Post: #51

That's actually very good. Short and sweet.

I know her. She's seething at the fact that I'm not responding. She actually told me this in a similar situation before when I did not respond.

It makes her mad.

She previously claimed someone would pick up her suitcases at my place. This never happened and she admitted it was purely made up.

Of course I could call her bluff and ask for a pic of the receipt.

Post: #52

Okay, she sent a second text.

When she was here last November her father died on a motorcycle accident with her sister. I flew her straight back to attend the funeral and paid for her sister's operation. So she wrote:

"It is my father's death anniversary today so we're all going to the mountain. I remember how you were there with me and my family throughout. I'd be forever grateful. Thank you."

I don't think I can ignore this. I am thinking of replying.

"You know how I feel about you, I would always be there for you if only you would show me with your actions that I am the most important man in your life. I showed by my actions that I will always have your back. If you could do the same when I have a concern we could get past this. My thoughts are with you and your family today"

Post: #53

Hold the line. Let her steep in the dread a day or two. At least one full day

Youre likely used to responding to her right away. So is she (used to your timely responses)

You need to "disrupt" the pattern in order for any meaningful change to be able to take hold.

I have a lot of experience with different levels of HPD...especially girls that have been "beautiful" their whole lives

You got a long way to go to get this under control

She will try all kinds of emotional manipulation in order to get what she wants (desires) and is afraid to lose (fear) :

Your attention

Post: #54

A few observations:

1) You get more of what you tolerate, less of what you do not. And you sir, tolerate quite a lot. She picked this up a while ago, after the first few shit tests.

2) If she cheated on a previous guy, what makes you think she won't cheat on you - or hasn't already?

3) She very probably had sex with this gay guy at some point and is telling herself he will eventually put the dick down and come back. Women need the sense of options - you are on the list, but not at the top.

3) Because she may have had sex with a gay guy, your chance of an STD may have gone up exponentially. This is not bigotry, it is medical fact - homosexual men are much more promiscuous and far more likely to carry an STD, often a serious one.

4) There is no "bi"sexual. He's a homo but she's kidding herself.

5) She is 29 but thinks she can have perfectly normal, healthy kids up till 35 or beyond - this could go on forever.

6) Do not discount the possibility of a pregnancy trap - maybe one where the "gay" guy gets past the goal line before you wife her up, leaving you none the wiser.

7) Even though you are 47 she is not the last notch on earth - no matter what you look like. For chrissakes, reading your first few posts I thought you were still in high school. You're close to my age and ought to know better by now. Why is she so worth it? Lose her number.

Post: #55

PT, I did not see your message in time. Her text about her father's death anniversary made me think I should reply something.

I replied to her last text "You know how I feel about you. I want to always be there for you. I need you to show me the same with your actions. Did you meet John yesterday".

She replied "I told you have not met with him. He already left."

Which is a bit odd since she first told me how he was going to go visit her with another girlfriend of hers.

Post: #56

SB,

1) Spot on

2) I made crystal clear it's the last chance.

3) I am wondering myself.

Post: #57

The only thing crystal clear is her belief - through your affirmation in that last text - that you will

ALWAYS

be there.

So why wouldn't she explore other options?

This would be you, walking on in her, right now:

Post: #58

^Harsh...but funny

Post: #59

It’s over.

This was similar to how my last marriage ended. The other guy wasn’t gay, but every other aspect of this story matched mine. I was left with the only course of action to maintain my dignity:

Bail.

Post: #60

I asked her why John did not go and see her. She claims because of bad rains.

I'm almost certain they met.

Anyway, she's now ignoring my last text. Ostensibly with her best friend and family getting ready for the death anniversary service in their mountain house.

How I wish I'd never replied.

Post: #61

So we have the following:

-An obvious long distant relationship
-A gay friend who has bad talked OP because "maybe not a good fit"
-OP hasn't met gay friend
-OP gave ultimatum, she called the bluff, now has control of frame
-Was going to go radio silent but responded to texts

This isn't going anywhere but south OP.

The guys are right, you gotta go radio silent and have her ass track you down if she really wants a fighting chance with you.

Only then will you gain some sort of frame back.

She's using bait/emotionally manipulative texts to get a response from you.

Bottom line period (as has been said): HOLD THE LINE, stay silent.

Post: #62

Thanks K-man. Okay, I will go silent as of now.

She is so skillful. First the bluff with the combs.

Then another reply, but not really compliant, rather to pull me into her death anniversary event, to thank me.

I wish I had not replied at all.

So I should I wait until she replies with something tangible, that shows she is complying about cutting the GF out?

Post: #63

You're trying to be some sort of over the top controlling alpha male and it's just repulsive to women. Telling her who she can be friends with, being all serious, humourless and dramatic. "Show me with your actions I am the most important male in your life" What kind of needy beta shit is that?

Be the kind of guy who doesnt give a fuck, at all. Even if deep down you do care a little.

You can't directly control women like that, and directly tell them things like that. Everything has to be indirect. You can only indirectly control them.

For example if my girl had some gay friend who was trashing me, I would simply say "well what does he know about heterosexual relationships? He's gay. Maybe this is is his way of trying to get with me?" And after a few jokey comments like that she would stop caring about his opinion. Easy.

Post: #64

There is some truth to all that, but it's not that easy, mate, I did laugh off his comments at first. But this guy is a fixture in her life, he keeps coming back, visiting, texting and he has this very tight connection with her, her girlfriend and her engage in humour with sexual undertones with him, and I really don't like it. I would much rather this guy were gone. It's not that she builds her life on his instructions, he's just become a major annoyance.

Post: #65

(11-05-2018 08:01 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  Thanks K-man. Okay, I will go silent as of now.

She is so skillful. First the bluff with the combs.

Then another reply, but not really compliant, rather to pull me into her death anniversary event, to thank me.

I wish I had not replied at all.

So I should I wait until she replies with something tangible, that shows she is complying about cutting the GF out?

Over-gaming and over-investing. Cut your losses and find another one. Bang this one only when and if she contacts you for a booty call and even then, don't go out of your way unless you have nothing better to do.

Also, something slightly off-topic to consider: since chicks are attention whores for men's attention... when you're not around, it could be better for you that she gets her male attention hit from a gay dood(s) than from your legitimate competition. Just treat the gay doods like you would treat their female friends, keep them on your good side and they'll wingman for you because gays like pleasing other men lol.

Furthermore, take advantage of them in general. For example, if you ever go clothes shopping and there's the usual gay dood with a queer lisp at the menswear store, take advantage and haggle the prices. Get yourself some bargains. They'll cave in just like moron guys cave in to hot chicks. Gays cave in to regular dudes demands. LOL.

Post: #66

You have been in a relationship with this woman for three years and she has never introduced you to one of her closest friends who happens to be "gay." This is the biggest red flag for me. Why is this the case?

Honestly, who the fuck cares? The amount of red flags you mentioned in your posts should disqualify her from ever being considered for LTR. She is a cheating manipulative psychotic cunt. Move on with your life and don't waste more time with this train wreck.

Post: #67

(11-06-2018 03:14 AM)speculator Wrote:  You have been in a relationship with this woman for three years and she has never introduced you to one of her closest friends who happens to be "gay." This is the biggest red flag for me. Why is this the case?

Honestly, who the fuck cares? The amount of red flags you mentioned in your posts should disqualify her from ever being considered for LTR. She is a cheating manipulative psychotic cunt. Move on with your life and don't waste more time with this train wreck.

This post is spot on... Three years and not being introduced to a best friend, just let that sink in @OP. I am sure you can do much better.

Post: #68

(11-06-2018 03:14 AM)speculator Wrote:  You have been in a relationship with this woman for three years and she has never introduced you to one of her closest friends who happens to be "gay." This is the biggest red flag for me. Why is this the case?

I explained it above, we have been living together for a year in 2/3/4 month intervals over those three years, but I always had her come to where I am. Even if I were in her place, that GF does not live there anymore and only visits now and then. So it's understandable I've not met him, she's not gonna bring him to live with us.

Post: #69

(11-05-2018 07:20 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Hold the line. Let her steep in the dread a day or two. At least one full day

Youre likely used to responding to her right away. So is she (used to your timely responses)

You need to "disrupt" the pattern in order for any meaningful change to be able to take hold.

I have a lot of experience with different levels of HPD...especially girls that have been "beautiful" their whole lives

You got a long way to go to get this under control

She will try all kinds of emotional manipulation in order to get what she wants (desires) and is afraid to lose (fear) :

Your attention

I had the dread nicely set up after my demand she cut out GF was refused and I told her 'have a nice life'. However, she has diffused this yesterday. After her bait of two texts, I actually wasn't going to reply to the first one, but when she sent that second text about it being her father's death anniversary I figured I could not ignore that without looking like a total dick. My response was not good, but I think I made it worse by asking if she met with GF, and then asking for the reason why he did not show up like he said he would. That showed I was still invested, and I then asked her when she was going to her family residence in the mountains, and what she was doing. To the last text I got no reply for 15 minutes, until she texted 'getting ready'. I then went dark. She would normally text she is leaving now, or text when she is home, but nothing so far.

I will go dark until she replies. I suspect she will then be in touch again, but not with a compliant post, ie she will not post that she is removing GF from her life, but again it will be something non-compliant. Given that I have made the ultimatum, I don't think I can accept anything less than her removing the guy now, so do I just insist on this if she reaches out again, after going dark for a day?

Post: #70

cut this girl from your life man.she is playing mind games with you.get rid.find another girl and move on

Post: #71

She sounds like a child to be honest.

Theres a reason most heterosexual guys feel uneasy with their girls being around gay men. Gay men don't compete for women, so they don't develop social masculinity. They have strange feminine social structures where they're applauded for being bitchy and demeaning to others; while not being judged on their value in terms of being 'pretty' like most girls are. Their sex lives are completely devoid of all responsibility and seem mostly just avenues of pure hedonism. As a result their opinions on dating are nonsense and toxically devoid of any 'real world' sentiment. Dating practices such as dating multiple people at once or having open relationships seem greatly the norm in their culture.

I wouldn't mind a girlfriend having a gay friend who's an acquaintance. But one that she travels to go see and spend time with alone, you have to ask why she can't that intimacy from other female friendships or with the guy she's dating.

Post: #72

all friends to all girls are toxic
better if your future wife/ltr has no friends at all
its just fine if she speaks to her family members

a girl with no friends is the best thing ever.nobody to wisper crap in her ears

Post: #73

(11-06-2018 10:01 AM)mr-ed209 Wrote:  She sounds like a child to be honest.

She is very immature for her age. But at the same time very intelligent and street-smart.

I think there is more to this relationship with the gay guy than I was told. I don't trust this relationship. They seem to be very close, for people who almost never meet, and she almost never tells me about communications with him. Except when he visits.

(11-06-2018 10:05 AM)zamfir112 Wrote:  all friends to all girls are toxic
better if your future wife/ltr has no friends at all
its just fine if she speaks to her family members

a girl with no friends is the best thing ever.nobody to wisper crap in her ears

Yes, her two other friends are toxic as well. One is a tall girl who has on her facebook 'know your worth', and my girl once disappeared a whole day without saying anything and turned out it was because her friend had lost her bf and they went to get drunk on cognac. She came back the next day still drunk. She doesn't drink normally btw. So a bad influence. The friend is a single mother as well and just lost her bf

The other best girlfriend is a chubby talker who also just lost her bf. So both friends bitter towards men now.

Both girlfriends pander to my girl shamelessly, who uses them as butlers almost. Like if there is a big queue she'll send one of those girls to queue for her.

Post: #74

even if the guy is not a switch hitter he will still poison her. sodomites ruin everything.

my first serious girlfriend had a sodomite bff, one of those really soft, efeminate types. I was still far away from being aware of all the things talked about on this forum, so I was a bit beta and I had no problem with her having a bff who took it up the butt. I thought it was ok since he posed no threat sexually. My father warned me at the time that he would poison her mind against me (or simply to be more 'free' and 'experiment'), but I thought I knew better and that she was not that type. I found out too late that he encouraged all the worst behaviors which led to that relationship ending as she turned into just another entitled thot - and believe me, while every girl has the potential to be a thot, this girl used to be a really sweet girl. After the breakup I watched through social media like a little bitch how she turned from a girl who hated clubs into a complete degenerate, party girl, always accompanied by her gay bff. In the end, all it took to ruin her was continuous contact with a filthy sodomite (and admittedly, my lack of dominance at the time to tell her to quit it).

My wife had a sodomite colleague in college that she used to keep in contact with and have coffee every month or so when we started dating. I told her right away that I don't date (much less marry) a woman who hangs out - even sporadically - with this kind of people, and I told her why. She understood and agreed, and that was that - never heard about that faggot again. The fact that your girl called you a bigot when you raised concerns tells me she is beyond saving though. it doesn't take a genius to understand their pernicious influence. She is either too naive or you're too late (if she's 29 I'd say too late).

Post: #75

Jefferson

After reading more of your posts my suggestion would be just continue on as you have but lower your emotional expectations. This woman is not faithful wife material. Certainly not for someone who's clearly out of his depth regarding controlling the man / woman interpersonal dynamic...and I mean no offense. You dont have the temperament nor the skill set.

The good news?

She's 18 years younger than you. She's attractive. She has sex with you. You've won. She's already given you the highest best use a woman like her can give you. Her vagina.

Youre playing with house money. Its only your emotional investment that can make you a loser now.

Im not saying next her completely. Actually Im saying keep banging her. Just as if nothing had happened. Forget the fag

I am saying dont expect to turn this hot mess into a compliant housewife. Ever. Even if you could it would be exhausting and a life sentence.

In summary

Donts

1 Dont knock her up

2 Dont invest emotionally

3 Dont expect her to ever be what she cant

Do's

1. Take what you can get while the getting is good. (Sex )

2 Improve yourself and your game

3 Hit on other girls. God keeps cranking out new batches of 20 something women year after year. Get some