Post: #383

(03-27-2016 06:12 PM)superschalk Wrote:  For me the best place to meet better educated and wealthier girls has been in the Riu Sur Mall on Fridays and Saturdays. La Bolsa on the ground floor is a nice bar to have a few drinks and then go La Sixttina on the 7th floor. It is a decent night club and things get good there from 1am onwards. Send me a pm we can go there next weekend if you like.

Hey superschalk - I will PM you for sure.

That said, I have been once in Rio Sur, I am living super close, walking distance. My head was already quite much with the girl from my original post but.. I was not so impressed by the place. I am ready to change my mind though. And I don't think there was a lot of gringos there, which is my most important point.

This has been a long day damn.. But I got so much better already thanks to some of you. Cheers

Post: #384

I can't really relate to your post because my Anglo Saxon ice cold heart won't allow me to open up to these girls and show too much emotion, I think that can be an advantage at the beginning but I've had a few Colombian girls tell me that I'm not carinoso or tierno (tender or loving) after dating them for awhile. During my last big night out in Medellin a few weeks ago, I took out a girl who I briefly dated four years ago but shook her loose because I was going to Asia (the proverbial "one that got away") and told her that I deeply regretted not pursuing a relationship with her (she's been dating a gringo ever since) and this chick has been blowing up my phone since, she was actually mad that I never told her that. Showing them affection and attention can definitely be a good thing as they like it and are more needy than western women but there's a fine line.

I rarely ever give game advice on here but basically what I'm getting at is that you have to find a balance with the emotions, don't be too cold but don't go over board with the soft shit. The Colombian guys do it, they will text and call these girls all day telling them how much they love them then go to a strip club at night and eat a hookers beaver in front of a hundred guys (seriously).

Medellin is tough city for all of us but its not impossible or ruined for foreign guys, I've dating some nice girls there but have also run through a bunch who weren't worth my time, most of them I realized that quick enough but a couple of them I wasted time and money on.

I don't think that you should have invited her on that trip like you did, you should have just went there then texted her that you were there and if she cared to join you, you'd pay for her bus down. Also, as far as paying goes, I pay for everything 90% of the time, the only time that I don't is when I go out with girls who I know are independently wealthy or come from rich families. Colombia is so cheap and dudes paying is such an ingrained part of the culture that I have no qualms about doing it.

It sounds like you could use a break from Medellin, I'd take a week or two trip back to El Eje Cafetero, Cali, Bogota or Barranquilla and bang a few skanks to get your mojo back. We've all had our issues in Medellin, some guys do indeed kill it there but most don't, myself included. These chicas are Gringo eaters and have tons of options, you know the warning signs now so try to avoid those types.

Post: #385

There are plenty of marriage material women in Medellin. I'd marry a paisa over a gringa any day. However, a 22 year old bisexual paisa who wants to explore and bangs guys at the same time she's banging you is not marriage material.

If you want a serious relationship with a paisa, you need to show that you are a reasonable option. There are so many gringos passing through here that they don't believe that any are going to live here and build a life with them. Of course she chose a 36 year old paisa over you, because he is staying here and you are not. Many paisas have told me they like older guys because they have already experimented and are ready to settle down. These girls live in unstable circumstances and are looking for some stability.

So, it's not a big surprise she chose a 36 year old paisa over a 32 year old traveler; especially a traveler that doesn't pay for any of her things when she is a middle class college student who had to ask for the money to travel in the first place.

If you are aiming for a rich, educated, young, and hot paisa, you better bring a lot to the table. Every guy is competing for these girls and if you're a traveler you have no chance of locking her down.

You say your game is good, but you have a lot of work to do, especially with your inner game. Improve your confidence, your spanish, your look, your lifestyle. If you really want a paisa, set down roots in Medellin. After you've done those things, you'll start attracting better options.

Post: #386

What newgame says is correct. There are plenty of marriage-worthy girls in Medellin, but if you want something Estrato 4+ (under 20% of the general population), you're probably going to be competing against Colombian guys that have their shit together (though with little to no game). And you get little credit for being foreign (if you're a white north american anyway) in Medellin. It's very true about wanting older more established guys. On online sites, I was constantly getting DQed there for being too young, a problem I don't generally have elsewhere.

Unless your girl being from Medellin is important to you - say you want to live there permanently - I'd visit some other Colombian cities. You can find a spouse in Medellin, but it'd probably be easier for you elsewhere in Colombia. Make sure you know what you want before you invest the needed time building your social circle and demonstrating that you aren't a fly-by-night traveler.

Post: #387

Hello guys. Thanks again for sharing your opinions to me. Meant a lot to me and definitely helped.
I really love Medellin but I can agree that another city could be a good option. Manizales quite attracted me for example. But I don't see myself out of here though... I too much like it, not only for the girls.
Scotian, your message is to me something I should read again and again whenever I feel like I met ''someone''. Thanks.

Regarding THE girl... Yes, I know, I should just move away. Actually, I did not sent any message to her since leaving her Saturday night.. I just uploaded a Facebook Photo Album today, with just a few photos, calling her ''my best paisa friend'' and nothing else. No signs from her, no likes, no message..
I will wait until like Thursday evening and send her a quite big message I have already written, influenced a lot I have read here and another forum I shared my story with. Basically about how I wanted not to message her for some time so she could clear her head, confess my mistakes, tell how I would stay here forever when I will find the ''right person'' (I technically probably can) but also tell her how I think she manipulated me etc.

I know I sound like I am still ''under water'' and it is a bit the case, I hardly can think about something else than her. But I just think too much happened between us to just ''drop things'' and never see her again etc. We will see what happen.

BUT... at the same time, I am motivated as ever to try to meet some new girls, and yes, definitely Estrato 4 and +. The best medication to a girl is always another one in my world.
Even if not true, I want to beat the typical Colombian guy by being ''that foreigner that actually want to stay here forever''. If not with her (most probably), with someone else, even more amazing and even more beautiful. Someone actually told me to go for some day game, at EAFIT University or in some of the Commercial Centers near where I live. (Santa Fé, Oviedo, etc.)
I am really interested about EAFIT, did any one ever go there? What are your lines to talk to some girls at an university campus? I was thinking to just go there and speak to some girls telling ''I need to improve my Spanish thus I am thinking about having classes there - where to go?'' - Or something like ''I might start to study here next semester, where is the information center?''. Then talk.
And what are your lines in a Commercial Center? I basically just thought about asking ''direction'' for a shop and then start a conversation?

Anyway, could be fun to meet some of you so please don't hesitate to PM, especially if up for some game.

Cheers

Post: #388

Forget about this girl; you already came off as too needy.

You don't talk like a guy who has lots of options and you need to change that. If you had more options you would have already forgotten about this girl and instead of you having to post pics of her on facebook and message her all the time, she would be the one pursuing you (or at least showing much more interest).

You don't need to live here or promise them you will live here to date them (at least not all of them), but you will probably have to do that if you want a LTR. Keep it casual at first; let her push it along at the pace she wants to go. If she goes too slow for you then start looking at other options; when she notices your interest in other girls she'll end it or try to lock you down. You can't force a girl into a relationship no matter how hard you try.

Post: #389

I'd recommend taking classes at UPB instead of EAFIT. Fewer foreigners in that neighborhood and I believe they're cheaper as well. The area around UPB is good for day game, I liked to set up shop in the centro directly in front of the UPB main gate when I lived there.

Post: #390

Nevermind.

Post: #391

(03-28-2016 06:43 PM)newgame Wrote:  Forget about this girl; you already came off as too needy.

You don't talk like a guy who has lots of options and you need to change that. If you had more options you would have already forgotten about this girl and instead of you having to post pics of her on facebook and message her all the time, she would be the one pursuing you (or at least showing much more interest).

You don't need to live here or promise them you will live here to date them (at least not all of them), but you will probably have to do that if you want a LTR. Keep it casual at first; let her push it along at the pace she wants to go. If she goes too slow for you then start looking at other options; when she notices your interest in other girls she'll end it or try to lock you down. You can't force a girl into a relationship no matter how hard you try.

Though I agree with most you said:
- I did not send her any message since leaving her Saturday night.
- I have put pictures mostly of our trip, with very few pictures of her, @ Facebook. Calling her a friend and mentioning nothing special about her. I thought I kinda had to do it now since it wouldn't make sense later.
- As I wrote, I won't message her at all until Thursday, then, send her a big message, with cold head for both of us. Influenced by a lot I have read here and somewhere else. Yes, I showed I am too needy but no, I won't give up 100%. Especially since I think I have live too much things with her to just let it go like nothing happened.

Then, anyway, I strongly like and agree with your advice... You can't force a girl to be with you, but you can try to make her lock you down.
Good advice for her. Or, once again, most probably, just another girl.
And yes, I will make sure SHE knows she is not the only one.

EDIT: Actually... She just shared my whole album in her Facebook wall... She wrote'' Un viaje lleno de enseñanzas con una increible persona <3'' (Basically, ''A trip full of lessons with an incredible person'' (She told me so much times that she was learning so much things with me, which actually was in the list of ''amazing things she would tell me many times''...)
Damn. Fuck my life, I am living in a fucking novela and I am a fucking drama queen.

Post: #392

Her sharing the album on her wall should serve it's purpose well in getting her Colombian lover worked up. See her game? You're helping her and gave her a great card to play.

No matter what country you're in, no girl likes a needy guy. That's universal.

If you really want to lock down this special snowflake who cheated on you and wouldn't hold your hand then you need to use "distance". It's the one thing that is hardest for you to do right now, but paradoxically it's the one thing, short of driving up in a new Lamborghini, that "may" build some attraction towards you.

I would wait for her to contact you and then be friendly, but busy. Busy because you're doing other things. Once the Colombian guy is done drilling her in the ass six ways from Sunday, he'll move on to something else and she'll be ready to pursue you if she's still interested.

Or you can continue to be needy and see how that goes.

Edit: I don't mean to be harsh about it. That's just me trying to throw the bucket of ice water at you.

Post: #393

(03-27-2016 02:10 PM)Killarmy Wrote:  @ Merenguero: I think I disagree with you when you say I seem to have done all the contrary of what is recommended here.
I met this girl in a random bar, almost said nothing to her but made her laugh and got her whatsapp. Then met her again, kissing/etc. Then, twice before our trip, she came to my place and we had some of the most amazing sex in my life.
It's my 5 days trip, 24/24 with her that seems to have fucked up everything. That said, apart from what I said about the difficulties of communication someone can encounter with a girl if not having a PERFECT spanish, it of course is a huge minus that the girl think you can always be like leaving tomorrow. (I could afford to stay here with my work but well..)

I've seen pictures of that El Deck place and it looks like it has the worst male/female ratio I have ever seen in Latin America, maybe even as bad as Southern California ratios, and below average quality for Colombia, and Colombians don't impress me at all. As for the rest of this person's points/posts, I don't even know where to start. Maybe when I get some rest, I can address some of them.

Post: #394

(03-28-2016 08:07 PM)Onto Wrote:  Her sharing the album on her wall should serve it's purpose well in getting her Colombian lover worked up. See her game? You're helping her and gave her a great card to play.

No matter what country you're in, no girl likes a needy guy. That's universal.

If you really want to lock down this special snowflake who cheated on you and wouldn't hold your hand then you need to use "distance". It's the one thing that is hardest for you to do right now, but paradoxically it's the one thing, short of driving up in a new Lamborghini, that "may" build some attraction towards you.

I would wait for her to contact you and then be friendly, but busy. Busy because you're doing other things. Once the Colombian guy is done drilling her in the ass six ways from Sunday, he'll move on to something else and she'll be ready to pursue you if she's still interested.

Or you can continue to be needy and see how that goes.

Edit: I don't mean to be harsh about it. That's just me trying to throw the bucket of ice water at you.

I really appreciate your message, this is not harsh at all, thanks about it.
Actually, I plan to do kind of as you wrote. Not talk to her for quite some days and see what happens. If things goes without nothing happening, her sending a message, for a week, I will just send her the mail I plan to send her. If you do not mind, I would send you it in PM and I think you would realize I don't intend to look needy or something.

@ Merenguero. Actually, somehow, I happened to be in the Deck in that ''miraculous'' night where it was a great night, with a great ambiance and quite many girls to look into. Actually, apart from ''THE'' girl number, I got 2 other whatsapp that night.. But, we went back there twice and it was really bad, indeed. If you have recommendations for non-full-of-gringos places with not too much seating place (the horrible thing for night game), I am of course glad to read you.

PS: ''My'' girl is not a 10 but certainly close to it if perfection is for you someone with a pure ''Victoria Street Model body type''. And that is what I always wished for to be honest.
PS2: Actually... after sharing it for like an hour... (and after I gave it a ''like'', which was probably stupid), she... just deleted the album from her Facebook wall. Shows well how crazy and unstable she is. (which unfortunately makes her even more attractive though).
Shows well how I should fucking run away like you all say...

Post: #395

(03-28-2016 09:13 PM)Killarmy Wrote:  @ Merenguero. Actually, somehow, I happened to be in the Deck in that ''miraculous'' night where it was a great night, with a great ambiance and quite many girls to look into. Actually, apart from ''THE'' girl number, I got 2 other whatsapp that night.. But, we went back there twice and it was really bad, indeed. If you have recommendations for non-full-of-gringos places with not too much seating place (the horrible thing for night game), I am of course glad to read you.

PS: ''My'' girl is not a 10 but certainly close to it if perfection is for you someone with a pure ''Victoria Street Model body type''. And that is what I always wished for to be honest.
PS2: Actually... after sharing it for like an hour... (and after I gave it a ''like'', which was probably stupid), she... just deleted the album from her Facebook wall. Shows well how crazy and unstable she is. (which unfortunately makes her even more attractive though).
Shows well how I should fucking run away like you all say...

I think your heart's in the right place, but that you have been ignoring other posters' advice like many guys tend to do in the Miami and Las Vegas threads. I can't tell you about good night venues in Medellin. All I can say is nightgame in and around Parque Lleras is bad at best and a complete waste of time at worst. Prepagos, clueless tourists, girls with guys, girls who won't even accept a drink (rare for anywhere), etc. I used to like the old Mangos. It was nothing great, but pretty easy to at least get numbers from quality girls.

I try not to repeat myself from thread to thread, but I definitely feel as though I have to here. Daygame, social circle, and online game is how you get most of the girls in Medellin. If you go to Mall Santa Fe, they often have promotions with car companies who put models up in the mall. Go up to the model girl, hand her flowers and your number and thank me later. Has anyone ever tried that strategy and failed?

Post: #396

Killarmy, youre not living in a novela just because she shared a facebook album. But yes you are a drama queen just stooop.

And dont send that long message that you have ready either.

Is this going to be one of those threads where everyone cares and advises you but you do whatever you want anyway then have a small success and come here and tell us how you were right, then you crash and burn?

Post: #397

Beirut, you are totally right. I will just stop there. And no, I won't send her a message. If she wants to message me, I will just answer as cold as possible. If she doesn't want to message me, then fuck it. She is not the only one in this planet and I plan to see a girl almost every night during this week (including one from Bello I have already fucked)

If anything happens, I will write here in a few days.
Thanks again for all the answers - keep it going @ Medellin - and keep going the good advices, especially for day game.

Cheers

Post: #398

I just have a random question on Medellin that maybe someone can chime in on, since Killarmy just mentioned Bello....

What's up with these areas like Bello or Rionegro that are like 35-45 minutes outside of Medellin? Anyone ever go out there for night game? Is there anything out there at night? Seems the exotic factor would go up a bit again in those areas, compared to Poblado or Envigado.

Post: #399

Natas305, my best advice for those other barrios and cities in and around Medellin is to read other forums or sites and use the search function here, helped me a tonne.

There seems to be a reason why many don't venture out to other places (safety, comfort, language etc). They stick to lleras and poblado and don't explore the rest.

To answer your question, more or less each town has their zona rosa or bar districts. Poblado for example has lleras, industriales, rio sur etc. Bello has a few of its own. I am sure you ran into a girl from Bello or some other barrio. Just ask her, a donde puedo ir si quiero rumbiar a (name barrio here)? (Where can I go to party in said barrio. During the day, head over to niquia. The last stop north on the metro, hit the mall and restaurants/bars there and just ask people men or women who are working about Bello. I have no clue what night game venues you like. Do you like to salsa? Do you like Fonda bars etc. Pick their brains as its a trek to get there and you don't want to waste your time in a taxi on a sat night.

With that being said I do not recommend the "exotic" outside poblado places for nightlife for newbies. learn the ropes

Post: #400

Hows the weather in June/July? And how common is it to find a place with A/C?

Serious question. Hah