Post: #276

Realistically, do any of you guys ever really say these lines? I couldn't pull out something like that in this situation. I might just go with something innocuous like, "Excuse me, (her: yes?), I think my watch is slow. Do you have the exact time?" From there, I'd gauge her friendliness and maybe bullshit about my POS watch for a few seconds then transition into something else. Maybe the book she's reading. Maybe something else. I'm very situational and can pull shit out of my ass fairly well a lot of the time so keeping it going is not usually a problem unless she's really cold.

Going direct and making it obvious it's a pickup can work, sure, but instead of her feeling like, "fucking guy's trying to pick me up and all I wanted to do was read my book", she's more likely to feel, "guy with busted watch asked me for the time and we started talking and wow, he was really great". I can't think of many girls who prefer to be "picked up" over a "fateful" meeting so unless I'm in a club or something like that, I find indirect works better for me. Deep down, they know it's likely to be a bullshit excuse to talk to her anyway, but on the conscious level, it gives her the excuse she needs to not feel like a slut.

You guys don't find the same thing?

Post: #277

I think that most of the lines offered up are innocuous. Telling a girl she found a nice spot to read just tells her that you are a chatty person. Direct would be going in and saying something like "do you have a boyfriend". Something that immediately dictates that you are interested in her intimately. When I am in public reading it's not too uncommon for someone (male or female to ask me what I'm reading).

Also, if someone has gone to a public place to read, don't you think they are interested in meeting people? If you just want to read it's easier to just do so at home and there are fewer distractions.

With this in mind and the fact that girls often do this solo I think it's a prime opportunity to approach them.

thoughts?

Post: #278

(06-27-2013 12:18 AM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  Realistically, do any of you guys ever really say these lines? I couldn't pull out something like that in this situation. I might just go with something innocuous like, "Excuse me, (her: yes?), I think my watch is slow. Do you have the exact time?" From there, I'd gauge her friendliness and maybe bullshit about my POS watch for a few seconds then transition into something else. Maybe the book she's reading. Maybe something else. I'm very situational and can pull shit out of my ass fairly well a lot of the time so keeping it going is not usually a problem unless she's really cold.

Going direct and making it obvious it's a pickup can work, sure, but instead of her feeling like, "fucking guy's trying to pick me up and all I wanted to do was read my book", she's more likely to feel, "guy with busted watch asked me for the time and we started talking and wow, he was really great". I can't think of many girls who prefer to be "picked up" over a "fateful" meeting so unless I'm in a club or something like that, I find indirect works better for me. Deep down, they know it's likely to be a bullshit excuse to talk to her anyway, but on the conscious level, it gives her the excuse she needs to not feel like a slut.

You guys don't find the same thing?

I get what you're saying, but there's a couple underlying issues to breakdown:

1) Assuming that she won't recognize an opening like "Excuse me, (her: yes?), I think my watch is slow. Do you have the exact time?" as a pick up attempt. I mean, people often have watches AND cell phones these days. Plus, why her compared to any one else around, esp. if you had to walk over out of your way.

2) If you're trying to develop situational social skills, regardless of game or meeting people in general, it probably doesn't help to use an incongruent memorized opener like that where you try to force it to fit the situation. Easier solution is to observe something about them, or the environment around you if you want to start out more indirect.

3)

Quote:instead of her feeling like, "fucking guy's trying to pick me up and all I wanted to do was read my book"

You're assuming from the start that if you don't initiate the conversation at some sort of high level, she'll immediately consider you annoying or a bother. If you have the confidence/vibe/value to begin with, it doesn't matter the exact words you use, as long as it's not blatantly socially awkward.

4)

Quote:I can't think of many girls who prefer to be "picked up" over a "fateful" meeting

You may have heard this quote before: "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter"

I'm gonna give you my game version: "One girl's pick up attempt is another girl's chance encounter"

Hell, I was just searching for some phrasing around fate to complete the above modified quote, and came across this: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-to-Get-Lucky/1

Quote:Still, even if she wasn't expecting to meet Mr. Right when she pulled up to the drive-through window, she did know she wanted to engage the world differently. And she believes she met her husband because she had mentally prepared for a chance encounter. By seeding her mind with the vision of more connected and fulfilling relationships, Seifert says, she gave her mind instant access to this information when she ran into someone new. And that, in turn, helped her change her behavior and take action.

Women's natural predisposition towards stuff like serendipity, astrology, or God awful books like "The Secret" show us the strength of backwards rationalization.

She will gladly tell her friends the story of meeting the charming man out during the day, since this makes her the star of a classic romantic story. It also instantly gets attention focused on her as "a catch" since it wasn't through online dating/bar/social circle that you two met (most likely what's normal to her friends), rather, it was just a pure spontaneous "connection."


Finally, don't take this personal. Your post just helped as a springboard for me to consolidate some thoughts together. As we all improve ourselves as men, girls will be more annoyed by not getting our attention, rather than your initial assumption. Remember that if you focus on these doubts too much, it will come through in person, so you don't want to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Now keep us posted on how things go from here!

Post: #279

(06-27-2013 01:45 AM)Gopher Wrote:  I think that most of the lines offered up are innocuous. Telling a girl she found a nice spot to read just tells her that you are a chatty person. Direct would be going in and saying something like "do you have a boyfriend". Something that immediately dictates that you are interested in her intimately. When I am in public reading it's not too uncommon for someone (male or female to ask me what I'm reading).

Also, if someone has gone to a public place to read, don't you think they are interested in meeting people? If you just want to read it's easier to just do so at home and there are fewer distractions.

With this in mind and the fact that girls often do this solo I think it's a prime opportunity to approach them.

thoughts?

I was talking about cocky lines like MattC's for example: "Hey, you know if you get a Kindle it reduces the sun glare? Then you can take them silly shades off and look at me properly."

There are openers that show the only reason you talked to her was out of sexual interest and there are openers that could be nothing more than she was conveniently located for the question at hand. She might feel like you just used that to talk to her, but she doesn't know for sure. Plus, the cockiness of MattC's line basically says, check out how awesome I am. There are a lot of openers in this thread that are funny to read and make me laugh but I don't think people are actually using them in real life. So I asked.

The nice spot line would still leave her room to wonder if you just used it to hit on her or are just friendly, but I think her level of confidence in thinking that you're just hitting on her would be very high considering you follow up with asking for her number or date.

As far as going to public places to read, staying home 24/7 is never fun. People like to go out for various reasons. To meet people is one, but some people just like to get out and enjoy the nice weather, go surround themselves with nature, look at all the cute babies, catch a tan... Who knows. Just getting out of the house when it's so nice is a pretty big one though, imo.

But don't get me wrong. I never said or implied that you shouldn't approach. If you're in public, you're a viable target afaic.

Post: #280

(06-27-2013 01:54 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  I get what you're saying, but there's a couple underlying issues to breakdown:

1) Assuming that she won't recognize an opening like "Excuse me, (her: yes?), I think my watch is slow. Do you have the exact time?" as a pick up attempt. I mean, people often have watches AND cell phones these days. Plus, why her compared to any one else around, esp. if you had to walk over out of your way.

I know you were just trying to help (me and yourself too by writing it out), but I think you've misread almost the entire post.

I'm not assuming she won't recognize it as a pick up attempt. I'm saying that it leaves her with enough room for doubt. She can think what she wants, yes, but there's a difference between believing it and recognizing something. If you go up to her and just start with "hi", it leaves a lot less room for doubt that it's an attempt at a pickup. Watch the wording. "more", "less", "doubt", etc. I'm not drawing anything here in black and white.

(06-27-2013 01:54 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  2) If you're trying to develop situational social skills, regardless of game or meeting people in general, it probably doesn't help to use an incongruent memorized opener like that where you try to force it to fit the situation. Easier solution is to observe something about them, or the environment around you if you want to start out more indirect.

I said "I might say something like", not "I will say xxxx next time I see this situation." Meaning, if I found myself at a park, wandering around and saw this girl like that, reading, I would probably say something like that. That's what this thread is about, imagining yourself there and thinking about what you might say. No definites here.

(06-27-2013 01:54 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  3)

Quote:instead of her feeling like, "fucking guy's trying to pick me up and all I wanted to do was read my book"

You're assuming from the start that if you don't initiate the conversation at some sort of high level, she'll immediately consider you annoying or a bother. If you have the confidence/vibe/value to begin with, it doesn't matter the exact words you use, as long as it's not blatantly socially awkward.

Nope. You're assuming I'm assuming. I don't assume that at all. What I do assume is that *most* women, *most* of the time, would rather have a "chance encounter" than be picked up deliberately. It's your choice to believe this or not. Nothing to do with bother or annoyance and I don't think one is any "higher level" than the other.

(06-27-2013 01:54 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  4)

Quote:I can't think of many girls who prefer to be "picked up" over a "fateful" meeting

You may have heard this quote before: "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter"

I'm gonna give you my game version: "One girl's pick up attempt is another girl's chance encounter"

Just to be clear, you disagree with my statement? So, you think that *most* women would rather be "picked up" than to have what they can consider "fate"? I know you followed up with how they will remember it the way they want to but that's what I'm saying. You walk up to a girl with something like, "take your glasses off so you can get a better look at me" and she doesn't have much to work with to twist that around to 'fate'. Talk about a broken watch and she does. The cell phone can be 'forgotten' at home. You could have forgotten you're carrying it. And to reiterate, it's not the only possible opener. It is only one that I *might* use in that situation.

(06-27-2013 01:54 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  Finally, don't take this personal. Your post just helped as a springboard for me to consolidate some thoughts together. As we all improve ourselves as men, girls will be more annoyed by not getting our attention, rather than your initial assumption. Remember that if you focus on these doubts too much, it will come through in person, so you don't want to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

No worries. Didn't take it personally, but you once again put words in my mouth by saying that my assumption is that women are bothered by men. I don't think that. If you do, you're right though, it would be best to get those thoughts out of your head asap!

Post: #281

(06-27-2013 12:18 AM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  Realistically, do any of you guys ever really say these lines?

Yes.

Every line that I write here on the forum is a line that I would use in real life. Most of them, I have used.

Many of them have led to dates and sex.

(06-27-2013 12:18 AM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  I might just go with something innocuous like, "Excuse me, (her: yes?), I think my watch is slow. Do you have the exact time?"

This type of line can actually raise her suspicions because often times then can get a sense that you are lying.

It's only "innocuous" if your vibe and body language is also "innocuous".

If your body language and vibe do not match your words, she might get suspicious.

(06-27-2013 12:18 AM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  instead of her feeling like, "fucking guy's trying to pick me up and all I wanted to do was read my book"

Her "feelings" are determined by your vibe, looks, personality, speaking style and speaking tone.

Her "feelings" are affected by how you talk and present yourself, not by the exact words you use.

I could just go up to her and say -- "hey, you're cute, whats your name?"

If my look, vibe, body language and tone are soft and non threatening, she probably won't feel any threat.

But, I could say the same thing with a weird look on my face and she will get creeped out.

It's not so much what you say, but how you say it.

Your frame will likely determine her feelings about you.

(06-27-2013 12:18 AM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  I can't think of many girls who prefer to be "picked up" over a "fateful" meeting

The "pick up" should feel like a "fateful" meeting.

This is where social skill comes in. Can you make it "feel" natural and normal?

Your example is not a "fateful" meeting. You are just pretending that its a "fateful meeting".

Your approach could creep her out more than a direct approach. It all depends how it is done.

Also,

You are underestimating how much girls like to be approached. They love it, if its done smoothly.

Thats why going direct can work many times. You don't have to pretend anything. You can just be honest. You'd be surprised how well girls respond to that type of raw, directness sometimes.

Words alone will not dictate her feelings. It's your total frame and vibe that will dictate her feelings.

Any approach can seem creepy is the guys vibe is creepy.

And, on the other hand, any approach can seem non-threatening, if the guys vibe is non-threatening.

This is an art not a science.

Post: #282

"Alright...what you doing there then?"

Post: #283

(06-26-2013 01:56 AM)Irrelephant Wrote:  

(06-25-2013 10:29 PM)Doulos2Game Wrote:  

(06-25-2013 06:38 PM)Gopher Wrote:  

I see this all the time but can't come up with anything better than "what are we reading?"

I bet your life is more interesting than that book. What is it about?

You better check first if the book is not from A Song of Ice and Fire series (Game of Thrones), or she might answer you with two quotes:


"A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one".

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge"

Perfect moment to give one of the best quotes I have ever thought of.

"No one ever writes an interesting book about reading books."

If your life can't be turned into a book then you are not living. What good is reading about a thousand lives if your own sucks?

Post: #284

"Is it a good tree?"

Never gets old.

I would just sit next to her, assume the same pose and started / pretended to read something. Then go "Hey, that's my spot!"

Post: #285

(06-27-2013 02:57 PM)Doulos2Game Wrote:  

(06-26-2013 01:56 AM)Irrelephant Wrote:  

(06-25-2013 10:29 PM)Doulos2Game Wrote:  

(06-25-2013 06:38 PM)Gopher Wrote:  

I see this all the time but can't come up with anything better than "what are we reading?"

I bet your life is more interesting than that book. What is it about?

You better check first if the book is not from A Song of Ice and Fire series (Game of Thrones), or she might answer you with two quotes:


"A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one".

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge"

Perfect moment to give one of the best quotes I have ever thought of.

"No one ever writes an interesting book about reading books."

If your life can't be turned into a book then you are not living. What good is reading about a thousand lives if your own sucks?

No one ever writes a good, interesting book without some previous reading practice.

I can imagine 34920492 reasons why one's life would suck, but I cannot see how reading could be implied here. Besides, if one's life really sucks and there's no way to fix it, reading can at least bring some comfort.

It seems you think that reading is a waste of time. If this is really your opinion, fine. I just don't think that an opening line that voices/suggest this opinion is a good strategy to approach a nerdish chick who clearly likes to read.

Post: #286

(10-18-2012 04:30 AM)houston Wrote:  I've already posted a simple line to use on all fast food workers. Wait until the customers move around and tell her that she forgot something with a confused look on your face. When she asks what, say her number.

RE: Fastfood worker

What houston said but I'd make sure we'd have a good little chuckle in the initial process of me ordering my food from her. That way she totally knows who I am and is pleasantly surprised when one of the few highlights of her working day returns.

Post: #287

Post: #288

"Pockets are showing. Sloppy dresser. 2/10. WNB"

Post: #289

“Do you work out?"

Sets up the possibility of kino escalation, and retains the option of going nuclear in case f a blowout.

Edit : lothario, sharp eyes! Daayum

Post: #290

Any one notice the ring on the finger ?

Anyways I would open with

1. Are those Daisy Duke Shorts ? ........and then ramble about Daisy Duke Shorts, Origin of the word, girls who have worn them in movies , through in bait etc etc

Post: #291

Post: #292

(11-01-2013 06:59 PM)master_thespian Wrote:  

"Whats up girl"
"Damn! Hello"
"Excuse me sweetie, you have a booger in your nose"
"hey, your nipple is showing"

(11-01-2013 10:06 PM)369eyedea Wrote:  

"Excuse me, does this bus go to the university"
"Excuse me, I'm from out of town, where is the Hyatt Hotel from here"
"Hi. is this the bus stop? What time does the next bus come?"

Post: #293

(11-01-2013 10:06 PM)369eyedea Wrote:  

This is Simple.

"Nice Shoes"

Then go a ramble about shoes ..........

Post: #294

"Are you on a contract?"


This line is gold. Almost every chick is staring blankly at her phone these days. Get her to give you some advice on what phone you should get. Transition into normal conversation.


Smooth.

Post: #295

bump, pretty good thread. how would you approach her?

Post: #296

(10-29-2014 01:37 PM)Blackliter Wrote:  bump, pretty good thread. how would you approach her?

Hey, do you need a new pair of socks?

Post: #297

(10-29-2014 01:37 PM)Blackliter Wrote:  bump, pretty good thread. how would you approach her?

"That pavement looks hot. Need someone to carry you?" You have to be careful, or it could come across as super beta
"Those shoes might serve you better on your feet, you know."
"Running away from home, are you?"

Post: #298

"Hey..." pause, smirk <--this is my standard, gives me a second

"...I think I have an extra pair of hanes in the back if you need em" (I'm thinking of driving on the tiny tiny road)

the proceed to explain how you aren't sure what style, ankle or high, what type of cotton, tease her on her softness needs.

(but I would never actually pull my car over and say hi...a lot of uphill battle removing the creepy hitchhike-pickerupper default vibe)

Post: #299

Barefoot girl:

"Are there any good places to get some food around here?"

Never state the obvious, guys. You're using beginner daygame. I'm disappointed. Five minutes in--or at a lull--you can be like, "What's wrong with your feet?"

Post: #300

Barefoot girl:

"Shakira?!?!"

and a smirk.