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Older Guys (40+)
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Duke Main Offline
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Post: #3001
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-21-2018 03:07 PM)ksbms Wrote:  
(10-21-2018 02:17 PM)RawGod Wrote:  
(10-15-2018 03:56 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  Statistically speaking every guy in this thread is either in the beginning of the end, or further into the end

Statistically speaking, that is true. Yet we have all known younger people who who were actually close to the end and didn't know it, as they met with early deaths. None of us know how long our time is. If you're 40, you might have 40-50 relatively healthy years ahead - or you might not. One thing is for sure, I'm very grateful for each day now I'm over 40. Seeing the sunrise or sleeping with a young woman - even if she's no "9" - is a joy and a privilege. Most of our ancestors never made it this far.

I think you missed the word "statistically" in JayJuanGee's post. You can always, with enough aggregated data points, point out a case to the contrary, e.g., an outlier. Hence, statistical mean/median, has deviation/variance, by definition, built into it.
LOL, he literally repeated the word 'statistically' in his post, so it's doubtful he missed it. Just thought I'd point that out for the sake of pedantry.
10-21-2018 04:13 PM
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Post: #3002
RE: Older Guys (40+)
I guess it's technically correct if you've begun the second half of your life to say it's the beginning of the end. But calling it The Beginning of the End is an awfully pessimistic perspective. There is simply no need to be so pessimistic.
10-21-2018 04:25 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
Not me. I'm fucking immortal.

In my teens I thought I'd never escape my 20's. In my 20's, I was convinced I'd die by 30. At 35, I said 40 was the end. Very soon after the 40-year mark, I was convinced that I'm, most likely, not gonna die any time soon. Then I started thinking: how fucking miserable are these next 40 years gonna be if I don't start taking care of myself and change a fuck-ton of bad habits I'd developed whilst thinking I was gonna die at any moment.

40 is not fucking old, Gents. You still have time to fix your shit and you can live many more very happy years. Stop procrastinating and making stupid excuses. Get your life and health in order.

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10-21-2018 05:21 PM
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Post: #3004
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-21-2018 04:25 PM)Hypno Wrote:  I guess it's technically correct if you've begun the second half of your life to say it's the beginning of the end. But calling it The Beginning of the End is an awfully pessimistic perspective. There is simply no need to be so pessimistic.

Hahahaha...

It is a factual matter. A guy should be able to hold several contrary (or in-tension) concepts in his head at the same time in terms of factuality, optimism and proactiveness.

I understand that no guy wants to contemplate his own death, and perhaps I have had a certain amount of running ins with guys (on this forum and in real life, too) when it seems to me that these concepts of mind over matter has its limitations.

Each of us has to deal with our own recognition of our physical and mental abilities and what kinds of goals that we might set for ourselves and what actions we consider to help us towards reaching our self-set goals.

Of course, we can work with diligence on ourselves and achieving our goals (or we can tweak our goals, too), and for example, we actually might get lucky to be able to live long enough and in good health to be able to bang chicks into our 80s or later, but there are going to be points along our over 40s path in which performance is perceived to be deteriorating and we are not able to physically perform some things that we might have been able to perform at younger ages.

Of course, there are going to be outliers too in terms of luck and in terms of preparations that allow for luck. I am not necessarily going to denigrate a older guy who is not ready, willing or able to continue to bang chicks because I could end up falling into that situation and each guy has his own circumstances - even though sometimes we are able to formulate pretty strong presumptions when we see the lives of other guys that some guys have caused some of their own bad performance (or even limited number of years) because of some lifestyle choices that diminished their power and longevity.
10-22-2018 01:28 AM
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Post: #3005
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-21-2018 01:59 PM)DimeBait Wrote:  Man, my energy levels are hella low! I thought it was the Low T, but i've been on TRT & Vitamin B injections plus Vitamin D supplements for awhile and not really feeling much energized. Someone suggested it's the Intermittent Fasting and not enough calories to sustain work-outs and daily energy expenditure. Any suggestions on what to check next?

DB: I looked at some of your recent posts in this thread, and it looks like i have about 10 years on you.

I might not be a good person to answer some of your points because I have never had my testosterone checked, and I have not taken TRT... I have had some passing moments of lack of erections, but it seems to come when I am tired or if I have already had sex with the same girl for several sessions, so I don't consider my own difficulties to be outside of normal (or acceptable) performance.

With any kind of health situation that is possibly within our control to improve, I attempt to focus on diet, rest and exercise in terms of attempting to cause my best performance or to attempt to improve when I start to feel sluggish or physical image issues (getting too soft, for example).

Surely with erections, there seems to be a certain mental component to the matter; however, sometimes when a guy is done, he is done all the mental in the world and even helping attempts from the girl is not going to rescue the situation. By the way, I have not tried blue pills either.

I recall my many years younger girlfriend from a few years ago seemed to have a lot more energy than me because we would go out dancing and she would not want to leave.... so I was frequently the party pooper to say that it is time to go home. Frequently, she would joke that I need to get a girl my own age... hahahahahahaha. I was thinking the opposite, if you know what I mean in terms of stimulation with even younger girl and just some stimulation that can come from seeing new girls.

Without getting too much in the weeds, what are you doing in terms of diet, exercise and sleep?

Regarding diet, unless there is something special going on with you, I would NOT think that it is necessary to take any vitamin B supplements unless you are either practicing some form of vegetarianism or if you had been a vegetarian in the past. Maybe you can explain? And regarding vitamin D, are you in northern location and don't get much sun exposure? I do hear that intermittent fasting can be good, especially if you are having some gut absorption issues, yet I would also think that attempting a solid foundational diet might be better, even though I do understand the concept of intermittent fasting can work with a variety of foundational diets to address some issues even going beyond the gut with insulin resistance issues that comes with aging, too.
10-22-2018 01:47 AM
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Post: #3006
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-21-2018 05:21 PM)Dulceácido Wrote:  Not me. I'm fucking immortal.

In my teens I thought I'd never escape my 20's. In my 20's, I was convinced I'd die by 30. At 35, I said 40 was the end. Very soon after the 40-year mark, I was convinced that I'm, most likely, not gonna die any time soon. Then I started thinking: how fucking miserable are these next 40 years gonna be if I don't start taking care of myself and change a fuck-ton of bad habits I'd developed whilst thinking I was gonna die at any moment.

40 is not fucking old, Gents. You still have time to fix your shit and you can live many more very happy years. Stop procrastinating and making stupid excuses. Get your life and health in order.

40 isn't old, but that decade goes quicker than the others.

Before you blink, you are 50.

Like you rightly said, you have to change your bad habits or else.

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10-22-2018 04:49 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
What is it that gets worse after 50? What do we need to prepare for?
10-22-2018 04:52 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-22-2018 04:52 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  What is it that gets worse after 50? What do we need to prepare for?

If you're lucky and attentive to your health it's just a gradual decline. My joints get somewhat inflamed sometimes, I have tinnitus (since I was in my 30s) and general hearing loss, gum disease, dry papery skin, harder to maintain muscle, enlarged prostate makes it unlikely you'll sleep through the night, and overall increased fatigue.

If you're careless or unlucky you might fall and break things more easily. You could get alzheimers or parkinsons or a plethora of other degenerative diseases.

Some people get more depressed as they age, others get happier. I seem to stay about the same; generally satisfied with life, somewhat pleasantly surprised it's turning out better than it might have.

Pay attention the the things you can control and accept what you can't control, kind of like the serenity prayer. It's profoundly good advise.
10-22-2018 07:26 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-22-2018 07:26 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  
(10-22-2018 04:52 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  What is it that gets worse after 50? What do we need to prepare for?

If you're lucky and attentive to your health it's just a gradual decline. My joints get somewhat inflamed sometimes, I have tinnitus (since I was in my 30s) and general hearing loss, gum disease, dry papery skin, harder to maintain muscle, enlarged prostate makes it unlikely you'll sleep through the night, and overall increased fatigue.

If you're careless or unlucky you might fall and break things more easily. You could get alzheimers or parkinsons or a plethora of other degenerative diseases.

Some people get more depressed as they age, others get happier. I seem to stay about the same; generally satisfied with life, somewhat pleasantly surprised it's turning out better than it might have.

Pay attention the the things you can control and accept what you can't control, kind of like the serenity prayer. It's profoundly good advise.


I like your overview, DukeM. You did leave out one of the BIGGIES for guys, and that is heart issues. Sometimes we will NOT perceive the underlying issue, so we could end up experiencing a heart issue without expectation, and in other cases, guys perceive (or are told about the issue through the reading of lab results) which might cause them to change some of aspects of their lifestyle.

One more difficulty is recovery time, so of course, our bodies can tolerate a lot more abuse when younger, and also recover from such abuse which seems to take longer and longer as we age (and likely becomes worse, if we do stay in shape - and even maintenance takes more hours when older, which you seem to have covered with your "harder to maintain muscle" statement).
10-22-2018 07:42 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-22-2018 07:42 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  
(10-22-2018 07:26 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  
(10-22-2018 04:52 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  What is it that gets worse after 50? What do we need to prepare for?

If you're lucky and attentive to your health it's just a gradual decline. My joints get somewhat inflamed sometimes, I have tinnitus (since I was in my 30s) and general hearing loss, gum disease, dry papery skin, harder to maintain muscle, enlarged prostate makes it unlikely you'll sleep through the night, and overall increased fatigue.

If you're careless or unlucky you might fall and break things more easily. You could get alzheimers or parkinsons or a plethora of other degenerative diseases.

Some people get more depressed as they age, others get happier. I seem to stay about the same; generally satisfied with life, somewhat pleasantly surprised it's turning out better than it might have.

Pay attention the the things you can control and accept what you can't control, kind of like the serenity prayer. It's profoundly good advise.


I like your overview, DukeM. You did leave out one of the BIGGIES for guys, and that is heart issues. Sometimes we will NOT perceive the underlying issue, so we could end up experiencing a heart issue without expectation, and in other cases, guys perceive (or are told about the issue through the reading of lab results) which might cause them to change some of aspects of their lifestyle.

One more difficulty is recovery time, so of course, our bodies can tolerate a lot more abuse when younger, and also recover from such abuse which seems to take longer and longer as we age (and likely becomes worse, if we do stay in shape - and even maintenance takes more hours when older, which you seem to have covered with your "harder to maintain muscle" statement).

Right, the heart is a biggie, and I just thought of type 2 diabetes and low T as well. I keep coming back to hammering away at sleep (quantity is quality), diet (which will impact heart health, diabetes risk and a host of others) and exercise (look and feel your best).

The list never ends, it keeps getting longer and more complicated.
10-22-2018 09:59 PM
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Post: #3011
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-22-2018 07:26 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  
(10-22-2018 04:52 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  What is it that gets worse after 50? What do we need to prepare for?

If you're lucky and attentive to your health it's just a gradual decline. My joints get somewhat inflamed sometimes, I have tinnitus (since I was in my 30s) and general hearing loss, gum disease, dry papery skin, harder to maintain muscle, enlarged prostate makes it unlikely you'll sleep through the night, and overall increased fatigue.

If you're careless or unlucky you might fall and break things more easily. You could get alzheimers or parkinsons or a plethora of other degenerative diseases.

Some people get more depressed as they age, others get happier. I seem to stay about the same; generally satisfied with life, somewhat pleasantly surprised it's turning out better than it might have.

Pay attention the the things you can control and accept what you can't control, kind of like the serenity prayer. It's profoundly good advise.

Thank you for this, Duke. That does not sound so bad, I was expecting a bit worse. You still seem to be relatively comfortable and able to fly to Phil and BK. So a few minor physical issues if one is lucky and does not get the big ones.

There is hope.
10-24-2018 11:13 AM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
Sixteen years ago, at age 43, I got hit by a car... I thought even at that time I was at the top of my game as far as looks and agility... youthful good looks run in the family on the maternal grandmother's side... and I was working out in the gym regularly, riding a bicycle almost everywhere if a car wasn't needed, played guitar and sang in a band. After the accident and lower back problems, I seemed to age rapidly b/c I quit doing a lot of the things that kept me young, plus my attitude deteriorated.

Two years ago, I quit feeling like the medical profession should run my life. I also quit my small media company that I developed and went back to school for my Associate's Degree... not a huge prize, but the reason for school was more for me to be around the younger set... to get my head in a better perspective around energized bodies.

Well, not all young people, I found, were living enthusiastic or energetic lives. Age is a relative thing. I gave up on too many facts about youth (except some are real, but most are driven by attitude and personal lifestyle choices, save for genetic ailments). The point is, I took the reigns and now, 16 years after my accident, I look and feel almost as good as I did before getting hit by a car (and allowing doctors and lawyers to encourage me to stay ill and grow old). I still have lower back issues, but the pain is more manageable with my own prescription of daily fitness, eating well, hydrating, and not hanging around dull, old-at-heart, whiny sickly people.

Now I just need to learn to have game... because I am older. If I take off my hat, I am balding. So I crop it with a zero buzzer. I have a nicely kept close beard, darkish in color with hints of red, blue eyes, glasses, nice smile, banter-weight fighter body, with a very outgoing personality. My music interests are mostly rock, but not today's crap. I don't do bars. I'm not into 20-somethings. I would like to be able to do better with the 35-45 female -- single or married, since I am single and I don't consider myself as the adulterer. (Yes, I just rationalized that in my favor. Ha.)

I am hoping this forum will be helpful, but I think I will need to meet gals who won't know much about me. Why? Because I believe -- and please correct me if I am wrong -- that once they find out I own a home outright, and have no debts, car is paid for, and I can cook and keep my place organized without servants, she will flee like a witch on a broomstick b/c the last thing a woman (these days) wants is a man who has his shit together... and so, to be with him means she truly is expected to be at least half as capable in life... or, IOW, my fucking equal. That's got to be a scary proposition, I'm assuming.

So, it almost seems I need to go outside my circle of usual social hangouts and create a backdrop that seems more "fascinating" to a female... I'm not sure if I am making my point. What do you guys think?
10-24-2018 04:38 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-24-2018 04:38 PM)Ronster Wrote:  Sixteen years ago, at age 43, I got hit by a car... I thought even at that time I was at the top of my game as far as looks and agility... youthful good looks run in the family on the maternal grandmother's side... and I was working out in the gym regularly, riding a bicycle almost everywhere if a car wasn't needed, played guitar and sang in a band. After the accident and lower back problems, I seemed to age rapidly b/c I quit doing a lot of the things that kept me young, plus my attitude deteriorated.

Two years ago, I quit feeling like the medical profession should run my life. I also quit my small media company that I developed and went back to school for my Associate's Degree... not a huge prize, but the reason for school was more for me to be around the younger set... to get my head in a better perspective around energized bodies.

Well, not all young people, I found, were living enthusiastic or energetic lives. Age is a relative thing. I gave up on too many facts about youth (except some are real, but most are driven by attitude and personal lifestyle choices, save for genetic ailments). The point is, I took the reigns and now, 16 years after my accident, I look and feel almost as good as I did before getting hit by a car (and allowing doctors and lawyers to encourage me to stay ill and grow old). I still have lower back issues, but the pain is more manageable with my own prescription of daily fitness, eating well, hydrating, and not hanging around dull, old-at-heart, whiny sickly people.

Now I just need to learn to have game... because I am older. If I take off my hat, I am balding. So I crop it with a zero buzzer. I have a nicely kept close beard, darkish in color with hints of red, blue eyes, glasses, nice smile, banter-weight fighter body, with a very outgoing personality. My music interests are mostly rock, but not today's crap. I don't do bars. I'm not into 20-somethings. I would like to be able to do better with the 35-45 female -- single or married, since I am single and I don't consider myself as the adulterer. (Yes, I just rationalized that in my favor. Ha.)

I am hoping this forum will be helpful, but I think I will need to meet gals who won't know much about me. Why? Because I believe -- and please correct me if I am wrong -- that once they find out I own a home outright, and have no debts, car is paid for, and I can cook and keep my place organized without servants, she will flee like a witch on a broomstick b/c the last thing a woman (these days) wants is a man who has his shit together... and so, to be with him means she truly is expected to be at least half as capable in life... or, IOW, my fucking equal. That's got to be a scary proposition, I'm assuming.

So, it almost seems I need to go outside my circle of usual social hangouts and create a backdrop that seems more "fascinating" to a female... I'm not sure if I am making my point. What do you guys think?

I suspect that you won't have much trouble meeting a woman. I'd think the fact that you have your act together will make you more attractive to women in that age range.
10-24-2018 04:42 PM
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rudebwoy Away
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Post: #3014
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-24-2018 04:38 PM)Ronster Wrote:  I am hoping this forum will be helpful, but I think I will need to meet gals who won't know much about me. Why? Because I believe -- and please correct me if I am wrong -- that once they find out I own a home outright, and have no debts, car is paid for, and I can cook and keep my place organized without servants, she will flee like a witch on a broomstick b/c the last thing a woman (these days) wants is a man who has his shit together... and so, to be with him means she truly is expected to be at least half as capable in life... or, IOW, my fucking equal. That's got to be a scary proposition, I'm assuming.

I don't believe they will flee, but nothing is a guarantee these days. No one needs to know that you no debts and own your own home.

Keep doing fun stuff and becoming interesting.

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10-24-2018 05:43 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
Gents, can we get back to how we are ultra interesting and desired to the 21-26 cohort of women?

And maybe take our health woes over to a lifestyle thread?
10-24-2018 06:34 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
I'll start.

I was mechanized infantry in Gulf War One. It was hell over there in that "no-sex/porn" zone. Frackin' Saudis. But when we got back... man, oh man, it was lit for years and the fire still burns :-)
(This post was last modified: 10-24-2018 06:41 PM by Max RNR.)
10-24-2018 06:40 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
Thanks, man... and now, not even doing anything but having been the last guy out from a room this evening, and feeling concerned over some woman still remaining behind, would you believe I get accused of stalking? Just this evening. WTF is wrong with this world? This crazy woman threatened to call the cops.
10-24-2018 07:00 PM
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rudebwoy Away
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Post: #3018
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-24-2018 06:34 PM)Max RNR Wrote:  Gents, can we get back to how we are ultra interesting and desired to the 21-26 cohort of women?

And maybe take our health woes over to a lifestyle thread?

How about you move over to the lifestyle thread!

I and others are interested in talking about health.

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10-24-2018 08:05 PM
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Post: #3019
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-24-2018 06:34 PM)Max RNR Wrote:  Gents, can we get back to how we are ultra interesting and desired to the 21-26 cohort of women?

And maybe take our health woes over to a lifestyle thread
?

As a fellow 40+ man, imo you need to have the bolded on point if you're going to have any success in that demographic.

Worth talking about.

Btw.....how about 19 and 20 year olds as well? Lol
10-24-2018 09:44 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
Seems like you're doing better than most of the men in your age group. I salute you, Sir.

"We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately."
10-24-2018 10:55 PM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
@Ronster ...Going to echo Lance Blastoff...with some cautions but first let's go over your "fear"

"- that once they find out I own a home outright, and have no debts, car is paid for, and I can cook and keep my place organized without servants, she will flee like a witch on a broomstick b/c the last thing a woman (these days) wants is a man who has his shit together."

Your exactly what a mid 30-40 girl wants....in this "divorce culture" your a man with stuff and thus a target.
I think what is saving your ass from not losing 50% of everything you own right now through a divorce is that your comfortable in your paid off cave along with your bachelor/health routines. This isn't "dumb luck" on your part but instinctive self preservation of assets.

Yeah it's lonely at the top of the mountain. You made it..and so what. it is more than likely your bored at the top of the mountain don't mistake being bored with loneliness and wanting a chick to spice things up...love turns to boredom pretty fast along with the sex.

You need challenges...as when you worked your health back...and paying off assets, challenges that make you feel alive and keeps your mind sharp.
Myself (57) I sold everything....moved to a nice city (apartment) to learn that has a airport and travel (learn languages,cultures e.t.c) my kids (grand kids) and family know I need this to feel alive. I pump iron to have good form/protect myself in shit hole countries if need be/and for good health because I travel solo and me is all I got where ever I am at.
When the brain goes to shit because of boredom or being in a comfort zone to long you lose stuff (muscles/ form/ health/ teeth) and turning exclusively to a women isn't exactly the cure to boredom and could be the exact opposite.

............LIFE isn't a DRESS REHEARSAL.........
10-25-2018 12:32 AM
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RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-25-2018 12:32 AM)Incubus Wrote:  When the brain goes to shit because of boredom

Yep, major risk.

Boredom creeps up on you, soon enough your breakfast is a six pack of beer, and then onto the vodka. Then you start doing stupid shit that you wake up and can vaguely remember...and regret.
10-25-2018 01:07 AM
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Pytonga Offline
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Posts: 57
Joined: Jul 2018
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Post: #3023
RE: Older Guys (40+)
I'm 40 yrs old - scuba diving, sky diving and gym... healthy diet but struggling with stress and sleep.
I am finding that recovery takes longer plus I am getting muscles cramps not sure why.
That's a little bit concerning.

Funny thing is that in sky diving most trainee folk are in their 20's full of energy and fearless. They have no idea about dangers but they are full of energy.
In my opinion it is a really good idea to hang around younger folk and take some of their youth energy.
10-25-2018 02:05 AM
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Dulceácido Offline
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Post: #3024
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-25-2018 02:05 AM)Pytonga Wrote:  In my opinion it is a really good idea to hang around younger folk and take some of their youth energy.

When I was in the military and working my way into leadership positions (climbing the corporate ladder), I studied military leadership and ethics... I read lots of books on the lives/habits of great leaders and warriors: Lincoln, MacArthur, Patton, Churchill, etc. By far, the most impressive were the Spartans so I devoured every text I could find about them.

They were the "shock troops" of the ancient world--probably the best soldiers the world has ever seen. They didn't have any duties outside of being soldiers; they had slaves for that. All they did was train their minds and bodies to fuck people up, day and night for many, many generations. I took a lot from their teachings.

In regards to what you've said, they embraced a concept called "The staff and the reed." It was an analogy. The idea being: a staff (the weapon) and a reed are made stronger when bound together.
In the battle lines they wouldn't use all experienced veterans. They would disperse young, inexperienced men amongst "The Peers" (full Spartan warriors). For the old men, it was a reminder to be a shining example to the young men. The youth lifted the spirits of the veterans to which the rigors of combat were all "old news." Seeing a young man experience these things and develop into men was an overwhelming motivation. They would draw upon their youthful energy. Everything was new to them. For the young men, they had role models to guide them and peers to impress. It gave them goals to achieve and an unflinching eye of judgement on their character.

It's good to be around the youth, but not to become one. Don't act like them or think, for even a moment, that you're "part of their crew." You'll just look like a desperate shithead. If they are smart, they will hold your age and experience in reverence. And if you're a rock-solid person to emulate, they will respect you.

I'm not a businessman; I'm a business, Man
10-25-2018 03:47 AM
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Duke Main Offline
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Post: #3025
RE: Older Guys (40+)
(10-25-2018 02:05 AM)Pytonga Wrote:  I'm 40 yrs old - scuba diving, sky diving and gym... healthy diet but struggling with stress and sleep.
I am finding that recovery takes longer plus I am getting muscles cramps not sure why.
That's a little bit concerning.

Funny thing is that in sky diving most trainee folk are in their 20's full of energy and fearless. They have no idea about dangers but they are full of energy.
In my opinion it is a really good idea to hang around younger folk and take some of their youth energy.
I get leg and foot cramps if I don't supplement electrolytes (specifically potassium, magnesium and sodium; I think I get enough calcium in my normal diet). You might do some searching online to find a good guide about what, and how much.
10-25-2018 06:11 AM
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