Post: #2876

Children, I never wanted them. My wife was desperate for them. I wanted her to be happy. So I agreed. Now I am so grateful these children were born. They are amazing. But there is a big price to pay. The wife changes completely, she focuses on the children. You're definitely demoted to third position in terms of importance. The wife loves me, and wants me, she would do most things sexually for me. But her soul now belongs to the children. I found that very difficult to take. A man, I think, wants to be loved at all times, no matter what. What's more no matter how good looking your wife is, after she approaches 40, or some other age, she will no longer be as desirable as she was at 19. So I hooked up with younger women. Not because I had no sex, or the sex was bad, not for sex. But because I wanted that feeling of being loved. That's when I realised, the younger woman pretended to be in love, but she craved money really. And that's how I found the red pill. I understood no woman will love you just for being you, for what you do, for who you are, regardless. They want other things, that benefit them. That was the hardest aspect of swallowing the red pill for me. And if a woman is so concerned with money, what's the difference to them and a prostitute really?

Post: #2877

(09-23-2018 11:05 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  Children, I never wanted them. My wife was desperate for them. I wanted her to be happy. So I agreed. Now I am so grateful these children were born. They are amazing. But there is a big price to pay. The wife changes completely, she focuses on the children. You're definitely demoted to third position in terms of importance. The wife loves me, and wants me, she would do most things sexually for me. But her soul now belongs to the children. I found that very difficult to take. A man, I think, wants to be loved at all times, no matter what. What's more no matter how good looking your wife is, after she approaches 40, or some other age, she will no longer be as desirable as she was at 19. So I hooked up with younger women. Not because I had no sex, or the sex was bad, not for sex. But because I wanted that feeling of being loved. That's when I realised, the younger woman pretended to be in love, but she craved money really. And that's how I found the red pill. I understood no woman will love you just for being you, for what you do, for who you are, regardless. They want other things, that benefit them. That was the hardest aspect of swallowing the red pill for me. And if a woman is so concerned with money, what's the difference to them and a prostitute really?

I agree with a lot of what you have to say. And I believe that men just like women want love and to be loved. But what I differ with is that women want just more money, or higher status or children, and do not want to love their man. This is not necessarily always the case.

I have known women that were totally and completely in love with their man. Women that had children and women that were in love with a man that was not high status or wealthy. So it certainly is possible. Not very common though.

I have had women that were completely in love with me. So I have that experience. I was not always able to deal with it so well and did not necessarily know how to receive it. But I think it is this way with most men. Being loved by a woman and having her commit to you totally is a rare and scary thing. If a man is not ready for this task he will fail at it.

It's like that movie "LImitless" where Bradly Cooper's character gets a hold of a pill that makes him basically the perfect man. He was a loser one minute and the next he is mister perfect. How many people will really be able to handle this? It takes a hell of a lot more than just intelligence to handle all of this success and power and money all at once. How many of us would have the moral clarity, the experience, the social acumen to all of a sudden handle such perfect skills and capabilities?

Same with the love of a good woman. I think that all of us basically to one degree or another get what we can handle or what we can get at that moment. Hopefully, we change and grow along the way and can handle more and more and get more and more.

Post: #2878

(08-25-2018 02:51 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(08-24-2018 05:31 PM)don_quixote Wrote:  I challenge anyone to imagine what their life would have been like 100 years ago. Most guys only had sex with one woman their entire lives. It's a totally different paradigm.

There were other considerations, though...

I know this is more than 100 years but someone a while back posted a link to a documentary about sex in the old west narrated by Keith Carradine. Sex back then was literally putting your life on the line by virtue of how epidemic VD was and how useless the treatment was if you caught something. The same was basically true going into the early part of the 20th century hence so many famous figures who were in some way driven mad by things like syphilis (like Hitler).

The syphillis epidemic began in the 1500s, and it was damn near a (slow) death sentence for players and whores. And everyone around them. Think of something like the AIDs epidemic among gay people, only worse, and affecting any straight people that fucked around too.

Post: #2879

@reco

Yes, they give you love. For a while. Then they get children. Or they just want material things, money. This 'total' 'complete' in loveness, it just doesn't last, does it?

Post: #2880

@Jefferson I don't really know. I only know what I have seen. And my experience is:

1. Its pretty damn rare.
2. Most people cannot handle it if they do encounter it.

Besides let's be honest we all want the same things, money, family, love, acceptance. Question is how do we go about getting them? Do we use love to get them? If so that's a pretty harsh way to go. But that is most of the women and men out there right?

As far as lasting. I think the love can last but the sexual interest goes away for men and women both. Some say it only takes about 3 years to fade.

Post: #2881

(09-23-2018 11:05 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  Children, I never wanted them. My wife was desperate for them. I wanted her to be happy. So I agreed. Now I am so grateful these children were born. They are amazing. But there is a big price to pay. The wife changes completely, she focuses on the children. You're definitely demoted to third position in terms of importance. The wife loves me, and wants me, she would do most things sexually for me. But her soul now belongs to the children. I found that very difficult to take. A man, I think, wants to be loved at all times, no matter what. What's more no matter how good looking your wife is, after she approaches 40, or some other age, she will no longer be as desirable as she was at 19. So I hooked up with younger women. Not because I had no sex, or the sex was bad, not for sex. But because I wanted that feeling of being loved. That's when I realised, the younger woman pretended to be in love, but she craved money really. And that's how I found the red pill. I understood no woman will love you just for being you, for what you do, for who you are, regardless. They want other things, that benefit them. That was the hardest aspect of swallowing the red pill for me. And if a woman is so concerned with money, what's the difference to them and a prostitute really?

I am assuming here (and you know what that might potentially mean): You were once a baby, a boy, and young man too. Get over it and get out. There is a redder pill than that which you think you have swallowed.

Save-point/Meditate. Work on yourself. Feel better. Ramp up. No worries.

Post: #2882

@Jefferson
Quite honestly, having been in your shoes, it sounds like you had a good woman who was down for you and you fell the grass is greener BS.
I have married homeboys who swear I’m living the life of Henry the Eighth, when in all actuality, I envy them for having someone who gives two fucks about them. Yeah I get tons of pussy but absolutely none of these bishes will be around if something were to happen to me.
Good luck on your quest mate!

Post: #2883

(09-23-2018 04:56 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  Besides let's be honest we all want the same things, money, family, love, acceptance. Question is how do we go about getting them? Do we use love to get them? If so that's a pretty harsh way to go. But that is most of the women and men out there right?

Yes we want money, love, acceptance, reco, that's true, once you get it you find that people change, it just does not last. You can get it if you find the right woman, but than woman CHANGES, she wants children, the sex changes, attitudes change. And when you get a younger lover, you get that love at first, but then they change, they want money or something else.

@ Max, thanks, but what's redder than finding out that you will never be loved for yourself, only for what you provide, children, money etc?

Post: #2884

(09-23-2018 05:48 PM)DimeBait Wrote:  @Jefferson
Quite honestly, having been in your shoes, it sounds like you had a good woman who was down for you and you fell the grass is greener BS.
I have married homeboys who swear I’m living the life of Henry the Eighth, when in all actuality, I envy them for having someone who gives two fucks about them. Yeah I get tons of pussy but absolutely none of these bishes will be around if something were to happen to me.
Good luck on your quest mate!

Yes, she is a good woman, slim, pretty, good heart and I could be with her if I want to. However, she is like a lemon that has been squeezed out, after having children, she's given everything to the children. Even living together she hardly has time for me, with two kids. She cares about me, that is the nicest part of it, and I care for her, a lot. However, the grass IS greener on other sides, there are younger women you can sleep with, but like you say, they do not care for me the same way. I was pretty shocked when this young girl demanded money from me, an "allowance" of 1000 USD. Fucking hell, I thought she cared for me. I couldn't believe it, she was after money.

Good luck on your quest, Dimebait, I hope you find someone you are happy to choose in the end. I hope you have more luck than I have had so far.

Post: #2885

I don't understand some of you guys talking about sexless marriages and complaining about it. I was in a sexless marriage, so I understand that part of the dynamic. But the truth is, I was so disgusted by her that I wanted to fucked anything BUT my wife at the time. Anybody share this experience???

Post: #2886

(09-23-2018 08:31 PM)Yellowcake Wrote:  I was so disgusted by her that I wanted to fucked anything BUT my wife at the time. Anybody share this experience???

I had that experience, but it was a worst-case scenario in the sense it was a shotgun marriage to a woman who I dated down as an easy rebound layup. So there was never any love (at least from me) and a whole heaping dose of resentment since she wouldn't get the abortion and I was too brutally honest about how I ranked her appearance. It didn't help that she never lost the weight after the pregnancy.

Post: #2887

Hey OP

There is a 40+ thread. Lots of good stuff for us older guys.

/thread-30.html

Post: #2888

Sorry. Disregard what I posted. I replied to wrong thread. I was trying to redirect a 50 year old worrying about grey hair to the 40+ thread.

Post: #2889

Jefferson, you are exactly the same as the women you describe.

You desire to feel loved. In your eyes, a woman has to behave in a certain way to give you that experience. She has to validate you or else.

You are using her as a means to the end of feeling loved. Just as women used you to get access to money or high quality offspring.

Have you ever enjoyed the presence of a woman who was not stroking your ego in the way you so strongly desire?

Have you ever desired a woman intensely who had no interest in you?

Post: #2890

(09-24-2018 12:01 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(09-23-2018 08:31 PM)Yellowcake Wrote:  I was so disgusted by her that I wanted to fucked anything BUT my wife at the time. Anybody share this experience???

I had that experience, but it was a worst-case scenario in the sense it was a shotgun marriage to a woman who I dated down as an easy rebound layup. So there was never any love (at least from me) and a whole heaping dose of resentment since she wouldn't get the abortion and I was too brutally honest about how I ranked her appearance. It didn't help that she never lost the weight after the pregnancy.

My situation was similar in some respect. We had dated for a while, lived together and I felt trapped as if I "had" to marry her. It was my mistake for having going through with it. There was no real love - most likely on either part. The good thing is that we got out, have two kids who are well-adjusted, and we have been able to "co-parent" reasonably well.

But the idea of a sexless marriage is not just one of the guy begging his wife for sex - that seems pathetic to me. It can also go the other way around where the guy just doesn't want to fuck his woman and it can be for a multitude of reasons - she has little intellect, she doesn't maintain her body/physical appearance, bad family boundaries, the list goes on...

Post: #2891

(09-24-2018 08:02 AM)asdfk Wrote:  Jefferson, you are exactly the same as the women you describe.

You desire to feel loved. In your eyes, a woman has to behave in a certain way to give you that experience. She has to validate you or else.

You are using her as a means to the end of feeling loved. Just as women used you to get access to money or high quality offspring.

And also for sex, cooking, laundry services, sure. Don't we all use women this way? Interesting perspective, asdfk. So do you think it is wrong to use a woman for sex, cooking, housework, the feeling of being loved?

(09-24-2018 08:02 AM)asdfk Wrote:  Have you ever enjoyed the presence of a woman who was not stroking your ego in the way you so strongly desire?

Have you ever desired a woman intensely who had no interest in you?

Have I ever been with a woman who does not stroke my ego? Many times. Of course her having sex with you strokes your ego inevitably, but I know what you mean, that whole being in love devotion was absent many times and it was never as good in those instances.

Yes, I have desired a woman intensely who had not interst, you crash and burn sometimes. I made a fool of myself many times. That's why it's so nice when you find a woman who actually does show real interest in you. Until she tells you she wants an allowance of 1000 USD, I still can't get over that.

Post: #2892

(09-22-2018 05:18 PM)robreke Wrote:  A 30 year old girl just came back into my life. After several good dates at the first of this year she ended up moving to Montana to stay with her dad. Now she's back. I had been traveling a lot at the time and she got tired of the month gaps in between seeing her.

Decisions.

Honestly, at this age once you've vetted her, either she meets your standard or she does not.

If she does, go for the LTR - whatever that entails for you.

Post: #2893

(09-24-2018 05:33 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

(09-22-2018 05:18 PM)robreke Wrote:  A 30 year old girl just came back into my life. After several good dates at the first of this year she ended up moving to Montana to stay with her dad. Now she's back. I had been traveling a lot at the time and she got tired of the month gaps in between seeing her.

Decisions.

Honestly, at this age once you've vetted her, either she meets your standard or she does not.

If she does, go for the LTR - whatever that entails for you.

I say fuck 'em all and let "god" sort 'em out.. for LTR. Who do you want throwing flowers and dirt on your grave... and maybe mix it up with a dance?

Post: #2894

40+ here . Married with 5 children. My wife is not perfect but she is younger than me and she treats me very well + she had maintained a slim feminine figure this day . Nothing is going to be perfect and everyone is going to have to compromise in one way or the other.

My takeaway here is that a lot of you fellas are seriously over thinking things. At 40+ its time to shit or get off the toilet. Its a lot different keeping up with children when you are late 20s / early 30s than it is in late 40s/early 50s. Dont kid yourself . The wall is there for men too in terms of raising kids. Not saying you wont be able to do it with a late start but its going to be more difficult in every passing year. If you are still in the planning stage/ undecided in your 40s that should be a big red flag to yourself.

I would like to give a suggestion in regards to finding a suitable feminine wife with a low/zero notch count and a nurturing supportive countenance. Look for a Christian girl living as a minority in a non Christian country. You almost can not go wrong here. But be willing to make acceptable compromises.

Post: #2895

(09-25-2018 07:21 PM)10119 Wrote:  40+ here . Married with 5 children. My wife is not perfect but she is younger than me and she treats me very well + she had maintained a slim feminine figure this day . Nothing is going to be perfect and everyone is going to have to compromise in one way or the other.

My takeaway here is that a lot of you fellas are seriously over thinking things. At 40+ its time to shit or get off the toilet. Its a lot different keeping up with children when you are late 20s / early 30s than it is in late 40s/early 50s. Dont kid yourself . The wall is there for men too in terms of raising kids. Not saying you wont be able to do it with a late start but its going to be more difficult in every passing year. If you are still in the planning stage/ undecided in your 40s that should be a big red flag to yourself.

I would like to give a suggestion in regards to finding a suitable feminine wife with a low/zero notch count and a nurturing supportive countenance. Look for a Christian girl living as a minority in a non Christian country. You almost can not go wrong here. But be willing to make acceptable compromises.

Nowadays the financial barrier to most young guys is far tougher than being a little older when you're raising them. You can take care of yourself and be physically fit when you're older nowadays, but if you get behind the eightball financially with kids in tow, it's really stressful and dangerous.

Post: #2896

Seems to me a lot of guys are having kids later in life.

Having a 15 year old when you’re 60 isn’t going to be easy, but what a good motivator to stay on top of your health.

Life is unpredictable. Guys drop at 40-50 all the time. You can plan all you want but you never have any real control.

I’ll be a better father in my 40’s and 50’s than I would have been when I was in my 20’s without a doubt.

I’d back the clock up if I could, but none of us can do that.

Post: #2897

^^Lots of those children of 20-year-olds end up getting raised by grandma and grandpa.

I wouldn't trust a 20 year-old with my laundry.

Post: #2898

(09-25-2018 08:07 PM)SeaFM Wrote:  I’d back the clock up if I could, but none of us can do that.

We make the best choices we can at the time we make them.

When I look back at my 20s - which were not a great time for me - I honestly don't wish to have done things differently. My wish machine would have to completely remake every element of my environment back then. So it goes - as men, we change our environment and build things better.

Post: #2899

(09-25-2018 08:23 PM)Dulceácido Wrote:  ^^Lots of those children of 20-year-olds end up getting raised by grandma and grandpa.

I wouldn't trust a 20 year-old with my laundry.

20 is too young but anyone who thinks having newborns in their 40s is not a big deal is kidding themselves. Most 40 year olds I see that are having kids usually have just one and stop because they can't handle more than one. Problem is though that having one kid is a disaster for that kid. Kids need siblings, they need companionship of other kids when they're growing and when the parents die, kids that are only children are left all alone with no family. Other thing too is that while some exceptional 40 year olds can find a woman in their late 20s to have kids with, most guys, especially in the west are going to get stuck with some mid-late 30s bitch who will be lucky to pump out one kid and only after all sorts of fertility treatment.

I think the ideal age for guys is the 33-36 age range or thereabouts. Most guys can get pretty well established financially by then and they'll still be young enough to handle young children. Plus at that age, you can still pretty easily find a chick in her 20s to lock down, even in the West. Men do hit the wall too, I agree with that and it usually starts at around 40.

Post: #2900

(09-25-2018 08:52 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  20 is too young but anyone who thinks having newborns in their 40s is not a big deal is kidding themselves. Most 40 year olds I see that are having kids usually have just one and stop because they can't handle more than one. Problem is though that having one kid is a disaster for that kid. Kids need siblings, they need companionship of other kids when they're growing and when the parents die, kids that are only children are left all alone with no family.

snip

Agreed. 100%. I think we got our wires crossed. lol

I wasn't suggesting that it's a good idea to start a family in your 40's. What I meant was you are far more capable to raise a family in your 40's.