Post: #1

So a girl I was considering for an LTR, 29, has a gay friend she went to high school with. He lives in a different part of the world, but drops by every few months and they meet up. She's also in touch with him over social media, not excessively but now and then.

In the past the gay friend undermined me in terms of trying to sabotage the relationship with the girl by speculating about why I won't be a good fit for her.

Anyway, so he's back in town and whilst I did not tell her I don't want her to see him, I have made clear I don't like it. This led to the usual, bigot, insecure, jealous, etc accusations, you can't tell me who I'll see - which I never did. I merely said I don't like it.

What is the best way to deal with the gay friend problem?

Post: #2

The Sex and the City inspired GBF or Gay Best Friend phenomenon needs to be nipped in the bud immediately. I dated a Robert Palmer video Addicted to Love looking Girl who trained in Olympic Level Dressage - a former Military Infantry Officer Stallion War Maneuvaers and discipline sport that has become notoriously overrun by Homosexual Men.

Horse Beatch actually gave me a lecture why I needed to be nice to her gay friends that routinely used her single family home she bought as their flophouse and did all of her cooking, laundry and cleaning in return while she worked as the finance manager for a noted Billionaires High-End Auto Dealerships.

At first I tolerated this shite until her FagFanBoys started with their typical agent-provocateur behavior bad mouthing me to her as I was a threat to their free flop-house rackets. I called her out and asked why the hell she was remotely interested in me - because she did not want "Gay" sons and sought out the most real masculine man she could.

The FagFanBoys were just pure evil and she and they as a degenerate package got nexted for their psycho tag team behaviour.

Post: #3

It's not a gay friend problem, it's a relationship problem. She values that relationship more than the one with you, and it doesn't appear to be changing. While I am new around here, this behavior is something I have been exposed to in my past. She already knows you don't like the guy, and she stills entertains it. Do you really think it's gonna get any better? If this was a girl instead of a gay guy, would it be any different in your eyes?

Unless you are open to being second fiddle to her gay friend talking trash about you, it might be time to explore other options.

Post: #4

Gay dudes are nothing but trouble. I used to have some gay friends and they were all degenerate social leaches. A lot of them were switch hitters as well, each gay friend I've ever had talked about disarming women with their gayness and then partying with the girls getting drunk and fucking them. You may be surprised how often that works, a lot of those dudes were getting laid by more women than I was at the time.

I've long been suspicious that all gay dudes are switch hitters. They also poison all of their relationships. They're like women when it comes to talking shit only with more killer instinct.

Any girl that has gay friends that you're thinking of LTRing needs to be educated then politely asked to drop them. If she doesn't comply soft next into the "plate" category.

Her calling you a bigot, insecure, etc is a real bad sign man. It means that she's willing to let her friends fuck with your relationship, and she's willing to defend them by attacking you. Not exactly the pinnacle of submission and loyalty. I'd have a talk with her and then drop her if it doesn't go well. 29 is too old anyway.

Post: #5

@Deepdiver

Thanks, man, that is exactly what this Gay friend did to me, badmouthed me to the girl saying I was not a good fit. I never even met the guy. The girl told me what he said about me and laughed it off. It's not that I'm concerned his 'dating advice' would cause any issue, I just don't like her meeting this gay Yoko in principle.

But he seems to have some weird hold over her and my girl's best, female, friend. They are just crazy about the guy, as they go way back in high school, he lent them money before as well.

Judging how she reacted to me merely expressing my dislike about her meeting the guy, which was met with a diatribe about 'bigot, jealous, insecure, you can't tell me who to see', I am now more inclined to tell her to break off all contact and just next her if she refuses.

I actually think it's a good test, if she chooses some gay mofo over what I have to offer, she was never a keeper anywa. A good way to see maybe?

At first I thought I should be careful about this, it's already blown up in my face.

Post: #6

(11-03-2018 04:09 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  It's not a gay friend problem, it's a relationship problem. She values that relationship more than the one with you, and it doesn't appear to be changing. While I am new around here, this behavior is something I have been exposed to in my past. She already knows you don't like the guy, and she stills entertains it. Do you really think it's gonna get any better? If this was a girl instead of a gay guy, would it be any different in your eyes?

Unless you are open to being second fiddle to her gay friend talking trash about you, it might be time to explore other options.

I think you are spot on. That's the way I am leaning as well.

Post: #7

(11-03-2018 04:09 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  It's not a gay friend problem, it's a relationship problem. She values that relationship more than the one with you, and it doesn't appear to be changing. While I am new around here, this behavior is something I have been exposed to in my past. She already knows you don't like the guy, and she stills entertains it. Do you really think it's gonna get any better? If this was a girl instead of a gay guy, would it be any different in your eyes?

Unless you are open to being second fiddle to her gay friend talking trash about you, it might be time to explore other options.

I think your on to it. The problem is that if you were in a solid place in your relationship, then she would get offended or put off by anyone putting you down, but that doesn't appear to be the case here. Whether its a gay friend, or one of her girlfriends making negative comments, its the same thing, and she should understand it.

The fact that she is getting defensive and not understanding why you have a legitimate reason to not like him (again, completely disregarding the "gay" aspect, just the fact that he disrespected you) is a huge red flag. Coming back to the gay aspect, as deepdiver said they love drama, so I wouldn't expect the disrespect to stop.

I would be ready to walk away, and show that attitude in future discussions about him.

Post: #8

(11-03-2018 04:11 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  Gay dudes are nothing but trouble. I used to have some gay friends and they were all degenerate social leaches. A lot of them were switch hitters as well, each gay friend I've ever had talked about disarming women with their gayness and then partying with the girls getting drunk and fucking them. You may be surprised how often that works, a lot of those dudes were getting laid by more women than I was at the time.

I've long been suspicious that all gay dudes are switch hitters. They also poison all of their relationships. They're like women when it comes to talking shit only with more killer instinct.

Any girl that has gay friends that you're thinking of LTRing needs to be educated then politely asked to drop them. If she doesn't comply soft next into the "plate" category.

Her calling you a bigot, insecure, etc is a real bad sign man. It means that she's willing to let her friends fuck with your relationship, and she's willing to defend them by attacking you. Not exactly the pinnacle of submission and loyalty. I'd have a talk with her and then drop her if it doesn't go well. 29 is too old anyway.

Well, you confirmed what my thoughts were about this, thanks man. I thought maybe I'd need to tolerate it, but the way this has gone, I think this may be something to take a stand on. I thought if I ask her to break contact with the guy she'd dig her heels in, but I'm beyond that point now. Unless she breaks off all contact with him, I don't think we can go on.

Post: #9

(11-03-2018 04:11 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  I've long been suspicious that all gay dudes are switch hitters. They also poison all of their relationships. They're like women when it comes to talking shit only with more killer instinct.

I think this is true for all of the gay men who hang out with women. Why would truly gay men want put up with all of women's bullshit?

Post: #10

When it comes to subversive beta orbiters or worse little aids infested faggots trying to undermine your relationship with a girl you actually would like to pursue a relationship with, like an actual serious one. Tell her if and when they start trying to undermine they need to get fucked. They go or you go. There will be a time after awhile in your relationship with her when you can go down that road. Obviously not in the beginning, but let her know at least what your thoughts and boundaries are early on. Take action later if problems arise and time goes on between you two.

You're a man, your protect who and what you love from outside threats. In this case little saboteurs. She may throw a fit at first and say "no they are only friends I swear". Yeah in her world. But deep inside she knows what they're after. Mark your territory she'll respect you. Women want to be owned by one man.

Though I wouldn't be trusting no woman who has homos as friends anyway.

Post: #11

Agree with all the above comments. It's her reaction to your saying you didn't like her seeing this shit stabber which would be the deal breaker for me.

Post: #12

I wouldn’t worry about it unless you’re looking at this girl as marriage material. Most relationships never get anywhere near that point. All you should care about is that she comes when you call her and gives you the lowest possible amount of stress.

It’s her job to try to tie you down into marriage. Not the other way around. Just keep fucking her until she puts the lid on the honey pot ...then move on.

Post: #13

(11-03-2018 03:36 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  Anyway, so he's back in town and whilst I did not tell her I don't want her to see him, I have made clear I don't like it. This led to the usual, bigot, insecure, jealous, etc accusations, you can't tell me who I'll see - which I never did. I merely said I don't like it.

What is the best way to deal with the gay friend problem?

This is not only disrespect towards you and your prefferences, but also shows stupidity on her part and brainwashed NPC behaviour. Basically what you said, your prefference/desire doesn't mean jack shit to her and she doesn't value it. As a result of this, I would immediately ask her to cut contact with that guy, and when she will (most likely) refuse, next her. You don't neeed someone who doesn't care about what you have to say if you're considering a LTR anyway.

Post: #14

Suck his dick so he leaves your girl alone and tries to mess with you then ghost him.

Post: #15

Sounds to me like this woman is using her gay friend as some sort of reverse dread game on OP. At 29 she's instilling dread into the relationship with 3rd party (unverifiable) statements about the relationship in order to get OP to commit further

Girl game recognized

To flip the script Id ignore all of her texts and or calls for 2 days. I mean completely go dark. That will adjust her attitude

Post: #16

Make an official meeting with your wife. Discuss it as if it was a security council of the United Nations. Tell her this "man" has to disappear from her life. If she doesn't agree , even after protest , you will have to consider other partners for your life.

Post: #17

(11-03-2018 04:09 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  It's not a gay friend problem, it's a relationship problem. She values that relationship more than the one with you, and it doesn't appear to be changing. While I am new around here, this behavior is something I have been exposed to in my past. She already knows you don't like the guy, and she stills entertains it. Do you really think it's gonna get any better? If this was a girl instead of a gay guy, would it be any different in your eyes?

Unless you are open to being second fiddle to her gay friend talking trash about you, it might be time to explore other options.

this.


i delt with this like 4 or 5 years ago... and never again after that...

I ended up breaking up with her when she got drunk with her gay friend and she couldnt drive home to me so she said she was sleeping on his air matress.s. As soon as she texted me that i facetimed her asap and she said her phone fell asleep on her hand when she read the text. lol.. bullshit... she was sleeping in the same bed as him... but its ok because he is gay... needless to say i dumped her ass. i was playing her anyways, just needed a girl to suck my dick everyday and to go out with on the weekends to have fun with.. wasnt wife material but still that was my last straw with her... after that... the gay friend also badmouthed me... i think he got jealous that he never got to hangout with her because i was with her. thats just how a lot of the gay best friends are.

Post: #18

I wouldn’t waste my time on an LTR with a girl who defends a fag and calls me a bigot.

Post: #19

Most of these guys are not gay. Just pathetic weaklings. Fooling them self that they are gay. In their misery they go sabotage you. Bunch of clowns.

Call out the truth. Psycho analyze them to tears. Have a "therapy session". These guys are so weak, that once you call 'em out, you never hear from 'em again.

Post: #20

(11-05-2018 07:07 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  Most of these guys are not gay. Just pathetic weaklings. Fooling them self that they are gay. In their misery they go sabotage you. Bunch of clowns.

Call out the truth. Psycho analyze them to tears. Have a "therapy session". These guys are so weak, that once you call 'em out, you never hear from 'em again.

or they are actually bi, just 'pronouncing their gay side'... or another thing that happens is that they suddenly become 'curious' for women...

Post: #21

(11-05-2018 07:07 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  Most of these guys are not gay. Just pathetic weaklings. Fooling them self that they are gay. In their misery they go sabotage you. Bunch of clowns.

Call out the truth. Psycho analyze them to tears. Have a "therapy session". These guys are so weak, that once you call 'em out, you never hear from 'em again.

I honestly wouldn't take it serious enough to confront whoever it is, gay guys are like women and they don't use logic. They're so far gone that we aren't going to accomplish anything by talking to them.

I mean, you have to have something weird going on up there to be gay in the first place. I don't go out of my way to talk to fags.

I would put my foot down and tell her she can't hang out with the drama inciting cocksucker, and that should be reason enough for her to not hang out with him anymore.

If she really cares so little that she'll disobey you over some effeminate loser then the LTR is a bad idea anyways.

Post: #22

(11-05-2018 08:41 AM)Obermarschall Wrote:  

(11-05-2018 07:07 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  Most of these guys are not gay. Just pathetic weaklings. Fooling them self that they are gay. In their misery they go sabotage you. Bunch of clowns.

Call out the truth. Psycho analyze them to tears. Have a "therapy session". These guys are so weak, that once you call 'em out, you never hear from 'em again.

or they are actually bi, just 'pronouncing their gay side'... or another thing that happens is that they suddenly become 'curious' for women...

Lately I've started to believe the theory that gay men are the result of extreme sexual perversion and hedonistic pursuit.

We never had the sheer amount of them that we do now and I don't believe for a second that we have always had this high of a number of men being "born" mentally disfigured to desire other men. People think that in the past we had a ton of homosexuals that were afraid to come out, but I think that's completely false. People in the past knew homosexuality was wrong just like they knew that murder and other sins were wrong, and society was the better for it.

I think what we're seeing now is blatant promotion of the behavior causing the rise of it. Just like how weak women jump on opportunities offered by society to be promiscuous and claim victimhood and sexual oppression, weak sex crazed men see how gays are idolized and you end up with another one joining in on it. Gay relationships don't work out and you just end up with a bunch of mentally ill men basing a community on the weird fetish of fucking other in the ass.

Post: #23

(11-03-2018 07:32 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  I wouldn’t worry about it unless you’re looking at this girl as marriage material. Most relationships never get anywhere near that point. All you should care about is that she comes when you call her and gives you the lowest possible amount of stress.

It’s her job to try to tie you down into marriage. Not the other way around. Just keep fucking her until she puts the lid on the honey pot ...then move on.

She had actually raised marriage before. Until this dispute she had been very available. You're right of course that it would be down to her to raise rel status, and I have kept to that rule, however, I have now raised this gay friend which led to a dispute and I could not just ignore it as it blew up.

Post: #24

(11-03-2018 04:11 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  Gay dudes are nothing but trouble. I used to have some gay friends and they were all degenerate social leaches. A lot of them were switch hitters as well, each gay friend I've ever had talked about disarming women with their gayness and then partying with the girls getting drunk and fucking them. You may be surprised how often that works, a lot of those dudes were getting laid by more women than I was at the time.

I've long been suspicious that all gay dudes are switch hitters. They also poison all of their relationships. They're like women when it comes to talking shit only with more killer instinct.
...

Interesting at the very least, even if it is anecdotal.

Post: #25

(11-04-2018 08:13 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Sounds to me like this woman is using her gay friend as some sort of reverse dread game on OP. At 29 she's instilling dread into the relationship with 3rd party (unverifiable) statements about the relationship in order to get OP to commit further

Girl game recognized

To flip the script Id ignore all of her texts and or calls for 2 days. I mean completely go dark. That will adjust her attitude

PT, she did actually use dread game a lot in the past. In relation to this gay friend however I doubt this was a dread game play, she just told me he was about to visit. She does not see him as any kind of issue, I think to her this is just a very old friend. Whilst in the past I have cast a wary eye on this rather strange relationship, she and her best girlfriend seem to have some kind of special bond with this person and he lent her money before, until this point there have been no major disputes about him. I should also mention she told me that her best girlfriend would offer herself up as a joke to the gay guy saying 'if you're not married by 40 I would be available', so I can well imagine the 'fun' that goes on when those three meet.

I did go dark for two days. She then sent a text complaining 'Are we seriously going to fight every time', as if I had been the one who initiated the fight. To recap, she had told me that this gay friend was going to visit her, with her other friend, at her house. I then told her I did not like her meeting the guy, and calmly tried to explain my reasons, he had previously told her I was most likely difficult though he's never met me and some other things. To this she said I was talking bullshit repeatedly, and I then hung up on her. She followed up with an irate text calling me a bigot, insecure, possessive, etc and I again calmly explained my reasons why I don't like this guy.

So the argument was caused by her in my view. Anyway, fast forward and after two days of going dark, yesterday I got that text 'Are we seriously going to fight every time?'. My response was to calmly explain that she had escalated the argument, not me, and that she had blocked me on FB for her homosexual friend.

She replied that firstly she did not like me using the term 'homosexual', which I thought was very funny. Then she claimed I was talking nonsense again. She said she had not met with the GF but not because she decided not to, but he had not come, so I am guessing they met today. Anyway, I again explained why I do not like this guy, that her behavior in blocking me was unacceptable and that she effectively chose her friend over me by doing that.

She also said she could not be influenced by her friends, which I know is not true, and claimed she hardly talked to the GF much anyway.

I asked her who does she choose, me or the GF, she said she would always choose me, but I can not tell her to stop talking to her friend.

At this point, I made it clear to her that I want her to break off all contact with this person. She said I can not tell her to stop talking to her friends, that this guy was one of her few real friends, that it was not right to ask this, ridiculous. That if I wanted to control her life this was not going to happen.

I replied she can choose to be loyal to her friend or to me, it's her decision, but I was not going to tolerate a homosexual undermining our relationship.

She then said 'I do not have to choose', she would not allow me to try and control what friends she can talk to.

I told her she obviously chose this person over me, that was all I needed to know.

She replied 'I am not choosing anybody and I do not have to. Your choice if you have a problem about me talking to my friends, then you have a big problem'.

I replied 'I hope he's worth it. Have a nice life. If you change your mind to cut contact with GF let me know'.

She thanked me for everything and said she would not let me control her life, 'Take Care'.

She then blocked me in the middle of the FB conversation.

Then yesterday night she unblocked me but did not text. I suspect she will be in touch again.

The way I see it, if this friend is more important to her I want no part of this, so I will go dark indefinitely.

Should I have played this differently? To be honest I am more than disappointed that a 3 year rel would go down the drain because of something like this.